Latest / Relatables / GROWING UP INTROVERTED

Transcript

GROWING UP INTROVERTED · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: As it's going good, all of a sudden he lets
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: out the most deadly, eye watering, silent arc no.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have to be in the worst position possible.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like hot air rises and it went directly into
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: my nostrils. My nostrils, if you can just imagine the scenario,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: are the only form of oxygen.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: The Relatables Podcasts is hosted by myself, Jake Craig aka
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Daddy and.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: The Patrick to my SpongeBob. Come on, man, bodie class.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: And everybody listening, our baddies, and we love every single
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: one of you.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Yes we do.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Now, I wanted to start this episode with a question,
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: and within the question is I guess the answer. So,
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: if you're struggling to decide to bring up something that
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: your partner or your friend did because you can't decide
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: if it's bad enough or if you're overreacting, ask yourself,
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: would you downplay it.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: When explaining it to your mum?
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: Hmm okay, so obviously your answer you're implying is talk
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: to your mum about your problems.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: In a sense.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, But I and like, well, I mean I was thinking,
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: like whether or not you bring up, like a situation
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: where your partner or your friend has done something and
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: you're not sure of whether or not you should just
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: like brush under the carpet or if you should bring
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: it up. And so if you're thinking, if you were
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: to explain it to your mum, if you were to
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: say to yourself, like, oh, if I was to tell
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: my mom about situation, would I downplay what they did
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: a little bit to like protect how my mum feels
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: about them your mum's opinion, Yeah, it does, especially if
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: it's your partner friends not as much, but yeah, true
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: friends friends, you can probably tell them what they did
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: and they're just like.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: Gonna And what should you do if you downplay it?
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: Bring it up with the partner, the partner or the friend. Okay,
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: I want to add friend and they're just because I
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: don't know.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I think it is applies to both contexts. I'm a
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: little bit different.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: I think some things you don't always have to talk
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: to your parents about.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Oh no, no no, yeah, no, no no.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: And that's what I mean though, like you don't have
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: to talk to your mom about it.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: But I think one of the hardest things, especially in
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: a relationship, but also friendships, is like you don't want
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: to voice your opinion just because of how it'll make
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: the other person feel, or more so, how the other
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: person will react when they hear what they did, if
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: it's unconsciously doing it.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: Good point, like you don't want to so and the
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: person you know that like they weren't trying to hurt you. Yeah, maybe,
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: And then so you don't want to bring it up because,
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: like you know, because it's gonna hurt, because guilt feels
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: like shit. And when you accidentally do something and then
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: someone goes, oh they really hurt my feeling, you're like, oh,
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: I'm so.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Sorry, and yeah.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: The hardest thing also in a relationship is like feeling
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: like you're too much for the other person. It's just
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: like human nature, and you think, am I being over dramatic?
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: And should I just brush this under the carpet? So
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: maybe it is a good technique, like if you would
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: downplay it to one of your parents when telling them
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: a story, then is definitely worth bringing up with your
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: friend or partner, Like.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: It's a big enough problem. It is a good little tip. Maybe.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I can't say I've ever used it.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think you're going to think that deeply,
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: but maybe if you unconsciously do it, like you're talking
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: to your mum about your problems. Yeah, and then you
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: say like, I don't know, I leave out the part
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: where you got blackout drunk in a story and you
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: did something. Yeah, I'm like, oh, maybe it is a
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: big enough problem than I should bring it up with Jake, Yeah,
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: because like that's really bad.
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And I'm always I definitely in the past have
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: gone to my parents thinking like they're probably the best
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: people to go to with the relationship problems.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: And I think even up until I mean pretty recently,
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: I probably would have thought that, but I've kind of
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: shifted into like a I don't know if it's actually
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: like the best idea to go to your parents with that,
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: because they're going to be so on your side kind
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: of regardless.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: The very one sided. They're going to pick their blood.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Like even if you were to like cheat on a spouse,
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: you know, your parents aren't going to stop loving you.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: They're going to be like you idiot, but they're still
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: on your side.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: So even if they're on your side for the worst
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: thing or like anything minor, they're still just going to
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: be on your side, so it's kind of hard to
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: get good advice if.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Someone's just going to be on your side.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: I think the best thing for parents the older I'm
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: growing is they're really good for advice, but they're not
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: there for all your answers, like yeah, like obviously taking
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: too consideration what your parents are saying because they're very
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: important people in your life.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: But growing up, I used to think my parents.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: Are always right yeah, yeah, or same yeah, and they're
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: right sometimes, don't get me wrong. But the older I'm getting,
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: the more I'm realizing that what they're saying is just
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: their opinion and I should shouldn't use that as like
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: the pure reason.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Why I make a decision. Very very good point.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: Especially there's been point when I'm talking about parents and like,
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: they mean, they have the best intentions.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: But then sometimes I'm like, I know right now that
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: you're wrong. Yeah.
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: Sometimes you think like, oh you are yeah, yeah, you
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: are very gen xso you were born in different times.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: It's just being human.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: It's the same thing we've talked We've talked about, like
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: you think teachers are always right in school. When the
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: older you grow up, you just realize that they're normal
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: people who are like got the most middle education ever.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: It's the same with your parents.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: You think they're right and they can do no wrong,
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: but they're just figuring it out like we are. Well, yeah,
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: I mean the teacher one is crazy, Like I don't
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: know why we put teachers on a pedestal. I mean
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: I wanted someone made a comment actually, like I do
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: value teachers in the job very much, so yeah, and
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: I'm not taking that away from them, but it's just
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: also like we put them on this massive pedestal.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: But that is normal people.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: They are, Yeah, and they're they're very normal people. I
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: think they like they deserve a pedestal.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: It's a hard job.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: You're not taking it away from how hard the job is. Yeah,
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: mentioning that they're normal people.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: But it's so funny because I'm trying to actually trying
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: to think.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: It's a very good point.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: You always think like a teacher's opinion while you're growing up.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Your teacher can like really what the mood they're in,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, is like fucking what your mood is thinking
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: about the effects.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: If you like that whole class facts, bro, if you'd.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Like it on a school, did you ever have a
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: teacher Have you got something so you're we're twenty four,
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: Have you got to teach out a game of why
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: you've been out of the game for a while. I
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: got that ten year reunion in a few years.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Ah, So have you.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Did you ever have a teach you're like, you know
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: how everyone maybe has a story of like all this
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: one teacher did this, like change my life. It's always
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: stuck with me. Have you got something like that?
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't say life changing? Yeah. Teachers did like me though. Yeah.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: I think it was because I wasn't the smartest kid
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: in the class, but I tried a lot.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, like that was good.
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I could call it like I was a hard
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: work I was never the smartest, but I worked hard
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: and like I think teachers appreciated that I was trying. Yep,
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: more so than being like the smarty pants. Nothing life changing,
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: I would say, just the sooner I got treated like
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: a human being rather than a student, yep, is what
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: changed my schooling experience, which happened in like year ten,
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: maybe a bit early for me year ten, but a
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: lot of people happens in year eleven.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, it didn't happen for me at all.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I left after so I didn't get your eleven
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: and twelve, so.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: You don't have there.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: They don't have this moment of like this teacher's just
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: like changed your life and that's just like why you
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: are where you are.
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: I've got a couple things in my mind where like
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: teachers were being really nice to me and showing me
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: how things worked, and it was sort of now looking
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: back at how the world worked, but nothing at the time,
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: I was like, this.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Has changed my life because I mean some of them
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: are fucking sick.
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: There was one time it was actually one of our friends, Mums,
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: was a teacher. Yeah, and I did really good in
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: business and she submitted my business report to like this,
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: I don't know something in Australia where you present your
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: business report instnd of in front of actual business people.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Oh shit okay, And I was like, no, I don't
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: want to do that.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: Enough business.
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: My business report was really good, okay, And she submitted
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: it anyway, and I got accepted to like I don't know,
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: it was like top ten in like New South Wales
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: or some shit. Oh shit, and she's like, oh, you
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: got accepted, You've got to go. I was like, I
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: don't want to talk in front of these people.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: What are you doing here?
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: Mate?
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Should be running a business? And I remember this sort
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: of is a life changing thing.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: And she picked me up from my house, took me
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: there and like babied me because I was.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Like so nervous and she wanted you to go so bad.
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: Well, I've always been so introverted in school, and I
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: was like, I don't want to talk in.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Front of all these random people. Yeah.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: I think there's also a misconception on this pod that
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: we're so extroverted because we like put all of our
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: thoughts onto the world, but were in a safe environment.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Ye yea yeah, yea yea yea yeah.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: And maybe that was a little bit of a life
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: changing experience if you remember it. She thought something was
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: special about me and she put the effort.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: In yeah, very nice, which is life changing.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to I thought the reason I asked you
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: was actually randomly.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I thought about this not long ago.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: And I don't have like a.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: A I have.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: I have a year four teacher, right or no, year five, sorry,
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: year five teacher that I remember as my favorite teacher ever.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: But he never like just did.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: Anything, and you never said a single thing that changed
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: my life. But he I just remember him as being
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: a really good teacher. And I liked school at that time.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but who didn't like school? In like you five? True?
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: Like he made a fun He taught us to play chess.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: That's pretty cool. I'm not very good at chess, but
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: I had to play it.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: I love how your brain goes to like life changing
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: teacher moment. Mine was like high school year eleven twelve,
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: developing into an adult. You'res just like five or ses.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: No, No, no, my actual one is high school and
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: it's funny. It's not like a good thing. Oh And
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: I remember I had a teacher that he just he
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: just very very visibly in his mood, in his tone
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: of voice, in his stature, in just in himself didn't
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: want to be there.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he just really really didn't want to be there.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: He hated it. You could tell you fucking hated it. Yeah,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: And I just remember thinking, like, I don't want to
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: hate what I do.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: I really he looked miserable, which I bet is relatable
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: for a lot of people exactly. And I was like,
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: I just don't want to experience that. Like, no, it's
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know that was I didn't think like I
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: just don't want to be a teacher.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: That sounds so mean.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: I know, sounds terrible, Like I feel bad for the guy.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel terrible.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: But the funny thing is is when I went around
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: to get when you leave school in you at ten,
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: you have to get all of your subject teachers to
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: sign the thing, and then the head teacher of each
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: department has to sign you out.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not that they're not going to do it, but
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: you have to walk around school and do it. I
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: was like, why why can you just email this to them?
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: But I had to do it, and good for the
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: real world, man, yeah, true. And so I went and
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: I got him and the head teacher of his department
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: to sign it. And I remember that when I was
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: leaving that office after they had signed this thing, was
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: the first ever time I had seen him smile and
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: be like like good on you, like go for it,
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: like go fucking.
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: Get that calf true friendship.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: I was like, I was like okay, I was like thanks. Well,
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: I was like, little do you know, my parents are
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: not letting me come back to school.
• 11:33
  Speaker 6: It wasn't not.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Because of him, because yeah, they were just like, no,
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: you're not going back there.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Still though you like you still think about that to
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: this day. I still think about it.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: I still think like if I saw I bet you
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: we wouldn't even remember me, but if I saw him,
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: i'd remember him.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: And and I've heard since.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: Then after that, like all the our year group that
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: went into year eleven and twelve and had him.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was he loved him.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: It must have been that year eleven and twelve thing
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: where it's like you're growing up and he's treating you
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: more as like a it's like a peer.
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: Maybe it's funny the core memories we do take away
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: from like school, and how important and valuable it is
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: in your like upbringing and becoming an adult.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I won't even touch on fucking the history teacher.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: We hadn't you said? I've probably said it before. Go
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: back and listen to you.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: You're here it.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: Somewhere, but talking about school, Yeah, I think this is relatable.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: And I mentioned it briefly before. Is one of my
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: biggest struggles was being an introvert. Yeah, and would you
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: say you are one too?
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: I think that I am one now and I think
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: I was one, But I also think I was like
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: on the cusp when I was younger.
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: I was the complete opposite and I hated it. Yeah,
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: because like I was all through school and all through
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: like playing soccer was most of my upbringing. Like I
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: was the quae kid unless I was in like a
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: safe environment with my friends, Like I really didn't know
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: how to voice my opinions with people, so I just
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: sat there quietly yea, and people always just always the
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: quet kid. So I bet a lot of people when
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: I started the potty like I was like, Fuck, he's
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: got something to say.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna listen.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: But I really I never I knew I had something
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: like to give and say, but I never knew how
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: to voice it. But growing up it sort of became
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: a little bit of a superpower in a way to
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: me because I couldn't voice what I had to give,
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: so instead of saying it, I would do it. So realistically,
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: I think that's sort of like a mindset I had
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: and you had coming into the pod, like was we'll
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: give this four years, we'll actually do it, where I
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: think a lot of people will say, like I want
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: to start a podcast, I want to start a fitness channel,
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: I want to go to the gym every day this week.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: They don't actually do it. They just say it.
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: And for me being I was trying to analyze like
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: being an introvert and how I felt. And I hated
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: it being free school because even in like the party
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: setting and everything like that, I felt so awkward trying
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: to chime into conversations because of all the cool kids
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: and like how do they do it so naturally? And
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: then I was just stay on the outskirts, like and
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: once I've been a safet environment and I know people
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: people it's like, oh shit.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: He's chill, Like you fucking were a cool kid.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I was more like the jock you were like,
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: or you were spawny.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I was a cool kid. I was like,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know I was.
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: I've always been like a bit weirder, like had my
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: own personality traits.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: And I think the fact that I was good at
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: most sports, people automatically think you're cool.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I want him on my team.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, that's what it is because everyone wanted
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: me to win.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: It's got us news for your skills. I don't think
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: I reckon. When I was in school, I actually had
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: more confidence than I do now. Really, I genuinely think
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: I'm the complete opposite. I honestly think in school, I
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: I don't I don't know, like because like extroverts, like
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: like I wasn't friends with everyone, like in my friend group,
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: I was like obviously super like you're outgoing with your friends,
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: but I would even be I'm like, I was confident,
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: like I'll get in trouble of being cl like I
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: wasn't scared of that.
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: Do you think I'm trying to say this in the
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: least mean way possible? Yeah, I've talked about it before,
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: but like thickness in a person can sometimes be used
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: as a superpower. And because you didn't think as much
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: as you do now, you just did things more.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I mean maybe because we.
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: Have friends who, like I've said it before, better talking
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: to girls. They're better at putting themselves out there because
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: they don't think, and they say a lot of dumb
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: shit because they don't overthink like me, and maybe you
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: are a little bit more now, like we overanalyze situations and
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: don't put ourselves out there as much. Fuck and definitely think.
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: Because me and Jake weren't friends in school, and I
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: don't know if that was a reason, because I knew
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: you were in like the not the naughty group, but
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: like the out there group.
• 15:40
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I just like, I mean, I definitely.
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: And I remember there was a phase where they started
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: going a bit more rogue and you were thinking about you, like, I.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Don't want to do this.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: No, there was so I was in year might have
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: been year ten, yeah, but I think I had already
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: left school, so maybe everyone was in year eleven. Yeah,
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: And so while I was working, I'd like, I go
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: hang out with that group. But they started, Yeah, they
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: started hanging out with kind of kids like two years older,
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: and just this weird activity they enjoyed was walking around
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: on a Saturday night finding parties and jumping them and
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: like I'm just going in uninvited. Yeah, and I not
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: once did it. And I would wait on the.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Street for them.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: And to me, like if anyone uses their logical mind,
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: like if I if I'm not invited and.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: People don't want me to be there, I'm not doing it.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: I hate that feeling like they're just like.
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, it's fine, like work cool, Like they don't
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: think it's thick, yeah, thickness in them.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I not once went in. I waited on the street
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: for them.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I think I think it was the
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: second time, so like it happened once and I was
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: like fucking Then like a couple weeks later, I went
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: and hung out with those friends and they just all
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: like they just like doing drug They would get into drugs,
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: and I just was like no, Like I was like
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: not yet, at least they give me a fucking couple
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: of years, Like I was like shit, And I remember
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: it happened a second week end and then I just
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: completely disconnected. And then I had a girlfriend at the time,
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: so I just didn't really hang out friends for a
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: long time until like I would here and there I
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: would and then I just was always friends with JJ.
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: JJ is the He's an extrovert. He's the biggest extrovert
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: ever ext talked to anyone. I've always envied that about
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: him and about people. But like growing up now that
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: I'm a little bit older, I'm not old yet, but
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: I hated being an introvert. And to anyone listening who's
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: an introvert and struggles to talk about struggles to talk
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: to people and struggles in like social situations, like I
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: think you can use it because your brain thinks in
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: a different way. You can use it to your advantage
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: the older you get, and it's not necessarily a bad
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: thing because also, like I've made really core good friends
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: opposed to having a fuck ton of friends.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: They're like, I'm not that close with one.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: Hundred pent Well, if you really think about it, like
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: for me, at least my friends that I like, see,
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: like the friends that I know, I'm gonna like that. Okay,
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: there is there's a certain amount of friends in our
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: close friend group that we would have considered our close
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: friend group two years ago that I now am like,
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: I won't be getting invited to their wedding. Yeah you
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: know what I mean, because we very recently didn't even
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: get invited to a birthday party.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: If someone we would have considered.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: A close friend, yeah, like close close friend. And so
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: I was just thinking, like it didn't actually it didn't
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: really hurt my feelings. I just was kind of like, oh,
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: I was like, I guess it's like fair enough, we
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: just do our thing.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: So now thinking about it, my.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Friend group has really been like windled down to you
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: DJ Yeah, Joanna.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: My sister. I mean, I guess Beth, you could consider Beth.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: He's my girlfriend and then Cassie because wherever you.
• 18:46
  Speaker 6: Go, Cassie get to go like Cassie.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: And then we'll put Jess in there wherever Jack is,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Jess is.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: But like again, you know, we always say, you know,
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: we're friends in them conditionally because you're dating them, But
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: while you're dating them, obviously we're friends.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: But I just can't think of any more.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: No, really, And I'm going to get dinner with a
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: friend tonight.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Oh you are, yeah, just me and him. That's cute.
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: No, I'm busy. But before, we've mentioned on a pod
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: that male friendship groups aren't emostly invested. It's very surface level,
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: and I think for that reason it's sort of started
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: to dissipate a little bit. But our conversation, do you reckon?
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: Extroverts have conversations that are a lot more surface level
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: about like random shit.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, you gotta surely.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I'm thinking, like being I'm just trying to
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: glass half full for me. No, no, no, definitely like
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: being an introvert, you have more meaningful conversations because when
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: I do say something like I try and make it
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: somewhat a good conversation, Like I try I steer clear
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: of like I hate small talk.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Same all right, I hate it the amount of times
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: this isn't a cocky thing, this is I genuinely believe
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: this is an introvert thing.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Whether I am or not. And maybe I'm on the customer.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: I don't know the amount of times I've been having
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: a conversation with someone that I've just met and I've
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: thought to myself, I need to get out of there.
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: I think my thinking process is I'd prefer to stand
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: or sit here in silence.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Same like I don't want to talk about the weather.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: I'm not a person that thinks science is awkward. Never mind,
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: I'm a big silence guy.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: Like I would prefer, like I don't want to hear
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: about your holidays coming up next year. Like I don't
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: know if that kind of sounds bad to say it,
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: but like I just I don't like I prefer to
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: have like stimulating conversations about like feelings and emotions and stuff.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: And that's what you do with people you have a
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: connection with, not with like people you go.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: To work with.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, I'm thinking, like, to be fair, if
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: I was to meet a new person, I it's more
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: like the questions I think that you as like personality wise,
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: I found while we like we just can't.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: We just went away and we just go home.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: We're auted like an event for a company. And and
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: they had a lunch and they did they sat addie
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: and eye away from each other.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I live it, and they kind of you.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: Could tell they did shit like that on purpose, because
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: like I got sat to like people that are like
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: at a global position in that company. You got sat
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: next to just like some famous Australia like some guy
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: that's just like men's health like shit like that. And
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: we were at this thing and we're having this like
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: really nice lunch. It was really cool, and I just
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: found myself having a conversation with the girl across me,
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: and then it was two people to my left and
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: just like I was just asking like questions and she
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: actually she works in marketing for this company, but she
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: worked in China for seven years. And I got the
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: in depth reason as to why.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Where she's from.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: And I think it maybe it's like the questions you ask,
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: so maybe as are different because I found the small
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: talk I.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Was really enjoying, but I was finding out a lot
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: about her.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: I was really uncomfortable at the start of that just
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: because of my introverted nature, but maybe also on the
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: other end of the spectrum would be a little bit
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: of the problem. And I'm not allowing myself to have
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: the harder conversations because I shot him off too quickly.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean you did in the end, Yeah,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: I did in the end.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: I remember at the start, the fellow you were talking
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: due fuck it, Tim Robot. He started a conversation with us. Yeah,
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: and then like the guy got like like said little seech.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: And then we had lunch.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: But then a guy sat between in between me and Tim,
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: and then you were across room, so you kept talking
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: to him, and you spoke to him.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: The whole line.
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Yeah, hardest thing about that lunch. Just side note,
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: this is just funny. We had to eat with chopsticks.
• 22:29
  Speaker 6: They were the skinniest chop sticks. I can't use on planet.
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: I can't use them anyway. Like three different people tried
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: to show me how to use them. Yeah, and like
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: we're at this fancy dinner. Like they weren't really waitresses
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: or waiters.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it was kind of like just people just
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: bringing stuff out, taking stuff away, Like you couldn't really
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: stop them.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: So I'm like having this conversation with his famous dude
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: trying to pick up some chicken with blood chopstick.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: I ended up just sticking it in there and eating it.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: So funny, but also I was just overthinking.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: I guess I actually wanted to, like to finish on
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: the fun anything. Like, there's so many people out there
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: are like I think a lot of people figure out
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: like I think a lot of people think they're an
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: extrovert and then they figure out they're an introvert, or
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: they think they're an introvert and figure out they're an etrovert.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: And obviously, like certain scenarios and stuff, you're one of
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: the other more than one of the other. But I
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: always found it kind of crazy. So we go to
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: something we've said this before, we go somewhere and meet
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: people we've never met, all right, and then let's say
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: we're going to an event and we'll say to this
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: person that's like bringing us in, like, oh, this isn't
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: gonna be fun for us, and they're like why, They're like, oh,
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: I a bit introverted at heart, and they're like really, yeah,
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: it doesn't seem like that on the podcast, And you
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: just got to like we just have to explain, like, yeah,
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: but currently, like at this very second, we are in
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: a room with the two of us.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: No when I was seeing it.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: Jackson here today you know, where there's no one and
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: it doesn't care, and he does like we could say
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: whatever we want to front of him. Yeah, you know,
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: so although we are broadcasting on the internet at a
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: later date after just something about like I don't feel
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: like I don't feel like anyone's listening.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: To what I'm saying. Right, You're in a very safe environment. Yeah.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: And one thing I've never been able to understand is
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: so a lot of people get energy from being around
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: other people, like group workouts or going to like I
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: don't know, talk to people. I don't even know where
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: you do that us, on the other hand, that like
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: that myself social battery just goes down like this, But me,
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: I get charged for being by myself.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, and my social battery goes down eavesdropping
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: on a conversation.
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and I feel like I'm part of it, and
• 24:35
  Speaker 6: I'm like I'm tired, Like.
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: My perfect day is like spending the whole day by myself. Yeah,
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: like not even talking to my parents, like I'm hoping
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: they've gone to work by the time I wake up
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: with something.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Fact.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sometimes you want to get home from work, like
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: when I get how was work?
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: When I get home and no one's out? Yes, yes,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: it's so. Isn't that funny? Some people do? They just
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: like being alone, they thrive. Yeah, yeah.
• 24:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: It's also like I'm trying to figure out what's best
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: for me of being an intro but it's also like
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: whatever you're given, it's just using that to your advantage.
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: Like I'm sure in a lot of social situations, if
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: I was an extrovert, I could have met some way
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: cooler people and have better opportunities.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: But you worked out that way.
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you know what if this?
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: What is that?
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: But yeah, it's very interesting, like working with the cards
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: you've been dealt. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, and just figuring
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: it out along the way.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, Jake, do you know what time it is?
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 25:30
  Speaker 6: Dilemas dilemmas, baby.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: You guys know what to do if you want to
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: submit a dilemma.
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: Is in the description of this episode, or go to
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: an Instagram link in bio scroll to the bottom and
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: it says dilemmas all anonymous.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: By the way, we don't even know who's sending these in.
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the way I set it up kind of dumb,
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: but we can't even see works out for anyone I
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: wants to be anonymous.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: There's enough we're stuff in there for years. Okay, we're
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: not changing it now, keep keep submitting. We like checking
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: the new ones.
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: Don't fix it. It's not broken. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay relatables.
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: First of all, I love you guys, We love you too.
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: My favorite podcast hands down. My boyfriend and two closest
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: friends also listen now, to which I thought was a
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: little bit of a dangerous game to be playing.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: But anyway, your boyfriend listening.
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: I have a dilemma. I need support with I love
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: my boyfriend very much, but we disagree on something I've
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: never had pushback on before. I'd really appreciate your input,
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: the input of and the input of listeners. I think
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: we should keep some things in our relationship between us,
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: but he thinks he should be able to speak to
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: his friend's SaaS family about everything I share with him.
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: He feels that like it affects him. I've tried to
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: explain that it's hard for me to open up and
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: be vulnerable, but part of what makes it easier is
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: knowing that things are just between us. He says, this
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: isn't my call. What do you think?
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Fucking hoh?
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: This which is like I would like to point everyone,
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: this is the definition of a dilemma.
• 27:04
  Speaker 6: This is the definition of a dilemma.
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: They should put this in the Urban Dictionary mate dilemma.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: And example good example, example, textbook example.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Wow. See because when you came because like, if you're.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: Telling him something that's like happened to you, and you're
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: just like, I'm telling you because I trust you. I
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: don't want you to tell anyone. But he's like, well,
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: now that's on me.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I need to get like so it's affecting him more
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: than you know, like it's my body, it's my rules.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: Which sucks because now you probably keep stuff from him,
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: but that you like, you keep stuff from him that
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: you would normally tell him, but stuff that you would
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: not ever.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: Told what because immediately I would say, normally he's in
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: the wrong. But if your problems are affecting him and
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: he needs his own healthy outlets, which are his friends
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: and families, like that's also fine.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: I don't know though, what if because if I told
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: you a secret and I was like, Oddie, you're the
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: only person that I can tell this too. Okay, I'm
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: the closest to you. I need to keep this off
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: my chest. You have to promise me you won't tell anyone.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: And then you're like, well, hey, if it affects me,
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: I can't promise anything.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Sure. If you said like that, I.
• 28:17
  Speaker 6: Would be like, fuck, I'm telling you it's true.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: It sort of comes down to respect.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, like I've got yeah, Like if Beth
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: said to me, don't tell anyone this, I wouldn't tell anyone.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: What if like the gooss she told you, like if
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: she murdered.
• 28:33
  Speaker 6: Someone, I'd tell someone.
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: But like, what about like I don't know, the burden
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: of her life was starting to make you depressed, like
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: she was telling you like you know, I would bring
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: it up with her, true, I would say like, hey,
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to play Devil's no.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I know, I know.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: But that's a good point though, because it's like she's
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: this girl's gonna get a example of what someone else
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: would probably do. Like if her telling me things that
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: I can't tell anyone else was really weighing heavy on me,
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: And then like I'm getting mentally affected I would be
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: I would have to have a conversation with her like, hey,
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: either you got to get help. Mmm, Like still I
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: want to know about it, but I need to I
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: need to know that you're also going to other avenues.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: To get this better.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: Or like, hey, wait, why didn't the boyfriend go to therapy?
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: You can tell a therapist and they're not gonna tell soul.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: They're not allowed. It's illegal to tell him.
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: I was gonna say, what doesn't she go to a therapist?
• 29:25
  Speaker 6: Why do they both go?
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I was I was thinking, like, if your
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: boyfriend's saying like anything that's just like goss or like
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: sexual or anything like that, he's completely in the wrong.
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: But if it's like the burdens of life and you
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: have a stressful job, yeah, if.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: You're kind of like I just don't know if I
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: can do this anymore.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like if you have a really bad job of
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: like I don't know, in child health care or something
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: like that, and like bringing all these parents problems home
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: or something, you need to voice him. And then he's
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: telling his friends like I would say, that's completely wrong,
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: and then you should talk to a therapist.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: But like I'm thinking, I'm thinking I'm thinking for this one.
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: By the way she worded it, I'm thinking it's just
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: like sexual sh.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like it's just everything.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: So I mean it's like, really you could say it's
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: best case and worst case. I feel like it's just
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: every case, every case scenario.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: So I think my advice would be.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: Two oh man, maybe kay, Okay, what's that thing we
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: learned about argument? Okay, bring it up with your boyfrien k.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: You've got to start it with a with a few eyes.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: So it's like you said to your boyfriend, I feel
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: uh like I feel hurt. Maybe you could you have
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: to say how you feel about something and say and
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: then and then another thing with an eye and then
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: like the solution of what you want them to do
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: to help fix the situation.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Remember that arguments thing talk I brought.
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: I feel hurt that you're telling other people about my problems.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Yes, I think I feel hurt, And then that you're
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: telling people about my other problems.
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: And it's like I would really appreciate if we It's
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: it's like I and okay, I forard that you turn
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: other people my problems. I know that it also burdens you. Yeah,
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: I know it also burdens you. A solution I think
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: that could help us both is if we both went
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: and saw someone so we're venting to them and not
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: people that have biased opinions on our lives.
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: I think he's in the wrong a little bit same,
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: just because in a relationship you should have that underlying
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: rule that it stays between you two. And it's sort
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: of like even with me and Jake, if Jake tells
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: me something, I know when it's appropriate for me to
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: tell Cassie, my girlfriend, and when it's not good.
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: Point A, I can't remember a time saying to you, like,
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: don't even tell Cassie this.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just like a thing.
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's an unspoken Yeah, it's just he should know
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: when it's okay to share your thoughts and emotions and
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: when it's not, which is just like in any relationship. Yeah,
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: which I think you should tell him that, And like
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: he shouldn't be sharing everything, especially with his parents, because
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: they're going to make an opinion of you, Like we
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: said at the start, Yeah, they just have this, they'll
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: look at you different. Yeah yeah, yeah, one hundred percent.
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: So I think he's in the wrong a little bit.
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: It's not too bad, and I see why there's a
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: bit of a dilemma here, and this is a tricky one.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: And you could also go to therapy first see if
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: you like it, and then you can also explain your
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: experience to it at like and then maybe that'll be
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: make him more on board if that's what you want
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: to do.
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: I love the advice of therapy, right, and I know
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: it's such a healthy strategy. Yeah, but like saying go
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: to therapy to someone, it's so yeah easy. Yeah, it's
• 32:28
  Speaker 4: just like I don't know, like Jelfrey, like I want
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: to do it too, Like I've been wanting to do
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: it for like two years, and I'm just like I
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: haven't done it.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: Neither of I I've wanted to do it as well,
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: I just haven't done it.
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, It's just something like it seems like such a
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: big stepping stone. So I'm saying, voice how.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: It makes you feel.
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: Tell him that there should be some type of safety
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: net in our relationship where you only tell the things
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: that are appropriate to tell, because otherwise it feels like
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: I'm going to be having to keep secrets befrom you
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: because I can't trust you.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yea, yeah, yeh yeah yeah. But yeah, yeah,
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: it hurts that. It hurts me that you tell people
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: about the things I tell you. I don't want to
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: be keeping secrets from you. I'd really appreciate it if
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: we have some stuff that just stayed in our relationship. Yeah.
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: And also I didn't like his response how he said, well,
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: it's my problem now, because like it's sort of like
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: saying like you make me sad, and then he's going like, well,
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: that's not my problem. Mm, like it's your problem, like
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Then it's hard. It's hard to explain for me. I
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: do know what you mean.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, it's kind of like, oh, it's not my problem,
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: so why should.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: I let it burden me? Kinder?
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, fuck, I gotta say. I mean, I hope there
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: was some advice in therefore. I seriously, when.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: We spitball, we spit something out and something comes out.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: You know, we're not saying that you have to do
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: any of those things, but at least, like hopefully maybe
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: this one.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: I think this one could be good for the Facebook group, just.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: To hear, just to hear, because we had because he
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: hears so many different opinions.
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: She did say the thoughts of our listeners as well.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: And I also think that she wanted a little bit
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: of support to know that she's not overreacting, which I
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: definitely think you're not.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: I don't think she's ever reacting at all neither. Yeah,
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: and we've really tried to look at it from both ways.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: So we've done our best there. We'll go like, like
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: it is a plug, but the best place to fucking
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: we'll put it in the Facebook group. Yeah, you know
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: when this comes out and there's some great advice in there. Yeah,
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: they're fucking pretty good. They're die hard listeners who we love.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: We love all of you. They're pretty smarty.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: They should all of everyone in that group start a
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: podcast better than our.
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: All right, guys, Confession Sessions went down so good last
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: week we had to do it again Double Trouble.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: We are back with and OG. We used to do
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: whole episodes of this we did.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we recommend going back and yeah, listening to the
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: whole I actual love of the pod.
• 34:58
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: I love them because you get to like interact with
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: people listening and yeah, they just get to come on
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: and tell their story. So this is Confession Sessions. Yes,
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: and we have a lovely caller from Canada named Osha.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: Don't give it away, man, what are you doing? That's
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: not our actual name.
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: If you would like to submit a confession session, link
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: in our description of this episode, and it's also in
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: our bio on our Instagram.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: You click the link and you scroll down and it'll
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: see confession sessions.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: But otherwise enjoy, enjoy. Hello, Hello, welcome to confession session.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: How is it going good?
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: How are you guys?
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: Good? Thanks? Where are you calling from? First?
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: I'm calling from Canada, Canada? Vancouver Island, Yes.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: Than Island. We had a friend that lived there for
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: a while. Yeah, very nice, very nice?
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: And first things first is can we use your actual
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: name or would you like to be anonymous?
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: I'll stay anonymous.
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: Is there any name you've ever want to be called?
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: Or would you like me and Jake to pick something?
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: You guys can pick something.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to go with Ocean, Osha Osha. Okay,
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: I like that. Niche Osha and Osha. You have a story?
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: What would you give the prompt of the story? What
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: would you call it a prompt?
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Like the title?
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Give it a title?
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Oh god, I don't.
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: Know, like.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Worst, I don't even know what to call it, but
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: the ultimate ich. Yeah, the ultimate ick. It's a story
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: that I tell when people are like, what's your worst
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: sexual experience?
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay, I like that you're in the right place. Well,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: if you want to take it from the top, we're
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: going to interact. Go ahead.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So a while, a long time ago, actually, I
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: was dating this guy for about four months, and we
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: are pretty comfortable with each other because we had been
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: friends for like a year before that, and everything was
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: going good. We were comfortable physically and i'd say emotionally.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: And then one night I was feeling a little bit adventurous.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: I had never sixty nine before.
• 37:13
  Speaker 6: Oh, I was like, I've never done it.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: I've done it adventurous.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: I was like, let's let's try it feels good, feeling constant,
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: and then so everything is going as you would guess,
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: like I initiated it. I let's say I'm the sixth,
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: he's the nine okay on top? Right, Yeah, I volunteered
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: a tribute to be on the top.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Imagine him on top of you. That'd been heavy.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Anyways, so it was going good and he sort
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: of took a break. So I was like feeling generous
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: and taking all the work and then uh, as it's
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: going good, all of a sudden he lets out the
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: most deadly, eye watering, silent arc No.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have to be in the worst position possible.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like hot air rises and it went directly into
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: my nostrils. Oh, my nostrils, if you can just imagine
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: the scenario, are the only form of oxygen.
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: I've also got to point out, like, yes, they're the
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: only form of oxygen. But also it's like there's something
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: that's really triggering your gag reflex.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Also, like did he address it or did he just
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: like pretend like it didn't happen.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: No, So what happened was I was like trying to
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: process it all really fast and like lots of happening,
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: and my subconscious was just like just pretend it didn't happen.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: Keep going Trooper, right, No, yeah, I didn't. I don't
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: know if he actually knew that it had happened, so
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: I just sort of I mean, in hindsight, I would
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: have just stopped and like switched things up, but I
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: don't know. I think I was felt like secondhand embarrassment.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: You should have embarrassed the funk out of me, so
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: you finished him off.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: I held my breast to the bitter end. Uh.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we know why he stopped me out for a
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: while because.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: He was his bitter end.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Yeah. But we we dated for like
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: another six months, talked about it. What we talked.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: I thought you were emotionally intact with each other.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, clearly there were some issues there, and then we
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: didn't acknowledge it or anything. But we're like on good terms.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: We're not like, he's not like a bad person in
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: my life.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, well that's nice. I guess. I want to
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: say he one hundred new. He had to. He had
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: to have known he was playing it off.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah. One, because I mean, you don't know when he's
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: gonna smell bad.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: You can tell by the heat of it when it
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: came out. That came out hot, for.
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: Sure, And the fact that it was silent was that
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: he was like squeezing his butt cheeks to make sure
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: it didn't happen, and he was hoping he got away
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: with it, which he probably thinks he did.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he does now.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: A chance, and he just didn't know. Do people just
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: not know when they fight it? Sometimes?
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know if we can give him
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: the benefit from my experience.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: I've never not known and I want to say that, No,
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: I got it.
• 40:52
  Speaker 6: I just got a point.
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: I really think he should have been like just like
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: tapped on the leg, like okay, stop now switch it up.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: So at least it didn't go straight to you to
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: know like I need a second or something.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, that would have been the crutiest thing to do.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: Before you leave, Before you leave? Have you ever done
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: it again?
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: What sixty in my face?
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Sixty nine again? All that?
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Ah, yes, I did with another person. I didn't do
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: it with him again.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: At least you weren't scarred from the experience. Ah No, definitely.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: Well that's good. Well thanks for coming on.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, thanks for having me and thanks for listening.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: That's I have a good rest, you know you too.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Thanks bye bye.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: No, I couldn't be that dude. You have to be
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: courteous and be like like, just don't address that you're
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: going to fight, be like, oh, time for me to
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: go on top, and then in the transition like let's
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: hearth me out or something better than being in her face.
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: Mate, I can't even begin to imagine what that smell like.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: Poor girl Trooper too went kept going to town just
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: like hell with her breath and kept ah. I hope
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: that doesn't sky anyone thinking about doing a sixty nine
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: out there.
• 42:10
  Speaker 6: Holy moly.
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: Also, when she said taking one for the team and
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: went on top, I just wanted to let every girl know,
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: like you should always be on top in sixty nine.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's I thought that was like customary
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: where I was like, you may die, Yeah, you may
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: unless you're like bigger than your boyfriend. But I don't
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: even think it's about being bigger. I think it's just
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: about like.
• 42:33
  Speaker 6: You have control angle of trajectory, you have.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: Control on top, Yeah, you have control top that you
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: can lift your head and breathe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: don't think he's got anything.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: To do with like size. I think it's more just yeah,
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: like I don't, I don't know you done.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: It well sixty nine You haven't. I did to think
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: about that, who you are? I was thinking about it.
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of because there's just so many times.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Kidding which girl for about? No, I haven't. All right, everybody,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: thanks for listening. You know what to do.
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: As we said, join the faith five star this episode.
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: They're going great, keep it going, Holks for the Algorithm
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: and then Patreon Extra Episode which is an hour long
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: every single week.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: Yep, and we love you. See you on Wednesday. Love you.