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Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset - The Mental Shift That Will Change Your Life (E) · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:21
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of Today.
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Speaker 1: So today is an Encore episode because I am going
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Speaker 1: on maternity leave. I have hand selected with my assistant Shanai.
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Speaker 1: We've hand selected episodes that we think will be like
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Speaker 1: just honestly your favorite. They're episodes that have either gotten
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Speaker 1: really bad, really really bad, really great feedback, or have
0:47
Speaker 1: been shared a lot amongst you guys, or have been
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Speaker 1: shared a lot on socials and reshared on stories, so
0:53
Speaker 1: we thought, you know, we'd bring back kind of the
0:55
Speaker 1: top favorites are the ones that resonated the most with
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Speaker 1: you guys. So I'm going on just three well, the
1:01
Speaker 1: podcast is going on three weeks of maternity leave. I
1:05
Speaker 1: am going on four months of maternity leave. But fear not, fretnot,
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Speaker 1: I have created an entire back catalog. So after these
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Speaker 1: three weeks of Encore episodes, you will be receiving your
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Speaker 1: normal dose of a Monday episode and a head Noise episode,
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Speaker 1: and also some really cool mini series scattered throughout up
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Speaker 1: until the end of the year, and then I will
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Speaker 1: come back for regular programming mid January after kind of
1:29
Speaker 1: the Christmas break. So without fucking around any further, enjoy
1:34
Speaker 1: the episode, the encore episode of Today Love you Guys
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Speaker 1: so much So in this podcast episode, we're going to
1:40
Speaker 1: be talking about growth mindset versus fixed mindset. I have
1:43
Speaker 1: referenced this a lot, I've brushed on it, and I
1:46
Speaker 1: go more in depth about it in my latest book,
1:49
Speaker 1: How to Chase Change in the audiobooks. If you've listened
1:51
Speaker 1: to my audiobook, you'll know that I definitely touched on
1:54
Speaker 1: this substantially because it is It literally frames how we
1:59
Speaker 1: arepproach any task, any challenge in our life. It frames
2:03
Speaker 1: how we approach our goals, what kind of drive we're
2:07
Speaker 1: going to have when we approach our goals, the mindset
2:11
Speaker 1: around our abilities and our capabilities. It's you know how
2:15
Speaker 1: I talk about, you know, your perception determs your reality.
2:18
Speaker 1: This is kind of a very great like psychological foundation
2:23
Speaker 1: of why that is the truth. And once you really
2:26
Speaker 1: grasp the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed
2:29
Speaker 1: mindset and more importantly, how to switch from fixed to growth,
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Speaker 1: everything can change for you. Absolutely everything can change for you.
2:38
Speaker 1: It's like night and day. Okay, you can go from
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Speaker 1: someone who feels limited, scared, who's like this is the
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Speaker 1: ceiling for me, This is it to someone who is
2:46
Speaker 1: not afraid of failure. You just approach it completely differently.
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Speaker 1: You're able to achieve so much more when you come
2:52
Speaker 1: across a challenge. The way you r mind processes a
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Speaker 1: challenge is completely different to how it used to be,
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Speaker 1: and therefore you're able to achieve so much much more
3:00
Speaker 1: with your life and with you know, like your time.
3:04
Speaker 1: It is for me, if there's one thing that you're
3:07
Speaker 1: going to focus on to really maximize your time on
3:09
Speaker 1: this earth, it is growth mindset versus fixed mindset. So
3:13
Speaker 1: hopefully I have sold it to you. If I haven't
3:16
Speaker 1: sold it to you. With that, then fucking go to bed,
3:18
Speaker 1: turn the lights off, and have a siesta, and then
3:21
Speaker 1: return to me when you're motivated or when you're pumped. Anyway,
3:25
Speaker 1: we're going to get straight into it. So basically, the
3:28
Speaker 1: concept of growth mindset and fixed mindset was developed by
3:31
Speaker 1: a psychologist. Her name is Carol Dweck. So she did
3:35
Speaker 1: a lot of research on intelligence, learning, motivation. She did
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Speaker 1: a lot of studies on children and on teenagers adolescents,
3:43
Speaker 1: and she introduced these ideas of growth mindset versus fixed
3:46
Speaker 1: mindset in her two thousand and six book which is
3:50
Speaker 1: called mindset the New Psychology of Success, but she was
3:52
Speaker 1: talking about this earlier than that as well. But that's
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Speaker 1: a book that is worth having a read if you're interested.
3:59
Speaker 1: So basically, let's talk about the difference between the two.
4:04
Speaker 1: I'm going to break it down into what that looks
4:07
Speaker 1: like in the real world as well, and I'm also
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Speaker 1: going to brush over a few of her studies as well,
4:11
Speaker 1: and then I'm going to go into how it is
4:13
Speaker 1: that you can go from a fixed mindset to a
4:16
Speaker 1: growth mindset. So a growth mindset believe. Someone with growth
4:21
Speaker 1: mindset believes that intelligence, abilities, and talents can be developed
4:27
Speaker 1: through effort. Okay. So they understand that when you're learning something,
4:32
Speaker 1: when you're persistent with something, it will cause you to
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Speaker 1: then increase your abilities, increase your intelligence, increase your talents. Okay,
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Speaker 1: So they look at it as a correlation. The harder
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Speaker 1: I work, the likelihood of me getting better at this
4:46
Speaker 1: is going to go up. Okay. They view people with
4:49
Speaker 1: the growth mindset view challenges and opportunities, sorry, view challenges
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Speaker 1: as opportunities for growth instead of an obstacle. So when
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Speaker 1: they come across a challenge, they think this must equal
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Speaker 1: me growing because once I can overcome the challenge. I'm
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Speaker 1: going to be much better off than what I was
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Speaker 1: before this. I came across this challenge. And they look
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Speaker 1: at challenges as this is my chance now to grow
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Speaker 1: into that next phase of myself. Okay. They don't look
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Speaker 1: at it as something that's scary or something that represents
5:17
Speaker 1: them not being good enough. They embrace failure as a
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Speaker 1: learning experience. So when they do fail, they it doesn't
5:23
Speaker 1: mean that they're thrilled to fail, but they're able to
5:25
Speaker 1: look at it and be like, why did I fail.
5:28
Speaker 1: I mustn't have studied hard enough. I definitely didn't study
5:31
Speaker 1: that enough. And I know I did really poorly in
5:33
Speaker 1: these things and I could have studied more on that.
5:35
Speaker 1: So they use failure as a way to kind of
5:38
Speaker 1: rehash what they've done and think, Okay, how am I
5:40
Speaker 1: going to approach this differently next time. So it's very
5:42
Speaker 1: much a tool, a very useful tool for them. They
5:45
Speaker 1: value effort and hard work over innate ability, so they
5:49
Speaker 1: instead thinking, oh, I was born this way, I'm talented.
5:52
Speaker 1: They like knowing that they are or you know when
5:55
Speaker 1: people say oh, you're gifted or whatever, it's like, no, no,
5:56
Speaker 1: it's not about being gifted. It's I've worked for this
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Speaker 1: and I've earned this, and therefore it means that anyone
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Speaker 1: could if they put in that amount of effort and
6:04
Speaker 1: time and resources into learning the same thing. They also,
6:09
Speaker 1: and lastly, they believe that feedback is useful and it
6:13
Speaker 1: helps the performance. That are shy away from feedback, they
6:16
Speaker 1: welcome feedback. They're also the kind of person that you
6:19
Speaker 1: know if they didn't do well in a job interview,
6:21
Speaker 1: They're the kind of person that will reach out and say,
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Speaker 1: would you mind giving the feedback on what it was
6:25
Speaker 1: about my application? What's lacking was it in the interview?
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Speaker 1: Like they are not scared to hear they want the feedback.
6:31
Speaker 1: They're like, I need to know the good and the
6:34
Speaker 1: bad because it's really going to help shape how I'm
6:36
Speaker 1: going to approach the next thing moving forward. So as
6:38
Speaker 1: you can imagine if someone if you you yourself are
6:41
Speaker 1: this kind of person or you know someone like this,
6:43
Speaker 1: it's a very flexible mind. It's very flexible. You're not attached,
6:48
Speaker 1: your identity isn't attached to the outcome. It's more about
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Speaker 1: the learning process and how much change you can create
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Speaker 1: for yourself within your life. How much is actually within
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Speaker 1: your control. The opposite of this is something called a
7:02
Speaker 1: fixed mindset. Okay, So people with a fixed mindset believe
7:05
Speaker 1: that intelligence abilities are static and cannot be significantly changed. Okay,
7:11
Speaker 1: so you're either born smart, you're either born an athlete,
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Speaker 1: or you're not. Okay. They avoid challenges like something that's
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Speaker 1: truly challenging due to a fear of failure because imagine,
7:25
Speaker 1: if you believe that your intelligence or your abilities have
7:29
Speaker 1: a cap, there's a cap, there's a ceiling to it,
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Speaker 1: and you're born with that. You can't really add onto that.
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Speaker 1: Then the thought of failure means that's my I've met
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Speaker 1: my my limit. I've met my limit and I can
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Speaker 1: never go further than that. So what does that mean
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Speaker 1: about me? So it's scary, and you don't want to
7:46
Speaker 1: meet that limit. So you're always going to perform just
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Speaker 1: below that limit because you don't want to be confronted
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Speaker 1: with what you believe is like, I can't ever do
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Speaker 1: better than that. And if my identity is my is
7:57
Speaker 1: the outcome and I've failed, what is that saying about myself?
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Speaker 1: They see effort as fruitless if someone is not naturally
8:06
Speaker 1: good at something, because they think if this is kind
8:09
Speaker 1: of it's either an innate ability and it can't really
8:12
Speaker 1: be changed, then why am I going to try and
8:14
Speaker 1: try and try If it's just for example, you're someone
8:17
Speaker 1: that's like, oh, my balance isn't that great. I'm not
8:19
Speaker 1: going to be good at surfing. You try surfing, you're
8:21
Speaker 1: falling over, you can't stand up. At no point can
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Speaker 1: you stand up. So you think that say told you
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Speaker 1: I'm not good at balance. I can't get up, I
8:29
Speaker 1: can't surf. It's just never going to happen. I'm not
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Speaker 1: a good surfer. So then you look at other people
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Speaker 1: going for the next lesson and the next lesson, and
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Speaker 1: you're like, why would I bother trying again when I'm
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Speaker 1: not good at it. That's kind of the mentality, whereas
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Speaker 1: someone with a growth mindset is like, oh my god,
8:45
Speaker 1: that was fine and I kind of sent me stood
8:46
Speaker 1: up and then I did it at this and maybe
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Speaker 1: oh I kind of felt a little bit more stable
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Speaker 1: when I did it this way. Maybe I need to
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Speaker 1: be forward more forward on the board next time, Maybe
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Speaker 1: I need to try. And so they're already thinking what
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Speaker 1: could this look like next time? What could I try
8:58
Speaker 1: next time? They go the next time maybe they stand
9:00
Speaker 1: up for a couple of seconds, then they go the
9:02
Speaker 1: next and before you know, this person's surfing versus the
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Speaker 1: other person. And none of them had an actual innate
9:07
Speaker 1: ability to surf, because this is one of the things
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Speaker 1: you're obviously not born with. You have to actually try.
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Speaker 1: But people with a fixed mindset, and I'm using that
9:15
Speaker 1: as an example, but this can be applied to anything,
9:18
Speaker 1: use this kind of mentality. This is very, very common
9:22
Speaker 1: when it comes to book smart or academic intelligence. You
9:26
Speaker 1: will see a lot of people being like, I'm not academic,
9:29
Speaker 1: I'm not academic. I'm just not BookSmart. That is a
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Speaker 1: form of fixed mindset because unless you can say, you know,
9:37
Speaker 1: and even when it comes down to I'm not book smart,
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Speaker 1: you can say I've given it a red hot go
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Speaker 1: it's not my thing. I don't enjoy it, I don't
9:43
Speaker 1: like studying. That's fine to be like, that's not what
9:47
Speaker 1: really lights my fire. Nothing wrong with that. But I
9:49
Speaker 1: don't believe that you can just say I'm not intelligent.
9:54
Speaker 1: You know. I just feel like if you really put
9:57
Speaker 1: your mind to it, Like, what I find really interesting
9:59
Speaker 1: is a lot of people would say to me, oh
10:01
Speaker 1: my god, you must be so smart, you must be
10:02
Speaker 1: so smart. When I was doing the Masters, and I'm like,
10:04
Speaker 1: this has nothing to do with intelligence, And I don't
10:06
Speaker 1: deem myself necessarily smarter. If anything, I look at a
10:10
Speaker 1: lot of the people around me, and I'm like, wow,
10:11
Speaker 1: if only I could, you know, especially in the degree
10:14
Speaker 1: and the people that were studying around me, I like, wow,
10:16
Speaker 1: imagine if I had their intelligence, or if I had
10:18
Speaker 1: It's not like I'm viewing myself as necessarily intelligent or
10:21
Speaker 1: not intelligent, but I was kind of looking at anyone.
10:25
Speaker 1: If you guys could do what I'm doing, if you
10:27
Speaker 1: were interested and if you wanted to dedicate the time.
10:29
Speaker 1: I don't think that what I do or what a
10:32
Speaker 1: lot of other people do, whatever, it's not really a
10:34
Speaker 1: mark of I'm born more intelligent, not at all. And
10:36
Speaker 1: also I felt like it was almost like a bit
10:39
Speaker 1: of a slap and fat. I wanted to be recognized
10:40
Speaker 1: for the amount of effort that I had put into
10:42
Speaker 1: what I did. I'm like, don't tell me I was
10:43
Speaker 1: born smart, because I absolutely was not. This is effort
10:46
Speaker 1: And I liked. I liked the acknowledgment of effort more
10:50
Speaker 1: so than the acknowledgent of me being intelligent. Okay, I
10:54
Speaker 1: preferred that. I preferred people knowing that I had to
10:57
Speaker 1: actually work hard for it, then it just came easy
10:59
Speaker 1: to me. So yeah, they say effort as fruitless, So
11:03
Speaker 1: if you're not naturally good at something, they're not gonna
11:05
Speaker 1: bother investing too much time and effort into it. They
11:08
Speaker 1: view failure as a reflection of inherent lack of ability. Okay,
11:14
Speaker 1: now I want you to really ask yourself which one
11:16
Speaker 1: of these am I? Because if you're someone who's a
11:18
Speaker 1: fixed mindset, admit it to yourself because this can change
11:22
Speaker 1: and in not that much time. Okay, But if you
11:24
Speaker 1: are someone then when you fail, you're like, I'm never
11:28
Speaker 1: doing that again. Oh my god, Oh my god, like
11:30
Speaker 1: I'm in seed. That's I'm not that smart. I thought
11:32
Speaker 1: it was smart. I'm not like ah ah. And it
11:34
Speaker 1: just really affects you when you fail at something versus
11:37
Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, like for sure, I was not as
11:40
Speaker 1: prepared as the person next to me, or like, oh
11:42
Speaker 1: for sure like and sometimes there are external factors that
11:45
Speaker 1: can affect the outcome of you know, a performance of something,
11:48
Speaker 1: or how you performed on a test or whatever. But
11:50
Speaker 1: in general, I think people with a growth mindset can
11:53
Speaker 1: look at it and be like, I know I could
11:55
Speaker 1: have studied harder. I know there was stuff I could
11:57
Speaker 1: have done that really didn't use apps everything in my
12:00
Speaker 1: tank to do this thing, versus someone who if they're like, oh,
12:05
Speaker 1: I'm pretty smart, I've studied what I need to start
12:07
Speaker 1: in pretty smar and then they fail, they're like, what
12:09
Speaker 1: is this saying about my inherent lack of ability? I
12:13
Speaker 1: am not able to do this. And then when then
12:15
Speaker 1: they're like, I can't test. I don't test well, I
12:17
Speaker 1: don't test, then they panic in a test because they've
12:19
Speaker 1: got this fixed mindset of their ability. Okay. They also
12:23
Speaker 1: tend to ignore criticism or they will take it extremely personally.
12:29
Speaker 1: Instead of using criticism as a way of improving, they'll
12:32
Speaker 1: look at it as a stab to them, as a
12:34
Speaker 1: stab to their identity. It really hurts when they receive
12:38
Speaker 1: criticism because if they've got this belief that they can't
12:42
Speaker 1: really change what they're doing, then criticism would hurt because
12:46
Speaker 1: it's like, well, I can't do anything about it. It's
12:48
Speaker 1: like when someone criticizes your appearance. There's only you can't
12:50
Speaker 1: really do much about your appearance, so it's a personal attack. So,
12:55
Speaker 1: but when someone gives criticism around performance, they perceive it
12:59
Speaker 1: in the same way as if someone was just attacking you. Okay,
13:01
Speaker 1: that's the same reaction they're going to have in their body. Now,
13:06
Speaker 1: let's look at this as far as like real world impact.
13:11
Speaker 1: So Carol Dweck this research that she's done, and she's
13:15
Speaker 1: fucking go check her out if you're interested in this topic.
13:17
Speaker 1: There's so much published work by Carol Dwek, by doctor Carroll.
13:21
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure she's the doctor. It's just amazing. She's
13:25
Speaker 1: got a great body of work. But all her research,
13:28
Speaker 1: it's been applied in education, in business, in sport, in
13:31
Speaker 1: personal development. For example, in education, she found that students
13:35
Speaker 1: with a growth mindset are way more likely to persist
13:38
Speaker 1: in difficult subjects. So they're like, I haven't done well,
13:41
Speaker 1: but I can keep going, I can keep trying. I
13:42
Speaker 1: keep trying. I'll try it this way, this way, this way,
13:44
Speaker 1: this way, this way, and because of that, they actually
13:47
Speaker 1: end up performing better than people with a fixed mindset.
13:50
Speaker 1: In the workplace, they found that employees who have a
13:52
Speaker 1: growth mindset are a lot more adaptable, and on top
13:56
Speaker 1: of that, they're also very open to feedback and can
13:58
Speaker 1: use that feedback in a pub way, so they actually
14:01
Speaker 1: get further in their careers. In relationship and personal goals.
14:05
Speaker 1: People with a growth mindset are more resilient and they're
14:08
Speaker 1: much better at overcoming setbacks within a relationship. They'll look
14:12
Speaker 1: at it as this is something that can be improved on,
14:15
Speaker 1: this is something that we can work on, this is better.
14:17
Speaker 1: Look at it as like, well, if this isn't going
14:18
Speaker 1: to work, it's not going to work. It can't get better.
14:20
Speaker 1: This is it. This is who I am. I can't
14:22
Speaker 1: change I can't. You know you better, You take me
14:24
Speaker 1: for my good, you take me for my bad, all
14:25
Speaker 1: of that, and they kind of shut off. They can't
14:27
Speaker 1: take criticism. So they really struggle in relationships and they
14:30
Speaker 1: struggle with the relationship with themselves as well. So let's
14:33
Speaker 1: look at I want to bring up two studies that
14:36
Speaker 1: Carol did that I think very very good. So one
14:39
Speaker 1: of them is it's known as the Praise Experiment. This
14:43
Speaker 1: was run in nineteen ninety eight and it was the
14:45
Speaker 1: researchers were Carol Dwak and Claudia Mula. So the objective
14:49
Speaker 1: of this study was to test how different types of
14:51
Speaker 1: praise affected children's motivation and resilience after failure. Now, this
14:56
Speaker 1: is so fascinating if you're a parent or if you
14:58
Speaker 1: work with children. Fucking this is gold. This is worth
15:03
Speaker 1: its weight in gold. Okay. So the method was so
15:06
Speaker 1: they used a study sample of around four hundred and
15:10
Speaker 1: fifth grade students and they were given a bunch of
15:13
Speaker 1: puzzles to complete. So after solving the puzzles, after the
15:16
Speaker 1: kids alsold the puzzles, they received one of two kinds
15:20
Speaker 1: of praise. So there was the fixed mindset praise, which
15:23
Speaker 1: is you're so smart. You're so smart. You're so smart.
15:27
Speaker 1: You know when you tell children, Wow, you must be
15:29
Speaker 1: so smart. You just finished this. You're so smart. So
15:31
Speaker 1: they're focusing on innate intelligence you are smart, or you
15:35
Speaker 1: must be so smart that you were able to do this.
15:37
Speaker 1: Then there was the growth mindset praise, which is, wow,
15:39
Speaker 1: you worked so hard, you worked really hard. So they're
15:42
Speaker 1: focusing on effort, they're focusing on perseverance, and they're giving
15:45
Speaker 1: them praise for their effort and for their perseverance. Okay.
15:49
Speaker 1: Then they were given a harder puzzle. So the two
15:53
Speaker 1: groups of children were given another puzzle, but the puzzle
15:56
Speaker 1: was harder, Okay, and they observed how the children responded
15:59
Speaker 1: to this hard puzzle. Children who were praised for their intelligence,
16:03
Speaker 1: so the fixed mindset form of praise, were way more
16:07
Speaker 1: likely to give up when they were faced with the
16:09
Speaker 1: harder problem because they're told you're so smart, you're so smart,
16:11
Speaker 1: and then they come across this harder problem they're like,
16:13
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not going to be able to do this.
16:15
Speaker 1: I need to just back out right. They chose easier
16:20
Speaker 1: problems in the future to maintain their smart label. Okay,
16:24
Speaker 1: So that way, like, if as long as I'm achieving
16:27
Speaker 1: and completing and winning everything, I'll just choose the things
16:30
Speaker 1: I know I'm able to complete. So that way people
16:34
Speaker 1: still call me smart and say, see, you're able to
16:36
Speaker 1: finish and complete everything you set yourself out to do.
16:38
Speaker 1: But they're strategically picking easier things. And then they also
16:41
Speaker 1: enjoyed the whole experience a whole lot less. They didn't
16:44
Speaker 1: enjoy the challenge or they're just enjoyed it less. The
16:47
Speaker 1: children that were praised for effort, the growth mindset children
16:51
Speaker 1: were a lot more likely to persist despite difficulty because
16:53
Speaker 1: they're praise for their effort. They were praised for you
16:56
Speaker 1: know how much they stuck it out in something. They're perseverance,
16:59
Speaker 1: so they're like, well, I'm I'm I can persevere, I
17:02
Speaker 1: can put in effort. I just got praise for that,
17:04
Speaker 1: and it's true, I am good at my So they
17:06
Speaker 1: stuck it out and stuck it out and working on
17:08
Speaker 1: the puzzle. Because of them being praised for effort, they
17:11
Speaker 1: chose harder problems in the future in order to continue
17:14
Speaker 1: to learn. They select harder things because they're like, I'm
17:17
Speaker 1: great at effort. And then of course, because of that
17:20
Speaker 1: and because they're not like it's not about their identity,
17:23
Speaker 1: they enjoyed themselves a whole lot more. They had more
17:25
Speaker 1: fun in the process, got more done, and learnt more. Okay,
17:30
Speaker 1: So basically, if you haven't already grasped, praising effort and
17:35
Speaker 1: strategies is what's going to foster a growth mindset, and
17:38
Speaker 1: that's what encourages persistence and sticking it out and consistency
17:42
Speaker 1: and seeing something through. Praising intelligence alone fosters a fixed mindset.
17:48
Speaker 1: So this makes children more likely to avoid challenges. So
17:51
Speaker 1: when you're working with children, and not even working with children,
17:54
Speaker 1: when you're dealing with a child, your niece, your nephew,
17:56
Speaker 1: whoever it is, remember when they do something, try to remember,
18:00
Speaker 1: praise the effort, get them excited to try things. Okay.
18:06
Speaker 1: I don't think it's necessary to tell your child, Wow,
18:10
Speaker 1: you're so smart, you're so smart, you're so intelligent, you're
18:12
Speaker 1: so smart. It's not really achieving anything. Okay. And I
18:16
Speaker 1: think it's really healthy to get children from a very
18:18
Speaker 1: young age to be process driven, to be driven for
18:22
Speaker 1: the sake of being involved and for the sake of competing,
18:25
Speaker 1: and for the sake of just you know, being part
18:28
Speaker 1: of a group and doing something and learning, not necessarily
18:31
Speaker 1: like I have to win that thing, I have to win.
18:32
Speaker 1: Because the problem with this is and this is me
18:35
Speaker 1: going on a tangent, but I have a huge issue
18:37
Speaker 1: with this idea for participation medal for every single person
18:39
Speaker 1: and no one gets the first prize, and known that's
18:41
Speaker 1: because you've taught children a fixed mindset. Okay, If you
18:45
Speaker 1: have to give everyone a fucking participation medal, it's because
18:47
Speaker 1: you're going down the fixed mindset route where you're praising
18:50
Speaker 1: them for intelligence or praising them for these innate abilities. Okay.
18:54
Speaker 1: If you can truly teach a child that we are
18:57
Speaker 1: here to learn about you, know, the journey, the effort, perseverance.
19:02
Speaker 1: Then they get more value out of the effort and
19:06
Speaker 1: the journey, and they are way more okay with seeing
19:09
Speaker 1: someone win and seeing someone lose. I think it's very
19:12
Speaker 1: healthy and natural to teach children to and this is
19:16
Speaker 1: back to by studies mind you like psychology. I've looked
19:19
Speaker 1: so much into it. I know I'm not a parent,
19:20
Speaker 1: but I think it's very healthy to allow children to
19:24
Speaker 1: experience what the real world is going to be like.
19:26
Speaker 1: There's going to be winners and loses for the rest
19:29
Speaker 1: of your life moving forward, and I think it's healthy
19:31
Speaker 1: to introduce that at a young age as long as
19:33
Speaker 1: you're fostering, of course, the growth mindset. As long as
19:37
Speaker 1: you're fostering this idea of effort is what matters. Effort
19:41
Speaker 1: is what is the most important thing. Yes, this person one,
19:44
Speaker 1: But look how much fun you had, Look at or
19:46
Speaker 1: the effort you did. Look how much better you are
19:48
Speaker 1: now than when you first started practicing how to run,
19:51
Speaker 1: or when you first started doing this. Look at the
19:53
Speaker 1: journey that you've gone on. You know, that's I think
19:57
Speaker 1: really important. Okay. The next one is it's known as
20:01
Speaker 1: the mindset and academic achievement study. This is done in
20:03
Speaker 1: two thousand and seven, but the study title is Implicit
20:07
Speaker 1: Theories of Intelligence predict achievement across an adolescent transition. So
20:10
Speaker 1: the researchers were Carol Dwek, Lisa Blackwell, and Karlie Tresnielski.
20:16
Speaker 1: I hope of pronounced that properly. The objective for this
20:19
Speaker 1: study was to determine if students mindset about intelligence predicted
20:23
Speaker 1: their academic success. So the method they got three hundred
20:28
Speaker 1: and seventy three students as they transitioned from seventh grade
20:31
Speaker 1: to eighth grade, so these kids are a bit older.
20:34
Speaker 1: They assessed their beliefs about intelligence, so they basically in
20:38
Speaker 1: an interview questionnaire format. They were able to assess what
20:43
Speaker 1: they thought about their own intelligence and kind of how
20:46
Speaker 1: they thought about their own intelligence. So they were able
20:49
Speaker 1: to put them into categories does this child have a
20:51
Speaker 1: fixed mindset versus the growth mindset? Then they tracked their
20:57
Speaker 1: math grades over two years. Okay. Results were that students
21:01
Speaker 1: that were in the category for growth mindset improved their
21:03
Speaker 1: mass grades significantly over time. They worked harder and were
21:07
Speaker 1: more resilient when facing the challenges, and students with a
21:10
Speaker 1: fixed mindset showed little to no improvements in their grades.
21:13
Speaker 1: They just maintained whatever grade they had at the start,
21:15
Speaker 1: and they were more likely to give up when facing
21:18
Speaker 1: difficult challenges. So again, the conclusion in this one is
21:21
Speaker 1: that your mindset directly affects your academic success. Your perception
21:26
Speaker 1: of your own abilities affects your academic success. Okay, And
21:31
Speaker 1: a lot of these kids in these studies, they're all
21:33
Speaker 1: starting off at the same ability in mathematics, but the
21:36
Speaker 1: ones with the growth mindset, because they're just putting themselves
21:38
Speaker 1: it's a numbers game. They're putting themselves out there more,
21:41
Speaker 1: they're more chances of learning, more chances of learning from
21:44
Speaker 1: your challenges and your failures. So then again because of
21:48
Speaker 1: that learning, that positive feedback loop, then there's more chances
21:51
Speaker 1: of succeeding moving forward. You learn more, you put yourself
21:53
Speaker 1: out there, and then you get to where you want
21:55
Speaker 1: to be. Okay, And of course another conclude is that
22:00
Speaker 1: encouraging a growth mindset in students can predict long term success.
22:05
Speaker 1: So we know that that's been proven again and again
22:08
Speaker 1: and again. So the key, key key takeaways from her research,
22:13
Speaker 1: especially with the children, is that how you praise children matters.
22:17
Speaker 1: So remember, praising effort and strategies leads to a more
22:21
Speaker 1: persistent and resilient child. Teaching children and teenagers and adults,
22:26
Speaker 1: really this is with anyone, but teaching individuals about brain
22:30
Speaker 1: plasticity really helps because when you understand that intelligence can grow,
22:37
Speaker 1: and you can grow on all these other things, and
22:39
Speaker 1: your brain is malleable and it can change and things
22:42
Speaker 1: can evolve. When you truly believe that, then your approach
22:46
Speaker 1: to learning is going to be different to someone who
22:49
Speaker 1: thinks this is fixed. Okay. Mindset predicts achievement, So when
22:53
Speaker 1: you do have the growth mindset, your achievements and your
22:57
Speaker 1: performance is better over time, and also your enjoyment of
22:59
Speaker 1: that task. Even though we're praising effort and not outcome. Ironically,
23:05
Speaker 1: the outcome is actually better for people whose effort was praised,
23:09
Speaker 1: and interventions can help. So teaching a growth mindset can
23:13
Speaker 1: actually reverse negative academic trends. So people that were always
23:17
Speaker 1: in a fixed mindset who then start learning or who
23:21
Speaker 1: start getting praised for a growth mindset and who start learning, wow,
23:23
Speaker 1: I'm really valuing everything I'm learning from a growth mindset,
23:27
Speaker 1: they start to change how they perceive their own abilities
23:29
Speaker 1: and then it's just obvious in their work and their
23:33
Speaker 1: effort and how much they stick something out. So yeah,
23:39
Speaker 1: to summarize before I get into how we're going to
23:42
Speaker 1: change these things, let's look at number one, the danger
23:46
Speaker 1: of a fixed mindset on effort. So if you believe
23:49
Speaker 1: that needing effort means that you're not naturally smart, then
23:53
Speaker 1: this is going to create a fear of looking incompetent,
23:56
Speaker 1: and think about it from your perspective. So this is
23:59
Speaker 1: not just children, this is everyone, This is adults. This
24:02
Speaker 1: happens people right now. You can look at everyone around you.
24:05
Speaker 1: You're going to be able to identify who has a
24:08
Speaker 1: fixed mindset, who has a growth mindset, and a lot
24:10
Speaker 1: of people who have either mindset they put that onto
24:14
Speaker 1: other people. They unintentionally will put that onto you. This
24:16
Speaker 1: is your strengths, These are not your strengths. You don't
24:19
Speaker 1: go down that path. So I think it's really important
24:21
Speaker 1: to be aware of. You know, how am I being
24:24
Speaker 1: spoken to by it? Maybe my parents or my teachers
24:26
Speaker 1: are the people around me based on their mindset versus
24:28
Speaker 1: my mindset. Okay, so if you think that needing to
24:32
Speaker 1: put in effort means you're not naturally smart. You're going
24:35
Speaker 1: to be scared to look incompetent. You're going to not
24:38
Speaker 1: put effort into things that you think you might fail in,
24:41
Speaker 1: and therefore you've reached your ceiling well before that ceiling
24:44
Speaker 1: actually exists. Okay. This then traps them into wanting to
24:49
Speaker 1: appear intelligent but avoiding hard work okay, because for them,
24:54
Speaker 1: hard work means that you're not innately smart. Okay, And
24:58
Speaker 1: you'll see this in a lot of people around you.
25:00
Speaker 1: You're like, Oh, that's no, no, I'm not going to
25:03
Speaker 1: do that. Oh it's just like it's not really my
25:05
Speaker 1: thing or right, I Like, they'll talk, they'll come up
25:08
Speaker 1: with reasons why they're not even going to try that
25:10
Speaker 1: thing because they've already established in their head it's not
25:14
Speaker 1: worth it for me to fail this thing because I'm
25:16
Speaker 1: not going to put myself through that reaction to failure.
25:19
Speaker 1: So in hypothetical scenarios, it also impacts your reaction to
25:22
Speaker 1: failure because when you fail at something, people with the
25:26
Speaker 1: growth mindset look at that and say, I need to
25:29
Speaker 1: use better strategies. I need to use better strategies. So,
25:33
Speaker 1: for example, in a failed relationship, someone with a growth
25:35
Speaker 1: mindset is going to kind of dissect that relationship and think,
25:39
Speaker 1: did I do anything wrong in that? And if I did,
25:41
Speaker 1: what was it? Did I communicate? Probably? What was I doing?
25:43
Speaker 1: What can I learn from this? What strategies can I
25:46
Speaker 1: use that are better than the ones that I've used
25:48
Speaker 1: the same for like a physical running race, or the
25:50
Speaker 1: same for how you approach studying for an exam. You
25:53
Speaker 1: could have been like, wow, I would only go to
25:55
Speaker 1: half my tutorials. Maybe I should go to all the
25:57
Speaker 1: tutorials and see if that makes the difference. Maybe I
25:59
Speaker 1: should dedicate you know, maybe two more extra hours on
26:02
Speaker 1: that subject, whatever the fuck it is. But you look
26:04
Speaker 1: at strategies fail, you fail at something, and then you
26:07
Speaker 1: think what strategies didn't work for me or what strategies
26:10
Speaker 1: could work for me, and then you put those strategies
26:13
Speaker 1: in place and you try again. Okay, whereas fixed mindset,
26:17
Speaker 1: they just assume that they're defeated, undefeated. You know, a
26:20
Speaker 1: relationship breaks down and they're like, this happened to me,
26:24
Speaker 1: This happened to me. They won't take ownership off it,
26:26
Speaker 1: or they won't even try and dissect it to see
26:29
Speaker 1: if they had an ownership off it. You know, they're
26:31
Speaker 1: the kind of people that if they didn't if they
26:32
Speaker 1: ran a race and nothing went well, then I was
26:35
Speaker 1: an injury, I was the weather. It's just that, oh
26:37
Speaker 1: this happened. They'll blame all these other things and then
26:40
Speaker 1: but to blame themselves means that they themselves are just
26:43
Speaker 1: not good enough at that thing sense sense. People with
26:53
Speaker 1: basically a fixed mindset are going to judge their ability
26:55
Speaker 1: based on one single failure, and people with a growth
26:58
Speaker 1: mindset don't do that. Now, it also changes your motivation obviously,
27:04
Speaker 1: based on everything we've spoke about, and interestingly, it impacts
27:08
Speaker 1: your honesty and identity. So in these studies with children
27:13
Speaker 1: and teenagers, students were asked to report their test scores
27:17
Speaker 1: quote unquote anonymously, and forty percent of the students that
27:22
Speaker 1: were praised for the intelligence lied by inflating their scores. Okay,
27:29
Speaker 1: so they basically, when they know that it's going to
27:33
Speaker 1: be anonymous, they will pretend that their scores are a
27:36
Speaker 1: lot higher because they're like, my identity is in my intelligence.
27:39
Speaker 1: People have to believe I'm intelligent, So I now feel
27:42
Speaker 1: forced to lie. And it suggests that basically their self
27:46
Speaker 1: worth is tied to their perceived abilities innate abilities or
27:49
Speaker 1: their perceived intelligence. So it makes it really difficult for
27:52
Speaker 1: them to admit their struggles, makes it really difficult for
27:55
Speaker 1: them to ask for help because that in their mind
27:57
Speaker 1: equals the world. I mustn't be smart enough, I mustn't
27:59
Speaker 1: be good enough. I'm not going to eat. And then, lastly,
28:04
Speaker 1: before I go into how we're going to change it,
28:06
Speaker 1: let's talk about the distribution of mindset and growth and
28:09
Speaker 1: fixed mindset. So about forty percent of people hold a
28:13
Speaker 1: fixed mindset, about another forty hold a growth mindset, and
28:19
Speaker 1: about twenty it's kind of undecided. It's a little bit
28:22
Speaker 1: in the middle because you can kind of sit in
28:24
Speaker 1: the middle where it's not like debilitating. I absolutely cannot fail,
28:28
Speaker 1: but you still struggle to come across. You know, you're
28:31
Speaker 1: kind of sitting in the middle. You've been you've been
28:34
Speaker 1: getting a bit of both where you are praise for
28:37
Speaker 1: your intelligence, you do really value your intelligence, but you're
28:39
Speaker 1: also able to work a bit hard. So it's kind
28:41
Speaker 1: of sitting in the middle. There. Now the moment you've
28:46
Speaker 1: all been waiting for, how do we change Okay, So
28:51
Speaker 1: developing a growth mindset, it's going to transform how you
28:54
Speaker 1: approach challenges, how you deal with setbacks, how you overcome setbacks,
28:59
Speaker 1: how you learn something difficult in every area of your life.
29:02
Speaker 1: And you know, I think for absolutely everyone, the amount
29:07
Speaker 1: of people that right now is sitting listening being like
29:10
Speaker 1: I wish I could study this, but I'm just not smart.
29:12
Speaker 1: This is how you're going to change your mindset. Because
29:14
Speaker 1: you can achieve anything you put your mind to, even
29:17
Speaker 1: if it means multiple failures in order to get there.
29:19
Speaker 1: This is the problem. I think a lot of people think, oh, yeah,
29:22
Speaker 1: you can achieve anything you put your mind to. And
29:23
Speaker 1: I tried to put my mind to this and then
29:25
Speaker 1: I failed. But what did you do once you failed?
29:27
Speaker 1: That's the question. It's not about I don't want to fail.
29:30
Speaker 1: It's what do I do when I failed? Because if
29:32
Speaker 1: you fail and you're like, oh, not for me, I'm
29:34
Speaker 1: fucking out of here, then of course you're never going
29:37
Speaker 1: to achieve that thing. Then of course that's going to
29:38
Speaker 1: be a self fulfilling prophecy of like, oh this is bullshit,
29:40
Speaker 1: it's not true. Whatever you put your mind to you
29:42
Speaker 1: can't do versus someone else. It's like, Wow, I failed.
29:44
Speaker 1: Wow I realized I have to study so much more.
29:47
Speaker 1: I've got to do so much more. I've got to
29:48
Speaker 1: speak to so many more people. I was not prepared.
29:51
Speaker 1: One of the best things you can learn is when
29:53
Speaker 1: you're not prepared and then you think, how can I
29:56
Speaker 1: be better prepared? Okay, So number one, I want you
30:00
Speaker 1: to really learn to embrace and more importantly, I want
30:07
Speaker 1: your task for yourself this year to seek out challenges
30:12
Speaker 1: that you think might prove what your limitations are going
30:15
Speaker 1: to be, or you think might where you're going to
30:17
Speaker 1: be faced with your limitations. I want you to make
30:19
Speaker 1: friends with your limitations, don't avoid them. I want you
30:23
Speaker 1: to get to that point where you are like, I'm
30:25
Speaker 1: trying to find my limit so that way I can
30:28
Speaker 1: learn how I'm going to push past it next time. Okay,
30:31
Speaker 1: So if you avoid your limitations, then you're going to
30:34
Speaker 1: avoid anything that's going to put you in a position
30:36
Speaker 1: of vulnerability or in a position where you could potentially grow.
30:39
Speaker 1: So then it's going to make you more stagnant and
30:41
Speaker 1: likely fearful. So, for example, I'll give an example. When
30:44
Speaker 1: I used to teach parlarates, I used to there was
30:47
Speaker 1: always two again, growth versus fixed. There was two groups
30:50
Speaker 1: of people. I'd always ask, does anyone have any injuries,
30:52
Speaker 1: anything at all, anything, whatever, and people would obviously tell
30:57
Speaker 1: me what their injuries or conditions or whatever were. We'd
30:59
Speaker 1: start the class and I'd love teaching a difficult class.
31:02
Speaker 1: I love to make it a challenge, and I would
31:03
Speaker 1: do it on purpose because I wanted I wanted everyone
31:06
Speaker 1: to get a lot out of it. And I would say,
31:08
Speaker 1: you know, you're welcome to take a rest. Whenever you
31:09
Speaker 1: take a rest, you're welcome whatever. And there's the group
31:13
Speaker 1: of people that would literally be doing something trembling, trembling,
31:16
Speaker 1: and then they would fail out of it, and I
31:17
Speaker 1: would see their faces and they'd be like, there'd be
31:20
Speaker 1: this huge smile, They're shaking their head like fuck, this
31:22
Speaker 1: is so hard, and then they just go straight back
31:24
Speaker 1: into it again. They'll be like, I'm fucking I'm taking
31:27
Speaker 1: a breather, I'm doing it again. I'm going to get
31:29
Speaker 1: I'm doing it as close to the end as possible.
31:31
Speaker 1: Then there was the people that would do something and
31:33
Speaker 1: get difficult, and then they'd like sit right up and
31:36
Speaker 1: then like start rubbing their shoulder or whatever, and I'd
31:38
Speaker 1: go up and say, oh, okay, They're like, well, I've
31:39
Speaker 1: just got this old shoulder injury. And I'm like, no,
31:42
Speaker 1: you don't con't because I asked if everyone's fine. I
31:45
Speaker 1: asked if there's everything you you know, you've come into
31:48
Speaker 1: my class several times you're just saying that because you've
31:51
Speaker 1: got a fixed mindset, you've come across something that's more
31:52
Speaker 1: challenging than you thought you could. And instead of being like,
31:55
Speaker 1: I've met my fucking limit, I'm making friends with my limitations.
31:58
Speaker 1: It is what it is, you're instead looking at it
32:00
Speaker 1: as no, fuck this, this is there's a reason why
32:03
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it, or there's this, and so you
32:04
Speaker 1: come across this like and then they kind of go blank.
32:07
Speaker 1: They're kind of annoyed at me because I was kind
32:11
Speaker 1: of that representation of that's your limit, okay. And I
32:15
Speaker 1: remember when I do classes, I fail all the fucking
32:17
Speaker 1: timing classes, but I always would every time i'd laugh
32:20
Speaker 1: i'd fail, i would laugh, I'd make myself laugh, and
32:23
Speaker 1: I'll be like, I've met I've met my fucking match.
32:25
Speaker 1: I've met my limit in this exercise. Now, this is
32:28
Speaker 1: what I know I have to push past and next time,
32:29
Speaker 1: and this is where I know where I want to
32:31
Speaker 1: be increasing my strength in this thing or my endurance
32:33
Speaker 1: or whatever. So you look at it as like a
32:34
Speaker 1: fun challenge. So that's a small example of how you
32:37
Speaker 1: can apply that to physical tasks, difficult physical tasks that
32:41
Speaker 1: you can push through and you can notice improvement. It
32:43
Speaker 1: becomes really fun, it becomes a game. So one it
32:46
Speaker 1: could be from a fun game to something that represents
32:49
Speaker 1: I'm a failure. So you've got to pick which path
32:51
Speaker 1: you've got to go down, and the best way to
32:52
Speaker 1: learn that is to embrace and seek out challenges. Seek
32:56
Speaker 1: out challenges that will let you know where you're sealing
32:58
Speaker 1: of ability current stands, not where it's fixed, where it
33:02
Speaker 1: currently stands, and what you can do to push past it. Okay,
33:05
Speaker 1: So the same thing goes for people that want to
33:08
Speaker 1: start podcasting or want to start, you know, doing a
33:12
Speaker 1: YouTube channel or of videos. Basically they are so terrified
33:16
Speaker 1: to post that first video because they're like, if this
33:19
Speaker 1: doesn't do well, I'm a fuck wit. I'm a fuck
33:22
Speaker 1: wit because here's this me being vulnerable, putting myself out
33:26
Speaker 1: there and it's got like three likes and no one. Ah.
33:28
Speaker 1: So with a fixed mindset, it's almost like not necessarily perfectionism.
33:33
Speaker 1: It's not that you're trying to make it perfect. You're
33:34
Speaker 1: just like, if this doesn't do well, what's that saying
33:36
Speaker 1: about my abilities? And then it's going to really impact
33:38
Speaker 1: my self esteem, my identity. I just absolutely can't do it.
33:42
Speaker 1: Versus growth mindset, you think I have to put this
33:44
Speaker 1: video out, I'm gonna have to start slanging some fucking
33:47
Speaker 1: drag and so then I can start getting better content
33:49
Speaker 1: and more consistent and I can start reaching my audience.
33:51
Speaker 1: It's almost like when you got the growth mindset, it's
33:53
Speaker 1: almost like you're like, I expect rubbish at the beginning.
33:58
Speaker 1: I'm expecting it, and when you expect it, then when
34:02
Speaker 1: it is shit, you're like, well, I expected this. It's fine.
34:05
Speaker 1: I know. I know that I have to go through
34:07
Speaker 1: this in order for it to be better. I'm aware
34:09
Speaker 1: of that. If I have to be good at everything
34:11
Speaker 1: I set out to do, then there's only going to
34:13
Speaker 1: it's going to limit my pool the things that I
34:15
Speaker 1: can actually do with my life, because for almost everything else,
34:18
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to be shit at it. In
34:20
Speaker 1: order to be better, you have to embrace and seek
34:23
Speaker 1: out your ceiling, your limit, your challenges. Expect it to
34:28
Speaker 1: be shit. In a in a funny way being like,
34:30
Speaker 1: oh like cringe count crunch, just upload it's good enough
34:34
Speaker 1: to put up. Just I've got to be happy enough
34:36
Speaker 1: with it. I'm going to upload it and just grin
34:40
Speaker 1: and bear it. And if I'm trying to get better, okay,
34:42
Speaker 1: I won't read the comments or I want whatever, like
34:44
Speaker 1: it's fine, but just get the fucking work out there.
34:47
Speaker 1: And then I start getting the ball rolling. I feel
34:49
Speaker 1: more comfortable, I feel morel and then I'm able to,
34:52
Speaker 1: you know, feel very confident in my work and it shows.
34:56
Speaker 1: Now I want you to also say instead of saying
35:00
Speaker 1: I'm not good at this, this is still in part
35:03
Speaker 1: one like zero point to one, which is embrace and
35:06
Speaker 1: seek out challenges. Instead of saying I'm not good at this,
35:10
Speaker 1: I want you to learn how to say I'm learning this.
35:13
Speaker 1: I am learning this because there's no ceiling to knowledge none.
35:20
Speaker 1: The biggest thing I want you to value in your
35:22
Speaker 1: life is your acquisition of knowledge. So if you are
35:26
Speaker 1: always telling yourself I am learning, then you are saying
35:29
Speaker 1: I am acquiring knowledge. I'm acquiring what I need to
35:33
Speaker 1: be acquiring. And the way you approach that mentally and
35:36
Speaker 1: emotionally is so much kinder. It's so much more exciting.
35:39
Speaker 1: It's so much better, and it's just a simple change
35:42
Speaker 1: in your phrase. You do not know more. Are you
35:44
Speaker 1: going to say I'm not good at this unless you
35:46
Speaker 1: don't care about not being good at it. If you're like, oh,
35:48
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck that I'm not good at basketball,
35:50
Speaker 1: then fine, say I'm not good at basketball. That's fine.
35:52
Speaker 1: But in general, if it's something that you would like,
35:55
Speaker 1: like I'm not good at languages, I wish I could
35:56
Speaker 1: learn a language, I'm not to say i'm learning. I'm learning.
35:59
Speaker 1: I'm learning at my own pace, but I'm learning a language, okay,
36:02
Speaker 1: and I will improve. So number two I want you
36:07
Speaker 1: to and this is similar to the first one but
36:08
Speaker 1: slightly different. I want you to aim to fail every
36:12
Speaker 1: so often, like the goal is to fail, because I
36:14
Speaker 1: want you to get used to it. I want you
36:16
Speaker 1: to get used to failing. Now. Ideally, maybe I don't
36:19
Speaker 1: set that goal to fail a subject at university because
36:22
Speaker 1: that's fucking expensive to do that, and you're gonna fucking
36:24
Speaker 1: set the thing again. But what are things that you
36:25
Speaker 1: can fail in that make you be like, Okay, that
36:31
Speaker 1: failure has not meant that I can never try this again,
36:35
Speaker 1: that I can never get better at this again. Okay.
36:37
Speaker 1: So I had set myself a challenge of running ten
36:39
Speaker 1: ks in under fifty minutes, and to this day, I
36:41
Speaker 1: have not done that. Right. Does that mean that it's
36:44
Speaker 1: never gonna happen for me? No? Does. And also, and
36:47
Speaker 1: I'm well aware of why it hasn't happened, is because
36:49
Speaker 1: I've been inconsistent as fuck with my running training. I'm
36:52
Speaker 1: so inconsistent, and it's a fact. Am I a good runner? Yes,
36:55
Speaker 1: I can run twenty two kilometers and good or whatever
36:59
Speaker 1: call a good I don't care whatever you want to
37:00
Speaker 1: label it. Many people wouldn't consider me a good run.
37:02
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. Do I think I can run, Yes,
37:04
Speaker 1: I can fucking run. Do I think I could run
37:06
Speaker 1: fast at Yes? But have I still not cracked that goal?
37:10
Speaker 1: I have not cracked that goal, and it has not
37:13
Speaker 1: affected me because I'm like, I know that the strategies
37:18
Speaker 1: are not the best they could be, and I need
37:19
Speaker 1: to implement better strategies in order to achieve that goal.
37:22
Speaker 1: And I'm okay with that. Then I'm okay with with
37:24
Speaker 1: putting those strategies in place and working harder for it. So,
37:28
Speaker 1: but it's something that I've failed at I've set it
37:30
Speaker 1: and I've gone for that run and I've just not
37:31
Speaker 1: cracked it. And it's humbling in a good way. So
37:36
Speaker 1: what are things that you can set out to do
37:37
Speaker 1: where you are going to fail? Okay, what is your
37:41
Speaker 1: limit at the gym? How good are you at cooking?
37:44
Speaker 1: How good are you at whatever task you set yourself
37:47
Speaker 1: out to do? Because only when you fail at something,
37:50
Speaker 1: Only when you fail at something are you able to
37:53
Speaker 1: learn what went right and what went wrong for you.
37:57
Speaker 1: If you are always winning, winning, winning, winning, you are
38:00
Speaker 1: never faced with what is my actual winning strategy because
38:03
Speaker 1: I've never I've never known what's not gone right. I've
38:07
Speaker 1: never known what's actually failed. So that's where people actually
38:10
Speaker 1: get imposter syndrome. People that always do well, well well, well, well,
38:14
Speaker 1: well well, they get imposter syndrome because they're like, I'm here,
38:17
Speaker 1: how did I get here? And they're a bit like
38:19
Speaker 1: oh should I be here? Should I not? If you fail, win, fail,
38:22
Speaker 1: succeeds at back and then you get some somewhere, I
38:25
Speaker 1: can tell you don't have impost syndrome. You're like, fucking
38:27
Speaker 1: work my ass off to be here. I know what
38:30
Speaker 1: it takes. To get here. I know what it takes
38:32
Speaker 1: to fail along the way to get here. I know
38:33
Speaker 1: the strategies that work. I know the strategies that don't work.
38:36
Speaker 1: I'm no fucking imposta. I got here through fucking hard work, merit, failure,
38:41
Speaker 1: trial and effort. So there's no impost bullshit going on
38:45
Speaker 1: right now. I am here through all of these things.
38:49
Speaker 1: But yeah, if you seamlessly arrive somewhere, sometimes it does
38:52
Speaker 1: feel like a bit of imposter because you're like, I
38:53
Speaker 1: don't know how the fuck I got here. I don't
38:56
Speaker 1: really I'm not quite sure right, And that's scary. Not
38:59
Speaker 1: that it's wrong. Congratulations for getting there with no like stumbles,
39:03
Speaker 1: but it's where you're less likely to be confident in
39:06
Speaker 1: your abilities. I think people think that failing will put
39:09
Speaker 1: a blow on your abilities, but I think it actually
39:11
Speaker 1: strengthens your confidence in your abilities because now you've got
39:13
Speaker 1: a clear idea of strategies. Okay, when you fail, obviously
39:20
Speaker 1: you're able to analyze what went wrong what you can improve,
39:23
Speaker 1: rather than seeing it as like proof of your incompetence.
39:25
Speaker 1: So every time you do fail from now on, you're
39:27
Speaker 1: going to ask yourself what went wrong and what can
39:29
Speaker 1: I improve? Don't be like I'm incompetent. I'm incompetent because
39:33
Speaker 1: you're wasting your time. You've got one fucking life on
39:35
Speaker 1: this earth. Don't waste your time. And then ask yourself
39:40
Speaker 1: what can I learn from this? Instead of why did
39:42
Speaker 1: I fail? You say what can I learn? All Right?
39:45
Speaker 1: There's a million things that you can learn. And if
39:47
Speaker 1: you can keep a growth journal, if you are an
39:51
Speaker 1: owner of the brain Journal, my brain journal, there is
39:54
Speaker 1: something for growth every single day, growth, connection and purpose
39:57
Speaker 1: every single day you are feeling that out. So this
39:59
Speaker 1: is where you can keep your growth journal. Okay. Number three,
40:04
Speaker 1: I want you to make learning the goal and have
40:07
Speaker 1: more things that you do that focus on the journey
40:10
Speaker 1: and not the end goal, or at least have a
40:12
Speaker 1: mix of those things. Okay. So things where you're focusing
40:16
Speaker 1: on the journey is reading books. That's a prime example
40:19
Speaker 1: where you're reading a book. You don't read a book
40:21
Speaker 1: to get to the end. You read a book because
40:23
Speaker 1: you're enjoying the journey of the book obviously, Okay, Taking
40:28
Speaker 1: courses that you're actually interested in, the kind of course
40:31
Speaker 1: that you don't want to end, Like there were certain
40:33
Speaker 1: courses at UNI that I'm like, this is not a journey.
40:37
Speaker 1: This is a fuck, and I've got to get to
40:39
Speaker 1: the end. This is so painful. Then there are other
40:41
Speaker 1: courses that I'm like, I'll be so sad when this
40:43
Speaker 1: course ends because I'm living for this everything about it.
40:48
Speaker 1: I loved certain courses, right, So you want to take
40:51
Speaker 1: courses that you enjoy that you don't want to end,
40:54
Speaker 1: and then it proves to you that effort can be
40:56
Speaker 1: about the journey. A great one to join a gym
41:01
Speaker 1: or crossfits great for this because CrossFit has a great
41:03
Speaker 1: community where you realize this is about the journey. It's
41:06
Speaker 1: about my strength, journey or whatever. And I'm having such
41:09
Speaker 1: a good time and I actually don't have to have
41:11
Speaker 1: I can have all these goals that I want to
41:12
Speaker 1: hit along the way, but I'm not hell bend. It
41:15
Speaker 1: has to be in six months. It has to be
41:16
Speaker 1: in again. You're there for the journey. And you realize
41:19
Speaker 1: rocking up, having that routine, having your community, the people
41:22
Speaker 1: that you know push you and inspire you and you
41:24
Speaker 1: can laugh together, that's for the journey. Okay, So find
41:27
Speaker 1: things that you can have a goal where the goal
41:31
Speaker 1: is the journey, right, that is going to make you
41:34
Speaker 1: more effort focused and not outcome focused. And it's a great,
41:38
Speaker 1: great place to be in because you start to enjoy
41:41
Speaker 1: yourself a thousand times working guarantee, if you are effort
41:44
Speaker 1: focused and not journey focused, your enjoyment out of life
41:47
Speaker 1: will be it will skyrocket. That is a fucking guarantee guarantee. Okay.
41:53
Speaker 1: Then also watch, you know, like expand your perspective on
41:57
Speaker 1: things as well, like watch Ted talks, listen to obviously
41:59
Speaker 1: you're listening to my podcasts. Have fucking well done, Love
42:01
Speaker 1: you so much, Attend workshops, expand your perspective on things. Right.
42:06
Speaker 1: Then of course, speak to people in your circle, in
42:10
Speaker 1: your network that you know have a growth mindset and
42:14
Speaker 1: ask them questions about their failures and their goals. And
42:16
Speaker 1: when you ask someone who has a growth mindset about
42:19
Speaker 1: their failures, it's so refreshing to hear them talk about
42:23
Speaker 1: how they approach their failures and how they look at
42:25
Speaker 1: their failures. It's not this like, oh, mortified, I'm mortified.
42:28
Speaker 1: They look at it with kind eyes. They look at
42:30
Speaker 1: it as like and then this happened and it didn't
42:31
Speaker 1: do well, But they're not embarrassed. They're not mortified. And
42:35
Speaker 1: they're able to talk about how it actually shaped where
42:37
Speaker 1: they are now. Right, So really speak to people, speak
42:41
Speaker 1: to your mental speak to people around you who have
42:43
Speaker 1: a growth mindset, and it's actually quite refreshing. Number four.
42:47
Speaker 1: Start using the word yet a lot more in your vocabulary.
42:51
Speaker 1: So if you say I can't do this, then swap
42:54
Speaker 1: it out for I can't do this yet, I can't
42:57
Speaker 1: speak French yet, I can't run ten kilometers under fifty
43:03
Speaker 1: minutes yet. Okay, And it feels good saying that because
43:08
Speaker 1: the moment you put the yet, it says I'm on
43:10
Speaker 1: a fucking journey. I'm on a fucking journey and it
43:13
Speaker 1: will happen at some point if I'm if I want
43:15
Speaker 1: it to, but I'm on that journey. Number five. This
43:19
Speaker 1: is so much harder than it sounds for people that
43:22
Speaker 1: are not used to this, but seek out constructive feedback,
43:27
Speaker 1: so then it becomes easier to accept it when you're
43:29
Speaker 1: not seeking it out. Okay. So this is where you
43:33
Speaker 1: actually have to ask people and say, I'm doing this thing,
43:36
Speaker 1: like I'm doing this journey of self growth. I need
43:39
Speaker 1: to start and you can say this to your friends
43:41
Speaker 1: and your family. I need to start seeking out constructive feedback.
43:45
Speaker 1: So I want you, you know, like, let's say you
43:47
Speaker 1: start that CrossFit thing. You say, I want constructive feedback.
43:50
Speaker 1: Tell Tell, tell the PT, tell the colatch. I want
43:52
Speaker 1: constructive feedback. Seek it out at the end of every class.
43:56
Speaker 1: How do you think I went on that? What do
43:57
Speaker 1: you think I could like see? Ask ask us ussels.
44:00
Speaker 1: At the start, it's like, ha, you're telling me what
44:02
Speaker 1: I'm doing wrong. It feels confronting, but then it starts
44:06
Speaker 1: getting easier and easier and easier, and then you're excited
44:10
Speaker 1: for it because you realize, wait a minute, every time
44:11
Speaker 1: I got feedback, Okay, sometimes I don't agree, which is fine.
44:14
Speaker 1: You don't have to agree every time. But a lot
44:16
Speaker 1: of the times I got over the fact that it
44:19
Speaker 1: was like, oh God, didn't look that hurt. But then
44:22
Speaker 1: I put it into practice and it worked. Now you're
44:24
Speaker 1: hungry for it. Now you're like, I'm gonna and of
44:26
Speaker 1: course you know me, I've spoken about this a thousand times.
44:29
Speaker 1: You have to ask for feedback from the right sources.
44:33
Speaker 1: Don't ask for people's opinion when they're not qualified to
44:35
Speaker 1: give you your opinion. Obviously this is huge, But if
44:38
Speaker 1: it's like your coach, if it's a mentor, if it's
44:40
Speaker 1: someone who's done a similar thing. Say your friend's a
44:43
Speaker 1: writer and you want to start writing, and you respect
44:45
Speaker 1: their writing, and you can be like, give me feedback
44:47
Speaker 1: on this. I want feedback. Some we're so scared to
44:50
Speaker 1: share our work because we're so scared of negative feedback.
44:53
Speaker 1: But instead of negatives, say this is constructive. You might
44:57
Speaker 1: say something that I genuinely don't agree with because I've
44:59
Speaker 1: got a different style, but you might say something that
45:01
Speaker 1: will strike a chord and put everything clicks and all
45:03
Speaker 1: the pieces clicked together, and I think, yes, yes, thank
45:06
Speaker 1: you for that feedback. That makes sense. Okay, so you
45:08
Speaker 1: have to seek it out. Seek it out at least
45:11
Speaker 1: once a week, if not twice a week. That's your
45:13
Speaker 1: challenge for the rest of the year. Seek out constructive feedback.
45:17
Speaker 1: If you have a good relationship with your boss. If
45:18
Speaker 1: your boss is an an asshole, ask them for constructive feedback. Okay,
45:23
Speaker 1: it's very good. And then when you get it unsolicited,
45:27
Speaker 1: then it's like, yeah, I'm used to this shit. I
45:28
Speaker 1: love this shit. Fucking you know, come at me. I
45:31
Speaker 1: remember when people would give you feedback on my podcast
45:34
Speaker 1: at the beginning and because it was so like vulnerable
45:36
Speaker 1: to put it out and be like ha, and I'd
45:39
Speaker 1: like overthink it. And now when I get it, sometimes
45:41
Speaker 1: the feedback's like I don't give a fuck. I'm like, nah,
45:44
Speaker 1: that doesn't align like people like I don't like odds.
45:46
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, that's how this podcast exists. So I
45:48
Speaker 1: don't have to take that feedback on board. But then
45:50
Speaker 1: other people will say, like, I got this feedback once
45:52
Speaker 1: that I go when I'm interviewing someone and someone's like,
45:56
Speaker 1: you go too much in the microphone, and I'm like, yeah,
46:00
Speaker 1: you're right, I do. I'll take that feedback on I'd
46:02
Speaker 1: be more aware and I'll try not to when the
46:04
Speaker 1: other person's talking because I just get so involved in
46:06
Speaker 1: what they're saying and I don't realize. So that's good feedback.
46:09
Speaker 1: It's something that they didn't like that I was doing,
46:12
Speaker 1: but it's true and it's good feedback, right, So you
46:15
Speaker 1: take that shit on board. And then number six, wait,
46:19
Speaker 1: there's two more. Number six is celebrate effort more than
46:23
Speaker 1: your results. So this is like, where is it possible
46:26
Speaker 1: for you to really lean into the effort of doing
46:29
Speaker 1: something you know instead of always checking like maybe you
46:32
Speaker 1: put together a really nice video and then you upload
46:34
Speaker 1: it and then all you're doing is refreshing, refreshing. How
46:36
Speaker 1: many likes did I get? How many that's you trying
46:38
Speaker 1: to celebrate their end result. Your marker of something's good
46:43
Speaker 1: enough is how many likes you get. And I remember
46:46
Speaker 1: I used to get into that trap, maybe like four
46:48
Speaker 1: when I kind of started the podcast and the Instagram
46:50
Speaker 1: was starting to grow. I would get into that trap
46:52
Speaker 1: of looking at how successful the posts were and the podcast.
46:56
Speaker 1: Whereas now when I upload something, I often won't even
46:59
Speaker 1: look at it for a other twelve hours because I'm like,
47:01
Speaker 1: I really like what I uploaded. That was a really
47:03
Speaker 1: nice thing. Next, you know, so I celebrated the effort,
47:07
Speaker 1: and then I don't really look at it. And by
47:08
Speaker 1: the time I do look at the numbers, so much
47:11
Speaker 1: time has passed that it doesn't affect me whether the
47:13
Speaker 1: numbers are good or bad. So that's one thing that
47:16
Speaker 1: you can do where you start to look at how
47:18
Speaker 1: can I celebrate effort? How can I go in and
47:21
Speaker 1: make this work out all about the effort, Even if
47:24
Speaker 1: I know I did a better effort last week, I
47:27
Speaker 1: can you know I'm not going to look at the
47:29
Speaker 1: fact that my numbers were better last week. I'm just
47:31
Speaker 1: really celebrating the fact that I came. I showed up.
47:33
Speaker 1: If fucking did the thing, that's awesome, right, So praise
47:40
Speaker 1: yourself for hard work and persistence, not just success. So
47:43
Speaker 1: there are many examples right now where you can praise
47:44
Speaker 1: yourself for hard work and persistence where there was no
47:46
Speaker 1: marker of quote unquote success. Okay. You know, instead of
47:52
Speaker 1: saying to yourself, you know about your intelligence, you can
47:54
Speaker 1: say I worked really hard on that, I worked really
47:57
Speaker 1: hard on this, I worked really hard on that. You know,
47:59
Speaker 1: look at what do you value the most? When I
48:01
Speaker 1: look back at the things where I worked hard on,
48:03
Speaker 1: I actually value the fact that I had to work
48:05
Speaker 1: hard on that thing. I like that I had to
48:08
Speaker 1: work hard and that yes, I got a result out
48:11
Speaker 1: of it. But the thing that brings me the most
48:13
Speaker 1: joy is the effort. I like earning that thing felt good.
48:17
Speaker 1: You know, enjoy the small winds because the small winds
48:21
Speaker 1: are in the journey. It's not this one big win
48:24
Speaker 1: hanging over your head. And then number seven, remember that
48:28
Speaker 1: setbacks don't define you, but your response to your setbacks
48:34
Speaker 1: does define you. Okay, Because you could have a thousand.
48:38
Speaker 1: The person you admire the most, your biggest the person
48:41
Speaker 1: who's up there on a pedestal for you of how
48:43
Speaker 1: you want to be. They could have had ten thousand
48:46
Speaker 1: more setbacks than you. But look at where they are
48:49
Speaker 1: and how you value where they're at in their life.
48:51
Speaker 1: It's because their setbacks didn't define them. How they approach
48:54
Speaker 1: to their setbacks defined them. So it's how resilient am I,
48:59
Speaker 1: how often or how many times am I willing to
49:02
Speaker 1: pick myself up and brush myself off? And this is
49:05
Speaker 1: extremely different to knowing when to quit when you don't
49:07
Speaker 1: like something and it's not working for you. I've got
49:09
Speaker 1: a whole episode on that, and I think it's called
49:11
Speaker 1: knowing when to quit. But this is I want to
49:14
Speaker 1: get better at this. I'd like to keep going at this,
49:17
Speaker 1: So I could have a thousand setbacks. But as long
49:19
Speaker 1: as I'm focusing on the journey and enjoying the journey
49:21
Speaker 1: and the process and the effort, then I could be
49:23
Speaker 1: doing this indefinitely without focusing on, you know, the setback,
49:28
Speaker 1: and this I am now a failure and I can't
49:30
Speaker 1: reach a setback again because it means that I'm actually
49:32
Speaker 1: innately not smart or innately not good enough. All right,
49:36
Speaker 1: I want you to visualize long term success and what
49:42
Speaker 1: long term success looks like, rather than focusing on these
49:45
Speaker 1: short term struggles that you think, oh, that's like, that's
49:48
Speaker 1: a roadblock. I can't do that. That's a roadblock I
49:50
Speaker 1: can't because if you focus on the roadblocks and you
49:53
Speaker 1: focus on these setbacks, you're likely with if you've got
49:56
Speaker 1: to fix my mindset, you're likely to not like you stop
49:58
Speaker 1: and then you're not going to go through with it.
50:01
Speaker 1: But if you're someone who's going to look at that
50:03
Speaker 1: and be like, Okay, but I'm looking at the bigger picture,
50:06
Speaker 1: and I'm looking at you know, like, over the next
50:08
Speaker 1: ten years, is this tiny setback going to matter? What
50:10
Speaker 1: if I kept going at a slower pace, or you know,
50:13
Speaker 1: even if I had to go back and revise and
50:15
Speaker 1: go what could this look like in ten years if
50:17
Speaker 1: I kept this up, what could it look like? You know?
50:19
Speaker 1: So I want you to focus more on the long term.
50:21
Speaker 1: Don't underestimate what you are able to do in a year,
50:24
Speaker 1: or in five years or in ten years. We and
50:27
Speaker 1: Tony Robin says this, but something along the lines of,
50:29
Speaker 1: like you overestimate what you can do in a year,
50:31
Speaker 1: but you underestimate what you can do in ten. So like,
50:35
Speaker 1: don't be too help bent on the timeline, because that's
50:37
Speaker 1: when you're going to think, oh, I'm a family, I'm
50:39
Speaker 1: not going to do it, and then you throw it
50:40
Speaker 1: in the bin. Instead, think if I'm persistent even through
50:45
Speaker 1: the setbacks, what could this look like in five years
50:47
Speaker 1: or in ten years time? Guys, that is the podcast
50:50
Speaker 1: episode of today. One of my favorite topics. Evan, I
50:52
Speaker 1: can't believe I haven't ever done a fully fledged episode
50:55
Speaker 1: on growth mindset versus fixed mindset. I think this episode
50:59
Speaker 1: everything that you take on and if you continue to
51:01
Speaker 1: do further reading on Carol Dweck and her studies, it
51:05
Speaker 1: will change your life. I'm telling you, it can change
51:07
Speaker 1: your life if you're someone who's got a fixed mindset.
51:09
Speaker 1: This is like game change of behavior. So I'm very
51:12
Speaker 1: pumped for you. Anyway, that is all for today. I
51:15
Speaker 1: hope you enjoyed today's episode. Please, for the sake of
51:18
Speaker 1: the podcast, please like and share the podcast as well.
51:23
Speaker 1: It does it really really helps me out. It helps
51:25
Speaker 1: my podcast out. It's thanks to you, guys that the
51:28
Speaker 1: podcast has grown the way it's grown, and we just
51:29
Speaker 1: want to keep growing it and reaching bigger audiences and
51:33
Speaker 1: growing our little bean community. So thank you so much.
51:36
Speaker 1: Like share, review, fas styles obviously, and that is all.
51:40
Speaker 1: As always remember be kind to yourself, be kind to
51:42
Speaker 1: your brain, don't text it from anyone, and especially don't
51:45
Speaker 1: text it from yourself. Don't it sense