Latest / Chavadi: The Meeting Place / Episode #19 - Shashank Shetty

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Episode #19 - Shashank Shetty · Chavadi: The Meeting Place

• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there, or as we say in Tulu, Namaskara.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Chowdi.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Chawdi means the meaning place.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Architecturally, it is a veranda, sometimes outside a home, sometimes within, always to welcome guests, to swap stories, debate the news, and pass the time together.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode, we will bring you voices that reflect the rich tapestry of life, memories from childhood, lessons learned along the way, and the moments that stay with us forever.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Some humorous, some poignant, but always special.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Lalita Chetty.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Sidan Chetty.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Today we invite you to our chakti.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Today we have Shishank Shetty.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Shishank has lived in Austin for 21 years.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: He's married to Shweta Shetty, and they have two kids, Truv and Sanvi.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Shishank and Cole.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: How are you doing today?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'm doing good.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me here, Siddhanta.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Shashank, for being here.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I know we've troubled you for a long time.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm excited to talk to you today.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Chowdi.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: We can get started.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about your childhood first.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I know you initially mentioned your dad was in banking, so he moved around a lot growing up.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: So tell us more about the experience of being a lot more mobile when during your childhood and how that really affected maybe your childhood or how you grew up or how flexible you are, things like that.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: I think uh actually, when you go uh especially when you're growing up, when you move around a lot, so I feel like either you become an introvert or an extrovert.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: And uh I feel like I have become more of an introvert eventually.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe because of that experience or not.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: But when I was growing up, I did like that experience, except for the fact that I had to make new friends every three years or four years.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but other than that, it's actually uh there's no safe spot for you.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: You're moving all the time.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: And and it and I knew that like after three years, we're gonna move out to some other place.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, absolutely.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I think some places you mentioned you grew up in Hasan, Chennai, Jaipur.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: So you moved around not even within South India, but also parts of North India and everything, right?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: So you really have a you got exposed to a lot of lots of different subcultures within India, which is pretty interesting.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Did you uh have to learn the languages everywhere you went?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know we had Manish on our show, whose dad was also in banking, also traveled a lot.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, did you have to learn languages, new languages?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: So my uh so interestingly, so what happened was in when we were in Hasan, so my uh parents moved both me and my brother to uh Kendrick, which is central school.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: And central school is they had schools all over the country in most of the bigger cities, uh and uh their curriculum were exactly the same.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: It was actually made for people who move a lot, like army and central government employees and banking.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that would have helped you.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: So Hindi was the language you learned everywhere?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Hindi is the way, yeah.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: Hindi is the second language, English is the primary language, and then okay, okay.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure that helped a lot and helped your younger siblings.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Were you the good big brother everywhere you went?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm not sure.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: So we'll have to get them on the podcast to ask, or do you have any fun stories about being the big brother?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh uh, yeah.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: So me and my brother were just three years apart, just like Sani and Drew.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: But uh and we did fight a lot.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: So uh and uh my sister is almost nine and a half years younger than me.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: So she was like by the when she was born, I was already 10 years old.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: So that was a different dynamic.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, okay.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I know you also mentioned you used to go to Coco Bal a lot um for your summer vacations.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: You guys had a family temple there, but then you guys also you also used to hang out with your grandmother's sister, which had a major influence on you in terms of religions, beliefs.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: I know she was a pretty avid um reader, so tell us more about that.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: So uh so one thing our parents did was like every summer vacation we spent in Kolkabel or like you know, like now Kolkabel, and then we used to go from there to Halnad, which is my dad's uh uh where my dad grew up, and then there's also Eltre, which is uh where my mother grew up, but like my grandmother and her sister used to live in Kolkabel, so we ended up going there uh most of the time.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: So uh one of the nice things about Kulkabel was so because our family was associated with the temple, and uh someone from the family had to be there every night for the puja.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: So my grandmother used to go every night, so I used to tag along, I and my brother used to tag along every single day.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I think uh I did that, I'm like I continued to do that till I actually till I was in 10th or 11th, 12th, I guess, and I think 10th, I guess.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: After that, the frequency of going to Kolkabai came down.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing, uh Shashank, you also like like you said, you were exposed to a lot of Bant traditions and things when you went to Kolkabai, more than maybe when you were traveling all around India.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: So is there something that equates to Bant for you?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you hear the word bunt, is there something that comes to your mind or anything traditional that you that made an impression on you?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: So for me, bhant means I think mostly are related to kulkebal.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: So whenever you say bant, I actually think about kulkebal because and I feel I mean, this is me, this is just my band's rituals or uh uh traditions are not much different from a broad-based Hindu ritual or tradition.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: So most of these traditions are regionalized, right?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: Every region will have their own traditions.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: So pretty much everyone in South Kendra will have a similar tradition, and Bant is also one of those kind of, you know, is in that category, I guess.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: So for me, I always think about like uh Kolkebel.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: When I think about Bhant, I also I think about like temple visits, and then I think about Ekshagana, Kola, or uh, you know, like any of the, you know, like we had this uh Garadi and uh in uh Uru.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: So so I guess, but that's not exclusively bunt, I would say.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, yeah, it's yeah, and I know a lot some of many of our uh guests have talked about the kola, people have seen the movie Kantara and kind of know what kola is.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Can you expand a little bit about Yakshagana?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because we just for our listeners, can you talk a little more about what Yakshagana is?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um I'm like, I'm not a good Yeah, you're not an expert.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're not saying you are, and you're not on the witness box, so it's just your opinions.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know much about Ekshagana in the sense that like the only thing I know is I I it's a form of folk dance that actually was used to depict our Puranas.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: So or so I don't want to call it mythology.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: People have this habit of calling things as mythology, right?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Mythology is myth.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and the word mythology came because British actually called it mythology.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: So uh it's actually something misnomered.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: We should never call our so because our ancestors called this called it had certain names for everything.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like uh Ramayana and Mahabharata are called ittihas.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: Ittihas means this is how it happened, which is history history.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh history in the history is called it, yeah.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: So and then um uh the other things are called Puranas or like you know, they have different names for uh different texts or literature.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: So I prefer to call it as Puranas.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: Puranas mean certain stories.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, they may be, you know, there are legends and stuff like that, but they are that doesn't so the Puranas are not necessarily everything is historically accurate, whereas Mahamarata and Ramayana are specifically called history because they're accurate historically.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: So the Yakshagana is more a storytelling form of some st, you know, like whatever story people.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, either from the Ramayana, Mahabharata, or any of these either Puranic text.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: So uh so basically that's a way you can that's a way to educate people, right?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: So tell stories and it's also a form of entertainment.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I remember going for some, and they're just so full of life and colour, and you know, when you watch the Yakshagana.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, we also talked uh Sashank a little bit about the Vijay Vashmi celebrations.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, for most people we talk about Diwali, Ganeshta Turpi as some of our celebrations, but I feel like you said, may some of it may have come from other cultures, people moving around.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: You you absorb the tradition or the festival of a place where you're at.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: But Vijay Dashmi is very uh like it's followed or it's celebrated in the South a lot.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Can you tell us a little more of what you remember about Vijay Dashmi?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I'm not putting you on a witness box, we're not swearing to anything, it's just your opinions and your memories.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: So this is what I remember.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Vijay Dashmi is actually celebrated as it's I think it's called Hosto.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Hostu means uh new.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: So we eat new rice uh on that day.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: Again, this is I'm going by memory, and maybe it's uh so uh if you go to uh South Chandra, so they actually have don't remember the exact words.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: So basically, like uh rice is grown in June, July, because it's the monsoon, right?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like so basically that's when they actually till the on the plough the land and then the plant the uh uh but before that I think the the I think they I think I think they do it once before in summer or something like that, like earlier.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: So and I think the hosto is the rice that's eaten, uh the first rice that comes out for that.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Uh don't hold me for this.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I don't know, but like I think that's what it is.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: So the eating the new rice on that day is a significant.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it makes a lot of sense from an agricultural standpoint.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's why it's our big festival.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: So we have a banana leaf, and then with the rice, we have other things that's actually you know part of the festival.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, like I mentioned in my husband's uh home, like in Padubidri, I think it was a big thing.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: They would tie the the torana or the mango leaves on the dough with some rice, just as a that's the new year and a new beginnings.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: So fast forwarding a little bit towards your teen years in early college, you decide or float into engineering.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: I know you had a had a story about that, so tell us more about that.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was uh so uh I always thought that I was going to go to medicine.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: So in the sense, like somehow, because I think I I used to say when I was a kid, like I'm gonna become a scientist, but then eventually okay, I'm gonna become a doctor.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: So uh then um I think like in my 11th and 12th in Bangalore at least, you have to take like either you have to choose a path, like arts or science or whatever that you wanted to pick.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and then I ended up taking PCMB, which is physics, chemistry, math bio, which is basically which leads to either engineering or medicine.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: So I think just the day before my biology exam, I decided I'm not going to go to medicine.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: On then, okay, the only path left was engineering.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: So that's how I ended up with engineering.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: The funny thing is, I did really well in medicine.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: So from a ranking standpoint and everything, but I ended up going to engineering.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: So and um the other thing is like um, yeah, and I I wasn't sure what I was going to do in engineering.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: I had no clue.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: I thought electronics because my neighbor was doing electronics engineering, so okay, so I thought then I knew about that.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: So then I thought I'll just pick that.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: So but my on the day of the counseling, so we were actually uh you take your parent to the counseling, you have to take one parent who decides where you're going to go because you have to pick the city school and everything on the spot, like where you want to go for the next four years.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: So my dad said, like, let's go to computer, you go to computer science because that looks like the new thing.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I said, fine, let's go there.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: And did your dad want you ever to go into finance and banking like he was in, or was he more?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: No, uh actually my parents were I think I would say they were probably the easiest parents.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: I think they didn't really uh pressure us to do anything.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, they were pretty I mean there was emphasis on studying, definitely.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: So academics was important, but beyond that, what we did it was our choice.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: So got it, got it.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: So pretty liberal, I guess, for for back then, I assume, right?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I can believe that was a norm.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I think you'll be surprised.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: People, I think I I feel like we tend to overthink a lot of the things.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I feel sometimes what happens is there is a lot of emphasis on academics.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: But if you if you actually think about it, the parents never emphasized on where you want to go.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, you have to study.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: Studying is important, but beyond that, okay.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's up to you.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's up to you.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Get that degree, and then everything will fall into place.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever your path, the path you take.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: So you eventually end up doing engineering in Bangalore for your undergrad, and you work for a few months in India, and then and then decide to pursue higher education, and you come to the US, right?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so fast forwarding a little bit, you go to the University of Florida for grad school, specifically Compsite.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: But tell us more about your initial impressions when you came to the US.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, did you always know that you wanted to go to the US for higher education?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what did that decision process look like?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: Not uh, I had no clue.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, like, in a sense, uh, I mean uh I just came because most a lot of my friends are coming for education, so I thought I should also do that.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: So and uh uh my dad said, okay, fine, you you do whatever you want to do.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: So then uh that's how I ended up coming here.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: So and it was not a big transformation for me in the sense that like I was very close to my parents till I came here.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that was a big uh change in the sense that like when I moved here in 2001, uh and back then there was no WhatsApp or anything like that.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: You had to use calling cards or stuff like that to call.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: So that that was a big change, you know, calling parents once a week or something like that.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: Other than that, yeah, it was uh it wasn't too bad for me.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and was it your first time coming to America when you first came for grad school?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: I can't imagine coming from India and landing in Gainesville.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: I uh that probably didn't match your perception of America, right?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: What you were imagining?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Gainesville is not exactly US.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, nice.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, so you you go to grad school at UF um and then you moved to Austin soon after, right?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: I I think you worked for a few years in Florida and then you moved to Austin soon after.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I moved to, yeah, so I moved to uh Austin in 2005.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, got it.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you worked at the Nefrology Center for a few years in UF, and after that, you did you want to move to Austin or just sort of what happened with the job that it happened?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: I just want to move out of Gainesville at that time because Gainesville is a really small place, right?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: So then the problem with Gainesville is I think when you're in school, it's a great place.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: But once you're out of school, it's it's actually frustrating to live there because everyone is younger than you.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, because it's a college town, it's a college town, and uh, I think now the Gainesville is slightly bigger than what it was before, but like uh at least there are a few companies and stuff like that.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: Back then there was nothing like other than school.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: So I think initially I thought okay, Gainesville would be okay, but like after a year or so, I was you know, I need to move out of this place.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: So okay, and what was your first job when you came to Austin out of I guess a few years out of college?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: Dell.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I moved to Austin because of Dell.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, got it.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: And you were with Dell for a few years, right?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was there for three years and then I moved out.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: Moved on, okay, got it.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, it sort of coincided when you came to Austin.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's sort of where you I guess met your match, or I don't know, in terms of meeting Sredanti, but I let Lanti take that over for now.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so uh before I go into that, I know you said something about moving in with the other roommates in Gainesville.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: What was that experience like?
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know you talked a little bit about that.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: You want to share anything about that experience?
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Did you know anything about cooking and cleaning before you came to the US?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I mean like I uh I'm like I'm I do clean, like I'm things um like I used to do.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um like I I kept things, certain things, I'm not very organized or anything, but like certain things I need clean, right?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: So at least especially things me and around me, so kind of thing.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and uh that was a big change for me.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like uh uh my uh parents kept things very clean.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: So and I think that may like, but they are not like picky about cleaning or anything.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: But but like when I moved to Gainesville, I had to live with roomage, right?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: So and that was a big that was a big experience for me because it's just it's really hard for me to, you know, like it was really hard for me to adjust in the sense that like you know, people don't aren't necessarily hygienic, they don't uh you know.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then do you relate to that?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Are you one of the non-hygienic people?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think I identify as hygienic, but definitely in college, you definitely meet everyone around across the game.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I think that was one of the things you said that you know also uh helped you make the decision of wanting to live by yourself.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: So you came to Austin, and uh it was time, of course, things were untraditionally.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: I I started the moment I graduated in games.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I started living by myself.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: So uh okay.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: So when we I was working in the uh university there, so I was so I really wanted to get out of the room.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: So who did the cooking when you moved out into your by yourself?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Did you still eat in the university can cafeteria?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I did cook too.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: I cooked okay.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: I used to eat out one meal outside, like I think uh in the evenings I used to eat at home, but afternoons I used to eat outside.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh okay, okay.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: So then of course, like we said, uh cook uh food is very that's pretty um so I like eating, I don't like eating out because of uh I guess I have always been a picky eater, so I want to have, you know, like even now, like I don't prefer eating out a lot because I don't think uh eating out every day is healthier.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: So that's okay.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so then now we move fast forward, like Siddhan says, and come to Austin.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: And here the Bunt influence really worked on your marriage because you were the marriageable age, you were an eligible bachelor.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: Tell us more about how you got married to Shweta, like what because yours is an arranged marriage, right?
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: I was not eligible or anything like that, but like of course you are.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't downplay yourself.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: You have a job, you have an education, you're you're young, so you're eligible.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: So when I moved uh here, I think that Divekar, so Viveka was the first one I met.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's Siddhan's mom.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: Siddhan's mom, yes.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: And then uh Divyakar took me to the bunch thing once, and I think that was the only time I went after that.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: I stopped going so until I got married after that.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: But then uh that's where I met um uh Pallavi, uh who is Svetaska, and uh this whole thing happened.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: The two cousins talked and said you're perfect for each other.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: And you got married.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: How many years ago was that?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um we got married in 2007.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: So eight, whatever, 18 years, 19 years?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: This year is 19 years.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: The 19th year.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: So obviously, something clicked, you're still together.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have two amazing kids, right?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Did you get married in India or here in the US?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we got married in England, yeah.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: In India.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: So very traditional wedding.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean bunt weddings, which is a short wedding.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: So we've never asked anybody about bunt weddings.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Any thoughts on bunt weddings versus any other community weddings?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: I think bunt weddings are relatively short in the sense that, like back then, at least now we have all this Mendy and stuff like that, which is basically transplant from the North India mostly.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: Otherwise, we had muta and then we had wedding, and the wedding was relatively shorter compared to other weddings.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: Got it, got it.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: So now we arrived to Sanamians.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things that we always ask is like how, especially obviously the ones with kids, is how have your parents sort of influenced your parenting style?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I know we talked a little bit about your parents focus on academics, but also they let you have free reign in sort of other attributes of their life.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: So curious, in terms of your parental skills and your intangibles and your values, what are what are you really focused on in terms of teaching Driven Sanbi as they grow up?
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: I think uh for for me, the that's one thing.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like I actually read somewhere that like uh there's this guy called Scott Hansenman, and who I think he used to say, like his dad was a fireman or something like that.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: So and he used to say to them when they were kids, whatever you do, uh you have to be the best in what in whatever you do, right?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so if you dig holes, even though it's it's it's a very insignificant bug, but be the best.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: So that's what like I want my kids to not necessarily, you know, being best is really hard, but like at least be really good at it or be passionate about it, right?
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: So one of the things I I find is like people tend to have fleeting interests, so but pick something that that you like, right, and stick to that, like I think so.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: That actually develops passion.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I've seen that yeah, yeah, most of the people who are successful as a programmers or something like that, uh, because they are passionate about it and they love what they're doing, and then they're stuck to it for a long time.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then curious, sort of zooming out, right?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: So we've gone all the way from your childhood to now that you have two kids.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: Curious if there's any bunt or Hindu culture influence on your life that has spoken really strongly to you and that you've held really close to your heart as you've gone through life.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Just nothing specific.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: The only thing I like, you know, like I want like the kids or anyone, like anyone like who's growing up here, like is to carry forward our ancestors' traditions and religions, or like because I feel our ancestors like we are the probably the oldest religion or the tradition that's surviving in the world today.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: There's nothing that's as old as us.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it's our duty to actually carry forward that they have given up so much for this.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I think the least we can do is carry the tradition forward.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's all I uh expect from the kids.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: And but again, it's all up to them, right?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: So how they want to pursue it.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then looking at your own life, right?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: So whether it's I don't know, being very flexible, whether it's uh hard work, things that you feel like you've developed uh not fleetingly, but you've developed intentionally within your life, whether it's values or traits, uh independent from bunt or hindu culture, what would you want your kids to take, continue on um that you've developed in your life and of course future generations?
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um persistence, I guess.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: Persistence.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good one.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we haven't heard that one actually.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, never give up, right?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Keep trying.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because uh I feel like um people say hard work too, but hard work plays its part, but like sometimes it's not just hard work, right?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's also you may have to work smart rather than hard.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: There are a lot of aspects to that, but persistence is always going to be common among all your opposites.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we were talking about your kids, uh Siddhan, uh Sheshang, sorry, and you were talking about like earlier when you said something about your parents wanted education was important, but you also need other interests.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you foster these interests because Sanvi is an amazing dancer.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: What other some of the other interests that you have that maybe your kids are also doing, and uh things like that?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: And how do you and Shweta parent?
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh dancers all Shweta actually.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: Shweta is the one actually.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but it is carrying on our tradition and culture, which kind of comes back to what you would like kids to do and us to do.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: It worked out very well in that way.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: What about Dhruv?
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: What do you feel you have?
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I know earlier when we talked, you do say you did talk about being the discipl the disciplinarian in your, you know, in the family.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: But another very important thing that you do for them, you said, and I think it seems that way, because that was one reason why we were not able to get you on an interview, because you were always there for your kids.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Every time we ask, can we do it now?
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: You had Dhruv had something, Sandhi had something.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: So is there anything else that you know you feel is important in your home as a parent to your kids?
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I guess I don't know.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_02: So, in a sense, uh so I Shweta is the fun parent.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the I'm the not so fun parent, I guess.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_02: So uh, but like we kind of divide the responsibilities, right?
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like uh so I take Dhru and uh uh Sanvi to classes, most of the classes, but related dance Shweta does most of the traveling or like moving around that.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh um so yeah, I guess yeah, that's uh and then yeah.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: What do you do for fun?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not really as I said, like no, read.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do you read?
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so that's so I used to, so I'm a big history dog.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: So no matter what, like in a sense, I have read every most of the region's history, like you know, like not necessarily Indian history or anything like that.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: And then, but now I'm more just interested in Indian history and Puranas, mostly Puranas and stuff like that, rather than else.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: If there was one thing you wanted to you would share or tell somebody that you got from the Puranas, and I'm asking because we've had many discussions before, and you really are a wealth of knowledge about Indian history.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if there's something that you know like sparked something in you from the Puranas, what would it be if you were to just pick one kernel?
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's a huge, huge, huge thing, but if there was one thing, I feel like um India has been treated unfairly in terms of how their his its history has been depicted.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um and uh I think it's um people need to go back and read a lot of these stuff to figure out like what um where certain um you know like uh misnomer or certain things come from because uh everything has been misinterpreted, or people have like, you know, like have taken someone else has taken credit for someone else's things and stuff like that.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_02: We have a wealth of knowledge.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's a lot and a lot to learn.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, uh, so I guess we are have come to the end, right?
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: Just thank you, Shashank, for talking with us and being here.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: I just I do want to wish you, I'm glad we finally got you on, and uh thank you for everything you've shared today.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: I know you uh I just wish you all the best, and you might think you're a not fun parent, but I think your kids uh will not agree with you.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: They have a lot of fun.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: We see them laughing and giggling around with you, so I'm sure you are more fun than you give yourself credit for.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, all the best.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Sri Lanko.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, thank you for having me, and uh, it was fun.