Latest / Mark Twain; his life and work. A biographical sketch / 10 - Mark Twain; his life and work. A biographical sketch by William M. Clemens
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: This is chapter ten of Mark Twain, His Life and Work,
- 0:03Speaker 1: a biographical sketch by William M. Clemens. This LibriVox recording
- 0:09Speaker 1: is in the public domain. Chapter ten, Mark Twain at Home,
- 0:14Speaker 1: read by John Greenman. When in eighteen sixty eight Samuel L.
- 0:20Speaker 1: Clemens visited the city of Hartford, Connecticut, to arrange for
- 0:24Speaker 1: the publication of his first book, Innocence Abroad, he was
- 0:28Speaker 1: captivated by the old town and its beautiful suburbs. Later,
- 0:32Speaker 1: in eighteen seventy one, when he determined upon leaving Buffalo
- 0:37Speaker 1: and taking up his residence in an eastern city, it
- 0:40Speaker 1: was not strange that he should select Hartford as the
- 0:43Speaker 1: site for his permanent home. In a corner of the
- 0:47Speaker 1: Nook Farm on Farmington Avenue, about a mile and a
- 0:51Speaker 1: quarter for business center of the city, he built a large,
- 0:54Speaker 1: unique house of brick and stone. The building was of
- 0:58Speaker 1: the Queen anne and style of architecture, which just at
- 1:02Speaker 1: that time was the most popular as well as the
- 1:06Speaker 1: most aristocratic mode of residence in vogue. There were gables
- 1:11Speaker 1: and arches and quaint windows, and in many of these
- 1:14Speaker 1: boxes of flowers were placed. The house was built in
- 1:18Speaker 1: the center of a parklike grove of old trees and
- 1:22Speaker 1: the hand of a Scotch landscape artist, soon molded hedges,
- 1:25Speaker 1: flower beds and a well kept lawn. To day it
- 1:29Speaker 1: stands a home of homes. A porte cochere covered with
- 1:33Speaker 1: vines extends from the entrance under which the carriages drive.
- 1:38Speaker 1: The exterior of the house has the air of a
- 1:40Speaker 1: luxurious old English home. From the day that Mark Twain
- 1:44Speaker 1: and his young wife took up their abode in their
- 1:47Speaker 1: Hartford home, money was expended with lavish hands, and the
- 1:51Speaker 1: result has been a rich, charming, artistic and homelike interior.
- 1:57Speaker 1: One is ushered into an immense square hall, the floor
- 2:01Speaker 1: of which is in marble tiles of peculiar pattern. A
- 2:05Speaker 1: winding staircase, very wide and massive of heavily carved English
- 2:09Speaker 1: oak extends above. Opposite the front door are double doors
- 2:14Speaker 1: leading into the library. Near these doors in the hall
- 2:18Speaker 1: stands upon a marble pedestal the bust of mister Clemmons,
- 2:22Speaker 1: executed by young Carl Gerhardt. There are also paintings on
- 2:27Speaker 1: the carved oaken walls of the hall and a heavily
- 2:30Speaker 1: carved table. To the right are double doors leading into
- 2:34Speaker 1: the large drawing room all the doors and windows are
- 2:38Speaker 1: draped at the top by handsome lambrikins. The doors and
- 2:42Speaker 1: woodwork are of dark polished wood covered with stencil designs
- 2:46Speaker 1: in metallic paint, so that at a short distance they
- 2:49Speaker 1: look as if inlaid with mother of pearl. The drawing
- 2:53Speaker 1: room is furnished with light colored satin furniture. Leading from
- 2:57Speaker 1: this apartment is the dining room, which is fin in
- 3:00Speaker 1: heavy carved woods of the most elaborate workmanship, high carved
- 3:05Speaker 1: dado old tapestry portier a massive buffet covered with cut
- 3:10Speaker 1: glass and silverware. An odd idea is a window directly
- 3:15Speaker 1: over the fireplace. It is of one solid piece of
- 3:18Speaker 1: plate glass, surrounded by a frame of dark blue glass,
- 3:22Speaker 1: and inside that like the mat of a picture opal glass.
- 3:26Speaker 1: As one looks out at the beautiful landscape, he can
- 3:30Speaker 1: hardly realize at first that it is nature's handiwork, thus
- 3:34Speaker 1: framed in instead of a painting actually hanging upon the wall.
- 3:39Speaker 1: The flu of the fireplace extends each side of this
- 3:42Speaker 1: picturesque window. Connected with the dining room is the library,
- 3:46Speaker 1: which is the general living room. It has large double
- 3:50Speaker 1: doors leading into the front hall opposite the entrance. It
- 3:54Speaker 1: is a sunny, cheerful room with a huge, heavily carved fireplace,
- 3:59Speaker 1: which Miss Clemmens brought from Europe, where it had once
- 4:02Speaker 1: held place in an ancient castle. It seems to have
- 4:06Speaker 1: brought with it to this American home some of the dignity, pomp,
- 4:10Speaker 1: and splendor of which it once formed an important part.
- 4:15Speaker 1: The room looks as if it belonged to a baronial castle,
- 4:19Speaker 1: but in winter it is less somber, and a blazing
- 4:22Speaker 1: fire of logs burns behind the brass fender, bringing into
- 4:26Speaker 1: greater prominence the motto cut in brass above the fire.
- 4:30Speaker 1: The ornament of a house is the friends that frequent it.
- 4:34Speaker 1: On either side are low bookshelves built against the wall.
- 4:38Speaker 1: They form a part of the massive chimney piece and
- 4:42Speaker 1: look like wings of a great bat. The floor is
- 4:45Speaker 1: covered with rugs, and luxurious seats are fitted into the windows.
- 4:49Speaker 1: A large carved table stands in the center, covered with
- 4:53Speaker 1: magazines and papers. The whole house has rather the appearance
- 4:58Speaker 1: of an old castle, with the carvings grotesque and ponderous,
- 5:02Speaker 1: instead of the old mahogany of colonial days. A wide,
- 5:07Speaker 1: oaken staircase leads to the apartments above the most conspicuous
- 5:11Speaker 1: of which is a large room fitted up most comfortably
- 5:14Speaker 1: with cozy nooks filled in with cushioned seats. Beyond is
- 5:20Speaker 1: a room in which a large rocking horse and scattered
- 5:23Speaker 1: toys make one acquainted with the reason mister Clement ceased
- 5:26Speaker 1: writing in this attractive apartment and moved still further upstairs
- 5:31Speaker 1: to a corner of the billiard room. Each suite of
- 5:34Speaker 1: apartments has its separate bathroom. One guest chamber is furnished
- 5:39Speaker 1: in pink silk. Even the bedstead is of pink silk,
- 5:43Speaker 1: tufted all over with tiny satin buttons. The study or
- 5:49Speaker 1: work room of the humorist is the billiard room upon
- 5:52Speaker 1: the upper floor, the windows of which look out upon
- 5:56Speaker 1: the broad acres of beautiful landscape. In the distancence is
- 6:00Speaker 1: heard the ripple of park river. In the corner of
- 6:03Speaker 1: the room is his writing table, covered usually with books, manuscripts, letters,
- 6:09Speaker 1: and other literary litter. And in the middle of the
- 6:12Speaker 1: room stands the billiard table. Mister Clemens is an expert
- 6:17Speaker 1: billiard player, and when he tires of writing at his
- 6:20Speaker 1: little desk in the corner, he rises and makes some
- 6:24Speaker 1: scientific strokes with the queue. A resident of Hartford says
- 6:28Speaker 1: that he called upon Mark once in the billiard room,
- 6:31Speaker 1: when the fire in the grate threw some sparks out
- 6:34Speaker 1: upon the floor. These caught some loose paper, and the
- 6:37Speaker 1: room for a moment promised to break out in flames.
- 6:41Speaker 1: Twain was playing billiards at the time, says the man,
- 6:44Speaker 1: and he did not stop his game. He immediately rung
- 6:48Speaker 1: for the servants and lazily told them that they had
- 6:51Speaker 1: better extinguish the fire. And with that he leaned over
- 6:55Speaker 1: the table and made a stroke with his billiard cue,
- 6:58Speaker 1: which would have done honor to the world champion. Twain
- 7:02Speaker 1: never gets excited. The study is a long room with
- 7:06Speaker 1: sloping sides formed by the roof. There are three balconies adjacent,
- 7:11Speaker 1: two large ones on either side, and one at the end.
- 7:15Speaker 1: One may step out into these through regular doors. His
- 7:19Speaker 1: mode of work in this study is systematic. He makes
- 7:22Speaker 1: it an invariable rule to perform a certain amount of
- 7:25Speaker 1: literary work every day, and his working hours are made
- 7:29Speaker 1: continuous by his not taking any midday meal. He is
- 7:33Speaker 1: merciless toward his own productions, and has often destroyed an
- 7:37Speaker 1: entire day's labor as soon as it was written. He
- 7:40Speaker 1: found by experience that the final result was more satisfactory
- 7:44Speaker 1: by taking this course than by trying to remodel what
- 7:47Speaker 1: he considered a faulty manuscript. In this way he has
- 7:51Speaker 1: destroyed hundreds of pages of manuscript, and from one of
- 7:55Speaker 1: his larger books he called out no less than five
- 7:58Speaker 1: hundred pages. Since his advent in the city of Hartford,
- 8:03Speaker 1: Mark Twain has won for himself the name of Prince
- 8:07Speaker 1: of Entertainers. Seated in his richly furnished library, to whose
- 8:12Speaker 1: beauty and artistic completeness half the lands of Europe have contributed.
- 8:17Speaker 1: He will tell an anecdote or discuss a literary or
- 8:20Speaker 1: social question with a calm directness, an earnestness, revealing to
- 8:25Speaker 1: you an entire new side of his character that has
- 8:28Speaker 1: nothing in common with that which he is wont to
- 8:31Speaker 1: display to the public who thronged to his lectures. Even
- 8:35Speaker 1: his drollest stories. He relates with this same earnest impressiveness,
- 8:40Speaker 1: and with a face as serious as a sexton's. His
- 8:44Speaker 1: brilliancy has a certain delightful quality which is almost too
- 8:48Speaker 1: evanescent to be imprisoned in any one phrase. You have
- 8:51Speaker 1: no oppressive consciousness that you are expected to laugh, you
- 8:56Speaker 1: rather feel as if the talker had unexpectedly taken you
- 9:00Speaker 1: into his confidence, and you feel your heart going out
- 9:03Speaker 1: toward him in return. He is a reader of the
- 9:07Speaker 1: finest discriminating faculty, high dramatic power, and remarkable sympathetic interpretation,
- 9:14Speaker 1: and his reading of Browning, whom he greatly admires, is
- 9:18Speaker 1: a rare entertainment. He is a leading member of the
- 9:21Speaker 1: Monday Evening Club of Hartford, the Author's Club, the Century Club,
- 9:26Speaker 1: the Actors Club of New York, and other social and
- 9:30Speaker 1: literary organizations. During the summer months, mister Clemens and his
- 9:35Speaker 1: family sojourn at Quarry Farm near Elmira, New York, at
- 9:39Speaker 1: the home of mister T. W. Crane, whose wife is
- 9:42Speaker 1: a sister of Missus Clemens. Here among the historic hills
- 9:46Speaker 1: of the Chemung Valley, the humorist works with the same
- 9:50Speaker 1: systematic rule as in the study of his Hartford house.
- 9:54Speaker 1: A friend who visited mister Clemens in his summer retreat
- 9:57Speaker 1: writes as follows a summer the house has been built
- 10:01Speaker 1: for mister Clemmens within the Crane grounds, on a high
- 10:05Speaker 1: peak which stands six hundred feet above the valley that
- 10:09Speaker 1: lies spread out before it. The house is built almost
- 10:14Speaker 1: entirely of glass, and is modeled exactly on the plan
- 10:17Speaker 1: of a Mississippi steamboat's pilot house. Here, shut off from
- 10:22Speaker 1: all outside communication, mister Clemens does the hard work of
- 10:27Speaker 1: the year, or rather the confining and engrossing work of writing,
- 10:33Speaker 1: which demands continuous application day after day. The lofty work
- 10:38Speaker 1: room is some distance from the house. He goes to
- 10:42Speaker 1: it every morning about half past eight, and stays there
- 10:45Speaker 1: until called to dinner by the blowing of a horn
- 10:49Speaker 1: about five o'clock. He takes no lunch or noon meal
- 10:53Speaker 1: of any sort, and works without eating. While the rules
- 10:57Speaker 1: are imperative not to disturb him during this working period,
- 11:03Speaker 1: his only recreation is his cigar. Another correspondent wrote as follows.
- 11:09Speaker 1: To keep away the large number of visitors and sightseers
- 11:13Speaker 1: who come to view the sanctum, Twain posted upon his
- 11:17Speaker 1: door the following notice step softly, keep away, do not
- 11:23Speaker 1: disturb the remains. In spite of this characteristic warning, we
- 11:28Speaker 1: open the door and enter. The floor is bare. There
- 11:32Speaker 1: is a table in the center of the room covered
- 11:35Speaker 1: with books, newspapers, manuscripts, and all the paraphernalia of authorship.
- 11:41Speaker 1: Over the fireplace is a shelf on which rests a
- 11:44Speaker 1: few books and a couple of boxes of choice cigars.
- 11:49Speaker 1: An intimate acquaintance writing of mister Clemens and the tobacco habit,
- 11:53Speaker 1: says he is an inveterate smoker, and smokes constantly while
- 11:58Speaker 1: at is work, and indeed all the time from half
- 12:02Speaker 1: past eight in the morning to half past ten at night,
- 12:05Speaker 1: stopping only when at his meals. A cigar lasts him
- 12:09Speaker 1: about forty minutes. Now that he has reduced to an
- 12:13Speaker 1: exact science the act of reducing the weed to ashes,
- 12:18Speaker 1: so he smokes from fifteen to twenty cigars every day.
- 12:23Speaker 1: Some time ago he was persuaded to stop the practice,
- 12:26Speaker 1: and actually went a year and more without tobacco, But
- 12:30Speaker 1: he found himself unable to carry along important work which
- 12:34Speaker 1: he undertook, and it was not until he resumed smoking
- 12:38Speaker 1: that he could do it. Since then, his faith in
- 12:41Speaker 1: his cigar has not wavered. Like other American smokers, mister
- 12:46Speaker 1: Clemens is unceasing in his search for the really satisfactory
- 12:51Speaker 1: cigar at a really satisfactory price, and first and last
- 12:56Speaker 1: has gathered a good deal of experience in the pursuit
- 13:00Speaker 1: It is related that, having entertained a party of gentlemen
- 13:04Speaker 1: one winter evening in Hartford, he gave to each just
- 13:07Speaker 1: before they left the house one of a new sort
- 13:10Speaker 1: of cigar that he was trying to believe was the
- 13:13Speaker 1: object of his search. He made each guest lighted before starting.
- 13:19Speaker 1: The next morning, he found all that he had given
- 13:21Speaker 1: away lying on the snow beside the pathway across his lawn.
- 13:26Speaker 1: Each smoker had been polite enough to smoke until he
- 13:31Speaker 1: got out of the house, but every one, on gaining
- 13:34Speaker 1: his liberty, had yielded to the instinct of self preservation
- 13:38Speaker 1: and tossed the cigar away, forgetting that it would be
- 13:41Speaker 1: found there by daylight. The testimony of the next morning
- 13:45Speaker 1: was overwhelming, and the verdict against the new brand was accepted.
- 13:51Speaker 1: Some years ago, in making a phrenological examination of Mark Twain,
- 13:55Speaker 1: Professor Beale of Cincinnati made report as follows. Wit humor
- 14:03Speaker 1: are very familiar words, and yet from the difficulty in
- 14:07Speaker 1: defining them, or from not distinguishing the particular mental mechanism
- 14:13Speaker 1: upon which they depend, the relative merits of many authors
- 14:18Speaker 1: are often but vaguely understood. Wit is primarily an intellectual
- 14:24Speaker 1: perception of incongruity or unexpected relations. But the idea that
- 14:30Speaker 1: anything thus apprehended is ludicrous is suggested by the effective
- 14:36Speaker 1: faculty of mirthfulness in the same manner that the understanding
- 14:41Speaker 1: may perceive a dangerous object and thus arouse the emotion
- 14:46Speaker 1: of fear. The relation between the intellectual faculties and the
- 14:51Speaker 1: feelings is reciprocal, so that the sentiment of the ludicrous,
- 14:57Speaker 1: when strong, may prompt the to create imaginary senses or
- 15:03Speaker 1: associated ideas adapted to gratify it, or become active as
- 15:09Speaker 1: the result of real perceptions. Talent for wit then depends
- 15:15Speaker 1: upon certain intellectual activities combined with the sentiment of mirth.
- 15:21Speaker 1: But humor introduces another element, namely secretiveness. This propensity not
- 15:29Speaker 1: only creates the desire to conceal one's own thoughts, but
- 15:34Speaker 1: gives almost equal pleasure in penetrating the disguises of others.
- 15:40Speaker 1: It enables a joker to keep a straight face while
- 15:44Speaker 1: telling a story, and the secretiveness of the listener is
- 15:48Speaker 1: gratified by detecting the absurdity in the narrative beneath the
- 15:53Speaker 1: assumed gravity of the speaker, that is, to the amusing
- 15:57Speaker 1: incongruity of the events in the story is added the
- 16:01Speaker 1: further incongruity between the character of the story and the
- 16:05Speaker 1: serious countenance of the narrator. The English and Italians are
- 16:12Speaker 1: more humorous than witty, the reverse of which is true
- 16:16Speaker 1: of the French. Mark Twain is excellent in wit, but
- 16:21Speaker 1: super excellent in humor. Secretiveness is very marked in the
- 16:27Speaker 1: diameter of his head just above the ears, and is
- 16:31Speaker 1: indicated also by the width of his nostrils, the nearly
- 16:35Speaker 1: closed eyes, compressed lips, slow guarded manner of speech, et cetera.
- 16:43Speaker 1: His nose is of the apprehensive type in its great
- 16:47Speaker 1: length and somewhat hooked point, but it is not thick
- 16:51Speaker 1: enough above the nostrils to indicate taste for commerce. This
- 16:57Speaker 1: apprehensive or cautiousness nasal organ so prominent in Dante, Calvin
- 17:04Speaker 1: and other men celebrated for earnestness and gravity, might seem
- 17:09Speaker 1: an anomaly in this case, but for the explanation that
- 17:13Speaker 1: cautiousness and secretiveness are essential ingredients in genuine humor. On
- 17:20Speaker 1: this principle we can account for the temperament of our
- 17:23Speaker 1: great humorist, which is not the laughing, fat, rotund vital,
- 17:28Speaker 1: but rather the spare, angular, mental or mental motive, which
- 17:33Speaker 1: is favorable to hard sense, logic, general intelligence, and insight
- 17:40Speaker 1: into human nature. His intellect is well balanced, having a
- 17:45Speaker 1: strong foundation of perceptive faculties which gather details with the
- 17:49Speaker 1: fidelity of a camera. He has also a large upper forehead,
- 17:54Speaker 1: giving philosophical power ability to generalize, reason, plan, and see
- 18:00Speaker 1: a long way ahead. The middle centers, or memory of events, criticism,
- 18:07Speaker 1: and comparison, are also well developed. His eyes are rather
- 18:12Speaker 1: deeply set, and his language is subordinate to his thought.
- 18:17Speaker 1: The hollow temples indicate but little music and mirthfulness at
- 18:22Speaker 1: the upper corners of the forehead is by no means remarkable.
- 18:27Speaker 1: Ideality or love of beauty is only fair. The head
- 18:32Speaker 1: measures twenty two and a half inches, which is half
- 18:35Speaker 1: an inch less than the average intellectual giant. But the
- 18:39Speaker 1: fiber of the whole man is fine, close and strong,
- 18:43Speaker 1: and the cerebral combination is of a very available sort.
- 18:49Speaker 1: He has very ardent affections, strong love of approbation, sense
- 18:55Speaker 1: of justice, firmness, kindness, and ability to read character with
- 19:02Speaker 1: small self esteem. Love of gain or inclination to the supernatural,
- 19:09Speaker 1: knowledge of the world, and interest in humanity are his
- 19:13Speaker 1: leading traits and altogether, he is a phenomenal man of
- 19:17Speaker 1: whom Americans may well be proud. Being extremely domestic in
- 19:24Speaker 1: his tastes, Mark Twain is fond of his home life
- 19:27Speaker 1: and of his beautiful children. His eldest daughter, Susy, was
- 19:31Speaker 1: born in eighteen seventy two. Clara Langhorne was born in
- 19:35Speaker 1: eighteen seventy four, and Jeanne in eighteen eighty. Another child,
- 19:41Speaker 1: a son, died in infancy. Missus Clemens is described as gentle,
- 19:46Speaker 1: quiet and motherly, ten years younger than her husband. Mister
- 19:50Speaker 1: Clemens is reported to have said that when his mother died,
- 19:54Speaker 1: there would be no one left in the family to
- 19:56Speaker 1: appreciate his jokes. It is said Missus Clemens is particularly
- 20:01Speaker 1: slow in these matters. She dresses very plainly, wearing her
- 20:05Speaker 1: dark hair smoothly brushed from the parting in the center,
- 20:09Speaker 1: with no crimps or attempt at dressing. She appears still
- 20:13Speaker 1: more sedate by usually wearing eye glasses. She is, however,
- 20:17Speaker 1: noted for her goodness and for being a fond mother.
- 20:22Speaker 1: For many years, the near neighbors of the family have
- 20:25Speaker 1: been the families of mister Charles Dudley Warner, mister George Warner,
- 20:30Speaker 1: reverend mister Twitchell, and Missus Harriet Beecher Stowe. It is
- 20:35Speaker 1: said that once, when mister Clemmens, at the solicitation of
- 20:39Speaker 1: his wife, called on Missus Stowe, he was so absent
- 20:42Speaker 1: minded as to put on neither collar nor necktie on
- 20:46Speaker 1: Missus Clemmons. Remonstrating on his return, he said he would
- 20:50Speaker 1: make it all right, and accordingly sent a collar and
- 20:53Speaker 1: tie of his over to Missus Stow in a box.
- 20:58Speaker 1: Miss Susy has always been Dark's favorite child. She inherits
- 21:02Speaker 1: much of her father's brightness. She kept a diary at
- 21:05Speaker 1: one time in which she noted the occurrences in the family, and,
- 21:09Speaker 1: among other things, the sayings of her parents. On one page,
- 21:14Speaker 1: she wrote that father sometimes used stronger words when mother
- 21:18Speaker 1: wasn't by, and he thought we didn't hear. Missus Clemens
- 21:23Speaker 1: found the diary and showed it to her husband, probably
- 21:26Speaker 1: thinking the particular page worth his notice. After this, Clemens
- 21:31Speaker 1: did and said several things that were intended to attract
- 21:34Speaker 1: the child's attention, and found them duly noted afterward. But
- 21:39Speaker 1: one day the following entry occurred. I don't think i'll
- 21:43Speaker 1: put down anything more about father, for I think he
- 21:46Speaker 1: does things to have me notice him, and I believe
- 21:49Speaker 1: he reads This Diary of the Clemens Children, a correspondent
- 21:53Speaker 1: of a Chicago newspaper, tells of their adventures with their
- 21:56Speaker 1: father while on a visit to that city. As follows,
- 22:01Speaker 1: we came in last night, said Mark, pulling at the
- 22:06Speaker 1: left side of his mustache. Missus Clemmons is not very well.
- 22:12Speaker 1: Neither am I. I have been amusing the children. I
- 22:18Speaker 1: have taken them to a panorama. I understand there are
- 22:25Speaker 1: three others near here. I will take them there too.
- 22:31Speaker 1: I want to satiate them with battles. It may amuse them.
- 22:38Speaker 1: Three little girls, composed of three red gowns, three red parasols,
- 22:43Speaker 1: and six blue stockings, stood on the steps and laughed.
- 22:49Speaker 1: Run up and tell mamma what a jolly time you've had,
- 22:55Speaker 1: and I'll think of something else to amuse you. When
- 22:59Speaker 1: the three little girls had disappeared, mister Clemens's side, did
- 23:04Speaker 1: you ever try to amuse three little girls at the
- 23:09Speaker 1: same time, he asked, after a pause. It requires genius.
- 23:17Speaker 1: I wonder whether they would like to bathe in the lake,
- 23:21Speaker 1: He continued with sudden animation, hardly pausing five minutes between
- 23:27Speaker 1: each word, it might amuse them. Are you on your
- 23:33Speaker 1: vacation trip, mister Clemens. No, I have just returned from
- 23:42Speaker 1: a visit to my mother in Keacook, Iowa. We came
- 23:48Speaker 1: from Buffalo to Duluth by a lake steamer, and then
- 23:54Speaker 1: from Saint Paul down the river to Keacok. Neither in
- 24:00Speaker 1: this country, nor in any other, have I seen such
- 24:05Speaker 1: interesting scenery as that. Along the upper Mississippi one finds
- 24:12Speaker 1: all that the Hudson affords, bluffs, wooded highlands, and a
- 24:19Speaker 1: great deal. In addition, between Saint Paul and the mouth
- 24:25Speaker 1: of the Illinois River there are over four hundred islands
- 24:31Speaker 1: strung out in every possible shape. A river without islands
- 24:37Speaker 1: is like a woman without hair. She may be good
- 24:44Speaker 1: and pure, but one doesn't fall in love with her
- 24:49Speaker 1: very often. Did you ever fall in love with a
- 24:53Speaker 1: bald headed woman? The reporter admitted that he had drawn
- 24:58Speaker 1: the line there. I never did, either, continued mister Clemmons meditatively.
- 25:05Speaker 1: At least I think I never did. There is no
- 25:10Speaker 1: place for loafing more satisfactory than the pilot house of
- 25:17Speaker 1: a Mississippi steam boat. It amuses the children to see
- 25:22Speaker 1: the pilot monkey with the wheel. Traveling by boat is
- 25:27Speaker 1: the best way to travel, unless one can stay at home.
- 25:32Speaker 1: On a lake or river boat, one is as thoroughly
- 25:36Speaker 1: cut off from letters and papers and the tax collector
- 25:41Speaker 1: as though he were amid sea. Moreover, one doesn't have
- 25:46Speaker 1: the discomforts of seafaring. It is very unpleasant to look
- 25:52Speaker 1: at sea sick people, at least so my friends said
- 25:57Speaker 1: the last time I crossed. It might amuse the children, though,
- 26:03Speaker 1: suggested the reporter. I hadn't thought of that, replied mister Clemens.
- 26:09Speaker 1: But perhaps it might. The late seems rather rough to day.
- 26:15Speaker 1: I wonder whether one could get a boat, a little
- 26:22Speaker 1: boat that would bob considerably. Yes, it might amuse the children.
- 26:30Speaker 1: But it's such a sacrifice, you are not apparent, replied
- 26:36Speaker 1: the humorist. It is strange, continued mister Clemens, in a
- 26:41Speaker 1: momentary forgetfulness of the children. How little has been written
- 26:47Speaker 1: about the upper Mississippi. The river below Saint Louis has
- 26:53Speaker 1: been described time and again, and it is the least
- 26:59Speaker 1: interesting part. One can sit in the pilot house for
- 27:04Speaker 1: a few hours and watch the low shores, the ungainly trees,
- 27:11Speaker 1: and the democratic buzzards, and then one might as well
- 27:17Speaker 1: go to bed. One has seen everything there is to
- 27:23Speaker 1: see along the Upper Mississippi. Every hour brings something new.
- 27:32Speaker 1: There are crowds of odd islands, buffs, prairies, hills, woods
- 27:42Speaker 1: and villages. Everything one could desire to amuse the children.
- 27:50Speaker 1: A few people ever think of going there. However, Dickens, Corbett,
- 27:57Speaker 1: mother Trollope, and the other discriminating english people who wrote
- 28:04Speaker 1: up the country before eighteen forty two had hardly any
- 28:10Speaker 1: idea that such a stretch of river scenery existed. Their
- 28:17Speaker 1: successors have followed in their footsteps, and as we form
- 28:23Speaker 1: our opinions of our country from what other people say
- 28:28Speaker 1: of us, of course we ignore the finest part of
- 28:35Speaker 1: the Mississippi. At this moment, the three little girls in
- 28:39Speaker 1: the three red gowns and six blue stockings appeared, and
- 28:42Speaker 1: mister Clemmons assumed the shape of an amusement bureau. An
- 28:48Speaker 1: instance of his home life is the following anecdote. Having
- 28:53Speaker 1: been asked to contribute to a newspaper issued at the
- 28:56Speaker 1: fair in aid of the abused children in Boston, he wrote,
- 29:00Speaker 1: why should I want a society for the prevention of
- 29:07Speaker 1: cruelty to children to prosper when I have a baby
- 29:13Speaker 1: downstairs that kept me awake several hours last night, with
- 29:20Speaker 1: no pretext for it but to make trouble. This occurs
- 29:26Speaker 1: every night, and it embitters me because I see how
- 29:33Speaker 1: needless it was to put in the other burglar alarm,
- 29:38Speaker 1: a costly and complicated contrivance which cannot be depended upon
- 29:45Speaker 1: because it's always getting out of order, whereas although the
- 29:50Speaker 1: baby is always getting out of order too, it can
- 29:56Speaker 1: nevertheless be depended upon. Yes, I am bitter against your society,
- 30:05Speaker 1: for I think the idea of it is all wrong.
- 30:09Speaker 1: But if you will start a society for the prevention
- 30:14Speaker 1: of cruelty to fathers, I will write you a whole book.
- 30:21Speaker 1: At a heart for dinner party one day, the subject
- 30:24Speaker 1: of eternal life and future punishment came up for a
- 30:27Speaker 1: lengthy discussion in which Mark Twain, who was present, took part.
- 30:32Speaker 1: A lady near him turned suddenly toward him and exclaimed,
- 30:36Speaker 1: why do you not say anything? I want your opinion,
- 30:42Speaker 1: mister Clemmons replied gravely, madam, you must excuse me. I
- 30:49Speaker 1: am silent of necessity. I have friends in both places.
- 30:57Speaker 1: End of Chapter ten, read by John A. Greeman