Latest / Mother Makes Music / Episode 8: Post-Summer Catch Up

Transcript

Episode 8: Post-Summer Catch Up · Mother Makes Music

• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Mother Makes Music Podcast.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Megan McKay.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, and I'm so glad you're here.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to get it out of the way right from the top and just acknowledge that it is, in fact, October.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I accidentally took a summer hiatus.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't plan to.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that I would just sort of keep going.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then I literally just didn't actually have the capacity to do so.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Could I have done that in a more graceful way?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like announce we're gonna take a break for the summer.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Did I?
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, I did not.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it was sort of one of those things where I didn't mean to not post anything.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was just like, you know, it was the summer.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: My husband's a touring musician.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: So he was so busy.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: He was gone every weekend all summer, except for two, one of which we were on vacation because I saw it in the calendar and I booked something.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it was the thing where I just kept saying, after Stampede, I'll do one.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: After vacation, I'll do one.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: After the show, I'll do one.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it just never happened.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have child care over the summer.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's just me and the kids.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm supposed to get one day a week to work, but I think that probably happened like twice just with our schedules.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't have the capacity for it.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: So that said, I just wanted to do a little mini episode to just sort of mark the passing of time, acknowledge that it is October, and just sort of reaffirm that this podcast still exists.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I still think that it is so important.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really excited to be here.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And now that I have time and capacity to work on it, I'm very happy to get back to it.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because after my busy summer, I went to Germany in September.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, because that's how these things happen, while I was in Germany was the same time that my husband had a little mini tour and then had the Canadian Country Music Awards in Saskatoon.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So my dad watched the kids.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I've traveled more in this past year than I probably have in my entire adult life, especially international travel.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it literally would not have been possible without my totally rock star parents because it really does feel like every single time something comes up for me, my husband already has something booked, which is unfortunate.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: The dynamic of trying to build something for myself while being married to somebody who works in the same industry and is already very well established is tricky to navigate sometimes because the things that my husband gets to do are just bigger and better than the things that I am doing.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: My husband has been in this industry a lot longer than I have.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: He's a sought-after player, he's a producer, he is busy.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I really can't ask him to not do something just because I want to do something.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like it wouldn't make sense financially, it wouldn't align with our goals.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I totally get that.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: But it is hard to be the one whose stuff has to come second because his stuff is more important.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't mind saying that.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like that genuinely, his stuff is bigger, his artists are bigger, his opportunities are bigger.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's totally makes sense.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: It is totally logical.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's hard.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I get accepted into this program.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I was in Germany.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was part of this key change diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility leadership training program.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I get the letter telling me that I got in and that there are two mandatory festivals to attend, one in Estonia and one in Germany.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I look at the dates and I pull up my calendar.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And this was like fall of 2025.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: This was a while ago.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And he already has things booked for both the windows because that's how it happens.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: So then I have to call my parents and say, I just got into this program, but I'm gonna need you to watch the children for an extended amount of time.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then I just have to hope that they say yes.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: But that's that's what it's like.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that is sort of the reality of it.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like either I could have had children later and done some of this building stuff when I was younger, but I didn't even know I wanted to do any of this, really.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or you have your kids and then you just figure it out.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And some opportunities I can take and some opportunities I can't, and that's just that's the reality of it.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's a bummer, but what are you gonna do?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, so yes, the reason that I wanted to do this little mini episode, honestly, more than anything, is to just sort of force myself to jump back into it.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even tell you.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I had just gotten over the hurdle of feeling incredibly awkward about putting myself on the internet and talking into a microphone and getting that voice in my head that's like, what do you think you're doing?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody wants to hear what you have to say out of my head.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then I took this break and I feel like I'm starting at square one.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I feel so incredibly awkward about it, which is funny because I went to theater school.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was a performer for many years of my life.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little different because obviously when you're acting, you are a character.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not, you know, me talking.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's Nina and the Seagull or whatever I happen to be playing.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: But I definitely thought that it would maybe transfer a little bit, but no, for me, it has not.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: It is a completely different type of vulnerability that I was not expecting.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I will say that it has totally given me a greater appreciation for artists and the way that they put themselves out there because it is not easy.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: At least not for me.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure there are people who find it very easy.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: I am not one of them.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I've been dreaming about this podcast for such a long time.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was, I was planning it for so long before I actually launched it because I think that it is so important.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I even think about this program that I just finished.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: At no point did anybody talk about mothers or parents, caregivers, even though there are so many reasonable accommodations that mothers can and should be asking for, you know, whether it be flexible working hours or a private place and a fridge in a green room to pump, people just don't talk about those things, which is a shame.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I was kind of thinking about it because so I work primarily in country music, and country music has a female artist problem.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And when it's already hard for women, I totally understand that it feels weird to then further put them into groups, you know, to then also say, well, not only do you need to be supporting women, you also need to be supporting mothers.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: I get how that feels like it would be unnecessarily divisive and further complicate an already complicated problem.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I very much feel like it is its own thing that is worth discussing.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: So again, in Canadian country music, we have an incredible female artist, Jess Mosklug.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: She's been around for a very long time.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And Jess just had her first child recently, I think over the summer.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know Jess personally, but I would be willing to bet that she put off starting a family because she was worried about what it would do to her career.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then these Canadian Country Music Awards that just happened were in her home province.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And she got invited on stage by another mother, actually, to make her Grand Old Opry debut.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Which, if you're not in country music, that is the goal.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody wants to play the Grand Old Opry.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: So she gets to do that.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then a week later, she has a billboard in Times Square, New York City, with the Spotify Equal campaign.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: So two huge career highlights after she's become a mom.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is a very important story to share because I think the feeling is still out there that you cannot have both, that you do have to choose, and that the moment you start a family, you have chosen to not prioritize your career and it's the beginning of the end.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is a nuanced conversation because I don't want to sit here and be like, you can't have it all, because I don't think that you can.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: You are going to have to compromise, whether that's missing something at school, it's saying no to a festival, because you can't miss something at school, there are going to be things that do not align and you're going to have to make difficult choices.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: However, I do not think that that is exclusive to mothers.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think that is just a part of life, and especially in music where there is so much travel and you do miss so many things.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Just, you know, I don't know a single person who hasn't missed something, an important birthday, an anniversary, a family vacation.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody sacrifices those things because it's kind of what you have to do.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because when are people getting married?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: On the weekends in summer.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: When are festivals on the weekend in summer?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just, it is what it is.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't want to say I'm not going to be happy till mothers feel like they can have it all because I don't know if anybody feels like they can have it all.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I do just want female artists to know that if they choose to start a family, and not even artists, I don't even actually know why I said artist.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not an artist, industry professionals, that you can take a mat leave.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just I want people to hear that that is okay.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: That is normal.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: It should be celebrated, it should be encouraged.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think there are so many of these conversations that can and should be happening.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I originally wanted to make this podcast.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I am going to hit publish, even though, once again, it it scares the absolute, you know what, out of me, and get back to it because I think it is so important.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: So chat soon.