Latest / Privycast / Ep. 50 ”My Husband Does Toilet Paper Wrong” with Ana Hoover (Privychat 4)

Transcript

Ep. 50 ”My Husband Does Toilet Paper Wrong” with Ana Hoover (Privychat 4) · Privycast

• 0:00
  Um, this is an interesting setup in the bathroom.
• 0:04
  Did you ever feel claustrophobic in that corner?
• 0:06
  I always do.
• 0:08
  ah
• 0:09
  Do you pass gas in here and then sit in the sink?
• 0:12
  Well, I often go to the bathroom in here before I do what I do.
• 0:18
  Often it smells really bad just by nature.
• 0:22
  Bye.
• 0:28
  Welcome back to Privy.
• 0:30
  Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom.
• 0:35
  I am your host, Hunter Hoover, and it's Valentine's Day.
• 0:41
  We're gonna get to that in a second, even though I mostly think Valentine's Day is kind of made up.
• 0:47
  And I'm getting an eye roll from my guests because this is the 50th episode of the podcast.
• 0:55
  um If you can believe it,
• 0:58
  I've sat here and other places, including an airplane and Disney World, and talked about bathrooms and toilets and poop and my shameful adventures 50 times.
• 1:14
  Yep.
• 1:16
  But it's a special episode.
• 1:18
  It's an exciting episode, not because of the 50th episode.
• 1:21
  That's its own thing.
• 1:23
  It's an exciting episode because I'm joined in the studio, which is how I mark our home bathroom every time I go to the bathroom, by a very special guest and definitely the
• 1:34
  cutest and most attractive person that we've uh had on the podcast, my wife, Ana.
• 1:40
  Ana.
• 1:42
  Hey.
• 1:42
  Thank you for being here.
• 1:46
  Why don't you, I don't know, say whatever you want about, now that you're here officially, about me not liking Valentine's Day.
• 1:57
  I mean, I don't really have much to say.
• 2:00
  to say.
• 2:00
  You've always just not been a fan.
• 2:03
  I don't think we've ever actually celebrated Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day.
• 2:09
  ever.
• 2:10
  Well, that's but that's actually like me trying to be um strategic and there's probably not a strategy like the more strategy you involve in anything is probably less romance
• 2:26
  involved.
• 2:27
  So like as soon as you introduce strategy to it, I'm pretty sure the romantic parts kind of disappear.
• 2:32
  But if you go out on Valentine's Day, there's too many people.
• 2:36
  Everybody goes out on Valentine's Day.
• 2:39
  So.
• 2:40
  definitely less crowded when we go out,
• 2:43
  It's going to be a theme ah this episode and it is, um Anna puts up with Hunter.
• 2:51
  That's definitely going to be the theme as you're going to hear.
• 2:54
  ah We have been together for 10 years this fall and married for eight.
• 3:06
  How are you?
• 3:08
  Me?
• 3:09
  Yeah.
• 3:09
  I'm good.
• 3:10
  Even, so, I mean, people have just realized that you've shared a bathroom with me for at least eight years.
• 3:21
  I'll ask again, how are you?
• 3:25
  I mean, the answer is pretty much the same.
• 3:27
  I'm all right.
• 3:29
  I've shared a bathroom most of my life.
• 3:32
  It's not a big deal for me.
• 3:33
  Perfect.
• 3:34
  Well, we're gonna get into that because that's actually what I want to talk to you a little bit about because you have, think, a very, very specific and different perspective
• 3:45
  on sharing a bathroom.
• 3:46
  But uh just for posterity's sake, I want to just say where and you correct me.
• 3:54
  So your history, I'm not gonna finish the sentence, but you like history.
• 4:00
  Yes.
• 4:00
  Okay.
• 4:01
  What would you self-describe yourself as?
• 4:05
  Okay, she said it, not me.
• 4:07
  I didn't say it.
• 4:11
  That's not the point.
• 4:14
  But yes, I spent, I don't know.
• 4:19
  I caught a lot of Pokemon creatures today to try to defend myself not being a nerd, so we're past it.
• 4:26
  But yeah, so Valentine's Day, comes from this like St.
• 4:29
  Valentine guy who to my understanding was like marrying people in order to like keep them from having to go to war, I think.
• 4:38
  This is, you're seeing in real time like how all of my research and all of my interactions with information happen.
• 4:46
  I don't know what I'm talking about.
• 4:48
  How do you feel about the fact that I just shared that and I don't know if it's true?
• 4:52
  I mean, it kind of bothers me a little bit.
• 4:54
  You should have fact checked.
• 4:56
  No, but that's the thing is if you fact check everything, it makes people think that it's official and good.
• 5:03
  So are you saying that you're unofficial and bad?
• 5:06
  Yes, that's it.
• 5:07
  There is a facade that this show is approaching to attempting to have and it's that it's to we're not we're not here to we're not here to moving on.
• 5:19
  So but like when Jason was just like staring at me sitting in the men's room, that's fine.
• 5:25
  That's fine.
• 5:27
  But you and married for almost eight.
• 5:31
  That's a lot of putting up with me.
• 5:35
  You can admit it, it's fine.
• 5:37
  Okay.
• 5:39
  I have a question and I think like you said, you've shared a bathroom a lot in your life.
• 5:46
  Yeah, so tell me about that.
• 5:50
  What was the bathroom logistic situation and why was it so much different for you specifically, maybe more so than a lot of the people that I interact with or people
• 6:02
  interact with?
• 6:03
  Um, well, I come from a very big family.
• 6:07
  I have six siblings.
• 6:09
  Yeah.
• 6:10
  And so there's definitely a lot of us and for sharing the bathroom, it was, you know, it's not really all that different than like, I don't want to say using a public restroom where
• 6:28
  you're like waiting in line because you know,
• 6:31
  Even with that many of us, we didn't all have to use the bathroom at the same time.
• 6:36
  There were definitely times where there was a bit of a line.
• 6:43
  Even the amount of things you go through in the bathroom is considerable.
• 6:51
  I have two older sisters.
• 6:54
  And you have an older brother who I am sure went through the most toilet paper.
• 7:01
  And the boys always do.
• 7:04
  That's what you got to know about that.
• 7:07
  So when you say there's a line, is there a real line forming outside the bathroom or is it like a queue in your brain where it's like, well, I'm up next.
• 7:16
  Yeah, more of a cue where somebody will come out and knock on the door and be like, Hey, I have to go to the bathroom.
• 7:21
  Get out.
• 7:22
  So it's like an arcade machine.
• 7:24
  Put a quarter up.
• 7:24
  Yeah, you got next.
• 7:26
  Yeah, and then you just go tell somebody, if somebody jumps in before they get there, that's not your fault.
• 7:30
  So that's what I, was there ever the hijack where you got next but then, I don't know.
• 7:36
  somebody sneaks in when you're going to look for that person.
• 7:38
  Somebody was smart, because I was going to name one of your siblings, and I've realized now that you've gone with the somebody generic.
• 7:46
  mean, feel free if you wanna name siblings, some of them listen to this show.
• 7:50
  Oh, I'm well aware.
• 7:52
  um Nope, there's no sense in getting in high water if I don't need to.
• 7:57
  um I do that enough just by talking every day.
• 8:02
  um There's this line, but it's not just siblings.
• 8:06
  guys had, obviously mom and dad, but you guys also had grandparents and uncles.
• 8:12
  How many bathrooms per-
• 8:15
  friends that were always over.
• 8:20
  Like what was the ratio of people to bathrooms in the house that you like when you think of when this happened most, what was the ratio?
• 8:29
  um Usually there was, I believe three when I got older.
• 8:36
  um The house that we lived in when I was a kid, I'm pretty sure there was two.
• 8:44
  I'm pretty sure we had it.
• 8:45
  There was one in the master bedroom which my grandparents lived in.
• 8:50
  Then I think there was just the hall bathroom.
• 8:55
  And how many people per the two bathrooms?
• 8:59
  See, okay, so.
• 9:01
  but sometimes my uncles lived with us and then it was 12.
• 9:04
  That's a lot of people per bathroom.
• 9:07
  ah
• 9:07
  Yeah, we had septic issues one time.
• 9:10
  Yes.
• 9:11
  um Dang.
• 9:15
  I know you've told me this before.
• 9:16
  I didn't realize it was two.
• 9:18
  Well, in the house that I lived in as a child, I'm pretty sure there was only two bathrooms.
• 9:25
  I don't remember there being three.
• 9:28
  Yeah, I mean, I mean it makes sense.
• 9:32
  I mean, that was elementary school age house.
• 9:34
  Yeah.
• 9:37
  So then you added a bathroom later, which was probably better.
• 9:42
  Right, right.
• 9:43
  But in moving, added a bathroom.
• 9:45
  Perfect.
• 9:46
  And that was the home that I...
• 9:51
  Yes, that's the one that you were living in when I met you.
• 9:54
  I we lived...
• 10:00
  No.
• 10:01
  Yes.
• 10:03
  We moved frequently.
• 10:04
  um The house that you met me in had three bathrooms.
• 10:10
  Yeah.
• 10:12
  There was a mystery bathroom in like the back by the kitchen.
• 10:15
  Yeah, it was it's like a water closet toilet in a sink.
• 10:19
  That was it
• 10:20
  Perfect.
• 10:21
  Yes.
• 10:23
  So you moved a bunch.
• 10:25
  You can talk about that if you want.
• 10:27
  You don't have to.
• 10:29
  Like I said, I think the best approach to this episode is, Ana puts up with Hunter.
• 10:34
  Because I have enough things to ask you that we're going to reveal just what you put up with.
• 10:39
  Like for instance, tonight we're driving home.
• 10:42
  I, and so.
• 10:47
  Sometimes if this is gonna be another opportunity for people to verify my Just me um Because we're driving home and I begin to make just like I stop and like start to push ah
• 11:01
  And it's like when you're birthing it's like push push push, but I just start making dumb sounds So I'm pushing and it gets real quiet and then I make the comment that it's wet ah
• 11:13
  And so, and just in case people are like, okay, he hams the fact that he does this stuff on the show.
• 11:20
  Like he, how often would you say in a week do I do that?
• 11:26
  Where I just like make a dumb sound that sounds like I'm pooping, but I'm not on the toilet.
• 11:33
  And then make a comment about how it has affected my underpants.
• 11:38
  counting just the times where you talk about your underpants afterwards or uh even when you don't talk about your underpants, how often do you make the noises?
• 11:50
  So the fact that you have to delineate between the two is proving my point.
• 11:56
  We'll do just the times that I make comments about my underpants afterwards.
• 12:01
  I mean, it's pretty frequent in a week, probably 10, 15 times.
• 12:07
  That's generous.
• 12:10
  Yup, so ah as we said, we've been together eight years.
• 12:16
  ah So I don't think I've been doing that all eight years.
• 12:19
  I think that's a last four year thing.
• 12:22
  I think since we've had kids, I've just kind of embraced the dad who farts vibe.
• 12:27
  ah
• 12:29
  The kids thought it was funny.
• 12:30
  Well yeah, as they should.
• 12:34
  You know, our son is five so anything that has to do with farts or poop or any of that he thinks is the best.
• 12:46
  Yeah, but so does our daughter.
• 12:47
  She's three.
• 12:49
  Yeah, that's true.
• 12:51
  Sometimes she just farts and giggles.
• 12:53
  Yep.
• 12:55
  It's great.
• 12:57
  So what you've shared a bathroom with a bunch of people in the past and you now today in this current time period share a bathroom with me.
• 13:14
  What is the thing or what are the things that I am doing on a, I don't know how to say this, frequent basis that are just like, can you please stop?
• 13:28
  um I put up with this.
• 13:32
  which also in case you're wondering before you um go, I'm pretty sure these are not going be new information to me.
• 13:41
  I'm pretty sure I already know these.
• 13:42
  I'm just setting my ways.
• 13:45
  I'm not springing this out of nowhere like, oh, we're going to deal with this right now.
• 13:51
  I'm well aware of some of these or not.
• 13:56
  One of the bigger ones is the toilet paper.
• 13:59
  You put it on wrong.
• 14:03
  Frequently, like every time.
• 14:05
  And then I slip it.
• 14:07
  So this is not the episode where we sort that out because I have my defense for what I do.
• 14:14
  There's a patent, the patent proves that I'm correct and you are wrong.
• 14:17
  But the patent doesn't mean anything Right, but the person who came up with the patent wants you to use more toilet paper because then he makes more money
• 14:30
  It's easier to get that.
• 14:32
  You know what?
• 14:32
  We're not arguing about it.
• 14:34
  But the first thing, so I put the toilet paper quote on backwards.
• 14:40
  And okay, they should put instructions.
• 14:42
  you sometimes you unroll it too far and it hangs in the trash and Then I have to roll it back up But I have to rip like two or three pieces off because it was in the trash can and
• 14:54
  the trash cans dirty Don't give me any excuses.
• 14:57
  It's full of all kinds of crap
• 15:00
  Yes, and the trash can is dirty.
• 15:03
  Here's my thought.
• 15:05
  You're getting ready to use that toilet paper in perhaps the most dirtiest spot on the universe.
• 15:11
  but what if I'm using it for the other half?
• 15:16
  gosh.
• 15:16
  ah That's a dynamic I don't deal with.
• 15:20
  um Your world is different than mine.
• 15:26
  maybe don't put the toilet paper in the trash can anymore?
• 15:29
  I don't put it in there.
• 15:30
  Like, I don't place...
• 15:31
  You like yank it and it unrolls into the trash can.
• 15:36
  Maybe keep an eye on how hard you pull the toilet paper.
• 15:39
  But I'm trying to be quick.
• 15:41
  Be slower.
• 15:42
  uh
• 15:46
  Be slower.
• 15:48
  Okay, so two toilet paper related conundrums.
• 15:53
  Sometimes you forget to turn the vent on and it smells really bad.
• 15:56
  Well, but the vent, yeah, I do that.
• 16:01
  But my, yeah, so my bathroom situation has, to me, smelled exactly like the smell of Keurig coffee for like the last five months.
• 16:11
  It's an ongoing thing.
• 16:14
  Yeah, but it's, I mean, it's an exact smell.
• 16:17
  And uh there's a lot of like popcorn smell going on still.
• 16:22
  I'm getting that phenomenon.
• 16:24
  Yeah.
• 16:25
  weird.
• 16:27
  Yeah, it smells like popcorn when I pee.
• 16:30
  Hmm, odd.
• 16:31
  And then we went to the movies after the Young Adults group and Tyler got popcorn and it smelled like urine to me.
• 16:41
  I just, I don't know, it's crossed.
• 16:43
  Well, at least you didn't eat anything because theater popcorn messes you up.
• 16:47
  Well, I ate a handful or two, but not enough to do bad things.
• 16:54
  So any other things that I do that you wanna.
• 16:58
  Oh, absolutely not.
• 16:59
  I mean, they can be in the bathroom.
• 17:02
  Sometimes, like before we got a bathroom with two sinks, because thank God we got a bathroom with two sinks, you used to leave beard hair in the bathroom sink and I would
• 17:11
  wash it out every morning.
• 17:13
  Okay, I will say I tried to get it.
• 17:18
  Yeah.
• 17:20
  but sometimes I miss some.
• 17:22
  Mm-hmm.
• 17:24
  That's true.
• 17:24
  um
• 17:26
  Think about how much there would have been if I hadn't have tried.
• 17:29
  I do appreciate the fact that you try a little bit to do it.
• 17:34
  There's always so much beard hair.
• 17:37
  Well, if you trim it, it's just part of that.
• 17:41
  I don't know.
• 17:44
  Um, but I mean, other than that, there's not really a lot of bathroom, like things that really bother me.
• 17:54
  I mean, you used to leave the toilet seat up, but I fell in the toilet one time and then I screamed at you and you stop.
• 17:58
  Yes, I didn't grow up.
• 18:01
  Like I said, my bathroom situation growing up was pretty much the exact polar opposite from yours where there were a total of three people in my home and two bathrooms.
• 18:12
  I had my own bathroom pretty much my whole life unless somebody came over to visit.
• 18:16
  I'd do whatever I wanted with that toilet seat.
• 18:21
  Then I lived in a dorm with a bunch of guys, who cares what goes on in there.
• 18:26
  Yes.
• 18:28
  So it was probably when we lived in the apartment that I learned these lessons.
• 18:31
  Yes, you did.
• 18:32
  You learned very quickly because I was like, you gotta put that seat down.
• 18:36
  Felt into the toilet in the middle of the night when I don't have my glasses.
• 18:39
  Dung your donut and you can't see without your glasses.
• 18:43
  This is true.
• 18:44
  cannot see.
• 18:45
  My sister makes fun of me with that same exact thing as you do.
• 18:48
  Well, Scooby Doo has handed us just the best phrase to make fun of people with glasses.
• 18:56
  I mean, you don't even have to think of it.
• 18:59
  It's already done.
• 19:00
  ah Have you ever dropped your glasses in the toilet?
• 19:05
  never.
• 19:06
  Never drop my glasses in the toilet.
• 19:08
  They stay firmly attached to my face.
• 19:11
  Yeah, but you also take them off sometimes.
• 19:15
  So, like, have you ever taken them off?
• 19:17
  I guess you're sitting.
• 19:18
  Never mind.
• 19:19
  I live in a different world.
• 19:22
  yeah.
• 19:23
  I wonder...
• 19:24
  hmm.
• 19:25
  I doubt anybody who wears glasses and is a man has ever dropped them into the urinate.
• 19:32
  But they're standing.
• 19:33
  They might.
• 19:35
  They're pretty like glasses are snug on your face because they don't want them to fall.
• 19:39
  They even have you like tip your head down and shake your face to see if they will fall off and then they tighten them.
• 19:44
  Well I'm glad that I don't and will not ever need glasses, so...
• 19:50
  Yeah, but that's just a formality.
• 19:54
  We'll see.
• 19:55
  uh So the other thing that I wanted to catch before we get too much farther here is what was your response when I told you what this podcast was?
• 20:10
  Because we were I started recording this when we were in our single bathroom house And if you go back and listen to those episodes the audio quality it sounds like I recorded it
• 20:22
  inside of a dumpster
• 20:24
  but that's because I didn't know how to plug a microphone in right.
• 20:28
  So what were your thoughts?
• 20:29
  Like I said, hey, I'm gonna do a podcast about toilets.
• 20:35
  initially it didn't sound too far off from things that you're interested in.
• 20:40
  I was kind of like, okay.
• 20:42
  And then I asked if you were going to do them in public places, which you thought you were.
• 20:45
  And I was very adamant that you check and make sure that that was legal.
• 20:49
  Yeah.
• 20:50
  And it's not.
• 20:51
  Well, it's not that it's not.
• 20:53
  It's just...
• 20:55
  It has the potential to be problematic for you.
• 21:02
  I'm working on it.
• 21:05
  Yeah, why am gonna get arrested?
• 21:07
  People ain't gonna arrest me for...
• 21:08
  get yourself kicked out of stores.
• 21:10
  Well...
• 21:11
  No, but I would get permission.
• 21:13
  I mean, or you could just record in our bathroom and that's totally fine.
• 21:17
  Yeah, but I will tell you this, there was a thrill when I was at Disney World and I'm in those bathrooms with my phone recording.
• 21:26
  It was invigorating.
• 21:28
  Because the one I, I don't remember which bathroom it was.
• 21:33
  I want to say it was Splash Mountain.
• 21:36
  Yeah, no, it wasn't Splash Mountain then because Splash Mountain was disgusting.
• 21:40
  um
• 21:42
  Is this the one by Dombo?
• 21:43
  Maybe one of them I was in and somebody came in and made audible sounds next to me while I was doing my recording and I tried to boost that background audio so hard so that way
• 21:57
  other people could enjoy just the sounds that I had.
• 22:02
  And so there's some sort of a thrill of somebody else that...
• 22:06
  Because I mean, this is the fourth or fifth, third or fourth, I don't know, I think fourth time that I've had like a guest
• 22:13
  on show.
• 22:14
  And so I've recorded with people in the bathroom.
• 22:16
  That's not the barrier.
• 22:17
  And Michael Wall has stumbled in once on accident.
• 22:20
  And that was weird.
• 22:22
  I bet you
• 22:27
  just got scared that I was recording and then just walked away.
• 22:32
  Yeah, but he wasn't like, nobody was on it.
• 22:35
  I was just like in the church bathroom because I don't know.
• 22:38
  I can't remember why.
• 22:39
  It's one of those times where it's like, hey, it's going to be too loud for me to do this at home.
• 22:44
  I'm just going to drive over to the church and post that.
• 22:47
  Maybe you needed to record after I put the kids to bed.
• 22:49
  Probably.
• 22:52
  Did I start this before we had two kids?
• 22:56
  No.
• 23:00
  Anyway, so, but like there's something about somebody who is in the bathroom with you, who's not supposed to be on the audio that is just kind of a thrill.
• 23:13
  ah That's weird.
• 23:16
  I don't know.
• 23:17
  I can't decide.
• 23:18
  It just feels weird.
• 23:21
  It feels like I need to say, don't do that.
• 23:23
  That's bad.
• 23:24
  I can't help it.
• 23:25
  Like, I pushed record before they walked in.
• 23:27
  Like, that's on them.
• 23:29
  But feel like you can pause.
• 23:32
  Yeah, yeah, but it's more entertaining because then also there's this dynamic of me going, well, I wonder what they think I'm up to in here.
• 23:43
  I assume they think I'm on the phone.
• 23:46
  That's a pretty good assumption.
• 23:49
  mean, but who is taking a phone call while they're taking the dog?
• 23:53
  Lots of people do this.
• 23:56
  Our friend, uh Kyle, frequently answers the phone when I call him and he is on the toilet.
• 24:05
  I know you wanted to know that.
• 24:07
  uh
• 24:07
  Yep, sometimes people share too much information.
• 24:13
  that's really what this show is all about is sharing too much.
• 24:17
  So all in all, if you had to give like sharing a bathroom, what are your thoughts?
• 24:24
  Like do you like to share a bathroom?
• 24:26
  Or what's your perfect world?
• 24:28
  Would you rather have your own?
• 24:32
  I don't I mean, I don't know I've never really not the only time I didn't share a bathroom with anybody Was that like half of a year that I lived with your parents?
• 24:43
  Before we married
• 24:45
  was gonzo.
• 24:46
  So you lived what I experienced for 18 years.
• 24:51
  It was just, mean, and I don't know.
• 24:55
  mean, I don't really have an opinion either way.
• 24:58
  It's kind of like, I've done the other thing, you know?
• 25:03
  Like I've had both.
• 25:05
  It's the same with like sharing a room with somebody.
• 25:08
  I've shared a room with somebody essentially my entire life, except for those few months that I lived with your parents.
• 25:15
  And it's kind of the same like.
• 25:18
  Is there one that I prefer more than the other?
• 25:21
  I mean...
• 25:21
  Honestly, I didn't really like having my own room.
• 25:26
  It was weird.
• 25:27
  Huh, well, yep, it's all about, I don't know, where he came from, I guess, because I used to love it.
• 25:37
  And then I went to college and I was like, who is this person?
• 25:41
  Why are you here?
• 25:44
  Yeah, see, that never bothered me.
• 25:46
  I never had a problem with having roommates.
• 25:48
  Yeah, but my roommate, he, I've talked about him before on here.
• 25:52
  um He still remains nameless.
• 25:56
  But, and I love the guy.
• 26:00
  So this, yeah, he, this comes from a good place, but like he regularly, like when he interacted with the bathroom, he would regularly not take all the supplies.
• 26:10
  And so there was always this moment where it's like, man, you didn't think out the next 15 minutes of your life.
• 26:17
  That's.
• 26:18
  the thing that I think it's saying here.
• 26:23
  So I have a series of questions that I ask every person who is on the show.
• 26:29
  And I will not change them just because it's you.
• 26:32
  So the first thing, and I've got to ask, even though I already know the answer, I want you to explain it.
• 26:38
  Because I want your perspective, because I think your perspective is going to be better.
• 26:42
  What type of toilet paper are you using?
• 26:44
  And more importantly, why are you using it?
• 26:47
  Because here we are.
• 26:48
  So what do you got going?
• 26:51
  You mean the kind of toilet paper we buy?
• 26:53
  Yeah, but that's not important.
• 26:55
  What type do you use?
• 26:58
  like Kirkland brand.
• 27:01
  so often we have Charmin Ultra Soft because your mom buys it.
• 27:06
  Yeah.
• 27:07
  Why do we get toilet paper from her?
• 27:10
  Uh, COVID.
• 27:12
  that's right.
• 27:13
  Yeah, my mom like super stock toilet paper at the beginning of COVID and we never ran out, but I think there was a moment where she was trying to get rid of some of that stock.
• 27:24
  That's right.
• 27:25
  That stuff's like a blanket.
• 27:27
  CAUSE YOUR TOILET
• 27:28
  doesn't clog my toilet.
• 27:31
  You got it three squares.
• 27:33
  You only need three squares per wipe.
• 27:36
  No, that also official term is called hole punching yourself and I did it three days ago.
• 27:43
  With the Charmin,
• 27:45
  that's what this is?
• 27:47
  I'm living a lie.
• 27:48
  thought, yeah, look at that.
• 27:49
  It even says Sherman right on it.
• 27:52
  What?
• 27:53
  Yeah.
• 27:55
  I thought this was all Kirkland.
• 27:57
  No, we had I had to buy some charm from the store because I couldn't get to Costco in time
• 28:04
  Stinking bears took our money again.
• 28:07
  Yeah, it's too soft.
• 28:09
  Your fingers go right through it.
• 28:11
  but Kerklein has more girth.
• 28:14
  It's not as soft, but I think it's stronger.
• 28:16
  Kirkland paper is the best paper.
• 28:19
  That's all there is.
• 28:22
  Okay, perfect.
• 28:23
  You and I are in agreement.
• 28:25
  See, look at that.
• 28:27
  We're bonding.
• 28:28
  Are you messing around with bar soap or liquid soap?
• 28:33
  with liquid soap.
• 28:35
  See, you've never heard me do the show from the front room, but you've never heard me ask these questions.
• 28:43
  I'm just now realizing because you're never there for this part.
• 28:46
  Perfect.
• 28:49
  That's how I ask it every time.
• 28:50
  Do you mess around with liquid soap or bar soap?
• 28:54
  We used liquid soap.
• 28:56
  I used bar soap as a kid.
• 28:58
  Because my grandma would buy a bar soap.
• 29:03
  That's fair.
• 29:04
  But like...
• 29:07
  Didn't it, I don't know.
• 29:09
  Doesn't bar soap get weird?
• 29:11
  I mean, there was a lot of us using the bathroom.
• 29:16
  Okay, we went through bar soap quick.
• 29:18
  I'm cool.
• 29:19
  Okay, let me let me jump back in the shower.
• 29:24
  Are you messing around with liquid soap or bar soap?
• 29:28
  I use liquid soap.
• 29:29
  I used bar soap as a kid.
• 29:32
  Yeah, I've used bar soap as No.
• 29:37
  No.
• 29:39
  We shared bar Y'all.
• 29:42
  Y'all shared bars of soap.
• 29:45
  We had our own sponges and washcloths.
• 29:47
  You just lather up your washcloth and Oh no.
• 29:50
  That, don't think, I don't think so.
• 29:53
  I'm pretty sure we did.
• 29:55
  I mean, you can fact check if you want with my older sister.
• 29:59
  No, because I like the world where you did this better.
• 30:02
  um
• 30:03
  But I'm pretty sure we had bars open in the shower and we would use it.
• 30:06
  Yeah.
• 30:07
  Because we used to use it when we would shave our legs.
• 30:12
  Didn't the bar get weird?
• 30:14
  No, you just rinsed it in the hot water before you used it.
• 30:19
  I'm getting massively judged for this.
• 30:22
  there's so many barriers here.
• 30:26
  I love you.
• 30:26
  I don't know if I would share a bar of soap with you.
• 30:29
  It's weird.
• 30:30
  I don't like that.
• 30:31
  Sorry, you just would lather it in your like loofah or your washcloth and then you just grow it.
• 30:39
  I mean, we used it.
• 30:41
  It's not fun to shave your legs with bar soap because your skin gets all dry.
• 30:45
  And so it's more like then like.
• 30:52
  Perfect.
• 30:55
  We'll just get some like shaving stuff.
• 30:59
  Well I didn't get shaving cream or anything like that until I got older.
• 31:07
  I am ju-
• 31:10
  No, I'm pretty sure we had bar soap, but I use liquid soap now and I enjoy it much better.
• 31:16
  But there is some nice bar soaps for the shower.
• 31:19
  Dove has a really nice soft bar soap.
• 31:23
  Irish Spring also good.
• 31:24
  Cause y'all were, my dad used to get, my dad used to get those bars of Irish Spring.
• 31:30
  the green bars.
• 31:33
  They do, but see, there were his bars.
• 31:40
  Well, think about it this way.
• 31:43
  You cannot put individual bars of soap or individual shampoo and conditioner for the amount of us that showered in a shower.
• 31:49
  No, no.
• 31:50
  So we shared soaps.
• 31:53
  Now, razors and things, we had our own individual things.
• 31:57
  I mean, we bought the cheap razors that are you're supposed to use them once and then throw them away, except for we would use them until the blades were no longer sharp.
• 32:08
  And then throw them away.
• 32:09
  Yeah.
• 32:10
  Gosh But like why not just I mean and I know you said your grandma bought the bar so It worked out.
• 32:20
  I Don't know.
• 32:21
  Okay, we're gonna move on Is there a bathroom?
• 32:26
  Essential item or a product that that you want to shout out that has changed like not not toilet like our toilet games pretty pretty average I'm getting ready to upgrade it though
• 32:37
  Okay
• 32:40
  pretty awesome.
• 32:41
  Yep.
• 32:43
  Well, for me, like, I used to have to use bubbles because as you have already stated, I cannot see when I don't have glasses on.
• 32:54
  And so, with this one, um, even though I keep my glasses on for shaving of the legs,
• 33:05
  This one has like a really soft feel and it helps with razor burn.
• 33:11
  Because I used to get really bad razor burn on my legs.
• 33:15
  And the shaving cream itself is the thing that like...
• 33:19
  It's a more sensitive skin and it helps with it.
• 33:22
  uh This one does.
• 33:25
  Weird.
• 33:26
  I mean, it makes sense, but it's, I don't know.
• 33:28
  I did not expect you to say your shaving cream.
• 33:32
  I don't know.
• 33:33
  I expected you to say one of the face scrubby things or a face mask of some sort that you use.
• 33:41
  You're not allowed to talk about that?
• 33:42
  Yes.
• 33:43
  Okay.
• 33:45
  Okay.
• 33:46
  You mean like the little brush that I use when I scrub my face?
• 33:49
  Yeah, that's really nice.
• 33:51
  I enjoy using that quite a bit.
• 33:53
  And I mean, it was two dollars on Amazon.
• 33:56
  with.
• 33:56
  Not a sponsor and we didn't say what it was but Freak off Amazon Or Bezos can he's gonna pay taxes probably I always pay my taxes.
• 34:11
  Um So I'm not gonna ask you the next time I'm I'm gonna edit I I know I said that I would never change these questions But I am gonna change the next question mostly because I
• 34:22
  don't want to be crass Toward you
• 34:27
  So I'm gonna frame it a different way.
• 34:30
  Do you know what a waffle stomp is?
• 34:34
  Yes.
• 34:34
  Perfect.
• 34:35
  And now normally I ask the folks that I have on the show if they have ever performed a waffle stomp.
• 34:41
  I'm not asking you that.
• 34:43
  But I want to know what would you do if you came if you came to the knowledge that I had performed a waffle stomp.
• 34:54
  in our bath in our bathroom.
• 34:56
  The location of it is not important.
• 34:59
  I'm asking what would you do if you came to the knowledge of-
• 35:03
  I think it would depend on where it was performed.
• 35:06
  Well, if you say our bathtub, I need you to say the words.
• 35:11
  Where?
• 35:11
  Pick a location.
• 35:15
  So in this this hypothetical world, we live in an apartment.
• 35:20
  Okay.
• 35:22
  And that's where the hypothetical waffle stomp would happen if it happened.
• 35:28
  what would I do to you?
• 35:30
  No.
• 35:32
  I'll reach the tub.
• 35:35
  Well, we don't live there anymore.
• 35:38
  So if it was like a past me, I ain't gonna say nothing to nobody.
• 35:42
  Well, I know, but what do you do emotionally in like...
• 35:46
  I cleaned the bathtub.
• 35:49
  You clean our current bathtub to deal with the fact that I may, capital may, have done this in the past.
• 35:58
  Okay.
• 36:01
  What about like, it's not important.
• 36:08
  What happened was,
• 36:10
  god.
• 36:12
  I was listening to a podcast.
• 36:15
  think it was, I don't even know if they make the show anymore, but it was Hank and John Green's thing.
• 36:20
  That's where I learned what a waffle stomp was because he was describing how one of them has Crohn's or colitis or something.
• 36:28
  He has to perform these regularly.
• 36:30
  Gross.
• 36:32
  I was like, wait, this is possible?
• 36:35
  It wasn't like a full Charlie, but I did enough to test it.
• 36:41
  You tested it on purpose.
• 36:44
  At the apartment that we used to live at?
• 36:47
  Yeah.
• 36:52
  You never knew.
• 36:53
  I didn't leave a mess.
• 36:54
  Gross.
• 36:55
  Well, I didn't leave a mess though.
• 36:58
  Think about it.
• 36:59
  How do you know you go to somebody's house?
• 37:01
  I will say this, mean, our kids have pooped in the bathtub before and sometimes that goes down the drain.
• 37:12
  That is not good.
• 37:14
  ah Those drains are not for that.
• 37:18
  Those are liquid drains.
• 37:20
  Has it really?
• 37:21
  Oh my god.
• 37:23
  can only catch so much poop and put it in the toilet.
• 37:25
  I know.
• 37:26
  Oh, so that, okay, but that's the other option because there's some people on this planet who instead of performing the stomp will actually like catch the poo drop and then like
• 37:37
  toss it in the toilet from the shower.
• 37:41
  So you're like, no on that.
• 37:42
  Okay, perfect.
• 37:45
  Well, I'm glad that the last few minutes were all hypothetical ah and that we may never know what happened.
• 37:54
  So.
• 37:56
  I've shared on the show and I think my body's becoming acclimated to Taco Bell, which is probably bad.
• 38:03
  But is there a fast food place that just like, you don't have to say what what messes your tummy up because you don't need to talk about that.
• 38:11
  But is there one that you you in your brain lives as like, man, that one is got to be notorious for bad things.
• 38:19
  Like, which one would you tell people?
• 38:21
  Like, if if you're going to have to wear a white suit, don't eat there.
• 38:26
  That's a bad spot.
• 38:28
  Let's say I have to wear a white suit to a wedding.
• 38:31
  Which place would you tell me not to go to besides Taco Bell?
• 38:35
  Applebees.
• 38:37
  You've okay, you know too much.
• 38:42
  Yeah, you know too much Yeah
• 38:45
  But not because Chipotle is bad because Chipotle is freaking delicious.
• 38:50
  But it's still a taco place.
• 38:51
  And if you eat like if you finish your meal at Chipotle, it will cause a situation for you.
• 38:58
  It absolutely will.
• 39:01
  The next question is, how are you on baths?
• 39:05
  I like baths.
• 39:08
  Yeah, so why do you like baths?
• 39:12
  They're relaxing.
• 39:14
  Everybody says they're relaxing.
• 39:16
  You shower off.
• 39:18
  The tub is rinsed and your body is clean.
• 39:22
  which is the only acceptable way to take a bath.
• 39:25
  And then you plug the tub and then I put bath salts, bubble bath.
• 39:30
  And if I'm feeling really ambitious, I forgo bubble bath and I put bath bomb.
• 39:38
  And then your skin is all soft.
• 39:40
  Sometimes it's got glitter on it because some of the bath bombs have glitter.
• 39:43
  What?
• 39:44
  the god dang are you talking about glitter why would
• 39:48
  And changes the bath colors and it smells good.
• 39:51
  And you kind of just go, and your muscles relax because of the hot water.
• 39:58
  Oh man, yeah, so...
• 40:00
  Well, baths are great.
• 40:02
  That's different than my experience.
• 40:03
  My experience is...
• 40:05
  hmm.
• 40:07
  How clean am I really?
• 40:10
  No.
• 40:11
  I'll fix it for you.
• 40:12
  No.
• 40:12
  You shower first and then I'll get it all ready.
• 40:16
  Just try it.
• 40:17
  It's so relaxing.
• 40:18
  Haven't you ever seen Friends?
• 40:20
  Chandler soaks in the bathtub.
• 40:22
  Yeah, but I don't know if I want to be like him.
• 40:25
  I mean, there's a lot of reasons not to be like him.
• 40:28
  Yeah.
• 40:29
  But I think you have to at least try it the way that I do it
• 40:33
  Are you trying to say like, can't go on record with people about their bath situation if I don't take them?
• 40:41
  I know I think you can have your opinion about whether an hour bath is good or you don't like it.
• 40:46
  I think you need to have more information.
• 40:48
  think you need to take one using things that are meant to be relaxing.
• 40:54
  I need to level up my game.
• 40:55
  Yeah, because if you just sit in hot water, that's dumb.
• 40:58
  Well, I put bubble bath in it when I did it, but that it's probably been since middle
• 41:03
  Okay, yeah, see it's been too long you have to try So different than a hot tub Because the atmosphere is different and like hot tubs They have like everybody's sitting in that you
• 41:16
  don't know how clean those people are you have showered off.
• 41:18
  You're sitting in a clean tub with nice relaxing smells
• 41:23
  Hmm, there's a smell fact.
• 41:25
  Mm-hmm.
• 41:28
  You're have to try it.
• 41:29
  May.
• 41:31
  Speaking of trying things that are new, I introduced you to the dark shower.
• 41:37
  Yes.
• 41:39
  What are your thoughts on the dark shower now that you're, I don't know, what a year in of messing around with the dark shower?
• 41:47
  They're kind of relaxing.
• 41:48
  Yes!
• 41:48
  I'm gonna say it's the best thing I learned in college.
• 41:53
  I mean, I don't think I ever took a dark shower in college.
• 41:57
  I don't think I ever
• 41:58
  no, like we regularly were three deep in the shower, like different showers, but three individual stall showers, three deep, with the lights off in Davidson dorm.
• 42:10
  It's like, boom, hit the lights and it's like, you're like a vampire.
• 42:14
  Interesting.
• 42:15
  Screeching.
• 42:15
  I mean, in college, I shared a bathroom with just my roommates.
• 42:18
  We had a bathroom in the dorm.
• 42:20
  Yeah.
• 42:20
  You guys had that private situation.
• 42:23
  I mean, yeah, but if you think about it, the dorm that I lived in was considerably older than yours.
• 42:29
  Yeah, it's true.
• 42:31
  we're not going to get into...
• 42:34
  Nope, I'm going to stop talking now, lest I say things about roommates that were not my roommates.
• 42:45
  So one of the things here as we get towards the end of things is one of the things that you are phenomenal at is you're an amazing mom.
• 42:55
  part of being a mom and really any parent is potty training.
• 43:01
  Now that we're mostly, thank you guys, on the other side of potty training two children.
• 43:10
  For those of you, Anna's parents included in this, who potty trained more than two children, good job.
• 43:22
  You should say no and not just shake your head and bail me out.
• 43:26
  Nope.
• 43:26
  Okay, perfect.
• 43:28
  Sorry.
• 43:29
  So now that we're mostly on the other side of potty training tickets, what are some tips, slash highlights, slash greatest moments or traumatic stories?
• 43:40
  Anything you want to share about potty training.
• 43:43
  Um, well, okay.
• 43:47
  So the thing that I have that I will share that just absolutely drives me bonkers, I'll say about potty training is that when we were potty training our son, it was so
• 44:02
  frustrating.
• 44:02
  We had been working with him on potty training for over a year.
• 44:06
  Yeah.
• 44:07
  Um, and everybody I talked to, everybody was like, one day just clicks.
• 44:13
  Yeah, it just clicks and I remember talking to you about it and being like that's stupid There has to be something and then sure enough.
• 44:24
  Yep.
• 44:24
  One day.
• 44:25
  So our son was not going next day Doing it.
• 44:29
  Yep, and it just freaking clicked
• 44:32
  And I think personally I think it was kind of the same way with our daughter like yeah, not as much
• 44:37
  She didn't take as long to potty train though.
• 44:41
  She was...
• 44:43
  Because it didn't make sense to teach him to go sitting down and then reteach him.
• 44:48
  Also, that kid, he, for what it's worth, and I'm not just trying to brag on our kid, he does a phenomenal job of managing his year.
• 44:59
  It's very seldom that I have to clean up around the bath, oh
• 45:03
  Most little kids are like everywhere.
• 45:06
  They just soak everything down.
• 45:08
  If he misses at all, he will attempt to clean up or he'll freak out to the point where then it's like an immediate cleanup from usually me.
• 45:20
  You definitely did the bulk of the potty training, probably I would say 99 % of it out and about.
• 45:31
  And so would you want to share like, cause I think our kids could sense that.
• 45:37
  because I definitely have been.
• 45:40
  ah
• 45:44
  Yes.
• 45:45
  Yes, you've been both peed and pooped on.
• 45:49
  mean, to be fair, I've also been pooped on, that's from leaky diapers.
• 45:53
  I don't think I've been rocket shot at.
• 45:55
  Yes, like our daughter did to me in a white shirt.
• 45:58
  Yes.
• 45:58
  All that to say is-
• 46:07
  You did great, if there's parents who are like, my freaking kid won't go to the bathroom, they'll figure it out.
• 46:16
  If you keep trying, they will figure it out.
• 46:20
  One of the things that I wish I would have known, and I think you did know and you didn't tell me, and it's a little triggering, but that's fine, we're past it.
• 46:27
  I'm mostly okay.
• 46:29
  Is that when you change the first diaper, like in the hospital,
• 46:32
  I told you it was black.
• 46:34
  That is not my fault that you didn't listen.
• 46:36
  uh Well, I don't know as if I heard it.
• 46:43
  Because I'm not confident that it was said audibly out loud for me to hear.
• 46:51
  But newborn baby poop is like tar.
• 46:55
  And I thought there was something wrong with our newborn child as I changed the first diaper.
• 47:01
  And it's like sticky and black.
• 47:05
  Yep.
• 47:05
  Sticky and black.
• 47:07
  Nope.
• 47:07
  I told you.
• 47:09
  And, and you know, it was probably along that same conversation when I was like, we should probably be doing diapers.
• 47:15
  And you were like, no, we go through like two a day.
• 47:19
  Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say it.
• 47:21
  I was wrong.
• 47:23
  I was definitely, I rolled out into having kids going, we'll just do cloth diapers.
• 47:28
  It'll be simple and we don't even use that many.
• 47:31
  No.
• 47:32
  Yeah, I shut that down way fast.
• 47:34
  Yes, and I will be all over this one.
• 47:38
  I was definitely wrong.
• 47:39
  uh I had no clue.
• 47:41
  How many diapers a baby used?
• 47:43
  I did not know.
• 47:45
  It's a lot.
• 47:46
  Yep.
• 47:48
  Kids wet the bed in the middle of the night and it's the worst thing ever because then there's this like middle of the night scramble to wash everything.
• 47:59
  Yeah, but how many times have you changed them in a night?
• 48:01
  uh
• 48:04
  generally I am playing an assist role.
• 48:07
  Yes, you're in the bed with the kid while I take the 150 million stuffies off the bed, strip all the blankets, hose the bed down with vinegar so it doesn't stink.
• 48:21
  I didn't know that happened.
• 48:22
  See, this is why.
• 48:24
  And then after 15, 20 minutes of cleaning that up, then I come back to bed.
• 48:30
  And that's way faster than I would be able to lock it down anyway.
• 48:34
  yeah, do you have any stories that you want to share that are safe for you to share?
• 48:43
  If not, it's totally fine.
• 48:44
  I have.
• 48:45
  like about the kids or like?
• 48:47
  Anything bathroom related as we we draw near to the end here
• 48:52
  Um, I don't know if you knew this story.
• 48:55
  One time when I was like, I was probably turning our son and uh, he was, he was getting to where he could tell you he needed to go to the bathroom.
• 49:05
  But it was like right then.
• 49:11
  I'm currently going.
• 49:12
  Yeah.
• 49:13
  And I remember picking him up and running him to the bathroom and I pulled down his pull up.
• 49:18
  He dropped a Snickers bar-sized turd on the carpet that goes around the toilet.
• 49:26
  The one that your feet is on currently.
• 49:28
  Is it the same mat?
• 49:30
  It's been washed.
• 49:32
  yes, I watched it lots of times.
• 49:37
  Then because I was like, oh look it, he was so close to the toilet, I took a picture of it and sent it to my sister.
• 49:44
  I feel like I got that picture.
• 49:47
  That was a long time.
• 49:49
  was because it was such a big boot.
• 49:51
  Yes, they produce some good-sized leavings.
• 49:54
  um Remember when we saw that old man peeing outside the church?
• 50:00
  Yes.
• 50:01
  Perfect.
• 50:01
  Enough said.
• 50:02
  All I say is the way he was standing, his wife had a full view of everything he was doing.
• 50:07
  I know you said that old man and some people might be thinking like how old was the old man being outside of his car in front of church five minutes before it let out and then
• 50:18
  people walked through the
• 50:19
  Yes, I'd say 80 years old.
• 50:22
  That's my guess.
• 50:24
  He was very old.
• 50:26
  Gosh, that's such a fun story.
• 50:28
  Yeah, it anyway.
• 50:31
  The one other question I have.
• 50:33
  So you we as we as a family have been a purchaser of the blue barf bags.
• 50:39
  um
• 50:42
  Has there ever been a moment where you've thought of using one of those?
• 50:49
  not you again because I know you would not because you have decency but what no go back what would your response be if I in a pickle needed to use one as a porta potty
• 51:07
  I mean, it's probably sturdy enough.
• 51:09
  Right, it seems, okay, so I was sitting here on the toilet the other day playing with one.
• 51:14
  Yeah, because we have them next to the toilet because I use them when I throw up.
• 51:18
  And we, yeah.
• 51:20
  They just swing right through that one.
• 51:23
  um But I was sitting here thinking, was like, cause we were talking, I can't remember who we talking about.
• 51:28
  Oh, somebody at Young Adults said that they pooped in a Burger King bag one time.
• 51:32
  Ew, that's just gonna disintegrate and get nasty.
• 51:36
  If it's solid enough, I think it'll be fine.
• 51:38
  But I say you're thinking like these blue bags are kind of perfect.
• 51:41
  Like if you were hiking.
• 51:44
  I mean it's
• 51:46
  It's- You just do it and tie it off and-
• 51:49
  They're good thick bags and it has like a rim so you could like
• 51:54
  TM, TM, TM, TM.
• 51:56
  Like, we could market these hiking poop bags.
• 52:00
  They're probably already a thing.
• 52:01
  I'm not gonna look it up right now.
• 52:03
  uh But hiking poop bags.
• 52:05
  I mean, they have, like I said, they have an edge and I don't know if you've looked at them, that they have a place where you can twist them and clip them into the top of it so
• 52:16
  it's closed.
• 52:19
  Yeah.
• 52:22
  Look.
• 52:23
  What?
• 52:23
  Oh, yeah.
• 52:27
  So you just twist the bag tight and then you lift it and hook it into the piece and it's closed.
• 52:33
  See, if they made those that were flammable, you could just burn it when you get to where you're camping.
• 52:38
  Interesting.
• 52:39
  That is all I have.
• 52:41
  Thank you for joining us.
• 52:43
  It was very great.
• 52:47
  Also, for what it's worth, your voice sounds very cool.
• 52:51
  It does.
• 52:52
  My voice always sounds like I chewed on gravel 15 minutes before I decided to do this.
• 52:58
  It always sounds like I've got something jammed in my nose.
• 53:01
  Well, I mean, you have allergies.
• 53:03
  Yeah, but still.
• 53:05
  But thank you for joining us.
• 53:06
  um And thank you all for listening.
• 53:10
  You get to see the behind the shameful plug curtain.
• 53:13
  So I'm just going to go.
• 53:16
  You can follow us, social media, at privycast.
• 53:20
  Leave us a rating or review.
• 53:22
  You can do that.
• 53:23
  You can leave ratings on Spotify now.
• 53:25
  So leave us a rating on Spotify.
• 53:28
  And it's really easy.
• 53:31
  Theirs is 100 times easier than Apple Podcasts.
• 53:34
  So if you want a low effort rating, do it on Spotify.
• 53:38
  But do it on both.
• 53:39
  As always, we want to thank Kevin MacLeod for the use of Barroom Ballet as our intro and outro music.
• 53:46
  You can find Kevin's music at incompetech.com.
• 53:50
  His music is licensed under Creative Commons license attribution 4.0.
• 53:55
  Thanks, Kevin.
• 53:56
  This has been another episode of Privy.
• 53:59
  Thank you so much for joining us.
• 54:01
  Thank you for being here.
• 54:03
  And now, as always, don't forget to flush.
• 54:12
  you