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Unstoppable · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: Hello out there to all of my listeners and I'd like to welcome you again to Is your Way In your Way podcast, and I'm your host, Cassandra Crawley-Mayo.
0:34
Cassandra: And for my new listeners today, let me share with you the reason.
0:38
Cassandra: The purpose of this podcast are for those individuals who are stuck, those individuals that want to like, get promoted in their jobs, wanna write a book, want to forgive somebody, want to just live their dreams and for some reason which I'm calling those self-imposed barriers that's preventing you to do so.
1:01
Cassandra: Because I'm on a mission, because I want you to start living your best life on your terms.
1:07
Cassandra: So we talk about topics related to personal business development.
1:16
Cassandra: Also, this will enable you to reflect, and I am hopeful that, as you hear these dynamic guests that I have, that you glean from it, and there's something that they've said that makes you like okay, I'm getting ready, unleash and I'm going to be unstoppable.
1:32
Cassandra: And today our topic is titled hashtag unstoppable.
1:36
Cassandra: And who better to talk to us about that is Victoria Pelletier.
1:43
Cassandra: Now, victoria, before we move forward, I want to make sure I'm pronouncing that last name correctly Pelletier, right?
1:51
Cassandra: No, pelletier Pelletier.
1:55
Cassandra: Okay, welcome to.
1:58
Cassandra: Is your Way, in your Way, and we are looking forward to hearing about that hashtag unstoppable.
2:05
Cassandra: But before we get started, I'd just like to read your bio in order for the listeners to learn a little bit about you before we delve into our discussion today.
2:17
Cassandra: Victoria 20-plus year corporate executive board director.
2:22
Cassandra: She's a bestselling author.
2:24
Cassandra: Influence Unleashed book is one of her titles to her book and she has another book called Unstoppable, and she's in the process of writing another book.
2:35
Cassandra: But anyway, she is known as the turnaround queen and CEO whisperer.
2:41
Cassandra: She drives growth and business leadership and culture by inspiring and empowering teams to change mindsets.
2:49
Cassandra: She's also a dynamic public speaker.
2:53
Cassandra: And you know what?
2:54
Cassandra: And the word is out that when she's done, you will be too.
2:58
Cassandra: Oh my goodness, she's going to say some things, that there are certain things that you will not forget and you will be in awe.
3:05
Cassandra: And her career milestone includes becoming a COO at 24, a president by 35, and a CEO at 41.
3:17
Cassandra: And look, listen to this Unstoppable right.
3:19
Cassandra: That's the name of the podcast.
3:21
Cassandra: She has been recognized as one of the 100 global outstanding LGBTQ executive, 2023 Women of Influence by South Florida's Business Journal and a Top 30 Most Influential Business Leader in Tech by CIO Look, among other accolades.
3:42
Cassandra: As a motivational speaker, she emphasizes whole human leadership, the importance of personal branding, your power of DEI and corporate cultures, and building resilience, diversity, equity and inclusion.
3:59
Cassandra: So Victoria, you have done a lot at such a young age.
4:05
Cassandra: But you know, I want to know what was your life like before becoming a corporate executive at the age of 24?
4:12
Cassandra: What was life like for you?
4:16
Victoria: Well, first of all, thank you for having me.
4:17
Victoria: I'm very happy to speak with you and provide some stories and insight to your listeners.
4:23
Victoria: Okay, I think, cassandra, my origin story, the lived experience I have, I actually think, is a big part of my why and how I am and who I am today, and I was afraid to share the stories.
4:42
Victoria: I think I was embarrassed by it, ashamed by it.
4:45
Victoria: Until only 10 to 12 years ago I embraced it and I think a lot of that came with age and self love and my early years were, you know, one of horror stories I'm.
5:00
Victoria: I'm born to a drug addicted teenage mother who was very abusive to me, you know, pushed upstairs, downstairs this one was not intentional, but carelessness a cigarette in my eye.
5:11
Victoria: I wore a patch for months, um, uh.
5:14
Victoria: The last words I heard her utter while I remained in her care was come and get her before I kill her and, um, so I'm fortunate that I was adopted out of that situation.
5:24
Victoria: Um, but I was adopted into a family while loving, and particularly my mother from a lower socioeconomic position.
5:35
Victoria: So never having money to go on vacations or, in many instances, go on my school field trips, I started working at age 11.
5:43
Victoria: I'm sure there are child labor laws now that probably wouldn't be allowed.
5:48
Victoria: At 14, I stepped into my first leadership role.
5:51
Victoria: I became the assistant manager of the shoe store that I worked at while I was in high school, and then I've always held multiple jobs.
6:00
Victoria: At one point, even as an executive, I've always had a side hustle or business that I've made, and so the journey to become a COO at age 24, and, by the way, a brand new mother my first was only a few months old at that point was a result of me being comfortable with change.
6:22
Victoria: And again, I think that goes back to childhood and the ability to take risk, because I had been working for many years at that point through university at a bank and got promoted up through their ranks running large banking call center operations, and I got the call to go and be, you know, leading all functions of this business except for finance.
6:42
Victoria: It was an outsourcing company that had large banking clients, that was predominantly contact centers.
6:58
Cassandra: I did come with many skills already, but it was a big stretch role for me, like the manager and then the COO.
7:07
Cassandra: And what was it about?
7:09
Cassandra: What was it about Victoria?
7:11
Cassandra: You think, based on your background and where you came from, and I understand we're unstoppable, but it's something about you.
7:20
Victoria: I think there's a few things.
7:21
Victoria: I do believe there is something innately in my DNA Fight or flight, I'm a fighter, connected to that, I am competitive and so I want to succeed.
7:34
Victoria: I want to do well.
7:35
Victoria: I also think that I was determined to be better than my biology or circumstance, and so I, you know, viewed success very differently in my 20s, than I did getting into my 30s and now into my late 40s.
7:54
Victoria: And for me, success was and, by the way, I actually wanted to be a lawyer.
7:58
Victoria: I think my mom had me watching the TV series LA Law with her back in the 80s, so that was the goal, but I ended up loving the business world.
8:08
Victoria: That was the goal, but I ended up loving the business world, and so for me, I saw success as moving up the corporate ladder.
8:14
Victoria: With that comes greater responsibility, comes greater compensation.
8:18
Victoria: I also viewed success as having material wealth that I did not have growing up, but I will also say that I love the complexity that was offered to me in the business, to business environments and companies that I was in.
8:33
Victoria: And I truly love my role as a leader, coaching, guiding the business and, specifically, individuals.
8:41
Cassandra: Wow, that is something.
8:44
Cassandra: Now I'm going to make this assumption that you've overcome a lot of things in your life and, as you indicated, you were even.
8:56
Cassandra: It took you a while I guess 12 years, you said to really start being more authentic and open about things.
9:03
Cassandra: So, with that said, how do you believe you overcame it?
9:31
Cassandra: Or, like I said, maybe you haven't overcome, but something has happened.
9:36
Cassandra: All of that childhood abuse, I would say because a lot of my listeners have gone through similar things and they're still holding on to it.
9:43
Cassandra: You know, they can't seem to get going because this happened to me and this happened to me, and they also say, well, it was because my childhood is like an excuse.
9:54
Victoria: Yeah, I believe resilience although again, there's an element of that that is innate and so, as I talk about DNA but I also believe it's like a muscle, that you can flex it, and I've learned how to develop what I refer to as healthy resilience.
10:13
Victoria: And that means you actually need to process and deal with the trauma and the adversity you know to be able to move forward.
10:20
Victoria: And you know, none of us can control all of the things that are going to come our way.
10:27
Victoria: There's going to be challenge and adversity that we are not in control.
10:30
Victoria: There's much we can control, but what we are always in control of is how we are going to react or respond to it, and I don't mean the initial emotion.
10:40
Victoria: I'm an extremely emotional individual.
10:42
Victoria: I am fast to feeling that emotion, whether it's anger, sadness, you name it.
10:48
Victoria: It's anger, sadness, you name it.
10:49
Victoria: Tears I write commercials.
10:51
Victoria: Allow the emotion, but how you move forward, and so not only do I sign my social media posts with hashtag unstoppable.
11:03
Cassandra: The second one is hashtag no excuses, Right, right we can't fit in that victimhood.
11:06
Victoria: We control how we think about, the and work through, you know, the, the, the challenge or the adversity.
11:15
Victoria: So our thoughts, our language, our actions and behavior are within our control and you might need support with that, whether it's through friends and family or it might be professional help.
11:25
Victoria: That's how I've been able to a combination of flexing and building a stronger level of resilience, which means this choosing to move forward and choosing to achieve the goal or objective even if there's an obstacle.
11:40
Victoria: That comes my way.
11:41
Cassandra: OK, now, during that time, did you have you know?
11:45
Cassandra: People always say be careful who you hang out with because they can be influencers.
11:47
Cassandra: People always say be careful who you hang out with because they can be influencers.
11:51
Cassandra: Did you have somebody in your circle that was an influence, was an inspiration?
11:56
Cassandra: Or because, as I share with my listeners, you can't do stuff by yourself.
12:01
Cassandra: Some things you can do alone, but sometimes you know you need support, you need resources to help you.
12:06
Cassandra: So, during this process, did you have anybody in your life like that that was very helpful and encouraging and motivating?
12:15
Victoria: I, uh, I attribute my ability to have developed this level of resilience and um, to actually my mom.
12:22
Victoria: My adoptive mother was, uh, and I hated it as a teenager, but she would sit me down and she's like Tori, we need to talk through this.
12:29
Victoria: Why are you acting and doing these things and trying to sort of, you know, unpack things back then and I hated it, but I had the ability to do that, that self-reflection and self-awareness was critical to being able to move forward.
12:42
Victoria: So my mom was the first and then, I do, you know, thank a handful of people in my life since then you know both my ex and I was married to a woman, initially my ex wife who unfortunately passed away from from cancer a number of years ago, and my husband now as my partners in my life, who've really supported me and also my best friend of the last 15 years or so who've been there for me, and sometimes it's not always to get advice, sometimes it's just to be the sounding board and listen.
13:13
Cassandra: Yeah, I understand, you talked about you.
13:16
Cassandra: Know you're emotional, but I was.
13:19
Cassandra: I was reading something about you where they nicknamed you the iron maiden.
13:25
Cassandra: Now how for a person who is emotional and perceived by others as an iron maiden and executive leadership that first role at 24?
13:36
Victoria: you know, as a young like new, 24 year old, brand new mother, only female, only queer person, youngest by two decades.
14:01
Victoria: That exacerbated the um uh, imposter syndrome.
14:07
Victoria: I don't necessarily love that phrase, but it's one that would be well understood, and so I wore a mask at work.
14:12
Victoria: I said, I didn't tell my story so openly until 10 or 12 years ago.
14:18
Victoria: I was embarrassed by it.
14:19
Victoria: So, one I never would have shared that.
14:22
Victoria: Two I wasn't going to show the fact that I have emotions and that I'm vulnerable, because I didn't want anyone to question how I'd earned my seat at the table.
14:32
Cassandra: And so.
14:33
Victoria: I showed up you know a certain way at work, and I feel like I took that mask off when I went out.
14:38
Victoria: So I was very I've always actually been very strong at delivering business results and managing a lot of change and transforming the businesses, and often that's come with making really tough decisions.
14:50
Victoria: But I never showed the emotional impact and that it was.
14:54
Victoria: It caused me great pain to do that.
14:57
Victoria: And so I think I was 28 years old when I learned that I had a nickname as the iron maiden and that was great for business.
15:04
Victoria: But like all business, all the time I was tough at these decisions.
15:08
Cassandra: Yes.
15:09
Victoria: That crushed me, cassandra, because that isn't who I am.
15:14
Victoria: My nickname now is Turtle.
15:16
Victoria: I do have a tough shell.
15:18
Victoria: I can show significant adversity.
15:20
Victoria: I am soft on the inside and I will let that be seen.
15:25
Cassandra: Wow.
15:25
Cassandra: So I can.
15:26
Cassandra: I can imagine how liberating it was for you to expose who your true self was, and I share that because I have a chapter in my book about dear women who wear masks.
15:39
Cassandra: And it's the same thing.
15:40
Cassandra: I wore a mask for years and that's what took me so long to write the book, because I didn't want to be exposed.
15:45
Cassandra: I didn't want people to know my vulnerable side, you know, because I was tough.
15:50
Cassandra: You know I was a manager and I was a VP and so I get that.
15:54
Cassandra: But I know for you and for me it was just liberating to just to expose yourself.
16:03
Victoria: It absolutely was.
16:03
Victoria: I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
16:08
Cassandra: That's good, because I know I have listeners who are still what I call just holding stuff in, you know, and so I wanted them to hear that part about how you just got to a point in your life which probably a lot has to do with experience and maturity and all that that you felt comfortable enough to be open.
16:29
Cassandra: I'd like to know could you share your personal journey on being the youngest executive, being LGBTQ community member and just the soul woman, because all of those are, I would say, can just definitely have adversity into that, Just being that.
16:52
Cassandra: I know myself being the first African-American female, you know all of those things, but, what was your personal journey, shedding light on your experiences?
17:03
Victoria: It's the intersection of all of those create complexity, much like you for yourself, as you said, an African-American woman the intersection of those, not to mention all the other elements of diversity and lived experience.
17:16
Victoria: So for me I have felt like especially in the early days, I see it, but I don't feel it so much anymore but I felt like I was the only one in so many ways, and I literally was the only woman sitting at the executive table.
17:32
Victoria: I was the youngest, by two decades.
17:36
Victoria: I'm no longer the youngest, but I have the opposite problem transition.
17:43
Victoria: And you know, recently, and you know, and recruiters were telling me to take off some of my experience because even though I'm only 48, I've been doing it for so long they're worried that people would think I was much older.
17:55
Victoria: And then there's also ageism.
17:56
Victoria: So it's interesting and then also, as at the time, the only out, you know, LBGTQ person period there were very few who were.
18:05
Victoria: I came out at 14 as bisexual and, you know, met my wife in my early twenties and, you know, took her, you know, out.
18:12
Victoria: So for me, that's where the mask came in, in addition to my childhood trauma, because I felt like I needed to show up, you know a certain way.
18:20
Victoria: And so I, you know I've had responses everything to like my queerness in terms of you're not coming with me to this client meeting because he was a very religious, you know of mine, and he didn't support my lifestyle to.
18:35
Victoria: You know, there's vernacular and words that are used to describe women with the same traits that are given very different names to men, right?
18:45
Victoria: So for men it will be called assertive, whereas I would be called aggressive or the B word, and so, like that, I've dealt with a lot and I still experience that I think of.
18:56
Victoria: You know.
18:57
Victoria: I've spent a lot of time, you know, in technology companies as well, where there are generally fewer women, but still, like I was leading a meeting probably four years ago.
19:07
Victoria: I walked into our largest boardroom.
19:11
Victoria: I was the senior leader, you know, running this.
19:13
Victoria: It was myself and one other woman and 40, men in the room.
19:20
Victoria: Like, clearly we still have so much more to go.
19:25
Victoria: Oh my gosh, I wore the mask because I wanted to prove something I want.
19:30
Victoria: You know, in a sea full of faces that didn't look like mine or without the same kind of, I've just embraced it.
19:38
Victoria: I am who I am.
19:39
Victoria: I'm going to bring all of me authentically experience.
19:44
Victoria: I have my, you know emotions and my vulnerable, all of these pieces.
19:48
Victoria: That's why I talk about being a whole human.
19:51
Victoria: I actually found that is much more effective in all facets, whether it's leadership and business, and even in my personal life.
20:00
Cassandra: Yes, I get it.
20:01
Cassandra: I definitely get it.
20:02
Cassandra: It's kind of like, yeah, the stereotypical thing, and how tough that would be to exude that.
20:11
Cassandra: So why were you called the?
20:13
Cassandra: I think your colleagues called you the turnaround queen and the CEO whisperer yeah, what is that?
20:23
Victoria: Turnaround queen I got many years ago and that's a result of.
20:27
Victoria: I have been fairly effective at taking distressed businesses or divisions of companies and being able to turn them around.
20:35
Victoria: And I've now been a part of or supported some of my clients with approximately 40 mergers, acquisition or related transactions and most of those mean integration and tough business decisions and achieving synergies and greater profitability.
20:53
Victoria: So I've been successful at that.
20:54
Victoria: So that's where and I don't shy away from it I'm typically the one who's like give me the hard stuff.
20:59
Victoria: I don't want the status quo.
21:00
Victoria: So that's a turnaround queen and ceo.
21:06
Victoria: Whisperer um was actually named that, that nickname that one of my colleagues gave me.
21:11
Victoria: Most recently I had been working for Accenture and I was brought into the organization to help lead their CEO and board transformation business.
21:20
Victoria: So working with the C-suite and boards on strategic initiatives, et cetera, and in part because I've held C-suite roles before very relatable, you know.
21:30
Victoria: There's just trust and credibility that comes when I talk to those people.
21:33
Victoria: But where I'm very different is the radical candor that I bring to that.
21:38
Victoria: In the world of management, consulting and many businesses, often we don't want to tell clients what they need to hear.
21:45
Victoria: We tell them what they want to hear.
21:46
Victoria: Yeah, like I'm going to tell you.
21:48
Victoria: I said to one CEO, remember saying, patrick, you did not hire our organization, nor am I leading this engagement with our team to tell you what you want to hear.
21:58
Victoria: I'm going to tell you what you need to hear and you're not going to like it, but the ability to do that, actually that builds great trust.
22:07
Victoria: That's how I got nicknamed, that CEO whisperer.
22:12
Victoria: I wear it proudly.
22:13
Cassandra: Okay, good for you, good for you.
22:16
Cassandra: There's definitely some similarities there.
22:18
Cassandra: I was also a turnaround person as well.
22:21
Cassandra: Anything that had problems, send me in to fix them.
22:27
Cassandra: Yeah, so yeah, it's real interesting.
22:29
Cassandra: And then when I would go in to fix things, or, you know, many of my clients would see C-Suite clients and I've had people to say, oh, you must be the CEO's assistant.
22:41
Cassandra: You know things like that, like, why do you say I knew, knew why he said it, but you know, I just love it.
22:48
Cassandra: Like, actually I'm not, you know, um, so I get it.
22:53
Cassandra: So, because of the obstacles that you've been through, what do you believe has been the best thing that has happened to you out of all of those?
23:04
Victoria: obstacles.
23:05
Victoria: Oh, when I became a mom, there's nothing like it.
23:10
Victoria: I mean you know, as I said, I define success very differently and you know I look back on it now and you know I raised two really good human beings.
23:20
Victoria: My kids are 24 and the youngest will be 20 later.
23:23
Victoria: This week.
23:26
Victoria: And you know that just it was so symbolic.
23:29
Victoria: My, my mom, got upset with me for naming my older son Zoe.
23:34
Victoria: It means life in Greek, and no, I'm not Greek, but being adopted and not having any blood connections bringing life into this world.
23:43
Victoria: So that was the name I would choose, even whether I was having a boy or a girl.
23:47
Victoria: I gave him a very masculine name if he wanted to go by that, but six foot four and he looks like a Viking.
23:52
Victoria: No one's messing with him.
23:53
Victoria: Zoe or Zoe.
23:54
Victoria: That fundamentally changed me and I actually think, as they got older and I started talking to them about their own emotions and how they showed up, I think that helped open me up to the world.
24:07
Victoria: I started hearing more of myself.
24:10
Cassandra: That's good, I like that.
24:11
Cassandra: You said it's the children.
24:13
Cassandra: It's the children when it all comes down to it.
24:16
Cassandra: Wow, yeah, you talked about branding and networking, being a networking leader.
24:22
Cassandra: What do you believe are the key elements to personal?
24:27
Cassandra: Before I ask you that, what, victoria?
24:29
Victoria: what would you, what is your brand?
24:31
Victoria: I worked very hard to build a strong personal brand and I will encourage your listeners.
24:38
Victoria: You could just Google me and I will like that.
24:40
Victoria: This is 20 plus years of focusing on brand, even though I don't think I had the vernacular and I knew what I was doing, but it was when I stepped into that first executive role and it's because I needed to differentiate our company and those of us that sat in front of clients.
24:54
Victoria: So if you were to look at my brand a little bit of the way you know you've done the introduction in my bio.
25:01
Victoria: So I'm known for the things that I do of corporate executive and turnaround, the fact that I'm an author, I'm a speaker, but what you will also know very quickly when you look at me and as I describe my brand is my focus on things like social justice and equity and DEI, specifically the fact that I really want to do the right thing in business and that we can show up as our whole human selves.
25:30
Victoria: So for me, you know I will tell you that there's, I believe there's four key fundamentals and foundational elements to building a brand, and so most people just talk about the first one, which is your subject matter expertise, like what do you do, what industry do you do it in and what success you've achieved.
25:51
Victoria: But that's just scratching the surface.
25:53
Victoria: In the world that we're in, particularly digital age, you know, it's and it's always been people do business with people that they like and trust and want to do business with.
26:04
Victoria: So, beyond what you do and who you do it for, you need to talk about who you are as a human okay passions, interests, values, some of the experience that you can bring to the world that builds connection with people.
26:19
Victoria: Okay.
26:19
Victoria: And then the next part is what makes you different from others.
26:23
Victoria: Now, those last two are very interconnected who you are and what makes you different for me me, you know, I talked about, you know my values around diversity and inclusion and doing the right thing.
26:32
Victoria: That's very much who I am.
26:34
Victoria: And then I also talked about my radical candor.
26:36
Victoria: That is who I am, but it's also a big differentiator for me in business.
26:39
Victoria: Okay, the last one is legacy and impact, and what are?
26:44
Victoria: you known for, so you know, for me there was a big shift, you know, you know, to you know being known purely for my achievements in business, to who I am as a human and creating communities in the world at large, making them more just and leaving this world in a better place.
27:02
Victoria: And when I came into it, do you think that came?
27:05
Cassandra: a lot of that came from your childhood, because you initially wanted to be an attorney, right, and you could have been an attorney for just I don't know there's so many different types of attorneys out there but just the direction that you're going in and you also.
27:21
Cassandra: I believe misfits was something else that you used to talk about, like you, not that you were okay with misfits or you were what, what did they say?
27:34
Cassandra: Something about how, what?
27:38
Cassandra: No, not the status quo.
27:40
Cassandra: You kind of embraced misfits.
27:42
Cassandra: Is that correct?
27:44
Victoria: Yeah, I very much do.
27:46
Victoria: So I mean, I don't want the status quo and I actually don't want to surround my myself with people who want the status quo.
27:54
Victoria: Let's shake things up.
27:56
Victoria: And misfits probably, you know, a, maybe not even the best choice of a word anymore.
28:03
Victoria: As I think about that, I'd probably evolve that and change it Like like it's about embracing diversity period.
28:10
Victoria: None of us are misfits.
28:12
Victoria: We are all unique.
28:13
Cassandra: Yes.
28:14
Victoria: And I want to embrace everyone's uniqueness and that uniqueness, brought to the table, is like, creates innovation and, in business, that actually drives it.
28:27
Victoria: This is not just the right thing to be doing and that's why I surround myself with misfits unique people with very different experiences, backgrounds than myself.
28:41
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, I asked that question in regards to you know, your background of things you've been through is a catalyst to the things you do, not status quo.
28:55
Cassandra: You like to like to shuffle things a little bit, which you talked about.
29:01
Cassandra: How innovation comes.
29:02
Cassandra: When you do that, we actually learn from differences.
29:06
Cassandra: You's not the same, and I said that because of my experience being the first African-American female the only one in the room, as you indicated.
29:19
Cassandra: I don't think it was 40 white men, but there were a lot of men, but they were a lot of men, and I remember taking a position in diversity and inclusion and it was amazing, because of my backstory, how I just had this passion with it to help people understand the differences and why they're important, and I'm okay and we'd have the same blood and we go to the bathroom the same way, you know.
29:47
Cassandra: So that's why I was curious, because my, a lot of mine was driven, by my, my background and things that I've been through.
29:55
Cassandra: So I was curious to did you think a lot of that had to do with your background?
30:01
Victoria: Um, I I think it's always it very much informs, or is my why, to quote from Simon Sinek, like I think again, it's what's caused a lot of my drive and the fact that I'm not going to let I'm not letting anything stop me and even in many instances, that's my own fear.
30:22
Victoria: I'm not going to let it prevent me or insecurities of recognizing I'm the only only, I'm only at the table not going to stop me.
30:30
Victoria: So, yes, I do think you know my, my lived experiences, and particularly as a child, have helped that.
30:37
Victoria: But again, I think there's elements of the fact that I'm highly competitive and and it just extremely driven to accomplish period and probably from my backstory, but I just I'm I played sports all my life right Same thing, all of those things kind of contribute to me just being, you know, maniacally focused on achieving outcomes, whether that's personal or professional.
31:01
Cassandra: Right, right.
31:02
Cassandra: So right now you are are very clear on your purpose, very clear, and I also know that purposes can change too, depending on life events, what goes on, and you are.
31:18
Cassandra: It's a blessing to know what it is, because there's so many people that are really trying hard to figure out what it is that they're supposed to do.
31:27
Cassandra: So, with that said, I'd like for you to provide my listeners with some takeaways that they can apply immediately to thrive personally and professionally, like what are some actionable steps that they could do?
31:45
Victoria: So I recently, I recently gave that.
31:48
Victoria: It's a TED talk actually I'm excited for it'll be live on the their website soon on healthy resilience and I think this is there.
31:57
Victoria: There's what you know, five steps, I believe, to developing a healthy level of resilience.
32:01
Victoria: The first is being very clear on your goal, your objective.
32:06
Victoria: That acts as the anchor and should always tether you when stuff is whirlwind around you.
32:13
Victoria: The next is what I told you.
32:15
Victoria: My mom helped me with self-reflection and self-awareness.
32:18
Victoria: Why am I having this angst or whatever the emotion is around this initial like reaction and understanding that the next is what I refer to as strategic intentionality, and that is the no excuses part.
32:34
Victoria: You need to model the thinking, the language, the actions and behavior that move you forward, connected to your goal.
32:42
Victoria: And then fourth is surrounding yourself with community.
32:43
Victoria: You asked me a question about people around me, and not only surround is surrounding yourself with community.
32:45
Victoria: You asked me a question about people around me, and not only surround yourself, but sometimes extricate yourself from people who don't support you, but find a trusted circle that are going to support your goal and vision, challenge you when you need it and help identify your blind spots.
33:03
Victoria: And sometimes it does actually mean professional help, particularly depending on the kind of trauma or adversity you've dealt with.
33:09
Victoria: And the last in that is giving yourself permission to fail.
33:13
Victoria: We all you know just remember like one foot in front of the other is progress.
33:19
Victoria: When you fail, just get back up and anchor back to step one, and so you know I'd leave them like.
33:25
Victoria: I think that that's been so key to my ability to be unstoppable.
33:29
Victoria: I mean what I've set for myself is learning that kind of healthy resilience.
33:37
Cassandra: How do you balance?
33:39
Cassandra: You know you talk about work, life balance and self care, and you know burnout is something that going on.
33:47
Cassandra: So how do you, based on your drive and being unstoppable, um uh, how do you balance all of that?
33:57
Cassandra: Plus you have your children who are young adults.
34:01
Cassandra: So how do you do that?
34:03
Victoria: balance.
34:03
Victoria: That for For me, it's it's I people refer to work life balance.
34:08
Victoria: For me it's about integration, it's all life, and so a few things for me, you know, in that I do believe you can have it all, just not always at the same time and or not without compromise or trade-offs, and hopefully you'll learn how to make the compromise or trade-off for your professional life or your personal life at the times that it's most meaningful yeah.
34:34
Victoria: I, um.
34:35
Victoria: And then the next thing would be you know, I've chosen to not do things that don't bring me personal or professional joy or value.
34:43
Victoria: I say no, or I outsource.
34:46
Victoria: So I've been able to do all of this by, again, really supportive partners.
34:50
Victoria: And when the children were younger yes, we had a nanny I spent like 80% of the time on the road.
34:55
Victoria: At one point, I missed a lot of things.
34:58
Victoria: When my ex wife passed away, I ended up changing companies because I couldn't find a role in a short enough time frame that would get me off the road 80% of the time as a single parent.
35:12
Victoria: Yes, those are the kind of tradeoffs you make and I think if my children were to look back now are they going to remember that I missed a lot of hockey games at some point or some other event.
35:25
Victoria: So I think what they're going to remember is I was there for them when they needed me the most, but I never had to trade my executive career for being a wife and a mother.
35:36
Cassandra: Never Excellent.
35:38
Cassandra: That's good to hear.
35:39
Cassandra: That's good to know, because a lot of people struggle with that Actually, right, yeah, I've even heard men say you know, once you have a baby, you really won't be present here.
35:52
Cassandra: I've actually heard them say that you know.
35:55
Cassandra: I'm like are you crazy?
35:56
Cassandra: You know, it's like I was one of the boys when that slipped out.
35:59
Cassandra: I'm like what are you talking about?
36:01
Cassandra: So I applaud you for your diversity and inclusion work that you've done.
36:08
Cassandra: You're overcoming those obstacles and, although it may sound easy but I'm certain that it wasn't easy, because that has made you the woman that you are today how can my listeners get in touch with you?
36:28
Victoria: that you are today.
36:29
Victoria: How can my listeners get in touch with you?
36:31
Victoria: I did jokingly say Google me, but I say that only just to reconfirm that I've spent a lot of time and do coaching and know a thing or two about personal branding.
36:38
Victoria: The easiest way, cassandra, is my website, which is victoria-pelliercom, and I'm sure you'll have it in the show notes, so they don't need to figure out how to spell that Pelleticom, and I'm sure you'll have it in the show notes, so they don't need to figure out how to spell that.
36:50
Victoria: And from there, that's where I post podcasts that I, you know I appear on that.
36:53
Victoria: But also, if they want to go on LinkIn out and connect with me on the other social platforms, they can do it directly from there.
37:01
Cassandra: Okay, great, and I'm looking forward to that TED Talk.
37:05
Cassandra: I saw that in your information, but I couldn't find it, so I was glad you said it hadn't come out yet.
37:12
Victoria: Yeah, it takes a few months, from two to three months from when you deliver it before it actually makes it onto the website.
37:17
Cassandra: Well, I'm looking forward to hearing it.
37:19
Cassandra: Well Victoria, for your time and thank you so much, for your insights.
37:26
Cassandra: You have definitely shed some nuggets and also you sprinkled some diamonds around that I think people will glean from.
37:33
Cassandra: And I asked my listeners I'm certain that this discussion has sparked some things in many and for them to share this podcast, and this, too, shall also be on all social media sites as well.
37:49
Cassandra: So, thanks again, Victoria, and to my listeners.