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Criminals of Isla Numus - Episode 8 - The Running of the Minotaur (Part 2) · Session Zero Heroes | TTRPG Actual Play Adventures & Improv Storytelling

0:00
Hello weary
0:11
traveler, I'm not sure what strange magic
0:14
must have brought you here, but you have stepped into a
0:17
realm of my creation, a sprawling
0:20
city filled with danger and glory and, most
0:22
importantly, lots of gold.
0:25
Out.
0:25
I call it Isla Numus Who am
0:28
I, you might ask? M the name is Jarjin,
0:31
and I'm the patron deity of gambling.
0:34
Long story short, this group of
0:37
idiots, or as you may call them, heroes,
0:40
made a bet with me that they had what it took to make a mass
0:43
trove of gold, but left some of the key
0:46
details blank. So I fill them in
0:49
myself. I send them to this pocket
0:51
dimension, into the city I had created
0:54
with brand new bodies they'd have to attune
0:57
to. Can these fools pass my test?
0:59
Uh.
1:00
Or will they be trapped here forever?
1:02
So experience my world of trials
1:05
and tribulations and join alongside this
1:08
posse of pitiful people. Or as I like to
1:11
call them, the criminals of Isla
1:14
numis.
1:16
All right, welcome back, everybody, to another episode of
1:19
Criminals of Isla Numis. We rudely left off
1:22
with a cliffhanger last time, and we are
1:25
here to rectify that rudeness.
1:28
But before we do that, let's go around the table and
1:31
talk about who the heck we are. Uh,
1:33
Dave, you always sit next to me, so
1:36
who I go to. Who are you playing
1:39
this time? I'm still going to be playing Maki,
1:42
and he's still going to be in a bird body.
1:45
Right on. Still Maki, and he's still in a bird
1:48
body. That's the easy, straightforward summary.
1:51
Yep. And he's probably gonna do some magic.
1:54
Nice. Uh, you left off having done
1:57
some magic, didn't you? You guys were all ready at the
2:00
race. Yep. Maki's starting to figure out
2:03
that this body's in now. It seems to have different
2:06
magical abilities than his old body.
2:09
Yes. Fantastic. So we'll see that kind of
2:11
stuff come into play, which will be exciting. Jumping over
2:14
to Quinn, aka Feather McGregor,
2:16
aka lil sauce. Oh, yeah,
2:20
we're in the, uh,
2:22
race here, getting ready to go. Um, and, uh,
2:25
yeah, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. Who are you?
2:28
I know I just said who you are, but, like, give me a little bit more detail.
2:31
Who? Give us a fun back. I
2:34
made Sauce, and then I didn't make sauce anymore.
2:37
You're a kinku. That, too. Yeah. I mean,
2:40
I guess kinku. Yeah. I don't know. I just like to
2:43
help people put a name to the voice and the
2:46
character. All right, Jackson. Uh,
2:49
I'm Jack. I play Des,
2:52
who was a trident fighter turned Kanku
2:55
ranger. You actually go by Jack?
2:58
Sometimes. Wow. I didn't know, like, growing
3:01
up, it was all Jack. It wasn't until, like, senior year of high
3:04
school, I started going by Jackson. Interesting.
3:07
Anyway, sorry. Um, and
3:11
fun fact about, uh,
3:13
Des is,
3:15
um, although tridents do not have a
3:18
singular tail, every now and then when
3:21
he was a wee lad, he would put both of his feet together
3:24
and pretend that he had a singular mermaid
3:27
tail. I was just going to say, was that h
3:30
20? If he
3:32
touches water.
3:36
Chloe. Nar. Chloe.
3:39
Cleard.
3:42
Oh, my gosh. He's a merman.
3:45
Fatty lumpkin. Uh,
3:48
my name is Keto, and I am a
3:51
studley coal bald, formerly a
3:54
nerdy druid, enjoying
3:57
this new lease on life and the jack
3:59
side of things. There you, uh, go. And we will put that
4:02
on full display during this race of the
4:05
minotaurs. Are you going to be that guy that takes off all
4:07
his clothes during the minotaur? Is that what you mean by full display?
4:10
Yeah. Listen, letters. One every year.
4:16
He's going to drag happening here. Skipping.
4:21
Awesome. Uh, and finally, we've got Cameron.
4:24
Hi. Oh, uh, I'm playing
4:27
Rourke, formerly a
4:29
dwarf, now a goblin
4:32
who likes to dig,
4:35
drink coffee, and can definitely read.
4:38
Big three. The big three that we're all looking for in a
4:41
character these days. Um, I say, what's your
4:44
backstory? You say my backstory doesn't matter. I can
4:47
read. I can read. I like coffee. Um,
4:50
and I dig. And my parents definitely loved
4:52
me. That's all you got to
4:55
know. And they're a lot.
4:58
That's a key thing, too. And they still love me.
5:01
I can definitely read. And I can definitely
5:04
100%. He is literate. Great reader.
5:07
I'm Skyler. I'm your DM. And, man, it would be awkward
5:10
if I wasn't literate. Uh, let's jump
5:13
into another. Oh, sorry. Do you have something
5:15
new? Uh, not really, but I was just saying
5:18
be impressive. If you couldn't read, you'd just be making
5:21
all this up right off the top of my head.
5:24
That would be pretty cool. Well,
5:27
uh, whatever the case, whether I'm making it up
5:30
as we go or I've got some stuff pre planned is
5:32
tbd as well. And
5:34
tbd happens now.
5:42
Welcome back to criminals of island numis,
5:45
episode eight. And as we
5:48
left off, you guys had just gotten into
5:50
the course. You had just entered the course for
5:53
the running of the bulls. The announcer, the. The leader of the
5:56
ceremonies, he had just given you the full rundown on the rules,
5:59
and he stood up on the roof of the
6:02
building where they were keeping their minotaurs, he counted
6:04
down three, two, one, uh, pulled the
6:07
lever, and nothing happens
6:11
except people start running. The
6:13
doors have not yet opened. But before they were about,
6:16
uh, to open, or as soon as he pulled the lever, you,
6:19
Rory, Cameron, you had
6:21
poured out some oil in front of it and
6:24
sparked your tinder box.
6:26
Yeah. Which then shoots down
6:29
and bursts into flames below the
6:31
gate's doors. As people start to run away,
6:34
you mentally count one. I just take off immediately.
6:37
Oh, okay. Yeah. Light a fire and go. Uh, but you're
6:40
mentally. I'm just saying dodge my head. Counting as
6:43
you turn to run
6:44
2345. All of a sudden, you
6:47
see, he pulls a second lever. The gates
6:50
fly open, and behind the flames,
6:53
you see a group of minotaur. They all look like
6:56
they're ready to go and immediately pull back when they see these
6:59
flames. A little surprised, unexpected.
7:01
The man up, uh, on the rooftop. He doesn't
7:04
see the minotaur run out because he's at kind of an awkward
7:07
angle. But he would normally see them run out onto the
7:10
pathway. He peeks over the roof, sees the flames, and he says,
7:13
I've, um, never seen that one before, surprisingly,
7:16
but it's legal. I didn't say you couldn't do it, so. All
7:19
right. Interesting, lloyd by everybody
7:21
sometime. All right. So as the minotaur are
7:24
awkwardly trying to decide what to do, their little fear of the
7:26
flames, um, is holding them back. The rest of
7:29
you, these are things that you see. First of all, you
7:32
see the eletrin twins, the
7:35
ones that maki, you had kind of messed with,
7:38
uh, and tied up the shoelaces of the one,
7:41
uh, the first one, the one that didn't wear any shoes
7:43
whatsoever. She immediately jumps onto all
7:46
fours. As soon as the race kind of begins, she jumps onto all
7:49
fours, and as she kind of does a, uh, lunge forward,
7:52
she shapeshifts into a horse. The other
7:55
one starts to run and then all of a
7:58
sudden falls
8:01
face first into the ground. He looks like he was about ready to
8:03
jump and get onto her back, but
8:06
unfortunately, he just face plants.
8:09
The horse just keeps going, and he's left there,
8:12
and he looks up and goes.
8:17
Let me see if he's. She
8:20
does not hear him. Continues to gallop away
8:23
for quite a ways. He is left there in the
8:26
dirt, picks himself up. It's frustratingly
8:29
trying to retie his shoes, looking back nervously,
8:32
constantly, uh, seeing the minotaurs behind him,
8:35
just waiting to get past these fires.
8:38
Additionally, uh, you see three hulking
8:40
individuals, the ones that you guys had noticed before. There's a
8:43
half orc, there's a human and there's a goliath. All of
8:46
them massively muscular, almost unnaturally so.
8:49
They take, as soon as the race starts, they take about five
8:52
to ten steps forward, immediately turn around and
8:55
just turn to face the minotaurs. They are not here
8:58
to run the race. They are here to
9:00
fisticuff with these freaking monsters.
9:03
Uh, the two, uh, individuals that you had talked to
9:06
before,
9:08
Grizzletooth the bugbear and rusty, the
9:11
Durgar, they are off. They're off on their feet. They're
9:14
running right alongside you guys, obviously. Um, you can
9:17
tell that grizzle tooth is a little bit faster because the
9:20
Durgar has kind of some studier legs. But I
9:22
digress. They're going. Uh, additionally, other people
9:25
that you see, you see this man, only
9:28
one in this entire group that seems to be
9:31
wearing, I'd say maybe there's a couple of other, one of the
9:34
few in this entire group that is wearing not the
9:37
traditional white with the red scarf.
9:40
He is instead, bless you. He
9:42
is instead wearing some golden clerical
9:45
robes. He has a very
9:48
clean, perfectly shaped white beard
9:50
underneath him. And as he runs, he has
9:53
his hands clasped in some sort of prayer. It looks like he's
9:56
running and praying at the same time. You
9:59
see a tortle. He's wearing a purple
10:02
band or no, uh, orange bandama over
10:05
his head. He's also not wearing the
10:07
traditional clothes. But you wonder if maybe it's probably because it's
10:11
really hard to get clothes that fit a turtle,
10:13
uh, because he's got the big old shell on the back. But whatever the case,
10:16
he's nimbly leaping in long
10:19
strides towards, uh, down the
10:21
pathway. You see the air
10:23
genossi. He is moving at high
10:26
speeds as he has like, air that's shooting past him.
10:29
It almost looks like he's flying except you can
10:32
see that his feet are fully touching the ground.
10:35
Uh, there's a number of other characters that are kind of moving as
10:38
well. Um, I won't go through all of them, but
10:41
maybe they'll come up later. You guys, as a group,
10:44
you've all shot forth and you're running forward
10:47
down the pathway. Um, you guys rush
10:49
forward maybe about two
10:52
blocks and then all of a sudden you come to kind of a wide
10:55
opening as you guys come running up to this
10:57
opening. Like I said, it's a wide opening. People kind of spread out
11:00
a little bit. You see a couple of people that seem to kind of, like, stand off to
11:03
the side. Um, whether they're worried
11:06
or something, you're not 100% sure.
11:08
It doesn't really matter, because right now you are focused on running
11:11
this race. Right past
11:14
this wide opening, there's a narrow passageway. It's
11:17
an incredibly, uh, alleyway. Let's say that it's a
11:20
narrow alleyway. It kind of closes in. Everybody kind of gets pushed
11:23
together, and they're kind of one to one. Is there anything anybody would like
11:26
to do as you guys kind of start moving towards
11:28
this? Can I do, like, um,
11:31
a wall jump back and forth this narrow,
11:34
um, alleyway, try to get ahead a little bit? Yeah,
11:37
absolutely. M do me an acrobatics check or
11:39
athletics. I don't think either one kind of
11:42
works. They are the same, I believe.
11:45
Okay. I always appreciate when that's the case, because sometimes it's hard to
11:48
decide which one. And if they're both the same, then I don't feel as
11:50
bad.
11:53
Wow.
11:55
Indecisive. Oh, that's
11:57
a 21. A 21. Holy crap. Okay, so,
12:00
yeah, you leap, uh, up and start sort of ninja style,
12:03
bouncing off of this wall. Interestingly enough,
12:06
only one other person seems to be doing this method, and that
12:09
is the turtle that I just mentioned before. He, too, also
12:12
starts doing a leap off a wall, and you follow close behind
12:15
him, both of you managing to get your way towards
12:18
the front of the pack, uh, after that maneuver.
12:21
So congratulations there. Anybody else like
12:24
to do anything? Is this alleyway
12:27
where everyone else has to go? Yes. Okay, so the
12:30
barriers are kind of pushing you in a very specific path.
12:34
Are we all just running through this? How many people are in front of
12:37
us? Behind us? Yeah. What's the order? Uh, let's
12:40
see. You guys are probably maybe three quarters of the way to the
12:42
back. Wow. Except
12:45
for Des.
12:48
Uh, you are probably at the back of your
12:51
group. Okay, that's fine. You with the fire, that was. As
12:54
we start running through the alleyway, I'm behind them
12:56
all. I'm going to
12:59
pull out a bag when I see this alleyway, and
13:02
I'm going to start, uh,
13:05
reaching into it and throwing stuff behind me
13:08
onto the ground. It's my bag of 1000
13:11
ball bearings. Oh, my God. All right, sounds
13:14
good. 1000 ball bearings.
13:16
Are you dumping just. Are you just constant drink? I might just be
13:19
holding the ball open and just running.
13:23
Oh, boy. All right, people behind you. You start to hear
13:26
the sound of people going, oh, gosh.
13:29
And sure enough, as you look behind you, almost
13:32
everybody that was behind your group has all
13:35
slipped and fallen. Um, thanks to the
13:37
ball bearings. And they are now picking themselves off the ground,
13:40
but they have fallen behind. And to top it off,
13:43
that means that the minotaurs have caught up close,
13:46
slightly closer to them, as opposed to the rest of you.
13:49
And the bulbarians are for the minotaurs. Hey,
13:52
Minotaur happen to step in a hole and
13:55
twist an ankle? Uh, or two. Or
13:57
two. Don't know
14:00
because you guys have already left before, uh, you even
14:03
come out. They would have had to shoot it.
14:10
Peter Griffin,
14:14
someone just comes up with a crossbow, just shoot
14:17
them. All right. As you guys all
14:19
pass through this narrow
14:22
alleyway, uh, as you guys kind of run
14:25
another couple of blocks forward, you come around a corner to
14:28
a big, wide open area. You can actually see a ton of
14:31
people past the barrier that are all watching this. They're all
14:34
cheering, screaming. Uh, some of them are
14:36
booing certain people as they run by.
14:39
Whatever the point at me, you're just straight
14:42
ahead of the table,
14:46
especially Des.
14:49
No, actually, uh, they're all cheering, laughing
14:52
excitedly. You also hear a number of people go, look
14:55
out, look out. And sure enough, just ahead of you,
14:58
you see this massive construction hole. There's some signage
15:01
around it that says caution hole and
15:04
it's just, uh, pointing down at the ground.
15:07
I wonder what there is this
15:09
massive 15 x 15 foot
15:12
hole in the ground blocking the pathway.
15:15
Some of the people run forward, such as the turtle who
15:18
I mentioned before, easily jumps right
15:21
over the entire thing, lands on the other side.
15:25
Nice. And keeps running off. Um, a couple
15:27
of the other people are trying the horse.
15:30
The horse person literally just jumps over the
15:33
entire thing. There is a centaur as well,
15:36
who also leaps over the entire thing. But a number
15:39
of other people have reached the edge. They look over, they look into the
15:42
hole. It's not a super deep hole. Um, one or two people
15:45
just decide to hop. How deep is it? Uh,
15:48
let's say 10ft deep,
15:50
probably.
15:53
There's probably like six
15:56
to eight, I'd say six people standing in front of it.
15:59
They're like just kind of analyzing, uh, one or two people.
16:02
Some of the taller people in the group, they actually just run right past.
16:05
They hop into the hole, they kind of catch the edge
16:08
and lower themselves in, run to the edge,
16:11
the other edge, jump up, grab it, pull themselves
16:14
over. The thunderwave. Do
16:16
thunderwave probably knock
16:18
people into the hole? Yeah, we're on the edge. I would
16:21
like to do
16:27
ahead of us. You're definitely ahead of you. I've got
16:30
an idea. So say
16:32
somebody cast, uh, an illusion or something. To say
16:36
this way, and then cover up the hole after we
16:38
get through, and then we're golden. But I
16:41
also want to push the people in front of us and hopefully injuring a
16:44
few. All right, so
16:47
I'll get to you in just a second. Yes. So,
16:50
des, you're leading the pack. Ah, what is your strength?
16:53
Just score, period. Um, my strength score
16:56
is, uh, what you want the modifier no.
16:59
1616. Okay, so, actually,
17:02
just based off DND rules, your
17:05
horizontal jump is equal to your strength
17:08
score. So you rush towards
17:10
it, leap over, just barely, like, maybe
17:13
a little bit of a foot. I mean, probably half a foot from each
17:16
side is where you kind of jump from and landed on. So
17:19
sure enough, you're able to jump across looking much like the turtle that
17:22
jumped before you and landing on the other
17:24
side. Neat. I take
17:27
inspiration from Des and do the
17:30
same. Okay, what's your strength? Okay,
17:33
so you're able to do the same thing. Yes.
17:37
Other people see you guys do this, they're very impressed. They're
17:40
thinking to themselves, maybe we could do it. Some of them are
17:43
starting to back up, but before they can feather McGregor, aka
17:46
lil sauce, uh, you come running up towards, behind
17:49
all of these people who are still kind of debating, uh, how
17:52
they want to handle this obstacle.
17:54
Yeah. Thunderwave. Thunderwave.
17:57
You cast thunderwave. Uh, they need to make
18:00
dexterity checks, I think. Yeah, if I remember
18:03
correctly. Okay, that's one success.
18:06
That's just getting pushed.
18:11
Okay, so I'm going to say it's a 50 53 of the people
18:14
slam. This wave of energy, uh,
18:17
and just sort of force slams into their
18:20
backs, pushing them all into, like I said, half
18:23
of them into this hole, face down. Bam.
18:26
Right into the ground. Um, three of them.
18:29
Uh, they kind of feel it coming. I don't
18:32
know what it is, but they manage to hold themselves steady. They
18:35
don't fall into the hole. Uh, maybe one or two of them, like,
18:37
whoa. But doesn't quite fall in, turns around,
18:40
sees your group running towards them. Well,
18:43
what's left of your group, which would be
18:45
goblin, Dave's, Kanku, and you,
18:48
Kenku. They jumped.
18:52
Yeah, those two jumped. Uh, I had a question
18:55
for the rules. First
18:58
off, is this hole just there? And did
19:01
they put barricades on the side of the
19:04
hole? Yeah. Okay, what was the
19:07
rule on the barricades? Uh, you cannot
19:09
go over them or through them or through
19:12
them. Can I climb on the side of them
19:15
across this hole? As long as you don't cross
19:17
it. That's the only way I see across. So,
19:20
uh, Warwick's, going to just jump on the side of the barricade and just
19:23
start. Like, would this be something I could just jump over?
19:26
You could try. So what is your strength score
19:30
plus three. No, what is the actual number?
19:33
The big number? 13. Yeah, you
19:36
can't make it. Yeah, short it. You would be short
19:39
by about 2ft. So your strength score is equal to the
19:42
number of feet that you would be able to horizontally jump.
19:45
Can I just hop in, climb on the people that I knocked in
19:48
and jump out? You could also try to make an athletics check to try to jump
19:51
it if you're not quite, just jump in and jump out.
19:53
Okay. All right.
19:57
I don't think you'd have to either roll anything, but you will take a little bit of
20:00
damage because I think it's
20:03
one d six per ten feet. I just crawl across
20:06
like him. You could do what I'm doing? Yeah, you could try
20:09
what he's doing. Lead
20:12
up the caboose of this
20:15
train. Crawling across the slope.
20:19
I cast minor illusions, uh,
20:22
on the sign m and
20:25
change it to say jump in
20:28
hole.
20:33
Okay, interesting choice for sure.
20:37
For the three of you or for the rest of you that are crossing
20:39
based on this, uh, fencing, can you
20:42
roll me an athletics check? What about
20:45
acrobatics? I think this one's like holding
20:48
on. I think this one's very explicitly athletic, uh,
20:51
for one over the other. It's sort of climbing in his, um, sense.
20:54
Twelve. Okay,
20:56
so upset. Seven.
20:59
Seven. Dave
21:03
Wifi is balancing
21:07
1616. Okay, so,
21:10
uh, feather, McGregor, little sauce. You're leading
21:13
this. No, he was.
21:16
Okay, you're leading. You're right next to him. He
21:18
starts to slip and he's falling off. Also, just
21:21
FYI, the guard, there's a guard or, uh,
21:24
referee or whatever you want to call it and he's on the other side of this fence,
21:27
right? He kind of like pushes through the crowd and he sees what you guys are doing
21:30
and he just leans in real close and just
21:32
follows your fingertips as you guys are making your way
21:35
across this fence to make sure that you don't cross the
21:38
barrier because if a fingertip
21:41
crosses a barrier, he's going to disqualify you. But thankfully this
21:44
is pretty thick wood, um, so there's a pretty
21:47
reasonable amount of space. But anyway, um, you
21:50
notice that your friend is slipping and starts to fall
21:52
backwards. He's completely lost his grip on this
21:55
fencing. Can I reach out to save him? You
21:58
can, uh, make a strength
22:01
saving throw.
22:05
Eight. Yeah. All right.
22:08
You let go with one hand, reach out to grab him.
22:11
You have two options, because
22:14
it's not enough. You don't have enough strength to get both.
22:17
You can either push him so that he holds on and fall
22:19
back yourself, or you can let him fall
22:22
and catch yourself and make sure that you don't fall. Can I make a
22:25
reaction?
22:29
I think you're already falling. You've made your check. Yeah, you can
22:32
definitely, uh, assist in this situation.
22:35
Also, uh, strength saving.
22:41
All right, so what happens is feather
22:44
McGregor, little sauce. Uh, you reach out to grab onto your
22:47
friend. He's slipping, he's falling.
22:51
You grab him, but in the process, you start losing
22:53
your grip. But you hold tight. You've got your friend. You're not going to let
22:56
him go, but you're falling off as well. And you're trying to
22:59
push him up to grab on as well. But just as
23:02
you're about to give up, uh, hope, another arm reaches out and
23:05
grabs yours. And it's your friend
23:08
Quill Smith. And he grabs
23:10
onto your arm, and the three of you have sort of a weird,
23:13
like, hanging ladder of arms and hands
23:16
right now. Monkeys in a barrel. That's right. Just like the monkeys
23:19
in the barrel. And then he swings and throws
23:22
both of you over to the other side, and then he shimmies the
23:25
rest of his way. All of you have made it across the
23:28
terrifying hole in the middle of the road. Wow.
23:32
Where was that from, Maki? Oh, hang
23:35
on. Can I do one other thing?
23:37
Okay. Well, he changed a sign to
23:40
say jumping hole. Yes. So if you covered the hole, it
23:43
would kind of defeat the sign.
23:48
Are you doing it? No, he said jumping
23:51
hole. All right. Sure enough. Yeah.
23:54
The people that were behind you that were slipping all over the, uh.
23:57
They're not having a good time. No, they're not having a good day. Uh,
24:00
they finally reach the hole. One of them is like, okay. And
24:03
he, like, hops into the hole. He's like, ow. The other
24:06
two watch him do this. They're totally unaffiliated with this
24:09
guy, and they're just like, why?
24:13
The sign said to. That's so
24:15
dumb. And, uh, they all start to make
24:18
some form or whatever, whether that be climbing down and
24:21
climbing out or some other means to try to cross
24:24
this hole. But again, they are also slowed down a little
24:27
bit. Especially the guy that jumped. He sounds like he might be
24:30
injured. My leg.
24:36
I like that. We're getting a little bit. They'll be
24:39
like crabs in a bucket. That's
24:44
right. So, you guys, another
24:46
block. You're going past the building. You take a
24:49
right hand, turn down kind of another narrow alleyway.
24:52
Not quite as narrow. You can have maybe two to three people, shoulder to shoulder
24:55
get through here. It doesn't seem super congested, whatever the case, as, ah,
24:58
you come out of the corner, there's some people that are.
25:01
You are alongside the wall that, uh,
25:04
borders this entire city.
25:07
And up on the top of this wall, you hear some
25:10
laughter. And as you're moving forward, one of the guys
25:13
in front of you, suddenly something comes flying down,
25:16
splats onto his head. There's goop,
25:19
uh, looks like yellow, maybe kind of viscous goop
25:21
that kind of comes m out. Found the basement?
25:26
Uh, no, this seems to be eggs.
25:29
Eggs. And also, you see a couple of other
25:31
handfuls of spletch, blelch, uh,
25:34
tomatoes. Rotting tomatoes that also come down. You look up and
25:37
you see a group of kids up on the top of this wall, and
25:40
they are hurling eggs and
25:43
tomatoes down on you guys, trying to hit people
25:46
as they pass by, like some group of
25:48
tuscan raiders or something.
25:51
Um, you All, I need you to. What was the
25:54
rule on weapons? You're not supposed to use
25:57
them. On who? On a shield,
25:59
except on a who. It said,
26:02
period. It was an
26:05
overarching statement. I need everybody to make
26:07
a dexterity saving throw as you try
26:10
to pull the shield off my back. Oh, that's
26:13
a good idea. Okay. I won't proceed with your.
26:16
Yeah, you roll. Five. Okay.
26:19
You don't have to roll, Nick. You're blocking it. A
26:22
good thing. 25.
26:25
25. Okay. You easily dodge, roll.
26:28
I mean, you don't even dodge and roll. I'm just small. And as it's
26:31
coming down, like you're seeing where they're falling and just navigating
26:34
accordingly, it is no problem for you.
26:36
Fantastic 13. Fantastic. Mr. Fox, you want to know how
26:39
to get through there? Some, um, little
26:43
dead. You easily also managed to maneuver and dodge
26:46
out of the way. Uh, no problem. There's a couple of close
26:48
calls, but sure enough, you managed to exit out of this kind
26:51
of session
26:55
with no tomato or egg on you. Let's, uh,
26:58
see, Dave, 1919. Okay,
27:01
same thing goes for you. You easily dodge out. You don't even get
27:04
any on your feet. Uh, that's how nimble and
27:07
capable Dez and keto are.
27:10
Probably a little bit ahead of us, aren't they? Because they've
27:12
just a little bit climbed the hole, and then we all kind of
27:15
waited a little bit for everybody to kind of kept going. I figured
27:18
they wouldn't. No need. We all make
27:21
the money together. At the end of the day. Right. All right.
27:24
Des, on the other hand, what did you roll again or. Sorry, not
27:27
Dez. Sorry. Uh, five. A five.
27:30
Okay. As you're running all of a sudden, tomato.
27:33
You can smell it as it comes down. Having worked with
27:36
tomatoes for so long, making your sauces and such, you
27:39
smell this tomato as it flies towards you. It is not a good
27:42
tomato. It is a bad tomato.
27:46
It is a mean tomato. And it slams right into
27:49
your face. You are blinded
27:52
as this goop gets into your eyes. The acidity,
27:54
when the tomato starts to sting your
27:58
eyes, gets up your nose.
28:02
Hear him say that? Help me. I turn around and
28:05
run back, uh, and I see his face.
28:10
I grab his hand, and
28:14
I start pulling him through. Sorry.
28:18
The kid now targeting you
28:21
extra. You are pelted with eggs in
28:24
addition. I can't dodge for him. You can't dodge
28:27
for fog cloud.
28:29
Where are you casting it? Above him,
28:33
I guess around me, I think it's got,
28:35
like, probably a 30 foot range.
28:39
I mean, there's no way those kids are throwing those, like, 30ft
28:42
accurately. Well, maybe straight down, right? That's what I'm saying.
28:45
This is above us, right?
28:48
Zigzag. I'm just saying, if you're serpenting.
28:51
Fog cloud is a 20 foot
28:53
radius, sphere of fog
28:55
centered on a point within range. Holy cow. The range is, like,
28:58
120ft. Okay, do you want to just test it
29:01
on the wall where the kids are? Yeah, just catch it up on those.
29:04
Okay. Can't you see it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You cast
29:07
fog clouds. Boom. Huge poof. It just, like,
29:10
erupts all of a sudden, right in the middle of all of them. It's like one of the
29:13
eggs went off, and it's just, like, stanky, and it's got this
29:15
cloud, poof. This 20 foot
29:18
radius, uh, cloud of, uh, fog
29:21
just erupts, uh, around these kids, and they're all shouting,
29:24
oh, jeez. We throw
29:27
an egg there. I don't know. Throw it over there. You
29:30
call me with some egg, I'm going to get you with
29:32
egg. Next thing you know, they're just blindly curling eggs and
29:35
rotten tomatoes at each other. Now, um,
29:38
but you are now safe. You wipe the stuff off
29:41
your eyes. You're not as blinded. Your eyes still
29:44
hurt, though. But whatever the case, you have made it
29:47
past the danger zone of eggs
29:50
and tomatoes. The order continues.
29:53
Um, Dave, I think you would have
29:55
overtaken Cameron and Quinn a little
29:58
bit just while they were dealing with the egg situation. But
30:01
whatever the case, that is the order. You
30:04
guys come around the corner, you immediately take
30:07
a straight shot down the street,
30:09
um, away from the wall
30:12
that borders the city. Kind of a really nice,
30:15
just, like, long, straightboard shot. We're talking like, maybe four or
30:18
five blocks that you just get to fully sprint,
30:20
but you do start to hear the sound of
30:23
heavy hooves coming from behind
30:26
you.
30:27
As you know that the minotaur are.
30:29
Starting to catch up to the group, you wonder if the people that used
30:32
to be behind you kind of further back, especially the one that jumped down
30:34
the hole foolishly. Uh, who knows? He
30:37
might have exited or he might have been overtaken by the Minotaur. You're not
30:40
sure, but you doubt that he's gotten past them or that he's
30:43
running directly ahead of them. Whatever the case, as
30:46
you guys are sprinting down this way, Jackson, you,
30:49
Des, would be the first to see this, given that you're leading the
30:52
pack. But a little child runs
30:55
onto the track, crosses over the barrier, into the
30:58
pathway, and seems to be chasing what looks like a little ball
31:00
that's bouncing and rolling, goes, oh, my ball
31:03
muffle. He's getting a y. You want
31:06
an or?
31:09
And again, he is on the course at the
31:12
moment, and nobody seems to be stopping him. And remember, we
31:15
are allowed to kill.
31:30
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31:34
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get. Now back to the show.
32:06
Uh, I've had a few ideas. How big
32:09
do you think is it? Like a little, little
32:11
kid? Like a four year old? Yeah. All
32:14
right, I'm going to just palm his head like a
32:17
basketball, toss it back
32:20
over the railing. Okay.
32:26
He's a tiny kid. That was kind of more just a
32:28
scenario just to see what you guys did, to be honest with
32:31
you. So, uh, I suppose I'm not
32:34
disappointed. I'm leaving
32:37
ball in the area.
32:40
I think that kid's dead.
32:44
It was a four. Normal human
32:47
being, like a dull ass.
32:54
Hey, it's everything getting trampled. I think. And
32:56
worst of all, he's disqualified.
33:03
Yeah, runs over. Disqualified
33:08
movie got one of
33:11
those.
33:15
All right, well, like I said, that was just sort of a moral dilemma.
33:18
I wanted to see head. Did you handle
33:21
it well?
33:27
Didn't even break a stride.
33:31
She straight up, step, arms,
33:35
runs up, back over the
33:37
pin, save
33:40
the kid, we'll never know
33:47
really
33:51
what is going on over there. You
33:54
just see this ball rolling
33:58
movies and, like, something happens and they don't show the death off
34:02
screen. You just see the ball roll,
34:07
you grab it, Chuck.
34:10
The ball slowly rolls and hits the
34:13
kid's feet
34:19
pop up.
34:22
All right, well, that was interesting anyways, wasn't there?
34:25
Yeah.
34:30
No, not a kid. Instead.
34:33
And you find a large brick wall
34:35
that stands right in the middle of the path,
34:38
blocking both sides. You hear
34:41
laughter from the other side and you hear somebody just shout
34:44
out, try to get past that,
34:47
losers. So, uh, who's all stuck there? Oh, sorry.
34:50
How many people are stuck?
34:54
Uh, the horse,
34:56
the centaur, the people that are leading the pack,
34:59
they're both stuck there. Vertical jumps, not their
35:02
thing. Turtle is also there.
35:05
He's analyzing it and he's looking around to try
35:07
to see if there's anything. Kind of like. He's thinking, maybe I could jump
35:10
off of that. No, that's not going to work, dude.
35:13
Let's see here. He's just kind of mumbling to himself
35:16
as he kind of, like, looks around the area. This is a real tricky
35:19
one right here it is. Is this part of the race or. It's
35:22
another contestant? It kind of sounds like another
35:25
contestant might have put it up there based on the laughter
35:28
of. Yeah, take that, losers.
35:34
It sounds like they're on the other side of the wall, right? Yeah,
35:38
they've been at the wall. No, they're ahead of us.
35:41
We just see a wall,
35:42
uh, 15ft
35:45
tall. Done. Can I get a
35:48
plan? Okay, you're right behind him. Can I just have
35:51
to crawl it like Spiderman?
35:54
Uh, you can try. We can use each other as
35:57
a shield.
35:59
Okay. You're gonna do the whole, like, Captain America thing where
36:02
he holds it as a platform and then
36:05
launch. I jump on it, and then I happen to have some
36:08
rope. Nice. Okay, do that karate thing where
36:11
you guys both run up each other's feet.
36:16
Just imagine we're using our own
36:18
invisible force. Ah, I love
36:21
it. Okay, so what do you actually
36:24
officially do? We can do that springboard thing. Okay,
36:28
I'll hold up your shield. You jump, I'll push the
36:31
shield. Yeah. Okay, so I see what you're saying. Okay. Yeah,
36:34
very Captain America. Awesome. All right, so what I'll do is I'll have
36:37
you make an athletics check, but I'll make it at, ah, advantage
36:39
since he's assisting you. Okay,
36:43
but athletics? Yes, it,
36:46
uh, was, uh, nine. A
36:49
nine. Okay, so, uh, he gets ready. He gets the shield
36:51
ready. He's crouched down. He's ready to push up. You rush
36:54
forward, you jump onto the shield. Everything seems like it's going
36:57
well. He pushes up, and as he does, your
37:00
foot slips on the shield a little bit. Uh, maybe there's, like, a piece of
37:03
metal that kind of, like, holds the shield together, and you're putting. Just
37:06
happened to step on that. Maybe there's just a little slick or
37:08
whatever. The eggs. The eggs.
37:11
It's a slick shield because of the egg
37:14
flick ever so slightly as he
37:17
pushes you up into the air, causing you to kind of just angle
37:20
straight towards the wall. As you brace
37:23
yourself to slam into this
37:25
instead, you go right through it.
37:29
Okay. And land on the other side. As you turn,
37:32
the wall still is there. Everything seems completely
37:34
untouched. When you realize just to throw the kids
37:37
ball at it.
37:40
And of course, seeing this, the other people
37:43
on the other side start to just run straight
37:46
through it. Of course, most of them still react by putting their hands
37:49
up. Like, it's just kind of unnatural to run straight at a wall. Your brain
37:52
doesn't really want you to just do that. So they throw their hands up
37:55
for protection, but sure enough, they pass through the wall. Did we catch up to
37:57
them in this time? Um, I think, yeah,
38:00
probably for the most part. I mean, they might still be, like, first and
38:03
second, but you guys are pretty close in the line at this point.
38:06
Can I last sue the horse? Yeah,
38:09
sure, go for it. You got rope, I assume? Oh, yeah. All
38:12
right. Uh, and Alasu the boot.
38:15
I'm a cowboy, baby.
38:19
I'm going to say make a. Well, it
38:22
would be a grapple, essentially. So you're going to
38:25
make a strength,
38:27
contested. Oh, no, I just want to triple. I don't
38:30
care about. All right, shoot. Is
38:33
that ranged? Let's say it's a ranged attack. Okay.
38:36
Yeah. 1515. All right. Yeah.
38:38
You throw
38:41
this lassoo, straightforward, wraps
38:44
around the back legs of this horse, and sure
38:47
enough, it kind of stumbles and falls. The
38:49
horse actually changes out of shape
38:52
as you find you have a
38:54
teenage Eldrin elf now kind of tied,
38:57
uh, up by the ankles, and she looks around and goes,
39:00
where's my brother? He's here. Wait a
39:03
minute. He's not even here. Where the heck is
39:06
my brother, he's
39:09
there.
39:27
And then I want to take his voice and be like, call out for his.
39:30
What was his sister's name? You don't know, but he was
39:33
yelling at. He was saying sister or just
39:35
said,
39:39
all right, uh, do a, uh, performance with advantage.
39:42
Wouldn't I be a mimic?
39:45
You abandoned me. You abandoned
39:47
me. I perished. You get with
39:50
advantage because you are using advantage. Okay,
39:53
so two d twenty s, and then. Yeah, for plus
39:56
what, uh, performance?
40:01
19. Oh, that's.
40:05
The 19 is definitely high enough. She goes,
40:07
Jinx, he's alive, James.
40:10
And she just starts running backwards down the track
40:13
to go and find her brother.
40:16
Uh, I want to go up to the wall. Would the people who put up the wall still
40:19
be locked on the other side? Whoever
40:22
it was kept running.
40:24
Okay, he got up and over.
40:27
Yes. Just keep
40:30
going. And I'm just going to run right through the wall.
40:33
Yeah. Um, pulling my rope
40:36
with me. It's illusory wall. You watch him
40:39
just, like, phase right through it. Oh, it's not a real wall. No, it's not even a real
40:42
wall. Yeah, keep on, keep going. All
40:45
right, sounds good. All right, you all make it through
40:47
my. As, uh, uh, they say in the adventure zone. My
40:50
wall puzzle. My wall puzzle. And I
40:53
test minor illusion to create
40:55
another fake wall
40:58
about 3ft behind the.
41:01
Just enough space to be.
41:05
I use my incredible masonry skills to build a
41:08
real wall. Oh, my
41:11
gosh. We got walls all over the
41:13
place. All right, as you guys running
41:16
forward once, shame on you. Pull
41:19
me twice. Shame on me. Pull me three times.
41:22
Ouch. That hurt.
41:25
All right, you guys make your way forward. Uh,
41:28
you continue down. It's kind of just a long stretch at this
41:31
point. You can actually even see the ending of the
41:33
race. As you guys come around this corner. As you come
41:36
around this corner. Wait, what competition do we have
41:39
left? Yes. Uh, let's see. All right, so,
41:42
yes, the people you see ahead of you, um, there's
41:45
a tall person.
41:47
He seems human. He's wearing a strange hat.
41:50
He's one of the few that aren't wearing the costume.
41:53
Um, but as he runs, he sort of clanks
41:56
in a strange, kind of unnatural way. Um,
41:59
the turtle is in front of you.
42:02
Sorry. The guy that's clanking, he's kind of roughly like with you
42:05
guys to some extent. He hasn't gotten, like, ahead super
42:08
far. The turtle, the centaur.
42:11
And then you see, uh, an orc with
42:13
long, black kind of wavy hair. It's all kind of,
42:16
like, messy or whatever. And you notice that he's got, like, face
42:19
paint all over him. He's got, like, a star over one eye and
42:22
all kind of other stuff that's, like, all over him. Um, he
42:25
wears, like, all black. He looks very
42:27
metal. He's the only
42:30
one that you assume. Unless the centaur might have been the
42:33
person that did it. But he's the only one that you assume might, uh,
42:36
have been the one to cast the spell. How
42:39
far ahead of us Daz did pass? Not that far. Did pass
42:42
the turtle. Oh, yeah. So turtle is running, like,
42:45
roughly with you guys as well. So Daz is in
42:48
third? Yes. Okay. We just need a
42:50
prize. Wine. We don't matter who finishes. Three of
42:53
us finish. That's maximum winning.
43:00
No, we're going to
43:03
lose. If only I could run a little
43:06
bit faster. Uh, and he
43:09
digs deep within himself. Digging.
43:15
I can do that. And finds a
43:17
magical reserve of energy,
43:20
uh, quickly
43:22
coursing through his body. And that
43:25
feeling spreads out to his limbs and his arms,
43:28
and they begin to pump faster. He would
43:31
be a little bit behind us, his little bird arms with
43:34
us, and legs start pumping, leading
43:37
you and. Yeah, can I be like, take me with you and jump on his
43:40
back? He just
43:42
zips away, ruins a moment. Peter
43:45
noss. Sorry. I
43:48
cast expedious retreat, uh,
43:51
expeditious retreat, which
43:54
allows me to take a bonus action to
43:56
dash on each of my turns. All right, situation.
43:59
Yeah,
44:02
there's more running. So, uh, sure enough, you
44:05
feel this energy well up m inside of you.
44:07
You feel your legs, all of the,
44:11
uh, exhaustion and the amino acids or
44:13
whatever the science is just kind of flushes.
44:16
You don't feel it anymore. Feel like you just
44:19
woke up and you have all the energy in the world and start
44:22
to move a little faster. A little faster and a little faster. And
44:25
sure enough. And you start to catch up. My arms
44:28
go back.
44:32
Look at him go. And,
44:35
uh, you shout out on your left. Ah. And you
44:38
shoot past, uh, the centaur,
44:41
and you start to run up. And you're catching up to the orc
44:43
guy who's leading the pack currently because he was probably the one
44:46
that cast the spell, as far as you assume. And you start to catch up to him. So you're
44:49
making your way up to him. The rest of you guys see
44:52
him kind of shoot past all of you because you were
44:55
literally, like, at the back of the pack. So now you're rushing up
44:58
towards second. Um, anybody else doing
45:01
anything in particular question? Yeah, we'll
45:04
let you go first. Okay, about hail of
45:07
thorns. Um, does it need to be a bow and
45:10
arrow? Could it be because it says
45:13
ranged attack or ammunition? Okay,
45:15
could I just either
45:18
throw a rock or a lasso and
45:21
cast hail of thorns? And now I just have,
45:24
like, 50 lassos. Okay,
45:26
just grab the guy in front or pull him
45:29
back, make him trip. Sure. Yeah. I'd
45:32
say the lasso makes probably the most amount of sense. I think
45:35
that's what I'd like to do. Tactical
45:38
teamwork, isn't it? Aoe? You have tactical
45:41
teamwork because you have two guys ahead of you. Tell me what
45:44
tactical teamwork does. Uh, so when a creature you can
45:46
see within 30ft makes an attack roll
45:49
against another creature that is within 5ft of
45:52
you, assuming at this point it's des, and I,
45:55
uh, use your reaction to grant advantage on
45:58
their attack roll. Look at that. Uh,
46:00
okay, so, uh, tell me what you're
46:03
doing to give him this advantage. Who are you
46:06
aiming for? Anyone specific with this?
46:09
The nearest person to you would be the
46:12
centaur, if that's who you want to target with this dead?
46:15
Yeah, I think the closest to me, the centaur
46:18
falling would probably be more beneficial. Yeah. Okay, sounds
46:21
good. So then I ask you,
46:23
theo, so what is he actually
46:25
doing?
46:28
He's pulling out a whiff and he's spinning it
46:31
in the air. And as he does, uh, it starts to turn green and it
46:34
starts to become thorny and it starts to kind
46:37
of. You see an occasional thorn or thistle
46:40
that kind of, like, shoots off of it as he starts to prepare the
46:42
spell. I think I'm going to go the heckle route
46:45
and just start yelling, hey, you pack mule
46:48
your, uh, horse's ass.
46:52
And hopefully one of these is going to get. All
46:54
right, turn around. I like it. Okay, sounds
46:57
good. Yeah, she definitely seems intended. She turns,
47:00
which distracts her from the road immediately ahead of her. And then,
47:03
dez, you're going to do this, uh, attack.
47:06
So you're going to do it as a ranged
47:08
weapon attack, essentially. With advantage?
47:11
Yes, with advantage. Okay,
47:14
we'll do that. 21. 21. Holy
47:17
crap. Yeah, you throw this lasso
47:20
on. Um, it catches her, like, over the neck. I mean,
47:23
it goes, like, over her head, hits her shoulders. So tell me a
47:26
little bit about what this, uh, thorn situation.
47:30
Uh, well, I would assume it would bring her to the ground. Yes.
47:33
And then she would take
47:36
one, uh, d. Ten of piercing damage.
47:39
Okay. Yeah, go for it. Let's roll. And just kind of, you
47:41
m know what? Let's, uh, make her suffer. Oh,
47:44
gosh. A little bit. Yeah. Seven damage. Seven
47:47
damage. All right, so you sling this
47:50
lasso over. It catches her right around the shoulders. It pulls
47:53
her arms in. She loses balance as you give it a
47:56
nice tug as you're running. And she goes flying kind of
47:59
backwards, sideways a little bit, hits the ground.
48:02
Obviously, her shoulder goes into some of these thorns
48:04
that were part of this whole whip situation in the first
48:07
place. Um, she screams out.
48:12
That was a weird scream. And then as you
48:15
guys rush past her, she goes, I'm
48:18
so close. I don't know
48:21
what you do with the whip out words.
48:23
So at least two of us are in the top.
48:27
How close are they to the finish line?
48:29
Uh, oh, yes, there is probably
48:33
one, two, three. So that'd be about,
48:35
uh, probably about 90ft
48:38
left. How
48:41
far is the Orc from us?
48:43
Probably me and
48:46
feather. Oh, from you guys? Probably about
48:48
20ft. Perfect. I'm going to say the
48:51
feather. I'm going to say, well, I'm not going to win this
48:54
race, so I'm going to make sure we can get the top
48:57
three. And I'm just going to. Roy's just going to
49:00
stop, pull out a short boat and just
49:03
start shooting at the.
49:08
That makes sense. Okay, roll an attack. Roll,
49:11
then 18.
49:16
Surprised because if so, I get my
49:19
sneak attack.
49:24
The interesting thing about it is he's surprised because I
49:27
believe with sneak attack, if, like, an ally is
49:30
within 5ft. Oh, yeah. You, Dave, you're
49:33
running.
49:37
That is twelve damage.
49:46
Mind you, I was aiming for hit. So if you
49:49
could take the damage to be more, um, accurate than I was aiming
49:52
for his leg, just to trip. Yeah, I didn't want to kill. No,
49:55
that's fair. I just wanted to destroy the knockout.
50:01
So, as you're firing, as you release this
50:04
arrow, you see a yellow, like,
50:07
tufted ball come flying out and it
50:10
hits you in the face just as you release the arrow. And you can
50:13
hear in the distance, um,
50:17
did I. The arrow
50:20
has already been released, and it flies forward
50:23
and slams into this guy's leg. And he goes,
50:26
Dave, you're running right next to him. And you just hear
50:32
you're running right next to him. It's like a really intense race right
50:35
now. All of a sudden, he just, boom. Face,
50:38
you just see him fall behind you. Uh,
50:41
all right. As you look
50:44
backwards, see your friend holding the bow? There's already a guard
50:47
that, yeah, I'm going to start running to the opposite. I'm going to run
50:50
to the opposite, jump over the
50:52
barricade and just start taking off.
50:58
And he's like,
51:01
all right, so, um, you've been
51:04
disqualified, but you've also, given your allies
51:07
a chance at possibly winning, uh,
51:12
well, you're neck and neck with Des.
51:15
I probably overtook him since he was holding the
51:18
centaur, actually. Yeah, I was going to say. Sorry. Yeah.
51:20
Dan. Uh,
51:23
uh, keto and then death.
51:26
So those are the top, and then, uh,
51:29
feather. That's the order. Right now. You're like, right, next turtle
51:32
is, like, right alongside you, being both got.
51:35
Nice job, man.
51:38
Not yet, no. Uh, nearing the end.
51:42
Just take out the toys.
51:45
Literally the last breath left.
51:52
Can I just, like, turn on cold?
51:57
So it's an unarmed attack. It'll be using your. Actually, it might
52:00
be labeled on there. Unarmed attack or
52:03
unarmed strike. Uh, wherever
52:06
your weapons are and your attacks are listed. Like how our
52:09
party, okay, was big enough that we could make sure we
52:12
get top three and then just play defense,
52:15
whatever your strength modifier is. So. What's
52:18
that? What's your strength modifier? The plus whatever on your strength. My whole goal
52:20
was never to win. It was literally just to support
52:24
you guys, to win for me, because I knew I get a surprise. I know
52:26
I'm the slowest member of the crew. No, I wouldn't say
52:29
there's a surprise attack, but, uh,
52:32
1818. Okay, yeah, plus trying to
52:34
kill strength. So four. Yeah. Okay.
52:37
So he's like, oh, nice, dude.
52:40
Nice race. Congratulations.
52:45
That's all I'm going to do. I'm going to do a dexterity saving throw for him.
52:48
Oh, yeah. He falls, completely unexpecting
52:51
it. You punch him. Oh, not cool. Dude
52:54
falls backwards. He's on his shell. He's like, oh,
52:57
no, not the shell. He's just,
53:00
like, wiggling around, trying to get himself off. Um, because
53:03
he's landed backwards on his shell, and he's kind of just stuck there like
53:06
turtles are. I feel bad, but I just keep going. Okay. All right,
53:08
sounds good. Um, you keep running as you guys are all
53:11
making it towards the finish line. You can see it in the distance. You're
53:14
almost there. You look behind you. You see the few remaining
53:17
members. The guy with the golden
53:20
priest robes, he's ways back behind you, but he's
53:23
still up and running. You see the Argentinassi. He's
53:26
also kind of, like, pretty close by. He's probably just slightly
53:29
ahead of the
53:31
clerical. The only guy that's left that was kind
53:34
of close was that metal, robotic,
53:37
clunky. So the clunky guy is just behind you.
53:40
The other ones are far enough back, and also just
53:43
behind them, you can see three of the
53:45
Minotaur chasing right after them. So the
53:48
minotaur just behind them, uh, coming up on their rears,
53:51
the clunky guy who's probably the only last
53:54
competition, per se, left. You hear
53:56
suddenly something, uh, because he's kind of close to you. Uh,
54:00
feather. Uh, you hear something inside him start to whir, and it starts
54:02
to work faster and faster,
54:06
and you see, uh, steam come shooting out of
54:08
his nostrils. And he goes,
54:12
and his footsteps start to get heavier as he starts to
54:15
suddenly start to, uh, get a little bit faster and starts making
54:18
up ground. As you guys are all
54:21
making it towards the finish line, you
54:24
see a, uh, barrel, massive barrel, fall
54:27
from m one of the rooftops, of course, slam into
54:30
the ground, um, the last obstacle of the race,
54:33
as a bunch of banana peels go
54:35
scattering everywhere.
54:38
Everybody make
54:41
a dexterity saving throw.
54:44
I'm really good at these. Can I utilize my pack
54:46
tactic? Nat 20.
54:50
I might win this rage
54:52
16. All right, that makes it.
54:55
I've got. Can I utilize pack tactic?
54:58
Tell me. Good thing matter. Good thing I ditched this
55:01
race.
55:05
Another next
55:06
113.
55:11
That's actually. Oh, that's just shy.
55:14
Okay, you leading the pack.
55:17
See these at the last second, I mean, the other
55:20
ones are slightly behind you. They don't see it quite in time. This
55:23
thing slams down, one of the bananas
55:26
flies out.
55:30
You can feel yourself starting to fall. The other
55:33
two of you come running and shoot past him as if those
55:36
banana peels aren't even there. Uh, feather, you're
55:38
coming up behind. Um, you see the
55:41
bananas. You're not too worried about it, but you do see your friends
55:44
starting to reach out and grab them. Yes.
55:48
Uh, I'll do another strength saving throw since you're catching
55:51
him. Uh, 1616. Okay, yeah, he
55:54
catches you, keeps you from falling and falling prone. The two of you are
55:57
still on your feet. I'm going to let you guys decide how you want it, because
56:00
you guys are basically, technically competing for third place at the moment.
56:03
So I'll let you guys decide that. But really quick. What's that?
56:05
He wins. Well, really quick, before you do that,
56:09
the big, clunky guy, heavy
56:11
footsteps. Uh, you can tell that his feet are,
56:14
like, digging into the ground and pushing back, which is allowing
56:16
him that extra amount of speed. But with that over amount of
56:19
commitment, does not go well with slippery
56:22
bananas. He steps on a particularly
56:24
slippery spot. An entire body
56:27
goes flying up in the air like some kind of ridiculous moment of
56:30
somebody slipping on the ice.
56:34
Uh, he flies backwards, his hat shooting off.
56:37
He has a completely bald head, and you can see the
56:40
sun hitting it and reflecting off of it. It's incredibly
56:42
shiny. Probably is
56:45
blinding the people immediately behind him, but he
56:48
crashes down, causing the whole ground underneath you to shake a
56:51
little bit. You see banana peels in an entire, like, five foot
56:54
radius around this man. He's so heavy. When he hits the ground, they
56:57
all fly up into the air and then fall back down. You two,
57:00
you're both on your feet. You've caught each other, you've helped each other. You're
57:03
racing towards, uh, dead. You cross the
57:06
finish line. First place. I think I was. Oh,
57:08
you were first. You were first. Okay, keto. First
57:11
place. Second place. Yes. You two,
57:14
well, you get special. There's still a good 15 to
57:17
20ft between you and the next participants, and then the
57:19
minotaurs directly behind them. You start racing towards the
57:22
finish line, but you're basically neck and neck. I just
57:29
like, kind of like you slow down. No, we're just
57:32
running. I just kind, uh,
57:35
of queen. Shove him injured.
57:41
Awesome. All right, in a show of friendship, uh,
57:44
you push your friend Quill
57:47
Smith across the finish line, giving him third
57:50
place. You coming in fourth.
57:54
As you guys are all crossing the finish line for this
57:57
race, there are referees that immediately call you over
58:00
to the side. They look very urgent. Get out of the way. Get out of
58:03
the way. All right, so you go off to the sides
58:06
as you do. They do this to everybody who comes through.
58:09
So the clerical guy and the air
58:11
genossi, eventually the robot dude, he picks himself up,
58:14
but he might have already been overtaken by the minotaurs. Whatever the case, the
58:17
three minotaurs, they come running through and they
58:20
just kind of charge straight. They just go straight. So obviously, you guys
58:23
are off to the side. They run straight. They slam into
58:26
a wall that has a big cage that comes
58:29
down and blocks them from getting out.
58:34
G-E-N-A-S-I
58:36
believe. Awesome. All right,
58:39
you guys have completed the
58:42
running of the Minotaur. There are a bunch of
58:45
people on the outside. They're all cheering, they're all
58:48
screaming, excited or whatever. Um, as you guys are kind
58:51
of like, they kind of just tell you guys to wait for a little bit.
58:53
As you guys are waiting, there's a few other participants that come
58:56
by. You see the centaur and you see the
58:59
Eladrin, and she's got her brother with her. At this point,
59:02
everybody that comes in after this point is looking kind of rough.
59:05
And then every once in a while, a minotaur will come rushing
59:08
through and they kind of like. Because they're like single
59:11
minotaurs and they're kind of like just chasing after a specific person.
59:14
The guards kind of have to run over. They throw nets, they use
59:16
prods or whatever to get them into the cage with the rest of
59:19
them. Um, whatever the case, eventually all six minotaur which
59:22
were to be released are all, uh, captured.
59:25
And all of the remaining participants, uh,
59:30
who didn't just leave or whatever the case, come, uh,
59:33
across the finish line. Anyone that was behind, uh,
59:36
looks pretty rough for sure, but you guys are all fine. You
59:39
guys made it through. As you guys are called
59:42
over for the big ceremony, uh, they have kind of one of those
59:45
like olympic style with the steps. So
59:48
1st, 2nd, 3rd, keto, you are put on the first
59:51
place block. Dez, you're put on the second place
59:53
block. And maki. Yep. You're put on the third
59:56
place block. Um, they award each of you. So
59:59
here are your prizes.
1:00:02
First place, which goes to
1:00:05
keto, you get 5000 gold
1:00:08
pieces. Wow. And the helm of the
1:00:11
minotaur. Interesting. It is a, uh,
1:00:14
rare, magical item. It's a helmet. It's
1:00:17
got big old horns that come out of it. It's got kind of a
1:00:20
slit because it kind of like comes over your eyes. It's got a little slit that
1:00:22
shows out. Um, essentially it gives you, uh, a plus
1:00:25
one to Ac while you're wearing it. And
1:00:28
additionally you get the ability to do a headbutt
1:00:31
charge. Wow. Uh, basically, if you move at least
1:00:34
20ft straight towards the creature and you hit it with an
1:00:37
unarmed strike, you can use your helmet. It gives you kind of a
1:00:40
bonus to melee. Yeah, actually
1:00:42
it is very good. Um, in second place,
1:00:45
des, you're given a sack with 3000
1:00:48
gold pieces and they, uh, kind of look at you because
1:00:51
you're kind of small for a second there. And they're like,
1:00:54
I don't know, you got this. And they pull out
1:00:57
this giant, two like double sided great
1:01:00
axe. Yeah, it is the great axe
1:01:03
of the minotaur. It's a two handed weapon. It's uncommon
1:01:06
as far as weapons go. Um, it
1:01:09
deals two d ten
1:01:12
slashing damage on a hit. Wow.
1:01:16
And here's the awkward, um, part. Only large
1:01:19
creatures or larger can wield it.
1:01:21
Darn. And it gives you an extension reach
1:01:24
of 5ft. So whatever you decide to do with
1:01:27
it. Are any of us
1:01:29
large creatures? I don't think any of us are large
1:01:32
creatures. I mean, kenku are average,
1:01:35
right? There's a
1:01:38
feat that might let you hold on to,
1:01:41
um, larger weapons. So, um, they also tell you, they
1:01:43
say, oh, by the way, the command word for it is,
1:01:46
uh, megator.
1:01:49
Oh, that's why. Okay, real quick. So
1:01:52
it actually shrinks. It's a normal grade
1:01:55
axe. And then when they tell you the command word, I
1:01:58
don't know if you want to try it, but when you try it
1:02:01
and you say megatar, the thing, like, extends an extra
1:02:03
5ft, becomes longer, bigger. That's when you can only
1:02:06
do. Got you the extended reach. But otherwise. And that's when it does.
1:02:09
The theory, if I threw
1:02:12
it and said, megator, that's a good
1:02:15
idea. Okay.
1:02:18
But otherwise, you can still wield it as just the regular form.
1:02:21
It'll just do the regular,
1:02:23
right? Yes. One d twelve until. I think it's one d
1:02:26
ten. Is it
1:02:27
twelve if
1:02:30
you have it extended? Okay. Yeah. The one version you
1:02:33
like, chuck it to an enemy, and they catch it and say the word and it just
1:02:36
goes.
1:02:39
That's another good way of using it. And then you just
1:02:42
frisbee it. Um, megator. And it cuts the guy in
1:02:44
half. That would be dope. That'd be Brad.
1:02:47
All right, perfect. And then, uh, maki. In third
1:02:50
place, you're given a sack with a thousand gold pieces
1:02:53
inside of it, and you're giving a small vial with
1:02:56
a. Sorry, a brown liquid inside.
1:02:59
And on it, there's a little sticker of what looks like kind of a
1:03:01
bowl's head. And they tell you, they say, uh,
1:03:04
make sure you use this responsibly. Uh, we are
1:03:07
in no way responsible for any ways that
1:03:10
you might use this potion in the future. But, uh, just so you
1:03:13
know, it's a potion of minotaur strength.
1:03:16
If you drink it, it's going to give you a plus three. Well, uh,
1:03:19
they don't say plus three, but
1:03:21
basically, if you drink, it'll give you a plus three to all strength
1:03:24
based rolls and strength saving throws for an
1:03:27
hour. Uh, I shouldn't drink it,
1:03:31
not at the moment, but at some
1:03:34
point in. Thankfully, he didn't win it because he just be like,
1:03:37
I'm quite thirsty,
1:03:40
thanks.
1:03:46
I was quite parched.
1:03:50
Shoulder checks a wall and it just shatters.
1:03:55
Better. You are given a bronze medal to
1:03:58
commemorate your participation in successful crossing of the
1:04:01
finish line. I have a question
1:04:04
from our elevated pedestal. Where do
1:04:06
we see our good friend fizzle? Fingers fizzle
1:04:09
in the crowd? Um, do a perception check. I can answer
1:04:12
it. I was going to say, I don't know, 1919? Okay.
1:04:15
No. Okay, well, you very. There. Well,
1:04:18
can tell that he is not in the crowd. You're
1:04:21
not sure where he's at. As the ceremonies are kind of coming.
1:04:24
Prison, running around naked
1:04:28
always
1:04:29
one's
1:04:34
a little happy about it. As you guys
1:04:37
are finishing the sort of award
1:04:39
ceremony section, there's a big stage, and,
1:04:42
uh, the orc guy that you shot with a bow and
1:04:45
arrow, he comes limping in. Uh, somebody
1:04:48
pulls the arrow out of his leg. And then they hand him a
1:04:51
potion. Uh, it looks like some kind of, like, goth sort
1:04:54
of punk chick. Uh, she hands him a
1:04:56
potion. You see the injury
1:04:59
on his leg heal up. He looks over to your group, he gives you
1:05:02
the middle finger. And then he walks up to the
1:05:05
stage, and he and the chick and a group of other
1:05:07
people all start taking up instruments, and they all
1:05:10
start playing music. Uh, uh, they are the
1:05:13
band for this kind of closing
1:05:16
afterwards ceremony. And, uh, as he steps
1:05:19
up there, there's another guy that actually is kind of like the forerunner for
1:05:21
this band. He's the lead singer. Uh, he is an
1:05:24
ASMR, I believe that's right. Excuse me. That's kind of
1:05:27
ASMR. ASmr. He is an
1:05:30
ASMR. No, he is an ASMR.
1:05:32
Um, he's sort of like a dark angel esque
1:05:35
kind of a character. He's got these black wings that come out of his back.
1:05:38
He has kind of this very deep tan skin.
1:05:41
Um, and he says, what's up,
1:05:44
everybody? This is iron forge,
1:05:47
and we're here to play for you guys. If you enjoyed our music,
1:05:50
make sure to support us come to our concerts. We'll be
1:05:53
playing at the battle wagons race. We'll be in the battle
1:05:55
wagons race, uh, on our
1:05:58
mobile stage. Heavy metal. But
1:06:01
for now, enjoy. Our music starts playing this kind of, like,
1:06:03
hard rock, heavy metal kind of a type of
1:06:06
music. Is, uh, there anything else you guys are wanting to do
1:06:09
before you leave the area? I don't know. Whatever you're going to go
1:06:12
off to next, I won't get into that. But is there anything you'd like to do
1:06:15
before that? We need a place to store all the
1:06:17
money, so I think we should just head back to the house.
1:06:21
Yeah, we should just go back and
1:06:25
store it. M
1:06:28
can we take count of all the gold that we
1:06:31
got? So it should be
1:06:34
10,000 total, I think. Right?
1:06:37
Okay. Yeah. Plus what we already. All right,
1:06:40
perfect. So you guys take your winnings, you head
1:06:43
out, um, you wave a goodbye to rusty and his budy
1:06:45
grizzletooth. Um, maybe you'll see them at
1:06:49
the rock bottom. Maybe not. Oh, yeah,
1:06:51
he was fine. You just punched him. Well,
1:06:54
it was pretty minimal, but he looks like somebody that took a hit
1:06:57
before. He kind of, like, gives you a nod, but he also
1:07:00
just doesn't look super happy about it. But whatever the case, do you think
1:07:03
they understand? Uh, you've definitely
1:07:06
made a couple of friends during this race. Probably
1:07:08
a lot more enemies. Uh, additionally,
1:07:12
we leave things with, uh, that note that
1:07:15
feather McGregor had received from the captain of
1:07:18
the sort of secret y police group that he is a
1:07:21
part of about wanting to see him immediately. So we'll
1:07:23
have to come back to that. Can I say one thing about that?
1:07:26
Sure. No. Can I pull it out? Yeah. And be like, guys,
1:07:29
I got this note. This is from my former, I
1:07:32
want to say former captain. You
1:07:35
guys up for a little fun? There might be involved.
1:07:38
I'm sure he has some money. All right, let's go pay my budy a
1:07:41
visit. Yeah, the race ended, but they didn't
1:07:44
say we had to stop
1:07:47
killing people. And
1:07:49
with that, we'll close out this episode of
1:07:52
Criminals of Isla New Miss.
1:08:06
Thank you so much for listening to Criminals of Isla numis,
1:08:09
a dudge and Dragons fifth edition actual play podcast
1:08:12
set in a homebrew world created by me, Skyler Gorset.
1:08:15
If you've been enjoying our show so far, be sure to, like, follow and
1:08:18
subscribe wherever it is that you're streaming from, whether that be
1:08:21
Spotify, Apple podcasts, YouTube, or anywhere else that
1:08:24
podcasts can be streamed. Or just check us out on our website,
1:08:27
sessionseroheroes.com. Additionally, if
1:08:30
you enjoy coin, you might enjoy some of session zero
1:08:32
heroes, other shows such as our benders and brews and
1:08:35
avatar Legends actual play, where we jump into the
1:08:38
world of Avatar, the last Airbender and Legend of Korra
1:08:41
using the Avatar Legends system created by magpie
1:08:43
Games or one of our various one shots which we are
1:08:46
currently coming out with, where we use a variety of games and
1:08:49
TTRBG systems to tell a variety of fun, exciting,
1:08:52
emotional, and hilarious stories. Within our group, we
1:08:55
have all sorts of other content that we highly recommend
1:08:58
checking out within the SDH channel, and
1:09:01
more to come in the future. To find out more about what
1:09:04
we do at Session Zero Heroes and to keep up with a lot of the other
1:09:07
content we produce and be made aware of, uh, future
1:09:09
projects, shows, and content, be sure to follow us
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on social media, on Facebook, X, Instagram,
1:09:15
and Discord.
1:09:16
These are all great ways to get.
1:09:18
In contact with our team, as well as to keep up to date
1:09:21
with everything that we're creating and working on. We'd love to see you
1:09:24
there. In the meantime, thank you so much for listening. And
1:09:27
don't forget to stay curious, stay.
1:09:29
Heroic until we roll again.