Latest / Chuck Douglas / Are parents responsible for kids behavior and your calls

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Are parents responsible for kids behavior and your calls · Chuck Douglas

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  Speaker 1: We're about twenty three minutes await in the top of
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  Speaker 1: the hour, Chuck Dougles in for the Power Hour on
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  Speaker 1: six to ten WTV and coming up another local story.
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  Speaker 1: I've got a tough question, but I have to ask it,
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  Speaker 1: you know how I am. I'm just I'm realistic, and
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  Speaker 1: I try not to be obnoxious about it, but there
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  Speaker 1: are things that have to be asked or said, and
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  Speaker 1: that's what I do. A two one, ninety eighty six
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  Speaker 1: month number A two one WTV And talking about the
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  Speaker 1: DC situation right now, the fact that apparently there is
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  Speaker 1: some speculation Fox News had earlier that they're looking at
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  Speaker 1: the potential of charging the parents for this group of
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  Speaker 1: teens that you know, Tor Chipotle all the hell down there,
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  Speaker 1: had a big fight in there, and there's some talk
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  Speaker 1: of holding parents responsible, which I just I think that's
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  Speaker 1: off the mark of reality.
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  Speaker 2: I really do.
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  Speaker 1: At that age fourteen, fifteen, sixteen years old, these these
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  Speaker 1: kids know exactly what they're doing. They need to pay
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  Speaker 1: a price for their actions. They need to do it.
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  Speaker 1: Unless you can see the show that the parents were
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  Speaker 1: complicit or or collaborative in some way or did not
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  Speaker 1: do their duty as parents in which case, Okay, we
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  Speaker 1: can have the conversation A two one ninety eight six Brad,
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  Speaker 1: you're on six ten double UTV and Hi you any bread.
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  Speaker 1: I don't think Brad's with me, all right. I tried
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  Speaker 1: a two and a two u TV yet and again
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  Speaker 1: it's up. I'm not saying parents have nothing to do
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  Speaker 1: with you know what children do, especially when they're younger.
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  Speaker 1: I remember my my son, my clone. I just oh,
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  Speaker 1: things never go the way you expect. But I never
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  Speaker 1: thought anything would ever get between us. He was he
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  Speaker 1: was just light, just exactly like me, and uh, and
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  Speaker 1: he got in hot water as somebody caught him and
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  Speaker 1: brought him home and said they caught him throwing rocks
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  Speaker 1: at the windows of an abandoned house and he's hanging
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  Speaker 1: out with some buddies from school. I think he was twelve.
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  Speaker 1: I think he was twelve in the house of sitting
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  Speaker 1: there empty forever and ever. But you know that that
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  Speaker 1: although it was annoying, wasn't it wasn't so terrible that
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  Speaker 1: it scared me. Hell that was happening on lever To Beaver.
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  Speaker 1: Beaver got in trouble for throwing rocks at the old
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  Speaker 1: abandoned house where they thought the witch lived. So that's
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  Speaker 1: that's something kids do. And uh, you know, I took
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  Speaker 1: away a couple of things for a few days, had
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  Speaker 1: a long talk with him. I never had to deal
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  Speaker 1: with that again. He was a good kid, and uh,
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  Speaker 1: I guess having my presence and uh and that relationship
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  Speaker 1: with me that he and I had was all that
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  Speaker 1: was needed to keep him from throwing rocks at other
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  Speaker 1: things the rest of his life.
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  Speaker 2: You get Brad back on there. All right, let's try
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  Speaker 2: it again.
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  Speaker 1: He said he wants to be referred to as be
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  Speaker 1: Rad b Rad. Yeah, good luck with that, Brad. You're
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  Speaker 1: on six ten double utvna Chuck.
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  Speaker 3: Hey, were you raised by a single parent?
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  Speaker 4: I was not.
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  Speaker 3: Okay I wasn't either, But here's just saying where I'm
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  Speaker 3: buying the parent if you'll hear me out, please. The
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  Speaker 3: soccer mom started what thirty five years ago, where they're
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  Speaker 3: all perfect little angels. These kids have had kids now,
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  Speaker 3: they don't teach them any responsibility. And it goes back to, yes,
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  Speaker 3: the kids are old enough to know better, but they
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  Speaker 3: haven't been taught taught, and they've had no consequences all alone.
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  Speaker 3: Where does that fall? That goes back on mom and dad.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, yes, if that is the case, you're absolutely right,
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  Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. If the parents have been complicit
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  Speaker 1: of or collaborative in creating the little monster, that's a
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  Speaker 1: different matter. And they've got a track record, trust me,
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  Speaker 1: all through elementary school in the beginning of middle school,
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  Speaker 1: they've got a track record of being nothing but problem
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  Speaker 1: children with uninvolved parents or parent So there's a track
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  Speaker 1: record there. But if you've got a kid whose parents
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  Speaker 1: are at the PTA meetings and always helping out, volunteering
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  Speaker 1: for whatever you need them for, and the kid gets
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  Speaker 1: good grades and then one day they decide they're going
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  Speaker 1: to turn Chipotle upside down, I can't hold the parent
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  Speaker 1: responsible for that.
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  Speaker 3: On what you just said, I agree, But it still
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  Speaker 3: goes back to say you've said it four or five times.
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  Speaker 3: You've got to raise them right when they're young, and
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  Speaker 3: if parents have done that, the odds of them doing
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  Speaker 3: something stupid like this happened is very, very slim.
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  Speaker 1: Hope, I hope that I am on the right track,
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  Speaker 1: because that's how I always thought, Brad. That's it, I
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  Speaker 1: believe it or not, And people have called me crazy
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  Speaker 1: for this, I think, honestly you've got until a kid
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  Speaker 1: is about six years old. I mean that they will
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  Speaker 1: get all the minutia and the technicalities of life after that,
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  Speaker 1: but the basis of what is good, what is bad,
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  Speaker 1: what is right, what is wrong? That is something you installed.
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  Speaker 1: By the time they get in first grade, they know. Frankly,
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  Speaker 1: I believe you can look at the kid in first grade.
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  Speaker 2: And kind of tell this is the kind of adult
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  Speaker 2: they will be.
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  Speaker 1: Because you have either instilled those principles and values in them,
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  Speaker 1: even if they don't know the words to explain it,
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  Speaker 1: they know right from wrong and good from bad. If
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  Speaker 1: you've done the job well, Now the rest of it
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  Speaker 1: after six is okay. Now this is where you lead
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  Speaker 1: by example. They need to see you doing what you've
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  Speaker 1: been preaching, practicing what you preach. That's the next step.
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  Speaker 1: And then when they go out there into the world
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  Speaker 1: on their own, and you know they do.
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  Speaker 2: On fifteen and a half, I've got my attempt driver's license,
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  Speaker 2: I'm sixteen, I've got my driver's life. I'm going out
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  Speaker 2: with my friends. You know what happens.
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  Speaker 1: At that point, You truly you don't have much control.
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  Speaker 1: You may have influence, but you don't have much control.
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  Speaker 1: So do yourself a favor and be diligent the first
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  Speaker 1: six years and then the next five or six years
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  Speaker 1: of their life. That is your opportunity to mold a
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  Speaker 1: good person. And you know, he just asked, was I
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  Speaker 1: raised by a single family? No, no single parent family
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  Speaker 1: than me. I was so blessed to have Charlie that
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  Speaker 1: I can't even talk about him most times without getting
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  Speaker 1: all misty. He was a great man as far as
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  Speaker 1: I was concerned, never made a bunch of money. He's
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  Speaker 1: a tool and die maker. Came home smell like machine
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  Speaker 1: oil every day. And I knew right from wrong, and
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  Speaker 1: I knew good from bed, and I knew I loved
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  Speaker 1: my mommy and I didn't want to disappoint her. And
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  Speaker 1: I knew that I loved my daddy. But if I
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  Speaker 1: did something to disappoint mom, I had a price to pay.
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  Speaker 1: And yes, he whipped my butt, He absolutely did. No,
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  Speaker 1: he did not abuse me, but he made sure I
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  Speaker 1: didn't forget that I had strayed way off. Course were
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  Speaker 1: those times when I got you know, just a little,
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  Speaker 1: just a little punishment. Can't have dessert, or you can't
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  Speaker 1: do yes. But if I went way, of course, there
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  Speaker 1: was a price to be paid, and there was no
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  Speaker 1: Children's Services standing in the corner waiting to file some
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  Speaker 1: complaint against him so that they could take control of
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  Speaker 1: me and put me in a house with some foster
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  Speaker 1: parents so they could act like they have a value.
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  Speaker 1: Now we're going to reunite the family. Will you broke
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  Speaker 1: it up in the first place. Don't get me started
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  Speaker 1: on those people. Have your children. More importantly, raise your
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  Speaker 1: children and hopefully by the time they become teenagers. You're
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  Speaker 1: not one of the people we're talking about right now.
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  Speaker 1: A two one nine eight eighty six. That's the Legacy
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  Speaker 1: Retirement Group dot com phone lines. Joe, you're on six
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  Speaker 1: to ten, doa w UTV and helloo.
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  Speaker 4: Hello Chuck. I love the topic.
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  Speaker 5: Uh.
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  Speaker 4: One of the biggest excuses I've heard about all of
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  Speaker 4: this throughout my sixty one years and as far as
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  Speaker 4: marriage and raising children, because I wasn't given an instruction book. Well,
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  Speaker 4: we were all given an instruction books, and it's usually
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  Speaker 4: laying on the coffee table, was an inch of dust
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  Speaker 4: on it. Need to dust it off and read it
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  Speaker 4: when you're young. It'll help you a long way in life.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not going to disagree with you Joe. I think
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  Speaker 1: that influence is a very important influence. It's not not
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  Speaker 1: always absolutely necessary, but I had a balance in my house.
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  Speaker 5: You know.
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  Speaker 1: Mom was more of the church going person. Dad not really,
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  Speaker 1: and to this day I don't know where he stood.
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  Speaker 1: I never never got a chance, as an adult man
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  Speaker 1: to have that conversation with him. But I know that
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  Speaker 1: I know that it mattered to him to be a
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  Speaker 1: good man and to treat people well and to expect
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  Speaker 1: to be treated well by other people. He didn't put
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  Speaker 1: up with. He did not put up with any kind
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  Speaker 1: of disrespect or nastiness from anybody, and.
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  Speaker 2: He was an inspiration father.
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  Speaker 4: I thought my father was the dumbest person in the world.
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  Speaker 4: So I got my own children. Yeah, older, I get
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  Speaker 4: the mater he gives.
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  Speaker 2: You Me and Mark Twain, buddy, that's how it goes.
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  Speaker 1: I appreciate the call A two one WTV and and
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  Speaker 1: Tim you're on the Legacy Yourtirement Group dot com phone lines.
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  Speaker 5: Hey, Chuck, thanks for taking my call. I have a
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  Speaker 5: quick question for you. Okay, when did Children's Services start
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  Speaker 5: getting involved and making things worse?
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  Speaker 1: You know, that's an excellent question. I don't know because
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  Speaker 1: my history with them is not very deep or or long.
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  Speaker 1: I used to raise funds for them at another station
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  Speaker 1: years ago. I would do a Christmas time radiothon because
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  Speaker 1: there were kids that are stuck in the system, that
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  Speaker 1: are not in foster homes, that were basically living in
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  Speaker 1: FCCS facilities over the holidays. So I did this thing
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  Speaker 1: on the air to get people to come down and
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  Speaker 1: bring toys and stuff so that those kids weren't forgotten
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  Speaker 1: on Christmas.
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  Speaker 2: But back then it had a very positive reputation.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think they've made things worse.
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  Speaker 5: I've had dealings with them, and I don't think they
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  Speaker 5: really know what they're doing. They talk about a family unit.
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  Speaker 5: I have an adopted daughter fifteen and a half, no
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  Speaker 5: tempt yet, but she's very respectful and we look at
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  Speaker 5: what would have happened otherwise. She could have been one
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  Speaker 5: of them kids in that fight at Tootle, And I'm
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  Speaker 5: just wondering when Children's Services made matters. I think they
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  Speaker 5: made matters worse. My parents were in their sixties. I
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  Speaker 5: helped them move and I went to a drawer and
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  Speaker 5: there was a leather belt that I know has got
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  Speaker 5: my DNA on it, and I was shocked to still
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  Speaker 5: find that belt there because hell, they were in their sixties, yep,
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  Speaker 5: and that belt was still in that drawer, and nobody
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  Speaker 5: called Children's services on them.
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  Speaker 6: We were called anybody.
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  Speaker 1: We were much much different back then, and I think
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  Speaker 1: probably better. I mean, as a kid, my dad had
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  Speaker 1: a pistol in the house. He had a twenty two
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  Speaker 1: boat actually rifle in the house. I knew where both
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  Speaker 1: of them were shot anybody, because that was not the
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  Speaker 1: right thing to do. You didn't touch those those didn't
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  Speaker 1: belong to you. They were dangerous. I did not need
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  Speaker 1: Children's Services or a court of law to intervene to
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  Speaker 1: tell me that because I had parents at home.
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  Speaker 2: That made sure that I didn't do stupid stuff.
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  Speaker 1: And you know today, if you have a kid and
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  Speaker 1: a gun in the same house, the gun needs to
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  Speaker 1: be in a safe, in a lock drawer, in a
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  Speaker 1: lock closet, in a locked bedroom with two pit bulls
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  Speaker 1: guarding it.
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  Speaker 2: Otherwise it's your fault when something goes wrong. Mike here
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  Speaker 2: on sixteen L of the ETVN.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you. Interesting topic. I have to wonder when
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  Speaker 6: it was that our behaviors, or individual behaviors, became the
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  Speaker 6: fault of somebody else. I think that one of the
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  Speaker 6: things that has to happen is we need to get
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  Speaker 6: back to I don't care how old you are, what
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  Speaker 6: you do is right. If it's wrong, you get disciplined.
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  Speaker 6: Youither get disciplined by your parents or you get disciplined
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  Speaker 6: by society. But either way, when you do something that's wrong,
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  Speaker 6: that's how you learn not to do it again.
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  Speaker 2: There you go.
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  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. These kids need to pay a
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  Speaker 1: price for their actions. Don't hold their parents' hostage because
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  Speaker 1: they went out and did something. There at a stage
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  Speaker 1: of life now where they know what they did and
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  Speaker 1: they need to pay a price for that.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, and stage of life be darned. I mean, you know,
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  Speaker 6: if you're six years old and you do something wrong
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  Speaker 6: at home, you're liable to get disciplined by somebody. I
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  Speaker 6: know I was, and my children were, and my grandchildren were. Yep,
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  Speaker 6: And that's how you learn. This business is Oh, it's
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  Speaker 6: somebody else's fault, it's children's services, it's this, it's that. No,
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  Speaker 6: it isn't. It's your responsibility.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, as long as that stays balanced. Mike, I appreciate
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  Speaker 1: the call, the the idea that they they get so
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  Speaker 1: involved with these families and set so many rules. Well,
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  Speaker 1: you can't discipline your kid, do that, or you can't
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  Speaker 1: do that. That unfortunately, too many times leads the kid
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  Speaker 1: to become even worse than what they are. And then
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  Speaker 1: when they go stray because you weren't allowed to do
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  Speaker 1: what you knew as their parent needed to be done.
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  Speaker 1: And again I'm not endorsing beating a child, abusing a child,
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  Speaker 1: but discipline. Discipline is sometimes required, That's what it comes
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  Speaker 1: down to it, and it's frowned upon. Now you are
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  Speaker 1: a bad person. I remember once being in I was
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  Speaker 1: in Kroger. My oldest son, he was probably four.
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  Speaker 6: Andy.
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  Speaker 1: He wanted candy? Is worth a checkout? Well, I had
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  Speaker 1: to have candy. Want a candy? I told you nobody
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  Speaker 1: would not get any candy right now.
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  Speaker 2: We got to get this home. One candy, one candy.
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  Speaker 2: And he rose up in the.
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  Speaker 1: Cart and he reached over and he just grabbed candy
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  Speaker 1: there at the checkout. I took the candy away, I
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  Speaker 1: put it back on the shelf. I lifted him up
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  Speaker 1: and I gave him a good whap on the button.
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  Speaker 1: There's an old man behind me. He goes, nice to
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  Speaker 1: see somebody remembers how to do that.
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  Speaker 2: I have been me my whole life,