Latest / Beyond Fulfillment Podcast / Finding Strength After Losing Everything: Bianca D’Alessio’s Bold Comeback Story

Transcript

Finding Strength After Losing Everything: Bianca D’Alessio’s Bold Comeback Story · Beyond Fulfillment Podcast

• 0:00
  Honestly, the best part is that I wake up every day loving what I do.
• 0:08
  All right, Bianca d', Alessio, welcome to Beyond Fulfillment.
• 0:12
  Thank you so much for having me on today.
• 0:14
  I'm so excited to be here with you.
• 0:17
  Yes, we are excited you could take the time to be here.
• 0:20
  So, Bianca, many of our viewers probably know who you are.
• 0:25
  You are a force in the world of real estate.
• 0:27
  You, you're a star on hbo, Max's Selling the Hamptons, and a leading voice in business and mindset, and you oversee a portfolio of 10 billion with a B billion dollars of real estate.
• 0:44
  So.
• 0:44
  So let's talk about your real estate career.
• 0:46
  How did you get started within real estate?
• 0:49
  So the journey starts a long time ago.
• 0:52
  I've been in the industry for about almost 11 years now.
• 0:56
  But prior to being in real estate, I was actually in the nonprofit.
• 1:00
  I was never one of those top performing a students in college or growing up.
• 1:06
  None, nonetheless.
• 1:08
  And I was kind of just trying to figure out where my next journey was.
• 1:12
  So I started in the world of leadership development with women.
• 1:15
  While I was doing that, I knew I had always had an interest in real estate, and people just said, get your license and you'll figure it out.
• 1:22
  So I ended that contract of traveling full time, and it was amazing.
• 1:26
  And I jumped into real estate.
• 1:28
  What I did not realize a few things was how difficult it would be to get started at such a young age.
• 1:34
  And then also the emotional roller coaster that came with sales.
• 1:37
  So that first year was terrible.
• 1:39
  I made less money than I did the year prior working for a nonprofit.
• 1:44
  So I kind of after, after looking at, like, where was I missing, realized that I had a big confidence gap where I was.
• 1:52
  And so I had the incredible opportunity to work with some really, really impressive people in the industry, learn a ton of.
• 1:58
  And then four years ago, I started my own company.
• 2:02
  Okay, all right.
• 2:03
  So you go from not being a great student, working for a nonprofit, basically hearing some advice that real estate could be a good option.
• 2:12
  So, hey, you know what?
• 2:13
  I'll try this.
• 2:14
  You know, young kid trying to figure it out.
• 2:16
  We've all been there trying to figure it out.
• 2:20
  And then the first year is.
• 2:22
  Is not good.
• 2:23
  Right?
• 2:23
  Like you said, you're brand new to sales and you make less money than working for a nonprofit, which is not what you expected, I'm sure.
• 2:30
  No.
• 2:34
  Like, how did you.
• 2:35
  How did you handle it and even stay with real estate given that.
• 2:38
  That type of initial adversity?
• 2:41
  So in that first.
• 2:42
  It was after that first year that I, like, literally Looked at my bank account, I'm like, wow.
• 2:46
  I have worked seven days a week, and I always had the mindset, like, instilled in me.
• 2:50
  First one and last one out.
• 2:52
  So, like, I went to the office first to make sure that I was there, and I would not leave until everyone else left because I wanted people to associate.
• 2:59
  Whenever they were at the office, they saw me and they reached out to me for opportunity.
• 3:02
  So after that first year, I'm like, maybe I need to go and work for someone and not try to figure this out on my own.
• 3:08
  And that's what I did.
• 3:09
  So I went where I realized I was missing was like, my confidence just wasn't there.
• 3:15
  How could I sell something if I couldn't be confident in what I was selling?
• 3:18
  And so I had the opportunity to work for two incredible men who mentored me in that second year.
• 3:26
  And that was really my big transition year for where I started to feel like I had the knowledge in the industry and worked up to.
• 3:32
  To close that confidence gap and was starting to gain some momentum.
• 3:37
  And so I was working with individual buyers, individual sellers.
• 3:40
  What I do now today is very different from how my career started in the type of real estate that I'm selling.
• 3:46
  But it was just such an, you know, I just embody this mindset of, like, find the best in the industry and work for them for free and learn and soak up everything you possibly can from them.
• 3:57
  It was the best strategy I could have ever taken.
• 3:59
  And I still give that advice to anyone who is super passionate about something but doesn't know where to start is like, find someone who's phenomenally talented at what they do and just become a sponge.
• 4:09
  Even if you don't make money, it will pay off tenfold.
• 4:14
  Wow.
• 4:14
  Yeah.
• 4:14
  That's such great advice.
• 4:16
  So powerful.
• 4:17
  All right, so you.
• 4:18
  You go down that road, you find these successful people to go work for, you get mentored.
• 4:23
  Your career, like you said, that's a big transition for a year for you.
• 4:27
  Then what happens next?
• 4:30
  So then I start.
• 4:31
  I get a few incredible opportunities working on almost like portfolio managers, like, managing assets at a much larger scale.
• 4:42
  And it was different from working with an individual buyer and individual seller, where I could have a lot more strategy because I was controlling more inventory and having more flexibility with pricing.
• 4:51
  And it just became a different way of looking at real estate.
• 4:53
  So I started to lean into that, leaning into that.
• 4:56
  It started to break away into the world of new development, which is my business now.
• 5:01
  My business now is I work with developers from site acquisition and I help them plan and build and design skyrise towers in New York City.
• 5:08
  And then my team handles everything from A to Z, from the marketing, the floor plans, the finishes, curating the amenity spaces, selling the units.
• 5:16
  But why that, that, that became an incredible pivot in my career is all of a sudden I went from doing individual one off sales to now managing 10 apartments at a time, 20 apartments at a time.
• 5:29
  Right now we have about 4,000 apartments at a time.
• 5:32
  And so it became a business of volume and in a, in a market.
• 5:36
  Real estate is a market based industry that's very volatile.
• 5:39
  I started to control a lot of supply and it just became a totally different lens of looking at the world of real estate and in New York City.
• 5:50
  All right, and another quest because.
• 5:52
  So that really starts to take off for you, year three within real estate.
• 5:56
  So.
• 5:56
  And again, you're still so young at this point.
• 5:59
  How does someone with no experience and just kind of like a no real background in this have the type of confidence to really operate at that level?
• 6:09
  You know, site acquisition for high rises in New York City, I mean, that's like.
• 6:15
  Yeah, and I love that, and I love that you said confidence because that is such an important key to unlock.
• 6:22
  And you know, people think that you're just born with confidence.
• 6:26
  You're not born with confidence.
• 6:27
  No one's born with confidence.
• 6:28
  It builds over time.
• 6:29
  When you start to realize that you're good at something, then you start to push the limit and go further and further.
• 6:35
  But for me, it was once I realized that I found my niche in the industry, which no one had created or paved that way for me.
• 6:43
  You know, I didn't know what I was stepping into when I started managing that.
• 6:48
  I like, I just loved it and I just studied it and I, you know, I just poured myself into it.
• 6:52
  And how.
• 6:53
  And how do you start to go from no experience to, to getting that momentum is outworking everyone.
• 7:00
  In the beginning, when you have nothing else to do, you outwork everyone.
• 7:03
  You be the most valuable resource that you could be to every person who.
• 7:08
  And I wasted my time on so many different things, but they were all great connections.
• 7:13
  People liked me, they wanted to work with me, they trusted me.
• 7:17
  So even just being a helpful hand, giving free advice, stepping in and giving my opinion, whether people ask for it or not, I became a voice that people started to listen to and that became that, that big shift
• 7:28
  in year like three and four.
• 7:31
  Okay, wow.
• 7:32
  All right.
• 7:33
  And so your career really starts taking off.
• 7:35
  You're finding your voice, you're developing this confidence through action, you have some phenomenal intangibles in terms of, like, first one in, last one out, outworking everybody, solid work ethic.
• 7:47
  And just as things are really taking off, you experience some.
• 7:53
  Some emotional, some personal problems that.
• 7:56
  That really affected your career.
• 7:58
  Can.
• 7:58
  Can you talk about that?
• 8:00
  Yeah.
• 8:00
  So when I was in my mid-20s, my father was convicted of a financial fraud.
• 8:05
  And every dollar that I had ever made in real estate, all of my family's money was tied into his investments.
• 8:13
  And we lost everything overnight.
• 8:16
  And it was one of the darkest seasons of life because I was so out of control and I had absolutely no sense of where things were going to go and how my life is going to change.
• 8:29
  And I was in this deep, like, woe is me.
• 8:32
  Why did this happen to me?
• 8:33
  But also needing to be, like, so brave and so strong and keep building my business and, like, I can't give up.
• 8:39
  And, you know, I've been taught from such a young age to have, like, this tough exterior bottle and compress and shove everything else down.
• 8:45
  And that's what I did.
• 8:47
  But, like, inside it was, you know, I was breaking.
• 8:52
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• 8:57
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• 9:40
  Going through, I mean, and that went on for years.
• 9:43
  And I.
• 9:44
  And I talk about this so openly and so vulnerably now because that dark season of life became the greatest catalyst in my career and in my personal journey because I realized less.
• 9:58
  Like, I look back on it now and I talk about the power of gratitude all the time.
• 10:02
  I have so much gratitude that that happened when it happened, because it taught me to never take anything for granted, that you could work your whole entire life and with one mistake, you could ruin everything.
• 10:15
  Your reputation, your finances, overnight.
• 10:19
  And that is so not to be underestimated.
• 10:21
  The importance of bringing people on and building a team based on values, having fun and enjoying the people that you work with and treating each other with respect.
• 10:32
  So I just learned so many lessons that I could have never learned in school and I couldn't have learned watching anyone else, like, experiencing it for myself.
• 10:41
  And so that became the next moment of, like, I'm going to put.
• 10:45
  Because I want to avoid my personal life, I'm going to throw everything into my business.
• 10:50
  And that became the way that I coped with it.
• 10:52
  But that wasn't the healthy way.
• 10:53
  It's now many, many years later that I've figured out how to really actually dissect that.
• 10:58
  Okay.
• 10:59
  Wow.
• 10:59
  And it's amazing that you can have that type of perspective and to be so grateful for, for such a dark season.
• 11:06
  So, I mean, how.
• 11:07
  So you lose everything unexpectedly and it's not even your mistake, right?
• 11:12
  It's, it's your, your father's mistake.
• 11:14
  So you're just kind of like, it's like collateral damage.
• 11:17
  And, and so how long did that go on and how did you come out of that?
• 11:24
  So the whole process from when he filed for bankruptcy to when he was, he pled guilty immediately to when he was sentenced, it was almost nine years of my 20s and into my 30s.
• 11:38
  And so he was fortunate enough to be able to get out of his sentence earlier.
• 11:45
  But yeah, it was, it was very, very, it was a very difficult time of like, just finding the strength to like, wake up every day and push yourself forward and then have to be like the pillar and the
• 11:57
  strength for everyone in your family, but also try to live life and be happy.
• 12:02
  But it was a very, it was a very long, long season.
• 12:06
  Okay.
• 12:08
  All right.
• 12:08
  And then business wise, talk about how, you know, again, you had this, this focus to just avoid anything personally, so you threw everything into your work.
• 12:19
  Talk about how that started to take off and, and how you, you know, you eventually got on reality tv.
• 12:25
  Yes.
• 12:25
  So, so all of this is happening in the back and the back end and on like forward facing.
• 12:32
  I start, I'm really in, in my world of development, I'm really picking up steam, you know, working on one building to two buildings, to three buildings.
• 12:39
  Then all of a sudden I'm, you know, I think I'm at my height.
• 12:42
  It's been the pandemic hits.
• 12:44
  And overnight between March 1 and, you know, March 30, I lost $40 million of contracts that were signed that buyers pulled out of deals because everyone was panicking and no one wanted to buy in New York City.
• 13:00
  And it was during that transition, not exactly.
• 13:03
  Then it took a few more months of like, is New York ever going to come back?
• 13:06
  That I started noticing all of my Clients were moving from New York City to the Hamptons.
• 13:13
  And I was like, well, I could sit on my hands and stay in a market that's not doing anything, or I could move with them.
• 13:18
  And so that's what I did.
• 13:19
  I migrated my.
• 13:20
  My business servicing my clients who were in New York City who wanted to relocate out to the Hamptons.
• 13:26
  And so I learned a new market.
• 13:29
  At that point in time, I was approached by the show selling the Hamptons because they were looking to cat.
• 13:34
  I was the last person they cast to the show.
• 13:38
  And they liked the way that my business was flowing.
• 13:40
  They liked that I was between the two markets.
• 13:43
  And I was very, very hesitant at first to say yes.
• 13:47
  First of all, I, like, never wanted to be on reality tv.
• 13:50
  I didn't identify as being that person.
• 13:54
  But two, like, I just told you everything that happened.
• 13:57
  I was so scared that that was going to come out.
• 13:59
  I had put on, like, such a strong exterior of everything being fine, that for the first time, like, I knew if I said yes to this, there was going to be that risk of being revealed.
• 14:11
  Like, this black shadow that had been following me.
• 14:13
  Like, all of a sudden, the sky was going to open up and I was hemming and hawing, and I was started talking to a lot of other people in my life, and they're like, you have to do it.
• 14:22
  You have to do.
• 14:23
  You have to do it.
• 14:23
  And to me, the big thing that I just kept coming back to is, like, the regret I would have of, you know, if I had said no.
• 14:30
  Would I regret that more than facing the fear of what was going to come out and being revealed?
• 14:37
  And so I said yes.
• 14:39
  And I said yes without really knowing, like, okay, now what does this look like?
• 14:43
  And I had a conversation with my producer.
• 14:46
  I'm like, I'm really nervous about this story and how it's framed and how it's told.
• 14:50
  And he said to me during the early days of filming, he goes, now's your opportunity to tell your story your way.
• 14:56
  The world could either write your narrative or you can own it and share it the way you want to.
• 15:01
  And that him saying that was, like, one of the biggest, like, sighs of relief of, like, there was so much power in those two sentences that I was like, wow, maybe I can share the narrative for how it
• 15:15
  happened to me and how I experience it.
• 15:18
  And this also doesn't need to be what defines me today is a part of my story, but it's actually, how do I show that this is the catalyst for the making me a better person?
• 15:29
  And the show gave me that.
• 15:31
  And that is what I'm so, so grateful for, having that experience.
• 15:37
  Okay, so you.
• 15:39
  You get this.
• 15:40
  I mean, first of all, that pivot, right?
• 15:41
  I mean, talk about.
• 15:43
  We talk about pivots on this show all the time.
• 15:45
  But just having that awareness to see all your clients are going there, going to the Hamptons, learning the new market, and then you get this opportunity for the show.
• 15:56
  You have this apprehension because your fear of being found out or being revealed in this whole, I guess, the embarrassment and the shame and just not ready to be vulnerable.
• 16:09
  But something inside you told you I just got to do it, so you did it.
• 16:13
  And then getting the opportunity to tell your story your way.
• 16:17
  I mean, how did that turn out for you as far as the.
• 16:20
  You know, how you're able to tell.
• 16:21
  Your story well on camera if you go back and watch the show?
• 16:25
  I was shaky, and there were some tears, and it was not the conversation we're having today.
• 16:30
  You know, it was the first time I'd ever.
• 16:32
  I had not talked about this.
• 16:34
  I mean, obviously my friends and my friends knew what.
• 16:37
  But I hadn't even talked to my closest friends about all of, like, that trauma that had just happened.
• 16:42
  Now all of a sudden, I'm in a room with 12 cameramen.
• 16:46
  I'm mic'd up.
• 16:47
  You know, I got angles all around me, the boom on top of me.
• 16:50
  And, like, I'm going to talk about this for the first time.
• 16:53
  You're not supposed to know how to do that.
• 16:55
  You know, I was shaking, I was sweating.
• 16:57
  Yeah, I had my nervous laugh.
• 17:01
  But that was like.
• 17:03
  That broke down the walls for, like, okay, the hardest part's over.
• 17:07
  I've done this the first time now, like, just keep talking about it and see what the response is.
• 17:12
  And.
• 17:13
  And it became.
• 17:14
  It's evolved now over the years.
• 17:15
  We're going back from.
• 17:16
  This was in 2021, the first time I, you know, when I was filming the first season, and I realized, like, by being vulnerable in that moment of vulnerability, like, the way that you start to connect to people is
• 17:32
  much, much different.
• 17:34
  And I.
• 17:35
  It didn't come into my business, like, at that day, in that point in time, but then I started realizing how I was connecting the clients and how I was connecting with my team and my leadership team of, like,
• 17:47
  how we can be people first.
• 17:49
  We all have things going on.
• 17:51
  Life is happening, and you can't just check it at the door.
• 17:55
  So how do you have and engage those vulnerable conversations and create a safe space for people to open up and Feel comfortable and then create and give them pathways to grow.
• 18:05
  Like, that's what life's all about.
• 18:06
  And that's where, you know, the book ended up coming from is like, the power of that vulnerable.
• 18:12
  Storytelling is one of the most liberating things.
• 18:15
  When we feel that we're confined, that we're shameful of what's happened, that we're embarrassed of our story, that shows up in the way that we, like, walk through the world every single day in our relationships, in our random
• 18:28
  encounters.
• 18:28
  So bringing down that wall to me is like, one of the greatest gifts I could have ever had and I hope to be able to give to other people.
• 18:34
  Of.
• 18:35
  It's really scary.
• 18:36
  I'm not so not undermining how scary that is, stepping into the power of vulnerability.
• 18:42
  But once you start to.
• 18:44
  To do that, like, everything changes.
• 18:51
  Wow.
• 18:51
  Okay.
• 18:52
  And I love that you.
• 18:53
  That line that we're people first.
• 18:55
  Right.
• 18:56
  In terms of no matter how success, successful someone is, or anything else, we're all just people and we all have aspects of us.
• 19:04
  Right.
• 19:05
  That, like you said, being vulnerable and parts that are messy and that's.
• 19:08
  That's okay.
• 19:09
  Right.
• 19:09
  And just the ability to.
• 19:11
  To show that and then.
• 19:13
  Right.
• 19:13
  So often our mind tries to keep us safe and comfortable and stop you from doing that.
• 19:18
  But like you said, there's so much power in when you do that and then realizing it wasn't that bad.
• 19:23
  And then what you gain from that, how you grow from that, just so powerful.
• 19:30
  Okay, so you do the show.
• 19:32
  What does the show do for your business?
• 19:35
  Yeah.
• 19:35
  So, you know, having the.
• 19:38
  Having HBO and the access to HBO and the exposure of HBO became massive for my real estate career in terms of the access and the visibility I could give my clients.
• 19:51
  So it was like, one, on the client side, two, on.
• 19:54
  I started to now step into, you know, being featured on more news and press and PR and talking about the market and really focusing on that.
• 20:03
  But then the third was the personal growth and development side, and that was the biggest thing, because in any business, any CEO, any leaders like you could be a savant at your craft, at what you do with the
• 20:17
  product you make, at the weight.
• 20:18
  But the most important part is, like, who you are becoming in that journey and then how you are using that to connect with other people and create movements around you.
• 20:28
  That's how you.
• 20:28
  That's how you create legacy over time.
• 20:31
  And.
• 20:32
  And that's what it.
• 20:33
  That's what it started to do to me is like I was having different conversations.
• 20:36
  I was in different rooms because of Leaning into the show and then using that as a catalyst for doing more speaking or, you know, being in more networking groups or being C suite, you know, think tanks.
• 20:52
  It opened all of those doors.
• 20:53
  And then how I started to lean into, like, how am I growing through all of this?
• 20:57
  What am I learning about myself?
• 20:59
  What don't I like about myself?
• 21:01
  Especially then, that is when my business really started to take off, when I started my company after I finished filming season one.
• 21:10
  And stepping into that power of becoming a CEO for the first time is horrifying because you do not know what you're getting into, and no one tells you how isolating it is.
• 21:21
  And reality TV is a world of everything's picture perfect on Instagram and, And, and home sell.
• 21:27
  So easy, and it's so easy to run a business that.
• 21:29
  But that wasn't the reality.
• 21:31
  So finding those.
• 21:32
  Those groups of people was so, so important in the beginning.
• 21:36
  Okay, all right.
• 21:37
  And let's talk about that, because on this show, so often, the.
• 21:43
  Maybe the most common thing I hear from other entrepreneurs is how lonely it is.
• 21:49
  Right.
• 21:49
  And the common thing is, like, it's so hard to find people that really relate to what it's like when you're the one that running the company and these decisions hinge on you.
• 22:02
  Can you just talk about what that was like, experiencing that for the first time and how you're able to deal with that?
• 22:09
  Yeah.
• 22:09
  So in the beginning, for me, it started in having imposter syndrome, which a lot of people talk about, of, like, who am I to have this business?
• 22:19
  How did I get here?
• 22:21
  The pressure of having to support and take care.
• 22:23
  Why do people want to listen to me?
• 22:25
  You know, why did they trust me?
• 22:27
  That's where it starts, you know, at the mental game of when you start a company is stepping into, from, like, being an operator to all of a sudden leading people and having that level of ownership over every single
• 22:43
  decision that's made.
• 22:44
  And so when I was feeling that imposter syndrome, what became very, very easy was to pull back, because I didn't.
• 22:54
  Again, like, my closest people were like, why are you doing this?
• 22:58
  Why are you creating so much stress?
• 22:59
  There's an easier way.
• 23:01
  But, like, I knew in what I was building and I was so sure in this was my path and I was going to do it my way and the right way.
• 23:10
  And, yeah, I was going to make a lot of mistakes along the way, but, like, I was going to do it with people first and, you know, creating these great teams and having a lot of fun doing it
• 23:19
  Trying to do something that's different in the market.
• 23:21
  But, like, who do you talk to about all of that?
• 23:25
  It wasn't my friends and family.
• 23:26
  I hadn't found my tribe yet, which that comes later on.
• 23:30
  But it was, it was all of that of like, having to outwork everyone, be in the office longer, giving up.
• 23:35
  I gave up every bit of fun or travel or any extracurriculars or exercise.
• 23:42
  Like, you stop taking care of yourself.
• 23:44
  You literally just pour everything.
• 23:46
  And, and that inherently compounds over time to become very, very isolating To a point where I was 18 months in, I'm like, I'm not an interesting person anymore.
• 23:56
  Like, I have a phenomenal amount of success in the 18 months I've been doing this.
• 24:01
  I was just ranked, you know, number one in New York City and state number 14 in the country.
• 24:05
  But, like, why do I feel so terrible about myself?
• 24:07
  Why don't I like myself?
• 24:07
  Why can't I have a conversation that's not about real estate?
• 24:11
  And that's when I knew that I, I needed to do something different.
• 24:15
  Okay.
• 24:15
  Wow.
• 24:16
  And yeah, we.
• 24:18
  So you have this incredible level of success professionally, but as you said, you, like, why don't I like myself?
• 24:26
  Right.
• 24:27
  And so clearly you were out of balance and something needed to change.
• 24:32
  So then what, what, what did you do next?
• 24:35
  So where I started was the most simple thing was for sleeping.
• 24:39
  At that point in time, I couldn't sleep.
• 24:42
  My mind literally would not stop racing.
• 24:44
  And I was in the.
• 24:45
  Because it wouldn't stop racing.
• 24:46
  I would go to the office at 2 o' clock in the morning when I would wake up.
• 24:50
  And so I, I share, I share this because it was like, I was like, I'm giving myself 30 days where I'm gonna leave the office.
• 24:58
  It was, I remember it was October of 2022, and I'll leave the office every single night at 8 o'.
• 25:04
  Clock.
• 25:04
  By 9 o', clock, I will be in bed.
• 25:07
  I know I won't sleep because my mind doesn't stop racing, but I will not get out of bed until six o' clock in the morning.
• 25:12
  And that was so, so hard.
• 25:14
  But I forced myself to do that every single day for 30 days.
• 25:18
  And I went from sleeping 30 to 45 minutes a night to two hours or three hours.
• 25:24
  Six months later, all of a sudden I could start sleeping six and seven hours a night, which I had not done in years.
• 25:29
  And, like, the power of sleep and transformation became so, so big with, like, my mental clarity for the way I was making decisions, the people I was spending My time with.
• 25:41
  Outside of the office, the way that I was speaking to my employees, my staff, the way I was muted, what I was using to motivate them.
• 25:47
  And so where.
• 25:47
  Where I started, the one singular thing that changed everything else was sleep.
• 25:52
  Wow.
• 25:53
  It's.
• 25:54
  I mean, we can all relate to, like, you know, not getting enough sleep and whatnot, putting work first.
• 26:01
  But you literally were sleeping 45 minutes a night building the number one real estate brokerage in New York City and state.
• 26:10
  But it wasn't.
• 26:11
  It wasn't that, like, I didn't want to sleep.
• 26:13
  My mind wouldn't stop racing.
• 26:16
  Like, I.
• 26:17
  I could not stay sleeping.
• 26:19
  And I think that's such a real thing.
• 26:21
  And I experience it now that I'm more aware of my sleep patterns, which I never thought about before because I'd taken it for granted.
• 26:30
  Like, when I am going, when, like my.
• 26:32
  My.
• 26:32
  The subconscious that we have when we are sleeping, how much comes out?
• 26:37
  And it will change.
• 26:38
  Like, it'll disrupt us in the middle of the night.
• 26:40
  It'll change what time we wake up in the morning.
• 26:42
  It'll change how we feel when we wake up in the morning.
• 26:45
  If we have something going on that deeper and that's below the surface versus when we go to sleep and we're feeling comfortable and we're feeling relaxed or life feels.
• 26:54
  It's an easier season than a more difficult season.
• 26:57
  And so, yeah, I don't.
• 27:00
  I don't say I didn't sleep as, like, a badge of honor, because sleep is so, so, so important.
• 27:08
  And.
• 27:08
  But I knew it was something that I absolutely needed to change.
• 27:13
  Okay.
• 27:14
  All right.
• 27:14
  So you get that straightened out.
• 27:16
  Clearly, much happier, much more clarity when you're making decisions that.
• 27:20
  That really changed everything for you.
• 27:22
  And then let's talk about the book.
• 27:25
  How did the book come about?
• 27:27
  So when this show.
• 27:30
  I guess I'll go back earlier than that.
• 27:32
  When I was younger, I used to use writing as a form to verbalize, to communicate, to process.
• 27:40
  Like I mentioned earlier, I was very stoic, buried everything in.
• 27:44
  So I didn't outwardly communicate a lot of things.
• 27:46
  So writing has always been, like a form of therapy for me and a way to process the way the world exists.
• 27:53
  Right.
• 27:54
  When the show came out, I knew that it was an incredible opportunity where I'd always wanted to write a book.
• 27:59
  I just didn't know the vehicle to do so.
• 28:03
  And so I started working on, like, concepts and ideas and what I want to do.
• 28:06
  And the book started very much as a real estate sales book.
• 28:11
  And I've Written about half of it.
• 28:13
  And then somewhere along the way, I just realized, like, gosh, that's not my message, and that's not what I've learned about all of these things.
• 28:20
  Yes, I am a great salesperson, but the story that's far more interesting to tell is, like, the life experience for how you can become whatever you want to become by leaning into life's experiences and really dissecting those learning
• 28:37
  moments that normally life is moving way too fast for us to even pay attention to.
• 28:42
  Let's go back in time and look at, like, what was all of those catalyst, every turning point, the inflection moments when I was at my lowest, how did they shape me?
• 28:53
  What was the.
• 28:54
  The lesson in them?
• 28:55
  And how do I help share and bring that out so other people can realize that they have the power with their own story to do the same?
• 29:03
  And that.
• 29:03
  And that became the message of the book.
• 29:06
  Okay, and so the book is called Mastering Intentions.
• 29:10
  Yes, the book's written, and it's 10 practices to amplify your power and lead with lasting impact.
• 29:17
  Okay, and can you just give us a quick sneak peek about what some of those practices are?
• 29:21
  Oh, yeah, Like I mentioned, the power of gratitude, the importance of manifestation, and how to manifest.
• 29:29
  I talk a lot about positive self talk, especially, you know, as you're going through and as I mentioned, you know, the seasons of imposter syndrome and self doubt that so many of us experience.
• 29:38
  Like, your mind is the most powerful thing in the entire world, and it will hold you back or it will set you free and take you to wherever you want to go.
• 29:46
  So how do you start to control your mind?
• 29:48
  So power of positive self talk and how to coach and teach that, how to write your story and share your story and use your story to connect to other people.
• 29:59
  So every single chapter is a different practice which has, you know, it's part memoir, so part my story, but a lot of it is exercises for the reader, taking them through their journey so they can see, oh, okay,
• 30:11
  I like this practice, or I don't like this practice, or this feels really good.
• 30:14
  You know, just tools and tips and exercises for help to help people learn about themselves a little bit better and take that into the world with them.
• 30:23
  Okay.
• 30:24
  All right.
• 30:24
  And, Bianca, you've had such a roller coaster of a ride throughout your career, and you're still just in your early 30s, but through this whole journey of being an entrepreneur and experiencing everything that you have thus far, what
• 30:38
  would you say is the best part?
• 30:41
  Honestly, the best part is that I wake up every day loving what I do, and I really do.
• 30:46
  It is so chaotic and crazy and the adrenaline is nuts and the lows are really low and the highs are really high.
• 30:53
  But I love the people I work with and I love what I do, and I love building so much, and I would not trade that for anything in the world.
• 31:03
  Wow.
• 31:04
  Amazing.
• 31:04
  All right.
• 31:05
  And Bianca, so the book is out, Mastering Intentions.
• 31:08
  You can find that everywhere.
• 31:09
  Books are sold.
• 31:10
  And, Bianca, if people want to learn more about you, your real estate practice, or just get in touch, what's the best way people can find you online?
• 31:17
  I'm very active on all social media, but most notably Instagram and LinkedIn.
• 31:23
  So you can find me Bianca D'.
• 31:24
  Alessio.
• 31:25
  Or if you want to connect more, sign up for a newsletter, be more involved.
• 31:29
  You can reach me on BiancAdelesio.com.
• 31:32
  All right, we'll link all that in the show.
• 31:34
  Notes for everyone.
• 31:35
  All right, Bianca, thank you so much for taking the time to be here and sharing all this incredible wisdom from your journey with our listeners.
• 31:42
  We greatly appreciate it.
• 31:43
  Thank you so much for having me on.
• 31:44
  This was awesome.