Latest / Mindful Success Path / First Date Tips: How to Be Mysterious Without Playing Games
Transcript
- 0:32One of the biggest mistakes that women make when they're dating is they talk too damn much and they don't know how to be mysterious.
- 0:40They oftentimes, mistake being mysterious with being cold or withholding information, or playing games or being manipulative.
- 0:49But the reality is that if you don't learn how to be mysterious.
- 0:53Then what ends up happening is that men disengage.
- 0:57So in this video, I'm gonna be showing you how to create healthy intrigue that makes him want to see you again and again and again because this is a difference between women who get successful second dates and eventually commitment.
- 1:10Versus those who get ghosted.
- 1:13Hi, my name is Amanda.
- 1:14Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
- 1:21So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
- 1:29Lately, we've been talking a lot about relationships.
- 1:31It's been the most highly requested topic on this channel, so make sure to subscribe, hit the notification bell.
- 1:39Uh, and if you like it, please make sure to give it a like, because it helps us get it in front of more people.
- 1:43There's so much confusion out here on these internet streets about what our healthy relationship dynamics and what are not, so you can help us get it in front of more people and honestly, help heal the collective consciousness by giving it.
- 1:56I like, and as always, I'm gonna have extra resources for those of you who want to go deeper.
- 2:01I will mention them throughout the video.
- 2:03The number one place you can start, for those of you who want private coaching and for me to look at your situation specifically and help you with your strategy specifically, is to apply for one-on-one coaching.
- 2:14I have very limited spots available because of upcoming travel and things like that.
- 2:18Uh, so they are very limited.
- 2:19It's first come, first serve.
- 2:21You can apply for that.
- 2:23Uh, below.
- 2:24So here's what we're gonna cover in this video.
- 2:26You're gonna learn the difference between mystery and manipulation.
- 2:29You're going to learn the five ways to create healthy intrigue.
- 2:33You're gonna learn what to share versus what to keep private.
- 2:36And you're gonna learn conversation techniques that build attraction.
- 2:39So here's what mystery is not.
- 2:42Mystery is not game playing and it's not being manipulative.
- 2:45I know a lot of women out here are honestly taught to be extremely manipulative in order to extract from men.
- 2:52That is not what we're talking about here.
- 2:54So it's not being called, it's not giving one word answers or acting disinterested.
- 2:59It's not faking the fact that you don't have any interest.
- 3:02In fact, it's quite the opposite.
- 3:03You have to learn how to be curious about the other person.
- 3:05It's not about withholding basic information, so refusing to share normal.
- 3:10Details about yourself when you're meeting someone for the first time.
- 3:14It's not about playing hard to get, it's not about creating drama and chaos.
- 3:19Healthy men hate drama and chaos, and it's not about being totally unavailable, right?
- 3:26So a lot of times people get confused'cause they're like, oh my gosh, but like you tell me not to be.
- 3:30Two available.
- 3:31So then a lot of times what women will do is they'll go to the other extreme where they're completely unavailable because human beings love to go to extremes.
- 3:38And when we're healthy and when we're emotionally regulated, usually the, the thing that works is somewhere in the middle.
- 3:46So here's why the game playing totally backfires.
- 3:48It creates anxiety, it builds walls, it attracts the wrong men.
- 3:54That's the most important thing here because players, right, and people who wanna take advantage of you, they love the chase, but not the commitment.
- 4:02So that's what it's gonna attract and it feels.
- 4:04Totally inauthentic.
- 4:05You don't feel like yourself, and that's why so many of you complain about it, right?
- 4:09Because you're confusing being mysterious and being strategic with your vulnerability, which is just the smart thing to do with being manipulative.
- 4:18So then instead of learning how to communicate mystery and learning how to be vulnerable when it's appropriate, y'all jump to the other extreme and become chatty Cathys, and they kill attraction, right?
- 4:28So.
- 4:29How do we get in the middle?
- 4:30What makes the healthy mystery?
- 4:33So the true definition of mystery is depth over surface is quality over quantity.
- 4:39It's intrigue through interest, and it's about being a authentically alluring, right?
- 4:44So it's having layers that he's gonna wanna discover.
- 4:47It's about sharing the meaningful things, but sharing them gradually.
- 4:51Not all at once.
- 4:52It's about being genuinely fascinating.
- 4:54You are an interesting person.
- 4:56Uh, I recently did a video where I said, people need to learn how to be interesting and interest.
- 5:01So this is the part about being interesting as a person, and it's about natural magnetism through feminine energy.
- 5:08And the psychology behind this is that it creates a curiosity gap because humans are wired to want to fill in the missing information.
- 5:17It also, uh, creates an investment principle with men, right?
- 5:21Because we value what we work toward, especially healthy masculine men.
- 5:26They want to know that they actually achieved something.
- 5:30And then in addition to that, um, it's a little bit of a dopamine response too, because the brain rewards the pursuit of knowledge and then it's also creates feminine magnetism because mystery is a naturally.
- 5:42Feminine and attractive.
- 5:44And when you have healthy mystery, it creates anticipation because he looks forward to learning more about you.
- 5:50He gets curious about you.
- 5:52He becomes very interested in you.
- 5:53It also creates investment because he puts effort into understanding and pursuing you.
- 5:58It activates his desire to pursue you.
- 6:02It creates respect because he values your depth and complexity, and it creates attraction because he's gonna be magnetically.
- 6:09Pull to you.
- 6:10So here's how to create healthy mystery, right?
- 6:13Number one, share stories, not facts.
- 6:15I went into this on a recent video where I talked about the flow formula and how to have conversations in first dates, and one of the things is about rather than being very factual in how it is that you describe your job, for example, you can talk about why you love your job or why you got into.
- 6:34That field.
- 6:35And what it does is that it gives him, um, the feeling of meaning, not just data, because men don't become attracted to you when you just give them data and logic.
- 6:43They become attracted to you when they feel something.
- 6:46The other thing you wanna do is use like something called the 70 30 rule.
- 6:50So share 70% right?
- 6:52Give him enough to understand and connect because you don't wanna stonewall him.
- 6:56Either, but keep 30% to yourself, right?
- 6:59So leave room for curiosity and future discovery.
- 7:03So for example, you can share your passion for travel, but maybe save your specific destinations of where you wanna travel to for later.
- 7:12And that creates a lot of balance.
- 7:14So it's enough to build connection.
- 7:16But not enough to satisfy all curiosity.
- 7:20You also wanna learn how to ask intriguing questions.
- 7:22So this is the part where we move from, we ourselves are an interesting person to, we are now interested in the other person, and you have to know how to do both, in both dating and sales, for those of you who are in sales, right?
- 7:36So a surface level question would be, what do you do for work?
- 7:40You're like interviewing him or interrogating him, and they don't like that.
- 7:44A mysterious question would be, what makes you lose track of time?
- 7:48What do you love so much that you just get so into it and before you know it, it's the evening and you've totally lost track of time?
- 7:56Things like that.
- 7:57Basic would be, do you have hobbies?
- 7:59Again, that interrogation intriguing would be what's something that you're passionate about that might surprise me.
- 8:06Do you see the difference between like being very logical but then actually being interested and curious about the other person and asking more than just surface level questions?
- 8:16So.
- 8:17The next one is sharing your inner world gradually.
- 8:20So a lot of women, unfortunately, will go on dates and they're sharing way too much, right?
- 8:25Um, they're sharing about their trauma.
- 8:27Sometimes they'll move to another country and they'll be like, I'm here'cause I have a horrible relationship with my dad, blah, blah, blah.
- 8:33Like, they just.
- 8:34They just are word vomiting all over the guy.
- 8:37And number one, this person has not earned the right to know that information.
- 8:41So it's also a safety issue at that, at that juncture, uh, because they have not earned the right to know those things.
- 8:48So you have to be, when it comes to traumas and things like that, these are things that you share very.
- 8:54Gradually, this is not something that you share off the bat.
- 8:58So when it comes to your inner world, when it comes to things that are very sensitive, when it comes to things that are very personal to you, those are things that you share over time, not immediately, or in a lot of cases, even very early on.
- 9:12So if you get the Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program for$27, I go more into, um.
- 9:18What conversations are happening when in each phase of dating?
- 9:21And then finally, you wanna learn how to master the art of the pause.
- 9:25So after he asks a question, rather than blo word vomiting right away, take a moment to think before answering right?
- 9:32Take your time, breathe and get into your body and be present in the moment when you're sharing something.
- 9:39Maybe you pause mid story and you let a little bit of anticipation build and in conversation.
- 9:44You know, you allow for comfortable silences and because that actually creates intimacy.
- 9:49And what happens for most women is they hear silence and they get very anxious, and then they feel like they need to fill it, right?
- 9:55Because they're like, oh my God, I'm silent.
- 9:57Are we connecting?
- 9:58Is this happening?
- 9:58Does he like me?
- 9:59Blah, blah, blah, and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- 10:00You just start talking because you start making up all this stuff in your head about what the silence actually means.
- 10:07The silence means nothing about you in a negative way.
- 10:11But it does create a gap.
- 10:13It does create curiosity and allows you to be in the present moment.
- 10:17So like silent pauses are not a bad thing.
- 10:20You don't constantly have to be a chatty Kathy.
- 10:23So I know what you're probably thinking and you're like, oh my God, this sounds great in theory, but what do I actually say?
- 10:29How do I craft these mysterious responses in the moment?
- 10:33What if I freeze up?
- 10:34What if I forget what, like what if all?
- 10:36Like what if I'm on a date and then I start talking and then I realize that I start.
- 10:40Screwed up.
- 10:40What do I do after?
- 10:42So I cover all this stuff in the Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program, which you can get for$27 below.
- 10:48And when you go to the order form, um, you're gonna have the option to add in like a hundred plus uh, scripts on how to create magnetic conversations with men in the different phases of dating.
- 10:59So what you're gonna get in feminine Magnetism mastery, you're gonna understand the psychology of polarity, how it applies to dating.
- 11:06How to go from like a first date to commitment and the different conversations that are happening at each stage, you're gonna learn that flow formula that I mentioned in a previous video and how to use it.
- 11:17With dates, and then when you get the magnetism conversations along with your order, you're gonna get word for word responses for the most common first date questions you're gonna get mysterious and magnetic conversation starters that create intrigue.
- 11:30There's over a hundred scripts in there for every situation you can imagine.
- 11:35And the benefits of this are, are you're gonna understand the psychology of how polarity works.
- 11:40You're gonna become a lot more magnetic.
- 11:42You're never gonna run outta things to say.
- 11:44You're gonna create real authentic connection and intrigue, and you're gonna feel a lot more confident when you're going in dating situations.
- 11:53So all you gotta do is click the link in the description for Feminine Magnetism Mastery.
- 11:57You can get both of those things and you can get instant access, so you can start understanding how these things work and how to use them in real life dating situations because.
- 12:07The reality is that mystery isn't manipulation.
- 12:10It's authentic depth and intrigue.
- 12:12It's also not that complicated.
- 12:14Once you really understand how to do this, and in both of those products, it's gonna teach you exactly what to do, what to say, how to say it, when to say it.
- 12:23So you don't go on first dates and you're in this.
- 12:27Shit.
- 12:27Storm of anxiety because you're like, does he like me?
- 12:30Oh, what about this?
- 12:31Pause.
- 12:31Oh, what about this?
- 12:32We're gonna go through the psychology of every single little thing that can happen, uh, when you are beginning to date someone all the way through to commitment.
- 12:40So if this video helps you understand the difference between mystery and games, and make sure to give it a thumbs up and comment below with your biggest challenge when it comes to first.
- 12:48Date conversations, um, because it's gonna help me create more videos and things like that, that I can answer some of these questions for you guys.
- 12:56And then make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bells you don't mind say single video that we have coming out on this channel.
- 13:01And please remember that when it comes to dating and healthy dating dynamics, you don't need to play games in order to be intriguing and mysterious because your authentic depth.
- 13:11And who you are as a person is already mysterious.
- 13:15It's just a matter of learning the psychology of how to communicate these things in a healthy way and gradually over time.
- 13:22Thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one.