Latest / Get Curious, Not Furious / The Urge to Play

Transcript

The Urge to Play · Get Curious, Not Furious

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You love your child more than anything, and some days they drive you crazy.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Colette, a speech and language therapist, sense maker, and mom of three.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Get Curious, Not Furious.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Together let's make sense of your child and what's really happening in those moments that feel out of control.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Less reacting, more understanding.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready to get curious instead of furious, keep listening.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, welcome to this week's episode where we talk about children's play urges, also known as schemas, those repeated patterns of behavior that you notice children doing when they play.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I like being playful.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I like understanding and exploring why children play the way they do.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And unless you sort of work in our early childhood or um work with young children as a you know speech and language therapist, early childhood educator, um, then you may not have come across um schema theory for play.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I first came across this when I was at Play Center many, many years ago with my children.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And although I understood lots about how children's play developed through my work, I really liked schema theory because it made it very accessible for any parent to look at how their child is playing and be curious about what schema or what urge that might be satisfying for them.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: If we can do this, if we can notice how our children are playing, it can help strengthen our relationship with them, it can help us follow their lead in play, it can help us offer them, you know, more opportunities that expand on their play urges.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: It can also help us understand why sometimes our children will avoid or not want to play with certain things or in certain ways.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: It can help us understand if we have different children that like to play with different things, having this lens of their schemas or urges can, you know, give us some insights into why some things work and why some things don't.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: It can also help us understand why there might be conflict when our children are playing.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now, yes, there are lots of reasons why there might be conflict, but if you have a child whose urge is to create and construct things, which is one of the schemas, and their sibling has a an urge to destroy or take apart things, that's a deconstructing schema.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, those two schemas are in direct contrast to each other.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're expecting those children to play together, you're gonna run into problems.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I remember this when my um two eldest boys were young, they would have been maybe three and a half and one and a half, and the three and a half year old had a really strong construction, creating, building, putting together schema.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: He still has more than you know, ten years later.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And his younger brother has a very strong deconstructing and let's take things apart, let me see how I can, you know, things can work when I deconstruct them, and also a very strong trajectory schema, liking to throw things, and that was not aligned with his brother's need to build.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: So when they were three and a half and one and a half, yes, there's a different developmental phases and understandings, but their play urges were so different that it was extra challenging for them to play together.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: So when I had this understanding, I could set up invitations to play or play opportunities for my older boy who loved to construct and transport, and some different ones for my younger boy.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was also an opportunity to come alongside with some kind of social coaching and modeling of how we can play together, acknowledging that somebody else might like to play differently.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm hoping this will inspire you with some curiosity and some wonderings about your child's play urges and also your own.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: We as adults have as much of a need to play as our children do.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Play is where we can grow, be creative, have freedom.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's not for real.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And when I'm talking about play, I don't mean playing sports or things where there's an outcome where it's performance-based.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about pure play, play for play's sake.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: There are lots of different ways that I could talk about play.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Gordon Newfeld um talks to us about how we can use play to support children with their emotions, um, and how we can use play as a window to help strengthen those relationships, particularly if you have a child who's kind of, you know, put their defenses up.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that I'm going to dive more deeply into in future episodes.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: We can also look at play from a sensory perspective.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: So some of our children might be, you know, really strong movement seekers, some of our children might be, you know, love to explore sound, be real visual seekers.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And again, that we'll delve into more deeply in a future episode when we talk about sensory processing and sensory processing differences.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Children are naturally drawn to different schemas.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: There isn't uh, you know, that they don't have to go through every schema in order to, you know, mm achieve their optimal development.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's I guess it's kind of an innate thing that they're that they're drawn to for one reason or another, just like you as an adult might really enjoy doing some things and not doing other things.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Schema theory has its origins in psychology.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Piaget's theory of cognitive development and kind of led to schema theory, and it's evolved over time, and broadly sort of started out with nine schemas, but you know, more have been added.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um so if you you know are interested in doing some more research about this, you can you can look it up.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and again, as I say, you'll find the kind of nine core schemas, but then you'll come across um other theorists out there who who have added some more.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't about the stages of play that you might expect to see as children, you know, kind of how does a one-year-old play, two-year-old play, three-year-old play, in the sense of how maybe it's more kind of solitary play and then moving on to parallel play and collaborative play.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Again, that's another different area of play that that I can talk about.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is a framework for understanding those repeated patterns that you notice children doing when they play.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, like I said earlier, if you haven't worked in early childhood or with young children, this might be something that's, you know, completely new to you, but it's very accessible and it really makes sense.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Why do children, you know, repeat these patterns in their play?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's their way of making sense of the world.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: They're testing out their theories, they might repeat it over and over again, they might vary it a little bit.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's their way of learning about their world, seeking to find patterns and things, and that helps build those cognitive structures and pathways in their brains.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are some of the schemas?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Connecting.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: This is a schema where children like to build and learn how things connect together.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you will see this in all sorts of play.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you might see it in children who really like to play with Lego or with Mobile, they might like to assemble block towers, they might like to connect trains together, anything where they're working out how do things fit together.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then as your children get older, when they, you know, maybe you're in older primary school, then you will still see that connecting schema.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: It will just be more advanced than it was when they were younger.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: So they might be trying to create, you know, some marble runs, which has got some connection to it, but then also some you know trajectory and some movement.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: The opposite to the connecting schema, as I mentioned earlier, would be the disconnecting, the deconstructing, and the scattering.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So knocking things down, breaking them, cutting things, smashing things.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, remember many days at Play Center where we would have, you know, one of the parents the night before would freeze a big block of ice and they would hide things in it, you know, maybe some leaves and some sticks, or maybe some, you know, toy animals, and our children the next day would love to, some of them, not all of them, were drawn to this, the smashing.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: They loved getting the hammers and and you know, chipping away at the ice and breaking it and discovering what was inside.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Another schema that you'll see is the transforming schema.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: So children who have this schema are really interested in change and how things can change, and so they're keen to explore, you know, any objects that um change in their appearance or or the feel.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um so maybe you know a child that likes to mix lots of different paint colors together, um, a child who really likes playing with maybe play-doh or gloop or things that can transform and can change.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Again, as your children get older, maybe think about oh, what were some of those things they played when they were younger and how is that schema showing up now that they're a little bit older?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Some children have what we call an orientation or a perspective schema, and those are children who are really interested in how objects look from different angles and perspectives.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And they might play around with this and not only do those children, you know, move the objects, but they might like to move themselves into different positions and look at the world, you know, hanging upside down on the monkey bars.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: We also have a trajectory or sort of a movement schema, and these children will love experimenting with anything to do with you know direction, force, motion, things moving.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: They often love to throw things, um, marble runs.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: As you'll be starting to see and hear as I talk about these schemas, there is overlap.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: None of these schemas really exist in isolation because, like I gave the example of the marble run, that can come under transforming, it can come under connecting, you know, deconstructing to create a different type of marble run, and that trajectory and dynamic movement.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: It also involves, you know, rotation, which is another schema.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: So looking at about how anything turns, spins, rotates, moves, not just objects, but also children moving their bodies, developing their balance and coordination.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Another strong schema that you'll see is what we term the enveloping or enclosing schema.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: You could also look at it as kind of containing.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where you'll see children who like to wrap up objects or wrap themselves up.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you might see this in lots of different ways.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, creating enclosures, creating boundaries and borders around objects, building huts, um, dress-ups is another way of kind of enveloping and enclosing ourselves.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's also another way of transforming.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we'll see children who have maybe a strong ordering and positioning schema, and that's where they might line things up, place things in order.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: They might like to stack things, group things, exploring sequences and shapes, creating patterns.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you think about that, those are all sort of early precursors to maths and literacy.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: If we think about letters, if we think about numbers, there are lots of patterns and sequences in those uh later academic skills.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: So when your children are playing in those early childhood years, they are, you know, forming the foundation of their later academic skills.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other kind of last scheme in that in that group is what we call a transporting schema.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: So carrying or moving objects from one place to another, working out where things belong, maybe a child who likes to maybe pick up some stones and take them with them, or collect sticks when they're out and about and bring them from one place to the next.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: One of my children had a very strong transporting schema that we would see play out at Play Center, and he would do this with a group of his friends.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: They also loved carpentry and construction, so what they would do is they would go to the carpentry table and gather up the tools they needed and load them on the back of the trucks and then move it to a different part of our beautiful outdoor area and do their constructing and their creating there.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I remember my youngest daughter um being at Play Centre and having this uh, you know, lots of enveloping and containing, uh lots of family corner play, but a really strong transporting schema came through in this with one of her friends, where they would, you know, gather up all the things from the family corner, the dolls, the prams, the cots, and transport them all outside, create a boundary so that they had their space to play, and that was their way of uh playing together, exploring, having some boundaries, enclosing, transporting.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, as I mentioned earlier, a child doesn't need to use every schema for their optimal development.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: What you'll notice in your children is that you know you might be able to identify elements of all the schemas that I've talked about, but normally there will be a couple that are much more dominant than others.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Getting to know your child's play urges really helps you understand why they do what they do.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: It can also help you understand why they maybe avoid certain things in their play.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now, sometimes children will avoid things in their play because it's unpredictable, it's not familiar to them, maybe if they've got some developmental differences that makes it hard for their play to develop.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: It might be hard for them to work out those play plans and know what to do with different things.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we might see a little bit of stuckness in our children's play.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by this is that they their play becomes very repetitive and you know more repetitive than we might expect to see with a schema.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: So when children are much younger, those sort of early one-two, then their play can be, you know, more repetitive in the sense that if they're going through that phase of containerizing, want to, you know, put things into boxes, lots of posting, or they're going through that phase of, you know, scattering things on the floor, then usually in you know, typical development, they will naturally grow out of that phase.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're their play will evolve, and they will notice what other children are doing, and they'll be drawn to their interest, driven by those innate um play urges and schemas that they have.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you're seeing your child stuck playing repetitively with the same things over and over again, maybe really resistant to new suggestions or new ideas in play, then that might be a sign that they're a little bit stuck in one of those play urges and the opportunities that that are there for them to broaden their play in line with what their urge is, maybe those opportunities that are there aren't quite matched with where they're at developmentally.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Play is their way of learning about the world, and sometimes if they get stuck, then we need to explore and get curious about well, why are they stuck playing in this way?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Is it because it's safe and predictable and that's the play plan that they know?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it's difficult for them if they've got some developmental differences, maybe it's difficult for them to, you know, uh try out a new play plan.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: We see this really frequently.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I do in my clinical work with young children working alongside the occupational therapist that I work with, where we think about that kind of planning, um, having a play idea and being able to carry it out, that can be really difficult for some children, and that might show up as um stuckness and and repetition in their play.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: So if you do have a child who's a little bit stuck, what can you do?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first of all, you can get to know what are their play urges, and then you can very gradually add a little bit of variety, but in a way that that matches what their play urge is.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a child who's, you know, got their really strong play urge is to kind of disconnect and and destruct things and scatter things, and I don't mean in a you know disruptive way that they're doing it intentionally, but if, for example, that's their schema and yet you're trying to play with them, getting them to connect and build things, well, then there's there's going to be a mismatch.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: What you could do is you could create things for them to to build so that they can destruct them.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: This might be something simple like getting, you know, cardboard boxes, you know, crackers or cereal that you have in the kitchen.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Well, hold on to the cardboard box and and give it to them that they can, you know, deconstruct it.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a child that likes to construct things, well, can you use those loose parts from around the house and for them, you know, to have a collage corner where they can, you know, use some glue or use different things to create things and and build the things they want to build.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: I might have mentioned in the past about you know, toy libraries.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: Check out if in your local area there's a toy library where you can go and borrow resources.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: They're super affordable.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: You usually pay an annual membership and then you know, a few dollars to borrow toys for a couple of weeks.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: And what's so fantastic about the toy library is, well, there's novelty.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: So when you do bring home something new from the toy library, children are generally, I guess what I would notice usually for sort of a week or so, they're really interested in it, and then that interest tends to fade off.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm not committed because I haven't bought that toy, so it can go back and I can try something different.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's also a really useful resource if you're maybe unsure what your child's interests are or what their play urges are.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: It gives you an opportunity to try out different things and to test different things.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: When I think about um these play urges and these schemas, one thing that I really do want to point out is they don't just occur in early childhood.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we will see them when our children are young and their play is is developing.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, early childhood is that time where they have the most free play.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: When our children go to school, so here in New Zealand, if most of our children are going to school when they're five, then those opportunities for free play very quickly diminish.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Many of our schools do provide opportunities for developmental play and learning through play in those early years of school.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: But there's also a, you know, I guess there's there's um a requirement for the teachers to teach academic content.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm offering you to, you know, think about or a wondering I have is well, what if how they're being taught doesn't match what their play urges are?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Might that be a reason why you see them being, you know, disinterested and not engaging in their learning?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: We all have those innate drives and urges to play, even as adults.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I guess as adults, we don't give ourselves permission to play very often.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: So when you maybe hear or see that your child is being a little bit resistant to a particular learning task, is there a way that you can present it to them or it can be presented to them in a way that matches their urges?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: This requires you to get curious and to be observant about their play and to think about the schemas that I've mentioned and go, oh, maybe that's what schema.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And don't worry about, you know, did I get the exact right schema?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, there's lots of overlap between them.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I guarantee you, if you observe your child playing, you will see patterns emerging.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's really helpful to use this lens to understand why conflict might happen between children.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like I mentioned earlier about my boys who one liked to construct and the other likes to deconstruct.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that was really problematic when they were younger.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now that they're older, they've learned to kind of use this as a strength.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: They'll play to each other's strengths.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: One will do the taking apart and the other will do the constructing.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: This has been a skill that they've had to learn over time, but it's helped them see, well, actually, they make a great team because they compli they have those play urges that that complement each other.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: So we can use these opportunities by understanding these play urges and what drives children to play to help them learn to interact with others, maybe to compromise, but first of all acknowledging that, wow, you really like to take things apart, but your brother really likes to build them.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: How are we going to solve this problem?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'd like you to pause and think about how you like to play.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Can you think back to your childhood with a schema lens?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Can you think about, oh yeah, when I was little, that those were the kinds of things that I like to play.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder, has that shaped what you do for your work?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Has it contributed to your creativity as an adult?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Have you maybe avoided certain things because you're not drawn to them?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: How has that impacted you?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is that something you'd maybe like to explore?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Are you doing some work now that is totally not aligned with what those play urges were when you were little?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know for me I had a really strong play urge to envelope, to contain, to set boundaries, um, a little bit of transporting, lots of, you know, family play, playing with dolls.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I can now see that play is something that I love to do, and it, you know, shows up in the work that I do every day.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um using play as a therapeutic modality when I'm working with young children, and also helping parents understand the role that play can have in or does have in building relationships, supporting our children.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: You might also see these play urges showing up when your child is, you know, frustrated, angry, dysregulated, getting a bit outside their window of tolerance, a little bit withdrawn.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: I know for me, one of my other strong schemas in my play was kind of, you know, positioning and ordering things.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and this really shows up for me when I'm feeling a bit stressed and outside of my window of tolerance.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it shows up as a need to tidy up.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: And as soon as I start to, you know, get outside my window of tolerance and and feel myself getting really frustrated, the first thing that I'm drawn to do is to tidy up and bestow some order upon the place.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, yes, sometimes this is helpful, but it's not helpful if my, you know, children have projects out on the table that they're still not finished playing with and my strong need to tidy up because I'm feeling stressed gets in the way.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've been wondering why would we be why would I be drawn to this when I'm sort of, you know, angry and frustrated or Feeling totally overwhelmed.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my prefrontal cortex isn't online.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Our prefrontal cortexes aren't online when we get to that point.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: So we're likely to revert to those ways of reacting and responding that are very familiar and very well practiced.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: And these will naturally be those play schemas and those play urges.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Although we're not feeling very playful in those moments.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have the cognitive capacity to do different things, so we will go back to those well-rehearsed, deeply embedded sequence of actions.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: As a wondering, I do think it has merit in it because when we can see our children moving outside their windows of tolerance, getting frustrated, how can we offer play that leans into their schemas?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: I know that when one of my middle boy who's got a really strong destruction and trajectory schema, well, when he's getting a little bit wound up, one of the things that I can do that's really helpful is to provide him with something that he can destroy.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this might be a cardboard box that he can take apart or find ways to do some throwing.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it might involve me going outside and you know throwing a vortex ball back and forth and seeing how far I can go.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: And for him, that is really regulating.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, there's connection with me, but I can also set him up to do that destruction by himself.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: One of his ways of coming back into his window of tolerance.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now it may not work if he's you know really you know flipped his lid and he's really dysregulated, but it's definitely a strategy that I'm able to use.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I know for my um older boy who now has that capacity to kind of recognize when he's you know getting outside his window of tolerance, um, he will I will often find him outside making something.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: This might be that he decides to, you know, build a fire pit in the backyard, or he'll go and find some some wood and some nails and tinker away and create things.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: So he knows that he can draw himself back to that play urge, and that can help bring him back uh in into his window of tolerance.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Getting curious about our children's play urges can help us, you know, look beneath the surface and understand what's going on for them, both in terms of knowing how to come alongside them in their play, what kind of invitations to play and play opportunities to create for them, and to help us lean into strengthening those connections, giving us some insights into why maybe it's hard for us to play with them sometimes, if the kinds of things they really like to do in their play, their play urges, are not well aligned with our play urges.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now that's okay.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean we have to play the way they want to play all the time, but we can come alongside them and notice how they like to play and what those play urges are.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's so, you know, not well aligned with how we like to play, well then, you know, I guess as parents we have a choice to make.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: We might say, Well, I really don't enjoy playing that, but let's do this together.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: There's no right or wrong answer there.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're our children see through us, they can see if we're really not enjoying something.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, sometimes we do have to be more gracious and spend some time playing something that they're really enjoying, particularly if we've got some work to do in our relationship with them.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's also a gift.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's a gift to just be the more generous um person and come alongside and play something, even if it's only for a few minutes.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: So this week I invite you to get curious about your child's play urges, watch them when they're playing, reflect on your own playfulness and what your urges might have been to play when you were growing up, and see where that takes you.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear what's happening in your family.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a parenting question, challenge, or concern, send me a message.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Together we can make sense of what's going on.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you found this episode helpful, please like it, share it with another parent, and follow the podcast to help grow this community.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, stay curious.