Latest / The Unity Code - Where Science Meets Energy, Consciousness, and Spirit. / Releasing External Validation for Deeper Spiritual Growth

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Releasing External Validation for Deeper Spiritual Growth · The Unity Code - Where Science Meets Energy, Consciousness, and Spirit.

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hello there, welcome to empower your soul podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, nicole, and today I want to talk all about confidence and validations in your spiritual sessions.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: This came up twice today with two separate clients that I had, and I thought it was rather timely that both of them booked me on the same day where I had time to record this podcast.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: So here I am, taking the lead from spirit to talk about confidence and validation.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about how those two are connected.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: I want to talk about what does it look like when you need to be validated, like what are the paths I've seen other professionals or learning students go down, how do you avoid that?
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: And then how can you develop the skills to be confident in yourself?
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: So let's go down the deep rabbit hole here, probably with sidebar conversations.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: So confidence is interesting, because confidence in spiritual professionals and readings comes from years and years of reading the energy, trusting yourself, trusting what you're receiving and interpreting from spirit and relaying that information out to the client.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I would argue with you that confidence has nothing to do with how the client is receiving that information or interpreting that information.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: So I'm actually gonna take the whole client out of this entire episode because I think that the problem is not with the clients.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I think that the problem is with ourselves in terms of confidence and the feeling for validation.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: So when we are confident, we don't need validation, do we?
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: But when we are building up our skills or if we have internal beliefs that we are not good enough, that we are worse than our peers, when you look around and think other people are doing a better job, when you are listening to the information in your head and you're not trusting it, this is where the lack of confidence comes from.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Right, it's by looking around at others and feeling the gap in where you're at today versus where you think you should be.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: And a lot of people will use validation to fill that confidence gap so that they feel better about their work and what they're receiving from spirit.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: So let me give you an example.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: The first time I ever got an Akashic Records reading, this was early in my spiritual career and I was already communicating with spirit using words in my head.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: So the clear audience and I could already hear them, I could talk to them, they could talk back to me.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I felt like I had a pretty strong connection with spirit.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: But again, anyone working with spirit knows you feel crazy.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: You feel like the messages that you're receiving you're totally making it up, you're hearing it in your own voice, in your own head and you feel like you're a little crazy.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: So I was receiving and understanding the information clearly, but me coming from a background again from a science-based, data-driven engineering role, I was not confident in what I was receiving because it was internal to me and I thought if it's internal to me, my brain can get in the way.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: I can receive this information biased.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not receiving the right information in the right way and I wanted a gut check on what I was hearing in my head.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: So I went out to my dear darling friend Tiffany at whole body healing.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Shout out to her she's an amazing practitioner, she's the one who certified me and she's just awesome.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: She's awesome.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: And I went out to her and got my first Akashic Records reading from her because I had received messages from departed family members about past lives that we've had together.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: My guide specifically told me to go to a reading with her to understand what my spiritual potential was, and I mean this was like two, three months into like my spiritual awakening journey which, as you've heard, is quite tumultuous and traumatic.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: So as I was receiving this information and I set up the appointment with Tiffany, I got into the session and, like a true asshole because we all have those clients I was that asshole client.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I sat down in front of her and she's like so what do you want to talk about in the Akashic records today?
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: And I'm like whatever.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: And, knowing full well, I wanted to hear about my past life with my relatives and I wanted to know my own spiritual potential.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: But you know, I was a dick.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: So I instead said whatever, whatever comes, whatever comes.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: And she freaking knew I'm not looking back now at at the energy of this and talking it through I'm feeling like, wow, she knew exactly what my play was.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: And she was like fine, I'll go with it because she's cool as shit and she trusts me.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: But I don't know if she trusted me at the time.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: So she takes two seconds or whatever, does her prayer to get into the Akashic Records and then she's got a notebook in front of her and she looks, looks down at the paper, then looks up at me and says you're here to see what your potential is.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: And I was like son of a bitch.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: So in that entire session.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: It was really funny to me because I went seeking her validation that I wasn't crazy, that the things in my head were actually what I was hearing and and even the things that I went to go and get her validation about.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: She's like I'm not going to tell you that because you already know, like and repeatedly she said this throughout the entire sessions I'm not going to tell you that you already know what happened here.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: You know what that past life is.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I'm not wasting your time.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: We're going to talk about this instead, and I just love that.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: She held me accountable to my own truths of hearing and perceiving, spirit and allowing and, like, pushing back on me to say knock it off, you're not crazy, you've heard it fine.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Why don't we spend this time actually teaching you new things instead of just validating what you've already heard?
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: So yeah, hi, my name's Nicole.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: I'm that client, so I'm just going to take a time out here, a little tiny sidebar, and just say just try to imagine what you were like in the beginning of your own spiritual journey and if you have clients that are coming your way, that you did the exact same thing, for, like you, you went to professionals and also pulled the the bullshit detector out.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Know that again, these people are just in a very difficult spot where they're just looking, seeking validation, and they're trying to understand their spiritual journey.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: So give them patience, give them grace, play along.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Spirit doesn't want you to shut them down or feel annoyed with them.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Spirit wants you to embrace them down or feel annoyed with them.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Spirit wants you to embrace them and and let them know that they're loved and they're heard and they're right so they continue on their journey, instead of shutting them out and saying we're not doing this because you're.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: You're holding your energy like like you know, you practitioners know like you feel that energy and you can feel the resistance when someone's coming in to test you and it's more like give them more space.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: You don't have to be perfect for them, but just try so that they feel validated and time out right there.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: So I was that client.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: That was a pain in the butt for my dear friend Tiffany and I think that a lot of people start on that journey right.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: A lot of people have that experience when they start out in the beginning of their spiritual career and not trusting what they're receiving and feeling intuition but not really knowing what it is, or feeling this gut instinct, or not knowing what it is, or like the client I had this morning, you know, knowing her relative was going to pass, actually how he's going to pass, and feeling crazy, and then it happens and she's like what, what?
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Like I need to know what happened, I need to know why, um, and helping kind of walk them through it.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: So I think it's very normal in the beginning of your journey to do this.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: What is not normal is being um a professional that is going to seek external validation from others, and I feel like this is a journey for a lot of people, because even I, this many years into this work, still feel the need for external validation, because, even though my relationship with spirit is so strong and I trust spirit and I listen to them and I do what they ask me to do and I challenge them in the way that they challenge me, I still question myself and my abilities every single day, every single day.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: So, number one, I want you to know, if you're a professional and you have the doubts, the screaming doubts, the imposter syndrome that you're crazy, why are you doing this Like?
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: I want you to know it's normal, it's totally normal, but we all need to take steps to move towards reducing the need for external validation so that we can fully come into our own energy and our own power, so that we can do this job with integrity and authenticity and serve the clients the best way we can.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: So how do we do that?
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: And as I say those words out loud, I'm literally asking my team so how do we do that?
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Because I also need to do that within myself, and the number one thing they're telling me is trust that there are so many things that are happening at once in us, around us, with our clients, everything, and that there are these little energy poles.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: That's what it looks like to me.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: It looks like a snag in a sweater.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Energy pulls at play at any given moment.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: So that creates, especially when you're working with energy and you're so sensitive to energy and you're literally reading energy for clients in these sessions, if you are picking up and it feels weird, like there's a reason it feels weird, it's just because you're you're pulling at these energy strings and ask them to show it, to tell it to me in a different way, because what what's happening is, as you pull one energy string out, as you're talking about one potential future, as you're talking about one potential loved one, what's happening is like it's just like a sweater You're pulling that loose thread out but then another one's getting tighter down the line.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: So you never know what energetically is happening at any given moment and what the energetic imprints or repercussions of that is.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm just trying to catch up with what my brain just said.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: So know that if the energy is wonky, if the energy feels weird, if the energy feels shifty, if, if, um, if you get information and your client can't take it, if you, if your client is asking you questions and you can't understand it or you can't answer the questions, like there are all of these energetic strings being pulled everywhere and nothing is going to come out the way you expect it to.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Because this energy work is not a science, which is really funny for me to say, but here in the physical world it's not a science.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: It is an imperfect process.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: So as you pull on different strings, other strings move.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: It's difficult to read the energy correctly.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: So know that things are always shifting, changing being, especially.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: The more you uncover, the more things change.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: So they want you to like let it go.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: The need to be right all the time, because you are guaranteed not to get it right all the time.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: That is, if you are living in your true, authentic self and living in your true authentic purpose, as like an energy communicator or spirit communicator.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: If you are getting things wrong, you are reading the energy correctly, because as you read that energy correctly, the information changes.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: And that's kind of what they're showing me is that it's okay, the major milestones will stay, but you are pulling and tugging on these energies that don't make sense and they're not going to make sense to you.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: What the fuck are my guides saying right now?
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: In case you're wondering what it's like to channel information, this is it I wish they would get to the point Keep getting it wrong, and the more that you get it wrong, the better you're going to be able to predict the energy and the energetic tugs and the more you're going to get it right.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's the moral of the story here.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: So until you actually try, pull the strings, get it wrong, you're not going to know why you got it wrong, how you got it wrong, but then you're going to know exactly why you got it wrong and then you're going to be error proof in the future.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: There you go and they're having me look back at notes I wrote this morning.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Look back at notes I wrote this morning.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: So, for example, here we go.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Here's an example from this morning that they gave me.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: I had, they wrote it and I highlighted it.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: So, right before my first reading of the day, spirit came in and they said you need to settle your energy at the level of your sitter and then you need to both raise to the appropriate vibration of spirit together.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: So it's not that I come in high, my clients low spirits really high, and I need to, like, drag my client up to my level and then bring us both to spirit.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: It's like I have to lower my vibration to my clients level and raise us.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: It's like we're both.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I got to get into her tugboat and then I we both need to get into um the boat, the, you know, into the waves and rise together to get to the level of spirit.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Is that an aqueduct?
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: It's not an aqueduct.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm talking about.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: It's the canals, thanks.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: It's like Panama canal.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: We got to get in that boat together.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: We got to go to the lowest level and then we need to slowly rise together to get to the right level of spirit.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: So that's what they're showing me.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: So, instead of me walking into a session with a client and being so high and so frustrated that they don't get it and that they're not coming up to my level and how like, this session was not what I hoped, it's not the best session that I've had, it's not about me and where I think the expectations are, I need to get to their level and raise it as much as I need to in order for them to get the most they want out of experience.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: And that looks very different for other for clients.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Some clients are already there with you at the top and you have an unbelievable reading and those are freaking amazing.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: And then you have other clients that are so far down, I'm going to say, in the dumps, in grief over the loss of a loved one, and you need to climb into that boat that's six feet below right and rise with them, just so that they know their loved ones are with them and that they're watching over them, and you don't.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be a stellar reading, you just need to do the service to the client.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: So, bringing all this back in terms of the validation, stop trying to prove yourself right all the time and start believing that spirit gives you what they need to give you at the exact moment in order to make the reading go where it's supposed to go.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: And again, that's going to look different for every client.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: The reading might be spectacular and you might be able to pull out lots of evidence, names, information in a mediumship reading, for example.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Or it might just be.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I can give five core pieces of evidence in my client's talks the whole time.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: It really doesn't matter.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter as long as you are serving spirit and showing up with the full intention of being your best self and providing the best reading you can for your clients.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: So it's almost like the need for validation is to prove that you are the best, that you're amazing, that you're consistent, that you can do it well every time and that you get better and better.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: But the reality is, spirit doesn't need you to do any of that.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Spirit just needs you to show up in service to them and be open to receiving and relaying whatever you get so that you can show up the way you need to for your sitter, and spirit knows the best way to do that.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: So release this need for validation, that it's not right, that you're not good enough, that this is my path, because once you relinquish control and you surrender and you trust, spirit will take you everywhere.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: You need to go perfectly in the right time and in a way that's going to be most successful and beneficial to your alignment.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: So when you release this need for validation, your confidence will automatically increase because you trust now, and then you're going to be on your merry way to being the best spiritual service provider I guess that's how I'm going to say it that you can be.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: So I hope, um, I hope this made sense.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: It uh, this, this sweater pulls.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: I swear to God, if I go upstairs and find a sweater that's pulled later, I'm going to lose my shit, um, but I just I hope, I hope this helps because I've because I've also personally struggled with this, and this is something I struggle with every single day is this need for validation.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: But again, the more you can go inwards and trust yourself on your unique journey.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: This is what we, as spiritual practitioners, should be doing to make ourselves better, to trust ourselves more, and when we trust ourselves more, the sessions are automatically going to be the best they can be.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: So it's almost like oh, I got a thumbs up on Zoom for that.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: It's almost like a leap of faith that you need to.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: It's a leap of faith, and spirit has already asked you to leap by doing this work.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: So it's really not that much further of a leap.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: So give it a try, see how it goes.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: Work solely with the intention of trust, with the intention of.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to validate my work, I'm not going to value it based on the, the ideals of the or the cultural norms of here in the earthly plane.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to show up, do my best for spirit and know that I've tried my hardest and take it session by session, meeting by meeting, and wait until you want, like, wait until you see what the outcome is going to be in terms of your confidence, in terms of your ability to channel information, because the more you trust, the more it's going to come through.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: So there it is.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: I hope.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: I hope this helps.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: I hope it made sense.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Um, this is not my favorite way to do podcasts, but when spirit asked me to show up, I got to show up.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: So, um, leave me a comment, let me know.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Happy to hear from all of you, and I wish you all the best.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Take care.