Latest / Impact Ready / 131. 3 Big Lessons Post-Chemo

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131. 3 Big Lessons Post-Chemo · Impact Ready

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Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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Hello, welcome to the Impact Ready podcast.
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Thank you for being here. We are getting towards the end
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of summer here is mid August. So we have a couple weeks left.
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You can feel that energy shifting a little bit.
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I kind of like it. I like, I like going into the
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fall. So I hope everything is ending
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well for you this summer. For me, there is a lot of
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shifting energy. If you've been following along,
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paying attention to social media or listening to this podcast,
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you know that I've been getting treatment for breast cancer the
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last six months, and I actually just finished all of my
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chemotherapy. I had a total of 16 infusions of
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chemo, which is wild. I never actually thought that I
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was going to have to do that much, but last Monday was my
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last one, and I'm so excited to be on the other side of it.
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I'm so excited to just be feeling like I can start to
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recover and I'm not going to get knocked down every week or every
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two weeks like I've been for the last five months.
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And it's a good, good feeling. During this process, I my effort
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has been to be transparent with all of you about what it looks
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like to be going through a cancer treatment process.
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Not just in terms of the actual treatment, but what it looks
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like to go through something hard and talk about it.
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So many times people will have something difficult happen to
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them and when they are going through that process, feel like
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they maybe have to shrink into the shadows and hideaway until
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things are all nicely tied up and cleaned up and they can
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emerge back into the world, back into their work, into their
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relationships, their projects, whatever it might be.
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I didn't want to do that. I didn't feel like 1.
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I had the luxury of doing that. It just wasn't possible for me.
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But also, people don't talk about processes as much as we
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would think that they would. A lot of people were telling me
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along this process, I had no idea what it looked like for
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somebody to go through chemotherapy, which is wild to
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me because there are so many people in your life, in my life
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who have had cancer, who might have cancer in the future and
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would get this type of treatment.
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And it's just not, it's not very much talked about.
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And so in the spirit of transparency, one of my goals
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was to shed a little bit of light on this and hopefully help
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people see that there are lots of ways that you can do it.
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You can still be in choice when you're going through something
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hard. You can still get up in the
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morning and move your body. You can still choose what kind
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of food you feed yourself and who you surround yourself with.
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And even when you're experiencing side effects,
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fatigue and dizziness or headaches or nausea or any of
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the things that might go along with a treatment like this, you
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can still function in the world. It's not like you're in the
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movies, laying bedridden, hiding away and, you know, feeling like
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you just can't function. That's so often is not the case.
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And in my last 15 years of clinical practice as an
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acupuncturist, I've seen so many patients navigate this process.
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And I was always really inspired by them.
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The fact that most people still work, still get up every morning
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and get their kids off to school and meet their deadlines and
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cook dinners for their families and do the house chores.
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They're doing all of these normal things.
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And I think it's really, really important that people understand
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that, that no matter what you're going through, whether it's, you
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know, an illness or an injury, if it's a divorce, if it's the
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loss of someone that you love, all of these things that are
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really hard, there is still a way for you to show up and be in
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choice around that in your life. So that's been a really big part
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of what I've been trying to communicate, not just in this
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podcast, but on social media and you know, in some of the things
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that I've been putting out content wise into the world In
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this episode today, what I wanted to share with you is just
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three quick lessons that I have learned in the last six months
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about what it feels like and looks like to go through a
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process that is similar to this, a process of hardship where you
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have to still keep showing up in your life and what that looks
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like and feels like to be able to do that.
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I will be honest with you, I am like really right on the cusp of
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being done with all of this, but there is still so much to learn.
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I have so many lessons that are going to hit me hard.
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I'm sure of it. My mom always said to me, check
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on your people six months to a year after something big has
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happened to them, after they've gone through something huge.
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Because there's no way that the brain can process all of the
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information that's coming at you.
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When you are going through treatment, when you are
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navigating the loss of someone you love, when you're going
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through a divorce, there is too much to process.
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You're in fight or flight. You're in survival mode.
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And so all this information is not really sinking in until some
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of the dust settles, some time passes, and you have some
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moments to really think and integrate the information that
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has been coming at you like a fire hose for the past however
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long. So I will tell you these lessons
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might change, but I don't want to just come at you once
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everything's all tidied up. I want to share with you what's
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on my heart and my mind as I'm navigating this right now.
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And so again, Spirit of Transparency, I want to give you
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3 lessons that have really been coming up strongly for me,
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especially in the last month as I'm reflecting on what's been
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going on in my life with my community and my friends and my
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family. So let's dive into these.
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The first one is that people don't care about you as much as
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you think they do. People do not care about you as
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much as you think they do. And I say this with the most
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love and no judgement and no negativity at all.
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In fact, this is not meant to be sad at all.
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It's an absolute gift that people do not care about you as
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much as you think they do. It is such a gift because what
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it means to me is that you can do whatever you want with your
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life. You really can do whatever you
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want with your life. And people don't care that much.
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They might care for 5 minutes or five days if you're really
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famous, but then it's over and they don't care.
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And it is so clear to me that we have to have the courage to do
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the things that scare us. We have to take the risks that
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we've been wanting to take. We have to build the dreams in
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our life that we've been wanting to build more than ever.
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Because people don't care if you do.
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They don't care if you don't, and they don't care if you do.
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In fact, we are the only people who have to live in our bodies,
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with our life circumstances, in our communities.
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It is so crucial for us to be able to Shuck all of this fear
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of what other people think of us so that we can live our most
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authentic life and actually have the freaking impact that we want
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to have in the way that we could potentially have it if we lived
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courageously. I don't know about you, but I'm
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somebody who's always really kind of worried about what other
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people thought of me. People pleasing.
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I've talked about it. It's always been a thing for me.
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I want people to like me. I want people to approve of what
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I do. I've wanted to make sure that I
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was kind of following the rules. And this is since I was a little
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kid. And so to Shuck some of this
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stuff throughout the last 10 years, not care so much about
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what other people think. That has been a process for me.
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I will tell you what accelerates that process, going through a
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hardship like this. It absolutely is putting your
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foot on the gas pedal to not caring what other people think.
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Because you realize, my God, I am the only person who has to
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live in this body. I'm the only person who has to
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live with my choices and my decisions.
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At the end of the day, it's me who didn't take that risk.
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It's me who didn't have that hard conversation.
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And God, that matters so much. I just think it is the ultimate
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lesson of freedom. It's like somebody takes the
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glasses off of your eyes and you can see a totally different
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vision. When you realize that people
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don't care about you as much as they think you that you do.
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And my challenge with this lesson is to set aside some time
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to figure out what is it that you really want?
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Like, what are your huge dreams? What are the things you've been
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putting off in your life because you've been too afraid to
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explore them or pursue them? And have a discussion around it
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with your spouse or your partner.
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Or if it's just you, like your journal, have a discussion, a
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dialogue, and dream the hell out of that situation.
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Just have 20 to 30 minutes where you are allowing yourself to
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take the guardrails off your brain and go all in on dreaming
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so big without judgement, without worry, without fear
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about what other people might think and see what comes up.
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Because if you don't do it, no one else is going to do it for
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you. You have this one life.
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People talk about that all the time, but let me tell you, don't
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wait for an event or a hardship to spur on this taking the
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glasses off. Don't wait for it.
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Do it now. Allow yourself the space and
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give yourself permission to dream as big as you absolutely
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can so that you can do what you want in your life.
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So that's lesson 1. Lesson 2 You have to let people
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help you. This one makes me laugh only
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because I am absolutely the person who is the caretaker in
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my life. I was always the person who was
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tough, who didn't show the vulnerability, who didn't show
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any weakness, who made sure that I was the rock for everyone in
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my in my life, in my community. And this has been one of the
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most humbling experiences of my life is to realize to a level
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that I didn't understand before. And trust me, this is something
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we've all been working on. I didn't understand how
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important it is to let people in, to let people help you, to
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let people give you love and show love and show up for you
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and for you to receive that. Because here's the thing,
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relationships are about reciprocity.
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And if it is always you showing up for other people because
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you're the tough one or you're the rock or you're the
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dependable one, there is no reciprocity in the way that
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people don't feel like they can show up for you.
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And you take away that opportunity for your friends and
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your family and your loved ones to give you that energy.
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It has to be a give and take. And I know that you're probably
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nodding your head like, yeah, Steph, I get it.
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We don't fully integrate this. We don't live it.
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This might be common sense, but it's not common practice because
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so often people lead with their saboteurs, they lead with their
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limiting beliefs and their limiting stories.
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Just like I have in the past where I'd felt like I didn't
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need a lot of help. I was independent, I was tough,
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I didn't show the vulnerability. We might know that it's
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necessary, but common sense is not common practice.
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And the thing that I've really started to understand about this
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is we cannot be in fear of being vulnerable or looking weak or
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not being perceived as tough. We can't be afraid of that all
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the time because life will show you that it is inevitable that
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you will have moments of weakness and vulnerability.
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You will have cracks in your foundation.
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And thank God you do, because these things, this hardship that
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we face that forces the vulnerability and forces those
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cracks in the foundation, it's the stuff that breaks apart all
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the crappy old patterns that we don't want in our life.
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It is the stuff that causes us to grow and expand.
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And if we didn't have it, we would be stagnant.
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We would be stuck. And nobody wants that as a
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human. And so knowing that this is
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inevitable, it's a part of life, we also have to understand that
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we can't fear it all the time because if we're afraid all the
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time that we're going to show vulnerability or we are going to
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show some sort of weakness, all we are is a House of Cards ready
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to crumble at any moment. This experience has been such an
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eye opening one for me because right from the beginning my wife
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looked at me and said you're going to have to be vulnerable
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and you are going to have to ask for help.
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And I knew that on a logical level and I very much tried to
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open my heart to that, even though I wanted to put my
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defenses up and say, no, I'll be fine, I can handle this.
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I knew just the way that she was looking at me.
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I knew that what she was saying was so true.
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And so right at the beginning, I made a decision.
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I'm going to be open. I'm going to receive all the
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love that people give me and I'm going to tell them that I'm
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doing it. Every time somebody says I'm
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sending you light, I'm sending you love, prayers, whatever it
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was, I am going to tell them outright, I received that, thank
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you. I will take it, bring it on.
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Like whatever the language was, I wanted them to know that I
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wanted that love and support. And that was a game changer for
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me because what I recognized is that every time I did that, more
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would come my way. And every time more came my way,
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I felt better. I felt, I felt better.
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I felt higher frequency, I felt more energy, I could feel the
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relationship with that person also changing.
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The energy from that interaction made that relationship better.
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And so everything improved as a result of me just being in
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acceptance and being open to the idea that we have to receive
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help and let people help us. It's all about the reciprocity,
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baby. So that's lesson #2 and then
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finally, lesson 3 is your energy and your health is everything.
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And again, this might seem like the most obvious thing in the
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world, and I've said it in so many ways on this podcast, but
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I'm going to say it in this way. There is nothing more important
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than your energy and your health.
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Nothing. And I know that right now you
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are probably pouring a lot of your energy into other things in
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your life and neglecting parts of your health.
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I know that because I work with so many different people in
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different capacities, and I see it in almost every single person
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aside from like maybe 10% of people.
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We ignore the big needle movers. We ignore our health.
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We ignore our energy. And I'm not talking about all
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the biohacking and all the specific minutiae and nuanced
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health habits. I'm not talking about that.
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I'm talking about the main stuff.
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I'm talking about sleeping and eating well and moving your body
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and protecting your mental and emotional energy.
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If you are not doing that, you are majoring in the minors.
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You are, you are setting yourself up for something that
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will derail you in the future. And I'm, I don't mean to sound
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harsh, but I want to say this with urgency because I got to
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tell you, when you feel your health is at risk, you feel
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everything is at risk. If you lose your health,
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everything is lost because you don't have capacity or energy to
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work on your career or you don't.
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You can't travel, you can't seek out new opportunities, you can't
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network, you can't get promoted, you can't build better
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relationships. You can't work on your
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confidence, you can't improve your conflict resolution.
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None of that stuff matters when your health is at risk.
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And I wish more coaches would say it this way.
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I think we're doing a disservice to people because what I
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recognize is everybody's looking for a fast solution.
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People want speed when it comes to success.
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They want to earn more money, they want to climb the ladder.
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They want to have better relationships.
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Great. I love all of that.
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I think it's wonderful to have those types of desires.
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You want to know the answer, how to get better at all those
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things? Get better energy.
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Truly get better energy. Work on your health habits.
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Go from A6 or A7 out of 10 energy and go to a 10 out of 10.
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If you focus on that, all of those things will improve.
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You want to launch that project you've been working on for
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years. Get better energy.
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You want to be more creative. Get better energy.
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You want to have that relationship with your spouse,
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that awesome marriage. Get better energy.
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All of these things will improve because you will handle stress
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better, you will have a greater tolerance to extremity, you will
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be more resilient, you'll be more creative, you'll be more
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loving, you'll be more open. All of these things improve when
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you have better energy. And we just waste so much time.
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And I just, I can't emphasize it enough because I have
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experienced now what it feels like to feel really knocked down
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in your energy, to feel tremendous fatigue, not only
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physically, but mentally. To just feel like your brain
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doesn't work because chemo really like causes a tremendous
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amount of brain fog to just feel not like yourself.
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If you don't have access to that energy, that just source energy
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within you, trust me, you are shortchanging yourself.
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You are cutting yourself at the knees.
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The last thing I will say about this lesson specifically is we
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also have to be careful about not giving away all of our
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energy all the damn time, because we do.
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We give away our energy to social media, to news, to
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Netflix, to other people's emails, basically other people's
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agendas, right? I mean, all of that screen time,
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all of this time in front of the TV and scrolling and answering
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emails 17 times a day, all of that is other people's agendas.
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And essentially we're just depleting ourself for someone
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else or for marketers when it comes to social media and news
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and all that stuff. So that is lesson #3 your energy
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and your health is everything. Now, again, I am going to
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reserve the right to change any of my thoughts on these in the
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future. I'm, this is very preliminary.
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All of these things that I'm sharing with you.
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I'm, I know that there's going to be more processing and more
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lessons to come, but I wanted to share these things because I
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think they very seriously relate to the amount of impact that we
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can have in our lives. I've noticed it in my own, I've
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seen it in other people, and I think it's worthy of a
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conversation. So I hope that these three
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lessons are helpful to you. And I hope that this week you
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can think about how all of these are applying to how you are
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living your life because I know that you are a person of
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tremendous impact, and I want the best for you.
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So thank you for listening to this episode and humoring me in
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my preliminary lessons. I appreciate you being here.
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Hope you have a great week. And as always, thank you for
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being ready to Impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
20:16
Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
20:18
you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
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By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
20:25
exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
20:29
share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
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I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.