Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / November 14, 2017 | Expresso - Katie Kaberline

Transcript

November 14, 2017 | Expresso - Katie Kaberline · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the first picture.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was raised in a Christian home.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I accepted Christ in my heart at an early age and my family.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: We have attended TBC since I was born.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Growing up, uh, I was a difficult child to raise.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I had a uh spirit that thought that I knew best.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Without, you guys couldn't tell me, my parents could not tell me any different.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody could.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I also have the spiritual gift of mercy or helping other people.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: These two things got me into trouble in my teenage years.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um growing up, I was a good Christian girl.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't party in high school and tried to follow the rules.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but through high school, my journey started to change, um, partly due to a boyfriend who wasn't a great boy, and partly due to my experience uh in youth group.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: In youth group, I looked up to my youth pastor who was in a spiritual role, and someone who I thought I could trust.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Over my sophomore and junior year, I was let down by this person more times than I can tell you, and uh my attitude began to change, along with my faith walk.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: My role model was not who I thought he was, and over time I was made to feel in my mind that I made bad choices by uh the actions of my youth pastor towards me on many youth trips.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um and that affected me in many ways and had ripple effects uh through my decisions for many years.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Looking back at that time now, I can see that um even our role models are human and still prone to ascend nature.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um and there's only one in this life that will know that won't let you down.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's God.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, but at that time you couldn't tell me that, and I didn't didn't realize that you know you think you see a youth pastor, you see somebody in a godly role, and you expect them to live up to that.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And when that person makes you feel a certain way, it can affect you in your teenage years.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um during that time I started slowly going away from the Lord.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was dating this boy who I thought I could change thanks to the gift of mercy.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: We dated off and on for parts of my freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior years of high school.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um during my senior years of high school, I spent too much time with him and started making bad choices.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: My heart was broken when he cheated on me.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it changed me also in ways.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, changed my relationships.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I had trust issues and didn't want to allow anybody else to get close because he broke my heart.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the spiritual gift of mercy can be amazing, but it also led me to bad boy after bad boy, thinking I could change them.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um in the end, I only got dragged down further.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: During this time, I went away from the church and stopped attending.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I remember trying to have quiet times, um, and they were quickly stopped as soon as they were started.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Without having a church family or small group to be a part of, I had no one to help foster my relationship with God.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And um, through the years I've realized how important that is.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout this time, my mother faithfully prayed for me and my choices, um, and that my choices would bring me back to Christ.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And as it turns out, so did my in-laws.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: They were praying for me for many years also, through praying for their husband's spouse.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Through their peck through their prayers and many years of maturity, I came to a point where I was tired of running without getting anywhere, and I slowly made my way back to the church.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, at a wedding, uh, Natalie Delaberto's wedding, to be exact, I'm my husband and I reconnected.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: We grew up at TBC in the youth group and we're friends, and I always had a crush on him.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: It turns out that that crush never went away.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: When we met at the wedding, we spoke for a long time, and within three months, we had gone on our first date.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the night of our first date was actually the last night I ever spoke to that boy who cheated on me in high school.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we'd never lost contact, and for some reason, that night when we talked on the phone after um afterwards, uh, I asked all the hard questions and I made the decision to be done.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: To be done with him, and uh that he was never going to change.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh during uh the pretty early stages of my relationship with Nate, I could tell things were different.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: He was a different type of guy, and he um he m our relationship made me feel like I had finally found home, kind of a place where I knew I wanted to be.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um we got married two weeks shy of dating for a year, um, and have now been married for 11 years.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: We have three children, uh, Landon, who's age eight, Elizabeth, age four, and Susanna, age two.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh during our first year of marriage, I had a lot of baggage from the past choices that I had made, and I had to deal with all of that with Nate.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um and we moved through these issues together and became stronger in the process.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh after we'd been married for a year and a half, we decided it was time to start a family.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I had always had issues with my period being irregular since I was in eighth grade.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Once I got on birth control, I had regular cycles every month.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: The doctor said everything was fine.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Once I gained weight, I would have regular cycles.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: So in college, after college, um I was living in Kansas City and I decided I'll get off the pill.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've gained weight, I'll have regular periods.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: After eight months of not having a period, I went to see an OBGYN in Kansas City where I was living.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um and he ran a bunch of blood tests, ran, had an ultrasound of my ovaries.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: The office called me, told me everything was fine, and I could get back on birth control.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: That was all they told me.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: So when we decided to have a baby, I got all those records, brought them to my first appointment with Dr.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Gleason, and um he looked at all those records and said, Looks like you have polycystic ovarian syndrome.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get you on some pills.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, polycystic ovarian syndrome?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: What's that?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And he explained it that it is where your ovaries make the eggs, and instead of releasing it, it becomes a sack of fluid.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't have a period every month.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um the only treatment for it really is birth control, and if you want to get pregnant, a lot of times you have to be on some type of pill.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: So he started us on Clomid right away.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Third month into it, I was pregnant.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um it was a very uneventful pregnancy.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Everything went well, and uh the only thing that was eventful was he came three and a half weeks early.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: But he was a very healthy baby boy.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: When he was around 15 months old, we decided to try again.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And since the first time had been so simple, I thought it's gonna be simple again.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get on the clomit, get pregnant.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this also came after not being on birth control the whole time I was breastfeeding him, which was 10 months.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I had one period in that time.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: So um my body never really knew what to do.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: So five months into the clomid this time, um, it includes taking pills for five days, drawing your progesterone levels, see if you even ovulated, knowing everything.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's you know way too much about the fertility process when you are going through infertility.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um so five months in, we got pregnant at the 10 way at the 10-week appointment.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um I went by myself.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my husband had an appointment, so I went by myself and found out that I had miscarried.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the baby, the sack measured six weeks, and I was 10 weeks along.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: They asked me if I knew my dates for sure, and I said, yes, I know my dates for sure.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always on pills.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I know when I got pregnant.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: So at that time, I decided to have a DNC, uh, the procedure to help me get rid of the placenta, and uh after that I went home to my little baby boy, uh, who was almost two by that point.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um after three months, we were able to start trying again.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: I got back on Clomid and went through month after month after month with no positives, no positive pregnancy tests, no nothing.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh my due date came.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: My cousin in North Carolina had her twin babies on my due date.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they were seven weeks early, a boy and a girl.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: I remember at that point I was very angry at God.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Not because she had these babies, but because I wasn't pregnant still.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And these babies were born on my due date, and I just month after month after month of trying.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: And this had been from June until October.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so through some counseling, some Christian counseling, uh I found some I found a place where I could find joy again.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um so in January, a year and a half after starting trying to have another baby, we went to see a fertility specialist in Kansas City at Shawnee Mission Medical Center, Dr.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Stewart.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Uh he was an amazing doctor.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um he went through the fertility issues with us, told us every month you have nine months, you have a nine percent chance of the egg meeting the semen, everything matching up perfectly, everything.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, wow, nine percent.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: How do some people make it seem like they have a 96% chance of getting pregnant every month?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, there's total opposites.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, some people get pregnant really easily.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was on the opposite.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but as we know, God's timing is not our timing.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And um, we saw that multiple times throughout this journey.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um after the meeting, Dr.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Stewart, we decided to do um IUI um procedure, which is an interuterine insemination.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um short story.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: You take the same pills as before.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um you go have an ultrasound to make sure that you've got an egg that's developed far enough to be released.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then you get a trigger shot to release the egg.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: They go, your husband gives a sample, they wash it, they put it in you halfway up.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: So this um they said it can take two to four cycles of this.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: After two cycles, um, Nate and I got tired of it, and we just said, we're done.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a year and a half to almost two years of trying, and we just got very discouraged.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um during this time I continued to take pills, and in July I actually got pregnant and had a five-week um long miscarriage.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: That week I found out the same week that I found out I was pregnant that I miscarried.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it was tough, but not as tough as the 10-week miscarriage was.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um at that time we went back up to see Dr.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Stewart and he said, let's get you back on Clomid.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Let's right now, we won't wait the three months that they tell you because you're most fertile after a miscarriage.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: So after two years of trying and two more IUIs, found out I was pregnant.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um I had a hard time believing uh that I was pregnant after the 10-week miscarriage.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I just didn't want to get my heart set on it.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was very upset, um, very upset the first time, and I didn't want to go through that again.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: So um during that time though, Nate and I did grow closer in our relationship with each other and with God.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: We learned to rely more on Him, and our faith was refined by fire.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um we as we as I hit more of the milestones of the pregnancy, it became real.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then we finally had a baby, healthy baby girl two weeks early, and now then we ended up with a third.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um after two years of trying, we ended up with a third first month of trying.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And funny how God works those things.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um but through that time I can now look back and see how God used that to refine my life, to make me stronger in my faith.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And um through the pain, uh I I learned that we all have struggles in this life.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Every single one of us.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: They all look different, but they're all just as difficult to go through.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if I had not gone through that, I would have never realized that.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Even though I work in oncology and I see people going through struggles, you think, oh, well, they have they've got cancer, they're fighting for their life, and mine's just infertility.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: But it still is a struggle, and God is still refining us through that.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: So through through all these things, two of the two big things that I've learned were that we're all human and prone to us in nature.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: So even though we may have role models, we should always know that God is the only one who will always be there and be constant.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that God sometimes has us go through fire to help refine us into someone who can be used by Him in ways that we could never imagine.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.