Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 56: fear is a portal from ego to soul ✨

Transcript

56: fear is a portal from ego to soul ✨ · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

• 0:00
  I am feeling so nervous today, my loves. So nervous. And it's so interesting how fear can be
• 0:08
  this portal between the ego and the soul in order to honor our souls. Sometimes what we are asked
• 0:15
  to dance with to surrender to is fear is embarrassment. The feeling of not being good enough
• 0:23
  perfectionism. Our soul is this place of wholeness within us. It doesn't ask of us to prove
• 0:31
  anything. It's this unconditional love within. And yet our egos, which I never want to vilify or demonize,
• 0:39
  they are also here for a reason. Everything in the cosmos exists as part of a unified whole.
• 0:45
  And our egos are here to protect us in the way that they know how, based on the traumas we've
• 0:51
  lived, based on the experiences we've had and the stories that have been calcified within us,
• 0:57
  hardened within us so much so that they feel like truth. They feel like reality. And this ego
• 1:04
  wants to protect us from the fear of being rejected by the collective, the fear of being
• 1:11
  embarrassed or annoying, or any of these socially demonized traits that you're not allowed to be
• 1:19
  humiliating. You're not allowed to take up space in certain ways. And so our ego is really part
• 1:25
  of this conditioned reality. And so I always feel when I'm doing my soul's work, when I'm speaking
• 1:30
  from that place of my heart being open to whatever comes up, when my soul is really leading me,
• 1:38
  that is when there is this ultimate surrender into the unknown of releasing that sense of protection
• 1:45
  and finding protection in something much more nourishing than the ego could ever provide me,
• 1:51
  something like unconditional love. You know, ultimately I feel like that is what our deepest
• 1:58
  selves are seeking. And the ego tells us we should seek that in things like success as defined by
• 2:05
  the society we live in, things like meeting certain milestones by certain ages, and these external
• 2:12
  forms of validation. But our souls, that eternal part of our being, they're so connected to
• 2:20
  unconditional love. And if you can allow yourself to find rituals, practices that connect you to
• 2:26
  unconditional love, that is your birthright, that is your truth, that is something a place a home
• 2:33
  to return to. That is so beautiful, my loves, and so precious. And something that I've been thinking
• 2:38
  about so much when it comes to perfectionism, and when it comes to the feeling and the fear that
• 2:45
  our creations, what we seek to bring forth through us are not good enough, is that every creation
• 2:51
  is an invitation into the amount, the texture, the flavor, the frequency, the depth of love that
• 2:58
  would allow it to be. Every creation is an invitation into the amount, the texture, the flavor,
• 3:06
  the frequency, the depth of love that would allow it to be. Every creation is asking you, will you
• 3:14
  love yourself enough to let this pass through your hands and your heart, will you love the collective
• 3:21
  enough to offer your gifts to us and allow us to delight in them, to not relegate what we seek
• 3:28
  to experience through you as purely judgment or criticism, will you see a higher possibility
• 3:34
  for us and through us? Will you love the divine enough, whatever you feel connected to,
• 3:42
  whatever is your universal wisdom or guidance or cosmic divinity on earth, whatever that may be
• 3:49
  for you, whether it is God, Allah, Spirit, Source, the universe is what really resonates for me, the
• 3:56
  cosmos, this idea of universal intelligence and love and wisdom, and this feeling of this warm
• 4:02
  blanket surrounding me, this life that is living me, this breath that is breathing me, so much is
• 4:08
  happening without my conscious control or decision making, and that really is the colonizer and the
• 4:15
  Western view, that control is this ultimate value and virtue that we should seek, self-control,
• 4:20
  control of others, control of reality, control of knowledge, and actually none of these things can
• 4:25
  truly be controlled, they are dynamic, they are flowing, and when we seek to control them,
• 4:32
  we bring them into our limited and our egoic understanding and need for control, and so it becomes
• 4:39
  a self-fulfilling prophecy, and so going back to the original point, when I'm speaking from my soul,
• 4:47
  I feel this feeling of leaning back into an unconditional love that holds me, and that I hold
• 4:56
  that sources me, that is me, and sometimes this comes through in the form of a mantra or a set of
• 5:07
  words that I repeat to myself, sometimes it comes in the form of a song that I sing to myself,
• 5:13
  and right before recording this episode, which I felt so nervous to do,
• 5:17
  had this song come through to me, and it went.
• 5:47
  There are words you are called to, they feel called to you,
• 5:57
  their only request of you is let them come through,
• 6:08
  my darling, my angel, you've nothing to prove, with love by your side, my love, you've nothing to lose.
• 6:31
  I'm so grateful for these words, I'm so grateful for the frequency of sound, of music that can speak to
• 6:45
  and through us, what a gift, and so I really believe you're being invited into your soul, into your
• 6:54
  heart, whatever that represents, to and through you, whatever that feels like, tap into that,
• 7:00
  and know that that is often going to come with some initial fear, with some resistance.
• 7:05
  I think that fear and embarrassment are these gateways into purpose and service and honoring that
• 7:14
  deeper truth, when you're willing to sit with fear and take the fear, surrender to it,
• 7:20
  on the other side of that is a beautiful and grounding experience, and like I feel this
• 7:27
  curve of oh I'm terrified I'm resisting to owe my word, I love it here, I'm in flow, I'm so proud
• 7:33
  of myself, and so it's almost like that feeling of deliciousness of alignment, it only rewards
• 7:40
  offers itself, it has standards and it offers itself to those who are willing to go through the
• 7:47
  portal of fear, of resistance, the feeling of not wanting to do something and then finding so much
• 7:55
  joy and pleasure in the doing of it. So that is the message that I wanted to share with you today,
• 8:00
  my love, I love you so much, you are so divine, so magical, so precious, and I will see you on
• 8:06
  the next sole session. My love, get a free creative activation when you sign up on my website
• 8:11
  iunderstood.com, this is not the same as my sub stack where you get a free ebook, this is where
• 8:17
  you get a free creative activation, which is my sole's deepest, most loving offering, truly I
• 8:23
  love this meditation album, it is for sale on my website and I love using these activations to
• 8:29
  get into the flow, the frequency of creation, of love, of a more settled nervous system tapping into
• 8:36
  the parasympathetic nervous system where all the wisdom and all the connection to love and
• 8:41
  soulfulness exists for us. And so I really encourage you to check this offering out and if it speaks to
• 8:47
  you, it is with you for life, the offering is delivered through a private podcast feed so you can
• 8:53
  download it, take it on a walk with you, listen to it lying down in a meditation before creation,
• 8:58
  that is what I do, whether it's writing or podcasting, anything where I know the fear is speaking
• 9:03
  to me, the resistance is speaking to me, it gets me into this juicy and loving energy, that feeling
• 9:08
  that whatever comes next, I'm worthy of creation, I'm worthy of trying and it's not about perfectionism,
• 9:14
  it's not about proving myself to someone else or even to myself, it just brings me back to my
• 9:19
  own magnificence and that is the intention behind this work, I would love for you to check it out
• 9:23
  and if you would like to get a free creative activation, once again visit iunderstood.com