Latest / Return to Love / Return to Love with Dr. Deb: Healing A Starving Heart with Gayle Guyardo
Transcript
- Lisa Mauriello: Are you maybe exhausted and overwhelmed by the whole AI explosion? Maybe you're starting to realize that it can give you brilliant data, amazing technological advances, but there's some things that it cannot replicate. Our loving relationships and our actual wellness. It cannot actually fix in real time our bodies, our health. And our solutions to our own well-being. Now, are we losing anything in this AI explosion? Definitely we are. We are losing the ancient wisdom of love, connection, and how to take care of our physical well-being. Welcome back to the Return to Love Podcast. I am Dr. Deb Costaldo, your host. I am joined today by a true broadcast legend. A journalist who for over 30 years has not only anchored the news, but she has hosted celebrated health and wellness show, The Bloom Show, in Tampa, NBC, WFLA. And she is currently making a huge wave across the wellness and media industry. She is part of launching HNN, the Health Network News. Please join me in welcoming Gail Gallardo. Hi, Gail. Hi, it is so great to see you. I know typically we're in person in Tampa, Florida on set together, but it's a pleasure to be here virtually with you. ⁓ thank you so much. This topic, I thought of you because I'm on it and ⁓ really thinking about people understanding that our physical and mental and attachment and love well-being is all connected. And I know, you know, you spent so many years in broadcast delivering the early morning news, correct? And up at two AM or sometimes one thirty. Yeah. It ⁓ it was definitely an early wake up call. We had to be in just before three AM every morning. ⁓ my goodness. And I know at some point you realized that this was taking a toll on your own health and you reached a a crisis point. Can you tell us a little bit about what happened? Yes, I started my career in 1988 and I made my way home from Montgomery, Alabama to Sarasota, Florida, to my hometown of Tampa, Florida. And for 26 years I was getting up and I was doing the morning news. And you know, when all the balls are in the air correctly, you can manage that. You know, you compartmentalize your life. I'd wake up in the morning, I'd, you know. race home, grab a quick nap at around noon, I'd pick the kids up from school, we would do after school activities, we would do all of these things. And then I'd go to bed around 8 30. So I kinda slept in shifts and made it work. But as the years went on and then more things started adding on to my plate, like ailing parents, ⁓ not only did I develop really ⁓ like almost borderline Hashimoto's but hypothyroidism. Which started making me gain a lot of weight, lose all my hair. It was just a real ⁓ white knuckle your way through life chapter. So ⁓ that was one of my health challenges. And then the other one was that I was talking for so many hours every single day, four and a half, five and a half hours, that calluses actually started to form on my vocal cords and my doctor said, Look, Gil. You know, you're like an injured athlete. ⁓ you gotta you cannot run on the field anymore. You need to take a break from this. And that happened ⁓ my last day as a morning news anchor, 26 year run, was April twenty-eighth, two thousand. And there was this huge celebration and and the today show, you know, folks piped in. It was amazing. And then all of a sudden the world shut down with the pandemic. Mm-hmm. And that must have changed everything, right? And then when did you start the Bloom show? So it's interesting. At that particular point in my life, you know, I I both of my parents had gotten very ill. And that's that was the other thing that was added onto my plate. I was waking up at one, but that going home to sleep thing was never happening. So I was functioning on like two hours of sleep, taking care of two parents that I was extremely close to that were very active. And and all of a sudden they were on a race to the finish line. So I lost my voice. I lost ⁓ in more than one way, you know, I lost it ⁓ figuratively and literally because I I had to step away. And I'm sitting at home, even then my dog up and dies. So I'm like, ⁓ my goodness. I'm like, this you know, what's gonna happen with my life? And so I've gone through all of this, you know, surgery and treatments for my throat, and all of a sudden the phone rings and it's WFLA. And they said, ⁓ Gail, we tried to launch A health and wellness show. It got up and running for about seven months. The host got had a high risk pregnancy. She left, the pandemic hit. But we really feel it would be negligent to not resurrect this show. What can you do? Like can you help us? So we started virtually, you know, with guests like you, ⁓ that would come on the show and we would piece an hour long show and all virtually. Then about, you know Fortunately, we live in in Florida, so we got back to business a lot sooner than other states did. And ⁓ we would go into the studio and start shooting, you know, with that ridiculous sixth-foot rule and you know, everybody's sitting apart and you're cooking in a kitchen far away. So the show started on a tiny platform ⁓ that Nextdoor Media Group owns, Great 38. And we had zero resources. So I went from being this like, really high level, you know, news anchor in the 11th largest market in the country to ⁓ you've probably heard of the company Two Men in a Truck. Well, I called it two Women and a Cell Phone. And we had no resources and we were on a a tiny little station like it's a called a dual duopoly, where a company like Next Our Media Group, a huge media conglomerate, owns WFLA. But it also owns a smaller bandwidth. And that's where they grow shows. And if that show can get traction, then they'll shift you onto a bigger platform like NVC and and Bloom was able to reach those heights. And so the Health and Wellness Show launched, and it was streaming in 22 million homes around the world. And it grew into something that started off, you know, with a big, big slice of humble pie. And So going and making that transition from, you know, news to then really, I would say the cutting edge of health and wellness, because I was with you several times in person in Tampa and we talked about the connection between human to human love and attachment and sexuality and affection. And so I'm wondering what your take is on this message of ⁓ your biological physical well being and everything you've worked towards for your own journey, which we'll talk about a little bit more. But what's your take on the role of love and healthy intimacy? What does it play in the physical cellular healing that you went through? I believe it plays a critical role. I I believe that our bodies need to be working and in a perfect well-oiled machine. And when, you know, when something is not working properly and it's not, you know, just the thyroid. And to be honest with you, ⁓ I I I also felt like a lot of the issues that I was having with my vocal cords and the calluses growing around them is because I was in an industry that started off as something that was kind of cool and organic and you're out there and you're researching stories and you're gathering news to this almost rage baiting negative news if it bleeds it leads and that's not who i am you know who i am by nature is somebody that my love language is showing love and giving love and so ⁓ part of it could have been the overuse of my vocal cords but i i definitely buy into that book the body keeps the score yeah if you're not emotionally there if you're not in love with what you're doing and you're not feeling love from your partner, your husband, your wife, whatever, it it's going to chip away at your soul in one way, shape, or form and it's going to impact your life. So to Ant that was a really long way of saying that I I think it's it's critically important that we have, you know, romance, solid relationships, strong friendships, sisterhood. All of those things are critically important. Family, all of these things. And I know it can't be a perfect world all the time, but I I definitely believe it's something worth striving for. Yeah. And even in terms of our own recovery when we do go through anything physical, if we don't have that love and affection and support, whoever it may be from, I'm working on a speech right now about relational ROI in the age of AI and how important it is that we keep the old school wisdom of person to person contact. And it made me think of that because ⁓ I'm going back into the ancient research, early 1900s, and we know that babies don't survive if they're not getting held, hugged, eye contact, coup to, they actually literally refuse to eat and start to wither away. And it's called failure to thrive syndrome. And so I think that's a huge lesson to us now that if we don't have that component, as you said. It doesn't have to be a romantic partner. It can be, you know, friends, family, colleagues, neighbors, community, ⁓ causes around the globe, ways that we're connected to each other, that that's so important. When you went through then your process of you know, going through your issues and ⁓ I know you did some functional medicine ⁓ as you're you're a big believer of that, as am I. How did you feel that all came together for you then with the the actual medical treatment and you know, did you have support around you even from the show or how did that go for you? You know, typically ⁓ I I first and foremost want to say that the management team at Channel A is wonderful. And I whether I was in the news department or in the programming department with Bloom, they are a very supportive group. So I will say I was very lucky in that way. ⁓ however ⁓ it is in reality an industry where the show must go on. So if you know someone is dying, you know, you do get some time off or but it's a business, it's a corporation. So you have to figure out a way to make it work. So initially I was going to my traditional doctor and and and there's nothing wrong with traditional medicine and going through your insurance company. The only problem is is that there's only so much that they can do because they're hog tied with what insurance companies will cover and what pharmaceutical that they can write you a prescription of. And so they're they're very and they don't have the time to get to the root cause of the problem. But I went that route and I I waited eight months to see the Dalai Lama thyroids and this man looked me across the the eyes, the dead eyes, he said, I I think you need cognitive behavioral therapy. And I thought to myself, I waited eight months to be gaslit. I mean, maybe I do need time on the couch, but at the end of the day, that's not what was wrong with me. I was sick and my thyroid wasn't functioning properly. So I told my husband, I'm like, look, I know this is not the way things are done or we're something we're familiar with, but I need to get I need to heal. So I'm gonna pay out of pocket and I'm gonna go to a functional health doctor. I'm gonna find out what the hell is going on. And I mean that was like the breaking point for me. I mean this went on for years of me struggling and and feeling sick and w having to wear a wig on TV and wondering if the guests noticed the netting and you know, it was very a very uncom and and the weight gain, all the things. And so I went to a functional health nurse, she's a PhD too, so technically she's a doctor. Took one look at it and she said, You you're way over medicated. Your T4 and your T three of your of your thyroids do not need to be equally medicated. I'm gonna compound that medication for you. And and within I would say two weeks, I started feeling better. And then ⁓ she balanced I went through HRT hormone replacement therapy. I've got my hormones balanced. I've lost about twenty five pounds. ⁓ my hair has grown back. I did have to wear the wig for quite some time because I couldn't even wear like one of those halos because you could see the, you know, the the the the actual like what the the almost like the fish real fart, you know, like it's like that clear you could see it. My scalp was showing so much from so much hair loss. So ⁓ so yeah, so that and and and Serendipity is what brought it together. It was the show and experts like yourself that I was learning from. We would almost they would make jokes in my ear because we wear something called an IFB so the producer can talk to you while you know you're in the show or you're real time. And a lot of times when I'd be talking to experts like yourself, they get in my ear and jokingly say, Is this Gail's personal like, you know, psychiatry session or is this your counseling session for the day? Because I would get so wrapped up in everything that experts like yourself were saying, I was learning alongside the viewer. And I think it helps when you do tell a real story, you know, that then people can relate to when we're transparent that we're not, you know, sitting there with no experience at all in these things. ⁓ so you found the functional medicine extremely helpful and I I'm a huge believer in it, you know. I don't know, people don't know that it's a very preventive approach. It's not a disease ⁓ illness-based approach, it's a wellness-based approach. But then the connection then with love and relationships and attachment, I find that gets missed in both directions. I find traditional doctors don't really, and and maybe some of the functional medicine too, don't ask. How is the rest of your life? And how are you? What's happening? ⁓ you know, do you have people around you? Do you have supports? And then, you know, sometimes they're treating it as ⁓ a psychological illness. I've had what you have just talked about that people have been sent to me and been told, ⁓ well, you have anxiety, this is panic attacks, and you know it need to go see a therapist. And meanwhile, They haven't done the appropriate blood testing. They haven't even asked if someone has just had had a change in medication. you know, so we're not putting it all together the wholeness of the whole being. I know recently I went through I had a kidney stone and ⁓ it all happened very, very quickly. And so I had to go there by myself to the emergency room and was ended up being told that I needed to stay and wait to go into the OR and ⁓ my family is out of state, so you know I could only just call them. But I had a few friends, actually some of them very, very new, like a two month old friendship. And do you know a few people were texting me and say I could call them like every hour on that hour that I was waiting in the ER holding pen or whatever it was. And do you know what a difference that made for me to know? I had two in particular that were just such brand new friends and they were so consistent and there and like, you know, text anytime when you come out of the surgery, even if you're not making sense. I'm here, I'll pick it up. You know, so it's so important. Can we heal the physical vessel, we'll call it, if the heart and soul are relationally starving. No. I wouldn't believe so. I I I I don't think it's possible. And I and I get it. Not everyone's going to be in a space in their life where they might have a loving spouse or partner. I get that. ⁓ but to your point, ⁓ friendships, which because of what I described earlier on in your podcast of waking up at 1 30 in the morning and you know having all of this like departmentalized time and family came first and ⁓ I didn't really have the opportunity to nurture a lot of friendships. But you know what? ⁓ when I got on Bloom I started making those friends and I I it was hard because you don't know where to begin. You've been out of practice of it. But that that kind of com and even if you can find one good one, like you said, a new a I have a a relatively new friend. We've been friends for three to four years and it feels like we've been friends a lifetime. And ⁓ so I think that's really important. And I think another thing that really, really helped me on a personal level, and this is not ⁓ this is not Gail trying to sound preachy. I'm just saying this is what worked for me. I found a really great church community. I I I my pastor's like the Tony Robbins of Jesus. I mean the guy that the guy could drive home a message like nobody's business. You know, I I look at it and when I go in and I put money in and they're passing it around. To me, it's like going to a Broadway show between the music and the energy and the messaging. You know, I leave feeling, you know, fulfilled. And then I have met people through that, women, entrepreneurial women that started their own small group as they call ⁓ and made great friends. And you get around like kind people and you're talking about your challenges and your fears and all of these things. And it's really such a beautiful thing. And that didn't happen overnight. I didn't I didn't find the perfect match right away. I had to go from one place to the next place to the next place. But I do think we should all be seeking out and it doesn't have to be church. It could be whatever feeds your soul. Yeah. Whatever we want to call it. Right. Universe, God. Yes. Yes. Any of the religions or your own intuition or your own belief in yourself, your own energy. It's so important to be connected to something. You know, we know that these are the best medicine is I think they c say there's four or five of the best doctors are like sun, ⁓ salt water, fresh air, being in the forest, and then love and relationships. Yes. So and it's it's so critical. So ⁓ what do you feel is the key to, you know. Combining and collaborating this idea of love as like I call it love is like the ultimate prescription for wellness. Well, it it's it's like I said, I feel like just like anything else in life, like if you wanna lose weight, then you're gonna have to start eating the right foods. If you wanna look more toned, well then, you know, you're gonna have to go out and and hit a gym or take a nice long walk. ⁓ I like to put my dog in a backpack and look like a crazy woman with the crazy dog lady walking with her dog in a backpack. You if you want relationships, you have to nurture them yourself. You have to be the person that goes out and looks for them. And that can be scary because I I know this will be very, very hard for you to believe, but through like a lot of EMDR and hypnosis and somatic therapy. I went from being a painfully shy person, like you could put me in front of a camera all day, invite me to a baby shower, and I would come up with a million reasons to not to not show up at your party because I had such a fear of social anxiety. ⁓ and and and it still tries to rear its ugly head from time to time. You know, I was asked to be on this board of directors for a very prestigious hospital and They were having a gathering at the big one buck place. I literally had to go sit in a bathroom stall for 10 minutes to calm myself in order to go out. So finding friends and putting myself out there was not an easy journey. So if there's something stopping you from doing that, and there's stopping you from making these corrections, I think it's critically important that you find, you know, an expert like yourself. to talk to and how are you gonna get past that? Because that's how important relationships are. Yeah, yeah. And I also find if people trust their own intuition, the right things, the right people will find you. I think people get so desperate sometimes, you know, in finding solutions and they're chasing it, whether it be the physical. you know, I worked with someone a little while ago who was convinced with like obsessive thoughts that she everything that her doctor said, well maybe you should come back in a couple of months. Nothing, you know, no doctor was telling her she was in emergency situation, whatever it was. And she had herself so convinced that she had a serious illness that possibly a brain tumor, or, you know, she was told her breast was dense and she was like, I know I have breast cancer and all these negative, negative thoughts. And the more you focus on that, you know, you're more you're gonna create stress in your body. I know you mentioned ⁓ the body keeps the score, which is a classic in my field of how we store trauma in the body and how it then shows up as disease. And a lot of the experts in trauma believe that most of illness is created through the distress of of some kind of trauma. I I one hundred percent ⁓ believe that and you know, it's interesting because ⁓ you know, I said I I I learned through the show and along with the viewers and and I was doing a story on EMDR and again I didn't have a camera crew but I I went to a woman very skilled in it in the Tampa Bay area with my intern and I just needed cover video. ⁓ I I I didn't go there for any kind of treatment protocol. I I went there 'cause I needed the viewer to understand visually what this looks like and what so she's mapping all of my head and she's putting all the things and and I'm with the paddles and we're talking and you know the intern's getting video and after it was all said and done and she goes, permission to speak freely, we can ask the intern to leave if you'd like. And I'm like, no then the the intern can hear whatever you have to say. So she popped up my brain mapping. And this is part of Dr. Daniel Eamon's, you know, protocol. She pops it up and she goes, Girl, you are white-knuckling your way through life. You have so much unresolved trauma that I could see in one space and like darkness in the front where you're not allowing those two to connect. And until you resolve that, there's gonna be so many things in your life that won't be freed because it's held in your body through trauma. But whether it's a big T or a little T, you know, it's there and We gotta break that down and we've gotta go back and figure out what's causing what I'm seeing on these brain maps. So I think on a scientific level, you know, you can look at it as this is not the new woo. This is this is something that's really being greatly studied right now and people need to pay attention to the fact that their body will you know, it be it's almost like you're manifesting disease in your body. ⁓ absolutely, because it's it's getting way deep down in there in the gut, you know, which is a wellness, you know. ⁓ I don't know if you're familiar with the work of Dr. Helen Fisher, Rutger's neuroanthropologist, who studied the brain in love in in all aspects of love. Lust, attraction, ⁓ first getting to know each other, falling in love, committed love, breakups, and she documented ⁓ the release of the dose chemicals, the dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins, the love chemicals we call them. And so we know, you know, that the brain actually changes when we're in stressful situations or when we're in peaceful situations. ⁓ I also just read recently from Dr. Mark Hyman that ⁓ they're finding that people going out and walking in the forest. is more effective than anti anxiety medication. Okay. Without a doubt. I I actually at the ⁓ Canned Film Festival, actually prior to that, then I met up with her again at the Canned Film Festival ⁓ recently, I met a woman that is ⁓ helping people balance their circadian rhythm. And you know, a a lot of it is from being grounded, putting your feet in the ground, you know, all of these things. Now hers is revolves around a a ⁓ a supplementation. It's really a fascinating story. ⁓ but that's for a whole different podcast. But the point of it is, is that we we need that balance in life. And as we grow older, our circadian rhythm flatlines. And you need that ebb and flow in life. You need that walk in the forest. You need your feet feeling the you need your cup of coffee out in the sun if you live in a climate where you can do that. You know, we've lost touch in this digital age of connectivity not just with others, yes, but with ⁓ but with nature. And nature is again goes back to whatever that whatever you want to call it, whatever you want to label it, but that is the connection that heals us far before they came up with synthetic pharmaceuticals to do the trick for us. Absolutely. And this is the topic that I'm on right now. I'm calling it relational ROI, return of investment that if we don't keep the old school ways of connecting, we're gonna be in trouble because our ancient wisdom and we're not meeting face to face. You know, ⁓ this there's studies that have come out recently about ⁓ they did 3D eye tracking of primates ⁓ in Amsterdam and then a study in Yale and a few more things are coming out now about how the mood and the physical health and the well-being plummet. when they go from person to person or animal to animal contact, and then when they go to ⁓ video on Zoom and then just to audio and then to nothing. ⁓ and the the neurons actually the conclusion was that they're calling it brain dimming. Our brains are like literally going half asleep. The last one I read was from Cincinnati Children's Hospital and they talked about that children's brains are not developing. They are actually having less grey and white matter than in previous time periods. So I believe it. I I believe you know it's interesting because I've raised four daughters. The youngest I'm about to be an empty nester and ⁓ which I'm devastated about. But ⁓ but I never during all of this gaming And all of that stuff. If it to be honest with you, I literally just got back in a hike through nature up here in Michigan with my youngest daughter and her friends. And they're and right and they're out living together. They're in town getting ice cream right now while I'm doing this. They're picking up a few items for me at the grocery store. I think parents need to go back to you said, if we lose the old school way of living, we're in a lot of trouble. And People might not see the brain scans, but to your point, there's studies being done that show that our kids aren't developing as they should. Yeah. And you know what my point is is it doesn't have to be either AI and all the technology, or we stay connected all school. It can be both and you know no reason why, yes, it's exciting what AI is doing. I've been using it professionally and then I kinda used it a little personally and it's kind of been fun, but you have to be careful also. It can kind of hallucinate at times. And I learned that that's actually a technical term that they're using about AI. It can go like off the rails. So it doesn't have to be that we we don't, you know, learn the technical skills and enjoy what it can do. And we can keep the old school, the eye contact, the meeting face to face, you know, shaking a hand, hugs. Kisses, holding one another, all of that stuff that we know nurtures our health and well being. Yeah. So, Gail, I wanted to get back to you. You mentioned being in Cannes, and I mentioned in the beginning of the intro that you're working on launching the Health Network News H N S. Actually, that it it's the Health News Network, H N N Network. It yes, and it's the brainchild of ⁓ Anthony and Teresa Lally, who have a very prominent place in ⁓ the ⁓ the the documentary space and in the magazine space. And we all went to the Cannes Film Festival to see the release of their latest film, Shield, as in She Healed, they brought it together, healed, that I found out about through a mutual friend of ours, JJ Burgeon. So everybody goes to the Canon Film Festival and it was a remarkable documentary. And at that event, they announced that they are rolling out what is HNN Health News Network. And I'm not just saying this because I'm a part of it, but I'm saying it's one of the most brilliant ideas that anyone's really ever come up with. If you think of what ESPN is for sports, HNN is for health and wellness and what it does. is it gives doctors, healthcare providers, researchers a platform that they own and they can operate it in the way that they want to. And so needed that it all come together. I mean there's so much out there and some of it not very solid. I get a little concerned about some of the things I see in here. but it'll be great to have that all together. And Gail you for what you're doing for wellness and ⁓ you know it's just humanity needs to hear your message now thank you and you too right back at you I think it's incredible and I I so enjoyed our conversations ⁓ you were and I'm not just saying this because I'm on your show right now but you really were one of my all-time favorite guests because it was real time talk about a subject that people aren't talking about enough. And when you feel alone or you feel lost and you don't know how to th who do you call to help you with your love life? Who do you call to help you with your relationship? There's ⁓ not a lot out there of just real conversations that kind of break down those barriers. Well, I'm keeping it simple, the return to love. And I was so impressed because I could actually say the word sex on your show and I know you know, it cracks me up. It's actually infuriating. I know at least on TikTok. You're not allowed to say that word at all. You'll have to use like a code word or a like a made up word. And I'm like, why can't we just say it? See see, we're back to HNN. You could say sex. Like I had a doctor come on my ⁓ my my functional health doctor that I go to now. ⁓ she wanted to talk about vaginal rejuvenation, but on my show, ⁓ they were like, Well, you can't say the word vagina. So she's like Well, I she's like, I come on the show and she goes, and the first thing you do is blurt out vagina. And I'm like And I'm like, it's so ridiculous that you cannot say a female's anatomy. It's ridiculous. But ⁓ Well, hopefully maybe that will change on the new network where we can actually say the correct words. And it's I remember when we met and after the first time I was with you and I was leaving and I heard you say, She's the new Doctor Ruth. Yes, but you are. And and no one's really built those shoes when you think about it. No, really, you know, she used to use the words and ⁓ the and also, you know, there was another person too, I forget her name, but she was a nurse, but she was about seventy-five years old also. And you know, unless you're seventy five and eighty years old, it's not okay to talk about sex. So I'm hoping we bring it all back because a hundred percent. part of our total wellness to be touched, to be held, to be loved, and you know, to do the healing that you went through and that your messaging is saying now. ⁓ you know, total wellness encompassing all of it, I think is just a beautiful message. And thank you for what you're doing. I can't wait to hear what happens next with Thank you. Yeah. And thank you so much for including me on your podcast. It was a pleasure. Well, thank you for coming. We really appreciate you. Take good care. You too.