Latest / None of Your Business Podcast / Pain Parenting and Purpose with Danielle Jacobs

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Pain Parenting and Purpose with Danielle Jacobs · None of Your Business Podcast

• 0:00
  Believe it or not, around 50% of the listeners don't watch video.
• 0:03
  Oh, they just hear. Yeah, it's well, my listeners
• 0:06
  will be watching. OK, your.
• 0:09
  Listeners. My listeners.
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  Or your listeners. You know my my my insta fans.
• 0:13
  Oh, your insta? Fans OK, so Instagram's your
• 0:15
  thing. Right.
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  Yeah, yeah. OK, status has been my thing.
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  That's right. Ready to just enter the status?
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  World, I just entered the status World.
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  I'm so late. It's OK.
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  It's fine. It's better late than never.
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  Your experience? Yes.
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  And it's like weird because I think it's people that I know or
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  people from the past or just like a whole world that I
• 0:33
  haven't like touched. And I keep thinking everyone's
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  on Instagram, but it's not true. A lot of people aren't.
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  So yeah, it's been interesting. I've had like comments from my
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  like, profile stuff. I was like, oh, OK.
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  What about people that like you haven't seen in 10 years?
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  And I don't want this person responding.
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  Right. So that's why I think the whole
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  thing also was a bit like, should I do this?
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  But you know what? Yeah, whatever.
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  It's fine, right? There's nothing bad.
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  Like it's not, it's a good thing, you know, it's just, it's
• 1:03
  just waking everyone up to Remember Me.
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  And what's bad about that? Absolutely nothing.
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  So we're going to start by welcoming back everybody to the
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  None of Your Business podcast. I'm your host, Michael
• 1:13
  Greenfield. Thank you for subscribing, for
• 1:16
  being a part of our journey. We're getting vulnerable, we're
• 1:19
  growing, and we're going deep in discussions of life and people
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  and just really exploring the people in our world.
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  And today, Danielle, you are part of our world.
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  Welcome to the program. Danielle Jacobs, thank you.
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  So excited to have you here. I'm excited to be here.
• 1:35
  As I said, it's my first podcast live.
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  Good so this is good we're getting comfortable so we're
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  actually in our Florida studio. I'm calling it a Florida studio
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  because I discovered this amazing place here that they
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  just have like multiple rooms and.
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  Yeah, it's unbelievable. It's a business.
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  It's gorgeous. Yeah, yeah.
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  And he already got the None of Your Business podcast in the
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  background, so. Apparently I'm allowed to use
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  once throughout these this podcast.
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  Tell us about your followers. Tell us about the experiences
• 2:02
  that you've had with people. Have you ever had any
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  challenges? With any followers or people
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  that like you? Not really.
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  OK, I was hoping for another person.
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  No, I'm not using it yet, OK? No, no, no.
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  I'm a smart one. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, you know,
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  take my time on it. OK, I haven't.
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  Had anything? Well, I've had a little bit of
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  interesting stuff, but nothing crazy.
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  Like what's interesting? Let's get your gauge of
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  interesting. I've had quite a bit, actually,
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  but one specific I had, I was like 11 PM, 11:30 PM, and I get
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  a phone call on FaceTime. So I thought it was my daughter
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  for some reason. I don't know why.
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  I just automatically thought it was her.
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  I'm like in my pajamas. My hair is a mess and I'm just
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  like laying there and I'm like, hey.
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  And there was like, at least seven adult women.
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  Oh, OK. And they're like, Oh my God, we
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  love you. And I'm like, what is happening?
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  Like this is so creepy. So it wasn't as bad.
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  I thought you're going to say it was 7 adults?
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  No, I've had other, you know, but none of your business.
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  I didn't say it. OK, you are smart.
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  I told you one of the reasons why I was so excited to have you
• 3:13
  here is because my exposure to your comedy was years ago.
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  It was. We don't talk about how long ago
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  it was. Right.
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  No, we did. Right.
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  But so my exposure was just laughing and getting
• 3:25
  entertained. But what I've recognized with
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  you over the past several years is that you're making an impact
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  on the world from the point of being Jewish, which is such a
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  really like important discussion for me these days.
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  And also more importantly to me, and the reason why I really like
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  you don't want to break down this, you know, who you are is
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  as a mother and a successful one too in terms of you know, of
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  course, you're the mother of you feel and you know me and he's
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  been doing great things. And you know, I met him at A at
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  the same event that I met you actually at the festival
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  weekend. And I met him by happy stance.
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  I don't know if you know this. I met him on the IT was on the
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  water. Did I say the word properly?
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  But. I don't know.
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  I'm not. That's.
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  Very fancy word. I don't think I've ever heard it
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  before, but yes. So I met him at the water.
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  We were just both zenning out. He was on one side of the
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  bridge, I was on the other. And we're chilling.
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  I'm like, hey, what's up? What's your name?
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  And he? You have to ask him.
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  Exactly. It took him a second.
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  He's like, I feel Jacobs, I'm like, oh, you're going to feel
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  nice. So that was nice because just
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  putting that together. So so I really just kudos to
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  you. He's just a Mensch.
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  He's a really, really solid guy. I mean, he's.
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  Thank God. And I've always loved Sebastian.
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  So like, you know, watching him and watching him do his thing.
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  So he's really nice. But really just what excited me
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  was just I was watching you at that weekend.
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  Also just connecting. You're a major connector.
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  You're a person that loves to just smile and be vibrant and
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  good energy. And when you infuse Judaism and
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  God along with comedy and you know, nature nurture and get
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  that whole thing, you're just someone that like, wow, that was
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  cool. And then I saw you and then I
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  started like hearing a little bit more about you.
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  And then recently when I saw you on the status, I'm like, Oh my
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  God, I got now I got to have you.
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  So that was really like, well. So that's what brought me.
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  That was the main. Kind of like.
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  Yeah, it clicked. Oh, OK, so like.
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  Back then, I was like, oh, you feel I should have you and your
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  mom and we should do a podcast. It would be nice.
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  But like, honestly, I like learning about parenting.
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  I like learning about, you know, being vigilant and independent
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  and, you know, just how it is that a person, you know, goes
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  through those challenges and everyone has a story to tell in
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  their background. There's so much to learn from.
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  So you're someone that I humbly will say I look up to.
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  I see you as a person that you know.
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  Are you sure you've got that on the phone?
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  I just want. Everyone to know, you know,
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  you're bringing light to the world and you're doing it in a
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  very, very positive way. And that's really what it is.
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  So I'd love to just break down for a second, if you don't mind,
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  then just asking you like, who the heck are you?
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  Where you from, where you grow up?
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  Just give me a little bit of the background, parents,
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  grandparents, siblings. Just tell me what you can tell
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  me about growing up. Some of the that I guess defined
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  who you are today, you know, in terms of that world, if you can.
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  OK, so I was born in Australia, No Melbourne, Australia mate.
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  Wow, yes. So was my dad, by the way.
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  Really. Yes.
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  No way Tilly was born. No way it's Melbourne.
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  Melbourne. Wow, we're both saying it.
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  Wrong. I'm not saying it wrong.
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  It's the one word I keep. I still say right.
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  Say it again. Melbourne, Australia.
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  All right, you're good. Crikey down at that.
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  Would you like a beer? Yes, mates actually can.
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  We have like coffee and water. So that's where I was born.
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  My dad is from Poland originally and you see the accent just
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  comes when I start. I'm not sure if I'm a chameleon
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  or schizophrenic, but neither one.
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  They both work. So he was, he's from Poland, his
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  parents are Holocaust survivors and they moved right after to
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  Australia and he, so basically he grew up there and then he
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  didn't know he was Jewish till much later on in life.
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  I don't know exactly when, but apparently his grandmother told
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  him at one point his parents didn't want him to know because
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  of what they went through in the Holocaust and and then he
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  decided he wanted to come to Israel.
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  I think he went on Birthright when he was about 20.
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  And he met my mom. My mom's Israeli.
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  She grew up in Israel, born in Israel.
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  My grandparents were both born in Israel.
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  My great grandmother was born in Israel.
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  So we have quite, you know, a lot of roots in Israel, but
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  originally they're from Spain, which in Hebrews fadim tolium
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  like the real deal. But then they were, they went to
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  like Syria and Turkey. So I have like the Mediterranean
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  side from my mom's side. And then I have the, you know,
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  Polish blue eyed situation, not blue eyes by me, but my dad from
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  my, you know, from my dad's side.
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  So I'm half, half, half Ashkenaz, half smart.
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  So I feel like coming out of everybody.
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  Right, right, right. That gives you the.
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  License. Right to do.
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  Whatever you want. At any time.
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  OK, cool. So you were born in Australia?
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  Yeah. Keep going.
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  And then so we moved a lot. So it's, it's a, it's a long
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  story, but I'll, I'll try to, I'll try to.
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  The highlights of what affected you as you grew.
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  Up what affected? You were, yeah.
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  Like you know you were in. Australia, everything affected
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  me because there was just a lot going on.
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  So my, my, my family's lifestyle affected me.
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  We moved a lot, as I said. So from Australia, we went to
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  Israel when I was about 3. My brother was born there.
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  Then we went back to Australia. So I was in Australia till I was
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  about 8-9 years old. We weren't religious.
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  I went to acting and dancing school.
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  Yeah, no way. So I started as A at a very
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  young age. Yeah.
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  Wow. My mom said that already in in
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  her stomach. Every time we would pass like
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  Spanish music or something, I'd like hit it to the beat.
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  That was an entertainer and a performer since I'm, I guess, in
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  the moon. Do you remember that first time
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  when you got on stage? Like is that a memory that you
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  have? I do remember actually, I was
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  very young. I was I was tiny.
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  We did like a like a show, like kind of like a Broadway.
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  I even remember the song I sang. It was really cute.
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  What was it? T for two and two for T me for
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  you and you for me. Something like that.
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  The rest I don't remember. I love that because I have
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  daughters that are part of play and it is a production, as it's
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  called. Yeah.
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  It's such a big part of their school year.
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  Yeah, and it's so important. So later on in life it became a
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  big part of my school year because basically I lived in
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  Australia. We at 8 years old, my parents
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  decided we're going to move to Israel again.
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  And then they became religious. So we moved to Harnof.
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  They became religious. What was your name?
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  I'm sorry. OK, So it's Danielle.
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  OK. Why do you ask that?
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  I'm because I'm curious like family wise, like what names you
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  have, what names you carry and what names they called you.
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  Question because, you know, my name is Danielle, but why would
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  you ask? Like because you think there's
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  another name? Yeah, I'm just always curious.
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  Because there is. Oh, but it comes later on.
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  Oh yeah. Do tell.
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  I'm about to So basically we we came from Australia, we moved to
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  Israel. Hernov My parents became very,
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  very religious. My father became an amshen of a
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  hassid. Do you know that of?
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  Course you do. Yes, Tuesday night of Dallah.
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  Very good, but do you know why he does Tuesday night of Dallah?
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  No, because. I'll tell you why.
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  I bet that it's hard to get candles and Hernov.
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  No, but so close apparently. Whoever is in Gehennam, which is
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  hell, any Jews that are there gets a break on Shabbos, OK, and
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  then the last Jew to make hafdallah, that's when they go
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  back to whatever it is they have to go through.
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  So he's like the protector? Of so the last time you can make
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  Hafdallah is Tuesday night so that I'm should have Rabbit took
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  it upon himself to to keep shops till Tuesday and that's the
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  reason. I actually witnessed his
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  Abdullah Tuesday night. You did.
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  Yeah, I don't think I ever did. And I lived near him.
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  Wow. It was something very special.
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  Yeah. I didn't know the reason.
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  Thank you for sharing that. That's really, really cool.
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  I mean, so I'm good till Tuesday night.
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  You're. Saying you're, I don't know
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  about you, but but yeah, he has major squiots for that.
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  I mean, if you know that's the reason so.
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  So much of your personality is being exposed by knowing so much
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  of this. I love it.
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  I love it. So yeah, because you know,
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  Australia, Israel option of keep going.
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  Keep going. OK, So first of all, when we
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  moved to Harnoff, I got a major culture shock.
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  But they didn't know what happened because I got very
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  sick. I had fever a lot.
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  I was constantly taken for blood tests and nobody found out what
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  it was. So my father meant these rabbis.
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  I don't know who exactly. I don't remember all the names.
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  There was one named a Rabbi Weber from Masharim.
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  I kind of remember him a little bit.
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  So I think he's the one that said to add a name to me so I
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  can have her for Shalima. And they made a minion.
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  They asked me what I wanted and I said Rifka.
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  So correct. But I'm known as Rifka.
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  In high school, I went just as Rifka because then when my
• 12:26
  parents became religious, I think the whole Danielle was too
• 12:29
  unreligious. So they called me Rifka from
• 12:32
  like, Bite for this, from when we moved from Harnov to Bite for
• 12:35
  Gun. And then they started to call me
• 12:37
  Rifka. That's amazing.
• 12:39
  Yeah. So you were Rifka for how long?
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  A long time till after I got married and had kids.
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  And then I decided I just want to go back to my original name
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  because I felt that that was the most rooting for me with all my
• 12:50
  changes in my life. I just felt like I was living
• 12:53
  for everyone and I needed to just feel like, no, this is even
• 12:57
  though I chose the name Rifka, but it still wasn't
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  authentically mine from birth, you know?
• 13:02
  So yeah, we lived in Baifugon for about four years at the
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  time. It was my brother and I, and
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  then my mom had two more kids then, so there was a 10 year gap
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  between me and my next sibling after my brother was just two
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  years younger than me, and then another year and a half was my
• 13:20
  sister. So we lived there for about four
• 13:23
  years, quite intense, and then we moved to Bar Park.
• 13:29
  From Bite for Gun, Yeah, Wow. So another culture shock.
• 13:33
  Another personality coming out of you.
• 13:34
  Like, yeah, yeah. Are.
• 13:37
  You telling your listeners that I'm actually schizophrenic?
• 13:41
  Another personality arrives. You know, look, you know,
• 13:43
  there's always two ways of looking at things.
• 13:45
  I look at it as cultured. You're very cultured when you
• 13:47
  get to travel and you get to experience things.
• 13:50
  Not many people have the advantage of having that, even
• 13:53
  though it comes with challenges. But there's such an advantage of
• 13:56
  being able to grow up in an environment where you're
• 13:57
  speaking multiple languages and you're seeing multiple different
• 14:00
  types of religions and different types of, you know, what's
• 14:02
  authentic, what's not. So you have that.
• 14:05
  That's what that's what I'm thinking.
• 14:06
  About yeah, yeah, I know. I love it.
• 14:07
  Positive thinking, you know, also I am, it's true.
• 14:10
  Like that's, that's what I feel that made me who I am for sure.
• 14:13
  I'm going through so many different changes, so many
• 14:16
  different experiences. Not easy ones.
• 14:19
  Just to go back a little bit. My parents got divorced when I
• 14:22
  was very young about I think it was 6 or 7 for a very short
• 14:26
  amount of time. And then they got remarried.
• 14:28
  Stop it. Yeah, that's one of the biggest
• 14:30
  mitzvahs. That's what I just learned.
• 14:36
  OK. That's hilarious.
• 14:38
  What a response. I I'm just saying.
• 14:40
  Well, you'll hear my story and you'll see my why my response?
• 14:46
  OK, I'll, I'm just saying, it's just funny because it happens to
• 14:49
  be that I have a friend of mine that he just did that.
• 14:52
  Really. Yeah.
• 14:52
  He got remarried to his wife, and one of the things that a
• 14:56
  rabbi was sitting next to, I was like, oh, it's a big bit.
• 14:58
  Smart it is. I know.
• 14:59
  I was like, oh cool, it is. Yeah, it's apparently it is from
• 15:03
  that second marriage of their theirs.
• 15:06
  They had my other two siblings I was talking about.
• 15:10
  And then, yeah, so we moved a lot because also financially you
• 15:13
  just was very difficult. My father had a very, very
• 15:18
  difficult childhood, which unfortunately was passed on.
• 15:24
  So it was really difficult at home.
• 15:25
  They didn't get along, my parents.
• 15:27
  So it was, it was a very, very tough, like a very tough
• 15:30
  childhood. Of course we had great moments,
• 15:32
  you know, but it wasn't, it wasn't an easy ride.
• 15:36
  So yeah, there was a lot of moving and the moving kind of
• 15:39
  makes you have to adjust again and again and again.
• 15:44
  And every time you get used to something, something else is
• 15:46
  thrown at you and then you have to adjust again.
• 15:49
  It's just it's a lot. It's a lot to to take as a child
• 15:53
  and being the oldest always, you know, you get the brunt of the
• 15:58
  younger siblings to take care of.
• 15:59
  And it's almost like sometimes I felt like I was, you know, the
• 16:05
  caretaker rather than being taken care of.
• 16:08
  So it was tough. But as a child, I was just very
• 16:12
  positive and I kind of knew that this is my life and, and I just
• 16:18
  kept going. Looking back now, I think I was
• 16:20
  in survival mode for a very, very, very long time.
• 16:23
  It was just the next thing just to keep the peace in the house.
• 16:26
  The next thing, the next thing you know, it's going to be good.
• 16:28
  And being in school and with friends and stuff, that was
• 16:32
  really good for me as a performer and as a very social
• 16:35
  person. I love people.
• 16:36
  I love to laugh, I love to have a good time.
• 16:38
  I love to party. So it was, you know, it was fun.
• 16:42
  I love to perform. So when we moved to Bar Park, I
• 16:46
  was in high school and and that's when we had our plays.
• 16:51
  I went to Mahone. Mahone.
• 16:53
  I did, you know Mahone? What do you know Mahone?
• 16:56
  I probably met you at the Coaster pizza shops in bar.
• 16:58
  I didn't talk to boys. Yeah.
• 17:00
  Even if you did meet me, I you. Were in the back for sure.
• 17:04
  That's where the pay phones were.
• 17:05
  That's where we all were. Yeah, no, I actually never spoke
• 17:08
  to boys. Never spoke to boys.
• 17:10
  Was that something that you were told is a big no no?
• 17:13
  Yeah. And you listened.
• 17:14
  I I was such a good girl. Dang, I wish I wasn't such a
• 17:20
  good. Girl, well, I have a question,
• 17:21
  you know about this exact topic. You know, there's so much to
• 17:26
  learn from from your experiences.
• 17:28
  If you don't mind me trying to break down some of.
• 17:30
  It you do, that's why we're here.
• 17:31
  Was that your grandmother? I think your first exposure to
• 17:33
  status. Yeah.
• 17:35
  Was with your. Was it your grant?
• 17:36
  Who was it with that? You were, you were sitting down
• 17:39
  next to an older woman and you were my grandmother.
• 17:41
  That was your grandmother. Probably.
• 17:42
  The cutest woman in the world. She is the cutest woman in the
• 17:44
  world. Oh my.
• 17:45
  God. Yeah, that's where I get my
• 17:47
  cuteness from. That's pretty nice because she's
• 17:49
  so adorable. She is.
• 17:50
  That back and forth that you had with her was precious.
• 17:52
  She is she's, she's an amazing person, but that's also.
• 17:56
  Really is again, compliments to you.
• 17:58
  You know how to bring out the best in situations like you're
• 18:00
  coming into. You went into a war zone.
• 18:04
  Yeah, but I didn't mean to go into a war zone.
• 18:07
  As a matter of fact, I'm terrified of anything war, which
• 18:10
  a lot of us are. I'm not saying not, but I had
• 18:12
  this terrible fear, like I don't want to be anywhere near even
• 18:16
  like like a siren, like nothing even remotely close I had.
• 18:19
  My nervous system can't take it. I've been through too much.
• 18:22
  I don't want that as well. And honestly, I've never been in
• 18:25
  any, even though I lived in Israel and I've never been there
• 18:29
  during a war. For some reason, it just never
• 18:31
  worked that I would be there during a war, which is a
• 18:34
  blessing to me. But this time it was also a
• 18:38
  blessing because I had to face my fear and I actually went for
• 18:42
  a friend's daughter's wedding and I ended up, I don't want to
• 18:45
  see getting stuck there because we we don't get stuck in Israel.
• 18:48
  That was good, right? Like it?
• 18:50
  Cheers to that. Cheers to time but I did end up
• 18:56
  having to stay for like 3 weeks. So that was the beginning of the
• 18:59
  Iran. Yeah, it it, it broke on Shabbos
• 19:03
  and I was actually at a friend for Shabbat with my daughter
• 19:05
  because my daughter lives in Israel.
• 19:07
  Oh, nice. And all of a sudden there were
• 19:09
  like sirens and we were in the MC CLAT room and my daughter's
• 19:14
  like, Nah, that was a siren, like very softly and cutely.
• 19:17
  And I'm like, what? She's like, we have to stay in
• 19:22
  this room now. I'm like, what are you talking
• 19:23
  about? Like I was like, Nah, I'm flying
• 19:25
  tonight. What do you mean?
• 19:26
  I'm flying back home at the shop is no, no, this is not.
• 19:30
  Yeah, it was. And then from then, you know, we
• 19:32
  had so many incidents driving and also have to stop and run
• 19:35
  under into shelters and it was really intense.
• 19:39
  It was really intense. But also it was so special to be
• 19:44
  with everyone that I don't people you don't even know.
• 19:48
  Like you're, you're you're running in middle of the street
• 19:51
  and all of a sudden everybody has to go into one place
• 19:54
  together and you just have to stay there together until it
• 19:57
  stops. And like you're just with
• 19:59
  people, like complete strangers that are all part of this
• 20:01
  together. So there was a very united
• 20:04
  feeling, even though it was such a sad thing.
• 20:06
  It's just. Scary thing, especially for
• 20:09
  children. It's really, it's really
• 20:12
  unbelievable. And I know we're kind of
• 20:14
  getting. We'll track the bar parks.
• 20:16
  Yeah, I'm very good at that. Don't worry about.
• 20:17
  It OK, I feel so I feel very strongly that you know, all the
• 20:26
  all the sirens and all these things that were happening so
• 20:29
  much of the time in middle of the night a lot, right.
• 20:32
  So what do parents have to do? They have to get up.
• 20:35
  They have to wake their kids up. They have to bring them down to
• 20:37
  the McCloud. They have to go back up, then
• 20:38
  they have to go again. It's just very traumatizing that
• 20:42
  alone, forget the horrible things that happened, but just
• 20:46
  that alone is going to need years of therapy, years of
• 20:51
  therapy because to be, I don't know how you feel, but when I'm
• 20:55
  sleeping and I'm woken up in a shock, it's like the scariest
• 20:59
  thing. So imagine that every night
• 21:01
  again and again and again. It's just, I was just thinking
• 21:05
  like how how difficult that is for children and also and also
• 21:09
  adults, young adults, all adults, like adults that have to
• 21:12
  take their kids and are terrified.
• 21:13
  It's just, it's a very, it's a very scary thing.
• 21:17
  It's a very scary thing. It's not spoken about a lot
• 21:19
  because we kind of just focus on thank God no one was killed or
• 21:23
  only five people were injured. But what about the trauma behind
• 21:27
  it? What about waking up from your
• 21:30
  slumber, You know, 4 * a night to run to a shelter to hope that
• 21:36
  it doesn't hit you. You know what I mean?
• 21:38
  Like, I remember being in the shelter and just, like, your
• 21:41
  body kind of freezes and you're like, you hear the siren and
• 21:44
  then you're like, it's like this moment of like, is it going to
• 21:48
  hit? Is it not?
• 21:49
  And then I heard a few times, like, it's like, it's surreal.
• 21:53
  Wow. Yeah.
• 21:55
  There's so many things I'm thinking about when you're
• 21:57
  talking about it, and I appreciate you leading the
• 22:00
  conversation to this. You know the unfortunately there
• 22:05
  are boys and girls in yeshiva and school that think it's a
• 22:08
  joke and and they're out. There now in.
• 22:12
  Videos and they're laughing at the missiles.
• 22:16
  You maybe you haven't seen those videos.
• 22:17
  I have, of course. I've seen many.
• 22:18
  Men, you know what I'm talking about, but I'm saying, so it's a
• 22:20
  minority. It's a minority, but it's scary
• 22:23
  to me so. I sorry that I'm cutting you
• 22:25
  off, but I, I will say it's a survival mechanism.
• 22:29
  And sometimes you're not even like you don't even understand
• 22:32
  that it's happening like it's happening and you're like, whoa,
• 22:35
  it's Oh my gosh. Because what are you going to
• 22:38
  do? You either can be terrified and
• 22:40
  close yourself up or you can be like, it's OK, like, OK,
• 22:44
  nothing's happening. It's fine.
• 22:45
  You don't get it until it actually might hit or or not,
• 22:50
  But it's everyone has their way of coping.
• 22:52
  It's not because everyone's having just the best time ever.
• 22:55
  It's not the best time ever. It's it's a, it's a crazy
• 22:58
  experience. So children take it in one way,
• 23:02
  adults take it in another. Kids who are like partying with
• 23:05
  each other, you know, first of all, peer pressure.
• 23:07
  And just like instead of going into the MCLAT, they're like,
• 23:11
  oh, let's go outside and see because it's cool.
• 23:13
  You have that element of like, like feel the fear and do it
• 23:16
  anyway. Or just being kids, teenagers
• 23:21
  who do stupid things in general. Excellent perspective.
• 23:24
  I like. That I don't think it's coming
• 23:26
  from a bad way place or coming from like, oh, I don't think
• 23:30
  this is a big deal or anything like that.
• 23:32
  It's just coping. That's a great way of looking at
• 23:35
  it. And, and I'm just curious, you
• 23:36
  know, the baby appeal is sitting in his bed and he's nine years
• 23:42
  old and you're in Israel and you have to wake him up for the
• 23:44
  first time. How do you recommend based on
• 23:47
  your experience and what you come through and what you see in
• 23:49
  and you know all this that you're saying?
• 23:51
  I really like your perspective. You mean in a war?
• 23:53
  Let's imagine for a second that you had to wake him up and you
• 23:56
  have to think about the fact that, OK, I know that now my
• 23:59
  world and my children are going to have to go through therapy to
• 24:02
  deal with what's about to happen.
• 24:03
  So how do you channel that? How do you address it from the
• 24:07
  SEC? You, you have an opportunity now
• 24:08
  you're waking your kid up for the first time or he didn't know
• 24:11
  about it. How do you address it to
• 24:12
  children? What do you actually tell?
• 24:13
  What do you think is a good idea as a mother to tell to children?
• 24:17
  Because I get this question a lot.
• 24:19
  And people that live in Israel as Americans, they've made
• 24:22
  aliyah. Imagine you're excited to make
• 24:23
  aliyah and you're looking forward for it for two years.
• 24:26
  And you come at the cusp of the highest, you know, sensitive war
• 24:29
  going on and it's challenging, you know, more than anything.
• 24:32
  And you don't even have him a clot because you didn't think
• 24:35
  about it. And now you have to go
• 24:36
  downstairs and correct. So I'm I'm curious as a mother
• 24:40
  and I'm sure there's a lot of people listening or curious to
• 24:42
  their effect. How do we communicate?
• 24:44
  How do we, you know, like there's always discussions of
• 24:46
  preventative, you know, things like let's not deal with teens
• 24:49
  at risk. Let's go to the schools and
• 24:51
  figure out what the challenges are and deal with therapy in
• 24:52
  advance or you know, so knowing that there's ongoing wars in
• 24:56
  Israel, it's happening, it's the reality.
• 24:58
  This is just, you know, Israelis know it, Israelis that I speak
• 25:01
  to, they're like, it's almost like living in Haiti.
• 25:03
  It's like, you know, you know, there's going to be disasters of
• 25:05
  earthquakes, etcetera. And that's you, you learn to
• 25:07
  live with it, so to speak. I think it's the Americans
• 25:10
  mostly that are affected so much.
• 25:12
  Maybe I'm off, maybe it's also Israelis, but their culture is
• 25:16
  it's in their DNA for Americans that are all moving, you know,
• 25:19
  the Nephesh by Nephesh planes that you're seeing and all these
• 25:21
  things. So what would you say as a
• 25:23
  mother? Like how do you tell that 9 year
• 25:25
  old? And that's why I was asking,
• 25:26
  would you tell baby you feel like okay, listen, Like how?
• 25:29
  Like what? Okay, so I have to be very
• 25:31
  honest, I can't fully put myself there because I haven't had that
• 25:35
  experience, okay, So I think it's even unfair for me to give
• 25:39
  a device on something that. Don't give.
• 25:41
  Advice. I mean, I, I don't know what I
• 25:44
  would say. I don't know because I, I
• 25:46
  haven't been put in that in that type of situation with my own
• 25:49
  children. I see, OK, do you know what I
• 25:51
  mean? But I think that I would think
• 25:55
  that it's best to do it first of all, without panic.
• 25:59
  Like have your moment to just take a deep breath and then, OK,
• 26:03
  sweetie, we're going to the MC lot.
• 26:04
  No, but you know, no big deal. Or arrange it in a way that
• 26:06
  they're already there. Like however you can that their
• 26:10
  room is the MC lot so that you don't have to wake them up.
• 26:13
  You wake up and go there as opposed to you having to wake
• 26:16
  them up. Now, if it's downstairs, it's
• 26:17
  downstairs. There's nothing you can do about
• 26:19
  it. And I know a lot of people
• 26:20
  experience that. My daughter lives in Tel Aviv
• 26:23
  and she doesn't have a MC lot. She has to wake up, go
• 26:26
  downstairs across the street and go down into the parking lot.
• 26:31
  That's what she has to do every time it happens.
• 26:33
  So the amount of sleep that she needs to catch on to is
• 26:37
  ridiculous. So I just think that to do it in
• 26:41
  the calmest way for the children is obviously the best way to
• 26:45
  make like to have games there, to put music on, to do something
• 26:50
  that is calming, maybe calming music or relaxation while it's
• 26:54
  going on. Because you don't have to sit
• 26:56
  there in that panicky feeling and wait, that's I think the
• 27:00
  trauma of this just to be like, oh, and then we're release and
• 27:05
  go. So in order to release that,
• 27:08
  it's like a Rifu Alamaka, right? Just kind of do something a
• 27:11
  little bit calming before so that you ease into it.
• 27:15
  Rifu Alamaka is the healing for. The Rifu Alamaka is like the
• 27:19
  healing to to the pain to the smack.
• 27:23
  Was that the Israeli side of you that knew that?
• 27:24
  Like what would? You know, I don't know.
• 27:27
  I don't. I don't.
• 27:30
  What do you remember these types of lines?
• 27:32
  I don't. I think I'm just like a rabbits
• 27:36
  and at heart I don't. I mean, obviously I have stuff
• 27:40
  from school. Let's go back to Borrow Park.
• 27:42
  Yeah, let's go back so. Yeah, we're in Borough Park.
• 27:44
  You're. Coming in.
• 27:45
  This Israeli, Australian girl coming.
• 27:47
  In I'm an Aussie mate. Filled with production and yes.
• 27:50
  Energy so excited and thank. Them a hone.
• 27:53
  Correct. That's a watch out, girls.
• 27:55
  And I I had an Australian accent at the time.
• 27:58
  You did? Yeah.
• 27:59
  That's cute. My friends always used to laugh
• 28:01
  at me, but not in a bad way. Like, oh, my gosh.
• 28:04
  She just said clever. Oh, my gosh.
• 28:05
  She, you know, like that. Entertained.
• 28:07
  Yeah. It's funny.
• 28:08
  I was always like the little, the odd one out.
• 28:10
  I remember coming to school. I used to wear my little beret
• 28:12
  and a scarf. No way.
• 28:14
  Yeah. Who made you do that?
• 28:15
  No one. I liked it.
• 28:17
  It was like my own style really. Wow.
• 28:19
  Just in the beginning. Then I took it off later on and
• 28:23
  my friends were sweet. They came and bought it with me
• 28:25
  and like, do you? Have any, just curious
• 28:27
  sidetrack, do you have any friends today that were from
• 28:29
  like that time of your life? Yeah, really.
• 28:31
  That's very special. We went on and off in our, you
• 28:34
  know, sure, our journey, but I'm close to, yeah, my close
• 28:39
  friends. I'm still close to them somewhat
• 28:41
  and we talk once in awhile and I love them.
• 28:45
  One of my best friends passed away like about two years ago.
• 28:50
  Yeah, it was really sad. It was sudden.
• 28:52
  So that was like, I think also brought us together a little bit
• 28:56
  more. But yeah, those years were
• 28:59
  great. High school for me was amazing.
• 29:01
  Most people did not like high school, but for me it was
• 29:04
  escaped from my reality at home, which was easier to deal with at
• 29:09
  school. So I'm actually very involved in
• 29:12
  a girl's high school right now. Really.
• 29:14
  Well, it's not my home because that closed down.
• 29:16
  Yeah, it's a it's a girls high school in Muncie that was threat
• 29:19
  at a threat of shutting down and they needed a few community
• 29:22
  members to step up and take over.
• 29:23
  So we did. And I'm only involved in the
• 29:27
  operations of finance side of it and, you know, put things
• 29:29
  together. But I'm always curious about
• 29:33
  raising kids in general. And I started realizing how boys
• 29:38
  are so different than, of course, we knew this already.
• 29:40
  Like, ha, ha, it took me this long to figure out, no, but from
• 29:43
  an education standpoint and from a thinner standpoint and forget
• 29:48
  about each individual child having their own way to approach
• 29:52
  them and talk to them. But boys and girls just run on
• 29:55
  different hemispheres. You know, they're excited about
• 29:58
  production. Do they have production in?
• 30:00
  Yes, of course. It's the highlight of the year,
• 30:02
  the Shabbat tone. I feel like it saved me.
• 30:05
  Yeah, I really do. I got to hear about.
• 30:07
  Like I'm emotional about thinking about it now.
• 30:09
  Like honestly, it saved me from from what I was personally
• 30:14
  feeling at the time. So it was just such an
• 30:20
  opportunity for me to shine. And I have to think Miss
• 30:23
  Einhorn, who was one of The Who was the head of the production
• 30:27
  in the school at the time, she was amazing.
• 30:28
  She loved me and she, she gave me so much to work with.
• 30:32
  Like she was always like boosting me up.
• 30:35
  And it was really, it was really special because it, it just
• 30:39
  helped me express myself. You know, being religious in
• 30:45
  general as a woman and being a, you know, actress, singer,
• 30:50
  dancer, any entertainment is really difficult because you
• 30:55
  can't do this. You can't do that.
• 30:56
  This is not Sanua. This is OK.
• 30:58
  So to have that, that place where you can express yourself
• 31:01
  and it's welcomed was great. Right.
• 31:05
  It's true. By the way, I, as a father,
• 31:07
  can't see the production of my own daughter because there's no
• 31:10
  men allowed. And it's like the first time I
• 31:12
  heard that. I'm like, are you kidding me?
• 31:13
  I can't see my. Unless you're the video guy,
• 31:15
  there's many ways to make sure that you can get in there.
• 31:17
  I'm just saying if you want, you know.
• 31:20
  It's a great idea. I may, I may consider that.
• 31:23
  But what I noticed also in the production is that they take
• 31:26
  every single girl and give them some sort of role.
• 31:29
  You're opening the curtain, you're holding the camera,
• 31:31
  you're saying, Oh my gosh, right.
• 31:34
  And it gives people that the girls at least that feeling of
• 31:36
  purpose. You know, I'm so happy to hear
• 31:39
  this and, and, and that you're sharing that with me in terms of
• 31:42
  how much production is giving. It's it's giving me strength
• 31:44
  also to give back more to the school and like the shabba tone
• 31:48
  that they had at just. Recently and it's also and.
• 31:51
  It's not just a fun thing. It's like you're saying, it's
• 31:54
  something that really helps you grow as a person, right?
• 31:57
  And I have to tell you, one of the things that I'm exposed to
• 32:00
  is it's actually very sad to me as as as a father and as a, you
• 32:06
  know, a community member seeing the challenges that a lot of his
• 32:09
  children have. Yeah, like family problems and
• 32:14
  challenges that it comes to us as a school because, like, you
• 32:16
  know, OK, if somebody and the bills can't get paid or there's
• 32:18
  no one to talk to or unfortunately a mother just
• 32:21
  passed away or something, that is very, very challenging.
• 32:24
  And like, I'm trying to always think like, what else to do?
• 32:27
  Like what how else to address like.
• 32:29
  And the school itself is doing a great job.
• 32:31
  The faculty there is. Shout out to Maurice Rehearsh.
• 32:34
  Best high school in the world for girls in Muncie and out of
• 32:40
  Muncie. But anyways, the I'm, I'm
• 32:42
  curious though, you went through that high school experience and
• 32:45
  we're going to get past Mahone in a second.
• 32:47
  But take me to that world of a, a high school girl who has
• 32:51
  challenges and surprise, surprise, most high school
• 32:53
  girls, whether they have the challenges or don't feel like
• 32:56
  they're, you know, going through something like what?
• 33:00
  What are your thoughts that you can share to, you know, I guess?
• 33:05
  So I think because I was in like, well, I come from a
• 33:08
  different generation of today, so it's different.
• 33:11
  We didn't have like, you know, phones and we used to call our
• 33:15
  parents from the pay phone, like with $0.25.
• 33:19
  I don't remember that. Once a week.
• 33:20
  Yeah. And then like if, you know, if I
• 33:22
  told my mom I'm going to my friend and I'll be back at 7:00,
• 33:25
  I went to my friend and I was back at 7:00 because there's no
• 33:28
  way of communicating otherwise. Like, you know, so obviously you
• 33:31
  can call them to the house, but sometimes it's just, you know,
• 33:35
  you go somewhere, you come. It's just like such a crazy
• 33:37
  concept because today every second is the phone.
• 33:39
  Like how do you this is a? Big hot topic here.
• 33:42
  We are using it as parents and showing that social media is
• 33:47
  effectively a part of our job. It's a part of our life.
• 33:50
  That's really what it is for us. You know, it's it's part of our
• 33:53
  job and we're doing it. And, you know, I'm curious how
• 33:57
  you shut down personally. And I'm also curious what you
• 33:59
  would tell people to shut down. Like how how do you go about it
• 34:02
  when a world where this is? I was very surprised, to be
• 34:05
  honest with you. My daughter who recently got
• 34:07
  married, lives in Israel. She was telling me that there's
• 34:10
  no way she's letting her children have social media or
• 34:12
  phones. Forget about social media.
• 34:13
  She's like, she doesn't want a little.
• 34:15
  And the the surprising thing to me is her telling me that her
• 34:19
  friends all think that way too. That's great.
• 34:21
  It's. A girl that just finished high
• 34:22
  school a few years ago telling me that that's her mindset,
• 34:25
  which is so awesome. It is awesome.
• 34:27
  I honestly feel that there's so there is a lot of good in in
• 34:31
  social media. We can't like deny that.
• 34:34
  But if I really had like a wish in the social media world, I
• 34:40
  don't think it's as good as we think it is.
• 34:43
  Like, I think it was better the olden days, you know, when we
• 34:47
  were outside playing jump rope and, you know, just like hide
• 34:52
  and seek and like, who does that now?
• 34:54
  Does anyone do that anymore? Like, they should, I don't know,
• 34:57
  like be active and talk to your friends.
• 34:59
  Like not go to dinner and everyone's on their phone.
• 35:02
  Like everybody does it, including myself.
• 35:04
  It's just it's it's really bad. It's like social media is like,
• 35:10
  OK, I'm going to throw another another puzzle.
• 35:12
  Get you lush on Saginawar. It's like social, but it's so
• 35:18
  antisocial because you're not really connecting.
• 35:22
  What do you say Lush and what what does that mean?
• 35:23
  Saginahor, what does that mean? It's the opposite.
• 35:26
  Oh, I see. Like, you know, you say base a
• 35:27
  Haim, right? Which is means where the dead
• 35:29
  are buried. But we call it the House of the
• 35:32
  House of Life. So it's a lot lush.
• 35:34
  And Saginahor means like the opposite, you know.
• 35:37
  Nice, you're welcome. Did you go to yeshiva?
• 35:40
  I honestly, I didn't, I, I didn't no, after 14, I went to
• 35:44
  Israel and. I think I should do a podcast.
• 35:47
  Didn't interview you? And they couldn't figure it out.
• 35:49
  So I spent from 14 to 20 in Israel, and I missed the core
• 35:53
  part of yeshiva. Yeah, I, I it's part of my life.
• 35:57
  And that's why I like learning it.
• 35:58
  And if I don't know something, I'm going to ask.
• 36:00
  Great. That's the only way you learn.
• 36:02
  So how do you combat? Aloha by Sean Lamez.
• 36:04
  Oh, stop it already. I think that's Pierre Cavos.
• 36:08
  Now you're just showing. Off I am, but I'm doing good.
• 36:12
  How do you combat the social media yourself personally?
• 36:14
  How do you shut down? I want to know how the the
• 36:17
  wonderful Danielle Jacobs starts.
• 36:18
  Down wonderful. Yeah, I I find it hard.
• 36:21
  I think I'm a little addicted. I'm not going to lie.
• 36:23
  I do find it hard and I find it harder because of where I am in
• 36:26
  my life. So I think that that helps me.
• 36:30
  I think it's funny, but I think social media helps me to, you
• 36:36
  know, be funny. Perform where I'm not performing
• 36:38
  elsewhere, let's say, or interact even though I'm not
• 36:44
  really interacting, but interacting with people where on
• 36:47
  the daily. I don't necessarily always
• 36:49
  interact where I am in my life, you know, being like divorced
• 36:56
  and just a different world. My kids are adults already.
• 36:59
  I don't have to do anything for anyone anymore.
• 37:01
  It's, you know, it's just a very different bowl game.
• 37:05
  So sometimes that's my my rescue.
• 37:10
  Wow, that sounds kind of funny, but it's true.
• 37:13
  I like it. I like what you're saying.
• 37:15
  It's actually what what's what I'm thinking about is that it's
• 37:17
  your virtual stage. It's.
• 37:19
  Like. Like you can put on a production
• 37:21
  anytime you want. You just got to go on the phone.
• 37:24
  So it's almost like, you know, I hate to say it, but you're
• 37:28
  you're addicted to entertaining me.
• 37:30
  I should say thank you. I mean that that's really what
• 37:32
  it is. You're.
• 37:33
  I should do it. The truth is I should do it much
• 37:35
  more often, meaning I should probably post every single day
• 37:37
  something funny, whatever. But I don't know.
• 37:40
  I can't always do it. I don't always feel it.
• 37:43
  I'm very authentic to myself, as much as I can be, and if I'm not
• 37:46
  feeling funny, I just can't be funny.
• 37:48
  And if I'm not feeling like I want to go on, I just don't go
• 37:51
  on. So it's not really great for
• 37:53
  your algorithm, but whatever. I do what I can, you know, but
• 37:57
  for me to expand and get bigger and get more known and, you
• 38:01
  know, is, is it's very important to post and post and post and
• 38:05
  bless my son. He does it literally every day.
• 38:08
  He just does, just doesn't give up.
• 38:10
  And he, yeah, that's the only way to get up there, honestly.
• 38:13
  We got to skip a little bit from your Macon days.
• 38:16
  Yeah, You, you brought up your son.
• 38:17
  It's. Like I did, I did bring up my
• 38:19
  son. I wasn't going to bring him.
• 38:20
  Up. It's OK, so it's about to
• 38:22
  happen. Lies.
• 38:24
  But because it's funny when you see someone who's funny and it's
• 38:30
  like knowing that person comes from someone who, sorry, you
• 38:34
  feel, in my opinion, the funniest.
• 38:36
  Thank you in such a great personality.
• 38:39
  It's interesting to see how that played out and I don't know the
• 38:42
  story, so I would love to know. How?
• 38:45
  Yeah, like, just tell me as much as you can.
• 38:47
  Like, he was six years old and he made a joke or everything was
• 38:50
  perfectly normal until it was not normal.
• 38:52
  Like, I'd love to hear that, you know, just that part.
• 38:56
  Yeah, we could. Skip my kids growing up, OK, I
• 38:58
  was very much. Fine, we can go back.
• 39:01
  No, no, we'll go back after my kids growing up, I was very much
• 39:06
  into like videoing them and like, you know, oh, do this
• 39:10
  because my, my, my parents, we have to go back in order to
• 39:13
  understand. But let's say at this point in,
• 39:15
  in my life, my, my parents and my family moved back to
• 39:17
  Australia. So I was in this place where I
• 39:20
  just wanted to kind of show them what my kids were doing.
• 39:22
  So I was always videoing them and, you know, doing funny
• 39:27
  things or dances and and with the years, I would dance with
• 39:31
  them. Both my kids are great dancers
• 39:32
  and I'm a dance teacher, so we would dance together and I loved
• 39:36
  it. It's like my favorite part of
• 39:37
  life, honestly, dancing with my kids or doing funny skits.
• 39:41
  And that started much earlier on when my when you feel was little
• 39:45
  already. Then he was always funny, always
• 39:48
  like since he was little, like he, he was always very
• 39:52
  articulate with his words and always very, very funny.
• 39:55
  He really cracked me up always and I loved videoing him when he
• 39:57
  would do funny things because it cracked me up.
• 40:00
  Right. I've just paused for a quick
• 40:01
  second. I remember those days where I
• 40:04
  also grew up in that environment, funny enough, where
• 40:06
  we were always videoing each other.
• 40:07
  Yeah. We have a lot of good footage.
• 40:09
  Yeah. When we were little kids.
• 40:10
  And, like, you know, it's grainy because we watch it sometimes.
• 40:13
  Yeah. And you remember those
• 40:14
  camcorders where you held it? Yes.
• 40:15
  And the screen was. And remember when we used to do
• 40:18
  it in slow motion, like we got very, I got very into like the
• 40:20
  slow emotioning of the kids. It was so annoying.
• 40:23
  Now the. Button was there, we had to use
• 40:24
  it. Why are we using this?
• 40:25
  Because now we have ADHD on steroids because of all the
• 40:28
  technology and like we can't look at anything slow motion.
• 40:31
  It's like new let's go, let's. Go right now.
• 40:33
  Everything's two times. Yeah, it's.
• 40:34
  Exactly. It's like, let's hurry it up so.
• 40:35
  I remember those camcorders like I remember the first time my dad
• 40:38
  brought the camcorder that has the monitor built into the you
• 40:41
  see a huge monitor and you're watching it.
• 40:43
  And we used to video each other. My father actually used to walk
• 40:45
  behind curtains and like open it.
• 40:47
  Hello, hello. So I actually appreciate those
• 40:50
  moments. I have a lot of non Jewish
• 40:52
  friends and the one thing I have to tell you I'm jealous about
• 40:55
  within their culture is dancing. They love to dance and I feel
• 41:01
  like it's such a healthy thing. Just move.
• 41:03
  And of course the Jewish culture has hasidim habit at weddings,
• 41:07
  which is every Monday and Thursday.
• 41:09
  You know, we have our when I go to a good friend's wedding, I
• 41:12
  have to tell you, I come an hour early before the wedding.
• 41:15
  I leave an hour after the wedding, I dance, I participate.
• 41:18
  It's to me, it's just, it's part of a world that I feel like
• 41:21
  we're missing a little bit. Like you ever feel that way?
• 41:22
  Like. That's another whole story.
• 41:25
  The whole dancing career that I love so much was really
• 41:31
  difficult as a as a religious girl, very difficult.
• 41:34
  So that the time that I did have was Mahone.
• 41:36
  And then later on I was in very big performances in Israel, but
• 41:40
  it didn't go like I wish it would have.
• 41:43
  And that just ended up because of politics and it's the whole
• 41:48
  bunch of stuff, which is it's a little hard for me to talk about
• 41:50
  because I really don't like bad mouthing anyone or any
• 41:55
  community. And I feel like in every sect
• 42:00
  there's always people who are just so extreme and ridiculous.
• 42:05
  So it really doesn't matter if it's Jewish, Christian, Muslim,
• 42:07
  there's always someone who's nuts.
• 42:09
  But it's unfortunate when we fall into their world and we're
• 42:13
  part of it and we have to abide to it because of where we are.
• 42:17
  So I never got to really develop the dancing and the skills that
• 42:24
  I would want to because it was kind of shunned in many ways,
• 42:27
  you know? So yeah, I agree with you 100%.
• 42:30
  It's not enough. But The thing is that because in
• 42:34
  the religious world, especially girls, right, even if they go
• 42:38
  to, let's say, dance class after school or something like that,
• 42:41
  they're not really. And again, not everyone, but in
• 42:44
  the religious community, in the Jewish religious community,
• 42:46
  they're not going and making that into their career later on
• 42:50
  in life because it's not sneeze and it's not appropriate and
• 42:54
  it's not really something you want Abbasi soil to do later on.
• 42:57
  So when are you? So it's just for fun.
• 43:01
  It's not taken super seriously. There are places that are more
• 43:05
  serious now I think than it used to be.
• 43:07
  But in my day it was just like, oh, dance for fun.
• 43:09
  And also just be careful not to move your shoulder too much or
• 43:12
  your hip too much or you know. I'm just, I'm sorry, because I
• 43:16
  don't know, Even around women you're talking about.
• 43:18
  Yeah. Even around women.
• 43:19
  Yeah, I see. Because I grew up also in an
• 43:21
  environment where my mother actually went to dance lessons
• 43:24
  in our backyard. And we had an Israeli woman and
• 43:27
  my mother and all her, like, 17 friends would come, literally.
• 43:31
  And there was like, they would Just Dance in the back.
• 43:33
  And it would make me happy to see my mother happy and dancing
• 43:36
  like, you know, like it's for sure.
• 43:37
  They have that. Again, it depends on on what
• 43:40
  level you want to be at. If you want to just go to the,
• 43:43
  you know, JCC and have a dance class and whatever, it'll be
• 43:46
  great. It's awesome.
• 43:47
  You'll have fun and whatever. But when you want to perform and
• 43:49
  you really want to shine, it's, it's difficult because even if
• 43:53
  even though I did, I did have that opportunity to shine and
• 43:56
  perform in very big productions in Israel and this.
• 43:59
  Is after Mahone. This is way after this is when I
• 44:02
  was already married with kids. Oh see this was like a part of
• 44:04
  your life from a income standpoint also.
• 44:07
  It wasn't really an income. It's always for Hassid, but I
• 44:10
  did get a a bit of money for it, yeah.
• 44:12
  It was just something that I love to do, and they wanted me
• 44:15
  and, you know, and I was, you know, I felt like a superstar
• 44:20
  until I didn't. And that's a very intense story.
• 44:23
  I ended up leaving Israel because of it.
• 44:26
  And that's how I came to New York again the second time
• 44:30
  around. So yeah, that was a very intense
• 44:33
  time in my life. But yeah, my, my, my story is
• 44:38
  very complicated and there's a lot of parts to it.
• 44:40
  So we keep like jumping backwards and forwards.
• 44:42
  I don't know if your listeners will be like confused or just.
• 44:44
  That's OK. I like I'm actually pretty good
• 44:46
  with holding on to the things that coming back.
• 44:48
  So it's fine, and so do. You want to go back to.
• 44:51
  So I want to go through Mahone. So you're done with Mahone?
• 44:53
  I'm done with high school. And just to let you know, we
• 44:58
  lived in Bar Park I think for about 6 or 7 years and I moved
• 45:02
  about 7 times. Wow.
• 45:04
  Yeah, wow. And you're right that that what
• 45:08
  you said earlier in terms of so a lot of people do not face
• 45:11
  that. No, they don't face it, at least
• 45:13
  the physical part. They feel mentally moving, you
• 45:15
  know, emotionally moving. But that's that's a lot, yeah.
• 45:20
  That is a lot of moving and my father, may he rest in peace
• 45:25
  because he passed away two years ago.
• 45:26
  But I'm sorry, he was very intense.
• 45:29
  He was very intense. And again, he had a hard
• 45:31
  childhood and whatever, but as a father, he was extremely
• 45:34
  intense. And for me personally, my really
• 45:38
  difficult journey that I felt even more was when I was in high
• 45:41
  school and my father decided that it's time for me to get
• 45:45
  married. So just to make it clear, I did
• 45:48
  not get married in high school at the end, but my father
• 45:51
  started the idea of Shadduchem I believe at the end of 10th
• 45:55
  grade. Stop it.
• 45:57
  Yeah. Wow, My first bashaw I believe
• 46:01
  was in the 11th grade, and I say bashaw.
• 46:03
  Do you know what a bashaw is? Yeah.
• 46:04
  But that's my own lifestyle. My own lifestyle is not that,
• 46:07
  but my father's lifestyle. I see, I see.
• 46:09
  So you were living in that? My father, my parents were Bali
• 46:12
  Chuva. My father was an extremist, you
• 46:15
  know, he was still in this whole Hasidish garb.
• 46:17
  My mother as this farty woman was very religious, but like
• 46:21
  different. She was davening all day.
• 46:23
  She would do like chakras men ha Myrif to to heal him like all
• 46:29
  that. I probably got from her that
• 46:30
  knowledge. But she was very into like
• 46:33
  davening and all that stuff. And my father was just very
• 46:35
  strict. Like at one point in school I
• 46:38
  couldn't have long hair because he learned that you only let him
• 46:41
  have like till the nape or the neck and if it's longer than it
• 46:43
  has to be in a braid or in a pony.
• 46:45
  And that was always like a struggle.
• 46:47
  But I remember I was, I was head of dance at the time and my
• 46:53
  father decided that I have to have meet this guy.
• 46:56
  And I was like, I didn't want to, but if I wouldn't agree to
• 47:02
  something, he would not be happy.
• 47:05
  And then it would be like letting it out on my mom or at
• 47:08
  in the house. So I was always very aware of
• 47:10
  just having peace, like really whatever could bring the peace.
• 47:15
  And me as a person is very interesting that I learned this
• 47:18
  about myself more and more. I was a very, very spiritual.
• 47:21
  I'm a very spiritual person. I very much connect to the God
• 47:24
  and to spirituality. I actually remember as a very
• 47:27
  young child, we weren't even religious.
• 47:30
  I remember, I think when my parents would fight or
• 47:32
  something, I would write notes to God and I would crumble it
• 47:35
  asking him for something. And then I'd close my eyes and
• 47:37
  throw it out the window. And then I'd open my eyes and be
• 47:40
  like, Oh my gosh, he took it because I wouldn't see it.
• 47:42
  So already from a very young, that's adorable.
• 47:44
  But I know it's so cute. I was so cute.
• 47:47
  I was just picturing you so. Cute.
• 47:50
  Wow, so that spirituality was living within you then?
• 47:53
  Like it's sort of like, I guess it was your protector.
• 47:55
  Yeah. And, and I remember later on
• 48:00
  when my parents told me they want to move to Israel and
• 48:03
  they're going to be we're going to keep Shabbat and stuff like
• 48:05
  that. I was excited because I wanted
• 48:07
  to be like more Jewish, like more religious at the time.
• 48:11
  I went to base base Rifka, which was a Habad school, but only for
• 48:17
  a little bit. So I went to like a non Jewish
• 48:19
  school. Then I went to a very like a
• 48:22
  Jewish school. Like I kept like switching
• 48:24
  around. I remember when I was in the non
• 48:26
  Jewish school, I think it was a Christian School actually, we
• 48:28
  were playing outside on the sandbox and we're like walking
• 48:33
  on the edge and this girl goes Jesus is God, Jesus is God.
• 48:39
  And it bothered me because I thought to myself as a child,
• 48:42
  how can a human being be something so great?
• 48:46
  And I didn't, I just didn't like it.
• 48:48
  I'm not like saying anything about Jesus or anything like
• 48:50
  that. To each their own.
• 48:51
  But for me it's like, I don't think I would ever be able to
• 48:54
  follow a human being to say that he's God.
• 48:59
  You know, that's like, but you can follow someone who is the
• 49:02
  messenger of God. You know what I mean?
• 49:04
  Like a messenger. And even in that, it's like, you
• 49:08
  know, wow, tricky. So many things I'm curious.
• 49:12
  About so many. Things all right, it's awesome.
• 49:14
  We're we're, we're doing great by then we're I was just saying
• 49:17
  we're doing great and I, I don't think people get to see that
• 49:21
  side of you enough, I should say, because understanding it.
• 49:26
  And again, like I said earlier, you know, people following your
• 49:28
  status of people that know you. So if someone is knows you and
• 49:31
  they're following you and they get to know these sides of you,
• 49:34
  I personally am getting to appreciate you more.
• 49:37
  So, so that's first of all. And secondly, I think there's a
• 49:39
  lot to learn from and I'd love to hear what your message would
• 49:42
  be like. You know, you, you have fans
• 49:45
  that are adult males, but you also have you know.
• 49:47
  MG leave it on that available that are normal.
• 49:51
  But there's also younger crowds and people that are learning and
• 49:54
  growing. So from all that that you've
• 49:56
  taken, I'm sure there's a lot to learn and to expose and to talk
• 49:59
  about. But what what is that one thing
• 50:02
  or maybe a couple of things that you're thinking about?
• 50:04
  I need to tell this to to young girls now.
• 50:06
  I need to tell this to people that they can at least learn
• 50:09
  from my experiences. Like can you pinpoint like a
• 50:12
  couple of ideas or thoughts based on this, you know,
• 50:15
  lifestyle that you had? First of all, you're a very good
• 50:18
  interviewer. Thank you.
• 50:19
  Not that I have so much experience, but you're very
• 50:21
  good. There are a few things.
• 50:23
  First of all, I really think it's important to listen to
• 50:26
  yourself. Listen to yourself.
• 50:28
  To your intuition. Oh.
• 50:29
  I did not see that coming. OK, keep going.
• 50:33
  I think I'm very intuitive and I always was, and I pushed it away
• 50:36
  for the peace, for the love for God, for Amisa Rael, for the
• 50:42
  Torah, for so many things that I kind of lost myself in the
• 50:45
  process. And now and again, this is my
• 51:05
  perspective, but being an adult and trying to find myself, it's
• 51:13
  really difficult when I feel that a lot of my life was making
• 51:21
  others happy and others OK with who I am, kind of proving myself
• 51:25
  a lot. And it's exhausting.
• 51:28
  And also what happens is that later on when you put so much
• 51:31
  effort into your family, then your spouse and then your
• 51:35
  children, which I'm happy that I did, but I just, I lost the
• 51:44
  sense of me. I don't think.
• 51:46
  I mean, I know that I was, I was never asked like, what do you
• 51:48
  want to do when you grow up? How do you feel about this and
• 51:51
  this and that? It was always surviving and
• 51:54
  being like, OK, everyone, it's going to be good.
• 51:55
  OK, let's do this. You know, this is with my family
• 51:58
  growing up and then getting married.
• 52:01
  It was like just putting a lot of love into my children and
• 52:05
  doing whatever I could with them that I didn't feel I got as a
• 52:09
  child. And I think I did a good job on
• 52:11
  that. So yay to me, really yay.
• 52:14
  And of course, you know, my ex at the time, he's a great
• 52:17
  father. So I think that listening to
• 52:22
  yourself early on is really important.
• 52:26
  And there's a real big difference between being selfish
• 52:29
  and self-care. It's a fine line that I think
• 52:32
  sometimes we cross, you know, especially this generation.
• 52:35
  There's a lot of there's a lot of emphasis on the self-care,
• 52:41
  which I think is so important, as I'm saying, but just be
• 52:44
  careful not to become selfish. But if you listen to yourself at
• 52:47
  a younger stage and you're like, what do I, what am I feeling?
• 52:50
  Does this feel right? Does it not, you know, kind of
• 52:52
  giving yourself a little more credit if you come from a place
• 52:55
  where you're not getting enough from the outside.
• 52:58
  So listen to yourself more. Always be respectful and, and
• 53:05
  also listen to others and listen to the elderly and listen to
• 53:08
  other people because wisdom does come with time and age.
• 53:12
  You don't know everything when you're young.
• 53:14
  True. And it is important to listen.
• 53:16
  And I still do listen, even though I've been hurt many times
• 53:19
  in my life with people who are supposed to be rabbis and know
• 53:24
  more than me. But it's still important to
• 53:26
  listen because there's always something you can learn from it,
• 53:29
  you know, So I don't know if that's very clear because I'm a
• 53:33
  little emotional, couldn't be more.
• 53:36
  And it's a little hard for me to talk about it.
• 53:37
  But I just think that it's important to to listen to
• 53:42
  yourself and say, Hey, what do you want?
• 53:44
  So that you don't get to the stage in your life that I'm in
• 53:47
  where you have, you know, you're going to therapy and, and the
• 53:50
  therapist is trying to find the little girl in you.
• 53:52
  And it's like, what does she want?
• 53:54
  What does that little Danielle, that 7 year old want?
• 53:56
  What does that 12 year old want? Like, why have to go through
• 53:59
  that if you don't like, just do it earlier on so you have more
• 54:03
  of the ability to know yourself, you know, and not start
• 54:07
  searching when you're in your 40s.
• 54:09
  I just told this to my 16 year old an hour before we started
• 54:13
  the podcast. Really.
• 54:14
  Literally this conversation. Not exactly, not exactly in
• 54:18
  those words. But yeah, I said to him the
• 54:20
  following. I said you are so blessed to
• 54:24
  have an understanding of life 30 years before I did, literally
• 54:30
  when I was I think 35 is when I started thinking down the road
• 54:35
  of myself and like, what do I want?
• 54:36
  And so this message, that's why I was so, you know, I was
• 54:41
  adamant about asking you like this specific question about
• 54:43
  younger people. Forget about us.
• 54:46
  But I think also what you're saying is it's never too late.
• 54:48
  Also, like, you know, that selfish versus self-care, it's
• 54:51
  such a great line, by the way. I never heard that before.
• 54:53
  Really. Yeah.
• 54:54
  It's really, really smart. Made it up but thanks.
• 54:56
  It's it's a smart one. I, I think about it.
• 54:58
  I think about it a lot because I I think about things a lot.
• 55:01
  In general, I think I'm an overthinker.
• 55:03
  Everything that is good and bad is a fine line.
• 55:07
  I, I, I'm, I'm accepting everything you're saying and I'm
• 55:09
  breaking it down a little bit more because for me as as an
• 55:13
  adult, you start hearing it a lot.
• 55:16
  This, these are words that we're hearing a lot in our world.
• 55:18
  Like first of all, the question of like, where, what now?
• 55:20
  Where am I heading? You know that that you know, and
• 55:22
  then when that happens, so I'm going to tap into that in terms
• 55:25
  of that, you know, little Michael of mine by the way, I
• 55:28
  have a little bit of an identity crisis also I right now.
• 55:33
  In this moment, you want to address it because we can.
• 55:35
  I'm. Just going to address it to you
• 55:36
  anyways because you had it and. Still have it, but yeah.
• 55:39
  Yeah, me too. I grew up as Higham and until I
• 55:42
  was 22 I was Higham and I just thought it would be hard for
• 55:46
  everyone to pronounce Chayam. So I went by my middle name,
• 55:48
  which is Michael and I made myself into Michael.
• 55:51
  So I am the, you know, Michael, you know, typical type of, you
• 55:56
  know, non Jewish pick of a name. But several years ago after
• 56:00
  October 7th, mainly I said I want people to know that I'm
• 56:03
  Chayam. I don't want to be a Michael.
• 56:06
  And the reason why I did that is because you're not today, you go
• 56:09
  around and you're in the airport and like, there's people that
• 56:11
  you would love to say hi to because they're characteristic
• 56:13
  and they're unique and like, you want a nice jacket, you know,
• 56:15
  but then there are people wearing a mask and you're like,
• 56:18
  thank you for telling me you don't want to have anything to
• 56:20
  do with me, right? It's like, you know, in advance,
• 56:22
  right? So today, like, I'm looking at
• 56:24
  like a piece of real estate in an area where it's, you know, I
• 56:26
  don't know if they're Jewish friendly or not.
• 56:29
  And the second I walked in and I met the mayor and the village
• 56:32
  attorney and the people there, I said, hi, my name is Cayenne as
• 56:36
  in look, I am to life and that's who I am and where I'm from.
• 56:40
  And it broke that barrier to know right away.
• 56:44
  Are you guys wearing masks or are you not wearing masks when
• 56:46
  it comes to being a Jewish? Like just tell me right now.
• 56:49
  That's why I'm jumping down that I am, you know, road and but so
• 56:55
  many people know me as Michael and my non Jewish friends are
• 56:57
  like, but you're Michael. Could you switch?
• 56:58
  So that's my. Right.
• 57:01
  I don't think it's an identity crisis.
• 57:03
  I think you can carry both. I could carry both, absolutely.
• 57:06
  You think so? Yeah.
• 57:07
  I'm really having a hard time with this.
• 57:08
  Why you can help me? Why?
• 57:09
  Because I don't know when to say, Michael, I want to say hi.
• 57:11
  I'm like, I'm just like, still in that.
• 57:12
  World can you say it professionally, Michael?
• 57:14
  And when you're in a place where it's like.
• 57:17
  More meaningful. I guess where you feel
• 57:19
  comfortable, you say hi, I'm it's not, it's not coming.
• 57:22
  It's just easier for people around you.
• 57:24
  So it's not even about being it's about you.
• 57:27
  It's about what's easier for people to say or to to feel
• 57:31
  right. Do they feel high?
• 57:32
  I'm right now if you're in shul because do you have to make Ali
• 57:35
  Ali Alatura and say I'm high or am I Michael?
• 57:38
  You know what I mean? Like like right now at a
• 57:40
  podcast, What makes you feel more comfortable?
• 57:42
  That's the thing. So it's Michael, but I am so
• 57:45
  into the Jewish thing, right? Now, is that because of the
• 57:47
  whole October 7th? It's just because I want to be.
• 57:49
  I want to know right now who's a hater and who's not.
• 57:51
  Stay away from me if I'm Michael and you know you have an issue
• 57:55
  with me and when you find out I'm actually fine, like that's
• 57:57
  where I'm coming from, like. OK, so you're in that like, I
• 58:00
  want to stick up for the Jewish people, right?
• 58:01
  Now I just want you. I just want to know if you're a
• 58:03
  hater or not. I don't want to find out later
• 58:05
  down the line that you know you have a problem with.
• 58:08
  I guess you're right. I could just go with whatever
• 58:10
  feels right at the moment. I don't think it's an identity
• 58:12
  crisis. It's not.
• 58:13
  No, you say I make too much of a big deal.
• 58:15
  No, I don't think you're making a big deal.
• 58:17
  I just think that it's, it's OK to be both.
• 58:19
  Yeah. I'm Danielle.
• 58:21
  And for years and years and years, I was Rifka, right?
• 58:23
  And my high school friends and people who know me from back
• 58:25
  then call me Rifka. It makes me jolt a little
• 58:28
  because it's like, oh, right, Rifka.
• 58:30
  But it doesn't. It's not a bad thing, right?
• 58:33
  I'm Rifka and I'm Danielle. OK, I'm we're done with the
• 58:35
  topic. I'll never bring it up again.
• 58:36
  No. You can if you want to.
• 58:41
  If it's not about me, I really don't care What?
• 58:42
  I'm sorry, Nothing. Really.
• 58:44
  Really. That.
• 58:44
  That's where it's at. So let's talk about life.
• 58:47
  OK, We're talking about Thiam. That's my name.
• 58:49
  So let's talk about life. We now know your background,
• 58:51
  your production kind. Of though a little bit.
• 58:53
  You know, is there anything to point out from Mahone until now
• 58:56
  in terms of your life that you went through?
• 58:58
  That would be a nice Yeah, please.
• 59:01
  I'd like to hear. It what?
• 59:02
  Nice. No, no.
• 59:03
  No, no, no. A nice learning lesson.
• 59:05
  Oh, a learning. Yeah, yeah.
• 59:06
  That's. A learning lesson.
• 59:08
  What did you? What?
• 59:09
  Let me ask you before I finish my sentence, what were you?
• 59:11
  I'm hoping that I would say what?
• 59:12
  What was something that popped up?
• 59:13
  No, nothing. Nothing.
• 59:14
  I just like what now? No, I didn't.
• 59:17
  Hope for anything. I had no expectations.
• 59:20
  The perfect? I think that's the type of
• 59:21
  person you are, no? I do have expectations.
• 59:26
  Let's talk about that a little bit.
• 59:27
  OK. I do have expectations and I
• 59:29
  think we all have expectations and we when we tell each other
• 59:32
  or others don't have any expectations.
• 59:35
  I don't think that that's realistic.
• 59:38
  I think automatically we have expectations.
• 59:40
  It's how we respond when our expectations are not met that
• 59:46
  really matters. To say to someone don't have
• 59:49
  expectations. It's hard to say that like, you
• 59:53
  know, if I do some what something for someone and do I
• 59:58
  expect to thank you? Yeah.
• 1:00:01
  Because it's like, for me, it's like a normal thing.
• 1:00:03
  I think I expect people to do what what I would do.
• 1:00:07
  Because that's just how we are as human beings, right?
• 1:00:11
  But that doesn't happen a lot. And then we don't understand
• 1:00:13
  like, but I would do that. Why wouldn't you do that?
• 1:00:16
  So I think it's really important to learn how to respond to not
• 1:00:20
  getting your expectations in that.
• 1:00:22
  Wow. That's years of therapy right
• 1:00:24
  there, by the way, all sometimes I'm serious, but this is what
• 1:00:27
  I've learned from therapy. You know the reason why I'm such
• 1:00:30
  a big advocate? You know, therapy, the word
• 1:00:32
  therapy just has a negative connotation to it,
• 1:00:35
  unfortunately, in certain worlds.
• 1:00:37
  No, it's very cool to go to therapy.
• 1:00:39
  We made it cooler, right? But you know, I always like to
• 1:00:43
  say therapy is a friend. The therapy is a brother, is a
• 1:00:46
  sister is a conversation. And sometimes we just don't have
• 1:00:49
  the ability to have that conversation.
• 1:00:50
  So that's why that therapy is so important.
• 1:00:51
  And not to poke at it in any way, but to say to you those
• 1:00:54
  words that you just said is a lifetime of work.
• 1:00:58
  Because if we can understand each other's perspectives more
• 1:01:01
  and like really an advanced know to control our outcomes based on
• 1:01:05
  that, I think we would have 90% less arguments in this world.
• 1:01:09
  Correct, but we can't know what your respond would be.
• 1:01:15
  But I can work on my respond to not having my expectations met,
• 1:01:20
  which I work on all the time. Sometimes I succeed and
• 1:01:23
  sometimes I don't. And it's really hard when you
• 1:01:27
  just don't understand why that expectation wasn't met.
• 1:01:31
  It's a small, it's nothing. It's just a thank you.
• 1:01:34
  I'm just going to that example, you know what I mean?
• 1:01:36
  But people process things differently.
• 1:01:39
  And also not everybody has the capacity to give what you give.
• 1:01:45
  And that I've really learned the hard way.
• 1:01:48
  And I think that because what I've gone through in my life, my
• 1:01:51
  capacity and ability to expand myself towards others, to
• 1:01:57
  understanding more, to being kind, not just kind, but caring
• 1:02:03
  is so much greater because of what I've gone through that it
• 1:02:06
  expanded me as a human being. And some people are just not
• 1:02:10
  there. A lot of people are not there.
• 1:02:12
  And I'm not saying, oh, I'm so amazing.
• 1:02:14
  I can do more than you know, It's actually quite difficult
• 1:02:17
  because I kind of so many times wish I could get back what I
• 1:02:21
  feel I give. And the limitations are what
• 1:02:26
  they are, and I just have to learn how to accept that and I
• 1:02:30
  guess to thank God for giving me the ability to be able to do
• 1:02:35
  those things that others can't do.
• 1:02:37
  But sometimes it's a very lonely place.
• 1:02:39
  Very well said. Very, very well said.
• 1:02:42
  You know, Speaking of a lonely place, there's a lot of things
• 1:02:46
  that I go through personally that I feel is lonely.
• 1:02:49
  One of those things for me, I think is just the actual world
• 1:02:53
  word itself. When I'm alone, it's difficult
• 1:02:56
  for me. It, it surprises me myself even
• 1:03:00
  saying it out loud, like, what do you mean you're not
• 1:03:02
  comfortable being by yourself? And the answer is no, I'm not
• 1:03:05
  comfortable being by myself. It's a challenge of mine.
• 1:03:08
  I like being around people. I like the energy that it, that
• 1:03:10
  it has, the effect that it has. That's the work that I've been
• 1:03:13
  putting in in my life. On top of other things.
• 1:03:16
  I had anger issues when I was a kid and it came out a little bit
• 1:03:20
  as a teenager and a little bit more my my best friends were
• 1:03:23
  laughing that it didn't, you know, completely leave you.
• 1:03:26
  I'm passionate. So when I want to talk about
• 1:03:29
  something and I'm a truth seeker.
• 1:03:31
  So like, if something bothers me that I don't see the truth, I'll
• 1:03:34
  go crazy and you might think I'm angry.
• 1:03:36
  I'm not angry. I'm just trying to find the
• 1:03:38
  truth, you know? So what?
• 1:03:40
  Sign are you? I'm a Libra.
• 1:03:42
  OK, Yeah, it makes sense. What are you, Aquarius?
• 1:03:45
  Aquarius. A very Aquarius have a lot in
• 1:03:47
  common. Really.
• 1:03:48
  Yeah. Which ones?
• 1:03:49
  I'm not a huge astrologist, OK, Absolutely.
• 1:03:52
  You know, a little bit. I like this stuff.
• 1:03:54
  I like this stuff. I really do.
• 1:03:56
  I don't think it's like, here I go again.
• 1:03:57
  Tora Mestini. I know that.
• 1:04:01
  One good job, thank you, but I. Do tour with us.
• 1:04:05
  That's where you would. Elementary.
• 1:04:07
  Yeah, that's. But I do believe that there's
• 1:04:10
  something to it, you know? So what are those things that
• 1:04:13
  you worked on like in terms of you mentioned something a minute
• 1:04:16
  ago and I like that you said it was hard work and I worked
• 1:04:18
  through it. I want to tap into that.
• 1:04:21
  Just another minute of what? Give me something else that you
• 1:04:25
  because you're the only person that knows yourself, obviously
• 1:04:27
  what you had to work on and still.
• 1:04:29
  Do still working? And what you can share with me
• 1:04:32
  that is something that is relevant to now and what we can
• 1:04:36
  work on together as a society or as people, as friends.
• 1:04:39
  You know, I want to know like, how can we do this together?
• 1:04:44
  Well, I first of all, the loneliness.
• 1:04:47
  I really understand you and I find it excruciating, but it's
• 1:04:55
  not so much to be alone as to be lonely with inside.
• 1:05:00
  And I say that because I can be by myself.
• 1:05:03
  Like I can even go to a bar by myself or a restaurant if I have
• 1:05:06
  to. I've done stuff myself a lot
• 1:05:08
  even when I was married, like I would do things on my own.
• 1:05:11
  I'm quite independent. I have a free spirit.
• 1:05:13
  That's who I am. But also for me, the change in
• 1:05:18
  my life, going from being married for almost 24 years or
• 1:05:22
  25 years to just all of a sudden alone in an apartment, Like, you
• 1:05:27
  know, your kids are adults already.
• 1:05:28
  Things are changing and you're not that constant giver you,
• 1:05:33
  you're not needed as much anymore.
• 1:05:34
  Like my role in life was to give.
• 1:05:37
  That was my role from a very young age to give support, to
• 1:05:40
  give guidance, to give food, to give, whatever it is to give, to
• 1:05:44
  give. As mothers, we're we're givers
• 1:05:46
  and as the oldest sibling, it's like taking care of and giving.
• 1:05:49
  That's how I personally felt. So it's a very lonely place now.
• 1:05:55
  And even though I have plenty of acquaintances, plenty of friends
• 1:05:57
  and I'm so grateful and I have my beautiful son near me, there
• 1:06:03
  are changes in life, You know, all of a sudden he has a
• 1:06:06
  girlfriend. My daughter is going through her
• 1:06:08
  own things. Like everyone is going through
• 1:06:09
  their stuff. My ex is in his own life now and
• 1:06:12
  remarried. And it's just a lot to to kind
• 1:06:16
  of take in. And then you feel this like,
• 1:06:18
  wait, what's my purpose? Why am I here?
• 1:06:21
  What am I doing? And that kind of goes back to
• 1:06:24
  who am I? And that whole intuition that I
• 1:06:26
  was talking about earlier. But like, I think a lot of
• 1:06:29
  people go through this regardless, even if they had an
• 1:06:31
  amazing childhood, you go through this stage in life where
• 1:06:34
  it's like, it's a grief. Even if even if you're married
• 1:06:39
  and all of a sudden your your kids are adults and like all of
• 1:06:41
  a sudden it's like 20 years you put into your children now it's
• 1:06:44
  like, oh, OK, bye. Like do your thing.
• 1:06:47
  What's my thing? My thing was making dinner for
• 1:06:49
  you when you come home, doing homework, making sure you're OK,
• 1:06:51
  buying new clothing. Do it like like what do you
• 1:06:53
  mean? Do your thing now do my thing.
• 1:06:56
  What does that even mean? So that's a feeling of
• 1:06:59
  loneliness inside that you have to kind of adjust to.
• 1:07:01
  So I will say on that point of loneliness is, yes, I understand
• 1:07:04
  you perhaps in a different way, but also I'm learning, really
• 1:07:11
  struggling with it. But to really let go, to accept
• 1:07:17
  wherever I am in life right now, whatever that even means, and to
• 1:07:20
  really learn to let go. And it's such a difficult thing
• 1:07:24
  to do. And so many times I get to that
• 1:07:28
  place where it's so hard and I'll cry and I'll and I'll be
• 1:07:33
  angry at Hashem for it and I'll won't understand what he's
• 1:07:36
  doing. And how could it be that I'm in
• 1:07:37
  this situation? It doesn't make sense.
• 1:07:39
  It doesn't make sense in any way, shape or form.
• 1:07:41
  I'm, I'm not supposed to be here right now.
• 1:07:43
  I'm supposed to be doing this and this and that and that.
• 1:07:45
  It doesn't make sense and there is nothing I can do about it but
• 1:07:50
  to accept and let go. And it's a very difficult
• 1:07:56
  concept to really understand fully because letting go seems
• 1:08:01
  very simple, like when you're taking a weight, right, and
• 1:08:04
  you're lifting it, it's hard to lift, It's easy to let it go.
• 1:08:09
  But in life, it's the opposite. It's the letting go that we need
• 1:08:14
  to learn how to do. And it's it's very challenging.
• 1:08:18
  Wow. Very.
• 1:08:19
  Profound like my goodness, you've yes, thanks.
• 1:08:22
  Yeah, I like, I like this insight a lot.
• 1:08:24
  I'm, I'm learning a lot from what you're saying and it's,
• 1:08:26
  it's resonating tremendously. And I always laugh with my
• 1:08:29
  friends that, you know, you have to really figure out your
• 1:08:33
  commonalities with your spouse before the kids are all out of
• 1:08:36
  the house because then you look at each other and you're like,
• 1:08:37
  now what? So that's always, you know, a
• 1:08:40
  discussion in general amongst, you know, adults figuring out,
• 1:08:43
  OK, in that physical alone space.
• 1:08:46
  It can be challenging. I feel like, you know, the onion
• 1:08:51
  is just being, you know, peeled away back slowly.
• 1:08:53
  We're going to have to wrap up shortly.
• 1:08:55
  And I feel like we should do this again because it was just.
• 1:08:58
  Should there's a lot more? There's so much not only that,
• 1:09:01
  it's that also throughout the stages of our lives, like if we
• 1:09:04
  do this again in six months from now, there's going to be so much
• 1:09:06
  more that's going on in your life.
• 1:09:08
  But that's really what I want to jump into now also.
• 1:09:10
  So we spoke about, you know, you guys doing videos earlier and as
• 1:09:14
  as children. And so I wanted to jump to that
• 1:09:16
  point of where you are now in that world and where you feel is
• 1:09:19
  holding in that world. In his career, you said he had
• 1:09:21
  a, he has a girlfriend now, which is awesome.
• 1:09:23
  So that's so nice to add more love and you know, people in a
• 1:09:28
  positive way around you. And that's such a nice feeling.
• 1:09:31
  And congratulations on everything you've done till now.
• 1:09:34
  And, and, and of course, with Hashem's help, but you know,
• 1:09:36
  just knowing that it's all heading in that direction is so
• 1:09:39
  beautiful. And, and really everything about
• 1:09:41
  you is just such great insight. And it's just such a beautiful
• 1:09:45
  thing to hear one thing after another.
• 1:09:47
  I appreciate that. So you're, you're, you're doing
• 1:09:49
  these videos, you're keeping around, you're doing things
• 1:09:51
  behind the scenes like families do you know, you know, people
• 1:09:54
  that like are art artsy, you know, you know, kids sitting at
• 1:09:58
  the piano. You're videoing it.
• 1:09:59
  Oh, my son learnt how to play guitar and here I'm videoing
• 1:10:02
  him. But then it becomes like your
• 1:10:05
  life and like you turn around and you're like, Oh my God.
• 1:10:07
  Now it's this. When did that transition happen?
• 1:10:09
  If you don't mind, take me through that process.
• 1:10:11
  What? So the first time you feel did
• 1:10:15
  stand up, like literally was with me at his bar mitzvah.
• 1:10:20
  I love that. We did like a little routine
• 1:10:22
  together, and I'll tell you, it's really funny.
• 1:10:24
  So at the Shabbos table, I always like to make jokes and
• 1:10:27
  make my family laugh and people laugh in general.
• 1:10:29
  That was me and I was sitting there at the shops table.
• 1:10:33
  We had a mirror like right next to where we would sit.
• 1:10:36
  So I was just being my silly self and I took AI think it was
• 1:10:40
  a piece of the holiday and it was so doughy and then I stuck
• 1:10:44
  it like this and I kind of made it into teeth lockless.
• 1:10:47
  So all of a sudden I became lockless kind of a person
• 1:10:49
  talking lockless and it was so funny and I was just cracking
• 1:10:53
  myself up, which is fine. I'm looking in the mirror.
• 1:10:55
  I'm like this is such a great character.
• 1:10:57
  I got to do something with this, you know, And then I just
• 1:11:00
  created this character called Bilidina.
• 1:11:02
  And if he was Dumbo and I says to myself, come on, son, let's
• 1:11:06
  talk a little bit about something.
• 1:11:07
  And he'd be like mom. And he'd be like, be quiet, son.
• 1:11:10
  And this whole thing we just kind of created, and we actually
• 1:11:14
  put it on YouTube. We have one video, and it's so
• 1:11:17
  funny. It's long because back in the
• 1:11:19
  day people had patience, but then we didn't do anything after
• 1:11:22
  that because he turned 13 and of.
• 1:11:24
  Course, yes, he's in high school.
• 1:11:26
  And yeah, but then you, you came out and did something and what
• 1:11:29
  was that like for you? You put on a tickle like.
• 1:11:31
  How did that happen? That happened.
• 1:11:33
  That was your first. Photo, right?
• 1:11:35
  That's, well, social media not. To social media because I've
• 1:11:38
  been a performer so I've been on stages and I've done dances and
• 1:11:41
  acts and I've choreographed dances and throughout my life
• 1:11:44
  like but this was when it suddenly like hit big, right So
• 1:11:49
  that time when I did this Rabbiton character that you're
• 1:11:51
  talking about about 14 years ago, 14 years ago I think so it
• 1:11:54
  was about that there was someone on YouTube that did like a
• 1:11:59
  Hasidish version of someone getting their nails done what
• 1:12:03
  was her name? I can't believe I just.
• 1:12:04
  I'm getting my nails did. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:12:06
  That that era. Yeah.
• 1:12:08
  I think I know what you're talking.
• 1:12:09
  About her name, she's great, Great actress.
• 1:12:12
  She was really funny. Anyway, her last name was Man
• 1:12:16
  Dina men Dina. Yes, yes.
• 1:12:18
  And she did this character and I remember a friend of mine
• 1:12:20
  calling me and saying, Danielle, you have to do a respond to
• 1:12:23
  this. So I looked at it and I'm like,
• 1:12:25
  okay. And I was actually by another
• 1:12:28
  friend's house and she was, she's like more religious than
• 1:12:30
  me and she had like tickles and stuff like that and said, can I
• 1:12:33
  borrow this? By the way, I still have it till
• 1:12:35
  today. So a very long borrowing.
• 1:12:38
  It's like you can have it now. It's like it's going to be
• 1:12:40
  hanging in like, you know, all the places where the stars like
• 1:12:43
  Madonna's old clothing, the rabbits for a very long little
• 1:12:45
  robe until. So I said, can I, can I borrow
• 1:12:48
  it? And I borrowed it.
• 1:12:50
  I listened to her, what she said and then I just put it on, put
• 1:12:54
  the video on and I just did pointers to what she was saying
• 1:13:00
  without practicing. Like I I can get into a
• 1:13:03
  character and just beat in it and completely whatever it is.
• 1:13:07
  I could do Israeli, I could do whatever it is.
• 1:13:09
  I could just go straight into what you feel that person.
• 1:13:12
  You could just jump into a character.
• 1:13:13
  I just feel that person. How many characters?
• 1:13:16
  I could do many like I have these like character that I do.
• 1:13:19
  Is I like feel it's. Very funny.
• 1:13:22
  She actually is a Baker. If you want to learn how to
• 1:13:26
  bake, don't go to hell. But they no but I just have
• 1:13:29
  different. Bunch of different characters,
• 1:13:31
  what else you got? I have this Bill Adina
• 1:13:33
  character, OK, the hilly Billy. I do impersonations.
• 1:13:37
  I just loved. I always impersonated everything
• 1:13:40
  when I was growing up. Who were?
• 1:13:41
  You good at? I don't know now.
• 1:13:43
  Now it's just different. Now I'm looking at different.
• 1:13:46
  A long time ago. Who did you do then?
• 1:13:48
  I did did the President of Israel at the time.
• 1:13:50
  Who was that name? Shamir, like something like
• 1:13:56
  that. I don't know if it's Shamir or
• 1:14:03
  if it was. I don't think it was Barack.
• 1:14:05
  Barack Odd. I think that's what it was.
• 1:14:09
  I haven't seen him since then, obviously.
• 1:14:12
  Well, yeah, but I so it's just a memory that I had that everybody
• 1:14:15
  loved and they're like, do it again, Do it again you.
• 1:14:17
  Know you tap into it and just. I can tap into a lot of
• 1:14:20
  different characters, but I haven't done it in a while, like
• 1:14:25
  in a different place, but I need to get more into it, get more
• 1:14:29
  into myself that I what I used to do, but I just got into this
• 1:14:34
  character by and I don't even know why I don't remember ever
• 1:14:38
  having teachers like that. Everyone says to me, Oh my God,
• 1:14:41
  that's exactly my teacher in seminary, or that's exactly my
• 1:14:44
  teacher in high school. I don't recall having, that's
• 1:14:47
  why I never went to seminary in Israel.
• 1:14:49
  So I never got to experience that.
• 1:14:51
  But I don't think I ever had anyone like that in my life.
• 1:14:55
  But I think I've met so many people in my life that I just,
• 1:15:02
  you know, kind of like took from everywhere like a chameleon.
• 1:15:06
  Like I can talk to someone English and then all the sudden
• 1:15:08
  I'm talking like an English person.
• 1:15:10
  You know, that's just how I am. It just I, I, I look, I absorb,
• 1:15:14
  I learn and I and I do. So that's how it happened.
• 1:15:17
  And all of a sudden it blew up on social media.
• 1:15:19
  I like on YouTube. It just became huge.
• 1:15:22
  Like within a week was like so many views.
• 1:15:25
  And back in the day that was like a huge big deal.
• 1:15:27
  So then I did my Pesach one, which went like viral.
• 1:15:31
  The cleaning, cleaning and be moving the toilets and the whole
• 1:15:34
  thing and removing the outlets and putting on my like taking
• 1:15:38
  everything to extreme. And that's how I created this
• 1:15:41
  character. That's a very cute, naive
• 1:15:42
  character who only means well and is an extremist.
• 1:15:47
  You think, You know, it's just like kind of making fun of our
• 1:15:50
  culture, but in a not making fun kind of way.
• 1:15:53
  Right. I love it.
• 1:15:54
  I love that it happened. So when it when it got back to
• 1:15:58
  you that this is happening, right?
• 1:16:00
  Like what were you experiencing at that moment?
• 1:16:02
  Like, Oh my God, everybody. Oh my God, this is so cool,
• 1:16:04
  right? Yeah, fun.
• 1:16:05
  Enjoying. So fun.
• 1:16:06
  And then I did more, but then I said, Hashem, seriously, this is
• 1:16:09
  what I'm being known for. I want to freaking be in the
• 1:16:12
  movies and be a superstar and like act next to Brad Pitt if
• 1:16:16
  that's a possibility. Or today would be Chris
• 1:16:18
  Hemsworth. But like, I'm just saying like
• 1:16:20
  really? And then, but I was like, you
• 1:16:22
  know what, I got such positive feedback and so many people that
• 1:16:27
  met were messaging me. I want you to know that when I
• 1:16:30
  go through a hard time till today, by the way, 14 years
• 1:16:33
  later, when I go through a hard time, I put your video on and I
• 1:16:38
  just watched you cleaning for Pesach and all of the other ones
• 1:16:41
  as well, but specifically that one really.
• 1:16:44
  And to know that I'm making even one person happy and changing
• 1:16:48
  their day. I I know it sounds so cliche,
• 1:16:50
  like OK, whatever, but it really like it really did something.
• 1:16:54
  I'm like, just for that alone, I'm grateful, right?
• 1:16:58
  And do I want to be a movie in a superstar?
• 1:17:00
  Yes, if that ever happens. And if it's in my stars, yes.
• 1:17:05
  Like what? What would you think that would
• 1:17:07
  be like? Just curious.
• 1:17:08
  Quick answer on this one. Like what?
• 1:17:10
  You're starring in a movie and you're the main actress in a I
• 1:17:14
  don't. Care to be a main actress?
• 1:17:16
  I care to be someone who moves people in my acting.
• 1:17:19
  So whether it's acting as someone who's hilarious, you
• 1:17:26
  know, like a funny kind of character, like a Miss Hannigan,
• 1:17:31
  or if it was a cartoon, I would be like the Witch, you know what
• 1:17:36
  I mean? Like the character, the person
• 1:17:38
  who like, not the girl next door, the one who makes a
• 1:17:41
  difference, the one that has to act either scary or funny or
• 1:17:46
  schizophrenic or something crazy.
• 1:17:48
  Which is a good pick by the way? What other picks like do you
• 1:17:51
  remember? Like what were you inspired?
• 1:17:52
  Like what were you inspired? Miss Hannigan, I love.
• 1:17:55
  I Love Lucy. OK, great.
• 1:17:57
  I get, I get her a lot. Miss Hannigan I get a lot.
• 1:18:00
  Also. She's such a great character.
• 1:18:03
  Just in general. She was amazed.
• 1:18:04
  She's Are there shows and like characters today that you like
• 1:18:09
  laugh at? Like movies, like people that I
• 1:18:12
  think are. Fun.
• 1:18:13
  Yeah, like what exactly? Many, like Sebastian Miniscalco
• 1:18:16
  is one of the people that like, we used to watch them together.
• 1:18:18
  Like if you would be like, if you'll come see, like we used to
• 1:18:20
  love watching. I love stand up.
• 1:18:24
  Let's forward a little bit because we're running out of
• 1:18:26
  time. Yeah.
• 1:18:26
  So you, you did the character there, you know, 14 years,
• 1:18:30
  obviously enjoy. So when did it happen where you
• 1:18:32
  feel suddenly became that person because you were that person
• 1:18:35
  that everyone knew? October 7th.
• 1:18:37
  October 7th. OK.
• 1:18:38
  And why Sebastian like how did there are so many?
• 1:18:41
  Characters to watch it with me and I loved it.
• 1:18:44
  I would always be like, you know, I think I could be wrong.
• 1:18:47
  I think at the time I got my ex into it and my son like into
• 1:18:50
  comedy stand up like Oh my gosh, she's so funny and Michael
• 1:18:52
  McIntyre and like so many people that and I try to also pick
• 1:18:55
  clean. I don't like The Dirty.
• 1:18:57
  Which is a challenge, by the way, in today's.
• 1:18:59
  Kind of let me take that back. It's not that I don't like dirt,
• 1:19:02
  The Dirty comedians, I just dirty humor doesn't do it for
• 1:19:05
  me. I prefer clean and really funny.
• 1:19:07
  Because it's smarter comedy when you do it that way.
• 1:19:09
  And I think so, like otherwise I'll just stand up and just say
• 1:19:12
  the F word all day and make people laugh and hope.
• 1:19:14
  I'm like, oh wow, 5 Rotten Tomatoes for me, you know?
• 1:19:18
  But I just think it's clever and I just loved it so and it's and
• 1:19:22
  it's clean humor. So I would let my kids watch it,
• 1:19:24
  you know what I mean? Got it.
• 1:19:25
  So October 7th comes and he just.
• 1:19:27
  And he did this one video which which this lady was saying you
• 1:19:33
  guys have like, you know, Ben Shapiro and Amy Schumer, you
• 1:19:35
  know, you're on the wrong side. And he said no, no, no, you have
• 1:19:38
  so and so you're on the wrong side.
• 1:19:39
  And then it blew up. And then from then just went
• 1:19:43
  crazy. And then he got this opportunity
• 1:19:46
  to do actual stand up in the laugh Factory in LA.
• 1:19:52
  And I'm so proud of him. And I feel like I don't like I
• 1:19:59
  would have, I don't know if I would have done that, you know,
• 1:20:02
  like I'd be scared because I grew up with so much fear and so
• 1:20:05
  much like not having confidence because I didn't get it like I
• 1:20:09
  felt I should that I feel like, I don't know.
• 1:20:12
  I feel like he had a lot of confidence and he grew up with
• 1:20:15
  being loved and, and it pushed him to, you know, to do what he
• 1:20:21
  does. And it's, it's great.
• 1:20:23
  It's. Beautiful.
• 1:20:23
  I have to say congratulations to you.
• 1:20:26
  I love talking about the topic of what makes you proud as a
• 1:20:29
  parent. And it's evident that the
• 1:20:32
  confidence that he has, what makes you proud because you
• 1:20:34
  instilled that sense of security that people need in order to be
• 1:20:38
  confident. And my daughter is as well.
• 1:20:40
  My daughter did the Army all on her own.
• 1:20:42
  She left high school and she went, none of her friends were
• 1:20:46
  doing it. It was difficult.
• 1:20:48
  It was hard. She went to not like a lone
• 1:20:49
  soldier, like she went full on Army and she made aliyah and
• 1:20:54
  she's living there now. She has her own Instagram, she
• 1:20:57
  does devartoras. She's amazing human being and
• 1:21:00
  she's so confident and so and I'm so proud of my kids for
• 1:21:03
  that. We'll go out in Israel for a cup
• 1:21:06
  of Shoko or something that. 'D be amazing.
• 1:21:08
  Real like she's in Jerusalem. She's in Tel Aviv.
• 1:21:11
  Oh, you said Tel. Aviv, she's amazing.
• 1:21:12
  You would love her. Yeah.
• 1:21:13
  Yeah. So we should all get together.
• 1:21:14
  That would be great. I spent a lot of time there and
• 1:21:16
  yeah. You do as well.
• 1:21:17
  I do also. Yeah.
• 1:21:18
  Yeah, I would love it. Which is really, really nice.
• 1:21:20
  Before we wrap up, I have a couple of things for you on my
• 1:21:23
  checklist #1 is do you have any questions for me?
• 1:21:27
  I'd like to just. Who are you, what is your
• 1:21:30
  podcast and what am I doing here?
• 1:21:33
  I came blindly, literally. NASA Vanishma moments.
• 1:21:36
  Wow. Yeah, I don't.
• 1:21:37
  I don't even think. You should I just I remember
• 1:21:40
  meeting you and thinking that you're a nice guy, like you have
• 1:21:42
  a several panemia foots. Oh, here we go again.
• 1:21:45
  Yeah, that one. I know.
• 1:21:46
  My mother used to say I. Can't help you.
• 1:21:47
  You just have fame. Thank you.
• 1:21:48
  And you were like, do you want to be on the podcast?
• 1:21:50
  I'm like, OK, my friend's like, do you know what he does?
• 1:21:53
  I'm like, no, it doesn't matter. Thank you.
• 1:21:55
  I appreciate it so. I'm very happy I was here today,
• 1:21:57
  Thank you. And I don't.
• 1:21:59
  Where do you live in New York? So I travel mostly, but we're
• 1:22:03
  but you're we're Muncie, Miami and Israel 1-2 minute.
• 1:22:08
  And where's your wife from? That's the life, Faraqui.
• 1:22:11
  She's a Feldheim, but we didn't get even books for our wedding.
• 1:22:14
  But is it from the books? Feldheim.
• 1:22:16
  Yeah, I'm in one of their books. Really.
• 1:22:18
  Yep. What does that mean?
• 1:22:20
  We have to do this again. My first book of mitzvos, it's
• 1:22:24
  called, it's a book from back in the day when I moved to Harnoff.
• 1:22:28
  I'll tell you very quickly, I went into straight into Baisako
• 1:22:32
  where I got my major culture shock.
• 1:22:33
  And one day one of the photographers came in to do a
• 1:22:36
  book and I was there with my it's I had a sweatshirt on.
• 1:22:40
  I was all Australian like, but I had two braids just because I
• 1:22:44
  did, we called them plats in Australia.
• 1:22:47
  And, and I was wearing my Cherry Lane sweatshirt and I was
• 1:22:51
  davening and I was like trying to follow the words because it
• 1:22:53
  was quite new for me. And they took a picture.
• 1:22:56
  And then a year later I find out that I'm in it from someone
• 1:22:59
  who's like, oh, are you in the book, My first book of mitzvahs?
• 1:23:02
  And I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about.
• 1:23:04
  And then we bought it and there I am on the on the page of
• 1:23:07
  Tefila. I got to find that you have it.
• 1:23:10
  I do. OK, we're going to display it
• 1:23:11
  like right here. I do have it, I do, but yeah.
• 1:23:14
  So yeah. That's nice.
• 1:23:15
  So yeah. So she's she's from the Feldheim
• 1:23:17
  family. I'm sorry, we went right back to
• 1:23:18
  me. I tend to do that a lot.
• 1:23:21
  I'll be honest with you, I've learnt the most powerful thing I
• 1:23:24
  keep hearing about it when speaking to people is the is the
• 1:23:28
  strength of listening. And I say strength because it
• 1:23:31
  takes a lot of strength. There's so much I want to say
• 1:23:33
  while you're saying it. And I'm like me too, like, Oh my
• 1:23:36
  God, your mother, my mother too. But you have to learn to just.
• 1:23:40
  And the power of listening is so cool because you, even though I
• 1:23:43
  want to say what I want to say and I feel like I'm going to
• 1:23:45
  learn by saying that. I learned so much more by just
• 1:23:48
  keeping my mouth shut. And it's just such a good
• 1:23:50
  lesson. Hard to you now, I know.
• 1:23:54
  Me too. Literally, I'm like me.
• 1:23:58
  Too, That was great. That was great.
• 1:23:59
  Good for you, good for you, good for us by the way, that we
• 1:24:02
  experienced that. This has been such a fun ride
• 1:24:04
  and I, I really appreciate it. One of the other questions I ask
• 1:24:07
  is if you were to start a podcast tomorrow, who would be
• 1:24:10
  your first guest? Who would be your suggestion of
• 1:24:12
  someone who could sit in the seat and like really something
• 1:24:15
  to learn from, something to throw and.
• 1:24:18
  A good First of all, I do want to start a podcast.
• 1:24:20
  Yeah, yeah, because I meet so many different people with so
• 1:24:24
  many stories. I have a studio for you.
• 1:24:25
  Really. Right here.
• 1:24:26
  Oh, that's right. I'm also a little slow
• 1:24:30
  sometimes. Yeah.
• 1:24:33
  Who would I have? I really have to think about
• 1:24:35
  that. But there is a rabbi on
• 1:24:38
  Instagram that I love. I think he hits everything so
• 1:24:43
  perfectly. And he's so smart and he's
• 1:24:45
  emotionally very intelligent. And now ask me his name.
• 1:24:49
  What's his name? You'll send me his link?
• 1:24:56
  By Shy. Chase Tab yeah okay, you are the
• 1:25:00
  second person to recommend it and by this time we just have to
• 1:25:02
  have it happen. Yes, yes.
• 1:25:04
  I gotta get him on. Yeah.
• 1:25:06
  Every time he speaks, I'm like. But we don't know.
• 1:25:09
  Do you know him? I had a little conversation with
• 1:25:11
  him on Instagram for like a minute.
• 1:25:12
  He messaged back about something like a personal thing and I was
• 1:25:16
  like, wow. And then he got so big.
• 1:25:18
  I was like a little intimidated. But he's he's someone I would
• 1:25:21
  love to talk to, but he's so emotionally intelligent.
• 1:25:25
  Like there's not a lot of people that I've met that are
• 1:25:29
  emotionally intelligent. And I think you're only very
• 1:25:32
  emotionally tell intelligent if you go through a lot in life, it
• 1:25:36
  kind of rips you and you have to put it together, rips you and
• 1:25:39
  put it together and then you grow into this.
• 1:25:42
  Can you tell me a question of what would you ask him?
• 1:25:45
  Help help me help me. What would you say to him is
• 1:25:52
  we're like a but what would you ask someone like him?
• 1:25:54
  Like if I get him on, give me a question that you would love to
• 1:25:56
  ask him. Wow, It's also a hard one to
• 1:26:05
  really think about on because there's so many.
• 1:26:07
  But what would I ask him? Like I think what comes to mind
• 1:26:14
  is help me. How can I help myself truly calm
• 1:26:21
  down my nervous system and the trauma that kind of keeps coming
• 1:26:25
  back up and is triggered by certain things?
• 1:26:27
  How can I really like let that go?
• 1:26:30
  Because sometimes I'll be in a great place and then something
• 1:26:34
  happens that triggers that emotion and that emotion comes
• 1:26:38
  back so strongly. Probably I want to learn how to
• 1:26:41
  be less emotional, maybe how to be less.
• 1:26:44
  Like I could just start to cry all of a sudden.
• 1:26:47
  I'm like, I don't want to cry right now talking about this or
• 1:26:49
  I want to just have more compose, like be more composed.
• 1:26:53
  Even though I embrace my emotions and I embrace who I am,
• 1:26:57
  but at the same time I'm like, you're too emotional.
• 1:27:00
  But I don't want to be saying that about myself either.
• 1:27:03
  I'm not too much, but I would like to know how to balance, how
• 1:27:06
  to balance that and how to really work on the nervous
• 1:27:08
  system to stop kind of like looping.
• 1:27:11
  We loop a lot, you know, And of course there's many ways to do
• 1:27:15
  it and I know there are many ways to do it and I do a lot of
• 1:27:17
  those things, but I still find it difficult.
• 1:27:20
  So maybe that's one of the questions.
• 1:27:21
  That's actually a great one. I appreciate that and I hope to
• 1:27:23
  get him on and ask him please. This has been such a great, you
• 1:27:27
  know, I don't want to say interview, I want to say
• 1:27:29
  discussion, you know, a learning experience.
• 1:27:33
  Also, just you know, you're extremely funny and personable
• 1:27:36
  and always bringing in light to the room when you walk in.
• 1:27:39
  Thank you. But getting serious and and and
• 1:27:42
  finding that depth so easily in just the regular conversation
• 1:27:45
  with you is refreshing. Actually, thank you and it's
• 1:27:48
  really, really nice. So I just want to thank you for
• 1:27:49
  coming on and with such. Thank you for having me.
• 1:27:52
  It's. It was really, it was.
• 1:27:53
  It was beautiful. Do we have to go?
• 1:27:55
  Because I really like this. I think I could get used to
• 1:27:57
  this. Good.
• 1:27:58
  And if you want to do a podcast, my my true advice to you, even
• 1:28:03
  though it's unsolicited, is. Please tell me.
• 1:28:05
  Do it, but do it for a few weeks and do it and record it and have
• 1:28:10
  it in the bank and then do it. Correct.
• 1:28:12
  I actually thought about that. I thought about like, even if I
• 1:28:14
  do it, I wouldn't do one and then first let let me do a few
• 1:28:18
  like accumulate them and then be like, OK, now I can air it.
• 1:28:21
  Because the the unfortunate reality is in order to grow and
• 1:28:25
  you have to do it weekly. That's the challenge.
• 1:28:28
  And you could say, OK, now I'll do a bi weekly, I'll do a
• 1:28:30
  monthly when I have some, that's fine.
• 1:28:32
  But if you grow an audience and they cut, they get used to
• 1:28:36
  hearing you. They want to hear more of what
• 1:28:37
  you're putting out there. So my thing is trying to pick
• 1:28:41
  guests that are unique, interesting, growing from, you
• 1:28:45
  know, and, and even if you had discussions with other people,
• 1:28:48
  come on our podcast and let's get vulnerable and grow
• 1:28:50
  together. Correct.
• 1:28:51
  But also I think I would have people that are not known
• 1:28:54
  necessarily and don't have a place or or nobody knows about
• 1:28:59
  this. The regulars, if you want to
• 1:29:01
  call them that. People just that have life, that
• 1:29:05
  really are our audience at the end of the day.
• 1:29:07
  The people that follow you know me on social media that are just
• 1:29:11
  like having their hard time. I'm sorry, I thought you
• 1:29:13
  realized you're that person. That's not no.
• 1:29:15
  I'm the regular. Yeah, Cut, cut, cut.
• 1:29:20
  Let's do it. Thank.
• 1:29:22
  You so much to all of our subscribers, our listeners, our
• 1:29:24
  followers, keep the comments flowing.
• 1:29:27
  We love the feedback, positive, negative.
• 1:29:30
  As long as you're telling us how you feel, we will provide you
• 1:29:33
  with ongoing entertainment. That's our job here, right?
• 1:29:36
  Thanks to Steph and everyone on the Prime Source production team
• 1:29:39
  and the whole marketing team for doing such a great job and
• 1:29:42
  consistently being out there and pushing this to the world.
• 1:29:45
  And this was amazing. Danielle, thank you.
• 1:29:48
  Appreciate you. That's a rap you.
• 1:29:49
  Thanks. Thank you.
• 1:29:51
  Wow.