Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S3 E7 - The New Ten Commandments
Transcript
- 0:01SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show, the funniest podcast ever.
- 0:07SPEAKER_00: Hey people, I don't write the words, I just read them.
- 0:11SPEAKER_00: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
- 0:17SPEAKER_00: Write us a review while you're there, too.
- 0:19SPEAKER_01: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
- 0:23SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you, Johnny and Jeff.
- 0:25SPEAKER_01: What a great evening to be back in the studio.
- 0:28SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean Thanksgiving was a tremendous holiday here with my mom and little Stevie.
- 0:33SPEAKER_01: We're going headlong, head first, headway into the holiday season.
- 0:38SPEAKER_01: Now, how was your Thanksgiving, Jeff?
- 0:40SPEAKER_02: It was great.
- 0:41SPEAKER_02: First of all, I really enjoyed spending time in the studio with you and your mom and Miss Claire and little Stevie.
- 0:49SPEAKER_02: Isn't she the best?
- 0:50SPEAKER_02: My mom is not the other.
- 0:52SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, you know, and little Stevie, uh might be some speech issues there, but I understood what her message was, which was, you know, but I love you.
- 1:01SPEAKER_02: I think that was her way, little Stevie's way of saying I love you, which is you know adorable.
- 1:05SPEAKER_01: But uh it's like that old Louis Armstrong song, you know, people say, How do you do?
- 1:10SPEAKER_01: They're really saying I love you.
- 1:12SPEAKER_01: Well, when she says, cheap bastard, she's really saying I love you.
- 1:16SPEAKER_01: That's her way.
- 1:17SPEAKER_02: That's the way I'm interpreting it.
- 1:19SPEAKER_01: It wasn't Louis Armstrong's way, but it's her way, you know.
- 1:21SPEAKER_01: What can I tell you?
- 1:22SPEAKER_02: And you can make an argument that that's sort of the attitude that I'm gonna bring to life in general, is to look for the good side of things and and not and not to be negative.
- 1:34SPEAKER_02: You know, we've we've been pretty negative for a while, and I think it's good that that we're gonna be a little more positive and and God knows we have a lot to be thankful for.
- 1:42SPEAKER_02: Uh oh, yes.
- 1:43SPEAKER_02: You know, everything's great in my family.
- 1:46SPEAKER_01: And uh, and what about you?
- 1:48SPEAKER_01: Couldn't agree more.
- 1:49SPEAKER_01: Things are going so great, and I agree with you that spending time with family, especially with young kids.
- 1:54SPEAKER_01: I mean, little Stevie might be an extreme example, but you know, spend time with young kids to really show them what what the holiday means.
- 2:02SPEAKER_01: Got a great example of that.
- 2:03SPEAKER_01: I was uh at I don't know if you know this, Jeff, but I volunteer as a Sunday school teacher.
- 2:07SPEAKER_01: I didn't know that.
- 2:08SPEAKER_01: I mean that's wonderful.
- 2:10SPEAKER_01: You would be surprised how many laughs I get when I say that, but I do, all right.
- 2:14SPEAKER_01: I do, and you know, it's fun.
- 2:16SPEAKER_01: It's I like to hear children's take on uh the world and the religion and everything.
- 2:22SPEAKER_01: And I sometimes I think they're smarter than we are.
- 2:26SPEAKER_02: Children say the darndest things, they do indeed.
- 2:29SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna write that down.
- 2:30SPEAKER_01: That'd be a name of a good book.
- 2:31SPEAKER_01: Wow.
- 2:32SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna write that down.
- 2:33SPEAKER_01: It was a Woody Allen, he might have said that about I think Woody Allen probably said that a few times, but I think he probably said that.
- 2:41SPEAKER_01: I really had a great example of that last Sunday.
- 2:44SPEAKER_01: I teach seven-year-olds and Johnny one again.
- 2:47SPEAKER_01: Now it's not our Johnny the announcer, it's my mom's you know, uh significant other.
- 2:52SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
- 2:53SPEAKER_01: It's some little kid named Johnny, just happens to be named Johnny.
- 2:56SPEAKER_01: So I didn't know no connection.
- 2:58SPEAKER_01: I asked Johnny a question about going to heaven.
- 3:01SPEAKER_01: So I asked him, I said, if I went to church every week and I follow the Ten Commandments, will I get to heaven?
- 3:07SPEAKER_01: You know, Johnny Johnny said no.
- 3:09SPEAKER_01: I was I yeah, I was like, wow, Johnny, let me try this.
- 3:13SPEAKER_01: If I sell my house, my car, all my other possessions, give all the money to the church, will I go to heaven?
- 3:21SPEAKER_01: Johnny said no.
- 3:23SPEAKER_01: I was still, I was still, I was getting concerned here now.
- 3:26SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm running out of tricks here, right?
- 3:29SPEAKER_01: So I so then I said to Johnny, if I spent my my whole rest of my life being charitable, loving my family, being kind to everybody I meet, would I get into heaven then?
- 3:41SPEAKER_01: Johnny said, No.
- 3:42SPEAKER_01: Geez.
- 3:43SPEAKER_02: So now it sounds sounds really hard to get to heaven.
- 3:46SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's so I say, So Johnny, how do I get to heaven?
- 3:51SPEAKER_01: Johnny says, Well, first you gotta be dead.
- 3:56SPEAKER_01: So I think sometimes, you know, they see things that we miss.
- 4:00SPEAKER_01: Okay, yes, that is the first step.
- 4:03SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
- 4:04SPEAKER_02: And kids do saying the darndest things, as we said.
- 4:07SPEAKER_02: And and speaking of the Ten Commandments, I was going through my computer and kind of catching up, you know, after Thanksgiving.
- 4:15SPEAKER_02: And did you get that email from the new administration?
- 4:18SPEAKER_02: It was titled something like updated 10 commandments, and that it would begin in January.
- 4:24SPEAKER_02: I I don't know.
- 4:25SPEAKER_02: I did you did you find that?
- 4:27SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I got that.
- 4:28SPEAKER_01: I I I think everybody got it, you know, at least those who can afford, you know, a computer and a smartphone.
- 4:34SPEAKER_01: And you know, I mean, if you can't, well, the rest will find out, but they didn't find out maybe the way we did.
- 4:39SPEAKER_01: They might find out, you know, more officially, if you know what I mean.
- 4:43SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's kind of a good idea.
- 4:44SPEAKER_02: It's one of those practical things where, you know, sometimes I look at the Ten Commandments and it feels out of date, you know.
- 4:51SPEAKER_02: Some of the stuff, it the way it's phrased and the emphasis, just it it doesn't feel current.
- 4:59SPEAKER_02: And so updating it's you know, probably a good idea.
- 5:02SPEAKER_01: Well, and and and so many attempts have been made in various churches to make religion relatable to the modern world.
- 5:11SPEAKER_01: And I think this is another good step, maybe in that direction.
- 5:14SPEAKER_01: In fact, I think let's face it, Jeff, for the millions that are listening and for the part of them that maybe didn't get this because they don't have a smartphone, right?
- 5:23SPEAKER_01: You know, I think we should look at and discuss those new Ten Commandments.
- 5:28SPEAKER_01: And I think maybe by going through them and elucidating them, I don't know that that will get us to heaven, which I'm thinking, given these new commandments, I'm thinking heaven is like that blue check mark.
- 5:40SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
- 5:41SPEAKER_01: So I don't know that we'll get the blue check mark, but I think we may help a lot of our listeners.
- 5:47SPEAKER_01: So I I I think we should review these.
- 5:49SPEAKER_02: I think we should too.
- 5:50SPEAKER_02: I before I forget though, does it seem to you like a lot of our stories at the beginning of our show have the name Johnny in them?
- 5:58SPEAKER_01: They do.
- 5:58SPEAKER_01: Well, it's uh Johnny is a very common name, very common.
- 6:02SPEAKER_02: There are so many Johnny popular now, yeah.
- 6:04SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, it used to be everybody was named Johnny, and then for a while, you know, their their names were changing, and you know, more current, you know, popular names, but Dylan and that kind of stuff.
- 6:16SPEAKER_01: Well, back in our day, you had Johnny Mathis, Johnny Rivers, Johnny Dillinger.
- 6:20SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean, you had all these famous Johnnies.
- 6:23SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
- 6:23SPEAKER_02: So, anyways, I didn't mean to get us off track here, but I am interested to hear about these new Ten Commandments.
- 6:29SPEAKER_01: I got good feelings about it.
- 6:31SPEAKER_01: I got the list here.
- 6:32SPEAKER_01: Let me see.
- 6:32SPEAKER_01: Um I'll just read them one at a time and then maybe maybe we can discuss and help elucidate them.
- 6:37SPEAKER_01: This is kind of like my Sunday school class.
- 6:39SPEAKER_01: I this is kind of what I do.
- 6:41SPEAKER_01: This is kind of cool.
- 6:42SPEAKER_02: So Sunday school class of the air.
- 6:45SPEAKER_02: That's right.
- 6:45SPEAKER_02: And historically, historically, since the beginning of the Ten Commandments, people smarter than us have been looking at those commandments, looking at the Bible, looking at the message through the Bible and interpreting it one way or another.
- 6:59SPEAKER_02: So this will be sort of the beginning of an interpretation of the new Ten Commandments, right?
- 7:05SPEAKER_02: Which I'm sure many, many people will be interpreting it differently in the future.
- 7:09SPEAKER_02: But I think this is a good chance for us to get this thing started.
- 7:12SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
- 7:13SPEAKER_01: I mean, we may get a later commentary, but by doing this so early on in the process, we can be, if you will, the Maimonides.
- 7:22SPEAKER_01: We could be the Saint Jerome, we could be the one that really lays it down, and then everybody else uh deals with the edges.
- 7:29SPEAKER_01: The Saint Johnnies, the Saint Johnny's, yes, exactly.
- 7:32SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
- 7:33SPEAKER_01: So go here.
- 7:34SPEAKER_01: Let's look.
- 7:35SPEAKER_01: Okay, commandment number one thou shalt remember that the United States is our land, not your land.
- 7:43SPEAKER_01: None of that Woody Guthrie lefty socialist thing.
- 7:47SPEAKER_01: No, we're all in this together.
- 7:49SPEAKER_01: Oh no, no, no, no.
- 7:50SPEAKER_01: No, we're not.
- 7:51SPEAKER_02: No, and and the word our, yeah, I think what they're really saying here is that it's not your land, it's our land, and we represent you.
- 8:06SPEAKER_02: Oh so you know, we represent a bigger group instead of just saying you individually.
- 8:12SPEAKER_01: Oh that that you know, and see this is this is the value of discussing it because you know, Jeff, a lot of people would read that and they would read it to paraphrase, they would read it like I got mine F you is how a lot of people would read that.
- 8:26SPEAKER_01: But discussing it, see now we bring it out, it's ours, not yours.
- 8:30SPEAKER_01: It's uh so we are all in this together.
- 8:33SPEAKER_02: Well, and not only that, but you have a lot of people out there who are just unqualified to be part owner of the United States and of our land.
- 8:42SPEAKER_02: And so absolutely by saying our, I think that's the selective hour.
- 8:46SPEAKER_02: I think it's it may not be the royal hour, it's the selective hour, it's the the right people who will own this land, right?
- 8:53SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, and I think that's great, that's outstanding.
- 8:56SPEAKER_01: Listen, number two here.
- 8:58SPEAKER_01: Remember our dear leader and revere him as your ultimate leader and the son of God.
- 9:04SPEAKER_01: Why don't you take a crack at that?
- 9:06SPEAKER_01: I guess you could say, in a way, we're all children of God, right?
- 9:09SPEAKER_01: So yeah, you know, what the heck?
- 9:12SPEAKER_01: He's not saying he's the only son of God, he's saying he's a child of God.
- 9:17SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I would go with that.
- 9:19SPEAKER_02: Uh we probably all are children of God, right?
- 9:22SPEAKER_02: Yes.
- 9:22SPEAKER_01: Oh, we all we all are.
- 9:24SPEAKER_01: Now we're not all dear leaders, but we are all children of God.
- 9:28SPEAKER_02: Yes, no, but there can only be one leader, you know.
- 9:31SPEAKER_02: A leader is there's not like leaders, it's leader, right?
- 9:35SPEAKER_02: So if it was leaders, it would remember our dear leaders.
- 9:39SPEAKER_01: If everybody's in charge, then nobody's in charge.
- 9:42SPEAKER_01: You know, everybody's in charge, you got you got chaos, right?
- 9:45SPEAKER_01: So we can't let everybody be making those personal decisions for themselves.
- 9:51SPEAKER_01: You know, it's got to be coordinated.
- 9:53SPEAKER_01: You're so right.
- 9:54SPEAKER_01: Wow.
- 9:54SPEAKER_01: Number three, you know, a lot of people are gonna misinterpret this one.
- 9:57SPEAKER_01: We really gotta talk about this one here.
- 9:59SPEAKER_01: Number three, honor each whim of those who have money because they are the truly blessed, not you.
- 10:06SPEAKER_02: Yes, it seems it seems almost obvious to me that somebody's worth when you know we use that term, you know, what is someone worth?
- 10:14SPEAKER_02: Well, worth means value, right?
- 10:16SPEAKER_02: Value means money, right?
- 10:18SPEAKER_02: And so it's common sense that if you have the money, then you are probably blessed.
- 10:23SPEAKER_02: And if you don't have the money, then you're not.
- 10:25SPEAKER_01: I don't know the whole concept of war, I mean net worth, right?
- 10:29SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's right there in the phrase, net worth.
- 10:32SPEAKER_01: This is makes sense, yes.
- 10:34SPEAKER_01: They have been blessed, and we must honor their whims because their whims are result of that money, right?
- 10:41SPEAKER_02: That's right, which they've earned or inherited, right?
- 10:44SPEAKER_02: You know, which means there's the same thing, right?
- 10:47SPEAKER_02: Inherited, earned.
- 10:48SPEAKER_02: It's it's their money.
- 10:49SPEAKER_01: Hey, you you know, you think it's easy to get born into a wealthy family?
- 10:52SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
- 10:53SPEAKER_01: Hey, you gotta work hard to it.
- 10:55SPEAKER_01: I don't know, but yeah, I couldn't.
- 10:56SPEAKER_01: I missed.
- 10:57SPEAKER_01: I'm you know, I'm from the future.
- 10:58SPEAKER_01: I've missed hundreds of times, just hasn't happened yet, you know, but one of these days, maybe.
- 11:03SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
- 11:04SPEAKER_01: Me too.
- 11:04SPEAKER_01: So good so far.
- 11:05SPEAKER_01: Okay.
- 11:06SPEAKER_01: Number four.
- 11:07SPEAKER_01: Okay, number four.
- 11:08SPEAKER_01: Number four is yeah, it kind of has a ring, something like the old commandments, you know.
- 11:14SPEAKER_01: Uh, number four, we are the party controlling you.
- 11:17SPEAKER_01: Thou shalt have no other political party before us.
- 11:22SPEAKER_01: Well, this kind of relates to, and theologians I know debate this for generations, but this kind of relates to the your land, our land thing.
- 11:32SPEAKER_01: If one particular party is controlling us, then we really can't have another party before them, right?
- 11:40SPEAKER_02: You're absolutely right.
- 11:42SPEAKER_02: And elections have consequences, and yes, they do, right?
- 11:46SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's the whole point.
- 11:47SPEAKER_02: You do an election to decide who's going to have control.
- 11:50SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
- 11:51SPEAKER_02: Is there a difference between controlling or being the chosen party or the chosen people?
- 11:56SPEAKER_02: Or I mean, they were chosen.
- 11:58SPEAKER_02: To me, they're the chosen party, and they're the chosen party.
- 12:02SPEAKER_02: To me, they're chosen, they were chosen, and they're the chosen party.
- 12:05SPEAKER_02: I'm good with that.
- 12:06SPEAKER_01: Ah, number five.
- 12:07SPEAKER_01: See, number five kind of relates to this is see this is how they tie in together.
- 12:12SPEAKER_01: We're getting we're getting the interrelationship of this.
- 12:14SPEAKER_01: Five kind of ties in with three about the money, the money bill.
- 12:17SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
- 12:18SPEAKER_01: Okay.
- 12:18SPEAKER_01: Remember that crimes are committed by lower people, not by dear leader or any of his disciples.
- 12:26SPEAKER_01: Doesn't this just make sense?
- 12:28SPEAKER_01: I mean, if somebody is the dear leader sent by God, could he possibly commit a crime?
- 12:34SPEAKER_02: No, of course not.
- 12:35SPEAKER_02: No, it it's also the you know, if the tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, did it fall?
- 12:41SPEAKER_02: If you can't be prosecuted for something you did wrong, did you really do something wrong?
- 12:46SPEAKER_02: Did you do we didn't do it?
- 12:48SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
- 12:50SPEAKER_02: Only the weakest and the powerless among us are gonna be prosecuted, and they deserve it, and they'll be found guilty because then they did it.
- 12:58SPEAKER_01: If that means they did it, right?
- 13:00SPEAKER_01: That's right, yes, exactly.
- 13:01SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
- 13:02SPEAKER_01: Great, so and and number six is kind of related.
- 13:05SPEAKER_01: Thou shalt not forget that dear leader and his disciples are above the law in all things.
- 13:12SPEAKER_01: Also, remember, you are not just making it very clear that okay, special powers that you don't have.
- 13:20SPEAKER_01: We've got this because we are these blessed people, right?
- 13:24SPEAKER_01: You don't because you know you're not.
- 13:27SPEAKER_02: I don't have anything to say about that.
- 13:29SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, you know, it is the way it is, and and again, we have to remember I guess God gave these new commandments to the new administration.
- 13:37SPEAKER_01: You know, though, Jeff, the same email that sent me this, I've been getting emails for years from that same group saying that God was going to send a chastisement to the United States, he was gonna punish the United States, he was gonna, you know, for all our evil doings.
- 13:53SPEAKER_01: It did occur to me that, like, okay, if he was sent by God, is this it?
- 13:57SPEAKER_01: Is this the punishment?
- 13:59SPEAKER_01: Is this a chastisement?
- 14:00SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe, maybe it is.
- 14:02SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
- 14:02SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
- 14:03SPEAKER_01: Could be number seven.
- 14:05SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, this is really kind of all-encompassing.
- 14:08SPEAKER_01: Thou shalt not ever criticize Project 2025, the Supreme Court, or dear leader, or any disciple.
- 14:17SPEAKER_01: Such heresy will be punished.
- 14:20SPEAKER_01: Well, heresy has always been punished, Jeff.
- 14:23SPEAKER_01: Let's let's be honest about that.
- 14:24SPEAKER_01: There's a way of excluding heretical people or people who are going to disrupt the theology and uh really every religion.
- 14:32SPEAKER_02: I agree with that completely.
- 14:33SPEAKER_02: And accountability is so important in a well-run organization or cult or religion, right?
- 14:40SPEAKER_02: And this is no different.
- 14:41SPEAKER_02: And you're you're absolutely right.
- 14:43SPEAKER_02: I think punishment is a big part.
- 14:45SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's something that comes from the Bible, I'm not sure, but they seem to really be focusing on punishing people for doing the wrong thing, and maybe that will result in people doing the right thing.
- 14:57SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
- 14:57SPEAKER_01: That's exactly it.
- 14:58SPEAKER_01: That's exactly it.
- 15:00SPEAKER_01: If there aren't clear rules, then how do you know what to do?
- 15:03SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so they're gonna make the rules clear, they're not gonna hurt the wrong people.
- 15:07SPEAKER_01: Oh no, no, no, no, they're gonna hurt the people that you know they're breaking these rules here.
- 15:13SPEAKER_01: So talking about not criticizing, it I'm sure your mom and and I know my mom in between cigarettes said to me, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
- 15:24SPEAKER_01: That's right.
- 15:24SPEAKER_01: I mean, you must have heard that a million times in your life, right?
- 15:27SPEAKER_01: Isn't that kind of what they're saying?
- 15:29SPEAKER_01: You know, if you can't say anything nice about any of these groups, just don't criticize them, don't say anything.
- 15:35SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that was embedded in my mind growing up, you know, that and keep your finger out of your nose.
- 15:41SPEAKER_02: Yeah, public.
- 15:42SPEAKER_02: You know, those are the two things that my mom told me constantly.
- 15:45SPEAKER_01: Well, my mom had to correct me if you know I used to scratch a lot, but that but I digress.
- 15:52SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but yeah.
- 15:54SPEAKER_01: Oh, number eight, thou shalt love all people except those we tell you to hate.
- 16:00SPEAKER_01: This one's pretty deep.
- 16:02SPEAKER_01: It's deep, but you know what you have to think about it.
- 16:04SPEAKER_01: Think of all the effort you spend trying to decide hey, do I like somebody?
- 16:08SPEAKER_01: Do I like this person?
- 16:10SPEAKER_01: Are they a good person?
- 16:11SPEAKER_01: You can skip all that effort.
- 16:12SPEAKER_01: If they tell you to hate them, then hey, they're not a good person, right?
- 16:16SPEAKER_01: So that's right.
- 16:18SPEAKER_01: It really frees up so much of your time.
- 16:20SPEAKER_01: It's liberating, in fact.
- 16:22SPEAKER_01: Oppression can be liberating.
- 16:24SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
- 16:25SPEAKER_02: There's a utopian kind of feeling like you should love everybody, and you're not gonna love everybody, and then you feel guilty about not loving some people or hating some people, and this gives you not only the freedom to hate some people, but it tells you who to hate.
- 16:40SPEAKER_01: It just makes it so much simpler.
- 16:42SPEAKER_01: Well, it gives you permission to do what you were gonna do anyway.
- 16:44SPEAKER_01: That's right.
- 16:45SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know you were gonna do that, and just now, okay, now it's okay.
- 16:49SPEAKER_01: That's right.
- 16:49SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
- 16:50SPEAKER_01: Kind of makes sense.
- 16:51SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like incorporating Day of the Dead into the church, you know.
- 16:55SPEAKER_01: It's like, okay, you guys like got this celebration?
- 16:57SPEAKER_01: Hey, I got an idea.
- 16:58SPEAKER_01: We'll make it about all saints.
- 16:59SPEAKER_01: How's that?
- 17:00SPEAKER_01: You know, and it works.
- 17:01SPEAKER_01: And it works out.
- 17:02SPEAKER_01: It's perfect.
- 17:03SPEAKER_01: Completely works out.
- 17:05SPEAKER_01: All right, number nine.
- 17:06SPEAKER_01: Thou shalt report anyone attempting to assert individual rights unless see the important exception, unless it is dear leader or a disciple who can always do whatever they want without any consequences.
- 17:19SPEAKER_02: I have one word for that, obviously.
- 17:22SPEAKER_02: Right?
- 17:23SPEAKER_02: That's that's the way it's supposed to be, you know.
- 17:26SPEAKER_01: Because I mean, how could they beat up and kill people if they were gonna have to face consequences?
- 17:31SPEAKER_01: That's right.
- 17:31SPEAKER_01: I mean, they wouldn't be able to do that, right?
- 17:33SPEAKER_01: How can they steal money day after day if they're gonna face consequences?
- 17:38SPEAKER_01: Doesn't make sense.
- 17:39SPEAKER_02: And it does go back to the one leader, the ruling party, and we just have to accept the fact that we may be sacrificing some of our rights for the betterment of the country.
- 17:51SPEAKER_02: Well, the more rights we sacrifice, the better.
- 17:53SPEAKER_01: There you go, Jeffin.
- 17:54SPEAKER_01: You know, one liter is good, but I always used to buy the two-liter bottles myself.
- 17:58SPEAKER_01: They were I I thought, you know, you get a little more, it's a little cheaper per ounce, you know.
- 18:03SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
- 18:04SPEAKER_01: So, oh, and capping it off, number 10, thou shalt not think any thoughts against dear leader.
- 18:11SPEAKER_01: We can tell.
- 18:12SPEAKER_02: Might be the most important commandment of them both.
- 18:15SPEAKER_02: It is because it sort of takes honor thy father to a new level, a level that includes surveillance.
- 18:23SPEAKER_01: And you know, not everybody had a father that was honorable.
- 18:26SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's there are some people that just have have bad fathers.
- 18:30SPEAKER_01: And this is a lot simpler.
- 18:31SPEAKER_01: It's like, don't worry about honoring anybody, just honor me.
- 18:34SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it makes it so much easier.
- 18:36SPEAKER_01: You know, again, you don't have to spend all that time thinking, hey, should I do this?
- 18:40SPEAKER_01: Should I do that?
- 18:40SPEAKER_01: No, here, very clear.
- 18:42SPEAKER_02: You know, I have to go back and read these again, but on first blush, I I like where they're heading with this.
- 18:48SPEAKER_02: I I do think that one thing they accomplished that I think was really important is that it seemed as though they know what's good for the country based on what God has told them or what they've read in the Bible or whatever.
- 19:02SPEAKER_02: And what's nice about this is all the actions that they did seemed as though they were in conflict with the Bible, not in support of it.
- 19:10SPEAKER_02: And now they've made these two join together.
- 19:13SPEAKER_02: Right.
- 19:13SPEAKER_02: And I think that's important that they have set it up so that there is one voice now that we have a new Ten Commandments that aligns with their actions, now they can go forward.
- 19:27SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like the Supreme Court, right?
- 19:28SPEAKER_02: Supreme Court, you know, used to be Supreme Court would say, ah, you can't do this, you can't do that.
- 19:33SPEAKER_02: But then when you put people in the Supreme Court that are will do whatever you tell them to do, then you're in concert together.
- 19:41SPEAKER_02: And I think that's what they've done here with the with religion.
- 19:44SPEAKER_01: Haven't theologians for thousands of years haven't they tried to reconcile religion with human behavior?
- 19:52SPEAKER_01: And usually it's been trying to change the human behavior based on a religious ideal.
- 19:58SPEAKER_01: But here, these guys, the these commandments, hey, they're saying, you know, that worked for a while, isn't working so well anymore.
- 20:06SPEAKER_01: Why don't we change the commandments to fit the behavior?
- 20:10SPEAKER_01: That's right.
- 20:11SPEAKER_01: It's a simple 180, but it's likely to be more effective, if you know what I mean.
- 20:16SPEAKER_02: Is it Moses going to the mountain versus the mountain coming to Moses, right?
- 20:19SPEAKER_02: I mean the mountain.
- 20:20SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that was the that was Muhammad, yeah.
- 20:22SPEAKER_02: Mohammed, okay.
- 20:23SPEAKER_02: Well, I think Moses went to the mountain a mountain at one point, you know.
- 20:28SPEAKER_02: So I feel good about that.
- 20:30SPEAKER_02: I do have a question, and uh, it's it's a little vague here.
- 20:33SPEAKER_02: Uh maybe it's here somewhere.
- 20:35SPEAKER_02: Where do they get these commandments?
- 20:37SPEAKER_02: Are these commandments that are given to our fearless leader to interpret and restate?
- 20:46SPEAKER_02: Did they find them somewhere?
- 20:48SPEAKER_02: Did you see anything that says how they got them in?
- 20:53SPEAKER_01: Jeff, I I think we could know that they didn't pull these out of a empty bottle of Adderall, let me tell you.
- 21:00SPEAKER_01: These these were probably written by the same people that wrote Project 2025.
- 21:07SPEAKER_02: Another, another sacred document.
- 21:09SPEAKER_01: A sacred document, one of the new sacred texts.
- 21:12SPEAKER_01: If in fact, if this were India, it would be the Vedic texts.
- 21:15SPEAKER_01: This is a way of simplifying and solidifying in people's minds a lot of that hundreds of pages of Project 2025.
- 21:24SPEAKER_01: So I'm sure these were carefully written and carefully scrutinized and then handed to dear leader and who probably wiped wipes some of the Adderall off his nose and you know, and then read them.
- 21:35SPEAKER_02: And probably cleaned up because I know that our fearless leader can actually improve upon the word of God.
- 21:42SPEAKER_02: Uh oh, I think he has said that before, right?
- 21:45SPEAKER_02: So he so yeah, so he can take what God is trying to tell us and he can rewrite it and you know make it better.
- 21:53SPEAKER_02: That's what he does.
- 21:54SPEAKER_02: He just makes everything better.
- 21:56SPEAKER_01: Who on earth can actually say that they have.
- 22:00SPEAKER_01: Never done anything wrong.
- 22:01SPEAKER_01: Never done anything they had to apologize for.
- 22:04SPEAKER_02: Only one person I know.
- 22:06SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 22:06SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
- 22:07SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
- 22:07SPEAKER_02: There's a new sheriff in town.
- 22:09SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 22:10SPEAKER_01: This really is is a new dawn.
- 22:12SPEAKER_01: I hope it doesn't result in a lot of the sectarian strife that we have sometimes seen when religions begin to shift and begin to change.
- 22:21SPEAKER_01: You know, sometimes we see, oh, like the St.
- 22:23SPEAKER_01: Bartholomew's Day massacre.
- 22:25SPEAKER_01: And uh, you know, it's uh hopefully it won't go that far.
- 22:28SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I hope not.
- 22:29SPEAKER_02: And I I maybe the solution here is to sort of put our views of religion to the side and just accept the fact that there's a new religion.
- 22:38SPEAKER_01: Well, I think there is.
- 22:39SPEAKER_01: I think by doing this, they have modified religion to the extent that it is in effect a a new religion.
- 22:46SPEAKER_01: You could call it a novus faithho.
- 22:52SPEAKER_01: Actually, you could call it a you could call it a novus.
- 22:55SPEAKER_01: Well, let's just call it a novus, okay?
- 22:57SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
- 22:58SPEAKER_01: Sorry, we'll just call it a novus.
- 22:59SPEAKER_01: I think this is going to be an important document that literally they'll debate for generations.
- 23:04SPEAKER_02: Or at least for the next four years.
- 23:06SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, yeah.
- 23:07SPEAKER_02: All right, now I feel a little better.
- 23:08SPEAKER_02: I have to admit, when I when I read the text, you know, I I kind of was alarmed, a little bit alarmed, but now I I think I understand where they're going and and I guess where God's going.
- 23:20SPEAKER_02: I I don't know.
- 23:21SPEAKER_02: I I don't see a lot of a lot of God in these Ten Commandments.
- 23:26SPEAKER_02: I maybe maybe I'm wrong, but no, you know, it's more feel godlike.
- 23:31SPEAKER_01: No, no, it's really relating more to the current human personae, if you will.
- 23:38SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's a way of making it more relatable, is you know, people can relate to what they see and what they are experiencing, but maybe can't relate to deeper faith or an unseen faith.
- 23:50SPEAKER_01: So maybe that's the difference that they're making.
- 23:54SPEAKER_01: I think it's great.
- 23:55SPEAKER_01: I suspect in the next few months and few years, there are gonna be some more important changes.
- 24:01SPEAKER_01: And I just want to let our listeners know we're gonna be here to handle and to discuss and help you handle all those important changes.
- 24:10SPEAKER_01: Because that's important, Jeff.
- 24:11SPEAKER_02: And for the the wealthy, the leaders of our of our country, I just want them to know that we're on board, right?
- 24:18SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, we're completely on board.
- 24:20SPEAKER_02: We we're we're 100% in favor of whatever they want us to do, which I think was was that commandment number nine or number eight, I don't remember exactly which one it was, but there's one of them where we have to do everything that they say, and yeah, I'm I'm ready for that.
- 24:37SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just think of all the all the extra time you could you could learn another language and all the time that you are now spending making decisions.
- 24:44SPEAKER_01: Imagine if you didn't have to make any decisions, if they just told you what to do, and go Yavol.
- 24:50SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
- 24:51SPEAKER_01: I think this is so important that I think maybe by doing this, by giving our listeners an interpretation of this, maybe we can get that blue check mark, Jeff.
- 25:02SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
- 25:02SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go back to Johnny and ask him if this'll work.
- 25:04SPEAKER_01: Of course, yeah, okay, gotta be dead.
- 25:06SPEAKER_01: I get that part, but then you know what else?
- 25:08SPEAKER_01: All right, yeah, the other, the other.
- 25:10SPEAKER_01: But I think we should pull a random listener's name at random, which makes him a random listener because we pulled them at random from the department of redundancy department.
- 25:22SPEAKER_01: Yes, exactly, exactly.
- 25:24SPEAKER_01: And I think we should give them gifts, just like the magi gave gifts on that nativity, because this is sort of a 180 nativity, if you get what I mean.
- 25:35SPEAKER_01: You know, it's kind of a U-turn nativity.
- 25:38SPEAKER_02: I think it's a great idea.
- 25:40SPEAKER_01: I took the liberty of uh picking a listener at random.
- 25:43SPEAKER_01: I have Randy Schornstein of uh St.
- 25:46SPEAKER_01: Louis, Missouri.
- 25:47SPEAKER_01: Randy, Randy, you are the proud winner of whatever Johnny tells you.
- 25:52SPEAKER_01: Johnny, what do we have for Randy Schornstein of St.
- 25:55SPEAKER_01: Louis, Missouri?
- 25:56SPEAKER_00: Right, Steve?
- 25:57SPEAKER_00: Randy will fall to his knees in joy when he gets his clean hands on this brand new, rapidly edited, condensed version of the new Bible, with 75% of the references to charity eliminated.
- 26:09SPEAKER_00: Talk about efficiency.
- 26:11SPEAKER_00: No doggie needed here.
- 26:13SPEAKER_00: Plus, it's been immaturely laminated in gold spray paint or somewhere between gold and orange, all yours from the Novus Novus Publishing Cell, part of the Y brand of companies.
- 26:24SPEAKER_00: And for that carefree feeling, Randy will get a four-year supply of forget it, the magical spray that lets anyone forget entirely any random rights they may have had in the past.
- 26:35SPEAKER_00: Just two shots in each nostril, and you'll never know you had any choices ever.
- 26:40SPEAKER_00: Imagine the peace of mind believing you never lost a thing.
- 26:43SPEAKER_00: A product of Appropriation Station, a proud yet troubling member of the Y brand of companies.
- 26:50SPEAKER_00: And least but not last, but also last, he'll be completely freed from that deep state of dependency when his Social Security will be 100% eliminated.
- 27:00SPEAKER_00: No nanny state anymore.
- 27:02SPEAKER_00: Randy will have the bracing adventure of facing retirement totally on his own, a signature product of the Y brand of companies.
- 27:10SPEAKER_00: This has been a stainwashing production in association with FA and FO Media.
- 27:15SPEAKER_00: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you visit the podcast.
- 27:20SPEAKER_00: Find us a review while you're there too.
- 27:22SPEAKER_00: This is Jotty Speaker.
- 27:24SPEAKER_00: I find it refreshing to be told what to do rather than having to make my own decisions.
- 27:29SPEAKER_00: Steve's mom has no trouble telling me what to do, but just tonight in fact, she told me to give a special hello from little Stevie to the authors of these new Dead Commandments.
- 27:39SPEAKER_00: Except for Cleveland Studios won't let me read it on the air.
- 27:43SPEAKER_00: But I think you know what she said.
- 27:47SPEAKER_00: Good night!