Latest / Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano / Vibing High + Rising Strong

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Vibing High + Rising Strong · Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano

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This is Your Pain Game podcast where we talk about the game of living in
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and with chronic pain and trauma, getting to the heart of how to heal.
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I am your host, Lindsay Soprano. On the show, I plan
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on discussing with doctors, chronic pain patients, holistic practitioners, loved ones,
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and anybody that is interested in having their voice heard in the chronic pain and
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trauma world that we live in. Oh my gosh, this is gonna be
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a doozy today, guys. We are talking about vulnerability today, and amongst
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many other things. Vulnerability to me used to feel kind of like a liability,
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and it felt like being on the cover of a tabloid magazine, especially
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with my wild shenanigans. You know, I probably would have been if I
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would have been famous, I would have been the one on the cover,
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like wearing a seat outfit, like walking out of a stranger's building with one
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shoe in my hand and maybe panties in my purse. Right fairly exposed.
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And when we talk about things that are chronic in our lives, whether it
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be pain, whether it be addiction, whether it be divorced, whether it
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be death, whatever it is, that being exposed and being vulnerable is really
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hard to do. And when starting the show, as I've talked about,
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vulnerability is the only thing that has to be at the center of what I
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do here, because if I'm not vulnerable and honest and open, then what
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the hell am I doing here? Right? But that's also why it makes
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change hard, because you're worried about being vulnerable and taking those risks and making
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those jumps and making those shifts, even if they're small, little baby shifts,
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which I think are the most important ones because they lead to big,
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huge changes. But you know, change is hard. And when we wear
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all these different skins and we're these different people for all these different people that
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are in our lives around us, I feel that I have had a life
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of being somebody for everybody else but me, and that's been something that's been
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a challenge and something that I have not cowered into any longer because now it
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is time to make more lifestyle changes. I've made tons of them. There's
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more along the way, and I know as we get older, they're harder
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because we're said in our ways, and we definitely are set in our ways.
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My goodness, God, I mean, when you were a young kid.
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Could you have imagined like spending this amount of time like and dealing with
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loss and divorce and financial troubles and health scares and food and school shootings and
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family division, political hel social media. I mean, my god, it
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was so nice growing up with a pager. But you know, we're going
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to remain stuck if we don't shake things up. And as someone that's always
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been a little bit rebellious in nature, I've always felt like I was shaking
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things up, good, bad or ugly by nature. That was me.
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So here we are it is focusing time on the me and the me in
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my life. Right in order to do that, I have to have some
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partners in crime. So as I reflected on my health journey and finding people
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like my guests today, I have figured I found that the most important thing
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to do is to focus on my well being because the rest will fall into
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place from that. And I have been doing it the backass words way for
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a very long time. I mean, what could be more important than my
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well being in my life? Just like my guests than his. So anyways,
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we're gonna talk a little bit about vulnerability. We're gonna get a little
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crazy here and We're going to talk about the fear of lifestyle changes and all
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that comes with that, and how this amazing man who has more energy than
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me is going to talk to you guys about it. Are you guys ready
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for it or what? Without further ado, I would like to introduce you
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to my guest today, Manual. Hello Darling, Hello Lindsay. It's just
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so good to be here again. I swear I just finally came down from
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our call from a few weeks ago because I've been high ever since. But
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I'm fully jacked up again. Way to go, So well, what do
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you scream? It is totally great. And so we're going to be competing
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for some airtime and I'm well aware of that. So I have expected me
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that I I've made that says don't interrupt specifically for you nice sometimes. So
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I'm going to give you a little bit of some kudos here. So Die
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is an empowering dapreneur, and this will mean something to you. But he
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is happily dating his wife and loving up on his two daughters, whose names,
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by the way are Chardonnay and Brelan. And everybody that is close to
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me knows how amazing those names are for children, and we'll get into some
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of that why those kids are named that way, Oh, the fun begins.
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He is running a mentoring lifestyle businesses. He coaches high performances to realize
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their best selves and is on a mission which I love to inspire and impact
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one million people across the globe to lead a funtionally fit life through education,
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encouragement and community. And when I say one million people, I feel like
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you've already done that, because how could you not have already touched that many
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people with your vibe. He is a published author of Whole Life Fitness Manifesto,
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which you absolutely need to pick up from Amazon. I I read it.
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It is wonderful. And he also has been his head X speaker,
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amongst many other things. And he knows the struggle on how to juggle through
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life, which we all I know, I've dropped many many balls in the
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struggling of the juggling of this little lady over here, but with the foundation
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of health at the core. So here we go, rolling out the red
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carpet. You like to get started with? You wa could do? Where
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are you starting your childhood and your struggles with your weight and yourself is stamp
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and let's take the road from there. We're gonna start sad and then we're
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gonna gay happy, all right, all right, well, you know what
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it's First of all, Linday, your energy is phenomenal. But beyond that,
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it's like, even when the camera's not on, you're you are cranking,
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and but in a really positive way, which is awesome because that kind
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of energy is often it recharges us at the same time as we're putting it
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out, you know, Like it's that because again it's that connective vibe that
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we all share amongst one another, and you know, whatever you're putting out,
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like honestly, I'm just trying to reflec back what you're already throwing down.
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So that's awesome. It's always interesting when I take I took a break
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off for about a month and a half because I had a bunch of banked
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episodes. I found myself actually pretty damn sad because I wasn't ramping myself up
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to do this. I wasn't like doing my performing with my buddies on cameraer
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or though you're my buddy now, but you know what I mean, It's
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just it's one of those things that brings me a lot of joy, So
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thank you. It's not about me, well regardless it you know, you're
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a wonderful example of what's possible when you really not only stop trying to avoid
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the hard stuff in our lives, but you actually start to embrace them.
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And it's not a matter of pay. I've got this thing. So there's
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all these reasons why I can't do certain things, but it's like, well
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no, you know, if anything, there's just more reasons why I continue
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to push on, you know. And and uh, I'm similar. I
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have a chronic auto immune conditioner to forget you later. And but like you
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and everyone else listening to this right now, we've all had our fair share
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of struggles. Yeah, and if you haven't, then you're just a big
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life. Well I'm just going to say, like, you're not going to
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get out of this thing, this thing called life without something, yeah,
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you know, and if you take a page from Buddha, like it's like
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it's like the only thing that we really know to be for certain is that
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things change and you're going to experience some suffering, you know. So it's
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like, okay, well that being said, why don't we start at the
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beginning, and uh, you know, I got to be honest, Lindsay,
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My the first nine years of my life was very idyllic. You know.
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It was, for lack of better description, from a nine year old's
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perspective, I would have said it was perfect. You know, great relationship
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with my family. My mom and dad were, from what I thought,
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madly in love. Still, you know, there was just a certain we
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lived in a bubble, you know, like this this this bubble, like
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kids often do. And I think that's what we do as parents is we
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often put a bubble around our kids. We want to protect them, shield
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them for as long as we can. But I remember coming to home after
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school one day and you know, I'm at nine, not in quick ten
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yet. My brother's a couple of years my junior. It's like mid afternoon,
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you know, and my dad's cars in the drive. I'mm's home too,
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and we're like, well, that's kind of weird. I mean,
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my dad's, you know, a workaholic. We'll just say that he worked
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all the time. And here here we are at age nine, me at
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nine, and my parents usher us into the living room. They drop a
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bomb on us. You know. The bomb is yeah, we're separating,
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and they had the initial premise was like, oh, we're just gonna take
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a break, right, and it's like, Okay, I'm nine, I
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already know that you're lying to me about that. Yeah, you just tell
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the body language, the energy, and I just remember breaking down sobbing,
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you know, just just this. I felt like the rug was pulled out
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from under me, as the cliche goes, like very much. So I
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felt my world was just rocked instantly. Well esp just that age, because
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nine years old, you're pretty damn smart when you're in fourth grade, Like
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my parents don't know most times too, So you know, I remember,
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but I don't remember. I remember so to date myself. You know,
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I'm forty six, almost forty seven now, and this would have been back
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in the mid eighties, okay, early to mid eighties, and we didn't
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have something called the internet, at least not the way that it is now.
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And also back then, there was a lot of stigma, negative stigmatization
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around divorce. You know, i'nlike today where you know, most relationships actually
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and more relationships and in divorce than actually succeed. So you know, now
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there's plenty of resources, there's groups there's support mechanisms in place, the support
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families that have to navigate these changes. I really didn't have those, and
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my parents, to be fair, they did the best they could, but
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they were in the thick of it, you know. Now, being someone
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in his mid forties in a long term relationship, I can appreciate all my
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parents must have been navigating, you know exactly, you know what I mean,
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Like, but back then I didn't. I had no idea. I
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was like, man, you just totally messed up my world, thank you.
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Yeah, well, we're the same age, and so I get it.
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Our parents were faced with like, well, okay, just come home
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safe, how about it. It was like there was no like, I
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know, with my family, it was just my mom was doing our MBA.
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My dad was a alcoholic running his own business. I was going to
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school. I was a kid, I was, you know, And it's
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just that same deal where you kind of like, well, I think we
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did the best that we could under the circumstances that we were given, but
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we didn't have any tools then. Yeah. Yeah, and it's hard,
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right, Like I mean, at any age, I think it's hard.
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I mean, you know, as children, we look up to our parents
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there are our first heroes, role models, really examples of adult team right
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and all the things that come with that stuff. And you know, I
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learned, though, very quickly, that you know, I was very with
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let's put it this, I went internal. I became very introverted. I
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didn't know how to express what I was dealing with, and that overwhelmed that
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that sadness, that that sort of this gap that was created by this you
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know event, a life event. And I learned something very quickly because my
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brother and I started having a lot more autonomy because my mom had to work
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longer. You know, she's trying to support my brother and I. My
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dad was just still doing his thing. We lived with my mom full time,
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my dad every other weekend, maybe, you know, if it wasn't
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working. And so this is gonna sound a little bit I don't know.
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I'm just gonna say it. At the time, when this is all happening,
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I just wanted to escape at all, Like you know, I think
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a lot of us feel that way anyways, even as adults. Something not
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to mention children, but you know, like when animals get hurt, what
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do they do? They hide, They isolate, And we are animals too,
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in that right, and so I found myself going internal, isolating,
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starting to do things that were very passive, so video games, movie watching,
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because those gave me instant dopamine hits, you know, as I can
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explain now. But I felt good in the moment when I was doing those
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things, and I could, you know, just shield out everything around me.
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And then here's the crazy part, Lindsay, And this is where the
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wheals and bus fell off was. I also realized I could manipulate my emotions
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and my psychology by eating certain things. And it wasn't like I was sitting
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around, Hey, Lindsay, lidzy, Lindsay, can you pass me some
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more salad? Please? Okay, that was something I never said. By
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the way, I don't say it now either. Okay. If there is
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one thing, there's something about functional diagnostic testing that I have loved on my
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journey over the past year or so. I am not supposed to eat lettuce
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because my body does not like it. It is amazing. Oh I'm sorry,
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I can't have salad. I'm allergic to love. Yeah, no veggies
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over here, I I. Well, so you can appreciate this too,
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though, like and I think a lot of people that are listening. I
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know if I was to ask, and you know it's rhetorical, no one
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can answer me right now. But maybe you're talking to yourself in the guard.
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It's all good if you do that. You know, like, have
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you ever recognized that there's certain things that we can ingest that instantly manipulate emotions
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and often what seems is positive. Yeah, and you know some illegal stuff
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too. That helps that the thing that I had access over, but also
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I had complete control over with what I ate and what I was doing passively,
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and I learned that you know, these foods that were very poor nutrition
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value had high end calories. Well, I craved the heck out of them,
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and I had them every single time I could, because it gave me
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this sense of escape, a sense of purpose as well, you know,
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which is odd to admit, but that set me on this trajectory that I
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was on for six years following that. So from nine to fifteen, we
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can all do the math on this, you know, passive lifestyle, lots
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of extra calories, not healthy calories. I ballooned the point just before I
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turned fifteen. My mom took me to the door doctor doctor Quinn and r
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GP and you know, he pulled my mom aside and he's like, then
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he ah, DII is morbidly obese. And you know for me and that
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this doctor Quinn, he's an interesting character. Was he's now long since retired,
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but he had his door jar when he had that conversation with my mom,
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right And I could fully hear them in the whole yea on about that.
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And I didn't understand and what abese meent, nor did I understand what
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morbidly meant. But I knew that they were referencing me, and I knew
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how I felt. I didn't need to be reminded about how I felt about
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myself, you know, And I was depressed. I was young with a
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lot of social anxiety, and on top of that, I just I avoided
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things, especially things with people like you know, because every time I walked
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into a room, i'd see people laughing. I just thought that they were
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laughing at me. They could have been halfway through a joke and laughing at
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what they did last week, but instantly my mind would go to that thing,
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they must be talking about me. They're laughing at me, they're pointing
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at me, And this is this place that I found myself in and you
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know, ideations of wouldn't it be easier to wake up tomorrow and not wake
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up, like wake up but don't wake up, you know, And that's
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how I thought as a kid. Yeah, especially as a teenager. I
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was just like, yeah, I just there's got to be an easier way,
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and maybe that's the easiest way to go, but never acted on it.
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I to be fair, I knew I was loved by my family,
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and I also was extreme scared of the idea of the finality of that.
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I just I was like, no, thank you, I got to figure
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out another way. Yeah, because it is scary to have. Yeah,
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yeah, it's scary because you, like lizz for you, what could have
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been for you? Like food, I'm just curious, like if you had
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similar relationship not when it came to mine was alcohol. I was my family.
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Yeah, firstrated, we've got started, nay and free wind for crying
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out, come on. For me, food has played an interesting role in
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my adulthood. I always ate very well. My parents had good food for
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me. I was an only child, so we it was just the three
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of us. So health wasn't that it was always at the forefront. I
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was always very active in skiing, hiking and biking, yoga and all the
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things. And then I started getting sick over over time, and we didn't
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really know what was happening, and now we found out. But over the
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past seven eight years, what ended up happening with me and food is I
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had a different kind of just ordered eating where I'm nauseous all of the time
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because of pain and the smell of food and all of it. So I
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ended up creating my own little cue eating disorder. And it's something that I
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am just now kicking and I didn't know that it was happening. It was
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just all of a sudden, I've atropheed and I know a lot of it
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is because I'm not doing the things I used to do. It's I can't
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walk my dogs. I can't do these things. Not yet. This is
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this is not an if, but a when. And so for me,
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the relationship with food has changed for the negative over the past couple of years.
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And then it's only just recently that I've started to actually try to nourish
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my body, but doing it with intention and be mindful about it. Even
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if I'm not eating a ton, I want to make sure that what I'm
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doing. I like sat down the other day and I was like, all
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right, little strawberry, you are going to nourish my nerves. You are
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going to help my stomachs. But like, and it's so interesting when you
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sit and you two and you and you go through that with your food and
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have a better relationship with it, where things start to shift. So I've
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actually found that I'm sleeping a little bit better. That's amazing, I know,
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I know. And some of that I'm cutting out. Yeah, I
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mean I cut out hard alcohol a couple of years ago. I drink wine,
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but you know, I find that if I drink wine too late at
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night, I'm up. So there's all these different relationships that I've had specifically
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with food and alcohol. But right now I'm trending positively in the right direction
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when it comes to giving my body fuel instead of letting my body eat my
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muscles and eat my body away from itself. And I love it that you
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reference it as fuel, because that's all food is, right, It's just
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fuel. It's just fuel. And yeah, there's higher octane and lower octane,
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okay, and there's even clean burd and electric, right, So there's
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all these options and it can be really a challenge for any of us to
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navigate. And it's because there is a lot of misinformation. There's a lot
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of conflicting information, you know, especially that talks about food timing right,
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talk about eat this, don't eat that. I mean, there's an entire
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book series put out that talks about all this of bore, give me a
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break. We know how to eat, guys, We do. We do.
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It's not like it's something that we've just picked up. I mean,
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we do it all the time, every day. But it is exhausting,
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you know, because when we look at things and and this is sort of
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a I know, going off in a tangentier, but it's the diet culture
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that really aggravates me, you know, and and beings that I was someone
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that suffered within that that culture, if you will, that that got chewed
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up and spat out and regurgitated again and again, and that thing because the
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understanding of what a diet is isn't what it actually means. We we we
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see this as a general population, as something for weight loss. Right,
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you talk about that in your book. You talk about that in your book
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that people come to you and there's like weight loss is my journey, this
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is what it is. It's like, hey, my journey is is to
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get healthy, and weight gain is actually asked to happen to me, so
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exactly. And that's and but that's good that you recognize that, you know,
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and but but it's also different because a lot of us just believe we
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hear the word diet and we think omatally it means eating to lose weight or
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not eating at all. Right, And so at age nine, I mean
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I didn't know what I was doing. I just knew that if I ate
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certain foods, especially like Costco do, I was gonna sell Costco muffins.
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Those things were like cakes, right, And they're like fifteen hundred calories and
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one of those, and it would be often I'd have two in a day
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on top of everything else. You know. So I was like three thousand
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calories just that extra eat a week. Oh yeah, Like trust me.
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I was a big boy for a reason. Right. So but at age
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fifteen, just it eventually got to that breaking point. And to just surmise,
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and if you want, I can go into a little bit of detail,
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but I'll just tell you right now what ultimately happened was I became petrified
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of the idea of not changing. Oh yes, more so than the idea
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of changing. Uh huh. You know, like that's really what happened.
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I was so afraid that if I didn't start doing something different, well,
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life isn't going to be any better than it is right now at age fifteen.
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In fact, by the time I'm twenty, and you know, right
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around that point in time, you know, at fifteen, you know,
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you're in high school. You're talking to those guidance counselors that are trying to,
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you know, sort of guide you to making a decision of where you're
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going to go after school. And so I'm having these conversations. I'm like,
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I don't like to even think about that right now. Yeah, You're
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like, I'm thinking about Denny's, thinking about going to Denny's right now.
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Give me a grand slam, please, And yeah. So it's you know,
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that was it. That was life. And remember being at my father's
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this and this event. It's still like it's just emblazoned on my mind.
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Right. It was so both cathartic but also recognizing I was on an ultimate
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loan and I was at my dad's place. I was having a shower,
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and for some reason, my dad was trying to rush, you know,
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usher my brother and I for some sort of time. I don't know what.
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I don't eve remember what we were doing that day, but I just
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remember he was like hammering on the door, like, come on, we
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gotta get going. We got to be out of here in like twenty minutes.
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And I historical would always have long showers, and the reason being I'd
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always turn the water on extra hot right before I get out because by the
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time I get out of that shower to towel off, even if I cut
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just out of my peripheral my reflection conversation, the mirror was always covered,
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so I never had to look at myself. Oh my gosh, I said,
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I wasn't going to cry on this episode, and now I want to
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stab That is the staddest thing I've ever heard heard. Oh that was me.
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That was my bathroom, my shower hack all the time, all that.
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And there's also a reason, like there's just like two photos of me
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during that period when I was in that state of unhealth because I avoided the
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camera. And I'm just so grateful that I didn't have to deal with what
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we deal with today. People are walking around with better cameras in their back
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pocket than I ever had to worry about back then. You know, it's
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a valid point. Oh yeah, that's why I really do you know.
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Now, being a father of two young adults, I'm like, I just
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don't know how the hell they navigated all that too, because they grew up
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in this this extra pressure of this constantly being on, Oh yeah, my
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grandma, and in of itself is a reason for kids. I mean,
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it's just I'm so glad I didn't have that. I have enough self esteem
22:04
issues going on, but I don't need it. It's bad enough to have
22:07
to liok at Kim Kardashian everywhere you like. It's it's hard, It's really
22:15
hard. And so here I was fifteen, get a nunder the shower because
22:18
my dad's rushed me, and I realized I hadn't got to do my hack,
22:22
and I started toweling off and I could see my peripheral I could see
22:25
me, and I have no idea why, but that day I turned and
22:30
I looked at myself, and I don't recall the last time doing that,
22:33
but I knew instantly. I was like, I do not like this person.
22:37
I'm looking at and I can't believe there's sort of this disbelief. I'm
22:40
like, is that mean? M I even look at me? You know,
22:41
because I just never wanted to acknowledge where I was nor my role in
22:47
getting there, you know what I mean. So ignorance is bliss. People,
22:49
right, It's just easier to sleep and deal with the hardships if I
22:55
just pretend that I'm not aware of them. Called another day, I'll do
22:57
it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow. All this tomorrow. Oh my god,
23:02
Annie, what he really blew it totally right? The son never damn
23:07
came out. What the hell like? I don't know, but but regardless,
23:11
Jerry was looking at me. I started to do the scan down,
23:15
you know, getting to my man boobs, continuing down to my gut which
23:19
was overhanging, you know, my waist, and you know, by the
23:22
time I got back up to my to look myself in the face again,
23:26
I was telleling off for a second time because it was like Niagara falls,
23:30
you know, I was gushing like it was now. I can honestly say
23:34
it was a cathartic cry or more of a sob session, because it was
23:37
my first time not only seeing myself in that state, but actually acknowledging my
23:42
role in it. So if you know what I mean, like I knew
23:45
that this is where I am right now. It doesn't need to be where
23:48
I end, but I got myself to this destination. No, I and
23:52
I used to try to blame everybody else, right, I blame my dad.
23:55
My dad buys jump food. That's your fault. I'm overweight. You
23:57
keep buying this jump food and he's like, well you keep eating it.
24:00
I go, well, yeah, And I also I kept asking them to
24:03
buy it, right, And so I came out of that shower, I
24:10
held off, I went and changed, and then I immediately went into the
24:12
living room and I found my dad and I said, Dad, I want
24:17
to get healthy. And I remember grabbing the rolls on my stomach. I
24:18
mean, I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't like how
24:22
I feel, I don't like how I look. I just I really just
24:26
don't like me. Do you think I can get healthy? My Dad's like,
24:30
well, yeah, what can I do to help you? You know?
24:32
And to be fair, that was the best thing you could have asked,
24:33
because up to that point my parents were always trying to be very positive
24:37
and give me suggestions and ways that they could support me with me. But
24:41
every time they came to me saying hey, my mom, especially she was
24:45
an RN, She's like, I you know, I think her name was
24:47
Sue or was it Tracy, I don't remember, but he's like, my
24:48
friend Sue. She's a dietician. You know, she'd be happy to sit
24:52
down with you and talk to you about food and ways to eat better.
24:56
I'm like, you're just telling me that you don't like me the way I
24:59
am. You're telling me I need to change. Yeah, you can't blow
25:03
it, but that was it. That's what I was, and I would
25:07
act out. I would just be not a very pleasant person at times,
25:11
you know, very moody because I was dealing with a lot of emotions constantly.
25:15
And my dad was like, what can we do for you? And
25:18
I was like, you know what I used to like riding a bike as
25:18
a kid. Do you think we can go get me a bike? And
25:21
he's like, sure, let's do that. We literally, whatever that appointment
25:25
was that we had, we didn't do it. He took me to the
25:26
bike store, we got me a bike. I came home that afternoon,
25:30
I went for a ride. It was about three blocks and then I'd try
25:32
and go home gas. But regardless, I went out for a short ride,
25:37
and mentally I made the shift. I made a commitment that I'm going
25:40
to try to get healthier. And so that was sort of what began as
25:44
a very long and lengthy journey with lots of ups downside the sides, but
25:48
regardless, I was very committed to getting healthy. It took twenty months,
25:53
all right, So it took about six years to put all that weight on,
25:56
took about twenty months to release it, to find a new lifestyle,
25:59
to get into a new sort of way of being, if you will.
26:03
But everything was focused on the outside from what people could see. Like,
26:06
that's all I focused on. And you know that my extrinsic. So for
26:08
those that are aware, we have these things called intrinsic and extrinsic motivations.
26:12
You know, there's the internal motivations and we have the external motivators. For
26:18
me, externally, I wanted a girlfriend. Okay, I did I want
26:22
to see it, but you know what, lindsay, it was more than
26:27
that. I just wanted somebody to want me totally want of course, yeah,
26:33
we all do we all have that innately and as a there's I mean,
26:37
even on my darkest days overall, I still set my alarm clock,
26:41
I wake up, I shower, I put my freaking mescar on, I
26:42
blow dry my hair, I put on some gloss, and I call it
26:45
a day and I get going, even though I want to lay in bed
26:49
and feel like sorry for myself in the morning. The mornings are the hardest
26:52
for me because I have to wake up in the morning and make a decision
26:56
that I'm going to do this day because I but I and I know you
27:00
know how much pain I'm going to be in throughout the day, and the
27:02
morning is the hardest, and then you know, from like midnight to three
27:07
is the second part of the day that's very hard. But it is.
27:11
You have to be your own cheerleader and your own advocate, and you have
27:14
to be intentional about what you're doing. And we all stink at it sometimes,
27:18
so don't be just left up about it. We all go backwards.
27:21
Sometimes I have to go one step forward and nine steps back to learn another
27:25
lesson for the thirtieth time on the same damn thing I should have learned from
27:29
before. But you keep ongoing, you keep ongoing, And it's scary that
27:33
the suicidal tendency side of stuff. We've talked about it on the show before
27:37
and I can bring it up here too, but it's very scary when you've
27:40
been in chronic pain or in any kind of pain where they put you on
27:41
any kind of medication or they put you on things that make you think that
27:45
you are somebody different than who you are, that you're thinking about doing things
27:49
because you don't have the tools to work through them where you feel misunderstood,
27:53
or you feel vulnerable and so exposed, and by you going in telling your
28:00
dad like I need help, right, that's the hardest thing to do,
28:03
is just that asking for help. And at such a young age you it
28:07
was. It's really neat to hear somebody that had that much like, I
28:11
don't know the word I'm looking for, but it's fanciful and I can't put
28:15
it to You just had at auch a young age, you were able to
28:18
figure out what you needed to do. And that's that's pretty brave for a
28:22
fifteen year old kid to look in the mirror and go, I don't like
28:25
this anymore, and I know that I can live better than this. That's
28:29
awesome. Oh, thank you, And you know it was a long time
28:32
coming. And I think anybody that's experienced or is in the process of experiencing
28:37
or desiring a big change, you can relate to the comment I made about
28:41
fear right or pain more appropriately, like, when it hurts bad enough,
28:47
you're going to get up in off that nail and do something about it.
28:49
Right. It's like if you've got a splinter in your finger and you can
28:53
cope, you can just normalize that and go on about your day. But
28:57
there comes a point where that thing might get it might start to throb,
29:00
it might start to get really painful, to the point where it's like,
29:03
you know what, I can't just normalize this anymore. I need to do
29:06
something about it. I gotta get this splinter out of my finger because I'm
29:08
not going to take this pain anymore. I'm not going to accept the normalizing
29:12
of my life and especially me in that state of unhealth. And because it
29:15
was normal, right, Like, I think about it, six years of
29:18
my life and at that point I got it. I started getting Yeah,
29:21
it was like fifty percent of my time on this planet. People are like,
29:25
oh, my dear, you were a young kid. No, give
29:27
me break. Everybody can hurt from the very beginning of time. Okay,
29:30
yes, absolutely, and we do, we know, we do think there's
29:36
listen, we all navigate that differently, but there's some very real shared emotional
29:41
responses that we have to certain stimuli and that we can say I get you,
29:45
I understand what you're dealing with, you know, and I can imagine
29:48
that at times, it's also very isolating because if we feel that no one
29:52
gets us or understands what we're dealing with, and if we're not willing to
29:56
open up to share that or articulate that, of course it's gonna be very
30:00
isolating. Of course we're gonna feel alone. Of course we're gonna feel nobody
30:03
gets me. But it's like, well, did I don't really tell anybody
30:04
anything to get you know, like and and that's where you got to sometimes
30:08
holed up the Mira sentish. Well have I made the effort to open up
30:14
and ask for help? And I know for myself, most of my life
30:17
I've been really bad at that. Okay, like I'm getting better, but
30:21
it's been it's been something I've had to consciously and intentionally work on. Yeah,
30:26
So that was my journey. You know, I'm by seventeen. I
30:29
was healthy, at least from the outside looking in, but internally I was
30:33
still dealing with a lot of emotions and still very withdrawn, isolated. And
30:38
I started being more social because I was getting an invitations, I was getting
30:41
attention, that validation that I was just starving for, right, and but
30:47
I find myself getting into these social settings and the anxiety was really bad.
30:51
I couldn't open up to people. But then magic happened. I went to
30:55
a party, a bush party, as they do in Ontario, so just
30:56
outside of Toronto, it's very common you get bush party. So I edited
31:00
this bush party and I'm offered a drink. Oh this is nice. Oh
31:06
this is even better, had a third one. I'm like, oh,
31:08
those girls a I'm going to talk to those girls. So those guys over
31:11
there sitting in that circle talking about stuff, I'm going to go get in
31:14
the circle with them and start talking to those guys. Yes and courage,
31:18
like legit, right, there's truth. And all of a sudden, I
31:21
started engaging with people, but more importantly, they were engaging with me.
31:25
I thought they were liking me and liking this version of me to the point
31:29
that I get invited to other parties, get invited on a date like just
31:32
and all of a sudden, I'm like, whoa, this is good.
31:34
I need this, you know, I need more of this. And I
31:38
learned very early that I believed everybody valued that version of me more than who
31:41
I was, and so that's what I would prioritize, and that set me
31:47
in a fifteen year journey of abusing alcohol. You know, yeah, went
31:51
from cupcakes to booze seriously, because they both manipulate your emotions. Oh my
32:00
gosh. So I know that you talk about sugar in your book, and
32:02
I know you've got tools and stuff to help us break our sugar cravings and
32:06
such. I have just recently noticed within myself that, like I've been,
32:09
you know, now, that I've started to get my appetite again, and
32:13
I'm trusting that my stomach's not going to throw it all over the place,
32:15
and I'm trusting that my body is actually going to use this to nourish me.
32:21
I've gotten to the point where, just like drinking kind of started just
32:23
like, oh okay, I'm drinking far less than I used to and doing
32:28
all these things, and but I am literally looking for cookies and ice cream
32:32
every morning and every afternoon. That's not to say that I was drinking every
32:36
morning an afternoon, It's just my body in the morning was like, wait
32:39
a second, you didn't have as much to drink yesterday as I did the
32:43
day before. What's happening here? So what can we do when we're looking
32:46
to because I know there's a lot of people that are listening at right now
32:49
that drink a little bit too much. Come on, be real, be
32:52
real, shake not your heckina. I know I've been looking at myself in
32:55
the mirror too, and I'm not young anymore and I can't do that anymore.
32:59
And like, yeah, hangovers don't work like they used to. Used
33:01
to be hungover and just study for your finals and it was good to go,
33:07
right. So what do you do when you're embarking on quitting something,
33:12
letting go of something from a health perspective, nutrition, alcohol, and so
33:15
on. What are some tips that you have that worked for you, Because
33:20
I know for your energy style, which is similar to mine, there are
33:23
a lot of people that do still use it. For the liquid court.
33:27
Even though you would never guess that I need it, I am extremely shy.
33:30
I am so incredibly shy. I don't like getting but I can sing
33:36
in front of twenty thousand people, no problem. Get me in a room
33:38
of like fifteen to twenty people. My knees are knocking. I it is
33:43
a mess. But if I have a couple glasses of wine, I'm going
33:45
to go well. I can relate. And thanks for sharing that, because
33:49
I think that's common for many yes people out there, you know, like
33:53
alcohols first introduced is something that fun let loose. But we realize when we
33:59
pull down or tear down some of those inhibitions through that liquid courage, as
34:02
they say, we can start to do things that maybe we've always wanted to
34:06
do but we've been suppressing, you know, because obviously the skills in us
34:09
to do that, but we're getting this sort of block a that's there preventing
34:15
us. It gets it out of the way when you have a few drinks,
34:16
right, And so it is that in itself becomes very addictive, you
34:22
know, is that that desire to want to be that person, the one
34:25
that gets recognized and acknowledged and connected with because connection is fun. It's one
34:30
of the highest values we can have as a human species. You know,
34:34
is that connection with one another. So I can appreciate the position. But
34:39
when it comes to sugars and sugars, you know, when you look at,
34:44
as an example, sugar calories, for every gram of sugar, it's
34:47
four calories. You know, every gram of alcohol it's nine calories. The
34:53
weight to wait, it's treated sugar, it is like alcohol. Sugars as
34:59
well. Refer to it as it is very much treated like a sugar,
35:04
but it's a little bit different because it's higher caloric value than what we're typically
35:07
used to, you know. And so where I'm going with this is recognizing
35:14
that there's an emotional connection to why you're craving sugars. You have to understand
35:20
is this an emotional psychological connection or is there an actual physical need? And
35:24
usually it's a combination of all there. All that being said, but we
35:29
have to recognize what are the triggers that create this response that we need sugar.
35:35
Because when we think about habits, there's always some sort of trigger.
35:38
Then we have something in between, right, we have the habit or an
35:42
action that we take after the trigger, and then there's a result, which
35:45
is usually a feeling an experience that we have by doing the thing. And
35:50
so when you start to recognize what's the trigger, you can start to ask
35:54
yourself, Okay, is there a different habit I can replace this, assist
35:59
that trigger that will still bridge trigger with feeling. It's recognizing the triggers that
36:05
create the habit and ultimately that emotional response because we're chasing the feeling. Okay,
36:09
we're always chasing the feeling. For myself, it was a feeling of
36:15
reprieve, if you know what I mean. Like I it was this a
36:17
little bit of an escape. It was an opportunity to just forget about everything
36:21
in my life and just focus on that one action, which in the moment,
36:24
I feel really good, I get that little sugar hit, i'd get
36:28
that little dopamine hit. I feel good. I have those little happy endorphins
36:31
start floating around in my body, and I'm like, Okay, life isn't
36:35
that bad? Yeah, but sure enough, And this is what I with
36:37
sugar. You have a dip. You will have a dip. The more
36:39
refined the sugar, the more pronounced the dip, and I'd have this crash.
36:44
But I knew really quick, hey, I can fix that. I
36:45
will eat some more. Yeah, And so we're constantly chasing this emotional response.
36:52
So one share it with somebody that you care about, then you actually
36:55
value their input and support. Maybe find a community to join as well.
37:00
I've been long too, not just joined, but belong to you know what,
37:07
God, everybody is taking their head. How many people have joined the
37:10
gym this year? Are you absolutely using the gym? And it's easy,
37:15
right, because just by one activity, we start to think that, oh,
37:20
you see, I'm doing something about this. Yeah, you know,
37:23
I'm doing fifty dollars a month for my gym. That's what I'm doing.
37:29
And we're doing it to a peace of mind, sometimes just to appease somebody
37:31
else, right and again wrong motivation. But so once you've identified that,
37:37
you've now found people to support you the next it's not as challenging as what
37:44
might most people will think. But if we're talking about sugar specifically, I
37:47
would recommend that you just go through your home and remove a lot of those
37:52
sugary treats that you know that late at night, if that's the worst time
37:55
of day for you, take it out of the house. You know,
38:00
my wife even knows today I still have a nasty sugar tooth. You know,
38:02
like I have a sweet tooth. I it's it's a hard habit to
38:07
break, okay, And so we have an agreement. We just don't bring
38:09
a lot of that stuff into the house, you know, we just don't.
38:13
And if it's not here, I don't have to worry about it.
38:14
And in particularly I'm talking about cookies. Okay, I'm a cookie haul Like
38:16
you think cookie Monster's got a cookie problem. Hell no, he got that
38:20
from me, all right. Like I cookies, give me somewhere in the
38:22
house and I will find them. I had ice cream yesterday. That's so
38:30
good. Things choc is amazing for breakfast because I woke up and I'm like,
38:42
you know what, I'm just gonna have a couple of bites. And
38:44
then I did. But now my sweetie comes in and he brought five pints
38:46
some from the supermarket. I was gonna say, sweetie is sweetie? Right?
38:53
I got it all. Yeah. But here's the thing. You know.
38:59
When I spread to my dad and my mom that I wanted to make
39:00
these health changes, sure we went and got me a bike. I started
39:04
to educate myself a nutrition and I started going grocery shopping with my mom.
39:08
I started helping pick out our foodoods. I also started to make dinners often
39:13
for our family, my brother, my mom, and I. So I
39:15
started to educate myself on proper nutrition. And what I realized very quickly was
39:22
I can feel great eating these healthy foods. I can feel sustained energy,
39:27
and I can make healthier treat options. One of my favorite things. I
39:30
recommend this to everybody if you don't have any nut allergies, of course,
39:34
but like almond butter, was fleshly sliced apples, one apple with a couple
39:38
of tablespoons a peanut butter. It's a couple hundred calories, but you will
39:43
feel very satiated. But it also tickles that little sweet tooth that we all
39:45
have, and so we don't feel like we're constantly depraving ourselves or having to
39:50
live in this place of no no, no oh store yeah, because that's
39:53
hard. It's really hard, you know, And and once you start to
39:58
give yourself these healthier options, you start to realize, I can do this.
40:01
And it's the I can do this that I really want people to experience,
40:06
because once you experience that inner confidence to the clarity you get because you're
40:09
also educating yourself you'll take more decisive action and you'll stop procrastinating as much.
40:15
Now I didn't say stop entirely, but you'll find that you start to procrastinate
40:19
less. And that's what creates the results, is the consistency of actually doing
40:22
the action. And so you know, there's there's lots of stuff you can
40:27
do on the sugar front, but I think those are the most critical ones
40:29
because that is duplicatable and replicatable in any other changes you want to make in
40:32
your life to follow with similar path. Yeah, that's those are really good.
40:37
Like I said earlier about how those little baby steps if you take that
40:39
one little stuff, like if it is weight loss that you are trying to
40:43
go after, it's trying to stop dating, just literally eating in chocolate chip
40:46
ice cream for breakfast. I'm trying to stop these kinds of behaviors, pull
40:51
them in chocolatesip about and have the apple and the band and the apple and
40:53
banan or whatever. And so one of the things that I actually just switched
40:57
doing is in the morning because of except for yesterday because it was a weird
41:00
morning, but I'm waking up and I'm having some fruit in the morning,
41:02
and I normally I normally wait to eat if I'm gonna until about two or
41:07
three o'clock in the afternoon where I am actually conscious. Is that intentional for
41:13
you or just what's happening. No, it's just what's happened over I don't
41:15
even know how long years. No, it even came on before my pain
41:20
stuff. Because talk about the workaholic business owner by myself doing everything for me,
41:23
meaning me, but it really wasn't ever for me. It was for
41:27
everybody else. And so I would be like I'd be in my in my
41:30
office at like five o'clock in the morning, I wouldn't stop and it'd be
41:31
two o'clock and I hadn't had anything like nothing, And so I had to
41:37
make some adjustments in that even just on time, like I've got to put
41:39
something in my body in the morning. I don't even care what it is
41:43
right now, just to start that habit. And so studying assignment, chocolate,
41:46
ship, ice cream, doing those things and being intentional about it,
41:50
it's been a thing. And I've noticed now if I leave fruit out on
41:52
the counter sliced up, that my sweety walks buy and eats it as well.
41:55
So it is so awesome to grow up the cookie kind of guy too,
42:00
So it's really neat. And you mentioned it in your book as well
42:04
about how when you do focus on yourself, it actually ends up helping the
42:07
relationships that are around you. And it's so true because when you're working on
42:12
your own self, all all the things that you're taking on. And I'm
42:15
an EmPATH as well, so i take everybody else's feelings on and all their
42:20
mischy gas and all of their stuff, and I'm just like, oh,
42:22
MoMA me, I've got a lot of here. I've got a lot here
42:25
now, and then I'm adding everybody else's stuff on top of it. And
42:29
so it's had to be something like I said, the baby steps taking away.
42:31
If it's a person that needs to leave your life, that needs to
42:35
be you need to get rid of that person in your life because they are
42:37
not healthy. If they are your cupcake, you know, those are the
42:39
things that you have to do, because we do. And the sooner I
42:43
started getting some of these people that are in my life that were just causing
42:45
me harm. Wow does that feel good? On the people front, on
42:49
the food front, on the alcohol front, you just can it can hit
42:52
every facet of your life. If you just start doing making some small changes
42:55
is really cool, well said, you know, it's it's amazing. This
43:00
compound effect goes both ways. You know. I share an example and it's
43:04
it's not an exact example, but it just gives people an idea of how
43:07
this works. And what I mean by that is, if you were having
43:10
just an extra glass of wine every day, you know, and that wine
43:14
is above and beyond how many calories you need today. Like, so for
43:17
all of us, just our bodies to function, if we were to stay
43:20
in bed all day long, our bodies still require calories to do all the
43:23
things that our body needs to do. Yeah, like repair exactly. Yes,
43:30
yes, yes, that that whole system's got to keep going right out
43:35
and it needs calories. And so when you take note of that, but
43:39
then you add on top of that any of your activities that you do,
43:43
it adds a little bit more calories that are required. And let's just say
43:46
you get that exact number every day, great, awesome, you're optimal.
43:51
But if you add on top of that a little bit extra that you don't
43:53
necessarily need, even if it's only a small glass of wine one hundred and
43:57
fifty calories, you do that every day for a year, and that's going
44:01
to translate into loosely five to seven pounds weight gain over a year. It's
44:06
amazing how that can hap But it doesn't happen overnight. So we have that
44:07
extra thing just tonight, and also we wake up some more like whoa,
44:10
who's I'm in the mirror right, It's just it's it's not that pronounced.
44:14
It's gradual over time. But also on the reverse side, and I hope
44:19
this empowers everyone, is if you were to reduce just one hundred and fifty
44:22
calories a day below what you totally need, that creates a little bit of
44:25
a deficit that can compound over time too, which could at the end of
44:30
the year translate to a loss of five to seven pounds, you know,
44:35
without even really thinking about it. Yeah, but that's the thing, is,
44:37
Yeah, if you're saying but if you're not even thinking about it,
44:40
that's the key. Because for me, if you're always thinking about the mint
44:44
chocolates of ice cream that's in the freezer right now, which is now fully
44:46
the only thing I'm thinking about, I'm hot, hot, bothered. No.
44:58
But man, if you just it is really making that one choice because
45:01
I know at night, I'm like, I can't sleep. I'm just I'm
45:05
just wired. I'm like, oh, I have another glass of wine.
45:08
You just say that you just did it for me, right, and like
45:12
for me, so the weight gain is not scary for me outside of if
45:15
I put more weight on my body, that means there's more weight that's going
45:19
to my that my is on my feet, and my feet is where my
45:22
crps started and it's the most painful part of my body. So so for
45:25
me, putting on weight ouholds a negative connotation, not like other body just
45:30
morphic things. Mine is strict. They will if I put on more weight,
45:32
it's going to hurt me more. It is also true depending upon the
45:37
type of weight I'm putting on. So for me, I'm like, I've
45:39
actually feed a lot, especially in my legs because I'm using my arms so
45:42
much in a wheelchair. But it's just it's there's so many little things that
45:46
I've been changing along the way that I didn't realize that I was really doing.
45:50
And now I'm at this place where and I mentioned it on another episode,
45:53
but that I'm kind of standing at this place with this really big door.
45:57
Right, I've opened all these little ones along the way, and they've
46:00
some of them open and gave me great opportunities. Someone got slammed in my
46:02
face. Some of them I walked through and went, WHOA. I should
46:05
not be in this place, you know. But I've gone through all of
46:07
my alice in wonderland and now here I am at this big door and it's
46:10
pretty daunting because I have to make a big change in my world right now,
46:14
and in order to do so, all those little things have got me
46:16
a place where I feel strong enough that I can mm and even though I'm
46:22
even though I'm scared shitless, I'm still ready to rock and roll, you
46:25
know. But it took me making those little changes along the way in order
46:30
to feel the way that I feel right now. So I'm so happy you
46:34
made those changes. I know that you are continuously making those changes because I'm
46:37
working on right now. But that's all you can do, though, Lindsay.
46:42
And the fact that you're sharing your journey though publicly, I think is
46:45
just awesome From the standpoint it gives not only hope to everyone else, but
46:50
it also just shows that there is a process that any one of us can
46:52
participate it. Yeah, and I think, yeah, once we really plug
46:57
in and we recognize that, like, let's be frank, it's more fun
47:01
to go travel on a journey with other people. I mean, it's one
47:05
thing to try to do it by yourself. But I'll tell you, as
47:07
a kid, what I didn't do myself favors by doing all that stuff on
47:10
my own initially, you know, like all the activities, the bike rides.
47:14
I gravitated to doing individual sports because I always felt still awkward around other
47:19
people and never did team sports. I avoided them, and so I ended
47:22
up doing a lot of solo stuff, which didn't help with me coming out
47:25
of my shell so to speak, and connecting with people without alcohol. And
47:30
so you know, there there's sort of that balance that we're trying to find,
47:35
or harmony is probably more appropriate. You know, it's not so much
47:37
balance as it is just trying to figure out do we get everything to work
47:40
together synergistically, and that's often easier said than done. Well, I know,
47:45
I know we can sit here and be our bully pulpit over here and
47:47
be like stop, So what about you an alcohol I'm just curious, like,
47:52
what's your alcohol journey been? How did it fit into the whole Oh
47:54
my god, it's been. It was been a very very long journey.
47:59
I started drinking when I was nine, and that started, I know,
48:02
and that started because I was an insomniac. And so my grandpa told my
48:07
parents, just give her a little hotty toddy, right to help us.
48:10
Right then, Oh the seven days and the eight days, they're so good
48:15
to us, and now we're like great, Now my life is completely falling
48:17
apart because of this stuff. No, but it feels like that some days,
48:22
of course for everybody. But yeah, no, it started at such
48:23
a young age to help me with my insomnia, but it ended up not
48:28
helping me with insomnia. Hello. All it did was increase my anxiety and
48:32
make me immediately fall into both my Both of my biological parents definitely have issues
48:37
with their alcohol and their drinking. So I come from that. It's even
48:42
in our marketing world and our advertising world. I mean, drinking is cool
48:45
and it's sexy, and it makes you prettier, and it makes you find
48:47
more cute boys and cute girls. I mean that we are literally just marketed
48:52
that this is the way that you're supposed to live and supposed to do things.
48:53
And I was absolutely party animal crazy, out of control, rebellious,
48:58
the whole nine yards, and everybody that knows you know this is just to
49:00
be true. And I've gotten myself into some pretty gross situations, some of
49:05
which were my fault, some of which were not, and I've had to
49:07
unpack and I like that word you used it earlier in the episode, but
49:10
I've had to unpack a lot of the reasons as to why that stuff was
49:13
happening. And I didn't really know, and I didn't really understand it until
49:16
when I started this show. It's very expensive therapy. It's worth it.
49:24
It is so worth it because I mean people like you along the way too,
49:29
that bring to light that have experienced similar things to myself. And of
49:32
course I've guessed that I don't have anything similar with but it is really eye
49:37
opening to me to hear success stories and how they've done it and how alcohol
49:40
has played a role in their life. And almost everybody I talked to has
49:45
had to play a role in their life, good, bad and ugly,
49:49
and so it is part of my journey and it's something that's been slowly kind
49:52
of I don't I have my days where I'm like, I don't care,
49:53
I'm drinking about of wine tonight. That's what's happening. So everybody can just
49:57
bite me, you know, don't tell me about it the next morning.
50:01
I already know the stuff that you know, that is one of my big
50:07
heavy doors here that I'm looking at as even though I'm not drinking like I
50:10
used to, I'm still drinking. And there's a part of it that I'm
50:13
like, you know what, I'm just not My sweetie doesn't drink at all,
50:15
So that's good for me too, because you know, my ex husband
50:20
was that if you can't be and I'm joining them kind of a situation.
50:22
So I got pretty I got pretty dark in my in my last marriage,
50:25
and it was my last, like I've had like thirty of them, but
50:30
I mean, you never know with this one anyway, so he so,
50:36
So basically what it came down to is I'm facing, you know, making
50:38
a decision to either completely stop it or do what I've been doing, which
50:43
is just slowly but surely tapering it down. But then you know the element
50:45
of you know, moderation is not for everybody, and it's it's a scary
50:52
place to be because you're afraid of who you are without it, and yeah,
50:58
thank you. I'm here on yeah, because you are. And it
51:02
is something that I'm like, am I gonna lose my zest for life?
51:06
Am I gonna left? Am I gonna like lose this stellar personality of mine?
51:09
So my sense of humor gonna go all the way? Hey, I've
51:12
been doing great right now and I haven't been having to evening drink, so
51:15
I have to remind myself of that stuff too. It's just when all you
51:19
know is basically almost forty years of drinking you and in the middle of our
51:24
life because we're at that, you know, I mean, I don't know
51:25
if I'm gonna make it tonight, let's be real. But it's like,
51:30
it's scary, it's daunting because I don't know what's on the other side of
51:32
that door, but I know that it's probably gonna be better than all of
51:37
the skeletons and all the closets that I've been trying to climb out of for
51:39
school many years. Yeah. Yes, so it's empowering. It is scary,
51:44
but empowering. Well, thank you for sharing that, I thank you
51:47
for asking the question. So now, well, I think it's important to
51:51
know because I know we're all Listen, no one gets out of this unscathed.
51:54
Right, We're all got a battle scars. And I think the biggest
52:00
thing I took away from what you just shared was this awareness and intention around
52:04
drinking and what I mean by that. It's not mindless drinking. Like even
52:07
just you said, well screw tonight, I'm having a whole bottle of wine.
52:09
You're consciously saying, I'm doing it like. It's not like it just
52:13
happens by accident. It's not just habitual mindless drinking. Right, I tell
52:19
people, like, listen, I like pie just like the next person.
52:22
Okay, and some I love pumpkin pie. We're coming into the season right
52:25
now, right, and I love pumpkin pie. I think it's great.
52:30
I won't eat a whole pie. I won't eat it every day, but
52:31
I enjoy it, just like I enjoy a piece of cheesecake it from time
52:35
to time. But when I'm eating it, I'm not there thinking, you
52:39
know, as I'm putting a mouthful into my mouth, you know that food
52:44
exactly, because that's how we most of us feel. Because these foods have
52:47
been vilified by the meating it's evil. Those are bad foods, right,
52:53
and Meanwhile, the part of life we enjoy those we're having a wonderful experience,
52:57
maybe with a great group of friends from dinner, and it's like,
53:00
you know what, I want a piece of cheesecake. I'm choosing to eat
53:02
this and I'm going to love every bit of it. Yeah, and I'm
53:06
not going to allow myself to feel guilty about it, you know, because
53:08
I'm aware of my decision. It's not an everyday thing. It truly is
53:12
a treat, you know. And so it's that awareness of how much are
53:15
we being to influenced in our belief system, specifically when it comes to how
53:20
we nourish ourselves, and because that is I think the biggest challenge we have
53:23
as a society, specifically in North America, because we are constantly being bombarded
53:30
with negative messaging, especially around the diet culture and vilification of food. So
53:35
of course we're gonna feel guilty every time we eat it because we've been told
53:37
we should. Yeah. Yeah, oh man, it's awful, right.
53:43
It's all like I keep thinking Austin Powers, and you remember Mike Myers played
53:46
a certain character. He's like, yes, I eat because I'm sad,
53:52
And I'm sad because I eat right, Like, yeah, it is.
53:55
It's a cycle and it is a hard one to break, but it's not
54:00
impossible. But again, it comes with a lot of intentionality and specific actions.
54:06
But the thing that I want to leave people with and really stress on
54:08
this point, You're going to start to feel good, you know. And
54:13
when you start to feel good, you're going to start to see things differently,
54:15
especially how you look at yourself. You're going to start to look at
54:19
life differently. Your relationships will change, your sweet quality will change, you
54:24
know, you yourself will change. And it's a positive evolution. It's not
54:30
a negative thing to run from. And just be prepared as you experience these
54:35
changes. It's okay to feel good and proud of yourself. It's okay to
54:38
celebrate yourself because you should. You know, those changes matter not only for
54:43
you but for everybody around you, and so celebrate them. How fun with
54:45
those changes, you know, and as you start to warm up with that,
54:49
you're going to find that it just starts to happen more and more without
54:52
even really thinking about it. That's what I love about it. That's what
54:54
I love about change is when you put so much effort out into it and
54:59
then you're like, wow, wait a second, that was that was a
55:00
little hard there, and like a little easier, Like it's a little easier,
55:04
yes, yeah, exactly, that's a good way to leave us today.
55:08
And the last little part, like, I know we've talked a bit
55:12
about change here, Lindsay, and I got to say, you know,
55:15
there's three questions that I like to just leave everybody with. So the first
55:19
question is can I do this? Can I actually do the change? Can
55:22
I get healthy? As that fifteen year old boy right like, can I
55:24
get healthy? Well you start. What this does is it shines a big
55:29
spotlight on where you might have gaps and knowledge but also gaps in your perspective
55:36
of self. You know, it's going to identify those right into the gate.
55:38
But we have to work through it to get to a place where we
55:40
can say, hell, yeah, I can do this. You know,
55:44
I might not know how to do it, but I know I can do
55:45
this. You know, because once you start to learn and you start to
55:50
grow and you start to change, you realize, okay, this is just
55:52
the process I can fall. You know, once you've got a yes to
55:55
that, when you have to ask yourself question too, if I do this
56:00
will it actually work? Right? Exactly? I don't know how many people
56:06
I talk to and have spoken to in the last thirty years being in the
56:08
fitness industry, you know that are like, you know, I've tried that
56:13
diet before and then or I'm like, what what do you mean? Well,
56:15
you know, did it not work? Or do you not work it?
56:17
You know, like it's like, which is the witch here? Right?
56:21
Like? Oh, but it's true, right, like did you truly
56:24
follow through on this? Now? Question three? Is it worth it?
56:31
But here's the thing, And Lindsey, you've gotten to this point already,
56:35
and so have I at my various stages. But we have to look in
56:37
the mirror and say am I worth it? And that's not always easy to
56:40
answer. And if you can't, you know, answer that question wholly and
56:45
with ultimate confidence that yeah, I'm worth it, you know, because it
56:49
applies that again, self perspective, self love, even that self actualized version
56:53
of us. Are we truly leaning into that place for us to be the
56:55
best version of us? Sometimes we've been beat up so bad and that was
57:00
so much hardship, so many challenges. We're just like, I don't even
57:02
know if I'm worth it? Anymore, you know, But those three questions,
57:06
I don't care what kind of change you have to navigate. Those questions
57:08
were very introspective but also very deliberate in how they can help you identify the
57:14
next steps. And then it's just a matter of taking the steps. I
57:16
guess it done nothing fancy here. Actually, you just got to do the
57:21
work. You know, man, you blew it. It was nice talking
57:23
to you, do you know what I mean? Right? I I'm so
57:29
easy to say you want to do all of these things and you have intention
57:31
to do it. Then then you don't do the work and you're like,
57:32
well, I wonder why that didn't work out. You're like, you didn't
57:36
do anything about it, and then we can't and we get upset at ourselves
57:39
because we didn't see any results. But then if you actually say, well
57:43
did I track Actually how many times I went to the gym? Oh jeesh?
57:45
I went once in the last three weeks. Well, I guess it's
57:47
not really that program. It didn't work. I just didn't go and work,
57:51
you know, like it just it has seen those gaps in ourselves,
57:54
those accountability gaps and integrity gaps, and I know it's not easy because it's
57:59
not easy to say, yeah, you know what, I'm lying to myself,
58:02
But it's okay to acknowledge that you are and you don't have to accept
58:06
it. You can start to change it, you know. And I laugh
58:09
at change because I think change is hard. Okay, it is, it
58:13
just is, but it's not impossible. And once you get started on that
58:17
path, like Linda, you're a wonderful example of this, Like things get
58:22
better, you know, and they dip a little bit and you're like,
58:24
WHOA, I wasn't expecting that slip slide down there. And then you're like,
58:28
WHOA, Okay, why did I just slide? And then you figure
58:32
that out and then you kind of climb back up again and see if you
58:35
get higher before you have to slide back down. But through that you learn,
58:37
and you learn about yourself and you learn about your worth, and you
58:40
also learn about who's most important in your life and who did And I can
58:45
tell you I've made my group of friends and family and the people that love
58:47
and support me is a wonderful, small knit group of people. I call
58:52
it my personal board of directors. I love that. I love that.
58:55
Yeah, you can lift it if you want to. I wanted to keep
59:00
people around me that we're just that, that we're going to be like what,
59:02
I don't care how gross do you look like in the morning when you
59:06
wake up. I still love you. You know, people that will always
59:08
be there for you in your life. And I think that that's very important.
59:12
And I'm glad to have met you because you're a real forces. H
59:15
Well, like I said earlier, you know, I'm just dished back what
59:17
you already dished so and it's been absolutely wonderful. But also I just just
59:23
before we go our separate ways, I just got to say, and I
59:27
wantedone to really take note of this is you know, I've had lots of
59:30
great conversations in my life, but you know, our first connection, I
59:34
was like, holy, here's a dynamo. But that more importantly, it
59:37
is on a mission, yes, you know, and it's a clear mission,
59:42
and you're inviting all of us to not only observe, but also participate
59:46
and come along for it and empower ourselves. And I just want to say
59:51
thank you because I know it takes a lot of time, a lot of
59:52
energy, a lot of resources to constantly putting out what you're putting out and
59:57
I just want to say thank you, you know, like it's nice have
1:00:00
an example of what's possible. Yeah, well, thank you so making me
1:00:04
tear up right now. This is the labor of my love, that is
1:00:07
for sure. And yes I am. I am on a mission to give
1:00:09
my pain purpose and by doing so, for sure, if I help one
1:00:14
damn person, then it's going to be a million more, you know.
1:00:16
Oh yeah, I know helped me. So thank you. Thank you so
1:00:21
much for your time with us today. It's been I mean, we've I
1:00:22
can't believe how long we've been talking already. I'm like, oh my god,
1:00:27
that flew by. We didn't think we were going to have problems with
1:00:30
talking. So where can we find you online? So we can I can
1:00:35
have all of these beautiful people look at your beautiful face and look more into
1:00:37
what you do and what you're all about. Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn
1:00:42
are the three platforms I'm most active on, and I always just say just
1:00:45
trow me a noe, say hey, I heard you and lindsay talking about
1:00:49
change. This is what I'm working on changing. I love to hear people's
1:00:52
change stories or what they're working towards. I just that gets me really excited.
1:00:54
I love hearing about what's working for people, what's not, and maybe
1:00:58
even have an option to help them. So reach out to me on those
1:01:00
It's just Diamond Well and if you're looking for some free resources just to help
1:01:04
you with navigating life. I've got so much content on the website. I'm
1:01:08
an og when it comes to blogging. Those people in there, oh your
1:01:12
original gangs, No, old guy, old guy. Okay, I've been
1:01:15
blogging since two thousand and seven, a long time. Wow, eighteen hundred
1:01:20
articles on my website. Eighteen hundred that's a lot. I'm not going to
1:01:24
apologize for the rabbit hole, but enjoy it. But thank you again,
1:01:29
Lindsey. This has been absolutely wonderful, and I know it's hopefully the first
1:01:31
of many more conversations to happen yet. Oh my gosh, thank you so
1:01:36
very much. I've loved every moment being with you today. Thank you.
1:01:38
You are exclusively invited to share this empowering, harmonious and almost sugar free VIP
1:01:45
pain journey together. Let's get to the heart of how to heal with you
1:01:49
by my side and not unlike what I was talking about. Hey, if
1:01:52
you love anybody, that's living in and with chronic pain or has health issues.
1:01:55
Reach out to either of us slip into our dms. We will absolutely
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1:02:15
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