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In the Shadow of the Cross · Infinitely Precious

• 0:00
  Intro: Welcome to the Infinitely Precious Podcast produced by Infinitely Precious LLC. Your host is James Henry. Remember, you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are.
• 0:12
  James: Hello, beloved. I welcome you today. It's me, James. And today I wanted to reflect about how on Good Friday we stand still even to this day in the shadow of the cross. It's a place of heartbreak, of unanswered questions, a place of endings not yet redeemed.
• 0:39
  Good Friday is a day in which we pause not to rush towards the Easter resurrection story, but instead to pay attention to the aching silence and the weight of suffering. Today I invite you to reflect with me on where do you find yourself in this story of suffering? So I think for many of us there are probably more places you might find yourself, but I sort of thought three places that we might find ourselves in the story of suffering. The first one is right in the midst of it. Maybe you're in the middle of something that's very heavy in your life.
• 1:38
  The betrayal is still fresh. The loss is still raw. You're carrying a cross of your own and it's not a theory. It's not just a biblical story about what happened to Jesus. It's something that is happening in your life.
• 1:53
  You are feeling the pain and you're carrying it. When I think about the day, you know, it's kind of a rush to judgment day for Jesus. And then he must carry his cross, and after the beatings and all of the things that go into the preparation leading up to his being hung on a cross, he then is asked to, in his weakened state, carry his cross and he can't even quite make it there. The weight of the cross heavy on his shoulder. And perhaps you can identify with that.
• 2:35
  You can identify with something you're carrying right now on your shoulders that already feel beaten down, and it is a heavy burden. I want to invite you to just be honest. What hurts right now? What are you feeling? What is weighing heavy on you if you find yourself in the midst of suffering right now?
• 3:04
  Can you speak of it aloud to God? Can you cry out to God, whether it's in anger, frustration, pain, uncertainty, wherever you find yourself in the midst of that pain and suffering, can you call out to God? Can you share that, as it were, with God in whatever form prayer takes? A second place we might find ourselves is in recovery from suffering. Perhaps the worst of whatever you are suffering is behind you, but the wound remains and you're aware of it.
• 3:48
  It may be fresh, It may not even be fresh. It may be older, but like a heavy burden, you still carry it. Think of the disciples hiding in fear, not sure what comes next. Your life had been perhaps measured by some certain thing, and now it's gone. And you suffered through the loss of that thing, that relationship, that person in your life, and you're not still sure what is next.
• 4:21
  And you're in that process of trying to catch your breath, you're breathing again, but still afraid perhaps to hope. That place of healing and recovery. And it's an opportunity for you to perhaps reflect if you're in that place of recovering from suffering, what has shifted, what has changed for you, What part of you survived? And what seems to be missing? The third movement of suffering that I'll bring up is one where we can anticipate coming.
• 5:07
  We're standing on the edge of something, something we fear. Perhaps it's a diagnosis, a goodbye, a choice you know that will cost you something. What do you need to face what's coming? Courage? Grace?
• 5:29
  Community? How will you in this moment of anticipated suffering prepare yourself for whatever it is to come, for the hard decision, for the fortitude to stand up in the midst of it. It is not as easy as some might imagine with that anticipation of what may yet come, but you see it in the distance. Perhaps you find yourself in the same place as Jesus did in the garden. Not exactly the same place, but in a similar place where what you see ahead, the suffering that lies in the future, is something you ask not to have to suffer.
• 6:17
  Take this cup away from me. I don't want to do it but not my will, That crying out before the suffering comes. Wherever you find yourself in the midst of suffering, recovering from suffering or anticipating suffering, they're all places in the story and there are places that you can be and that you have the strength and resilience to stand up in the midst of. Now, second maybe having located ourselves in the story, a second question to ask is what must we die to? In the midst of this suffering, what must we let go?
• 7:08
  The cross wasn't just an event, a story we tell ourselves once a year on Good Friday. It was an invitation. Jesus invited us not only to engage his suffering and our own, but to enter into our own transformation, which comes and happens oftentimes through the pain and suffering. Don't tell that to someone who's in the midst of suffering. And if you're in the midst of suffering, I'm not minimizing that by saying this is an opportunity to be transformed.
• 7:44
  I'm saying that whether we like it or not, suffering and pain do transform us. In the midst of it, what are the things that no longer serve us? And can we release them? What illusions about our life or about the world in which we live must we let die? We've maybe been keeping them on life support in our system, trying to hold on to them, but they clearly no longer serve us.
• 8:15
  What must we let die? What attachments are we being called to release? Attached to a specific idea of what future looks like. Attached to a specific relationship that we want to make work no matter what, attached to a certain kind of work that we do, assuming that that work defines us. What are the attachments which we may not even have a choice about releasing.
• 8:50
  What are they? Perhaps another question, another way to look is what stories have we told ourselves about God, ourselves and others that no longer hold truth? Have we told ourselves that this suffering we're going through is some kind of punishment for something else we did in life? And we realize this suffering just happened. It can't be a punishment.
• 9:23
  Letting someone else blame us for the place we find ourselves No longer holds true for us. It's kind of the story of what Job's friends told him. Must be your fault, buddy, that for the reason you're suffering and losing all of these things. Those are not good friends, the friends that tell you it's all your fault. When you're suffering, you're suffering.
• 9:48
  What are the ideas about God, about yourself, about your life that are no longer holding true? And can you release them? Dying to these things, releasing these things is not about shame. It's about releasing those things that no longer bring us life, whatever it may be. It may take a lot of courage, but it's not about shame.
• 10:27
  It's not about guilt. It's about releasing the things that no longer can tell us who we are. Some things must die for resurrection to become possible. As one of my favorite preaching teachers said to me, Bobby MacLean, said to the whole class in a class about preaching in the black tradition, he said, You cannot have Easter without Good Friday. You cannot have resurrection without crucifixion.
• 10:57
  Letting go of the things, dying to the things that stand in the way of a future is not something we can do. So perhaps you need to let go of the need to have it all figured out because no matter how many times you are sure you have it figured out, something will throw a wrench into that. You don't have it all figured out. I was certain in my mid twenties I had figured out who God was and what God was all about, and over and over again my limited image of God has been broken open further and further and further and further. Perhaps you need to release perfectionism in your life.
• 11:39
  As a recovering perfectionist myself, all that perfectionism really does for me is it makes me delay doing something because I don't think it'll be perfect. So I put it off and then there's an excuse why it isn't good, and that excuse is that I put it off until so late with so little effort that it just didn't quite turn out. Surrendering control. Most of the things in our lives are way beyond our control. We like the illusion of control.
• 12:11
  It's another one of those illusions we need to let go of, but the idea that we're in control is an illusion. Can we let go of it? Can we let go of and end the cycles of bitterness and blame in our lives? Can you do that? See to me this is why we do Good Friday.
• 12:34
  It may be the once a year opportunity for us to reflect on the suffering in our lives, the suffering we're going through that we went through in the past or that may be coming. The changes that cause us consternation and fear about the uncertainty that lies ahead. It's an opportunity for us to take seriously, to take seriously what is in the midst of it all. So wherever you find yourself in the story of the suffering of Good Friday, wherever it is hitting home for you, I hope you'll take it seriously, not run away from it, not rush ahead to resurrection, but actually learn whatever lesson it is that maybe once you hear the story you won't feel so alone because Jesus suffered. He was concerned in anticipation of the suffering and he was also you know, the opportunity for healing is in the ultimate letting go.
• 13:34
  So take a moment today, if you will, and reflect. What do I need to let go of? Where am I in the midst of sorrow and suffering? Can I say that aloud? Can I call to God in the midst of it?
• 13:53
  And release those things that no longer serve me. I encourage you. Let this be a time where you don't turn away from the pain, but you give back. You hold it, stay with it until you have passed through to the other side. Great courage and resilience to you this day.
• 14:22
  Remember that in the midst of suffering though you may not feel it, you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are. I wish you all the very best. Until the next time.