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MARRIAGE 101 - APOSTLE JOSHUA SELMAN · Selah Media House

• 0:01
  I am praying that God does not tempt me to digress because what
• 0:05
  I want to say has to do with the issue of marriage.
• 0:07
  You know, I don't talk so much about marriage, not because I
• 0:10
  don't have what to say. My epistle is coming.
• 0:14
  Oh, I have. Something to say.
• 0:15
  I certainly have. Something to say.
• 0:22
  But allow me steal from my file and teach you something tonight.
• 0:27
  Do you know, ladies and gentlemen?
• 0:29
  I think it was in one the weddings of one of our people I
• 0:32
  was saying this. Marriage was not supposed to
• 0:38
  solve all your emotional problems.
• 0:42
  Please listen to me. There are many people who came
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  into marriage because they failed in every other
• 0:49
  relationship and they now decided to change marriage and
• 0:54
  blame it. So they take the satisfaction
• 0:58
  that should come from knowing Jesus.
• 1:01
  The emptiness that comes from not knowing Jesus, they blame it
• 1:04
  on marriage. The emptiness that comes from
• 1:07
  not living a purposeful life, they blame it on marriage.
• 1:10
  The emptiness that comes from not understanding human
• 1:13
  relations skills, they blame it on marriage.
• 1:16
  Marriage into this world is carrying a load beyond its
• 1:20
  original allocation. Is the reason why marriages are
• 1:22
  failing the load that is being put on?
• 1:26
  Marriage was not designed that way.
• 1:29
  Everybody fails and blames the spouse, blames everybody.
• 1:34
  The man has always wanted to to be like a champion.
• 1:37
  He's always wanted people to hear to call him yes Sir.
• 1:41
  And because he failed in being productive, he's not employed,
• 1:44
  he's not anything. And the scapegoat he finds is
• 1:47
  his wife and he transfers the aggression that he would have
• 1:50
  gotten and blames it on the poor girl.
• 1:55
  Are we together? Don't say yes.
• 1:59
  Listen, how about the ladies? They carry their baggages of low
• 2:08
  self esteem and all those kinds of things and bring it into, you
• 2:13
  know. And after 1020 years, they look
• 2:16
  at the man and say, do you know from the day we got married,
• 2:18
  I've never been happy. And the man is shocked.
• 2:21
  You laughed when I took you for vacation.
• 2:23
  You laughed when you said all kinds of things during your
• 2:26
  birthday that I'm the best thing that what changed and you said
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  from the. Drama, drama.
• 2:38
  Do you know why? Please look at me?
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  There is a level of emotional satisfaction only knowing and
• 2:44
  loving Jesus can give you. There is a level of emotional
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  satisfaction only discovering purpose can give you.
• 2:52
  There is a level of emotional satisfaction only relating with
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  family members can give you. Not your wife, not your husband.
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  There is a level of emotional satisfaction only being
• 3:03
  gainfully deployed if not employed can give you.
• 3:07
  If you are not gainfully employed, you can be gainfully
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  deployed. Productivity controls that kind
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  of passion and that satisfaction.
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  There is a kind of emotional satisfaction only being a giver
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  can give you. Now, if you failed in all this
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  area, then you decide to. I don't know if it's to reward
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  now or punish yourself by getting married and then you now
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  blame your spouse. Is the reason why nothing for
• 3:37
  such a person, nothing the spouse does will ever be enough?
• 3:41
  And they're wondering. The man disappears for three
• 3:45
  hours. You are crying.
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  Is it that you don't want this marriage again?
• 3:48
  The man says I'm busy. What is all this?
• 3:50
  The time you are using to cry, you should have been using to do
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  something with your life. And because you are not doing
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  anything with your life, you transfer your emotional
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  luggages. OK, let me return it.
• 4:05
  Back. Let me return it.
• 4:06
  Back. Let me return it back.
• 4:10
  Zip it quietly, Bible say right? There's a time for.
• 4:14
  The vision. To speak.
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  But have you learned something? So while you get and there are
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  people like that, they call everybody getting angry.
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  What is wrong with our relationship?
• 4:27
  You are not you are not being serious again, you are not is it
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  that you are not my friend again?
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  The person say I'm busy, We were classmates in primary school.
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  I'm now a senior executive. It's not pride, I am busy.
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  Since you did not grow, that potential difference is too low.
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  I don't hate you, but how do I now start bending backwards?
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  People don't go. It's not a lie.
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  Let me teach you something, Let me teach you something.
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  And I'm not being sarcastic. There are many people who were
• 4:56
  so unfair to themselves when everybody within their circle
• 4:59
  was growing. They were assuming relationships
• 5:02
  would remain like that and now everybody has gone too far.
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  It is a risk relating with them because everything you know is
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  too classified. Their level of growth makes it a
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  risk relating with them. It's not pride, it's the truth.
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  If you sit with them, you can't discuss anything.
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  They are still talking petty, childish gossip things.
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  You are talking about transcontinental impact.
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  What do you now discuss with them?
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  They have refused to grow. Do you know that can happen
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  between a spouse? The level 10 version of a
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  husband is not looking for a level 1 version of the wife.
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  They all started from level 1. But the man.
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  You see, that's why every man must invest in growing his wife.
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  Don't say she should grow. You love her enough.
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  That's what you told her parents before taking her.
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  So invest in growing her so that as you rise, her growth is
• 6:00
  matching your level of growth. These are easy ways.
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  Listen, this is true. The church may not have the
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  courage to say this, but let me tell you the truth.
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  This thing is not all spiritual law.
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  There is psychology to this thing.
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  Are we together now? Don't get to a point where your
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  wife becomes an interruption to a conversation because there's
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  absolutely nothing she can contribute and it's not her
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  fault. It's not her fault you didn't
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  invest in growing her, by the way, I hope you know that it's
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  not because she should grow that you love her.
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  That is not a love thing. That's an.
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  It's an efficiency. Thing I'm talking about.
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  Love should be at any level provided you marry her.
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  Stay there. Are we together?
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  Don't say if you grow, I will love you more than you never
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  loved. True love does not have a
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  reason. How did I get here?
• 7:01
  How did I get here? How did I get here?
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  How did I get here? I repent.
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  I repent with sackcloth and ashes.
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  I repent, but I will still do it again.
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  Don't forgive me, tolerate me.