Latest / Dear Chelsea / Falling for Another Guy with D’Arcy Carden

Transcript

Falling for Another Guy with D’Arcy Carden · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. In August, you can find me in Red Bank,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary that's Canada. And
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: York City, Philly and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Idaho and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Dallas Babies, I'll be there. And then in December I
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: and Mighty Tour.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Hi, Chelsea, are you in Croatia?
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: Hi?
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Hi, I don't know where I am. I'm getting bounced
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: around Europe like a party favorite. That's what I feel like.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Are you so you look freshley showered? Are you like
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: direct from the beach? Where have you been today? Because
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I know it's later for you.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I was just at the beach. I was in the water.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I actually took a water slide or I was on
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: a water slide. I don't think I took a water slide, yes,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: And then I just came I came home, and I
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: took a show show, and I'm getting ready for our
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: group dinner.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: That's like the best part of the day during a
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: education is like you're all warm and toasty from the sun.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: You're getting all cleaned up to go out. I love
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: that part of the day.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: And I'm reading the best book for our readers. I'm
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: reading The Calamity Club by Catherine Stockett, which is fucking
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: awesome and a page turner. So if people are looking
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: for a book and haven't read that, get that. You
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: will like it. It's a plus for everybody. What's it about?
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: She wrote The Help and so she is like from
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: the South, and it's about a girl who is in
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: an orphanage and her mother abandons her, and like the
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: saga of what happens, and then this other family, this
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: other woman kind of ends up crossing paths with the
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: girl and the orphanage while she's volunteering at the orphanage,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: and it blooms into this bigger, bigger saga.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of twists and turns, and it's really compelling.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I just I don't want to give anything away because
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I'm only like three quarters of the way through, so
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know what plot points to give away. But
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: it's a great read, so I highly recommend.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: I'm reading The Strangers by Bellbird, and on your recommendation,
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: I believe right. Oh yeah, we're about the It's like
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: the memoir that's popping off right now and the husband leaves.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Even though I haven't read that book, I listened to
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: her interview on Oprah, and I felt like I had
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: read the book just from that interview. So no, I
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: didn't read the book, but everyone's reading it.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, it's great. Highly recommend. Well, our guest today
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: was very fun.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, our guest today is an Emmy nominated actress, you know,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: from The Good Place, A League of their Own and
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: our newest project which is called Five Star Weekend. It's
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: out today on Hulu. Please welcome Darcy Carden. We have
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Darcy here today. Darcy Carden is our guest today. I
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: watched the first two episodes of your newest show, Oh yeah,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: which is called Five Star Weekend with I watched two
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: episodes last night, and then they only sent me Peacock
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: does this kind of shit.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: All that damnit Peacock.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Whenever I have a guest on, you know, I get
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: a special link and then I get to watch it,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: and then I'm like, I go to watch the third
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: episode and they only gave me two episodes, so I
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: have to watch like regular people when it comes out.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: What's the point of having a podcast if it's act
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: like a regular person?
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Two episodes is like worse than zero.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: No, but it's great. It's really good, and it made
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: me wonder. It made me think because so it's a
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Jennifer Garner is a widow in this show. I'm not
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: going to give anything away because I don't think I
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: have anything to give away. And all of you girls
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: come together. She brings five girlfriends or four girlfriend girlfriend
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: four girlfriends from every different phase of her.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Life childhood, her college best friend, or mom best friend,
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: and like her new best friend.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: She's kind of like a Martha Store influencer type. Right. Yeah, So,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: and you guys all kind of come together, and I
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: like this concept a lot. Ay, these are kind of
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: the shows of the moment. Yeah, you go to a
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: like a beautiful location for had you been to Nantucket
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: now before we shot this? Okay, so Nantucket is a
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: very very specific slices slice of Americana.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I am very curious, though, do people really call it
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: the tuck?
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: I don't think. I don't think so.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think that was the first time.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: This is just my character say it? Or do other
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: people say it? One other person?
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Two of you say it? Yeah, I like the way
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: my laundry smells. Well, I did your laundry, so you're welcome.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: I have no problem.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I can continue doing it. I do it about once
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: a month, thank you. Yeah.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: I think my character Brook, who's sort of like a
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: little like desperate and a little like uncool, she keeps
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: calling it.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: The Is that how you play that as like desperate
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: and uncool? That what you were thinking.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: I think she's just like she's trying so hard. She's
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: really trying, like she she wants to fit in. She
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: loves Jen Garner's characters named Hollis, and she just sort
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: of like worships her and wants to fit in and
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: cannot believe that she got the invite to this weekend.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so excited that even though and you have your
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: own personal story that I'm sure will be uncovered as
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: the series. I can't imagine what might happen there. But
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: on the subject of going on girls trips with strange
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: girls that you don't know, yo, let's discuss that. I
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: have a couple of friends that will not go on
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: all girls' trips. They're like, I won't do that, it's
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: too much drama every single time, and I'm like, I don't.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: As a I'm a I think at this point, a
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: semi mature woman who can pretty much. I like like
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: the unknown. I like dipping into a situation where I
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: don't know anyone for a short period of time, but
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I don't need to know anyone. I don't feel like
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I don't have any anxiety around that.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Cool.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: If someone annoys me, I just to avoid them, you know.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: And I would never be a person that would get
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: involved in like drama, the drama.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: I just wouldn't.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I would just I would removed myself from that situation.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: I'm totally with you. And yeah, I think I think
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: that trips like that can really stir up a lot
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: of anxiety for people. But yeah, I think it is
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: like I'm exactly the same as you, like, like I
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: wouldn't get involved in the drama. If it happens, I
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: can just sort of like, step, God, have I ever
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: gotten involved in the drama?
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I mean, of course, yeah, right. We're women, right, we're human, right,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: so at some point we were involved in the dra
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: at least.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: We like chose a side, or you like just kind
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: of don't like someone like they rub you the wrong way.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: That happens. That can happen. But yeah, when I think
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: of girls' trips, if anything, like, if there is someone
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: that's rubbing you the wrong way, you probably bond with
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: someone else over it, and it like strength exactly right.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But in present day, if you were invited on
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: a trip, if you're like, say one of somebody you
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: admire a lot, okay, but didn't spend a huge amount
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: of time with, and she's like, okay, five of us
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: are going away. You won't know any of the other
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: and you won't know any of the others. What would
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: be your reaction, I would.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, the fact that you said, like someone you admire
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: a lot, somebody that I like, somebody I love, somebody
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  Speaker 3: I want to spend more time.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Dion called you, She's like, hey, I have four girlfriends,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: and I loved your work in this and I thought
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: you'd be a great addition.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: Honestly, I would totally go for the story for the like,
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: it's not going to be even if I get there
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: and it's a weird three days or whatever, it don't
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: be not worth it.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Yea. So maybe that's too much of a right, right, But.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, So even if it's like even if it's like
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: somebody that's in your life that maybe you don't know
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: that well, but you're like, I like this person or
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: I want to get to know them better, which I
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: feel like I've been in that situation. I did go
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: on a girl's trip with like four best friends and
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: I was like the other one and it was great,
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: but it was I definitely was like, I, you know,
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: I was like a late invite. I was like, it's
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: kind of scary, yeah, and it was somebody else may
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: have cancer exactly totally and definitely yeah, I felt like
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: an outsider, but not in a way that was that
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: like ruined the trip. I was just sort of like
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: getting to know them.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have to get up to speed on
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: their personal stories and side jokes.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: And kind of figure out who I really close and yeah, yeah.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: I like that position too. I like the study of
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: kind of like sociology in those situations. And I like
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: pairing up, you know, like finding like if it's a
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: larger group, like I like finding your little clique me too,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: and like having Like I went on this trip to
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Antarctica and like five of us formed this like group.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: I love it, like a huge and it.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Was like one hundred and ninety people, but just five
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: of us were like, oh, you know, and that was
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: really fun.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I mean I haven't spoken to any of those people
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: well actually one yeah, yeah, that's all you mean, or
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: two too, actually, but but I love it. Right now
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: we're like, like what other text?
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: And I don't. I hope this doesn't sound like toxic
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: or whatever. But one thing I love about trips like
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: that is finding your person or your five people or
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: whatever where you can kind of like look at them
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: and be like yeah, like roll oh, this is a podcast,
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: so like roll your eyes at the person that's maybe
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: being annoying or whatever. I mean, you know, like that
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: not trauma bonding, but that thing where you're you have.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: You're commiserating together about the nonsense, loves coming out yeah,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I like that too. I like when you can look
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: at it. It's like when you're in church. Not that
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I've been to church recently, but when you're in you
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: can remember and the pastor says something absolutely ridiculous, and
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I'm okay, that's nothing to do with present day society.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: And you lock eyes with someone else and you're both like,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: what are we doing? I love that?
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: Like marry that, yes exactly, that's like bonding.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: But you're already married. Well, yell, that's not legally yet,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: although I'm sure polygamy will become legalized in this administration.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: So just hold on tight, hold onto your pants. You're married,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: but you don't have any children.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, so.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: Dog, dead dog, dog but dead no children, dead dog.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: You get another dog to replace.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: The dead dog. Well we were thinking too.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm in pursuit of my second dog right now,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: just because Doug has no social life. I mean he does,
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: but it's limited, right. He wants someone, and he wants
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: a lot of action, and he has a lot of energy,
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: and I like, you know, I can throw something about
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: three or forture and then yeah, and then I'm like,
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to the park with him. You know
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: what I mean, let's be realistic.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: So tiny p s A.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: If you do get two dogs, don't get lettermates because
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: this is actually huge in okay, right because everyone thinks, oh,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: their siblings. I was thinking out we did this and
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: apparent like they when they were little they had like
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: sibling rivalry, like littermate syndrome, and they would be these
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: tiny cute puppies and then like trying to rip each
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: other's throats out. But now they're fine and they love
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: each other. But we called multiple trainers and they were like, oh,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: you could just get rid of one of them. There's
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: not really anything you can Oh my god. And Bernice,
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: they were they bonded pair, a bonded pair already.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they were together. So I got them they were
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: because I went to get one and they were like,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: well we have a brother sister combo pladder.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: That's kind Yeah, we're like looking for we're already bonded.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: But even if they're older, Like we keep thinking, if
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: we want to, and how often do you see like
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: a bonded pair, Please don't split them up? But so
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: often people are just looking for one. So we figure
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: if we want to, we might as well, wait for
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: a bonded pair, but maybe not mates. Avoid avoid litter mates.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: But if they already are bonded.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Them well, Also, somebody told me not to get two
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: males since Doug is such an off a male. Don't
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: get another male, get a female. So, Darcy, you don't
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: have any children. But I read that you ate your
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: pieces hair. What is this about?
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: That's so funny. I'm gonna cry my niece, whom I
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: love so much. My like, I have some really great
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: nieces and nephews.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: How many do you have?
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: I have on my side my side, I have two
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: for six and on my husband's side, I have two four, six, eight.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Wow, and they're great. So you have fourteen nieces and nephews. Yes, wow,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: that trumps me. I only have eight. Well that's a lot,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: but it is a lot. Yeah, but I'm not married
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: because great, you would have more. That's my main reason. Yeah.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: So my little niece. Okay, but let me just think
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: of what this was. I love her so much, I
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: need her, I love her. I'm like I want to
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: eat her or was she now? But this was like
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: this was like it is the best age. I'm going
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: to see her this weekend. But okay, so like little
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: tiny baby infant, and she she kept getting this one
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: little knot in the back of her head like this
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: one little these hairs that would just like not up
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: and you couldn't rush through them. And so my sister
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: and her husband this was her first haircut. It was
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: just like not even a haircut. It was truly like
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: like that bing and so they cut it off and
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: then I think truly just to like there's something about
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: wanting to eat her, and then there's also something about
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: wanting to make my sister laugh. I just put it
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: in my so you just okay, I got it. But
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: I mean that's kind of gross.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Well I mean, how gross can a four year old's
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: hair be?
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: No, and this was like her face, So then it's
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: like it's pure she's like six months old or that's
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: your hair. And I'm sure, like we do weirder things
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: to like, you know, we what are we putting in
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: our skin? You know what I mean?
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Oh? No, our hair is dirty even but at least
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: kids are protected like their skin and their hair, their breath,
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: everything is fine for a couple of years, you know,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: so too, and that's nice.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: I agree, Yes, like you could eat like if a
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: doctor was like, just drink the baby's pea, I'd be like, okay, yeah, no,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: there's nothing.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: There's nothing exactly, there's nothing strong enough in there that
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna get I'm gonna get sick or like that
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: is going to be too strong of a flavor or taste.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: I'm sure that. No, I don't even want to go
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: down this road, but I'm sure there's like health benefits.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think we need to be talking about
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: drinking children.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: You brought that up, brought that up, and you can
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: cut that out. Well, I think we're going to leave it. Yeah, yeah,
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: so I want to so with fourteen nieces and nephews fourteen,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: right or eight and eight to sixteen, but eight and
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: six fourteen, Okay, great, So that's that's like a lot
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: of responsibility, like I feel, or I did initially, I
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: would say, this feeling is starting to wane.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: I felt like very serious about becoming like about being
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: an A plus v ant, like I'm the one I
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: will take care of you forever you come to me
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: with any real problems. That feeling has faded.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: For me because of like just they're getting older or
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: just so many of them.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: I guess. So yeah, I guess because they're getting older,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: not because of the volume of not because of the number,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: just because they're getting older. And then they develop their
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: own opinions about things. I start to lose interest one
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: they have like their own like if they're if they
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: if they say like I guess, display idiocy. You know
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: what I mean?
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're like, you're done.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, whoa, I didn't spend all this time
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: with you. You didn't have access to our family and
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: are all of our democratic values, which is usually my
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: big issue to to end up like this, right, like
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: what are you doing?
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: I didn't raise you like this?
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I didn't spend money to make sure that
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: you're to have this be the end of your totally totally.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: Where is is most of your family in California?
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: No?
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: No, they're in New Jersey. Where did you grow up
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: in the Bay Area?
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, that's where one of my sisters lives. I
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: love the Bay Area too. That's like one of my
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: favorite places to not only perform.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I bet they love you.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. San Francisco is a great city for comedy because
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: I used to start there. Like when I have a
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: great city for comedy like Cobs, Cobs the punchline, and
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: then Cobbs got they redid it and it was really
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: even better than the first Cobs. But San Francisco is
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: a great city just for a bevy of reasons. And
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: I think that's a great place to live.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we grew up, you know, outside of San Francisco,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: but but that's that was our city.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Where outside of San Francisco.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: I grew up in a town called Danville, which is
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: like next to Walnut Creek, which is next to Berkeley,
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: if that rings any bells, And almost all of my
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: family is still there. And I'm I'm a I'm one
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: of four, you're one of six, six, you're one of four.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: Four Look at us, look at us, and none of
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: us are procreating.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Look at us, look at us, three of us coming
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: from huge families, and we're like not.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: So okay. So this weekend I'm going to a cousin's
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: wedding in Portland and Oregon, Oregon, and staying in a
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: big house with mom, dad, sister, her kid's husband, my husband, aunt, uncle,
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: two cousins, and down the street from my sister who
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: has two kids. It's gonna be like a very family fan.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: That sounds like fun. Though, it will be fun, but
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: you know why because it's a weekend. Yeah, it's not
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: a week right, That week's the case. Yeah, two forty
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: eight hours, seventy two hours and that's it and then
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: get fun.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not. It doesn't even sound overwhelming to me,
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: Like I think a lot of people would be like, oh,
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: you're gonna need some alone time. I'm like, I want more.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: And are you the fancy person in your family because
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: of your because you're on TV and you're an actress
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: and if I am, do they treat you that way?
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: No? No, no, yeah, I don't know what. Maybe because
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: it came to me later. I don't know, maybe because
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: they're all kind of like, whoa, you're on TV. Like
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: it's not like I've been on TV since I was
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: like a young, hot twenty year old.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Well when you came, when it came to you later,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I mean you're all over though, Like you're on all
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: sorts of different shows. You've been on the good place
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: for so many years, Like.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: You're on as many things as Nicole Kidman right now.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Imagine you are too, Nicole Kidman. Because there's no way
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: that Nicole Kidman can do every way.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: Do you do the math on how long things take?
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Possibly? I mean that would actually answer a lot of questions.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: Really, I could see that. Yeah.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: First I want to talk about so Sunday nights right,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: That's where I thought that was related to always Sunny
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: in Philadelphia.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: For I know, I know if you like take Ship
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: right totally, that's like a spin off and you got
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: to shoot that in Australia and you want to go
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: back to Australia.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I want to shoot a season two.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: I love Australia.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: I do too.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: We shot in Sydney, we lived on the beach. We
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: just like it was a really good life. I know,
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: it's a beautiful lifestyle, really is, and you can kind
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: of see yourself just staying there. Yeah, and I've shot
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: I've shot a lot of things in a lot of
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: different places that I've loved, but I've never wanted to
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: I always am sort of like ready to go back home.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: And with Australia, I was like Tuesday.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: I know, and I've looked into it. It's quite expensive,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: but I don't think it's more expensive than LA and
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: you're rich. It's just yeah, but if you go there,
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: then like you know, coming back and forth is a
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: big is a big issue right right right, because that's
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: not an easy time skip. That's the worst jet like
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I've ever had is going. Usually I can go to
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Europe and I'm fine, like I can adjust. But Australia,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: you like it two days You're like.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: Fuck, it almost seems impossible, Like it almost seems like
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: like getting to Australia seems like well that's I can't
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: get there, like there's nowhere. And the friend of mine
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: who was the showrunner of that show, Trent O'Donnell, he
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: shoots a lot of things in Australia and a lot
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: of things in America, so he is like he's got
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: that trip down. He will come to LA for like
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: forty eight hours. Doesn't that seem nuts?
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah? That does, yeah, because it takes like fifteen hours.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I know, right from here to la or to Australia's
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: in a fifteen hour flight.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: But it was it was just great. I loved living there.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: I loved we like went in the ocean lite I
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: sort of I sort of became a beach person and
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: then came back here and like went to Santa Monica
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: and I was like, like, we don't.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Go in the it's just yeah, I know it's there,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: but nobody's really in it, right, So tell me what
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: you thought of going to nets. So this show that
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: we're talking about, how long did you spend in Nantucket?
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: We were there for like a month.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: And were you guys all in some house together we
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: were in.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: I feel like you probably know Nantucket pretty well.
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I know Martha's Vineyards well because I grew up on
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Martha's vineyards. But I've only been to Nantucket I think
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: three or four times.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: There's like a place called the White Elephant.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's kind of all over the place
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: where it's like, you know, apartments and little homes and that's.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: So fun though it would go isn't that so fun?
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: It's so fun go with a bunch of cast members.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: It is a little bit like White Lotus.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's like we had spent the summer in
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: La shooting and we were doing it was like not
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: a hard shoot, but we were doing six day weeks,
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: which I had never done before, and we were just
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: like it was like work work, and then we got
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: this little vacation at the end, which still was work,
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: like we kind of kept. We would be on set
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: in Nantucket like looking around and we're being wait, I
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: thought this was any vasion, but it was a vacation.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: It was like when you're on location, you know this,
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: Like when you're on location, it's so different than shooting
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: in your home. When you're shooting in your home, you
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: go home afterwards and you like go to the doctor's
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: appointment and you have to go grocery shopping or whatever.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: But when you're on vac when you're on location, you
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: really are like, well, what are we going to do tonight?
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: When you wrap, You're like, let's go to dinner, Let's
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: get a drink, let's see.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: And that's so fun. There's like really sleep away camp.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: It's so sleepway camp. And with these women too. With
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: so it's it's Jen Garner, Chloe Seventy, Regina Hall, Gemma
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: Chan and then like Judy Greer and Timothy Olephant and
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: like just an amazing cast. These are also like really professional,
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: accomplished people that are you know, every They're like they've
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: got families and we're not like partying in la or whatever.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: And so it was so fun to go to Nantucket
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: with them and like, really, you know, really really live
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: it out.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was great.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: It was great.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Timothy Olephant. I want uh someone When Timothy's Shalame was
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: becoming fan, this was years and years ago, someone had
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: reached out and said, can you get a birthday message
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: from Timothy Schallomey? And I thought they meant Timothy Oliphant.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: So I forwarded the message from my friend to my
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: agent and I said, is there anywhere you can get
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: a birthday message to this girl from? I just forwarded
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: the email, so I assumed it was Timothy Oliphant because
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: that was the only Timothy I knew, and I had
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: just seen him, and I was like, he'll do it.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: He's a totally nice guy. And then I got a
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: video back of Timothy Shallomey and I was like.
• 21:30
  Speaker 5: Who's this?
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Who the hell is like, who's this little pip squeak?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: And this is when he was like, you know, even
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: littler and he and but he was so sweet. He
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: had sent this whole birthday message. And when I sent
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: it back to my friend, she was like, oh my god,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you got that. And I'm like, who
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: is this? And she's like it was right before called
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: me by your name. I was his first big movie anyway,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: But I was like, I saw Timothy after that and
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I went to go thank him and I was like, oh,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: I want to thank you for that birthday and I'm like, actually, no, yeah,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: that's the story of my life.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: Getting celebrities can confused and the access you have to
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: them is so funny.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Y yeah, I know, because it's like, you know, I
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: meet celebrities all the time. I think I'm meeting for
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: the first time, and then they'll be like, oh, no,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: we met you interviewed me, And I'm like, well, that's impossible.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: You remember, I think that must be insane to have
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: to have interviewed everyone. You've met everyone. But also it's
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: like a blur on a different level. Yeaheah, it's a blur.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and especially Yeah, So anyway back to you, Yeah,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: so is this a kind of trip that you would take,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: like with in real life? Would you go on a
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: trip with five girlfriends let's.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: See, Yeah, I would. I mean, you know what, because
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: I'm really close with my two sisters and we take
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: trips together. If someone handed me a trip, I'd be like,
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: I'd probably say to my sisters, let's go. But you know,
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: there was there was a while where let's see, this
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: is pre COVID, there was like every in between, let's say,
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: like every New Year's week, a big group of friends
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: would go on these kind of like extravagant vacations together.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: It was six couples. Holy shit, wow, six couples. Somehow
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: we made this work. No one had kids yet. It's
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: all people that like we came up together at UCB
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: in New York and then everyone is sort of like
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: working in TV and starting to get like a little
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: bit of money. So we were like, let's nobody has kids.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: Let's like blow it out and go on these amazing
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: vacations because someone will start having kids next year and
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: we want to we won't be able to do it again.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: And people just kept not having kids. So we did
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: it for like five years, and we went to like
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Bora Bora and Paris and Hawaii and Costa Rica and
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: we did these like really fun vacations and those were
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: like some of my favorite life memories.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Bora Bora was one of the if it was one
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: of the top five trips of my life. It's it's
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: not real. It's the whole time. I was like is
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: this man made felt the same way.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: I was like, am I at Disney like a offshoot
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: of Disneyland? Like it's so it looks like it's created
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: by imagineers, and I do want to go back, like
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: like I haven't had enough.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I That's what I said. I was like, I was like,
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna rent this place out for my fiftieth and
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: then I didn't. So I have to figure out a
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: time where I can do that, because I remember crying
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: the day I left Bora Bora because it's so beautiful
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: and the volcanic rock, like the way the water is,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: you can actually see it change color if it's like
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: bifurcated by volcanic rock, so it goes from like dark
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: blue to medium blue to light blue to lavender to
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: dark purple, and you can just see the ridges. Like
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: you go over and you're like it's a completely different
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: color of water. It's so gorgeous, kind of.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: Like never seen anything like it. It feels like you
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: are in just sort of a state of joy. Yeah,
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: it's just like your eyes feel good and it really
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: it's it's it's not even like there's that much to
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: do there. It's just there isn't it just feels so good.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: It's just beautiful. It really is a slice of heaven,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: and it takes you a long time to get there.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: So once you get there, you can park it.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, park it.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, said you could do it for fifty two fifty three.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: You know, it doesn't have to be a special number.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: That's true, that's true.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, to throw everybody off. What do you think, like,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: since you have two sisters that you sound like you're
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: pretty close with, who is one of them? Like if
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: I if you, if I asked you who was the
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: biggest influence in your life, would it be one of
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: your sisters?
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: Mmmm? Biggest influence in my life? Like my immediate answer
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: is my dad?
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Oh great?
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I feel like as a kid, I really like
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: looked up to him in a way where I was like,
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: I want to be like him.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: You know what was it about him that you admired?
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: He was like, I mean is he like what? Growing
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: up with him? I felt like, I mean so smart, fun,
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: like I think vivacious is maybe a word that describes women,
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: but very like full of life and friendly, like every
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: you know, friends made friends wherever he went. I would say,
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: like everybody described him the same, which is like I
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: love him, like, oh, Dennis is your dad? I love Dennis.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: Or he owned a music magazine, so he had all
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: these like cool employees that would always say like he
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: was the best boss. I don't know, there's just like
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: I feel like very positive about him, and he just
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: sort of like went for what he wanted and I
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: just admired him. He also gave me and my siblings
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: so much confidence.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: How okay, yeah.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: I really in my mom too. They really okay, So
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: three daughters and a son, they really made us feel
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: like we could do whatever the goddamn hell we wanted
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: to in the entire universe. Like I really grew up
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: thinking that maybe I would be like a major league
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: baseball player because my dad was just like, you can
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: do that, right, And he would say this thing, Meanwhile,
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: you can't. Meanwhile, don't forget. They won't let you not
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: ye yeah barely. I mean it's truly so far away.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: But he would say this thing to me and my
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: siblings before like a sports game or before a play
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: or something. A sports game. Okay, I would say that, yeah,
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean, where he would he kind
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: of like rubbed my shoulders and you go. You are
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: the best. You are the king of the world. There's
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: nobody better than you, and you'd like say it over
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: and over like a mantra or like, you know, it
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: did something to me. It really I really.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Took it on well, because I think we take on
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: not I think it's pretty obvious that whatever like the
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: most hurtful things your parents have ever said to you
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: and the most loving things are the things that stick
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: with you. The mont is so true when they're constantly
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: instilling support and love in you, like the reason why
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: it adds up. It's kind of like the marble jar
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: like right you they keep telling you and like you,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: little by little you believe it, and like what what
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: does a little child need more than that to believe
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: in themselves?
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Totally, Like when I think of sort of like the
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: best compliment or something I've ever received sieved in my life,
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: it would just be my parents saying like we're proud
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: of you, right, you know, and they're not even they're
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: not stingy with it, but like, you know, it really
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: means something.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I remember looking at my father thinking I he
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: motivated me in the exact opposite way, Like I was like,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I will not be anything like you, even though I
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: am a lot like him in my drive and kind
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: of personality. I'm out there and I'm outspoken and all
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: of those things, his whole like kind of moral compass
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: was off, and I didn't like that. I was like, oh,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be a cheater or a liar or
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: that's why I'm so passionate about being direct and being
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: honest even when the situation doesn't golf for it, because
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: I just want to make sure that.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: I'm on the level side.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Like I'm like, I'm not a liar, You'll never catch
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: me in a way, like if there's something bad I've done,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I'll come forward with it, well, thank you. But it
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: was more of like watching him as a deterrent yah
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: and me being like, oh, I'm going to be you know,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: different than that.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: That's so interesting that we almost did like the same thing,
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: but the opposite. I'm like, I want to be what
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: I will make of my life, and the person that
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: I will be is like directly related to my dad,
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: and you're like me too, but the opposite.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: But it's still true that regardless of those differentiations, you
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: really all you want as a child is for your
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: parents to be proud of you, especially when you're a
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: girl your dad, and I guess probably if you're a
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: boy too, but there's something about your father saying I'm
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: proud of you, and you know that we're all striving
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: for no matter how old you get.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: Totally, and he was also like he would he would
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: dabble in acting. He would do like the like community theater,
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: play here and there. He was on stage a lot.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: He was like a he was like a showman, and
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: it really made it feel possible for me too. I
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: was like, I want to do that. That's what I
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: want to do.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: You're also in Loot, which is on Apple with Maya Rudolph,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: who's one hundred, one hundred and as one hundred. I mean,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: that's just one of your shows. And your Handmaid's Tale also,
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: which is wild. It's just wild to be able to
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: toggle and also very admirable to be able to toggle
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: back and forth between comedy and drama in that way.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much. That like important to me. You know,
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: I love doing comedy and I really like found myself
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: in comedy. But my I mean not to say like
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: my education, but but my foundation is in like all
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: you know, Shakespeare and like the straight plays and the
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: classics and stuff like that, and then sort of realized
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: that I kept getting cast as like the funny girl
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: in those things, and then really like dove into comedy
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: in New York. But I love doing all of it.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: Had I had like a friend an early okay, in
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: New York, when I was like a struggling actor. I
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: had an older woman friend who actually the story is
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: too weird, but who actually like used to be my
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: high school teacher. And then we ran into each other
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: in New York and she was like divorced and young
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: and was like, let's hang out. Yeah that it was weird.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: It was I like it, I know, and then we
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: like really hung out a lot. But because she was
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: because she had been my teacher, she was always like
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: giving me advice and she was like, you need to
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: pick a lane. She was like, you are all over
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: the place, like you need to be the comedy girl.
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: You need to be this, or you need to be that.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: And I remember being like, I know this is good advice,
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: but like I really don't want to do that. I
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: really don't want to I want to, like I'm so
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: afraid of picking a line. I'm so afraid of like
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: being pigeonholed. I guess as one thing. Yeah, so so
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: I didn't do that. You know, so you didn't take
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: her I didn't take her advice.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Are you still friends with that woman?
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: No? She actually was kind of toxic.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: I was gonna say it. It had the makings of
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: a toxic relationship. But I like when somebody gives you
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: unadulterated advice about something they know nothing exactly based on
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: what are you giving me?
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: A total When you're younger, when an older person is
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: giving you advice, you always think it's like impactful, and
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: then when you are older than that person giving you
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: the advice.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: You're exactly you are. Yeah, so what's it like to
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: be on the set on the Handmaids tend Maids till.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: You know what's funny that you asked that is that
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: I also wondered that, like in the years of watching it,
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: the years of watching I.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Blame that show for the situation where you're giving all
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: of these Republicans these ideas. I know that these ideas
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: have been Jerman quite some time. Yeah, and it's not
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: a new thing, but I feel like that show showed
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: us what the absolute worst outcome could be and then
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: they're like, let's try.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: It right, like, oh it worked, yeah, yeah for the
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: moon God. When I was on the Good Place, I
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: remember watching Handmaids.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Which is the exact opposite vibe of.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: And that was kind of my thought was like, every
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: day on the good Place is a good day. I'm
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: like so happy. I'm surrounded by the most wonderful people.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: I get to do the most fun, lovely scenes. And
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: then I was like watching the show which I loved,
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: The Handmaid's Tale, but I was thinking, like, that's not
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: a good day on set. That is like a bad
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: day at work. And I ran into Bradley Whitford on
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: an airplane. I love brad love him the best.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: He's the cute. Yeah, I love him.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: He truly is so west Wing.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: He's so hot in west Wing and west Wing. Oh
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: wes Wing. I mean that is a show worth watching
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: every Yeah.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: And I do every night as my husband falls asleep.
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: Oh you do.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: It's like his full comfort show. But yes, so I
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: were you like looking up lest Wie, Yes, a little bit. Okay,
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: that wasn't when I watched that wasn't one.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the Wire. I didn't watch that until
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: somebody made me watch it and then I tried like
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: three times. It was like breaking bad. There are like
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: three shows that I've taken it, like it's taken me
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: three fall starts to get into and then once I
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: got in, I watched them all within like once week,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: and you understand. And then I was like, oh my god,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I'm attracted to Brian Cranston. I can't stop thinking about it.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I do. But so he had just
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: done his first season on Handmaids, and so I got
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: to ask him basically like what is that set, like
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: it seems so like dark, and he he was like,
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: it's actually the opposite. We're like dancing, we're joking. It's
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: like there there's like it's very light, which I was
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: almost like, yeah, right, like you're lying, and it is that.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: It's really they keep it light. They keep it there's
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: like I think intentional, you know what I mean, Well,
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: I think.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, the subject matter is too dark, is too dark.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: And the I mean I came on it in the
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: last three episodes of the last season, so they it
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: was like a well oiled machine. But they really are
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: these like some some of the most amazing actors I've
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: ever worked with that can really just like.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Well, Lizzie is ridiculous. She does scenes by her, she's
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: basically acting alone and half of the show like she
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: does scenes where there's not another person in them and
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: the other person is like five minutes the camera that's right, yes,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: And her face, facial expressions and the look of fear,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Like what that woman can accomplish in just like I mean,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: it's she should be teaching acting. I'm aking she's like
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: she is on another level. She is, she can the
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: way she can like pop in and out of it
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: is I've never seen it in my life. We're talking
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: about Elizabeth Moss. Yeah, yeah, she.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: There was like I remembering a scene where she's like
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: walking out to this isn't a spoiler, well whatever, She's
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: like walking out to be hung, which doesn't end up happening.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: But she yes, I know what you're talking about.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: And and I'm like in with a noose around my
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: neck like watching her come out. It's so dark, so dark,
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: and the camera is an inch away from her face,
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: and she's also directing this episode and she's like tears
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: in her eyes. She's about to be murdered and she
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: can see in the reflection of the camera that her
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: little like I want to call it a habit, but whatever,
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: the like the like you know, their Heandmads and headcover.
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: Everything is like off and she like giggles and fixes
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: it and then just like drops back in, doesn't break stride,
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: doesn't like have to reset, doesn't need to start over,
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: knows what the edit will look like well enough to
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: be like they're not going to be I mean, she
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: just is like a machine.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty impressive.
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: Who's somebody that you've worked with besides Liz Moss, Lizzie
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Moss that you have learned so much from?
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: You know, like Ted Danson really pops into my hand. Yeah, yeah,
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: I mean Ted.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: He's a smooth operator.
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: Is a smooth operator. He's been doing it so long.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: He's so grateful, he's he is his I mean, he's
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: he's a couple of things. He's like a good time
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: on set, he's everybody's best friend. But he's also such
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: a fucking good actor. And it's almost like you almost
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: forget that because he's Ted dancing.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: Ye, it's true. As you were saying that, I'm like, yeah,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: I guess he is a good actor because it's always
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Ted Dance Totally.
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: He's so open and receptive and as a person as
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: an actor, he really just he's listening, he's reacting, he's like,
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: he's not he's just he's just kind of perfect. He's
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: kind of like your perfect scene partner, and he's the
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: type of guy. And also Henry Winkler's like this too,
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: where they really they've been doing this a long time
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: and they remind you, like how lucky we are.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: I'm surmising from what you're telling me and from knowing
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: both of them that they are good at making sure
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: you everyone else on set feels really afterble totally.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're both so good at that. Yeah, they they
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: don't take their position lightly. I think, do you take
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: acting pretty seriously in a way, like, not in a
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: method sort of way, yeah at all, but my god,
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: but in a like I really feel like it's my
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: life's purpose and so every time I get the opportunity,
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: I'm like, don't waste this, and I fucking love it.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: I think that's a great piece of advice for anybody
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: and anything and anything they like, don't waste this opportunity, right,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: because it's sometimes it's easy to just be like, fuck it,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: let me just get through something. Not necessarily with an
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: acting gig, but sort of. But perhaps if you have
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: a lot of other things going on in your life,
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: or if it's a weak job and you're like a
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: fuck it, let me just man this and I've got
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: other things to deal with whatever. But I think that's
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: good advice. Yeah, when any opportunity. I read something the
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: other day that hit me and I don't know maybe
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: I said this on the podcast, but like, it's not
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: about the outcome of your opportunities. It's about the shot
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: that you get. I agree, like you got the shot.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: It's a shot to shoot your shot right, and instead
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: of attaching yourself to what will result from the opportunity.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: And I loved that because it's just a reminder to
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: stay in the moment that you're in and don't get
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: ahead of yourself.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: I've been really feeling like that with with with like
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: career and acting stuff, which is that I think in
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: the beginning it was it was so outcome based. It
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: was like, yeah, you know like this, I don't know, like, well,
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: this industry is outcome back based. And then I started
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: realizing that like the days on set, the days like
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: doing the acting with the people was actually all I
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: gave a shit about. Like I have a hard time
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: like watching it afterwards, like I'm not really you know,
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: if this show is a hit or not, it's like interesting,
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: but it's not the thing, you know, and that Yeah,
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: I just I that has really really hit me lately,
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: and like Australia is a perfect example of that because
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: when we did it, it wasn't on Hulu yet. It
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: was it was going to just be in Australia and
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: on Stan Love You Stand, Love You Stan.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: But they have great shows. Yeah, I watch a lot
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: of crime shows from Yeah, great crime show. Yeah, because
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: they have real actors. Yeah, you know, not everybody's beautiful.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: And I appreciate that. I totally agree. God I love
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: those acts. They would be Yeah, but I was like,
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: if this doesn't it was I was enjoying it so
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: much that I was like, if this doesn't even go
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: to America, I kind of don't care, Like I wouldn't
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: have done it right right right, you know, America.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: Did you bring her the Land of the Free?
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: The place?
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: Did you bring your short king husband?
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: Yes, Australia, thank you. He came with me for like
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: half of it. So I was there for like four months.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: Is he an actor as well?
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: He's a producer. He runs Seth Meyer's production company. So
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: we're both sort of in like the same circle. Yeah,
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: we're certainly in the same circle.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you are in the same circle.
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: But he came out for like half of it, the
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: last half, and he would wake up at like four
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: in the morning and work and then go to the beach.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: It was like a really good life. He would he
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: would work like whatever America's schedule is, New York schedule
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: and then yeah, and then he would like the second
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: half of the day, he would just be like an
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: Australian dude.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: I wonder if Australia is ready and has the capacity
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: to absorb half of America. We're there, because how many
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: people do I just learned that La County is only
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: four or not La County, La propers only four million people.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: County is like eleven or I thought it would be
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: way more than four million.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, Australia has a lot of room, right, It's
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: just like you want to yeah, yeah, the momental.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: We want to put the snakes on one side of
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: the island. And because it is kind of surprising when
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: you go to Australia, because I've gone there touring several
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: times in my career, and you forget that it's basically
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: the same like distance as America. Like if you go
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: from Perth to Sydney, it's like a five hour flight, right,
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: And you're like, wait, what right? I thought this was
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: a little place.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: But there's a lot of spairs. But in that show
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: Sunday Nights will Forte Place, my brother and his family
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: was out there, his beautiful wife Olivia and his kids,
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: and we really have we talk about going back there
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: a lot, like like living there in a way that
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: I just haven't experienced.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Before, I know, And they're you know, they're just very
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: civilized the way that they've set up their lifestyle. Yeah,
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: there's bike paths in every major city in Australia. They
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: set up like when you're in the in the in
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: the harbor. The Sydney Harbor is one of the most
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: beautiful harbors because they have no shipping containers, right, And
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: I'm like, where did they put the shipping containers somewhere else?
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not anywhere we can see them. And I appreciate
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: it too.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: I know. I walked I like sort of discovered my
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: love of just walking like walking, yes, yes, yes, yep,
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: it's just like you just it's really it's made for
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: people to like enjoy it.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, we're going to take some callers where we
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: give it out advice. People are going to call in live.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: Let's begin this portion of this episode by you can tell.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: You can choose to tell me either one great piece
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: of advice that you've been given or a really bad
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: piece of advice that.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: You've been giving. Okay, it's funny. I mean, I guess
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: I told you the bad advice from my formal teacher.
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: I guess, Like it's not funny.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: I just love like do you want to hang out
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: with your former student? There's something wrong about that and
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure what it is.
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: And I also wanted to call her like miss whatever.
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: I know, just like stop like I got a hot
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: new husband. I'm not a teacher anymore. I'm an inspiring actress.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: It was really very funny. Okay, this is too much
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: about acting, but it just rings. And it's from Ted,
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: which was playing Janet on The Good Place, was sort
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: of like basically he was like, whatever you do next,
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: have it be the exact opposite from this and continue
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: to do that throughout your career. And that has really
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: like been my north star.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: That's great advice and it's.
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: Helped me with like doing things I'm scared of, doing
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: things that maybe I wouldn't want to say yes to
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: to really like follow your gut. I guess, yeah, So
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: that's really helped me. But that's you know, that's advice
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: for an actor. Yeah, or maybe we're not. Yeah, maybe
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: not it all it can.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: I think in any creative endeavor, it's good to shake
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: it up and watch people don't write.
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: Like in life, we get so stuck in our ways
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: that we're like, I mean, I'm you know, the older
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: we get. It's so easy to get stuck in your
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: in your patterns and to like do things that scare us.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: I think is how we like live a full life
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: and stay young. And you know, I feel like I
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: see that too much just people sort of.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: Like yeah, it's just also good to get the adrenaline pumping, right,
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Like if you're so accustomed to something or you've gotten
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: really good at one thing, it's like, okay, that's great.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: But also like the fear subsides, and I feel like
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: fear is a healthy ingredient before you're about to take
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: something on.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: And I'm a big like I talk to my friends
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: a lot about like fear that you have to be
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: a little scared of something. Yeah, if you are a
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: little scared, that's probably a reason to do it, you know.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, Yeah, why I have an actor question, So we'll
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: just go right on your here.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, while Ted is here in Spirited Dancing is always
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: in this.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Podcast, totally well, Cassidy says, Dear Chelsea. I've been an
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: actor my whole life, and I've spent the last eleven
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: years in LA working in commercials, TV and creating my
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: own projects when opportunities weren't there. Over the year, I've
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: learned how to make things happen for myself. I've now
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: produced multiple projects. I've done stand up at the Improv
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: in the Ice House, and even have a one woman
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: show I co wrote and am performing about choosing not
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: to have kids and what that means for your identity
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: and relationships, and we're putting that up soon.
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: But I'm hitting a wall.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: I came out here to be a series regular on
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: a TV show and have a work family, but the
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: industry has changed so much over the past few years,
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: despite everything I've built, I feel like I keep having
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: to start over. I've never been able to fully move
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: on from this path, even when it's been painful. But
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: I also don't know if I'm being resilient or if
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: I'm just stuck. Most of the advice we get is
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: just keep going. But what if you really are that
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: person that just keeps going? With how much the industry
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: has shifted, how do you evolve your path without feeling
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: like you're abandoning your original dream?
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: Thanks Cassidy, Hi Cassidy, Hi, Hi Cassidy.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: Hi, we have a bona fide actor with us today
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: on the right episode. Hi Darcy, Hi Darcy, why don't
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: you start? Okay if you don't mind, I don't guess
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: you are more of an act than anyone else.
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: In this room. You're not not on the comedian, you know,
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: like a little bit right? Not really. I really relate
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: to this, I really like understand and I feel you
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: so hard on this. I I know this struggle so well.
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: You're like, I also don't want to know what to do.
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: Well truly, I mean, for sure, the industry is changing
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: so much, and there is this feeling of like do
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: I need to sort of like why diden my view,
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: Like do I need to learn how to do other things?
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: Or you know you kind of we're in flux right
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: now so so much I really feel that, but also
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: just the feeling of like moving to a city and
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: with this goal and it's not quite happening, but it's
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: not not happening, but it's not exactly happening, like I think,
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: you know, I lived in New York for eleven years,
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: made five dollars as an actor, but also like was
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: very artistically fulfilled because I was doing what you're doing,
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: which is like putting shows up and and you know,
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: writing and doing improv and doing sketch and stuff like
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: that and auditioning for things. And then moved to La
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: and it was a similar thing where I was like
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: I had this feeling where it's like this thing that
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: I wanted seems like it's not going to happen, and
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: it's like do I face that reality? Am I happy?
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: What's bringing me joy? And I sort of like realized
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: that I was. I had to like shift my idea
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: of what I thought my life was going to be
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: a little bit, but realize that I was happy doing
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: the things that you're doing. I was happy doing the
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: things that you're doing, but do you know what I mean,
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: like putting up your shows, it's such a struggle.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: It's just it's such an unpredictable business, and especially the
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: time that we're living in, I think it's just so
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: important to have like a couple of ducks in a
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: row that are not just acting right and not just performing.
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: And it sounds like you do do you I've got
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: about three jobs.
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're for sure the jobs. And also but
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: like I mean, so many actors, like you're already in
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: a dog you're already so far ahead of it, because
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: so many actors come to LA or New York with
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: only the goal of like auditioning to get the job.
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: And it sounds like you are. You're doing your own
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: thing too, write, you're writing your own shows. You're like that,
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: That's that's the advice is like you you have to.
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: Self produce, self create all of that stuff. It sounds
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: like you're on top of it.
• 47:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And I'm really excited about the show. And I've
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: done other shows before, like I said, and have produced
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: my own thing, and this one truly does feel like
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: it's kind of my purpose on Earth amazing.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: It is a crazy thing to.
• 47:39
  Speaker 5: Say, yeah, because just it's what I've gone through with
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: unpacking that I don't want to have kids, but what
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: that means as an identity and what does that mean
• 47:49
  Speaker 5: for my future? Because I discovered that in my twenties,
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: So I was like.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: Whoa a lot time.
• 47:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and most people with their older are dealing with
• 47:58
  Speaker 5: their kids or their grandkids, and I was like, so
• 48:00
  Speaker 5: what am I going to be doing? So it is
• 48:02
  Speaker 5: fun in a way. And the energy shift that I
• 48:06
  Speaker 5: think you both were talking about, I'm getting so much
• 48:09
  Speaker 5: better at, especially over the last year, so that and
• 48:12
  Speaker 5: I can definitely see things coming toward me because of it.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm happy about that.
• 48:19
  Speaker 5: And I know it's a sort of nuanced question that
• 48:21
  Speaker 5: nobody really knows what to say besides like just keep going.
• 48:26
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I was wondering if there was like any
• 48:30
  Speaker 5: in between.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: Because I know you.
• 48:32
  Speaker 5: I'm sure you two in evening, including Catherine, know what
• 48:35
  Speaker 5: I mean. When you're like, okay, cool, like let's discover
• 48:38
  Speaker 5: this part of this medium, and then you kind of
• 48:41
  Speaker 5: feel like you're starting over and then you're like, okay,
• 48:43
  Speaker 5: we did that.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: That was fun.
• 48:46
  Speaker 5: I did it well, actually, but it doesn't feel like
• 48:50
  Speaker 5: something I want to do forever. And that's also what
• 48:54
  Speaker 5: I kind of came here to do. Like I went
• 48:56
  Speaker 5: to school for music, theater, I've done film and TV
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: out here. I like it all. But you know, when
• 49:02
  Speaker 5: you focus on too many things, your energy gets diffused.
• 49:06
  Speaker 5: But then you also don't want to focus only on
• 49:08
  Speaker 5: one thing exactly betting on that. So there's all this
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: sort of I think in the opposite end of the
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: spectrum advice.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's really discerning, like where you want
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: to put your energy and focus and writing that down,
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: you know, like what gives you the most feedback, payback,
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: enjoyment out of all of the things that you're doing,
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: and then narrow it down to like the three things
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: that A are providing you with income and the stability
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: to live and be safe, you know, and feed yourself obviously,
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: and then get to the second tier of things like
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: which ones do you enjoy, which ones give you life,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: which ones which which aspects of this industry because the
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: industry is always going to be shifting. Like I did
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: Howie Mandel's podcast a couple of weeks ago, and he
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: was saying, if you're doing comedy the same way you
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: were doing it fifteen years ago. You're missing the whole boat,
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: like everything has changed. And I was like, I'm pretty
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: sure I'm doing comedy the same way I was fifteen
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: years ago. He's like, no, Chelsea, you have a whole
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: social media platform that you didn't have fifteen ye And
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, you're right, and he's like, yeah,
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: you're on what are you on? I was like all
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: of them? Probably, you know, and you're doing a podcast
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: like you're adapting. So like that's something that I stood
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: out to me that he said is like you do
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: see the difference between people who adapt versus people who
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: resist totally, Like, yeah, and he's coming. It scares the
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: shit out of everyone, but you can't. You have to
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: deal with it, Like, we can't just be like I'm
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: not going to use it. That's not helpful either. And
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: live performance is also something that you know is not
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: going to be easily replaced. Right, people don't want to
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: go see a hologram performing, right, I'm sure some people do,
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: but most people don't.
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: I heard something interesting recently which was we were very
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: excited in the like seventies and eighties about a computer
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: being able to win at chess until it actually beat
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: a person, and then we didn't care anymore and we
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: just watched people play chess. I mean, if you're into
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: that sort of thing, right, right, right, So yeah, that's interesting.
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: I okay. One thing that like stuck out to me
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: is you said like you feel like this show is
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: your purpose on Earth. I think, like follow that feeling, right,
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: like like that is so attractive, and I think just
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: you know, it's it might not be tomorrow that the
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: like the thing happens from the show or whatever, but
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: you having that feeling of not the desperation of like
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: this is going to bring me something, but just more
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: like I love what I'm doing right now. That is
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: so attractive, totally right, and so then it's like, you know,
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: I think good things will come from that. So I
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: think in like loving what you're doing and following your passion.
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: I know this maybe sounds a little like duh, but
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: it's like that is you're doing it right and then
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: and then you know, yeah, you have to have this
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: job and that job that pays the bills, but that
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: can start changing tomorrow. I don't know, it's hard.
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: I think absolutely, I think that's true. I think everything
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: you're saying it's right. It's very hard to live an
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: artist's life. It's very unpredictable. So like that's what you
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: signed up for and this is just part of that.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: And so when you think about it that way, like
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: it just kind of comes with the territory. You get
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: to do what you love to do with also the
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: side of instability, right, so you just kind of have
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: to warm up to that idea and do everything that
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: you can to protect all of the things that are
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: going to keep you safe housed, clothes and fed.
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: I know you know this also, but like you get
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: the show tomorrow, you get the TV show, and it
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: lasts for one season and then you're like right back
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: and this, yeah, you're right back to the same feeling
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: that you had before. This business is so up and
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: down and I don't I mean, even even someone that's
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: been doing it as long as you, like you, I'm
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: sure you feel that, you know, like, yeah, like the
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: you're on top, you're on bottom, you're on it's just
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: it's it's not it's not for the faint of heart.
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: So whatever.
• 52:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I decided a while ago to stop.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: Putting energy into quitting.
• 52:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because I tried to quit so many times, and
• 52:47
  Speaker 5: I just kept coming back to it.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: That's something good and it's a part of the energy shift.
• 52:52
  Speaker 6: I think too. Though, there's like, you know, you want
• 52:56
  Speaker 6: to have goals, and you're supposed to have goals, and
• 52:58
  Speaker 6: of course I have because you want to know where
• 53:00
  Speaker 6: you're going. But then a lot of the things that
• 53:03
  Speaker 6: have been a part of I would have never been
• 53:05
  Speaker 6: able to put down, and they've been some of my
• 53:07
  Speaker 6: happiest days.
• 53:09
  Speaker 5: So there's that weird in.
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: Between, yeah, being open, like want to have a vague goal,
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: but you're supposed to have a specific goal.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not a real goal oriented person. I'm just more
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: of a like I kind of fly by the seat
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: of my pants a little bit, so I can understand
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: the goal aspect and why people do that. But I
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: also think just like, welcome the challenges, you know, like
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: you're talking about shifting your energy and part of that.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: There's a great podcast that I just listened to. Ezra
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: Client had pimas chowdron on She's not a monk? What
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: is it called when you're a female monk?
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: A monk?
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: Guess a monket It's like a smurfet but Anyway, it
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: was a lot about not resisting the reality of a situation, right,
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: and when we are challenged, like in whatever industry you're in,
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: you're talking about this specific entertainment industry, it's good to
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: just kind of look at it and like move towards
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: the challenge rather than move away from it, and and
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: like and then that that also becomes like an energy
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: vibe that you're giving out where you are attracting different
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: things and things are coming your way because you're not
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: resisting the fact that the situation is changing or becoming
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: challenging in a different way. You just kind of embrace it,
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: you know, like, and you could apply that to anything
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: in life, Like you just kind of embrace the difficulty
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: of the moment and move towards it.
• 54:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's interesting. I'll be thinking about that.
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: Well, Cassidy.
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: Will you send us a link to your show and
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: if it's up by the time this goes out, we'll
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: put a link in the bio.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: Love that.
• 54:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, for sure, Thank you all and everybody behind
• 54:37
  Speaker 5: the scenes.
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: Thanks Cassidy, thanks for calling in. Bye bye. Do you
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: have time for one more?
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, great, Okay, Well this is a pretty important one.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: It's a pretty big one. So we have Ashley calling in.
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: She's twenty six.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty six year old
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: straight woman freshly graduated from medical school.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: Later this summer.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: I'm about to move several states away from my family
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: to start my career. I'm currently engaged to the guy
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: I've been with since I was seventeen, and we've overall
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: been really happy. He supported me throughout school, and we're
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: supposed to get married next year. However, there's this guy
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: from my medical school class who've had a crush on
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: since the first day of school. In the last few months,
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: I finally ended up telling him how I felt, and
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: it turns out he felt the same way all along.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: When I'm around him, it's electric. I'm nervous, I'm shaky,
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: my heart races. I've never wanted somebody like I want him.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: When graduation came, we essentially said our goodbyes, and he
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: made sure I knew that while he's not rooting against
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: my future happiness with my boyfriend, if anything happens where
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: I end up single, give him a call, whether he's
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: in a relationship or not.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: It's a cow, it's a couple.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: Weeks since graduation, and I hate the thought of never
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: seeing him again. I can't stop thinking about him, and
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: I'm sadly thinking about ending my marriage before it starts.
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: I love my fiancee and he's a really good guy,
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: and he loves me so much, and we've been happy,
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: but there are some feelings in me now that weren't
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: there before. If he's still everything I want in a husband.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: I'm also feeling like, if I'm having these thoughts, I
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: have to break it off. But this is like the
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: scariest decision ever, and I don't know if I'll regret it.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: I just have a couple weeks to figure it all
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: out and tell my fiance if I decide to break
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: it off. What do you think I should do? Do
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: I give up what I know is good for something
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: that could or could not be great? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley,
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: you got stuff going on?
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Is your wedding date set?
• 56:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Next year?
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, Okay. I feel like you have an opportunity to
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: like look into this situation that you have going with
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: this guy. Like, I don't think you have to tell
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: your fiance everything right now. I think you can just
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: simply say I need a couple of weeks to myself
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: to really think about this decision that we're making. I
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: love you, I care about you, like, but I really
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: just need some time. I'm having all sorts of feelings
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: and I just want to take a break. I really
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: don't think you need to difulge what it is that
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: you're doing and at this juncture.
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: And what she's doing is fucking that guy.
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be my advice. I would start dating
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: this guy, have sex with him, and see if what
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: you're because listen, we've all had crushes and one of
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: the most intoxicating things about them is that you don't
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: know what would happen. And that's why we're so dazzled
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: by this, Like, you know, the idea of someone new
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: and the idea, and when you put pen to paper,
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: you might just go and find out, oh, you have
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: like no sexual chemistry or it doesn't feel good, and
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: then you'll be even more able to double down on
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: the relationship that you are in. But if you don't
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: explore this, you're gonna regret it for the rest of you.
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: You might regret it for the rest of your life.
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: That's what I'm thinking.
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: And I think like this is a tricky one because
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: I think this might be a little bit about hot
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: guy and a little bit about like it sounds like
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: high school boyfriend is lovely and wonderful and my parents
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: met in high school. But like, other than that, the
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: idea of meeting your soul mate at seventeen is tricky,
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: like you will grow and change so much. And I'm
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: not saying like he sounds wonderful, and I think he is.
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: Otherwise you probably would have gotten rid of him already.
• 58:13
  Speaker 4: But yeah, it would be easier if he wasn't I.
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: Know, I know, Listen, I actually really understand this situation,
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: like like on a deep, deep personal level from my
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: high school boyfriend, just like a lovely guy, just like
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: nothing wrong with him, but just not quite quite. And
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: I do think if I had married him, I think
• 58:33
  Speaker 3: I would be in a situation where I was like
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: thinking about the medical school guy.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: Is there any scenario where you can say to your fiance,
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: I need like a month to myself.
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: So I've been thinking about like how to approach it,
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: because we're supposed to move away together at the end
• 58:53
  Speaker 4: next month, so like five six weeks from now, and
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: I don't want to do that. I think I have
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: to move regardless, but I think I need to like
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: sit down and talk to and tell him that I
• 59:08
  Speaker 4: don't want him to move with me at least just yet.
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: Ashley, I think you might want to take a break
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: from this guy from boyfriend. Yeah, I think it might
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: be more than a month. I think you might need
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: to like really.
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're already thinking about that moving in with
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: him and then postponing that, I think that it would
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: be in your best interest. Listen, when women have feelings,
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: you need to pay attention to them because we've come
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: from generations of women who have been taught to ignore
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: what they feel. So in pursuing what you want, even
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: if it doesn't lead to anything exactly, you're listening to yourself.
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: And then you're like breaking the cycle of women that
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: came before you and for the women that come after you.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: Like you, really I think about those kinds of things
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: When I have a big decision, I just think about
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: how does this decision affect all women? Yeah, And like,
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: I know that sounds crazy, but it's really it's worthwhile
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: to think about how you're in you know, how you're
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: standing up for yourself. You would give this advice like
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: to a friend, right, you would say, go explore this
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: and see what's there, right, And even if it's nothing,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: you were true to yourself and you examined it and
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: you're like, okay, and maybe you're going to fall out
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: in love with this guy and maybe this is the
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: guy and maybe he's not. But either way, you should
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: follow your heart and follow your emotions because you're young
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: enough to do it. Right.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: My big question in this scenario is this guy who
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: feels very exciting. Sometimes those people are it's exciting because
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: they're chaotic, right, or they're messy, or.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: You're unavailable, and that's one of the room sins yea.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: And there's like a love bombing situation. So is that
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: what's going on at all? Or you don't feel that
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: at all.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 4: No, I don't think he's like just in it for
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 4: the chaos of it. I mean, like over the last
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 4: few weeks months, he was very much on the side
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 4: of like you need to like try not to cross.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: Any lines right right right, which is respectful, nice, and
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: if you were toxic, he would have been like yeaeah.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: And he was.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 4: Really keeping me like bron and that. And then when
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 4: it was time for like to say goobye and hand
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 4: to lead. He was like, you have to figure out
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 4: what you want to do, like for you and like
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 4: highly be out of this, like if you end up
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 4: sayingle I'll be there. But he was just like, you can't.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 4: You can't just swap us out, Like you gotta figure
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 4: out what you really want.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: When you think about your fiance, do you feel like
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: you're like in love with him for life or do
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: you feel like this is you feel safe with him?
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: Or what? What do you think? Is it just sort
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: of like this, you know, this is like the natural
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: progression of a relationship is like you date and then
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: you move in together, and then you get married.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 4: I felt very in love with him. I just feel
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 4: like like a part of that is ron yeah, but
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 4: I mean no, I was very happy and like very
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 4: excited to marry him.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: But I just feel like now.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 4: I've been thinking things differently, and with all these changes,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 4: I feel different.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: I also think if you take the space and you decide,
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: like I actually do like this person.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: I'm with now is the person I want to be
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: with long term.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: I also don't think that you guys need to talk
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: about anything that happened in the interim.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: I think that's like, I just think you need yourself, yeah,
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: like more than anything else. I agree how you want
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: to handle like the intricacies of it. You need to
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: listen to yourself as a woman.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you kind of know already.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 4: I just I don't know how to do it, you
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 4: know what I mean.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: I think you just have to sit down with him
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: and be as gracious and as possible, knowing this person's
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: in love with you, sit down with him and be
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: like listen. And I would be lying if I didn't
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: say that I had some misgivings and I'm getting really
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: nervous about being married and I really need to like
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: slow it down. Yeah, I need some time, I think
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: for myself. I owe it to myself, and I want
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: to honor these feelings that I'm having that this I
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: don't think this has anything to do with you. This
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: is me, and I'm starting to feel panicked about the wedding.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: I'm just I just want some time to really like
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: clarify or gain some clarity about how I'm feeling. And
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: any real guy, like, of course he's gonna not love that,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: but if he really loves you, he's gonna respect that.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: And you just have to be very respectful of him
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: when you're telling him. I mean, obviously you're not going
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: to tell him that I'm interested in fucking this other
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: guy from college, but you can just be like, listen,
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: I have some things, I have some unanswered questions. I
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: don't know what that means. Maybe you're going to talk
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: to a therapist for a month. Maybe you're gonna just
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: like explore life what it's like without him in it
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: for a month, but putting it in a way that
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: there's nothing he can do, you know, and not leaving
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: him hanging, being like, listen, just give me some time
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: and I will come back to you with.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: A more more realized Yeah.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: But right now, just like, I don't like the way
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling, and I would never want to enter into
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: a partnership or a living situation feeling this way. Right
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: so I have to clear my thoughts and I need
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: to do that without you.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: And you do you need it for you? It's not selfish,
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: like depending on his response to this, also can kind
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 3: of inform you about how you guys are as a couple. Yes,
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: and it's it's not like selfish. You have to do
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: it for you and he should also understand that you
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: will never sort of forgive yourself or or stop thinking
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: about this. And I don't even mean the guy. I
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: mean you being alone for a little while here. Yeah,
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 3: so that's huge. Like if he if he doesn't understand
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: that, that says a lot about y know, absolutely him and
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: you guys as a couple. All right, Ashley, will you
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: check in with us, give us the scoop? Yeah, I'll
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: email you all right, good luck.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thanks for calling, Ashley. Good luck
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: with everything.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: Thank you. Okay you too, wait until you're thirty to
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: get married.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: We like your shoulders.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, shack on.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, Well that was awesome, Darcy. That was our hour
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: with Darcycard and you gave great advice.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: Compassionate you guys.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: You can watch her on Five Star Weekend among all
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: the other places you can see or you can see
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: her in a league of their own. Nobody wants this
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: Loote Sunday Nights with Will Forte and The Good Place
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: and Handmaidsdale. But her newest project is Five Star Weekend
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: and all episodes are out today on Hulu. Baby, Hey, yay,
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: we did it.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: Woo wootoot.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: If you want advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: podcast at gmail dot com.
• 1:05:34
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• 1:05:37
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• 1:05:40
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• 1:05:43
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• 1:05:48
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• 1:05:51
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