Latest / Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell / Welcome to Reflect Reclaim & Liberate

Transcript

Welcome to Reflect Reclaim & Liberate · Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate Podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Finding the space for all of you in life and love.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Sally Ann Hartnell, and this podcast is for anyone wanting to reclaim and liberate themselves in their relationships and their life.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you are on your relationship journey, these conversations meet you right there.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: In thoughtful, deeply supportive DNMs with me and interviews with other gorgeous humans, moving you from where you are to where you most want to be.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: A life and love completely aligned with your deepest desires to have it all on your own terms.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you're seeking a relationship and a life that lights up all of you, you're in the right place.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, and welcome to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I am super excited to be launching this podcast where we will be together exploring all things relationship and connection.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: To be really honest, if you'd asked me a year or two years ago whether I would launch a podcast, I probably would have said no.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: But so many of my clients have really loved the audio support snippets I share in my programs, and many of them have asked me to do this, so here we are.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, I want to say thank you, a really heartfelt thank you from me to you.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know there are so many amazing podcasts out in the world, and you have probably got a zillion things that you could be doing with your time.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm really honoured and super grateful that you've chosen to hang out here with me for a little while.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to kick off and share a little bit of my own story with you.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sally Ann, divorced, single mama to two teenagers, well, young adults really, who move between two homes, my home and their dad's.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Covid has changed that in that their dad is currently living permanently in Melbourne, and that has really changed the way our kids move back and forth between homes.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's also thrown up some challenges, but that's for another episode of the podcast.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also repartned, um, have been with Adam for almost 10 years, and we are in a live apart together relationship, which means we are together, fully partnered, but we don't live in the same house.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Again, more on that one in another episode.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, way back 14 about years ago, when I divorced, coaching and certainly divorce or relationship coaching either didn't exist or I couldn't find it.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was searching for it without really knowing what it was I was searching for.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was that extra dose of support that I craved, you know, not my mum, not my sister or my best friend, not a counsellor or a psychologist or a lawyer, but an objective support person in my corner.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Someone to bounce ideas off, someone to who traveled the road ahead of me and who really deeply intuitively got it, who just knew what I was experiencing, what I was feeling, the fears that were coming up for me, someone who could be an objective guide, but also a real emotional support.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was really searching for that and it just didn't exist.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then once we divorced, and our divorce was quite amicable, and we'd created a mostly, mostly right, we're humans, we're not perfect, but a mostly collaborative, cooperative, co-parenting relationship.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: I had so many women, women I knew, friends of friends, ask me how did you do it?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: So those two things combined, the support I was really seeking and craving when I navigated my own divorce, and then women asking me how I'd done it, how I'd navigated it, and then also created that collaborative co-parenting relationship with my ex.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Those two things led me to life coaching, really specializing in divorce and relationships.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then the next step was I kept getting asked, where were you while I was still in my relationship?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: So the second part of Reflect was born, which is supporting women while they're still in relationships, supporting them to reclaim and reconnect to themselves.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the story of the birth of Reflect Coaching.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: But here's a little bit more of my own personal story.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all about living a life that's not defined by anyone else.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Living a life and creating connections, building relationships that feel true and real and honest, and that are a true reflection of who I am on a really deep core level.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also about embracing imperfections in life and in relationships, and that's why you'll hear a few imperfections in the podcast.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I want to show up here exactly as I am in all my glorious imperfection, which I really hope gives you the freedom and permission to show up in all your glorious imperfection.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: I also know that I'm not super easy to live with or do life with, and I'm really, really okay with that.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: If being not easy means I live a life that's really aligned with who I am, I'm okay with that.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that makes being in a relationship with me both a challenge but also a really beautiful, powerful, and amazing ride.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: I know that I am, and therefore my relationships are also a beautiful, sometimes messy, but beautiful work in progress.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: I also know what it feels like to be disconnected from your partner, disconnected from your life, and disconnected from yourself.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I know what it feels like to be going through the motions of life, day to day, going through the motions of your relationship thinking this isn't it, or this isn't quite what I'd hoped for.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: To be living on an autopilot where all the things get done, but you feel disconnected.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I know what it feels like to make decisions from, or to not make decisions, from a place of fear, fear of not being enough, fear of being too much, fear of never finding or creating something better than where you are currently, fear of being alone or left behind, and fear of no one being enough for all of me, fear of no one meeting me, really meeting me, if I showed up as my whole self, and also a fear of blowing up and it's okay, there's nothing wrong with this kind of relationship to go after or create one that really lights you up, all of you.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I made a conscious choice.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I did not want to live a life or be in a relationship that wasn't it.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted my life, my relationship, to be the real deal.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be in a relationship that lit me up, to live and love as my deepest, truest self, to really show up without the fear, to show up as my full and whole self without the fear of not being met or no one being enough.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And to be honest, admitting that to myself was scary AF.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what was on the other side, I didn't know what was on the other side of that decision, I only knew that something had to shift.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew it wasn't necessarily gonna be easy, but I knew or I hoped, I decided that whatever was on the other side was gonna be worth it.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: So even though it wasn't the easy path, I'm I'm okay with not walking the easy path.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now that doesn't mean that I want my journey to be rough or difficult.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: It just means that I'm okay choosing the right path for me.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's an unexpected path, if that's not the normal path, if that's not the easiest path, I'm okay with that.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want my relationship or my life, for that matter, to be ordinary or conventional or usual just because I don't want things for me to fit into a predetermined set of guidelines.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to please others, I don't want to do what I should do just because someone else thinks that's how life and relationships should be done.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: My life, my relationship is exactly that.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's mine.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: So it might not look like yours, and it might not look like what others think it should or ought to look, and that's okay with me.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, I'm feisty and I'm spirited, I'm strong, I'm determined, I'm independent and kind of learning not to be so independent that I shortchange myself with support from others.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I wonder if that resonates with any of you.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a great big generous heart, so that if you're in my inner circle, if you're one of my people, I'll share that with you fully.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: I will be your biggest cheerleader and supporter and love you unconditionally.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I do have strong opinions that I'm not afraid to share and discuss and debate, but I'm also super curious to hear what you think and what you feel and what you know.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: I do sometimes forget that not everybody, including my partner, thinks exactly the way I do.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a work in progress for me to remind myself to connect, to be present, to listen, to lean in and be curious about you and what you think and what you feel and what you know.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Having said that, I know my truth, I know who I am, and I'm lit up and excited by who I'm growing into, who I'm yet to become.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to explore that for yourself too.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to be excited by who you are becoming.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm deeply connected to my knowing, what's right for me, what's how my mind, my body, my heart, and my soul work.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that I'm on a lifelong learning journey.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: I embrace, I know that I'm not perfect, but I'm a perfectly imperfect, slightly messy work in progress.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: I've unlearned a whole lot of the stories that I've been told or have told myself over the years, and I'm really committed to my own growth and healing on uncovering my blind spots and um and shoring up my weaknesses.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: I know, I know my worth and what I bring to the world, what I bring to my people, what I bring to my relationships, and I know I know that that's infinitely valuable.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: And all of that, all of that stuff absolutely brings up challenges in my relationship.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: taking this path, taking this not easy path is exactly what makes my relationship so good.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: All the things, all those things I've shared with you, all the things that make life with me so challenging, are also what make life with me so freaking good.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, sometimes that drives my partner a little crazy.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: But why am I sharing all this?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I telling you all this stuff?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sharing this because I don't want you to think you need to settle for ordinary or for easy.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to believe that you should accept the beige, the white bread, the just okay because that's what you've been shown or told is normal.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Just because you think or you've been told you should be okay with whatever is expected of you.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to believe that what you want, what you hope for and dream of is too much or unrealistic.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to believe that you are too much unrealistic, too emotional, or that your expectations are too high.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm here to tell you that you're not, you're not too much, you're not too emotional, your expectations are not too high.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: That exciting, passionate, not so ordinary, and maybe not so easy relationship that you deeply desire is very real and possible for you.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: And and that that's what this podcast is really all about.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's about an exploration of how we can show up fully, authentically, as the whole lot of women we are in our life, in our relationship, because I truly believe, in fact, I know that it's possible to have, it's possible to create a deeply connected, fulfilling life relationship.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is possible to create that relationship your soul craves without surrendering any part of yourself.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the podcast is called Reclaim and Liberate because I want it to be, I want us to explore and to reclaim any part of ourselves that we've let go of, lost sight of, pushed down, made small, minimized, forgotten.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: I want us to reclaim those parts.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: I want us to liberate.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: Again, welcome.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so, so glad you've found your way here, and I can't wait to share the next episode with you.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sally Ann Hartnell, Relationship Coach, and you've been listening to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Instagram at ReflectCoaching, and if you can think of anyone who would love this episode, please, please share it with them.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also be so grateful if you'd follow the podcast and review this episode so we can get it in the ears of a whole lot more humans just like you who are ready to reclaim and liberate themselves in life and love.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll join me next time for another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Until then