Latest / Terri Messenger's Genius Zone / Creating Habits for High Success to Avoid Burnout Interview with Melisa Sarneki.mp3

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Creating Habits for High Success to Avoid Burnout Interview with Melisa Sarneki.mp3 · Terri Messenger's Genius Zone

0:02
Hey, hey hey. I am so excited today.
0:07
This is exactly what I needed to hear in the very beginning of my
0:15
very highly driven career. So I believe that anyone who is
0:23
really driven, really motivated, really passionate has to have
0:30
Some kind of a process that is going to avoid the burnout.
0:35
Now the fact is there's so many tools out there and there is a
0:41
whole lot of complicated processes and techniques but
0:47
let's face it if you are a busy high-flying person, you want to
0:53
be able to have resources implemented into your life that
0:59
is going. Enable you to have the kind of
1:03
Harmony, the kind of energy and that element of being able to
1:08
take it into your day and then come home at night and have that
1:14
same zest and that same energy. So this lady I'm about to
1:20
introduce you to, she has a masters in social work and not
1:28
only did she She become an advocate for doctors and nurses
1:35
so that she would be supporting them so that they could have
1:41
that equilibrium. They could have that support
1:44
because let's face it, we all need something.
1:48
And like I said it's not always about something that's
1:53
complicated. So you know this is about the
1:56
science behind self care. And even though we don't mention
2:01
the word self-care in this recording, I can tell you right
2:06
now that Melissa K with her bachelor's in psychology and her
2:12
Masters in Social Work understands trauma, understands
2:19
burnout and understands very well even through her own
2:25
experience. So you're going to really find
2:29
and that during this podcast, you're going to be given some
2:33
day to day tools where you can Implement habits.
2:38
Now, she was an Avid Reader of the book Atomic habits, and this
2:45
is the way that your habits can completely revolutionize your
2:51
life, it doesn't have to be hard.
2:53
It doesn't have to take months, or even years.
2:57
It just begins with a Get out the door to Rome.
3:02
So if you are a busy person, you love and you are passionate
3:08
about what you do. You want to have that
3:12
equilibrium every day, but at the same time you want to have
3:17
Harmony. You are going to want to sit
3:19
back and listen to this incredible episode and Melissa K
3:26
is so generous. And so passionate that as As she
3:30
is launching her program, through this podcast with her
3:36
many years of experience, and what she knows she has
3:41
generously, offered 10%, was that generously?
3:46
I said, generously, didn't I just checking?
3:50
So she has very kindly applied 10%.
3:55
So, if you're listening to this podcast, you'll see the link
3:58
where you can connect. With her.
4:01
And if you just want to listen for the sake of, you know,
4:04
really engaging in some simple and yet profound tools to help
4:09
you get through your day where you don't have time to get to
4:13
the gym. You don't have time to be
4:16
learning or applying yourself into expensive programs.
4:20
And these arduous long, tasks and processes that take so long.
4:26
So if that is you and you want Practical application and you
4:32
want to know what the secrets behind some of the most highly
4:37
successful Achievers is then, sit back, grab yourself your
4:43
favorite drink, relax and listen to this upcoming session and I
4:49
bring you the amazing Melissa K who developed and is a founder
4:55
of equilibrium, architect Academy.
5:00
Taking you from overwhelm to the internal Bliss of Harmony.
5:09
Hey, hey. Hey, Melissa.
5:12
How are you? I am doing well.
5:15
How are you Terry? I am so excited and you know
5:21
this subject that we are about to embark on, excites me so much
5:29
because I feel that your description of the person that,
5:37
you know, No, really wants this kind of control in their life.
5:43
They want to have this kind of control and I know that I'm the
5:47
sort of person that loves to be in control.
5:50
I want to be in control of my time, I want to be in control of
5:53
my body. I want to be in control of my
5:56
life and I want to have the confidence and energy every
6:02
single day to show up and be present and know that I can
6:07
thrive in that equation. Abraham.
6:09
So I can't wait to just get inside and find out all of these
6:16
gold nuggets. So, tell me.
6:18
First of all, you became a social worker.
6:23
And obviously, you know, you were supporting people, you
6:28
know, in crisis and, you know, as a person with such an
6:33
incredible background, what kind of Drew you too?
6:38
Going into this kind of psychology in the first place,
6:43
you know, I always kind of felt as even as a kid.
6:46
I remember being the friend that always wanted to help people and
6:50
so I think there was that sense of always wanting, I really
6:54
wanted people to see and get to the best version of themselves
6:57
at the end of the day, right? That excited me to see my
7:00
friends ex succeed and reach new achievements.
7:05
And I think that started the kind of draw to Social Work.
7:08
And then it was really wanting people to recognize that they
7:14
have power to bring themselves in different situations and
7:17
being able to be the advocate for them and help them to find.
7:20
Those resources was really what drew me.
7:23
Mmm, because it's a big responsibility and there's
7:27
always that passion that sort of comes from an inner desire.
7:32
That's what I feel and especially because the name of
7:35
the show is, you know, the genie is zones. so I love, you know,
7:40
discovering how people had a situation that happened to them
7:48
in their own life that really brought about some magic and
7:55
it's interesting because you say that you pivoted from being a
8:01
social worker that was burnt out and then going into the online
8:06
space, can you tell me because Very very you know, typical for
8:12
people who are in that kind of work you know High League people
8:17
people that have got very high expectations of themself, what
8:23
were you going through when you were burnt out?
8:25
How did you know? Yeah, so the ironic thing is I
8:29
didn't recognize it actually, it was more the people around me
8:32
about started to recognize it. What they would notice is I was
8:37
working long hours so I never New my schedule, I wasn't able
8:40
to necessarily commit to things outside of work because
8:43
sometimes I never knew when I would be out of work.
8:45
And I was tired of feeling as though, I was letting people
8:49
down by missing plans. So I would just not make plans
8:52
and it was people in my life that started to recognize, hey,
8:57
you know, you aren't seemingly as around us as much or also for
9:03
me, it was a lack of energy. I was just so tired all the time
9:07
and I wasn't able to Focus on the present moment and I think
9:11
there are a lot of people who are going to find themselves in
9:14
the situation, when we give give, give, give give all day,
9:17
whether it be to our clients, our family.
9:19
Or, for me, it was my job. If we don't give back to
9:24
ourselves, we're just draining our bodies and mind and we're
9:28
not refueling them. And that's exactly where I was.
9:32
Hmm, incredible. And you know what, I'm hearing
9:36
true because obviously Your passion is really about bringing
9:43
people's habits and the Simplicity of changing your
9:49
life. Through some, you know,
9:53
incredible resources that simply mean getting up in the morning
9:59
getting out of bed and doing the right things.
10:02
So you know can you talk me through some of those things
10:08
that Began doing because obviously, you became an Avid
10:13
Reader. And, of course, you read the
10:16
book am habits and what do you think?
10:20
Can you tell our, you know, listeners about the book Atomic
10:24
habits? Because I really feel that's
10:25
going to give a really good overview of what people can
10:29
expect to really get out of this this show today.
10:34
So can you talk about what that book is really based on?
10:38
Sure. So that book is really based on
10:41
building habits and it was a book that I had been recommended
10:45
at the beginning of my journey. So I had just kind of pivoted at
10:48
this point to working in the online space and building out my
10:52
coaching business. And at that point I was, I was
10:56
still looking. I was searching for things to
10:58
kind of help myself as well, to really Pivot and heal from my
11:04
burnout journey and so I had come across this book and what
11:09
stood out to me, the most is how simple it really helped me to
11:15
think of things, right? So one of the ideas that I'm
11:17
sure people have heard of them. If you haven't, it's called stab
11:21
habit, stacking. So it's this idea that you're
11:25
already doing habits throughout your day, right?
11:27
Or things to take care of yourself, like even brushing
11:29
your teeth, right? It's a habit and a self care
11:31
practice. We don't even Necessarily think
11:33
of we just do. And so, this gave you the
11:36
example of, if you want to add a new habit, really working with
11:41
your brain, so, your brain is already doing certain habits.
11:45
So, why not just tack on another one right after, so, it feels
11:48
very seamless, right? So it's, I want to add a good
11:53
example, would be flossing after you brush your teeth, right?
11:56
It's okay. So let's leave that and do that
11:58
right after? It's a habit, that then we just
12:00
transition transition. To and before we know it, it's
12:03
part of our routine. Mmm.
12:06
That's very clever, isn't it? I mean, I know that they talk
12:10
about, you know, becoming quite ritualistic, like, getting out
12:14
of bed in the morning and, and making your bed, they reckon
12:17
that there's something ironic about a person who decides to
12:23
make their bed because they say that psychologically.
12:26
It's like one achievement that you've accomplished and
12:31
apparently, Has an incredible impact on the rest of our day.
12:38
So why do you think habits are so important for, you know,
12:43
people especially the people that, you know, I know you love
12:48
dealing with like, you know, these high Achievers, people
12:52
that want the energy that want the confidence, they want to
12:55
have it all and their want to be able to have that Harmony.
12:59
And you know, just that centeredness in there.
13:02
Life. Tell me why is it so important
13:06
for them to have habits? So for me, it was the aha moment
13:11
of the science behind the habits.
13:13
What are these things doing to fuel our bodies, right?
13:16
They're giving us endorphins, they're giving us energy,
13:19
they're helping our brains to concentrate and it's for me it's
13:23
understanding that things. Such as a movement break, right
13:27
in your middle, in the middle of your day, are actually going to
13:30
bring your brain back on. Fine.
13:32
It's going to give your brain that rest that it needs to come
13:35
back and really fire through the rest of your day.
13:39
And so for me, understanding and spending time learning about my
13:44
body and how really these habits are just fuel for me.
13:50
And so then it was a different perspective, it was not so much.
13:55
Okay, I'm checking off this thing because I know it's good
13:57
for me, right? Because I think sometimes that's
13:59
how we feel. It feels like another thing.
14:02
On our checklist. But for me, it's oh my gosh.
14:06
I'm fried right now, right? It's lunchtime.
14:10
I need this break, or I need to go for the walk, because then
14:14
it's going to refuel my brain. It's going to give me the
14:17
endorphins, boost my energy, boost my concentration.
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So I'm gonna just succeed with the rest of the day.
14:26
Mmm, and do you know, would you suggest that habits are some
14:32
Thing that I implemented like throughout the day or would you
14:38
say that? You know what would you suggest
14:40
like when you went from obviously burnt out from being a
14:47
social worker, I mean you are taking care even, you know,
14:52
prior because of all your accreditations and what you done
14:56
but you became an advocate for people and you were supporting
15:01
doctors and nurses. And you know so you're in a very
15:04
like that responsibility that dedication is incredible.
15:08
So at that point when you moved into social work and then you
15:13
literally burnt out, what was the first set of habits that you
15:18
began implementing and when were you actually doing them?
15:23
So for me, the first set of habits that I started adding
15:28
were movement, I started to recognize that when I Arted my
15:32
day with movement, for me very much at the beginning, it
15:36
impacted the rest of my day. I had much more energy.
15:40
I was feeling like an improved mood and so for me that's the
15:46
biggest habit I started with and and I also found I had tried
15:49
doing movement or exercise at night and for me it didn't help
15:53
me. It kind of kept me up so it had
15:55
the opposite effect. So I think it's very important
15:58
for people. To give themselves some time to
16:01
try things out. Because for me, I now know,
16:05
movement is the key way to start my day.
16:09
Absolutely. So, you know, from the moment
16:12
you open your eyes, obviously, bathroom and all that sort of
16:15
stuff. Talk about talk me through what
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kind of habits you've implemented.
16:22
So, for me on the mornings, I have where I'm not at my job.
16:27
I will start my day off in, with a walk.
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Walk even if it's just down the block right?
16:31
It just gets that my body going. I also try to not be on my phone
16:36
during it so it's really a time where I'm focused on the present
16:40
because I just know that we do not take enough time throughout
16:43
our day to focus on the present and have our brains, be able to
16:48
just take a rest and just notice things around us is incredible.
16:54
How much that helps us because then were able to build a
16:57
practice of slowing our brains down.
16:59
On and being more in control of those thoughts.
17:03
So that's really for me the key to starting my day.
17:07
Hmm. I mean that's, that's incredible
17:10
because I know even with when I was learning as a hypnotherapist
17:17
about people's body and actually getting them to trim down and
17:22
get rid of the excess kilos, one of the first things we had to,
17:27
you know, really learn is that the, the human mind is quite
17:32
rebellious and it doesn't stick to certain things.
17:36
So it's, you know, like when you're talking about diets and
17:40
fads and, you know, going to the gym every day, a lot of the
17:45
time, the wheels fall off. So we kind of had to be very I
17:51
guess subliminal almost and the person almost had to really
17:57
Embrace and embody. The way they wanted to do life.
18:02
So, when you talk about, you know, body movement, you know,
18:06
I'm thinking about the kind of movement that, I even suggest,
18:11
which is doable for anyone any time at any stage of your life,
18:18
whether you're young, whether you are all dad, even man woman
18:23
even pregnant. So you know what kind of body
18:27
movements? Like, are you talking about
18:29
like, If someone sitting at their desk and there perhaps
18:33
their online because I know that I spend a lot of time at my
18:37
desk. So obviously you know do you set
18:42
an alarm and then what is it? You just standing up and you
18:45
just kind of moving your body a little bit.
18:48
Or you know what what kind of suggestions do you give around
18:53
that? Sure.
18:54
So for me I have found that I don't personally set an alarm
18:59
Some people will set an alarm for say every hour or something.
19:03
I have found that I'm a person that sometimes my brain is in a
19:06
flow with work and almost better for me to not interrupt that.
19:11
So, I have found that really doing body scans and starting to
19:15
notice the messages. Your body is going to tell you
19:18
when it needs a break, right? If you're sitting there and
19:20
you're saying like I think of my brain is fried.
19:23
I can't focus like how many times have we said that, right?
19:26
That's a key that your body produces.
19:29
Probably needs a little bit of movement and a little bit of
19:32
change of scenery, right to come back.
19:34
And then refocus, I wouldn't necessarily say for some people
19:38
every hour because if you're in that stage of flow, sometimes
19:41
you don't want to disrupt it, right?
19:43
So yeah, that's true. Yeah.
19:47
So for me it's been a journey of really, recognizing, okay?
19:50
My body is giving me some messages right now.
19:54
I'm going to take a break. So some breaks for me might look
19:57
like I have different apps to that.
19:59
Sometimes I use to help me but quick meditations have been
20:03
really good for me. Also go.
20:06
I like, as I said, I live in kind of a neighborhood.
20:10
So a quick walk around the neighborhood.
20:11
Doesn't take me long, but it gets me outside.
20:14
Gets me. Moving some stretches, they have
20:17
some pretty simple. Even if you don't feel as
20:20
though, you want to get up, some some desk stretches that you can
20:24
do. And the other, his body scans
20:27
body scans are really powerful because Because if you're
20:30
noticing you're not focusing or you feel a little distracted,
20:35
really. What I do is close my eyes.
20:37
You kind of go from your head to your toes, you scan like each
20:40
part of your body, you're probably going to notice some
20:42
tension somewhere and it's really kind of shaking that
20:47
tension out, whether it be in your shoulders, for a lot of
20:49
people, it's kind of squeezing your shoulders and then
20:52
releasing and doing that a few times.
20:55
Really. Your brain is kind of noticing
20:57
that spot. You're really able to loosen
21:00
those muscles that you might not even realize you're hunched
21:02
over. And then after that, you'll
21:04
notice your kind of feeling a little, you're sitting taller
21:07
almost in your in your chair, right?
21:10
Yeah, I mean, it's quite incredible how we are as humans.
21:16
And what I'm really hearing here is self-awareness and that
21:22
self-awareness even to the point where it's interesting that when
21:26
you first were talking about how you fell into that trap of
21:32
burnout, other people noticed it before, you did, and I wonder if
21:37
I can kind of relate to that because I really you know sort
21:41
of go back to my very very earlier days when I was very
21:47
driven and I was out of control actually I was out of control
21:52
and it was almost like because I wanted to get my life in control
21:56
or I may have felt like my life wasn't in control that I went
21:59
out of control so we're very ironic humans you know and you
22:05
know the fact was that when I did go down Didn't see it
22:11
coming. But what I'm hearing is that you
22:13
didn't either and when I listen to your story and how your
22:17
friends kind of noticed and you started sort of pulling away
22:22
from them and you weren't socializing then sort of like
22:27
fast forward, you know, into the zone of Genius of where you've
22:33
been able to, take all your skill sets as a social worker or
22:38
your accreditations. Of what you've done in therapy
22:43
Crisis Care and you've been able to simplify everything through,
22:49
you know, engaging in simple habits.
22:53
But it just amazes me actually Melissa on how simple this is,
22:59
but how the awareness Factor seems to play, such a vital
23:05
part. So tell me what has been like
23:10
One of the biggest breakthroughs that you've witnessed with a
23:15
person who obviously is in a bad place and they've implemented
23:21
some of these, you know, really easy and simple lifestyle habits
23:27
and made a complete change. Can you tell?
23:31
Can you talk me through that? Yeah, so I think for me again,
23:36
it's it's just as, as what you had said, it's when When you
23:40
realize, that things can be simple and sustainable, it's
23:45
almost that Ah-Ha moment, right? It's oh my goodness.
23:49
I knew that this was good for me, say journaling, right?
23:52
But I didn't realize what it was doing for me and I think it's,
23:57
it's the aha moment of Wow. Like this is so much power that
24:04
I was just overlooking almost, right?
24:06
I wasn't thinking about what it is doing and how if I Journal
24:10
out my thoughts. Okay.
24:12
Now all of a sudden I have this big picture of thoughts, I can
24:16
look at them and I find sometimes the answer in your
24:19
journaling, right? Which is incredible because five
24:22
minutes ago you were feeling stuck and you didn't know where
24:25
to go but then you knew of this tool so you used it and then you
24:29
wrote out all your thoughts and then All of a sudden you're
24:32
seeing, oh my goodness. My thoughts are telling me the
24:35
answer right versus being stuck in that moment for the rest of
24:40
your day, right? Because we've all I feel like a
24:42
lot of us have been there. We've been stuck, not knowing
24:45
what to do feeling overwhelmed, feeling out of control, not
24:50
knowing where to turn and then realizing, oh my goodness, these
24:55
simple things that I know you've probably heard a hundred times
24:59
in your life. Actually have this incredible
25:03
power for you and that transformation.
25:07
Seeing someone go through that or yourself go through it.
25:10
It's so empowering because all of a sudden realize you can
25:15
create some of this control and you can have a solution when
25:20
you're feeling overwhelmed, right?
25:23
Whereas maybe before you started building these habits or looking
25:27
into them, you felt out of control and and didn't know what
25:30
to do. Oh my gosh.
25:34
Absolutely and it just makes me think of those times in my life,
25:42
which I, you know, didn't realize what was going on for
25:48
me. And if I could have just had
25:51
those simple elements of being able to know these things like
25:57
journaling and how being able to write down on paper.
26:01
Some of those Thoughts means that it's getting it out of your
26:05
head onto the paper and therefore it's helping you
26:09
process. And when you're sort of getting
26:11
in touch with your body and your, you know, not only are
26:15
you, sort of like, becoming aware of oh, where am I holding
26:18
this tension. But even a love what you said
26:21
about, how you even, then tighten the tension.
26:25
So that you're physically taking control of it almost and then
26:29
releasing it and letting it go. And there's just so much.
26:33
What magic in this. But, you know, the other thing
26:36
that really gets me and grabs me about the whole genius Zone.
26:42
And what I see in people like yourself is that the weakness of
26:48
a person's greatest, you know, trial that they've had in their
26:53
life. Like, where you've talked about,
26:57
you know, moments where you have literally fell out of control,
27:02
like, In high school when you were going through that
27:04
transition and then there was this element of even in your
27:08
childhood where you felt that out-of-control feeling as well.
27:14
And then interestingly, you also notice that you would get
27:19
frustrated because you were saying to me that you felt a
27:23
little bit like wool. Why is this happening anyway
27:26
because there was no Rhyme or Reason but then we discovered
27:32
That sometimes, when it doesn't come from us, where does it come
27:36
from Melissa? The past.
27:40
Exactly. And not just the past, we're
27:44
talking how far back Seven Generations, I think you told
27:49
me, if and generations will look, it can even go beyond
27:55
that, but isn't it interesting that you were even discovered?
27:59
Like there was a sense it was almost like you had a sense that
28:03
there was this, there's some concept of something that's out
28:08
of control and, you know, that there's nothing that you could
28:12
pinpoint in your own life. But there was a concept that it
28:15
happened in the Duration, before you.
28:19
And, you know, this is the interesting part.
28:22
So, obviously, when people are like, you've obviously, this is
28:27
something you've grappled with. But this is the interesting part
28:31
for me, because what, you've grappled with, you've then
28:35
become the master of, and this is what I love, because you kind
28:40
of take that. So for that person who is really
28:46
wanting And that person that's really wanting a Harmony.
28:51
Obviously their biggest grit or what I call their biggest GE is
28:58
going to be what absolutely goes against their value system.
29:02
So you know, tell me, what do you think was so bad about
29:08
feeling out of control? What did it mean for you?
29:12
I think for me when I would kind of feel out of control the Her
29:17
really was. I didn't know how to fix that
29:20
and so it just snowballed, right?
29:23
It was this idea of I'm feeling overwhelmed of feeling
29:26
overwhelmed. Oh no, I'm feeling overwhelmed.
29:28
Oh no, I'm feeling overwhelmed. Like it just cat got bigger
29:32
versus now. It's, it's okay.
29:36
Yeah, I'm feeling overwhelmed, but I have a toolbox of things
29:39
that I know and I can tell myself.
29:42
Yeah, your brains trying to tell you something or your body is
29:44
trying to tell you something and You know that sometimes are well
29:49
all the time, right? Our brain wants to protect us.
29:52
So these feelings of overwhelmed come up because their brain
29:55
senses danger, whether or not there's danger around us for me,
30:00
what was frustrating is most of the time there, wasn't any
30:02
danger that I could pinpoint but my brain still was trying to
30:05
protect me. Now, I have these tools to
30:09
recognize that and to kind of almost have a conversation with
30:13
my brain, right? Of okay, you're feeling
30:16
overwhelmed. I First and that and then I can
30:19
look at the situation. Is there any danger?
30:22
Yes or no. And then I can pull from my
30:24
toolbox and say, okay, let's go take a walk or let's connect
30:28
with a friend and just take a break here, right?
30:31
It's I can give us that that piece to calm myself back down
30:36
and then move on to the rest of the day.
30:39
It doesn't stay with me throughout the day.
30:41
I don't snowball into. I don't know what to do.
30:45
I'm stuck. It's I have a toolbox.
30:47
I know this is a message. What's the message?
30:51
Mmm. Absolutely.
30:53
And this is the science behind the self-care that you're so
30:56
passionate about. So you know, what does science
31:01
actually say about self-care? There's so much research.
31:06
It's it's incredible. If you start even just a basic
31:09
Google search, like what you find of how self care is really?
31:14
The way I think of it. It's the fuel for your body.
31:17
It's What's keeping you going throughout the day, your
31:19
muscles, your organs, all of the different parts of your body and
31:23
then it's helping you in things like productivity efficiency,
31:27
time management, all of these different things and it's even
31:32
helping prevent certain things. There's so much research on it
31:34
preventing certain diseases or helping you to be at lower risk
31:39
for certain things. And so it's actually incredible.
31:44
It was mind-blowing as I was going through it and it is So
31:48
empowering because you realize, you have some control in these
31:51
things and you can give your body what it needs in that
31:54
moment. Mmm, that's so good.
31:57
It's and I think we need to hear it people like myself and I know
32:02
a lot of our listeners, a lot of coaches he'll as leaders and
32:07
just people that are really passionate and, you know, I have
32:12
to say it's sad but it's true that the more driven that ER it
32:18
usually stems from a kind of fundamental void that we had in
32:26
our life. And that's the always, the good
32:28
news and I feel that when people start to develop that concept
32:34
of, instead of being in this spiral of going out of control,
32:39
feeling overwhelmed going into exhaustion and burnt out when
32:44
they can just pull back because I think Anything, you are saying
32:49
and this is the thing and this is what I think you have got
32:55
that is just not out there enough at the moment for people
32:59
like us and that is that it's the Simplicity.
33:03
This is not rocket science, this is about if you are suffering
33:09
and you're going through some really exhaustion burnout kind
33:16
of see. Symptoms.
33:18
It's absolutely shocking. How it plays?
33:22
Havoc on every key area of your life, but the good news is, when
33:28
you can stand back and you can say, hang on a minute, this is
33:32
happening for me. What do I need to do?
33:35
And then engage in some of these skills, like, you've got a 10
33:41
week program and I love what you said to me about the 10-week
33:46
program. Because, you know, very well
33:49
that, you know, it's really keeping people accountable to,
33:54
you know, going through the change of their patterns and
33:58
their habits, because this is the thing that's missing, the
34:03
missing link. Is that people need this,
34:07
whether it is that they're fallen into bad habits, bad
34:12
addictions there in self-sabotage Is there just
34:18
overworked whatever it is to be able to have something like this
34:22
where you can really join forces with someone like Melissa who
34:28
happens to have these highly accredited skill, sets of Social
34:36
Work therapy and then to come into the online space and to be
34:43
able to offer even though I know it's not your word, it comes
34:46
from the book. Atomic habits, but really
34:50
implementing these habits. Can you talk me through your
34:54
program and what that's going to look like, and what that person
35:00
that's probably burnt out, tired and needs to have this simple
35:06
and yet profound Revelation in their life.
35:09
What can they expect? At the end of their program?
35:12
What is it going to mean for them?
35:14
Sure. So it's a 10 week program where
35:17
are we build space to build habits, right?
35:20
And there's accountability as a big part of it because I am a
35:23
firm believer that having that accountability and support
35:27
really propels these habits to be developed faster.
35:31
I also think that the people that could benefit this program
35:35
from this program, including how I was a year, two years ago are
35:40
giving all day long and with they need the accountability
35:45
right? They're not putting themselves
35:47
on the Top of their priority list, but this accountability is
35:49
going to help that. And so really, at the end of the
35:52
program, the goal is that you are going to have practiced
35:56
these habits, you're going to feel comfortable using them.
36:00
You're going to start to recognize, what messages are.
36:02
Your is your body giving you. And what tools can I pull from
36:07
to be able to give my body? What it needs in the moment?
36:10
Making you feel this sense of the program is called
36:14
equilibrium? Architect Academy because we are
36:16
building Being equilibrium inside of ourselves, right?
36:19
We're creating this skill set where we really do feel this
36:24
sense of internal centeredness that carries from our work to
36:29
our personal life till we go to bed and when we wake up in the
36:32
day, right? And so, that's the goal of the
36:35
program is that you build this toolbox, you understand the
36:38
science behind it and you fuel your body.
36:41
So you're showing up your most productive efficient balanced
36:45
self, Mmm, I love that. And this is it.
36:50
You'll really an advocate for, I mean, you've been an advocate
36:55
for doctors and nurses to really help resource them.
36:59
So to be able to offer something like this to, you know, people
37:05
like myself, you know, and people that are out there
37:09
working hard who really wants to be able to feel that equilibrium
37:15
and bring it home with them. Be at work with that energy be
37:18
at home with it. And, you know, I guess that's
37:22
just going to really release so many things.
37:26
The thing that's really popping up for me right now is I know,
37:30
especially in the online space. So many people are doing doing
37:36
doing doing doing doing. And I think they're trying so
37:40
hard on trying to be in this process and they're in this
37:46
strategy. She that they're really losing
37:50
the magic of their inner flow. And so, you know, coming into
37:55
this kind of a program. I'd really like to be able to be
37:59
a bit cheeky here, Melissa, and maybe pinch a few little gold
38:05
nuggets from you by asking. Can you give us, perhaps, three
38:09
exercises that you're prepared to share with our listeners on
38:14
the show, just to sort of Help us get through the day, what
38:18
would be the three gold nuggets? You would suggest.
38:22
I think the first thing that has been a game changer for me is
38:26
when you start to feel overwhelmed, just recognize it,
38:30
just take take 30 seconds, acknowledge it in a neutral
38:36
standpoint, right? Say okay, I'm feeling
38:39
overwhelmed. When you say that, even five
38:41
times, notice how your body is like, oh yeah, I'm overwhelmed.
38:46
That's okay. It almost just starts to break
38:50
that down a little bit and that is super helpful.
38:53
The other thing that I say is a golden nugget, that's helped me
38:58
find Community, right? Whether it be on social media,
39:02
whether it be in your own personal life, I think, finding
39:08
a community of people who can support you, and who you can
39:12
talk to about these things is so important because they're the
39:16
ones that are going Build you up, right?
39:18
And then the last thing, a simple thing that's really been
39:23
beneficial is is movement. It really is if you're feeling
39:26
stuck, move your body, just whether that be a stretch
39:30
walking yoga. If you want to do a high
39:34
intensity workout, there are so many different ways that you can
39:37
add movement, that doesn't have to take long and that's the
39:40
other key, right? If we start to recognize these
39:43
are simple sustainable habits that.
39:46
Don't take long, we're more likely to implement them because
39:49
our fear is. I don't want to take two hours
39:51
out of my day, to take care of myself.
39:54
I don't have two hours. It doesn't have to be two hours.
39:57
It has to be times five minutes and you're going to reset your
40:01
brain and you're going to come back in such a clearer space.
40:06
Well, I love that. So I asked CM guys, if you can
40:11
remember that. So when you are in this,
40:16
Situation where, you know, you want to be that highly,
40:20
confident, highly energized. And yet have the Harmony and the
40:26
centeredness and the presence to be on the top of your game.
40:32
Remember the RCM rule recognized become very, very, you know,
40:40
astute with recognizing. Oh, like Melissa said, I'm
40:45
overwhelmed. It's like what the Even the
40:47
Bible says you bring the truth out into the light and guess
40:51
what? You said it free.
40:52
So it's almost like you're setting yourself free by
40:55
recognizing it number two community that see, right?
41:01
Because when you're with like-minded people and
41:06
definitely, when you coming into this kind of a container with
41:10
Melissa, you are going to be with like-minded people because
41:14
these are the people that are not Looking for rocket science
41:19
or anything to woo, or anything over the top.
41:23
But they want to be able to have something simple easy and fun
41:29
that they can apply into their day.
41:32
And I know a lot of people like that, you know, especially when
41:36
you are looking at, you know, even CEOs people that are, you
41:40
know, when they're not see owing, their kind of social
41:43
lighting, you know, they want to be Be able to just do something
41:47
that's very quick. So these strategies recognize
41:52
community and then movement like just kind of getting up and
41:57
moving your body. It's not like you're having to
41:59
get up and run a marathon every day or go to the gym every
42:03
single day, you're committing to something that if you're able
42:08
bodied and you're able to move, you can do.
42:13
So I absolutely love this and you're Graham is starting.
42:18
I believe it's coming up, and I guess there's no point in giving
42:23
a timeline here because obviously, it's probably going
42:26
to be well and truly launched. So, 10 weeks of the science of
42:35
this incredible, you know, learning these Atomic habits and
42:40
really being able to get on top of your life.
42:45
If you had any luck, Last words that you would like to share
42:49
here. Melissa, what would they be?
42:53
I think reminding people to give yourself Grace to habits, don't
42:58
happen overnight. And I didn't build these
43:00
overnight, and I think understanding that is also very
43:04
powerful because don't give up too soon, right?
43:08
Understand that. This is a change over time.
43:10
You're changing the Pathways in your brain.
43:13
How like, how awesome is that? But just a reminder Reminder
43:17
keep going, right? It's going to take a little bit
43:20
of time, but the change is just going to be so beneficial for
43:24
you. That's amazing, that's just
43:28
incredible. I've just loved the Simplicity
43:32
of being able to know. I think that's a big sigh relief
43:35
that, you know, there's people out there that may be feeling so
43:41
at the end of their tether. So overwhelmed, and they may
43:44
think that, oh, my gosh, this is going to take what 6 months for
43:47
me to get in and see my counselor or psychologist and
43:52
they can simply start applying. Buying these simple skill sets
44:00
and coming into that community and just being able to realize
44:05
that you may be fighting a battle that's been going on for
44:09
Seven Generations or more as you've heard from Melissa's
44:13
story, right? And so by really being able to
44:18
take hold of it, what Melissa's done is she's been able to
44:22
really turn this into her Zone, a genius.
44:24
She's How to bring it together with all of the conscious
44:30
competency of what she's done in her past and you know, even as a
44:35
teenager because, you know, you mentioned you'd always loved
44:39
being there for people and that was obviously in your DNA.
44:44
And so I just want to thank you so much for just this
44:49
incredible, you know, this gold nuggets that you've been able to
44:52
give our audience and even You know, elements that they can
44:57
start applying straight away. Thank you, Terry.
45:00
It's really been a pleasure to work with you and be able to be
45:03
on this podcast and share because I know as you said,
45:06
there are people who are just looking for these answers and we
45:09
don't have to overcomplicate it. Boomed love it.
45:13
Okay. I'll see you soon.
45:15
Gorgeous thank you. Thank you for listening to our
45:21
show. And if you want to know how to
45:23
tap into your Zone, a genius, or if you have a gift that you want
45:28
to platform to the world, go to my website, Terry messenger.com
45:34
and where it says Elite Crown master.
45:37
Key click on book, a free Discovery session and we will
45:43
map out your road to success