Latest / NO FILTER / Joe Rogan Experience _2472 - Jeff Ross

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Joe Rogan Experience _2472 - Jeff Ross · NO FILTER

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: by night, all day. What's up, dog? Joe. Good to
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: see you, my friend.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Same here, man. What's crack-a-lack-a? Life is good. Happy to
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: be in Austin, Texas.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Happy to have you. Are you doing Kill Tony tonight?
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: I'll show up at Kill Tony tonight.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Nice. Of course.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: My guy. So happy for him.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's killing it.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: He always talks about us. As his early supporters.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, for sure.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: I love that guy.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: He's the best. I mean, that show is on fire.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: It's a fucking runaway train right now.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Everywhere I go, Kill Tony, Kill Tony, Kill Tony. Love
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: you on Kill Tony.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: It's such a fun show. You know, what a great idea.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Kind of amazing nobody thought it up.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Well, he just kind of put his open mics and
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: his roasts and his personality and his friends and has
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: built a community. It's kind of amazing.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's incredible. He's the new Johnny Carson. I mean,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: think about how many, like, Adam Ray's killing it, selling
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: out giant theaters. All these guys that, you know, came
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: through that show are fucking destroying now.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: This is our tribe, Joe.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: It's amazing. It's a good time for comedy.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Did I hear that you have a German Shepherd?
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: No. No, I have a Golden Retriever, and I have
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Oh, okay. Little tiny fella.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Somebody told me something different.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: No. I love German Shepherds, but I don't have one.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: I have a German Shepherd.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: They're the best. That's what I'm talking about. You have
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: to exercise the shit out of them, though. They need work.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: She loves to run around and dig and climb and adventures.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: They need tasks. They're not like my Golden. He's just
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: cool just chilling, laying on his back in his belly rub.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, I follow him on Instagram. Don't worry.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: He's the best.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: I look for my mornings with him.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, they're a very low-maintenance dog. And he's trained.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: You could train him very easily. But as far as
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: like a guard dog and that kind of useless dog.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: My dog can like sit, stay, and run around frantically.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I'll be like, run around frantically. And she'll just run around.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Well, they have so much energy. Those dogs are just
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: designed to work.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I put her to work for two months this summer
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: on Broadway. She came out at the end of my
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: show and howled with me in the audience.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: She can howl on cue?
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: We taught her. I had the same trainer that did
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Sandy from the show Annie, like from when I was
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: a kid. Bill Bertolone. And he's like, I could teach her.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: She's like a wild rescue German shepherd from the desert.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: And there she was, like, came out, jumped on a couch,
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: hit her mark, turned to the audience, and we, like, sang.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's awesome.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: She had her own dressing room.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Nipsey.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Her name's Nipsey. And then when the run was over,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: she was like, no more work. I need something else
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: to do.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they need things to do. Like people that just
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: have them and have them in an apartment and don't
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: go anywhere, like that's a crazy thing to do to
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: a dog like that. Yeah. Oh, look at her. Oh,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: my God.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Look how sweet. So she's a rescue dog? She is.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Where'd you find her?
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: They found her in a Bummy breeder in Reno during
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: the pandemic. I had an old dog. I had an
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: old senior dog that my ex found on the street.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: And we took care of her at the beginning of
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: the pandemic. And the ex left, left the dog. So
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: it was just me and this old beat-up street dog
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: for a few months. And the vet was like, I
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: got another, a puppy, German Shepherd. Oh, she was a puppy?
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: This one was, yeah.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's great.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: So now it's like five years ago already. So she's
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: my bestie.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Aww. Aww.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: And we do everything. I mean, I just love her
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: to pieces. Even getting on the plane to come here
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: yesterday as a part of me was like, should I
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: bring her and let her run around the Four Seas
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: for a couple days and whatever. But, yeah, it's hard
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: leaving them. It's like I have a kid. She looks
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: at me looking for the buzzwords. Are we going? Are
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: we staying? Are we eating?
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I know. They get separation anxiety big time. And they
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: get very attached to one person. Right. Yeah. You're her daddy.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: She's just so sweet. She'll lay in bed, never wakes me,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: rolls over, arms up, ready to get. She can't start
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: the day without a full belly rub. I almost like
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: hold her legs and play her like a guitar. And
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: she just, you know, tongues out, just complete euphoria. Once
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: a week I take all her collars off and just
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: rub the neck and just her eyes start watering.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: That's so cute.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Highly right. I never was into dogs. I'm slightly allergic.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: My sister got snapped on by a Doberman when we
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: were little. So I was always a little afraid. And
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: then it was just kind of forced on me during
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: the pandemic because all these dogs needed homes. So now
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: here I am. I'm a freaking doggy daddy.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, I love dogs. I've always had dogs. I will
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: never not have dogs. I love them. I love them.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: What do you think it is? They're just these amazing
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: creatures that just love the shit out of you. And
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: especially if you train them from the time they're puppies...
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: and you give them nothing but love, they're so connected
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: to you. And then, you know, it's just awesome. You
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: wake up in the morning, and it's always positive. It's always, hello, hello.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I wake up with Marshall, and he starts whining and whimpering.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: And I do this thing in the morning. I go,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: good morning, sir. Good morning, sir. He's wagging his tail,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: and he's rolling around on his back, and I'm rubbing
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: his belly, and he's giving me kisses. He loves it.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: He gets so excited to see me in the morning.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: It's like his ritual. He knows the ritual's coming. He's
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: going to get all this love.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Does he sleep in your room?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: No, no. My wife is a little bit allergic, so
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: he sleeps outside the room. Right. But he is... He's
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: just a giant love sponge. That's what he is. It's
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: like he loves everybody. Everybody who comes in the house... Like,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: he'd meet you for the first time. He's like, I
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: can't believe you're here. He's just so excited to meet everybody.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: My dog checks everybody. She's got to, like, check them
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: out first.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Of course. German Shepherd.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: It's different. And if somebody has, like, chemical imbalances or
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: a little off, she lets me know.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. You got screwball friends? Yeah.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Well, every now and then, you know, comics will be
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: off their minds, and they'll come over and be like,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I used to know that person. I don't know that
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: person anymore. The dog just, like, alerts me.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, they're very watchful. They're shepherds. They're
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: protecting you. They're protecting their daddy.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: She's funny on the plane. I've only flown with her twice,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: but once to New York and then once back after
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: we were done on Broadway. It was nine months later.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: She literally knew how to walk on the plane, where
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: to go, where her seat was, remembers everything like a person.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: They're very smart dogs, very smart dogs. It's one of
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: the reasons why they need someone to exercise. Like, the
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: dumbest dogs can just lay around and do nothing. Yeah.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: But really smart dogs, they need a lot of activity.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Especially shepherds, because they're working dogs.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: If I leave her alone too long, she'll dig up
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: the backyard. She needs something to do.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they get crazy. They're like an athlete. Yeah. You know,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: they need work. They need to go.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: And they don't need a lot of food. They don't
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: need a lot. She's like.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: What do you feed her?
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: You know, I used to overfeed her and give her
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: a lot of table scraps and spoil her, and then
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: I learned... more recently, that if I keep her to
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: like a cup and a half of kibble a day
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: that the vet recommended.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: You should get her on raw food. Sorry. Raw food
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: or fresh food. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I used to feed
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: my dogs kibble too. I had one dog that got
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: cancer and I read about all these dogs getting cancer and,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: you know, they get fat so easy when you give
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: them kibble and it's just because that stuff can sit
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: on a shelf forever. Yeah. It's like you wouldn't eat it.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Why are they eating it? Right. It's not healthy for them.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I put a little turkey in the Turkey's great.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Real food is great. Real food for your dog is
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: the way to go. I feed my dog farmer's dog.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: It comes frozen. It has to be frozen. Right. And
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: the way they attack it versus the way they attack kibble,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: like kibble's like, okay, they're eating. No big deal. Yeah.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: But they just can't wait to eat this stuff. Like
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: they get excited. Like the little guy, little Charlie, he
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: literally leaps up in the air trying to get to
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: the counter when I'm putting the food in his bowl.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: It gets nuts. They love it. It's real food. It's
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: human-grade food for dogs.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: I have to check that out.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. It comes frozen. And also they give it
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: to you the right portions for your dog so you
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: don't have to think about it. Like you put in
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: your dog's weight, what breed your dog is, and whether
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: your dog's overweight or not. And they measure it out
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: calorie-wise so it's specific to your dog.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: My dog's weight is good, but I got to get
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: her to stop smoking. She's just got to stop.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: It's funny. She used to really hate when I light
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: up a joint.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, really?
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: When she was little, she'd run in the other room.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: But now she's just like, oh, that's daddy.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Well, she'd probably get a little paranoid. I used to
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: have a pit bull that she would get paranoid if
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: she was in the room when we got high. And
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I was realizing, oh, this poor dog. She's getting high, too.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: She was a rescue dog, too. I found her. She
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: was covered in mane. She was so sad. She was
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: eating out of garbage cans.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: It's heartbreaking.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. A friend of mine found her, and they took
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: her in, and then they called me, and they said,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: do you want another dog? I had one dog already.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I said, absolutely. And as soon as I saw her,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh. Yeah.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: They're good together.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: It was so horrible. She was covered in mane. She
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: had little scabs on her and everything. It all went
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: away within like two months of food. But that dog,
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: because of living on the street, she could never get
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: enough food. She was always like raiding garbage cans and stuff.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Like you'd have to lock up the garbage can, strap
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: it down with a bungee cord. She would tip them
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: over and she was never full. Even though she would
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: like get fat, she was never full.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: Just in case.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: It was just, you know, she was starving when I
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: found her.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: I had the old dog first and then the young
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: German Shepherd. So the old one had all these street
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: habits like that. And she taught him to the young dog,
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: like the young dog, walks down the stairs as if
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: she has a broken back hip.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: And she learned how to get in the car from
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: an old dog, so two legs. She could leap right in.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: She's a kid, but she still goes two paws up,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: and I have to pick her up.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how Marshall does it.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Overprotective like the old dog.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Marshall, I think he probably could jump in my car,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: but it's like, He knows I'll just lift him up
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: because I've done it since he was a puppy. So
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: we do this little thing. I go, you ready? He
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: puts his paws out. I go, one, two, three. It's
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: always one, two, three, up. So he gets ready.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Do they talk to you? My dog howls with me
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: in the morning.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: No, Marshall only talks when he wants to come inside.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Like if he's outside, he'll just bark once at the door.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: He's really good. He's the best dog.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: What does his bark sound like?
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Let me in. It's like, hey, I'm out here. Come on.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: You know, he's out until he's not. You know, he's
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: out until he's bored. And then he just lets you know.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: It's not annoying.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: The old dog, if I had to put her, like, if, like,
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: a guy came over to work on the house or something,
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I had to put her, like, in a bedroom or
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: a bathroom. She was, you know, a big, big dog.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: She would gnaw on the handles. So I have a
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: house full of, like, chrome. Door handles that all have
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: like bite marks the bite is amazing Yeah, you.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Got to give them things to chew on all the time.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: You know there's two toys all over my house Yeah,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: everywhere my dog has Marshall has like a big box
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: filled with toys Yeah, and it was like and he
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: just goes in and picks one out.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, randomly. Yeah, and so it is I go What are.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: You gonna get which toy is like looking around? Picks
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: one out and then him and the little dog they
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: play tug-of-war. It's adorable.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: I So they get along.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: You knew they'd get along before you got the psycho.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: He's the easiest dog to get along with. He gets
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: along with everything and everybody. Jamie's got a psycho dog.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Jamie's got this little French bulldog that's like a little
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: meat missile. Yeah. He's a nut. He's great. He's awesome. Oh, yeah.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: He's nuts. He's three. Almost three. He's two and a half.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: He's a little psycho. He's jacked. He's super jacked. Really?
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: He's like this little French bulldog, but he's just fucking jacked.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: And him and Marshall just play insane. It's insane. Like,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Carl throws himself through the air at Marshall. Because he
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: knows that Marshall is, like, super gentle. And they just
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: play back and forth. But it's adorable.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: If a dog is small enough, like a little chihuahua-type dog,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: they can put their head inside. My dog will just
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: open her mouth and let another dog just roll her
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: head inside her mouth.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: No instincts.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy. It just wants it to play.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: It's just nuts that those used to be wolves. They've
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: turned wolves into these little tiny things you could carry around.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, in a thousand years, they'll be, are they
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: getting smarter the way humans are evolving? I wonder.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: That's a good question. I wonder. I mean, I think
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: there would have to be a reason for them to
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: get smarter. You know, some dogs are like the dogs
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: that are trained, like a Belgian Malinois. Those are really
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: smart dogs. You know, those are dog, military dogs. Yeah.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Those dogs, you cannot just leave that dog alone. No.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: It's like a shepherd times 10. Yeah. They look like
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: shepherds sort of, but those dogs, they're so intelligent. Yeah.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: They are constantly scanning everything and looking for everything. They
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: know when you're weird. They know everything. Right. Yeah. So
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: those dogs have to be smart because they have jobs.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: They use them like those are the dogs they sicced
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: on like Osama bin Laden's crew. Right. They open the
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: door and they breach. Dogs run in.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Incredible.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: My dog's such a wimp compared to all that.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: So is mine.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: She just wants to play.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, these are the only dogs that, well, I've had
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: a couple dogs before. Like I had a dog that
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: was a Shibu Inu mix, and he was kind of
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: a pussy. And I had a Mastiff before that. But
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: mostly I've had like big guard dogs. Right. You know,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: and these are the dogs, first dogs I've had that are,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: they're not guarding shit. Yeah.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: They guard your emotions, buddy. They guard your emotions.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: They're just sweet. They're just awesome to have. It's like
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: you just have love around you all the time, and
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: they're never in a bad mood. There's never a day
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: where he's never had a bad day in his life.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Every day is a great day. Every day he's happy.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Even if you're not there?
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Well, he gets sad if I'm not there for sure. But, like,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: I pull out the ball. It's always the same thing.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: It's never, like, one day I'm like, maybe he's going
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: to get bored of this fucking ball. Nope. I pull
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: out that ball. Oh, oh, the ball. The ball's out.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Let's go. Bouncing around, wagging his tail, jumping up. I
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: got a ball that's got, like, the stick. Like, it's
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: like a long curved stick so you can throw the
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: ball further.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: And, you know, he just starts leaping up towards the stick.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: He gets so pumped. I'm like, one day he's going
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: to get bored of this. Nope. He's nine years old.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: He's never gotten bored of it.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: When I come up the stairs, if she sees that
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I have my sneakers on, she starts stretching like an Olympian.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Let's go. Time to go. Yeah. Dogs are awesome. People
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: that don't have them, I feel bad for them. Like
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: you're missing a lot of love in your life, especially
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: like people that live alone. You know, it's like you
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: always have a friend. You always have someone. I talk
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: to my dog. Like I have conversations with him.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: And does Marshall look you in the eyes when you're talking?
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: It's a real friend.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, he's like the most loving creature I've ever encountered.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Do you tell the dog stuff you wouldn't tell your
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: family or your friends?
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: No.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like, hey, Nipsey, man, I probably shouldn't have
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: said that to him. She has emotional, like she knows
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: when I'm happy, sad, nervous, sick.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Mostly it's baby talk. Mostly it's like, oh, he's my buddy.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: He watches TV with me. He climbs up on the
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: couch and sits on my lap. He puts his head
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: on my lap.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: The best.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And when there's animals on TV, he parks his
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: head up. Yeah. Because it's a big TV. And so
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: he's like, what the fuck is that? Is that real?
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: He has to.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: When Nipsey first came out from the desert, she was,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: you know, like six, seven month old, you know, puppy,
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: but still a sizable dog. A German Shepherd at six
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: months is already like a dog. And the old dog,
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: which was old, you know, on her deathbed, but wise,
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: street wise. She was on the floor and the puppy
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: was up on my bed. It was her first night
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: in a home. And I put on TV. I put
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: on House of Cards. And it was this daunting kind
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: of scary music. And the dog's just watching. And it's
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: like a shadowy figure. It was Kevin Spacey coming down
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: the hall, his character coming down the hall. And as
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: this man was revealed full screen on a big screen,
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: Nipsey did a backflip, fell off the bed, and ran
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: and hid in the closet. And the old dog, Nana,
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: was like, Oh boy, she had to like pull herself
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: up at her bad legs and go in the closet
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: and tell her to come back out.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Now listen, it's TV. It's almost time for spring break.
• 17:02
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• 17:04
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• 17:07
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• 18:04
  Speaker 1: at drinkag1. com slash joerogan. House of Cards, what a fucking
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: show that was. Oh, yeah. Oh, what a fucking show.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: They never should have done that last season. Once Kevin
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Spacey got canceled, they should have just canceled it. It
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: was done. Or, you know, not. Right. Such a good
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: fucking show.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: That was a great show.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. I saw him. He was in Israel. doing
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: some weird thing where he was like doing like a
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: song and dance routine in a small club recently like
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: he's been kind of reduced to doing that for money.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Is that reduced or is that part of the comeback
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: you got to start i.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Don't know i mean it's something i mean i guess
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: he's just making money you know he's completely bankrupt he
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: lost everything it's crazy show business it's a Well, it's
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: not just show business, right? It's also, what did you do?
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: What did you get caught for? He was an old
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: school dick grabber. A lot of those old school guys.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: No one really likes that. Getting their dick grabbed like that.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Some gay guys do, I think. I think what he
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: did probably worked on some guys. You know what I'm saying? Right.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Gay guys have a whole different way of interacting with
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: each other that we don't have. But I think with Spacey,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: it was like some of those fellows were young, and
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: that's the problem.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Power.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: It's power. It's like in the gay community, there's a
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: lot of guys that think it's okay for young gay
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: guys who are underage to hook up with older gay guys.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: That's like Milo Yiannopoulos. Remember him? He actually talked about
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: that on my show. He was talking about when he
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: was 14. He hooked up with this older guy. And
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: he's like, trust me, I was the predator. He's like
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: saying that he was going after the guy. I was like,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: all right. But it's different. In their eyes... I mean,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: I'm just speaking for gay guys that I've talked to.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: It's different in their eyes than an adult male and
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: a young female. Right. But Kevin Spacey's a fucking unbelievable actor.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: That fucking House of Cards was so good. It was
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: so good. Such a good show. I'm glad it's still
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: out there. It was so good.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: It made me miss and re-watch West Wing. That's how
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: good it was.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: I never watched that. I think I maybe watched one
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: or two episodes.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: It's like an idealistic version of what politics could be.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: Right. Martin Sheen is like the president we wish we had.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: It was a long time ago. But he's also controversial.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: He's hiding a medical thing. It got way ahead of
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of the modern day stories.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Like Biden. Yeah. Yeah.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: And his wife's a doctor, so she's helping him.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Well, we always have these idealistic ideas of who we
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: want to be our leader. And the thing about the
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: Kevin Spacey character was like, that's probably more realistic. Like
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: that guy is more realistic.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: Well, as we get older, we understand you got to
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: be cutthroat to make it. There's got to be a
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: certain killer instinct in a president.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: You're also most likely deeply compromised by the time you
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: get into office. which is the only way you navigate
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: those worlds. Everybody's compromised. Everybody's gone to that eyes wide
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: shut party. Right. I couldn't get in.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Just for the record.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, me neither. I don't want to get in. I know.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: That's a good thing. A dog can kind of save
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: your career because you get invited to some wild sex party.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: You'll be like, my dog's been waiting for me for
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: five hours. Sorry, I can't go.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, meanwhile, it's better to just hang out with your dog.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: You'll have a better time and you won't feel gross
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: in the morning. I guess. But I think a lot
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: of those people are sociopaths. They probably don't even feel
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: gross ever.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: I was out all weekend for the Fanatics football stuff.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Travis Scott's DJing till 3 in the morning.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: What is the Fanatics football stuff?
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: They had a flag football tournament in L.A. It was
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: supposed to be in Riyadh, and they had to move
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: it to L.A. Tom Brady and the Fanatics.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: What's the Fanatics?
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: It's like a– I guess it's a branding company. They
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: do all the jerseys. They do all the– Michael Rubin
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: and Michael Ratner, two friends of mine, did this flag
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: football game. And I was just partying. I just took
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: the weekend off and I'm like seeing all the football
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: players and it was just so much fun. And then
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: just as the party's really getting hot, I'm like, I
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: miss my dog.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I'm going home. Yeah, there's always this thing in the
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: back of your head like I got to get home.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: He's been home alone for five hours. He's been home
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: alone for six hours. I'm thinking about him. He has
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: to pee. He's a good boy. He's not going to
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: pee in the house, but he's probably holding it in
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: and upset. Isn't it nuts? People think, especially comics, we
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: want to be up late, getting drunk, fucking off, being retarded,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: doing drugs. You just want to get home. You want
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: to get home, chill out, relax, watch TV.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: I feel like if I had a dog when I
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: was starting out in comedy, I would have been more disciplined.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: I would have been coming home instead of staying out
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: all night. I kind of regret that a little bit.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: You regret staying out all night?
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, you know how it is. You do
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: your set, you start hanging out in the club, in
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: the comedy club and drinking or eating or whatever. But
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: there's a certain, I don't know, you go home and
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: you're up earlier, you get more done the next day.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely. Well, it's just you feel better. It's hard
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: to leave when you're having fun. You know, it's also
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: you feel like you're a part of a, Different society.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Society of people who don't have a regular job. You
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: got freedom. You're your own boss.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: I grew up, I lost my parents as a teenager.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: So I live every day like I could die tomorrow.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: So I never want to leave. I have ultimate FOMO
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: all the time. I never want to miss an event,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: a party. I went to the Super Bowl. I went
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: to All-Star Weekend. I want to go to the Grammys.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I love life. I want to make the most out
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: of it all the time. It works against me sometimes,
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: That's interesting, right? That's the plus side of experiencing loss
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: when you're young. You really want, you really relish life.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: You want to make the most out of it. You
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: want to enjoy it while it's here. Yeah. Yeah.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: One of the things I say on my show is
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: I learned early on human beings were made to mourn
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: and move on. You can't mourn forever or a part
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: of you dies, and that's not fair. So it gave
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: me this sort of zest for living. You take that
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: loss as a young person, you're afraid at any second.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: It's hard to make long-term plans. Are your parents still alive? Yeah,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: it's an amazing, amazing blessing. And sometimes when you lose
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: people young, you live in the constant fear that it's
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: all going to fall apart.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've lost a lot of friends. Like, sometimes I
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: look at my contact list when I get a new phone,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: you know, and you're swapping over contacts, and I'm like, oh, fuck.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: You know, I've got, like, 20 dead people on my
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: contact list. Some of them I just keep in there,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: you know. I got old phones where, like, Bourdain was
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: texting me. I just kept the phone. I'm like, I'm
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: never throwing this phone away. You know, a bunch of friends.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: Are just gone. I get Bob Saget's texts all the time.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: I listen to Gilbert Gottfried's voicemails.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know what you mean, yeah.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: It just brings me right back to that.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Those two guys, those were two tough ones. Those were
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: two really tough ones.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: There's that famous picture of me, Norm, Gilbert, and Bob
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: that Adam Egatt took at Jones Restaurant in Hollywood. And
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I show that in my special, and I talk about
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: each one, do like a tribute to Norm and I
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: do a tribute to Gilbert, whose family is a big
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: part of my family now. His kids are great kids.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: His daughter goes to school here in Texas, in Austin.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: And there it is.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: There it is.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: And Bob, who just became a grandfather. So they left
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: quite a legacy, those guys. And I really loved them.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: And they would make me laugh. You know, I would
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: just set them up and they would go. And I
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: would laugh until.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: I was dying laughing. Fucking Norm. What a legend.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: The king.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Such a great guy, too.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: He was so funny, too. And his clips, I don't
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: know if it's my algorithm or what, but you would
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: think Norm is making comedy content every day if you
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: looked at my algorithm.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Well, mine, too. I think a lot of people. People
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: just share them because he had so many funny things
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: to say about everything. And such a unique perspective. Just
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: an unusual state of mind. Canadians.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: I have a theory that Canadians... I'm from New Jersey,
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: so I feel like New Jersey, I grew up as
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: an outsider to New York. We had a route for
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: New York sports teams. We had to listen to New
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: York radio stations as a kid, TV stations. And Canada
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: has that with America.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: So I think they always feel like comedians feel like
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: outsiders a little bit. I feel like Canadians kind of
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: have that.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Harland, he's Canadian.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, Canadian comedians, you could go all day.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Tom Green.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Jim Carrey.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: Jim Carrey.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: A lot of Canadians.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Caroline Ray. And a lot more. John Candy, right?
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah. John Candy was a Canadian. Yeah.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Martin Short.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Was he? Is he? He is.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: I think so.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: He's still with us.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Those SCTV people.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: That's right. Yeah.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: Martin Short is, he had a rough month. He lost
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: somebody very close to him, but he's still one of
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: the funniest people in the world.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, he was brilliant. All those fucking crazy characters.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. I was at a birthday party once.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: It was like Paul Rudd's 50th birthday party years ago.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: And I remember everybody was like, let's do karaoke. And
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: everybody wanted to start. Everybody was too shy to do
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: karaoke first. And Martin Short walked up to the mic,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: belted out a Sinatra song, dropped the mic, and walked
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: out to the valet and left. Just kicked it off
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: and went. Fly me to the moon. And he was gone.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: It's weird when you get older and you realize how
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: many guys have passed. Patrice comes up in my algorithm
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: all the time. And you just watch old clips. I
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: went on a binge a few months back of him
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: on Opie and Anthony. Yeah. Just fuck. Ruthless. He would
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: have been the number one podcast in the world if
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: he was alive today. Patrice? Yeah. If he had a podcast?
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: Because he probably would have. I mean, it's a perfect
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: normal transition from Opie and Anthony to podcasting. Right. He
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: would have probably had the best podcast in the world.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: Except the guests would never get to talk at all.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it wouldn't matter. He would be dressing them down.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Patrice's greatness at the Charlie Sheen roast I always talk
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: about is he went on last and he was like,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: He was, we booked him late. He never wanted to
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: do a roast. And he said, I don't know this one.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: I don't know that one. And finally I called him
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: one day. I go, we're roasting Charlie Sheen.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: He goes, oh.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: He goes, I don't know Charlie Sheen, but I think
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: I could do that. I go, you know him. You
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: don't know him, but you know. And he goes, all right,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I'm coming. He dresses total rock star, like a leather suit,
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: like this whole fantasy Patrice in his head. and then
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: the day of the show he's like complaining about his
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: material he's like I don't know all these writers they
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: don't know me this isn't me blah blah blah I
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: go Patrice fuck all that pay attention and roast the
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: roast just roast the roast make mental notes clock it
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: all let them see you taking it in and then
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: just go on and talk about what you just saw
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: and that's what he.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Did no it was brilliant did you see Charlie Sheen's
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: Netflix documentary I haven't it's fucking great man it's crazy
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: it's crazy Like, he talks about everything. He talks about
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: the first time he smoked crack. A girl was giving
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: him a blowjob when he smoked crack.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: How else are you supposed to do it?
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: He said it's the best experience he's ever had. He
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: says he's never topped it. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Makes you
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: want to try it. Makes you, like, think, maybe. He
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: was a fascinating guest, too, having him in here. It's like,
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: that guy's been through so much shit, and he's okay.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like, how is he alive?
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Some people are just different, right? Tiger Blood? I was
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: on tour with him that whole time. That's right.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: That's right. You were doing that thing with him. So
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: what happened was when he got kicked off of Two
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: and a Half Men and he went kind of kooky.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: he decided to do this whirlwind tour. And the first
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: one he did, he tried to go and just wing it.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Torpedo of truth.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: That's what he called it.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: The winging it one did not work. No. But then
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: when he started doing it with you and he did
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: it with Russell, Russell Peters did a bunch of them
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: with him. With comics, it actually worked because like he
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: would have someone to bounce stuff off of and they
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: knew how to be entertaining and keep the flow going. Right. Yeah.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: And then you got into those stories and it was amazing. Yeah.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: It totally turned around.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: The first one I did was in Atlantic City, and
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: he called me the night before. And I was in L.A.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: at a party, and everyone was like, yeah, yeah, go
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: do it, go do it. So I caught a, like,
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: 6 a.m.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: Flight. He called you the night before? What did he say?
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: He's like, my shows aren't going good. I didn't know him.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: He goes, you know, like, all these different people keep
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: telling me, Simon Rex, you know, other friends of his
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: kept saying, Jeff Ross could come out and roast you
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: and save this. So I just wrote jokes all night,
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: you know, left the party, wrote jokes, caught a 6 a.m. flu.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: I walk into his dressing room like an hour before.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: Chuck Zito is literally staring me down going, don't be
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: too mean to my guy. You know, like they're just
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: trying to scare me. And I'm like, I'm here to
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: like– I'm a comedian, you know. And Charlie was really cool.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: And I told his road manager. He goes, what do
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: you need? I go, I need– A podium to roll out.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Big arenas. I want to make it like a show.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: And I need a hazmat suit. Because he'd been bombing
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: for like a week. Every single night. I heard there's
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: a bomb scare. I roll out. It's Jersey, so it's
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: my crowd. And I just start roasting him. And it
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: went well. And I was like, if you're winning. Because
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: he's always like, winning, winning. I'm like, if you're winning,
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: something's wrong with the fucking scoreboard.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Old Jeff with hair, duh, winning. Look at that. Boy,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: he looks so skinny. That's a look of a guy
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: who does coke. Look how ripped he is. Jesus.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, man. He was up all night. He was like.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: So he was still partying hard back then.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: You know, it's hard to say.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Had to be.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: He didn't let me see that side of it.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I'm sure he was. There's no chance he was clean.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Warlock.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's right. He was a warlock. A warlock with
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: tiger blood. Right. Violent Torpedo of Truth tour kicks off
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: in Detroit. TV star is booed offstage.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So then after that, they kept calling and going,
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: can you do this date? Can you do that date?
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: It was like more money than I'd ever made for
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: a one-nighter. So I just started getting on the bus
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: and the plane with them.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: How many dates did you guys do?
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I wound up doing eight.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: And Russell, how many did he do? I don't know.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: So he just had different comics. Who else did it?
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: I don't remember anyone else but me. So that's news
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: to me that Russell did it.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Russell did a few. At least one I know of.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: There might have been some in Canada I didn't do.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Well, Russell's really good off the cuff. Russell's great work
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: in the crowd.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: I think Russell interviewed him. I think Russell, like you said.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: That's how he did it?
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's how he did it. Because now
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: it occurs to me that he had interviewers. on some
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: of them. And I, and he had a radio guy
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: and I think maybe Russell might've done a Canadian.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: That's a smart way to do it. Have someone who's
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: smart and quick just interview, because the stories are so bananas. Yeah.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: All you need is the stories. Just, and he was
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: so open about stuff, talking about how much crack he
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: would smoke and, you know, it was just so insane.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: And everybody was so happy that someone was, instead of
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: hiding from the fact that they fucked their life up,
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: They were like celebrating that they were off the rails.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: And everyone was like, tiger blood. I remember even Diego Sanchez,
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: who was fighting in the UFC, was saying he had
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: tiger blood. That's how popular it was getting.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he was a thing.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a thing. But it was a new thing, right?
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: It was a movie star who had gone off the
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: rails and was like celebrating it and being open and
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: honest in interviews about it. prostitutes, cocaine, chaos, everything, all
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: the above. It was a totally new experience for the
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: general public, because before, if someone had an addiction problem,
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: it was like, oh, so sad. He was doing coke,
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: and my life had fallen apart, and then I found Jesus.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: It was always one of those things.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: He wasn't on an apology tour. He went on a
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: fuck you tour.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, 100%. And no one had ever done that before.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: No one had ever done a fuck you tour before.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, it was a little ill-advised, the first ones,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: you know, when he went on by himself. Like, that
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: was a terrible idea. Right. You can't just wing it.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: And when you're on Coke, you think you could do anything,
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: Or he would take questions, but there's 15,000 people yelling
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: at him.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: Right. If you're going to take questions, it would have
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: to be a person who's a moderator. Right. Who has
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: a microphone and talks to another person and is there
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: so they can keep it from going off the rails
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: and a line of people. You can't just have people
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: yelling out things in the audience.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: One night somebody wanted his money back, and he brought
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: the guy up and gave him his money back. And then,
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: of course, like 400 people stood up like, I want
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: my money back.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: He would hear the audience too much.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, no experience with that kind of stuff. Right.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: If you think you could just do live audience and
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: deal with 15,000 people's different personalities, then you don't know
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: what that's like. Right. Good luck.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: We wound up doing eight shows, and I would always
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: roast him. So by the eighth show, I had 20
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: minutes of Charlie Sheen material. Every city, I'd add jokes.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: So that's when I was like, why don't we just
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: do this on TV? I mean, we have the roast,
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: and then we did the Comedy Central roast.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: Patrice and all that. And Mike Tyson was at that one.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: It's a really interesting career arc. Well, if you know
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: his story, he was on the set of Apocalypse Now
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: with his father when he was 10. Right. And then
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: 10 years later, He was doing, what was the fucking movie?
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: His fucking big war movie. Jesus Christ. Platoon. Platoon. He
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: was doing Platoon when he was 20. Yeah. Which is nuts.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Ten years later. Yeah. I mean, he's doing the next
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: iconic war movie. Right. And he's a 20-year-old kid, and
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: then all of a sudden he's a fucking superstar. Right.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: He was great in that movie.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: And he's just off the rails. Just like no restrictions.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: He's rich. He's young. He's handsome. He's handsome. He's just
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: going crazy, doing drugs. But he made it through it all.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: That's what's nuts.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: I got to check that doc out.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: It's great. He's a great interview, too. Like, having him
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: on the podcast was fucking great. He's a really nice guy.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: He's very cool and honest about it all. Oh, yeah.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: You know, and he's also like, hey, you know, I
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: can still act. Like, how about I've fucking paid my dues.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: I've been sober for seven years. Like, give me a shot. Yeah.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: He can still act.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: He's a good actor.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I hope someone does do something like that. Because I
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: feel like if one big movie came along, like maybe
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Tarantino could put him in because he's the master of
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: reviving careers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What he did with Travolta
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: and Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction, like Travolta was dead on
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: the operating table in his career before Pulp Fiction. Pulp
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Fiction came along and boom, he's back. Because they realized like,
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: oh shit, John Travolta can fucking act. And that role
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: was perfect for him. Vince, he played this crazy hit
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: man with Samuel Jackson.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: The best.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: Fucking, what a movie.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: I watch it all the time.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it completely revived his career. Yeah, he's the, like,
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Quentin Tarantino is like the master of seeing things that
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: other people don't see. You know, he's like, that guy's
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: still great. Yeah. And I think that's like the case
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: with Charlie. Like, someone's got to come along and see
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: and just go, I just need to get him a role.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: Where he just can really sink his teeth into it
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: and he'll fucking kill it. Especially now at this stage
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: of his life where he knows how important it is.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: He'll throw himself into it. Right. It'd be fucking amazing.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: Well, like some people don't act for a long time.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: And then look what Sean Penn just did. And he
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: came back after God knows how long and just did
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: this totally iconic, unrecognizable. strange character.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: I didn't see that movie. I've heard all these mixed reviews. Whatever.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: It's interesting to see Sean's take on this soldier.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: Look, Sean Penn's out of his fucking mind, but that's
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: the kind of guy that makes a great actor. He's
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: a great actor.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: Ditch the Oscars to go see.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, go to Ukraine.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: It's so cool.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: Go hang out. Go hang out with my boy Zelinsky
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: and do coke. Do that pure Russian coke.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: I like how you think that's what they were doing.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: I'm just guessing. I'm just taking a wild guess. But
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: that guy, I mean, how about him? Like, goes and
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: fucking meets the drug lord. What's his name? What's wrong
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: with my brain today, Jamie? What the fuck's his name?
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: The dude he met in Mexico. The guy who got arrested.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: El Chapo. El Chapo. Thank you. went down and met
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: El Chapo and that's how El Chapo wound up getting arrested. Right.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: He wanted to meet Sean Penn. Sean Penn's like, all right,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: I'll go meet. He wrote an article for like Rolling Stone.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: He like was a journalist. Right. I remember. I mean
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: like who, what fucking movie star goes down and meets
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: El Chapo? By the way, that shirt, Conor McGregor bought
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: a shirt that's like exactly like that shirt and recreated
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: that pose with, I forget who he shook hands with,
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: but it was like this funny inside joke that a
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: lot of people didn't catch. It's like, why is he
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: wearing that shirt? And people realize, oh, my God, he's
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: wearing the El Chapo shirt. Oh, my God. He bought
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: a similar shirt. He's like literally doing that.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: So silly. He dressed as gangster El Chapo. He's literally
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: doing the thing. But he did it on purpose. Nuts.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: I mean, it takes insane balls. To be a world
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: famous actor and decide I'm going to go meet a
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: drug lord in Mexico and write an article for Rolling Stone.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: He's an adventurer.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: I guess.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: Acting's a part of him, not all of him.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, he must be. I mean, he's in fucking Ukraine. Like,
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: what does he do?
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: I remember being at a party, Eddie Vedder's birthday party,
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: and Sean Penn walked in with Stormy Daniels. Like, he
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: has friends from the most diverse places.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: That's funny.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: Zelensky, Stormy.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Have you seen Kyle Dunnigan's face swap things with Trump
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: and Stormy Daniels?
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: So funny.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. They're so funny.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: So funny.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: Kyle Dunnigan. He's another guy that got revived by Kill
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: Tony or really got the world got to see him.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: We covered his face swap videos a bunch of times
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: on the podcast and blew them up. But to see
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: him as these characters, like when he plays RFK Jr.,
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: when he plays Elon– Like, that is what really kicked
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: off Kyle's career. You know?
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Dude, his RFK is so fun.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: His Elon's so good.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: That's when he first started doing the face swap. This
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: is the best. My text chain's always sharing his stuff.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: His Bill Maher. His Bill Maher's amazing. You know, I
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: try to play.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: Because his jokes are funny about it.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: I try to play the Bill Maher impression with Bill
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Maher when he's in here. He goes, if you play it,
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: I'll leave. Why does he care? I don't... Because he
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: doesn't hang out with comics enough. He's out there doing
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: his show, hanging out with political people, being all serious.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: It's like you kind of forget.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: He just wants to be a, what do you call it,
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: a contrarian. I was on his podcast and like he literally,
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: he just wanted to fight about anything. I go, the
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: Ramones are great. He's like, no, they're not. I'm like,
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: all right.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: Rock and roll high school is not great? Come on, son.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: The look, the crazy hair. All of it.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: The Ramones is one of the greatest.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: The Ramones ruled. They were ruled.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: Never had a song over two minutes and five seconds.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: How can you say they're not great?
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: It's nice to go see them in college, man.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: You don't have to like it. You got to admit,
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: there's a reason why people love them. Right. Yeah. You
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying? Yeah, man. People are so weird
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: when they want to say something sucks. Like I was
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: having an argument with someone. There's like Taylor Swift's all
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: dumb music. I go, no, it's not. It's not. She's
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: got some great songs. No Body, No Crime, a great
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: fucking song. She's got great songs.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: By the way, I respect anybody who writes their own
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: music and produces their own music.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Also, it's like, do you think you're smarter than everybody
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: who loves her? Like, she's literally got more fans than
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: anybody alive, and you think they're all wrong? That's kind
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: of crazy. Like, you don't have to like it. You
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: don't have to like it. But there's, like, people have
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: closed minds.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: I met her at an Oscars party last weekend, and
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: she introduced herself.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: I was talking to Travis. Is she cool?
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: I was talking to Travis for a few minutes, and
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: she said, hi, I'm Taylor. I was a little starstruck because,
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know, musicians are the last thing for me.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: I really respect. And she was super cool, man. She
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: was really cool, actually. And I told her that I
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: went to her era show.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: Did you really?
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: She said she watches the roasts.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's funny.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: It was pretty cool, actually.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: I wonder when they make love if they wear helmets.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: Those two. Why do you think they wear helmets?
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: Just saying. It's got to be wild.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: You think it is?
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: Travis and Taylor.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's all sweet and passionate. Maybe.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: I hope so.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: That's what I think.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: You have your fantasies. I have mine.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: Shoulder pads, cleats. Yeah. Going for it on AstroTurf.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: He's a nice guy.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Is he?
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: Has he been in here?
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: No, never met him.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: He'd be a good.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: Good dude? Yeah. It's interesting when people are public, like
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: a public relationship like that, two super famous people. It's like,
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: that's a lot of pressure. And then you're putting it
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: all out there in the world and like everybody's judging you.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: It's hard enough to keep a relationship together. But keep
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: a relationship together when you have to field everyone's opinions
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: of you. Especially like Taylor Swift because how many fucking
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: songs does she have about ex-boyfriends? Right. It's like, jeez.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: If you break up with her, the fucking diss track
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: of the universe is coming your way.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right. Kendrick Drake. Fuck that. Just don't break up
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: with Taylor.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: Exactly. Yeah. But it's just like. You're doing it in
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: front of the world, and you're inviting all of the
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: shittiest people in the world to have their opinions about you.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: It's like, blech. It's a lot of pressure.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: Look at freaking Timberlake this weekend. That really pissed me off.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: They released a two- or three-year-old video of him getting
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: a DUI.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, I did see that.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: Why does that need to be out there? How is that.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: A legal thing to take a video of someone being arrested?
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: Why is that? Because he's a public figure? Why is that?
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: Why isn't that private? I don't understand. And there was
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: nothing outrageous about it.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: They're just hassling this guy and bringing up old news.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: It really bugged me.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I mean, there was nothing outrageous about it. I mean,
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: he was very calm and relaxed. And, you know, they
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: arrested him for DUI. You know, they asked him a
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: few questions. There was nothing about it that was, you know, like, oh,
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: look at Justin Timberlake. He's off the rails. He's acting crazy.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: It was like he had a few drinks, probably shit
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: in a drove. Drove, got caught. That's it. Right.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: It happens to a lot of people.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: And whatever, just because he's famous or whatever.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: He wasn't acting like an asshole. He didn't do anything terrible. And,
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: you know, and everybody wants like, oh, look at him.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: He got caught. Right. You have so much money and
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: you still got caught. Right. You know, obviously get a driver, dude.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: You know, you got to get drunk. Right. It's not
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: that hard.
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: He was tooling around the Hamptons. They thought he was fine.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's probably it, right? That's where all the rich
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: people drink and drive. Yeah.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: I don't get having to torture somebody by releasing the video.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, all he has to do is just
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: not be online for a few days and it'll go away.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: But it's like, why is it okay to release that?
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: Why is that a public record thing? Unless there's like some,
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: even if there's a case, that should be something that
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: gets released in court.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: No, they release it as a public information.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: What? Right. Why?
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: Why? Because he sings?
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: Because we live in a cruel fucking world. That's why.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. We live in a place where people enjoy cruelty. Well,
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: it's like you look at him, you know, he's like
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: super famous, married to, what's her name? Who's he married to?
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: Jessica Biel. Beautiful woman. Yeah. Right? He's got this perfect life.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: He's rich. He's famous. He can dance. He can sing.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: He's tall. He's handsome. He's a star when he was young.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: Fuck that guy. You know, that's how everybody is. Like, oh, look,
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: he was drunk. Yeah, yeah. Bitch, you've been drunk before, too.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up. Right. And if you haven't, fuck you. Yeah.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: If you've never been drunk, fuck you. Unless, like, your
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: dad was an alcoholic and, you know, understanding circumstances. But
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: it's like, why is that something that people are into?
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: I saw it. It came across my news feed, and
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: I looked at it for a few seconds. I was like,
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: there's something outrageous about this. Did you see Alan Richman, though? No.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: The guy who plays Reacher? He beat the fuck out
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: of some guy in front of some kids today? Yeah.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: Or yesterday? It was crazy. That guy's a giant dude.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: You know that show Reacher?
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I heard of it.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: He's fucking huge and jacked, and he was riding dirt bikes,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: and he got in some altercation with his neighbor, and
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: someone filmed it. And, you know, he's this hulking guy,
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: and I don't know what the circumstances were. Maybe the
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: guy deserved it. Maybe the guy was a piece of shit.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: Maybe the guy came after him first. But all you
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: see in the video is him beating this guy up, and,
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: you know, he's fucking this guy. Tank of a man.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: He's huge. He's like 250 pounds. And he's beating some
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: guy's ass, and then he gets back on his motorcycle,
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: and he's doing it in front of kids, too, which
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: is kind of crazy. Violence. Well, it's also, it's like,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: why you, I don't know what happened, so I don't
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: really want to comment on the extenuating circumstances. According to TMZ.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: Right Oh the guy pushed him off the bike, okay Well,
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: then that guy's just trying to get it. You want
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: to see the video? Let's watch the video. So watch
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: the video like So this is after here to beat
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: the guy's ass I'm not going to show it. So
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: he's punching the dude. The other guy's a big guy, too.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: He might have just had a dicky neighbor. Boy, neighbors and, like,
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: especially if you've got a homeowner's association, they're some fucking shitheads.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: So this guy, so if the guy pushed him off
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: the bike, I kind of understand. The guy pushed him
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: off the bike. He's lucky. That's all he did to him.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: This could be eight-year-olds.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, those little kids.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: You can replace this with tricycles.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: But those little kids that are there, too, and he's
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: yelling at them and pointing at them. But if you
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: really did push him off the bike, that guy's a
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: piece of shit. And he's lucky. And look, he's an idiot.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: Because even after he beat his ass, he's still getting
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: in his face. And he's still talking shit. Okay. Well,
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: that's a different story. Well, that's good. That's good to know. Yeah,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: fuck that guy. Yeah. Don't push someone off a bike.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: And it's like, because the dirt bikes were loud and
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: they were in the neighborhood. Turn your TV up. Shut
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: the fuck up. People are just so into everybody's business.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: I've watched so many videos of homeowners associations yelling at
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: people for doing whatever. Parking an old car in your driveway.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: People always love to tell people what they can and
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: can't do. I've had homeowners associations before. I don't know
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: if you've ever dealt with that. It is a fucking nightmare.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: You have to sit down and talk to these dorks
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: who tell you what you should and shouldn't do with
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: your fence. Yeah.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: How high are your hedges?
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: Dude, I had a situation once where there was all
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: these wrought iron fences in my neighborhood. And I repaired
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: my fence and I replaced it with a different wrought
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: iron fence. And they said, you can't have wrought iron fences.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: We have a new rule. It has to be a
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: questering fence. I said, but there's no consistency. I said,
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: the entire neighborhood has wrought iron fences. They said, it
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter. I said, well, let's go to court. I go,
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck. I go, I'll sue you.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: I go, I have money. I go, let's go to court.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: I go, I'm not taking my fucking fence down. And
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: they're like, you're going to take your fence down. I go,
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: you're not going to tell me anything. You're not going
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: to tell me what to do. Just because I go,
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: it looks great. It's not like it's a blight on
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: the neighborhood. The house is beautiful. Shut the fuck up.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: And eventually I won.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: Did you have to sue?
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Well, I threatened to sue and they backed off because
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: they were afraid of suing. They were afraid of lawsuits
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: because then they would have to use the homeowners association
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: funds to do this. And it didn't make any sense.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: I talked to a lawyer about it. I said, does
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: this make any sense? He goes, no, there's a precedent
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: in the neighborhood. Like every third house had wrought iron fencing.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't like it wasn't good looking. Like it
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: was beautiful. It was new. It was clean. I had
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: a reputable company build it. There's nothing wrong with it.
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: And I was replacing wrought iron fence with more wrought
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: iron fence. It was just better. It was like the
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: fence was broken. It looked shitty. It was like, you know,
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: they get rusty where they connect and I had to
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: get it replaced.
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: So what on earth was their problem?
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Just cunts, cunts. This is how cunty they are. I
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: had a neighbor who lived across the street. He told
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: me that I had to trim my trees and thin
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: them out so that he could see the view in
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: the distance. And I said, what are you talking about?
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: And he said, we have a regulation that says you
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: can't obstruct the view. I go, these trees have been
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: here for 50 years. And then I talked to the
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: guy who sold me the house. He's like, that asshole
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: was trying to do that with me too. Just tell
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: him to fuck himself. He's just a weird guy. He
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: built an observation deck at the top of his hill
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: in his backyard so he could see like the lights
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: of the city in the distance. And he wanted you
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: to cut your trees down so you're obstructing the view.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: I go, your house is obstructing my view of this hill.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: I like to look at hills. Is that what we're
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: going to do? Take your house down. You take your
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: house down. I'll trim these trees. Fuck you, man.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: Tell him to lift his house up.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: He's like, oh, so it's going to be like that.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: I go, going to be like what? You want me
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: to cut trees down so you can see? You don't
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: have a view, man. You're not on the edge of
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: the hill. You're back set. This is what the view
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: looks like from where you are. This house has been
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: here before your house was there. Go eat shit.
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: You could have asked nice and maybe you would have
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: done something.
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't have done a fucking thing. It didn't make
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: any sense. It's just people want to tell people what
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: to do. Like I was reading this article where this
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: homeowners association hired a tow company to go around the
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: neighborhood and tow all the cars that had expired tags.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine? Like your tag's expired. Like, ah, fuck,
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: I'll get to it. I'm busy. I'll get to it
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: next week. You know, you just run it around. And
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: then all of a sudden they tow your car. Like,
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: fuck you, man. Like, fuck you. It's just people love
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: to tell other people what to do. And homeowners associations,
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: when they get power, they become like the little hall
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: monitors of the neighborhood. You know, your grass is unruly.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: It's supposed to be two inches. It's four. Like, ugh.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: Just people. People love to do that. They love to
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: tell people what to do and what not to do.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: I have one neighbor who kind of runs the whole block.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: And she puts everyone on an email chain and she's pretty,
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: she leads with love, but she looks out for everybody.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: Well, as long as I'm looking out, it's not bad.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: It's just like nonsense. Like the guy wanted me to
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: trim the trees. He wanted me to thin out my tree.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: You want me to chop the trees down? He goes, no,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: I just want you to thin them out. You can
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: thin them out. I go, what? What are you talking about?
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: Chop all the leaves off so that you could see
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: lights in the distance. It was like the dumbest conversation.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: And he realized while we're in the middle of the
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: conversation how dumb this is. Right. And then we never
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: talked again. And I would see him occasionally.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: Isn't there a safety issue with trimming your trees, like
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: thinning them out? Fire?
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, where we were, there was, the real
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: issue is brush. The real issue is the ground. You know,
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: dried brush on the ground. We were evacuated from where
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: I live three times from fires.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: Down here?
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: No, this is in California. Yeah, yeah. And when I
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: lived in California, the last big fire in 2018, we
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: lost three houses in front of our house. And my
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: neighbor's house caught on fire. But I had one, my
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: crazy friend Bud would not leave the neighborhood. They evacuated
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: the whole neighborhood. He wouldn't leave. He's like, I'm staying.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: I'm staying. I'm going to save my house. I'm going
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: to save other people's houses. And he fucking did. He
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: saved his house. He saved my neighbor's house. He checked
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: my neighbor's house. My roof, the roof is on fire.
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: He got water on it. He called the fire department.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: There was fire departments that were like trying to put
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: out fires in the neighborhood the moment they started. And
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: they hosed his roof down because embers will fly and
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: they land.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: I had it in L.A. and had to evacuate for
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: one day.
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: It's spooky, man. The fires in California are no joke, man.
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: It's really weird to see when it happens because you
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: realize like how nature is completely in control when that happens.
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: Just this storm of flames that comes over the hills.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: It's wild. It's wild and it cannot be controlled. And
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: once it starts, it's just a matter of trying to
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: contain it. And a certain amount of houses are just
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: going to go no matter what, depending on which way
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: the wind blows. But that wasn't what the problem was.
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: This guy was just a cunt. It's a homeowners association thing.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: It's just like people that think they– There was a,
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: I'm still a part of this email group that, you know,
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: I'm still on the email of the Homeowner Association. One
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: of the guys poisoned one of the people in the
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: Homeowner Association's dogs. Yeah. Like they got in some sort
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: of a dispute about something. This guy poisoned his fucking dogs.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: Evil cocksucker. Wow. But it's like that kind of thing.
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: It's these people that just want to control their neighbors, man.
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: It's so weird. Like one of my neighbors.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: What's the punishment for that?
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: He should be shot. You fucking piece of shit. That's
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: like killing a family member.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: You should have to eat whatever he gave those dogs.
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: You should go to jail for sure. I don't know
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: what happened. I don't know if they caught the guy.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: I don't think they know exactly who did it. They
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: had no video evidence. The person who lived there apparently
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: didn't have good security cameras. But it's so weird. Like
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: they would get mad at someone for the way they
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: designed their house. And I was like, what do you
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: give a fuck? And he's like, this is like, one
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: of my neighbors built a house and my other neighbor,
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: what do you think about his house? I go, the house, like,
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: I don't care. And he's like, I think it's ugly.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: And this, this house is going to lower our property values.
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: I go, what, what are you fucking talking about? Your
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: house looks great. You have a beautiful house. You think
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: people are going to pay less for your house? Cause
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: this house is boring. Like this doesn't make any sense,
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: but it's just people. They nitpick. And when they have control,
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: when people have control over other people's situation, Like they
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: don't have control over their own life and their life
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: is just a sloppy mess. They always like to look
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: at other people's lives and I don't like where he
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: puts his dumpsters.
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: It's a hater.
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: We all confront that all the time.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: It's not just a hater. It's a hater with power
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: because of homeowners associations. And from that moment on, I
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: decided I will never buy a home with a homeowners association. Never.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: No fucking chance. I don't care how cool they are
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: because someone not cool can move in and then it
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: becomes a nightmare. I will never have conversations with those
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: kind of people where they tell you what you could
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: do with your lawn. Like, fuck you.
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: Fuck you. When I was a young comic, I lived
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: with my grandfather in the house that I grew up in,
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: and we would never. ever ever mow the lawn we
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: just didn't have any money we didn't care and everyone
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: in our neighborhood just hated us they would heckle us
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: and yell at us so i guess i've been the
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: eyesore and now i'm on the other side of.
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: It my grandfather lived in the same house that he
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: bought in the 1940s and when he bought it in
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: the 1940s this was in uh It was an all
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: Italian neighborhood in Newark. And then, um, they, they started doing,
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: you were born in.
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: Newark, Newark, New Jersey.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: No shit. Let's go.
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: That's where I learned karate. Is that really from detectives
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: in Newark?
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: Really? Oh yeah. Yeah. People don't know you're a black
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: belt in Taekwondo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's wild. Do
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: you still do it at all?
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: I mean, I work out like, you know, not with people,
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: but I, I know my moves and I, I do
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: a few in the new Netflix special. I throw some
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: kicks for fun and tell the story about getting a
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: black belt starting at six, getting bullied, my mom dragging
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: me to the house of empty hands. That was what
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: it was called. Ronnie Roselli, Newark detective, teaching me karate,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: almost like a father figure.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's awesome.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: Gave me confidence, gave me self-respect, respect for others, taught
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: me that hard work pays off. You know, when you
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: get a black belt at 10 and a half, you go, wow,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: maybe I could be something in my life. If I
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: work as hard as I did at that, maybe I
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: could be good at something else too.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. I mean, it teaches you a lot about, like,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: the belt system is really good because you get rewarded
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: for your work and then you see, like, a tangible result.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: Instead of just like, ooh, I'm getting better, it's like, ooh,
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: there's like a ceremony. Like I've reached a new level.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: Like now, you know, now I have to be.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: Some of my most cherished memories are those ceremonies of
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: my dad and mom watching me get my brown belt,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: blue belt, brown belt, and black belt, and competing in
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: tournaments all over the East Coast.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: Isn't that awesome?
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: What was his name?
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: Gary?
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: There's this karate guy. Gary Alexander. He threw East Coast tournaments,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: and I used to compete. I still have a room,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: half a dozen karate trophies in my house.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: It's the best time of my life.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: I lost most of my stuff, but I do have
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: a bunch of medals that I still have that are
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: in my drawer by my bed. A bunch of medals
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: from the day. But it seems weird when I pick
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: them up. They don't even seem real.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: It's from another life.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's another life. Like, I don't even. Until I, like,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: hit a bag or something like that, I almost forget
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: that I could do it. You know? And then I
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: do it. I'm like, ooh. Right. Still got it. I like.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: I like.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: My kicks, I can front snap kick. I can't side kick.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: I can barely roundhouse at this point. But it's like.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: Why not?
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: I got a belly. There's no real good reason other
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: than I'm just, you know.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: You ever thought about like starting to take classes again?
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: If I do think about it, I probably could.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: You know, you're good at kicking, of pushing me to
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: do stuff like that.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: It'd be good for your health. Just take a class
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: a couple times a week.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: What would I take? If I was a black belt
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: in taekwondo.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: Take taekwondo. Just start taking that again. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: you're doing it for exercise. It's not like you're going
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: to fight in the UFC. No. Just go and start,
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: you know. You'd probably feel it a little bit, and
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: then you remember what you used to be able to do,
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: and so your muscle memory would kick in. Yeah. You'd
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: start probably watching your diet a little bit better. Right, right, right.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: Drinking more water. Yeah. Taking vitamins. Yeah. Next thing you know,
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: four or five months have gone by, and now your
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: waist is thinner. Your kicks are snappier. You're going to
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: three classes a week instead of two. You feel better.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: People go, Jeff, look at you. You're looking great. Like, yeah,
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: I started taking Taekwondo again.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not a bad idea. I guess I wouldn't
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: wear my black belt. I would feel like I was
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: disrespecting the art. So I'd have to re-earn that.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: Well, you could always take a totally new style and
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: start out as a white belt. You know, you take, like, Kyokushin,
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: the shirt I'm wearing right now, George St. Pierre. Take
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: something else. Just take something near you, like Krav Maga. Like,
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: take anything.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: My manager, Amy, told me she was your publicist when
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: you were on the cover of Black Belt magazine.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Amy's V.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, way back in the dizzay.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: I love that. That's so funny.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I never stopped working out. I just don't.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: It's too much of a part of my brain. Like
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: my mind doesn't operate well if I have days. Even
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: if I just take a couple days off, I don't
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: feel right. I feel squirrely. I feel like I'm not balanced,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I just like to stand in front of a
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: mirror and just throw blocks and just make sure that
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: I like the way that it feels and just do it.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: It's meditative. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I used to
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: love doing, especially when I lived in California? I'd take
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: a couple bong hits and just hit the bag. And
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: just like feel it. Just start feeling it. Just whomp.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: I remember my cottage.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: Do you? Do you remember all those?
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: I remember at least the first two, I think.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: God, I used to hate those things. I didn't think.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: I was young and immature. And I didn't understand the
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: value of forms. I used to think that this is pointless.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: This isn't fighting. I only wanted to practice fighting technique.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: But now I understand. It teaches you body control. Like
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: you throw a sidekick and you snap it up in
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: the air and you hold it and you turn and
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: block and all that stuff. Like it teaches you– it's
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: almost like a form of yoga. And it teaches you
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: to control your body. I do a lot of kicks
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: in the air now and I do them slowly. And
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: it's really good for your control and your balance. And
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: I didn't think that when I was younger. I thought
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: that was like a waste of time. I thought like
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: really what's important is like hitting things really hard and
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: being fast. And now I realize like, no, no, no, no.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: There's like a lot of value even to help your
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: techniques and to be able to hit things hard. Like
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: do it slowly and just have full control of your
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: balance and your movement. So I like to do that.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: I like to do like slow kicks.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 2: That's why I like yoga.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: Yoga is amazing. Yeah.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's akin to martial arts.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: It makes me high. Yoga is like the best high.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: You take your shoes off.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: Your phone is gone.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: You're so relaxed when it's over.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: It's just about your body and control.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: You're so calm. Yeah. Yeah. Yoga is so good for
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: your brain.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: Usually on Mondays when I'm here, I would go with
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: Tony to his high yoga.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, Tony loves it. Yeah. He raves about his yoga.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: He told me he's been off.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: It a little bit. He has. Yeah. Well, you know.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: The thing about Tony is he's so focused on Kill
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: Tony right now because the momentum is so extraordinary. And
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: he realizes that. Tony's really aware that he's in a
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: very rare moment in his life where things are going
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: so well. So he's got his foot on the gas.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, of course.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: And he's got his new special that he filmed that
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: he's editing right now, Get Ready to Release.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: I'm so proud of him, man. And he's earned it.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: I always told him he would take a different path
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: than a normal entertainer. He always had this kind of
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: odd trajectory.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: Well, he's an odd guy. Tony, you'd swear he's gay,
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: and he's not. But he's an awesome person. People who
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: don't know Tony, they see the outside of him. Of course.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: As a friend, he's a great friend. Of course. He's
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: a great guy. I love that guy to death.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: We're always checking on each other.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: He's the best.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: He was so happy. He was the first one to
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: text me when I knew I was coming down here.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: When I was workshopping my show, he came and saw
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: it in Austin. came to the opening night on Broadway
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 2: in New York. He's like there for his friends.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: He's the best. 100%. Well, that's the beautiful thing about
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: Kill Tony is it's all about supporting people and giving
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: people careers. Yeah. I mean, he's given so many people
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: careers and pumped so many people up. I mean, he's really...
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: That thing, that Kill Tony thing is also... It is,
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: in my opinion... Well, first of all, for our club,
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: it's the cornerstone of the club. It's one of the
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: most important things about the mothership because... Having Kill Tony
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: at the Mothership every Monday night lets all these people
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: that are upcoming comedians see what it's like to have
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: one minute that you've polished and worked on really well
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: and it kills. And then you pop and then all
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: of a sudden, you know, it's on YouTube. It's got
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: 11 million views. And then, you know, maybe it's on
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: Netflix and it's got millions and millions of people watching
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: all around the world. And then all of a sudden
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: people come to see you in the clubs. And you're
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: selling out weekends. And you're writing. And then you get
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: a golden ticket. You've got to do a new minute
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: every week. You're a regular. A new minute.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 2: My show comes on tonight. It's 90 minutes. It might
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: be the longest stand-up special in Netflix history.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: Well, your show is like a one-man show.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: 90 minutes.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: It's a little different, right? I haven't seen it, but
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: I've heard great things. Yeah.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: You're going to love it.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I will.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: I think you're going to like it because it's about us.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: It's about comedy and kids. the community of of what
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: we do it's.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: A embattled community and it has its like detractors and
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: it has a bunch of haters and a bunch of
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: shitheads in it but for the most part like as
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: far as creative communities it's one of the most supportive
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: communities ever i mean it's an amazing the community of
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: comics like real comics that are all that when we
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: meet up in clubs it's always People think we're all angry, bitter.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: No, it's the opposite.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: The tears of a clown. There's a few people like that,
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: and they always make me sad. But the reality is
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: most of us are super happy to see each other.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: It's always hugs and laughing and watching each other's sets
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: and giving each other tags and telling each other, like, oh,
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: that fucking new bit is amazing. It's like, it's so supportive.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: I was at your club last night, and it was like, oh,
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: the comics come in to say hi. I brought some
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: extra chicken wings. Jamar was there. It was just fun.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: Moses was doing Roast Battle. I sat in on that.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: Then I went outside, said hi to some people, and
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: went upstairs and did a spot.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: It's like, it's fun.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: I don't have a wife and kids to go home to.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: This is what I do. This is the people that
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: I love. The comedians are my kids, my cousins, my uncles,
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: my aunts, you know?
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: Well, I do have a wife and kids, but it's
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: still my other family. It's like the family of comedians,
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: it's like a band of brothers and sisters. It's like
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: a weird kind of friendship that, you know, it's like
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: only they know what you do. Only they understand that
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: it's like 10 years before you're even any good. 10 years.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: If you're out there and you're headlining a club and
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: you're on the road, you fucking put in that work.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: There's no shortcuts. It's impossible to have a shortcut. You
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: just got to grind.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: I learned over time, I don't want a shortcut. I
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: like the process. That's what I live for. We have
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: a roast coming up May 10th. It's not about May 10th.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: It's about I can't wait to hang in the writer's
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: room again. I can't wait to figure out who's coming.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to figure out the seating. Who are
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: we going to make fun of? Who's going to be
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: in the front? What am I going to wear? It
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: is the grind that's exciting.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no finish line. Right. The finish line doesn't exist.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: You'll have little finish lines like you do a special,
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: like your special that's coming out. That's a finish line.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: but it's only a stop. You're stopping to get water.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: But where is the finish line, Joe? Like, okay, so
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: I did the Broadway show. Then I shot it. Then
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: I edited it. But now I'm here still talking about it.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: And then in a month from now, two months from now,
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: someone will stop me at the airport and go, hey,
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 2: my kid was sick. I was in the hospital. I
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 2: watched your thing, and it made me laugh for five minutes.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: So all of it is, there's no finish line.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: No, there's no finish line.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: If you're sitting around going, I hope I win the Oscar.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: Tom Cruise is jealous of George Clooney, and George Clooney
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: is jealous of Brad Pitt. There's no finish line.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: There's no finish line.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: I have a big neon, like you have the neon.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 2: I have a big neon in my house that just says,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: enjoy the process.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: That's where I'm at.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Trust it. Trust the process and enjoy it. And
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: that's the weird thing about when you release a special
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: and then you have nothing. And then, you know, you
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: have to like scour your brain for what you want
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: to talk about. I took like a whole month off
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: a stand up after my last special. I didn't do
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: any stand up, maybe more than a month. And I
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: just thought I said, let me just think just like
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: no pressure. Let me just think like what what is
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: interesting to me? What do I want to talk about
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: instead of just rushing to try to put together a
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: new hour?
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: Let me just think for a while. You know, and
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: I'd come to the club every now and then and
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: watch guys do sets. But I didn't do any sets
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: for a while.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: I'm in that zone right now.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: It's nice.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: Scary.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: When I first finished the special, it was years of
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: material building with a through line and a story. And
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 2: then when it was over, I was a little bit lost. Like,
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: I'd go to the comedy cellar. I was still in
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: New York. I couldn't let go of some of the.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I need to stop doing this material.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: And then I felt like I had no purpose. Like
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to talk about anything. And I said
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: it to my buddy Kai and he goes, dude, relax.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: You're between albums. Like he put it in musical sense
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: for me. He's like, you're like a musician between albums,
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 2: absorb some new things, see some movies, go on a trip,
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: have some new life experiences. And then I was like, yeah,
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: that's probably a break after doing the same thing, the
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: same kind of hunk for years. Your body, your brain,
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: like think about something else. Absorb new things. Download new influences.
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 2: And that's kind of where I'm at. And then, of course,
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 2: Kevin was like, I'll get roasted. And I was like,
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: all right, I can put stand-up away for another two
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: months and just write that.
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: So I go back into roast mode, which gives me–
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like a dog who needs a job. Yeah.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of the same thing as
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: your dog. It really is. It's like you need a task.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: If you're just doing nothing, like the idea of like, oh,
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: one day I'm going to retire and just relax. Like, bitch,
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: you'll go crazy.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 2: Did you see we're roasting Kevin Hart?
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: That's what I heard. Are you supposed to say that, though? Yeah.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: Are you supposed to talk about it? I am. Okay.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: You're allowed to?
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: My show.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, because I was told not to tell people about it.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: We're doing it. May 10th, baby. Mother's Day, live on Netflix.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: So you're officially announcing it. Yeah. Okay, I can talk
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: about it now.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: At the forum.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: Because I was told about it, but I was told
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: I was not supposed to tell anybody about it.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know who told you that.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: Some people. No, dude. They said keep it under wraps.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: You like it? Oh, it's already a thing. Yeah, they
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: announced it this weekend, I think. Oh, hosted by Shane Gillis.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: Let's fucking go. Nice. That's awesome. That's awesome. Sweet, right?
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: Fuck yeah.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: Kevin is so pumped up.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. That's going to be fun.
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 2: Dude, he's out, you know, he's.
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: These Netflix fucking, the Tom Brady one was insane. That
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: was so good. That was so good. That kind of
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: like juiced comedy back up again because it was so wild.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: It was like the jokes were so wild. It was
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: so raw. Yeah. And we had gone through this like
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: weird period of like people getting canceled for jokes. You know,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: it's like all of a sudden like, no, that's gone. No, no, no.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: I said to him. I've been big game hunting Tom
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: Brady for years. It took a couple years. He retired, unretired,
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: but I kept him on the line. And finally, we
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: were shooting promos, and I was like, why are you
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: doing this? Because I could tell it was starting to
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: heat up, and some heavy hitters were signing on. I go,
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 2: why are you doing this? It wasn't for the money.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: And he goes, I want to bring comedy back. I'm
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: sick of the woke bullshit and cancel. I want to
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: make comedy fun again. He understood that. And I caught
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: him on a Super Bowl Sunday. He was playing in
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 2: the Super Bowl. And I saw him looking at some
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: jokes on Instagram that I posted. And I'm like, this
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 2: is where he goes to relax. He goes to the roast.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 2: And I'd heard that. So as I was like, he
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: won the game. And I was like, I think it's time.
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: And then we reeled him in and he did it.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 2: And I will admit that roast was harsher than, I expect,
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 2: even I expected vicious. I mean, it was, it was
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: a bloodbath and I saw Tom the other day and
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 2: I said, it's time to take your win. You know,
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 2: he was like, it was so harsh. It was tough
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: on my family. I go, I get all that, but
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: you wanted to do it to bring comedy back. You
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 2: did that 1.6 billion viewing minutes, Emmy nominated against the
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 2: Oscars and the grant, like The Super Bowl half.
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: It was the most watched thing in the history of Netflix. Right.
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: You know how nuts that is? Think about how many
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: things are on Netflix. That roast was the most watched
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: thing in the history of Netflix. And it was because
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: it was so funny. It wasn't just because it was
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: Tom Brady, which of course made a lot. But it
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: wasn't just because all these great comics were on it,
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: which of course meant a lot.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 1: It was so good. It was so good that people
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: were telling people about it. Yeah.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 2: And it's like a great Super Bowl. It's going to
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 2: be around forever.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 2: Netflix leaves it up.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: Like the Charlie Sheen roast. We were talking about Patrice. Yeah.
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: They're always going to be there. It's going to be
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: there forever.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 2: I do think, all respect to Tom, I do think
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: this one with Kevin and Shane Gillis is going to
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: top it.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 2: I think it's not quite a sequel, but it's its
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 2: own thing. Well- Going to be the greatest roast of
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 2: all time.
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: Netflix is the place for roast now because as great
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: as Comedy Central was, you had restrictions on language and content. Right.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: And it was editing. Yes. Editing. And commercials. Right. Yeah. Right.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: This is buck wild.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 2: Buck wild.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Netflix is fucking amazing. I mean, what an insane
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: platform that you have. You could never get bored. If
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: you're bored in this life, like you're bored, you don't
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: have anything to watch. Like, are you crazy? Yeah. There's
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: so much shit to watch.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 2: Only boring people are bored, right?
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Or people are uninformed. But I mean, even in
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: this day and age, you could just, you know, do
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: an internet search. Like, what's the best roasts on Netflix? Right.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: What are the best dramas on Netflix? What are the
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: best shows on Netflix? Right. There's always something. That's exciting, though.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 2: It's going to be a big one.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Mother's Day.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 2: Motherfucker's Day.
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: Kevin Hart, there's a guy, like, I don't understand how
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: he has the time to do all the things he does.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: I do not understand it. I'm a pretty busy person
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: and I look at people like him and I feel lazy.
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: I'm like, how are you doing this? Right. How do
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: you have time to sleep? Right.
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 2: And I saw him out with his wife having drinks
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 2: two nights last weekend.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: He must sleep like four hours a night.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know how he does it. Some people just
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 2: built different.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, well, it's growing up poor and realizing
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: that like once this is happening for you, like keep
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: your foot on the gas. And that guy keeps his
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: foot on the gas better than anybody. Yeah. And he's
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 1: ambitious as fuck. He's always got like some tequila brand
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: and releasing this. He had a vegan restaurant chain for
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: a while. I would have talked him out of that.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: What the fuck are you doing with that?
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, he likes to branch out and be
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 2: a businessman.
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I just don't understand the time. And then in
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: the meantime, he's doing arenas at the same time.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: And killing.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't get it.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 2: The roast for him is back to itself.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: Roots.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 2: That's what I love about it. It's like the Philly thing,
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 2: talking shit. Shane's from Philly, so there'll be a big
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 2: Philly angle. And we got some of his oldest buddies
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 2: coming on. It's going to be pretty massive, I think.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: That's nice. Yeah. Well, you've carved out an interesting path
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: for yourself as the roast master. Yeah. You know, it's
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: like an old school skill, you know, that used to
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: be a big part of comedy. You know, the Friars
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: Club roasts. Yeah.
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 2: I miss those Friars Club roasts when they were just like,
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 2: you know, sometimes they weren't even on TV yet when
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 2: I was doing them. I just bought a Leroy Neiman
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: painting from, they had an auction of old Friars memorabilia
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 2: and Leroy Neiman painted Henny Youngman. surrounded and he painted
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 2: his punch lines like around his one-liners around Henny holding
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 2: his violin and he used to sit in the dining
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: room at the New York Friars and Henny in his
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: wheelchair would sit under that painting and for some reason
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: it's all up for auction so of course I had.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: To grab it oh that's awesome that's so cool that
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: you got it yeah that's amazing.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: I miss some of those guys think about Buddy Hackett
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: I almost wore a Buddy Hackett t-shirt today I loved
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 2: Buddy Hackett.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: He has a Buddy Hackett t-shirt?
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 2: Somebody made me a Buddy Hackett t-shirt and gave.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: It to me. Yeah, those guys are from a different time,
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: you know? Different time. No television. No nothing. Doing the
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: cat skills. Right. Different world.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 2: They would do each other's acts. They would do whatever
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 2: got a laugh.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah. They were assassins on the road. It was a
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: totally different life. And if you had a name, like
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: you had a name back then, like if you were
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: a famous comedian back then, there was the rarest of
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: rare things. Yeah. How many of them were there? There
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 1: was like 10? Right. You know?
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 2: Shecky, Buddy, Nipsey.
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: Few of those guys. Yeah. Few of those guys.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 2: There are not many left.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: They're really all gone now.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's what happens.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 2: That's going to happen to us, Buddy.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: That's what I hear.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: Better than the alternative.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: What? Stay around forever? No. Either... You.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 2: Either keep going or you saw the picture, Gilbert, Norm, Bob,
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 2: you know, the alternative is death. So when I go,
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 2: I don't want to get old, I go, yeah, you
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 2: want to get old.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah. As long as you keep your body moving. You
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 1: just don't want to be an old, like, completely incapacitated person. Like, that's,
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: especially if it's avoidable. Right. You know what I mean?
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 2: I went through it all year. Three weeks after that
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 2: Brady roast, I went in for a colonoscopy. My buddy
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 2: Jordan had been texting our text chain. He's kind of
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 2: a hypochondriac, so I kind of ignored it. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 2: I was too busy. I was on the road. And
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: then finally I went in for a routine colonoscopy. And
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 2: I waited too long. And they found a tumor in
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 2: my colon. And immediately that an hour, two hours later
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 2: was on the phone with a surgeon. And stage three.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 2: And found a specialist, took care of it right away,
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: but never felt doomed.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: Have you changed your diet after that?
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: I'm eating a lot less red meat.
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: Red meat?
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: Now when I eat red meat, it's like going to
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 2: be the best red meat.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: Why is it red meat? I don't know.
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, for me, growing up in a catering hall
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: in New Jersey around pastrami and prime rib, and he
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 2: said that that was a big cause of colon cancer.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: Really? Yeah.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 2: And processed foods.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: Processed foods make sense. Yeah. That makes sense.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 2: So I'm eating a lot less of that.
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: I moved over to turkey and chicken and a little
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 2: bit of fish.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: And cut out the processed stuff?
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 2: As much as I can.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: What about alcohol? Did you cut that out?
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 2: I've never been a big drinker.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little wake-up call.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: When you have a health scare, it's a wake-up call.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: Time to take care of yourself.
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 2: I just had the, you know, I talk about this
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: on my show, like I had my chemo port on Broadway,
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 2: on the show, and I was like, still kind of
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 2: in it. It's like I was having a human experience
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 2: on stage. And just two weeks ago, I had the port,
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 2: the chemo port taken out. My sister came down to
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 2: celebrate and hang with me and, and, uh, It's like
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 2: a war prize. Like, I hold the port where they
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 2: put the chemo. Like, I have it on my desk now.
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 2: And let's just say they put a lot more in
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 2: people than they take out. So I feel very lucky.
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 2: I survived it all. Yeah, I'm glad you're alive, dude.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 2: People die with those fucking ports in them.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 1: They do. Well, they die with cancer. That's for damn sure. Yeah.
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 1: Colon cancer is a very common one.
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 2: This guy, James Vanderbeek, younger than me.
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 1: I know. I met him. He was a nice fucking guy, man.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: He came to the club. Hung out with his wife
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 1: in the green room. Sweetest guy. Just such a nice guy.
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: And apparently he was struggling back then. I didn't know.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 1: He looked real thin, you know.
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 2: So when you asked me right when you walked in,
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 2: how are you doing?
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 1: I was like, great.
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 2: You know, like it was a it was a question
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 2: and you asked politely and innocently.
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, I didn't know that you
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: had gone through that. Yeah.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 1: I haven't seen you in when? When was the last
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: time I saw you?
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 2: I saw you in D.C. I saw you in New
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 2: York for Kill Tony.
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: Briefly. Yeah, yeah, briefly. We didn't, like, sit down and
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: shoot the shit.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 2: No, no, we had a drink. Was it your birthday
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 2: in New York when you were doing Kill Tony? Or
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 2: was it here? New York.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: I think it was in New York. It was August.
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that. But then I saw
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 2: you in D.C. when you were with your family. It
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 2: was quick.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 1: But, uh.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: I feel like I see you because I pop into
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 2: the mothership, but I always pop in on the weekends
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 2: when you're off.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, it was a crazy thing, man. I've never
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 2: been sick a day in my life. I've always had that, like,
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 2: my grandpa used to call it world-beater energy. Like, I
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 2: always felt invincible, never thought for a second it would
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 2: be me.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 2: And then I did wait too long to get a colonoscopy.
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 2: And they're not a big deal. Like, guys are afraid
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 2: of colonoscopies because.
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: Because something's up your butt.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but in the end... It really isn't up your butt.
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 2: It's a doctor checking you out.
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: That's what they tell you when you wake up. They
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: go up your butt, bro.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 2: And get the endoscopy, especially for smokers and stuff like that.
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 2: And for what is essentially a one-day inconvenience, they can
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 2: really save your life. It did save my life.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad you cleaned up your diet. Yeah. You know,
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: you got to do that because I know that you are...
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've run into you at Cat's Deli before, too.
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 2: That's another thing I needed to talk to you about.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: What?
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 2: I forgot all about this until you brought it up.
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 2: Do you remember running into me at Cat's Deli with
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 2: Tony and.
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 2: I guess you must have been in town doing stand-up
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 2: or something. This was like already 10 years ago.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 1: I don't think it was that long ago, was it?
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 2: It was, and I'll tell you how I know. One
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 2: of the things when I.
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 2: When I got booked on this appearance, I said, I
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 2: make a mental note, I overwoke an apology. And it's
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 2: not a big deal, but it always kind of bugged me.
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 2: I came in to say hi, and I was self-conscious
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 2: because I had something wrong with me and I didn't
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 2: know what it was. And you said, what's with your eyebrows?
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 2: And I, like, I, like, shook... I like kind of
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 2: shoulder shrugged and you were like, is it for a role?
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 2: Do you have any recollection?
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: I do. And I lied. Yeah.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 2: Because I was embarrassed.
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 1: You said I shaved him off for a role. I
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's crazy. What are you playing?
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 2: I was embarrassed because I had alopecia. Didn't really understand
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 2: what was happening to me yet. And I, you saw the,
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 2: I had a big fro, big bushy eyebrows, like. I
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 2: was like the Propecia Man of the Year. And I
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 2: don't know what causes it. It's an autoimmune thing. It's
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 2: not life-threatening. But suddenly I looked completely different. My fame,
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 2: like if anyone ever recognized me, walking into a restaurant,
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 2: you know, get a good table, skip the line. It
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 2: was all gone. Just suddenly and within a few weeks.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: I was.
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 2: I remember being at Zaney's in Nashville and just scratching
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 2: my head and, like, a big clump of hair came out.
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 2: Then I was on a plane and I was like,
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 2: there's no hair on my leg. What the fuck's going on?
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 2: And then within a month, me and Adam Egatt and
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 2: Tony went to the barbershop on Melrose. They came with
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 2: me because I was kind of, like, shaken up. Like,
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 2: what is happening to me?
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 1: Am I dying? So it happened really quickly?
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 2: It happens all within a few weeks.
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 1: All your hair fell off within a few weeks. And then.
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 2: When I thought it was done, eyebrows started going. And
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 2: then eyelashes. So sweat, salt. I was like, what the fuck?
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 2: I didn't even recognize myself.
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: Is there anything they do that reverses that?
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 2: There's some medications.
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: Dr.
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: Drew actually hooked me up with a research doctor, Brett King.
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 2: He was at Yale at the time in Connecticut. And
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 2: I did have... some restoration of eyelashes and eyebrows, but
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 2: the side effects were a little bit scary and they
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 2: lower your immune system a little bit. So I did
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 2: that for years. And then when I got cancer, I
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 2: was like, fuck, those meds. I can't do it anymore.
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 2: And the chemo eyebrows, eyelashes gone again.
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 2: And now I'm literally like hairless. Like I have no hair. And,
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 2: you know, you learn to live with it. You know,
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 2: you got to channel your inner rock stuff.
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: Listen, there's worse things that can happen.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 2: Believe me, I get it.
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 1: You know. Right. More than anybody.
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 2: But it always dinged me because you and I have
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 2: been friends a long time. We have an honest friendship, comics,
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 2: brutal honesty, truth. And I looked you right in the
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 2: eyes and I was like, yeah, I went with it.
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 1: I found out. slightly after that, that you had alopecia
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 1: from other people because someone else brought it up and
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 1: someone said, oh, he's got alopecia. And I'm like, oh,
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 1: I asked him at Cat's Deli. And he said he
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 1: shaved his eyebrows off for a while. But I just
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: felt like you're probably embarrassed. And I totally understood. Like,
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 1: it's weird.
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: They say a lot of these autoimmune issues come from inflammation.
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 1: And a lot of inflammation comes from what you eat. Right.
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 2: Doctor would tell me that wasn't true.
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: So. Yeah, doctors aren't always right. And one of the
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: things they're not always right about is nutrition and the
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 1: impact that nutrition has, particularly on autoimmune issues. Very few
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 1: doctors have any knowledge or any education in nutrition and
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: the impact it has. I mean, your entire body is
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: built out of and reconstructed from what you consume. It's
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 1: the only thing that your body has. Your body makes
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 1: new cells. Your body replenishes cells, recreates all the tissue.
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 1: There's only one way to do It's got to be
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 1: what you eat. It's the only thing. What you drink,
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 1: what you eat. That's it. And if you're eating a
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 1: bunch of processed stuff that has a bunch of bullshit
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: and preservatives.
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 2: And dealing with inflammation, well, a.
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: Lot of things. Allergies cause inflammation. Processed food causes inflammation.
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: Excess sugar causes inflammation. Alcohol. There's a lot of things
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 1: that people eat that cause inflammation. But it's really genuinely
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: a thing of a balance of, you know, your diet. And,
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: you know, what your body has to work with. You know,
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 1: if your body doesn't have any nutrients to work with,
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 1: no vitamins, no minerals, you know, you're dehydrated, you're drinking
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: too much sugar, you know, things start malfunctioning and misfiring.
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 1: And then, you know, there's a bunch of different consequences
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 1: for having a high inflammation diet. And for a lot
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 1: of people, it's sugar. Sugar is one of the leading
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 1: causes of inflammation, especially in the standard American diet. Because
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 1: the standard American diet is just riddled with excess sugar.
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: Corn syrup and bullshit and preservatives. And your body just
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 1: after a while just gets tired of processing that stuff.
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: And then you start encountering a bunch of issues. And
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: I know there's a lot of autoimmune issues that people
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 1: have had success in reversing. By completely cutting out everything
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 1: other than whole foods. Just eating chicken and meat and
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 1: vegetables and drinking water and that's it. Cutting out all
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: the bullshit.
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got to do better.
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 1: Have you ever gotten blood work done?
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 2: Well, now I have to do it all the time.
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 1: Do you? Do you ever get blood work done from
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 1: like a comprehensive laboratory that's looking at your nutrient levels
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 1: and all those different things?
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I've done that.
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: Well, you should do that. There's a place in town, Wastewell.
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: I'll send you there. Yeah. Yeah, they're really good. I mean,
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: they do. They take a shitload of blood, and they
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: do these really comprehensive blood panels. They can scan for cancer, too,
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 1: by the way.
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, that I've done.
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a big one, you know, because they can
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: check for any kind of cancer in your body.
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 2: Well, now that I'm through all that, I'm much more
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 2: open to taking care of myself and staying on it.
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 1: The first time I did that one, I was like,
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 1: cancer's a scary one. And I was like, boy, I
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 1: hope I don't have cancer and don't know about it.
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 1: When it came out, zero, I was like, But I
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 1: do so much to take care of myself. I do
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: the sauna every day, cold plunge. I take a ton
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 1: of vitamins. I'm always exercising. I eat probably like 99% clean.
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 1: Every now and then I'll fuck off. Or if my
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 1: daughter makes cookies, I'll eat cookies. But for the most part,
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 1: I give my body.
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 2: What kind of cookies?
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 1: She's really good. She bakes a bunch of different stuff.
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 1: Today was white chocolate chip cookies. They were really good.
• 1:32:59
  Speaker 1: I had one this morning. But for the most part, it's...
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 1: Your body... can only use what you put in it.
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 1: There's no other building blocks. It doesn't have anything else.
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 1: There's nothing else it can draw from. And that's one
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 1: of the problems is when you don't give your body
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 1: what it needs, it starts taking things out of the tissue.
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 1: It starts taking things, and that's where osteoporosis comes from.
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 1: Your body starts literally taking calcium out of your bones.
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 1: You know, you've got to give your body the building blocks.
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 1: Without that, it doesn't know what the fuck to do.
• 1:33:30
  Speaker 1: And slowly but surely, you start to deteriorate. And there's
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 1: a giant difference between giving your body a nutrient-dense, healthy
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 1: diet and not. And taking care of yourself and exercising
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: and not. And drinking much water and electrolytes and not.
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: There's a giant difference. And it's all– your body just
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 1: cannot recreate itself correctly. It cannot build itself and repair
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 1: itself correctly unless it gets the proper nutrients. That's where
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 1: a lot of people's issues come from. And doctors don't
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: tell you that. Like– I had a family member that
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 1: got real sick, and the doctor said they got cancer.
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 1: And the doctor said, it doesn't matter what you eat.
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 1: I go, well, fuck that doctor. That's not true.
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 2: I don't believe that at all.
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 1: This doctor's telling you you could eat cake and just
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 1: take chemo and you'll be fine. That's horseshit. That's not true.
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: That's not true. Because one of the things they should
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 1: tell you immediately is get on a ketogenic diet. Because
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 1: one of the things that has been proven is that
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 1: cancer uses glucose to survive. And autophagy, which comes from diabetes.
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 1: Fasting is one of the best ways that people can
• 1:34:33
  Speaker 1: get rid of errant cells and cells that are misfiring.
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 1: Make your body burn off fat. Use ketones for energy.
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 1: And just get rid of all the dead cells. Get
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 1: rid of all the shit that your body doesn't need.
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: And if you don't even want to do that, do
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 1: intermittent fasting where you only have a period of time
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 1: where you eat. Give yourself a 16-hour window with no food.
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 1: And then start eating after that.
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 2: How do you keep your– how do you not be
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 2: cranky and lose your mind doing that?
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: Because your body is relying on carbohydrates, right? So when
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 1: your body is not relying on carbohydrates and your body
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: is burning off ketones, you don't have that problem. You
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 1: don't have that crashing problem. The crashing problem is from
• 1:35:16
  Speaker 1: a high-carbohydrate diet. And I've had that before. Look, I'm Italian,
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 1: so carbohydrates was my thing. It was all about pasta
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 1: and pizza. I love that stuff. I just love it.
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: And that's my cheat food. If I'm going to cheat,
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: I'm going to eat Italian subs and that kind of shit.
• 1:35:32
  Speaker 1: But when your body gets accustomed to that, first of all,
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 1: you get a big insulin spike. You crash. You get exhausted.
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: The way to avoid that is to get your body
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: to start using fats. And the way your body uses
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 1: fats is that's what you give it for fuel. Your
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 1: body adjusts. And then your body does something called gluconeogenesis
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 1: where it starts using meat and protein and turning that
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 1: into glucose. And when you go through this process, it's
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 1: a shaky process at first. Like you get what they
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 1: call the keto flu originally, initially rather, where you get
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 1: tired all the time. You're like, oh, this is exhausting.
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 1: And your workouts suffer. It's like you have no energy.
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 1: But eventually your body adapts and your body just gets
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 1: accustomed to using fats. And when your body gets fat adapted,
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 1: first of all, your brain works better. You get an
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 1: extra gear in terms of like your ability to think
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 1: and communicate and It just feels like you have more energy.
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 1: You don't need naps. And you don't crash after you eat.
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 1: That's why when you're saying you shouldn't eat red meat,
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 1: I eat mostly red meat. That's like most of my diet.
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 1: That's like 80% of my diet is meat.
• 1:36:38
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's an addiction for me.
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's an addiction. I think it's the
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 1: most nutrient-dense food in the world. The problem is processed
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 1: red meat, right? So if you're eating a bunch of
• 1:36:49
  Speaker 1: processed shit that has a bunch of preservatives in it, yeah,
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 1: that's not good for you. But like a ribeye steak?
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 1: a grilled ribeye steak, there is nothing wrong with that.
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 1: It's one of the most healthy foods you can eat.
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 1: And it has everything you need. It has plenty of vitamins.
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 1: It has fat. It has all the things that your
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 1: body naturally knows how to process. And people have been
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 1: eating that food from the beginning of time. Yeah, you
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: just got to get educated in it. And it's like
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 1: most people, especially particularly most doctors, I've had conversations with
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 1: doctors where they've said, You get everything you need from
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 1: a balanced diet. And I'm like, fuck you. You don't
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 1: know anything. Like how much time did you spend in
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: medical school learning nutrition? Was it even an hour? Was
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 1: it a day? Like it takes a long time. And
• 1:37:36
  Speaker 1: there's real researchers who have spent decades understanding the balance
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 1: of nutrient-dense foods and vitamin supplementation and what vitamin supplementation
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 1: can cure and fix and what it's good for. And
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 1: how to balance it out and what vitamins work synergistically
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 1: with other vitamins. Like if you're taking vitamin D3, which
• 1:37:56
  Speaker 1: is fantastic for your immune system, you have to take
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 1: it with K2. You should take it with magnesium as well.
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 1: You've got to know these things. And most doctors, they
• 1:38:05
  Speaker 1: talk out of a voice of authority about something they're
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 1: not educated in. They're educated in getting people in and
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: out of their office as quick as possible and getting
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 1: that insurance money. And that's what they do. And most
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 1: of them, they talk like they're authorities. Meanwhile, they have
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 1: a gut. You're sitting there looking at this guy who
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 1: looks like shit and he's telling you about health. Like, bro,
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 1: you're not healthy. Don't talk to me about health. This
• 1:38:27
  Speaker 1: is angry. It makes me angry. it really does I
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 1: get it it's infuriating because it's like these people you
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 1: count on them as authorities and really they're just they're
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 1: just paying off their student debt they're paying off their
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 1: fucking loans they have insane malpractice insurance they have to
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 1: cover they have a giant monthly nut and they're trying
• 1:38:45
  Speaker 1: to push pharmaceutical drugs on you as much as they
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 1: can because they get compensated for that And that's what
• 1:38:50
  Speaker 1: they do. And this is the standard American health system.
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: It's a real problem. It's a real problem, and it
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 1: leaves us sicker. This is the thing that RFK Jr.
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 1: is trying to balance. We spend more money on health
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 1: care than anyone in the world. We make more money
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 1: than anyone in the world, and we're sicker than anyone
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: in the world. We spend more money than we ever
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 1: have on health care. We're sicker than we've ever been.
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 2: We're living the life. We're eating well.
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 1: It's not it. We're eating shit. If we're just eating healthy...
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 1: The people that are just eating healthy have way less problems,
• 1:39:23
  Speaker 1: way less health consequences, way less issues, way more energy,
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 1: way more mental acuity, all those things. Because that's how
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 1: your body is supposed to live. For thousands and thousands
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 1: of years, what did we do? We ate fruit. We
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 1: ate vegetables. We ate meat and chicken and fish and eggs.
• 1:39:39
  Speaker 1: And that's what you're supposed to eat. That's real food.
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 1: Most of these things that sit on a shelf are.
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 1: You're not supposed to eat those. Right. Just like your dog.
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 1: Like your dog's not supposed to be eating kibble. Right.
• 1:39:49
  Speaker 1: You know? Feed your dog raw food, your dog's going
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 1: to go bonkers. Feed your dog human-grade food like farmer's dog,
• 1:39:55
  Speaker 1: your dog will go crazy. Watch how she eats it.
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 1: Watch the difference in the way.
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 2: I'll try it.
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 1: My dog can't wait. He's dripping. Water's dripping off of
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 1: his mouth before I feed him. He's like sitting there waiting.
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like, stay. And I'm putting it in the bowl.
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay. He like attacks it. Jamie, you were
• 1:40:15
  Speaker 1: saying that about your dog, right? Carl, when he was
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 1: eating kibble, he wasn't even interested.
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, I never had a chance to even give
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 1: it to him.
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 2: He never ate it.
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 1: He would just sit there. I'm like, well, who's been
• 1:40:30
  Speaker 1: feeding you? How did they get in your body?
• 1:40:33
  Speaker 2: I always give my dog, when I give her turkey,
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 2: sometimes if I have turkey or chicken around, I'll put
• 1:40:39
  Speaker 2: it in her bowl. I always give her, you know,
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 2: like at Katz's Deli when you order the sandwich, they
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 2: give you a little piece before that.
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 2: I always give her a little piece to get her salivating.
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 1: And she snaps it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because
• 1:40:51
  Speaker 1: it's real food. Right. That's what people are supposed to
• 1:40:54
  Speaker 1: be eating too, man. We're supposed to be eating real food,
• 1:40:57
  Speaker 1: you know. We got tricked because things have to stay
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 1: in the supermarket. You got to be able to sit
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 1: it on the shelf and it's got to be able
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 1: to stay there for a few months. That's how you
• 1:41:05
  Speaker 1: make your profit. That's why milk is homogenized and pasteurized.
• 1:41:09
  Speaker 1: They'll try to scare you off raw milk. Bitch, I
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 1: drink raw milk every week. There's nothing wrong with raw milk.
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 1: You just can't get it from a shitty farm. Just
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 1: like you can't get meat that's rotten. Just like you
• 1:41:19
  Speaker 1: can't get sushi that's rotten.
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 2: I eat ice cream every day. How bad is that
• 1:41:22
  Speaker 2: for me?
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 1: Ice cream is actually not that bad. Ice cream, when
• 1:41:27
  Speaker 1: you think about bad things to eat, ice cream is
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 1: probably one of the best desserts to eat because ice
• 1:41:35
  Speaker 1: cream has fats from the cream. It has protein from
• 1:41:39
  Speaker 1: the milk. And it does have sugar. So you got
• 1:41:42
  Speaker 1: a little bit of sugar. But you're absorbing that sugar
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 1: along with all the fat and all the cream. And
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 1: it probably is way better for you. It's way better
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 1: for you than sugar. Like drinking like a soda. Like
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 1: a soda is the most alien form of sugar your
• 1:42:00
  Speaker 1: body absorbs. Your body doesn't know what the fuck this is.
• 1:42:04
  Speaker 1: Because sugar in nature comes from like an orange tree.
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 1: It has all this fiber, you know, and you're eating
• 1:42:11
  Speaker 1: it and it's a slow digestive process. That's why you
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 1: don't get this crazy spike. But orange juice is fucking nuts.
• 1:42:18
  Speaker 1: Like you take all the fiber out and now you
• 1:42:20
  Speaker 1: just have just pure sugar water and you think you're
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 1: being healthy. Well, you're not. Okay, look, you get a
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 1: little bit of vitamins from the vitamin C that's from
• 1:42:28
  Speaker 1: the oranges, but you're not supposed to eat it that way.
• 1:42:31
  Speaker 1: You're supposed to eat an orange, like apple juice. Right.
• 1:42:35
  Speaker 1: Like my daughter's like very conscious of like food and
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 1: like what's in it. And she, she put, we went
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 1: to the supermarket and she was going to get an
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 1: apple juice. She's like, this has 30 grams of sugar.
• 1:42:46
  Speaker 1: This little thing at 30 grams of sugar. Like that's crazy.
• 1:42:50
  Speaker 1: That's just, you're just, you might as well have a Coca-Cola. Right.
• 1:42:52
  Speaker 1: It's kind of the same thing. Yeah. Your body, like,
• 1:42:57
  Speaker 1: I think there's a, there was some paper that was
• 1:42:59
  Speaker 1: written recently about ice cream actually being good for you.
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 1: And by far the best of desserts that you can eat.
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 1: Because it's milk and cream, you know? It's like there's
• 1:43:12
  Speaker 1: actual food in ice cream.
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 2: I crave it every night.
• 1:43:15
  Speaker 1: Ice cream's not that bad. Look at this. Can ice
• 1:43:17
  Speaker 1: cream be healthy? What recent studies actually show. Recent research
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 1: has sparked debate about ice cream's place in a balanced diet.
• 1:43:23
  Speaker 1: By examining long-term health studies, scientists are exploring whether moderate
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 1: consumption may have unexpected links to certain health outcomes. So
• 1:43:33
  Speaker 1: ice cream has long been regarded as classic indulgence rather
• 1:43:35
  Speaker 1: than a healthy food. The discussion largely emerged... Okay. However,
• 1:43:40
  Speaker 1: in recent times, some surprising research has sparked a debate
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 1: among nutrition scientists by saying that consumption of ice cream
• 1:43:47
  Speaker 1: may be related to certain unpredictable health outcomes. The discussion
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 1: largely emerged from data analyzed in long-running research projects such
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 1: as Nurses' Health Study and Health Professional Follow-Up Study, two
• 1:43:58
  Speaker 1: major epidemiological studies that track diet and health outcomes over decades...
• 1:44:02
  Speaker 1: Research examined dietary patterns among participants with type 2 diabetes.
• 1:44:06
  Speaker 1: Notice unusual pattern related to ice cream consumption. Discussion earned. Okay,
• 1:44:10
  Speaker 1: what is the discussion? Consuming ice cream more regularly sometimes
• 1:44:17
  Speaker 1: appear to have lower risks of certain health conditions, especially
• 1:44:21
  Speaker 1: cardiovascular disease amongst individuals of type 2 diabetes. The problem
• 1:44:26
  Speaker 1: is with epidemiological studies, you're just basically like filling out
• 1:44:30
  Speaker 1: a form as to what you ate. And they track
• 1:44:32
  Speaker 1: that with like large study groups of people and they
• 1:44:35
  Speaker 1: try to figure out, okay, that's one of the ways
• 1:44:37
  Speaker 1: they find out like, oh, the people that eat red
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 1: meat more are sicker. But that's also like what are
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 1: you eating? You eating burgers that you call red meat
• 1:44:45
  Speaker 1: with sugar, with a Coca-Cola and some fries? Because that's
• 1:44:50
  Speaker 1: what a lot of people are eating. So it's not
• 1:44:52
  Speaker 1: like grass-fed steak with a salad. You know, that's not
• 1:44:55
  Speaker 1: the problem.
• 1:44:57
  Speaker 2: Remember Craig, who came in here? Craig from Craig's. He
• 1:45:00
  Speaker 2: told me to say hi.
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 1: I love Craig.
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 2: He said steak, and I thought about steak.
• 1:45:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, he makes a great steak.
• 1:45:04
  Speaker 2: That was my joke when I got colon cancer. I
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 2: told Craig, you're going to go out of business if
• 1:45:08
  Speaker 2: I'm not eating your steak.
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 1: I don't think you have to stop eating steak. I mean,
• 1:45:12
  Speaker 1: I'm no doctor, but I don't think steak's the problem.
• 1:45:16
  Speaker 1: I think all the other shit's the problem. I think
• 1:45:18
  Speaker 1: it's preservatives and bullshit and processed food. It's just not
• 1:45:22
  Speaker 1: good for you, man. None of it's good for you.
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: If you could sit on a shelf... Like that has
• 1:45:26
  Speaker 1: all these preservatives. That stuff wrecks havoc on your gut bacteria.
• 1:45:30
  Speaker 1: When you're consuming things that are filled with preservatives, those
• 1:45:34
  Speaker 1: preservatives are essentially killing life. That's what they do. That's
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 1: how it keeps bacteria and mold from growing on the food.
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 1: It's a life killer. And then you eat it, go, oh, yum, yum, yum. Oh,
• 1:45:47
  Speaker 1: it's preserved so I can eat it. I mean, your
• 1:45:51
  Speaker 1: healthy gut bacteria just gets fucking nuked. Yeah, I don't
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 1: think it's meat is the problem.
• 1:45:59
  Speaker 2: I was on a USO Christmas tour, and I ate
• 1:46:06
  Speaker 2: worse on that than I would. And I go, how
• 1:46:11
  Speaker 2: are they?
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 2: That's something they should fix.
• 1:46:15
  Speaker 1: That is something. They're trying to fix that. RFK Jr.
• 1:46:18
  Speaker 1: is trying to fix that.
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 2: It's like eating ice cream and shakes and burgers and
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 2: pizza at every base.
• 1:46:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot of processed food. Yeah, it's terrible
• 1:46:26
  Speaker 1: food for those soldiers. It's terrible. And then you're asking
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 1: them to go to perform in the most fucking scary
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 1: thing on earth, combat.
• 1:46:35
  Speaker 2: So it made me think, well, maybe it's all bullshit.
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 2: If the military is eating the same pizza and pepperoni
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 2: that I'm eating at home, then they should be more.
• 1:46:44
  Speaker 1: No, what's bullshit is the way they treat those people.
• 1:46:47
  Speaker 1: That's what's bullshit. What's bullshit is the way they take
• 1:46:51
  Speaker 1: care of them. That's what's bullshit. What's bullshit is the
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 1: consideration they give to the diet of these people. Right.
• 1:46:56
  Speaker 1: You're asking these people to make the ultimate sacrifice. That's
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You're giving them prison food. That's what's bullshit. Right. Yeah.
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 1: Diet's not bullshit. Diet's everything. It is literally everything. Like
• 1:47:07
  Speaker 1: I said, your body has nothing else, nothing else that
• 1:47:12
  Speaker 1: it can build itself up with other than nutrients. That's
• 1:47:16
  Speaker 1: all it has. You consume it. If you don't, you
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 1: starve to death, right? If you don't eat, you starve
• 1:47:21
  Speaker 1: to death. So- In order for your body to take
• 1:47:24
  Speaker 1: care of itself, what are you giving it? It's that simple.
• 1:47:27
  Speaker 2: You drink a lot of water?
• 1:47:28
  Speaker 1: A lot of water, yeah.
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 2: You still drink a lot of coffee?
• 1:47:31
  Speaker 1: I drink less. I've been drinking coffee later in the
• 1:47:35
  Speaker 1: day now. I've been going through my day and not
• 1:47:38
  Speaker 1: drinking my first cup of coffee until noon now. I've
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 1: been doing that a lot lately.
• 1:47:44
  Speaker 2: You don't need it in the morning to get going?
• 1:47:46
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like I do. I enjoy it. I
• 1:47:49
  Speaker 1: indulge if I enjoy it, but I don't like relying
• 1:47:51
  Speaker 1: on things. having to do things. I don't ever want
• 1:47:55
  Speaker 1: to have that feeling. So lately I've been like, and
• 1:47:58
  Speaker 1: I've gone days without coffee, just to see what that
• 1:48:00
  Speaker 1: feels like. Sometimes I feel a little sluggish, but there's
• 1:48:03
  Speaker 1: ways you can avoid that too. Like I'll take nootropics,
• 1:48:06
  Speaker 1: which is a brain nutrients, you know, theanine and acetylcholine
• 1:48:12
  Speaker 1: and a bunch of different things. Like there's alpha brain,
• 1:48:15
  Speaker 1: that stuff pumps my brain up and fires it up.
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 1: It's just, you get addicted to caffeine. Caffeine is very,
• 1:48:21
  Speaker 1: very addictive. And I feel like if I can get
• 1:48:24
  Speaker 1: my day going without it, it's probably better. Yeah.
• 1:48:27
  Speaker 2: I drink a lot less, but I see what you're saying.
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 1: I love it, though.
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's great.
• 1:48:31
  Speaker 1: I love a cup of coffee. I love it. I
• 1:48:33
  Speaker 1: love it.
• 1:48:35
  Speaker 2: And I landed yesterday, Austin Airport. Like, I needed a
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 2: coffee so bad. I'd been out partying the night before,
• 1:48:41
  Speaker 2: early flight. I land, and you just want a cup
• 1:48:43
  Speaker 2: of coffee before you even start seeing your texts because
• 1:48:46
  Speaker 2: you don't want to deal. And it's like the first
• 1:48:48
  Speaker 2: place I go to, it's like there's a long line.
• 1:48:51
  Speaker 2: I finally get there, and it's like it's a kiosk.
• 1:48:54
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I can't kiosk. I need to just
• 1:48:56
  Speaker 2: tell someone to put coffee in a cup and hand
• 1:48:59
  Speaker 2: it to me. And I go to another place, and
• 1:49:01
  Speaker 2: it's like they charge me, and then they hand me
• 1:49:04
  Speaker 2: a cup and go fill it. And I walk away.
• 1:49:06
  Speaker 2: I just can't. I get so freaking cranky. And I
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 2: go to the third place, finally, and it's just like,
• 1:49:12
  Speaker 2: they give you a cup of coffee. The kiosk and
• 1:49:16
  Speaker 2: the no employees, it all makes me so mad. I
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 2: want to talk to somebody. I don't like filling out
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 2: a computer when I want something.
• 1:49:26
  Speaker 1: I rarely go to coffee places because I drink black coffee.
• 1:49:30
  Speaker 1: And black coffee at Starbucks tastes like dog shit. It's
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 1: all burnt and tastes terrible. It's just not good.
• 1:49:37
  Speaker 2: I could drink any coffee. You could take old coffee,
• 1:49:40
  Speaker 2: put it in the microwave, and it's the same to
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 2: me as.
• 1:49:42
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 1:49:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, an espresso that you're making it.
• 1:49:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, I like this. See, this is French press. Black
• 1:49:49
  Speaker 1: rifle coffee. You want some? Yeah. Get in there, dog.
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 1: That's good coffee. That's real coffee, son.
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you, brother. That's coffee.
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 1: Cheers. Taste that. Cheers. Here's another problem.
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 2: That's good.
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 1: That's not bad, right? If you get coffee from Starbucks,
• 1:50:08
  Speaker 1: you're getting it in a paper cup. And if you
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 1: get it in a paper cup, it's not paper you're
• 1:50:12
  Speaker 1: drinking out of. It's plastic. Because the inner lining of
• 1:50:15
  Speaker 1: those paper cups is basically like a condom. Right. Ever
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 1: seen when they break it down?
• 1:50:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:50:20
  Speaker 1: Well, if you add hot liquid to plastic, that plastic
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 1: leaches chemicals into your body that are not good for you.
• 1:50:29
  Speaker 1: They're called forever chemicals. It's terrible for you. So every
• 1:50:34
  Speaker 1: time you drink a hot liquid that's in a paper cup,
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 1: you're sucking on plastic residue.
• 1:50:40
  Speaker 2: That's gross.
• 1:50:41
  Speaker 1: We're gross. There's a lot of things that are gross
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: about the American lifestyle. I mean, if you get coffee
• 1:50:48
  Speaker 1: from Starbucks or something like that, ideally you should bring
• 1:50:51
  Speaker 1: your own cup. Bring a mug. Bring one of those
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 1: little Yetis. So it's like pouring right into stainless steel.
• 1:51:00
  Speaker 1: That's how you're supposed to drink it. But who does that?
• 1:51:03
  Speaker 1: Who brings a little stainless steel?
• 1:51:04
  Speaker 2: Not me.
• 1:51:05
  Speaker 1: Yeti with them everywhere. Not me. Nobody. But if you
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 1: did that, you'd get a lot less of these fucking
• 1:51:11
  Speaker 1: microplastics in your gut. It'd also wreck havoc on your body,
• 1:51:14
  Speaker 1: destroy your immune system, destroy your endocrine system. They're endocrine disruptors,
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 1: so it stops your body from producing hormones naturally, which
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 1: also can lead to a host of different diseases.
• 1:51:27
  Speaker 2: Makes me think maybe Charlie Sheen was right after all.
• 1:51:30
  Speaker 1: Crack.
• 1:51:30
  Speaker 2: Smoking crack while getting a blowjob.
• 1:51:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's how to do it.
• 1:51:33
  Speaker 2: You don't think he was worried about the plastics in
• 1:51:35
  Speaker 2: the pipe?
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 1: Well, there's certain dudes that are built different. I mean,
• 1:51:39
  Speaker 1: a lot of people that did what Charlie did would
• 1:51:41
  Speaker 1: have already been dead a long time ago. He's resilient.
• 1:51:47
  Speaker 1: I do hope somebody puts him in a big movie.
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 2: I like your idea.
• 1:51:52
  Speaker 1: I like a good comeback story.
• 1:51:54
  Speaker 2: Maybe he's due for another roast.
• 1:51:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It'll be hard now. He's all clean, sober.
• 1:52:01
  Speaker 1: It's like, what did you do 20 years ago? It's like, eh.
• 1:52:04
  Speaker 1: But now he's kind of doing all right. He looks good.
• 1:52:08
  Speaker 1: He looks healthy. He looked a lot better than I
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 1: thought he was going to look. It doesn't look like
• 1:52:13
  Speaker 1: a guy who's went through 25 years of crack.
• 1:52:16
  Speaker 2: And he was sick?
• 1:52:17
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. And what did he have?
• 1:52:20
  Speaker 2: HIV.
• 1:52:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. HIV is weird. That's a weird one. Because
• 1:52:26
  Speaker 1: with the medication they have now, you don't really, you're
• 1:52:30
  Speaker 1: not even testing positive. But they just tell you you
• 1:52:32
  Speaker 1: have it no matter what. It's dormant. It doesn't totally
• 1:52:36
  Speaker 1: make sense. There was a guy named Peter Duesberg that
• 1:52:38
  Speaker 1: I had on my show a long time ago. And
• 1:52:41
  Speaker 1: he was a professor out of the University of California, Berkeley.
• 1:52:45
  Speaker 1: And just brilliant, brilliant guy. Groundbreaking work on cancer. But
• 1:52:52
  Speaker 1: he had a very controversial take on HIV. And his
• 1:52:55
  Speaker 1: take was he didn't believe that HIV is what caused AIDS.
• 1:52:58
  Speaker 1: He said the fact that you have HIV is because
• 1:53:01
  Speaker 1: your immune system is so severely compromised that HIV shows up.
• 1:53:05
  Speaker 1: That was his take on it. And he was ostracized.
• 1:53:08
  Speaker 1: You got to realize, like, during the AIDS crisis, do
• 1:53:12
  Speaker 1: you know who was the guy that was in charge
• 1:53:14
  Speaker 1: of the medical establishment in this country? Anthony motherfucking Fauci.
• 1:53:19
  Speaker 1: Same guy. And that guy had everybody convinced that we're
• 1:53:23
  Speaker 1: all going to get AIDS, that we're all going to die,
• 1:53:25
  Speaker 1: and y'all have to take this medication. And one of
• 1:53:27
  Speaker 1: the medications they gave people was AZT. The problem with
• 1:53:30
  Speaker 1: AZT was AZT was a chemotherapy medication, and it was
• 1:53:35
  Speaker 1: killing people quicker than cancer was, so they stopped using it.
• 1:53:37
  Speaker 1: They repurposed it when AIDS came along, and they started
• 1:53:40
  Speaker 1: giving it to AIDS people because they didn't have to
• 1:53:44
  Speaker 1: go through this whole process of, like, getting– a drug certified,
• 1:53:49
  Speaker 1: getting a drug to go through the FDA. They already
• 1:53:52
  Speaker 1: had a drug. So they said, well, this drug, this
• 1:53:54
  Speaker 1: will be the drug we use for AIDS. They fucking
• 1:53:56
  Speaker 1: killed everybody they put on it. Killed tons and tons
• 1:53:59
  Speaker 1: of people. When they stopped using AZT, people stopped dying.
• 1:54:03
  Speaker 1: That's what Dallas Buyers Club was all about. It was
• 1:54:05
  Speaker 1: all about them trying, that movie with Matthew McConaughey, it
• 1:54:08
  Speaker 1: was all about them trying to find alternative cures, alternative medications,
• 1:54:13
  Speaker 1: and being able to access alternative medications. He wanted everybody
• 1:54:16
  Speaker 1: to use AZT. And he was like, AZT, the reason
• 1:54:20
  Speaker 1: why they use it is the only drug that is
• 1:54:22
  Speaker 1: both safe and effective. It's literally what he said back
• 1:54:26
  Speaker 1: then in the fucking 80s. And that's the same guy
• 1:54:30
  Speaker 1: that sold us his bag of bullshit with the COVID
• 1:54:34
  Speaker 1: origins and whether or not it was gain-of-function research that
• 1:54:39
  Speaker 1: caused it. He's just a creepy fucking guy.
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 2: We never really got answers on any of this.
• 1:54:45
  Speaker 1: We will. It'll take time, but we will, and he'll
• 1:54:48
  Speaker 1: probably be gone by the time it's publicly understood. But
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 1: if you read RFK Jr. 's book, The Real Anthony Fauci,
• 1:54:55
  Speaker 1: it'll open your mind. It'll open your eyes. He talks
• 1:54:57
  Speaker 1: about how they were testing out in the 1980s. They
• 1:55:01
  Speaker 1: were testing out HIV vaccines on foster kids in New
• 1:55:05
  Speaker 1: York and killing them. Jesus. Yeah. They tested it on
• 1:55:10
  Speaker 1: foster kids. Yeah, it's real. If it wasn't real, he
• 1:55:13
  Speaker 1: would have been sued. He hasn't been sued for it. Wow.
• 1:55:17
  Speaker 1: It's a dark book, dude. The real Anthony Fauci, I
• 1:55:20
  Speaker 1: can't recommend it enough. It's a fucking terrifying book. But
• 1:55:22
  Speaker 1: that's the same guy that was a part of the.
• 1:55:25
  Speaker 2: Whole AIDS thing.
• 1:55:27
  Speaker 1: The movie's going to be weird. Who would play Anthony
• 1:55:31
  Speaker 1: Fauci in a movie? Maybe Martin Short.
• 1:55:35
  Speaker 2: I think it's another Sean Penn tour de force.
• 1:55:38
  Speaker 1: Sean Penn was all about the vaccine.
• 1:55:39
  Speaker 2: Do you miss acting?
• 1:55:41
  Speaker 1: Not even a little.
• 1:55:42
  Speaker 2: I was thinking about that the other day. You really...
• 1:55:45
  Speaker 2: We're in this whole other world, Joe. Call times, makeup, lines, blocking.
• 1:55:53
  Speaker 1: Well, I enjoyed working on news radio. And it was very,
• 1:55:56
  Speaker 1: I felt insanely fortunate to be able to work with
• 1:55:59
  Speaker 1: Phil Hartman and Dave Foley and all those people on
• 1:56:01
  Speaker 1: that show. Steven Root, Maura Tierney. So many funny people.
• 1:56:06
  Speaker 1: Andy Dick. It was incredible. Candy Alexander. It was an
• 1:56:09
  Speaker 1: incredible cast of people. I mean, I felt super, super lucky.
• 1:56:12
  Speaker 1: But once it was over, I'm like, I don't think
• 1:56:14
  Speaker 1: I'll ever be able to recreate that because that was
• 1:56:17
  Speaker 1: like optimal. And I had been on a couple other
• 1:56:20
  Speaker 1: shows as a guest. I didn't like it. And I
• 1:56:23
  Speaker 1: was like, this is not what I like. I only
• 1:56:27
  Speaker 1: did it for money, you know. It's not my thing.
• 1:56:30
  Speaker 1: And it's a long process, dude. Sitcom hours are, you know,
• 1:56:34
  Speaker 1: especially in the beginning days. It was like 12, 16
• 1:56:37
  Speaker 1: hour days.
• 1:56:38
  Speaker 2: Who wrote that show?
• 1:56:39
  Speaker 1: Paul Sims and a bunch of other writers. But he
• 1:56:41
  Speaker 1: was from the Larry Sanders show. You know, and he
• 1:56:45
  Speaker 1: did Bardwalk Empire after that and a bunch of other stuff.
• 1:56:49
  Speaker 1: Brilliant guy. But that show was just like, they caught
• 1:56:53
  Speaker 1: lightning in a bottle. I got so lucky to be
• 1:56:56
  Speaker 1: a part of that show. And I'm like, I could
• 1:56:58
  Speaker 1: never be on a shitty sitcom after that. You know,
• 1:57:01
  Speaker 1: I couldn't be on some fucking, you know. sloppy, canned
• 1:57:08
  Speaker 1: horse shit show.
• 1:57:08
  Speaker 2: You went highbrow with Fear Factor.
• 1:57:11
  Speaker 1: Well, I took that because there was no actors. First
• 1:57:14
  Speaker 1: of all, I took Fear Factor because I thought it
• 1:57:15
  Speaker 1: was going to be canceled. I thought this was going
• 1:57:17
  Speaker 1: to give me a lot of material.
• 1:57:18
  Speaker 2: It was like Radford forever.
• 1:57:20
  Speaker 1: 148 episodes. Yeah, it was nuts.
• 1:57:23
  Speaker 2: Have you seen the new one?
• 1:57:24
  Speaker 1: No, I haven't. But Johnny came on. Johnny Knoxville came
• 1:57:27
  Speaker 1: on to do it. I didn't see the ludicrous one either. But...
• 1:57:31
  Speaker 1: How long did Ludacris do it for?
• 1:57:33
  Speaker 2: I don't even know that till now.
• 1:57:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Ludacris did it. I think, was it on MTV, Jamie?
• 1:57:38
  Speaker 1: I think he did it on MTV. MTV did it
• 1:57:41
  Speaker 1: for a little while. I think he did it for,
• 1:57:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know how long, but I love Johnny. Johnny Knoxville.
• 1:57:47
  Speaker 1: He's the best.
• 1:57:48
  Speaker 2: A true gentleman.
• 1:57:49
  Speaker 1: Sweetheart of a guy.
• 1:57:50
  Speaker 2: And I love him so much.
• 1:57:52
  Speaker 1: I hope it does well. You know, I hope they
• 1:57:55
  Speaker 1: don't hurt anybody. That's the problem. Like when fear factor
• 1:57:58
  Speaker 1: came back on NBC, um, When we came back in
• 1:58:01
  Speaker 1: 2011 and we only did six episodes, they were really
• 1:58:04
  Speaker 1: trying to make it bigger and better. I was like,
• 1:58:05
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, we're going to fucking kill somebody. It felt
• 1:58:08
  Speaker 1: like it. It felt like when it was canceled, I
• 1:58:11
  Speaker 1: was happy. I was like, fuck this.
• 1:58:13
  Speaker 2: You were done.
• 1:58:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, it got canceled because they had a drink come.
• 1:58:19
  Speaker 1: Do you know that? No. You don't know that? What? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:58:24
  Speaker 1: They played horseshoes to drink donkey cum.
• 1:58:28
  Speaker 2: We still talking about Andy Dick at news radio?
• 1:58:30
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. We're talking about Fear Factor now. Andy
• 1:58:33
  Speaker 1: only drank people cum. He's a gentleman. But yeah, that happened.
• 1:58:40
  Speaker 1: That's what got the show canceled. But it's because they
• 1:58:43
  Speaker 1: were just trying to make it as outrageous as possible.
• 1:58:47
  Speaker 2: It's like the early, you were right at the beginning
• 1:58:48
  Speaker 2: of that crazy.
• 1:58:50
  Speaker 1: This is it. Fear Factor. Donkey Juice. This is it.
• 1:58:54
  Speaker 1: They had to play horseshoes. and they drank donkey piss
• 1:58:57
  Speaker 1: and donkey cum. There was three sets of twins, and
• 1:59:00
  Speaker 1: one twin had to drink the cum. Look at that.
• 1:59:02
  Speaker 1: That's a mug-o-cum. Oh, my gosh. It's so foul. Wow. Yeah,
• 1:59:08
  Speaker 1: so TMZ, I think, got a hold of the clip
• 1:59:12
  Speaker 1: or images and said that Fear Factor was doing this,
• 1:59:15
  Speaker 1: and it never aired in the United States, but it
• 1:59:17
  Speaker 1: aired overseas. It aired somewhere in Europe. I want to
• 1:59:20
  Speaker 1: say the Netherlands or Denmark or some shit. Wow. Yeah.
• 1:59:25
  Speaker 2: Now you survived.
• 1:59:26
  Speaker 1: Good times. Good times.
• 1:59:27
  Speaker 2: Now you're drinking delicious coffee and you're palatial.
• 1:59:30
  Speaker 1: Hanging out with you, Jeff Ross.
• 1:59:31
  Speaker 2: I love it, man.
• 1:59:32
  Speaker 1: Dude, I've known you since you were Jeff Lipschitz.
• 1:59:35
  Speaker 2: I've known you since your best joke, which was never
• 1:59:39
  Speaker 2: trust a hooker with a walkie-talkie. You were like 25,
• 1:59:44
  Speaker 2: but you were like, I've learned a lot of things
• 1:59:46
  Speaker 2: in my life. I never trust a hooker with a walkie-talkie.
• 1:59:50
  Speaker 2: Was that the joke?
• 1:59:50
  Speaker 1: No, it was I went to college for three years.
• 1:59:54
  Speaker 1: You know what I learned? Don't trust hookers with walkie-talkies.
• 2:00:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 2:00:01
  Speaker 2: You know me since Jeff Lipschultz. By the way, I'm
• 2:00:04
  Speaker 2: still Jeff Lipschultz. My ID, my passport.
• 2:00:08
  Speaker 1: Maybe you shouldn't tell everybody. It's all right. We should
• 2:00:10
  Speaker 1: have hid that.
• 2:00:11
  Speaker 2: It's at this point.
• 2:00:12
  Speaker 1: When did you change it to Ross? What year was that?
• 2:00:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, I could tell you. What happened was I got
• 2:00:19
  Speaker 2: booked on Star Search down in Florida. Like my first
• 2:00:22
  Speaker 2: time on TV. You know, we were all starting to
• 2:00:24
  Speaker 2: get like on MTV and Star Search. Those shows were
• 2:00:27
  Speaker 2: coming around. And I go down to Orlando where they
• 2:00:31
  Speaker 2: were shooting it back then. And Ed McMahon was the host.
• 2:00:38
  Speaker 2: And he kept introducing me by fucking up my, Arch,
• 2:00:41
  Speaker 2: this week's challenger, Jeff Lipschitz. And I'd walk out. And
• 2:00:47
  Speaker 2: it would screw me up, you know.
• 2:00:48
  Speaker 1: Then the next, I'd won.
• 2:00:50
  Speaker 2: And then the next day it's like, This week's challenger,
• 2:00:53
  Speaker 2: you know, life shots. You know, he would just screw
• 2:00:55
  Speaker 2: it up every time. And on the flight home, I
• 2:01:00
  Speaker 2: was like, I either have to, if I really love comedy,
• 2:01:04
  Speaker 2: I was like two years in, I go, let me
• 2:01:07
  Speaker 2: think about this. Ross is my middle name. Jon Stewart
• 2:01:11
  Speaker 2: was Jon Leibovitz, and he had told me he did
• 2:01:14
  Speaker 2: it for the similar reasons of like, no one can spell,
• 2:01:16
  Speaker 2: if I asked you to spell Lifshultz right now, even
• 2:01:18
  Speaker 2: you couldn't, and you'd know me 35 years. Right, right.
• 2:01:22
  Speaker 2: So I was like, all right, either I'm going to
• 2:01:24
  Speaker 2: have to change my name or my whole family's going to,
• 2:01:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know what to do. So Ross, it just
• 2:01:28
  Speaker 2: made sense.
• 2:01:29
  Speaker 1: It's easy. Yeah. Yeah, it's easy.
• 2:01:31
  Speaker 2: Jeff Ross.
• 2:01:32
  Speaker 1: What was Ed McMahon like? You know. Did you ever
• 2:01:35
  Speaker 1: hang out with him?
• 2:01:36
  Speaker 2: I shook his hand and that was the end of it.
• 2:01:39
  Speaker 2: I didn't get to know him very well.
• 2:01:40
  Speaker 1: I heard he was an animal.
• 2:01:41
  Speaker 2: I heard he drank a lot.
• 2:01:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:01:43
  Speaker 2: But then I made some joke like that and people
• 2:01:46
  Speaker 2: got mad at me online going, don't disrespect Ed McMahon.
• 2:01:49
  Speaker 1: Was he gone? By the time you made that joke?
• 2:01:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was recently because they rebooted Star Search just now.
• 2:01:55
  Speaker 1: Fuck people online. You can't listen to them.
• 2:01:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, dude, that's another thing Saget taught me, Bob Saget. Like,
• 2:02:00
  Speaker 2: block the haters. Like, you know, we would argue about
• 2:02:04
  Speaker 2: this because, like, he would block people. And I go, well,
• 2:02:07
  Speaker 2: then they know you saw it. Just ignore them. Let
• 2:02:11
  Speaker 2: them float out to sea.
• 2:02:12
  Speaker 1: He goes, no.
• 2:02:13
  Speaker 2: He goes, no. I want them to know that they're blocked.
• 2:02:16
  Speaker 2: He goes, and I don't want them following me.
• 2:02:18
  Speaker 1: I don't want.
• 2:02:19
  Speaker 2: I don't want to say funny things to people who
• 2:02:21
  Speaker 2: say mean things. He valued himself.
• 2:02:26
  Speaker 1: I say don't read the comments. I say don't even
• 2:02:29
  Speaker 1: pay attention. Let them exist in the ether.
• 2:02:31
  Speaker 2: Well, you're off social right now.
• 2:02:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:02:34
  Speaker 2: You told me.
• 2:02:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I post things, but I post and ghost. That's
• 2:02:38
  Speaker 1: what I tell people. Post and ghost. Just post things.
• 2:02:41
  Speaker 1: It's like people know about stuff or something's interesting. Someone
• 2:02:45
  Speaker 1: sends you something interesting. People should know about this. Right.
• 2:02:48
  Speaker 1: That's it. Get out.
• 2:02:49
  Speaker 2: I got better instead of using social media. Seth Green
• 2:02:54
  Speaker 2: is my neighbor, a good buddy of mine, the actor.
• 2:02:57
  Speaker 2: And he started doing this during the pandemic. Instead of
• 2:03:00
  Speaker 2: texting or liking people's stuff, he FaceTimes. It takes longer,
• 2:03:05
  Speaker 2: but he's like, it's a real connection.
• 2:03:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 2:03:08
  Speaker 2: So he'll FaceTime me and talk to me, just even
• 2:03:11
  Speaker 2: if it's for a minute.
• 2:03:12
  Speaker 1: What if you have an Android phone?
• 2:03:13
  Speaker 2: Then you're fucked. And my friend Benji Aflalo goes... He
• 2:03:17
  Speaker 2: quotes Brody all the time. He'll text me emojis, a
• 2:03:23
  Speaker 2: positive and a check. Positive check-in. He would just positive check-in.
• 2:03:28
  Speaker 1: Positive energy.
• 2:03:30
  Speaker 2: Positive check-in.
• 2:03:31
  Speaker 1: God, he was so fun. Here's another guy. He's on
• 2:03:34
  Speaker 1: my fucking contact list that's gone that I missed.
• 2:03:37
  Speaker 2: I almost wore my Brody... t-shirt today I was thinking
• 2:03:41
  Speaker 2: about him a lot lately I don't know why enjoy
• 2:03:43
  Speaker 2: it enjoy it has there ever been a comedian who's
• 2:03:46
  Speaker 2: been less famous but more his his cadence has been
• 2:03:50
  Speaker 2: more like remembered it's almost like him and Dangerfield have
• 2:03:53
  Speaker 2: the most memorable deliveries of all.
• 2:03:55
  Speaker 1: Time especially for us for the guys Brody Stevens I
• 2:03:57
  Speaker 1: don't know if people know yeah for the guys who
• 2:04:00
  Speaker 1: were around him he was so he was just such
• 2:04:02
  Speaker 1: a unique dude he would show up at the comedy
• 2:04:06
  Speaker 1: store and pull into the lot everybody would smile.
• 2:04:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, when I first met him, I really, truly hated him.
• 2:04:13
  Speaker 2: I really hated him. It was literally like the mid-90s Joe,
• 2:04:18
  Speaker 2: like in New York.
• 2:04:19
  Speaker 1: And I.
• 2:04:21
  Speaker 2: Can't believe I haven't thought about this in so long.
• 2:04:24
  Speaker 2: The show that, it's so funny. The show that's coming
• 2:04:28
  Speaker 2: out tonight, I'd started developing 30 years ago. My grandfather died.
• 2:04:32
  Speaker 2: I live with my grandfather. And it was like a
• 2:04:35
  Speaker 2: way to like process it. And it was emotional. And
• 2:04:40
  Speaker 2: I was doing it at little alternative comedy spaces.
• 2:04:43
  Speaker 1: In New York.
• 2:04:44
  Speaker 2: And I didn't know Brody. And Brody would sit in
• 2:04:46
  Speaker 2: the front. He was obsessed with it because I was
• 2:04:49
  Speaker 2: like talking about stuff that hit for him somehow. And
• 2:04:53
  Speaker 2: he would sit in the front, but he would like
• 2:04:57
  Speaker 2: over laugh or twitch around at a seat. So then,
• 2:05:01
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm developing this like one man show is
• 2:05:04
  Speaker 2: like different than standup. And he's like, He would want
• 2:05:07
  Speaker 2: to talk to me about it, and he would say
• 2:05:09
  Speaker 2: weird things that kind of threw me off. He would
• 2:05:12
  Speaker 2: notice the differences. And I said, listen, man, HBO's coming
• 2:05:18
  Speaker 2: to see it next week. Could you just not be
• 2:05:21
  Speaker 2: in the audience? He goes, oh, okay, I understand. I'm
• 2:05:25
  Speaker 2: the guy who bothers you. You don't like me. I
• 2:05:28
  Speaker 2: get that. I go, no, it's not that, man. It's
• 2:05:30
  Speaker 2: just that, like, you're like— Brody, 818 till I die.
• 2:05:35
  Speaker 2: You're distracting me, and I'm not like— you know, I was
• 2:05:38
  Speaker 2: only doing comedy a few years. So then HBO comes.
• 2:05:43
  Speaker 2: And Brody, I walk on stage, and Brody's in the
• 2:05:45
  Speaker 2: front row. So afterwards, I go, dude, what the fuck
• 2:05:50
  Speaker 2: is your problem? I told you not to be. He's like,
• 2:05:52
  Speaker 2: there were no other seats. I couldn't miss it. And
• 2:05:55
  Speaker 2: our friendship grew where we both moved out to L.A.,
• 2:05:57
  Speaker 2: and we became such good friends that I had a
• 2:06:01
  Speaker 2: Comedy Central show. He was the warm-up. I had to
• 2:06:03
  Speaker 2: have him around me all the time. I felt safer
• 2:06:06
  Speaker 2: and better. I think we both grew together.
• 2:06:09
  Speaker 1: I was a model in Pakistan. Cover of Camel Beat magazine.
• 2:06:17
  Speaker 2: I dated an amputee. We met on StubHub. What was
• 2:06:23
  Speaker 2: the one about the Nickelback tour jacket? I was at
• 2:06:27
  Speaker 2: the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I saw the
• 2:06:29
  Speaker 2: Nickelback tour. It was in the Lost and Found. I
• 2:06:33
  Speaker 2: love Brody. Look up Brody Stevens. I heard you talking
• 2:06:36
  Speaker 2: about him the other day. about his friendship with Zach Galifianakis.
• 2:06:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:06:44
  Speaker 2: Were you there when they did the memorial at the
• 2:06:46
  Speaker 2: Comedy Store? No.
• 2:06:49
  Speaker 1: No.
• 2:06:49
  Speaker 2: That's a good line.
• 2:06:50
  Speaker 1: I don't like those things.
• 2:06:51
  Speaker 2: I was backstage, and Brody's like college baseball coach, high
• 2:06:57
  Speaker 2: school baseball coach, and all his friends all spoke for
• 2:07:00
  Speaker 2: like an hour. And then they bring me out, and
• 2:07:02
  Speaker 2: they go, After hearing all Brody's friends talk for an hour,
• 2:07:05
  Speaker 2: I'm starting to understand why he killed himself.
• 2:07:11
  Speaker 1: That's why I don't like those things.
• 2:07:13
  Speaker 2: It was beautiful.
• 2:07:13
  Speaker 1: I prefer to mourn people solo.
• 2:07:17
  Speaker 2: It was beautiful, actually.
• 2:07:18
  Speaker 1: Well, Brody was a beautiful guy.
• 2:07:21
  Speaker 2: That's our world. We got to remember these guys.
• 2:07:23
  Speaker 1: I know. We do. Well, you know, one of the
• 2:07:25
  Speaker 1: good things about podcasts is, like, the world gets to
• 2:07:27
  Speaker 1: understand a lot of these people and hear us talk
• 2:07:30
  Speaker 1: about all these people. I think our world is more
• 2:07:33
  Speaker 1: understood now in this day and age with the podcast
• 2:07:37
  Speaker 1: world than I think it's ever been known before. More criticized,
• 2:07:40
  Speaker 1: but that's part of the process of it. That's normal.
• 2:07:44
  Speaker 1: But also more understood. People get it. They get it.
• 2:07:48
  Speaker 2: It's a weird art form. I remember when you had
• 2:07:50
  Speaker 2: Gilbert Gottfried on. That was great.
• 2:07:51
  Speaker 1: Gilbert was awesome.
• 2:07:52
  Speaker 2: I don't think he fully understood what was happening here,
• 2:07:56
  Speaker 2: but I remember really enjoying your interview with Gilbert.
• 2:08:00
  Speaker 1: What do you mean you don't think he understood? He'd
• 2:08:02
  Speaker 1: done Stern. He'd done.
• 2:08:03
  Speaker 2: Right, but he....
• 2:08:07
  Speaker 1: This is.
• 2:08:08
  Speaker 2: Stern is fast and jumping in and Joe, you know,
• 2:08:11
  Speaker 2: like impressions. This is more of a conversation, which Gilbert
• 2:08:15
  Speaker 2: in his spectrum thing, you know, it's tough. A lot
• 2:08:18
  Speaker 2: of yes and no answers.
• 2:08:20
  Speaker 1: I thought he was great. Yeah. But I loved him,
• 2:08:22
  Speaker 1: you know, and he knew I loved him. I was
• 2:08:24
  Speaker 1: always a giant fan of his. So it was like,
• 2:08:26
  Speaker 1: I think it was pretty easy.
• 2:08:27
  Speaker 2: I wear a Gilbert Gottfried shirt in the special.
• 2:08:29
  Speaker 1: That's cool.
• 2:08:30
  Speaker 2: Ultimate tribute.
• 2:08:31
  Speaker 1: He was a sweetheart. So sweet guy. So fucking funny too.
• 2:08:36
  Speaker 1: God damn. That guy was funny. I used to love
• 2:08:38
  Speaker 1: watching his sets in New York. The best. Especially like
• 2:08:42
  Speaker 1: in the 90s when no one knew who he was. Like,
• 2:08:44
  Speaker 1: oh my God, he's such a killer.
• 2:08:48
  Speaker 2: One of his last times on stage, I was at
• 2:08:51
  Speaker 2: an improv in Florida and he came with his family.
• 2:08:56
  Speaker 2: And he came on as a surprise guest. He walked
• 2:08:58
  Speaker 2: out and he told this long, crazy joke about skull-fucking
• 2:09:02
  Speaker 2: his dead grandma. So at his funeral, at his funeral,
• 2:09:09
  Speaker 2: like a year and a half later, I said, Gilbert's
• 2:09:12
  Speaker 2: comedy was fearless and ruthless and subversive, yet he was
• 2:09:15
  Speaker 2: so lovable that he could get us to laugh at
• 2:09:18
  Speaker 2: a joke about skull-fucking a dead person. And then I
• 2:09:21
  Speaker 2: looked at his coffin and I said, not so funny now, huh, Gilbert?
• 2:09:26
  Speaker 2: So I love Gilbert.
• 2:09:28
  Speaker 1: We've had the very unique opportunity to be around some really,
• 2:09:32
  Speaker 1: truly exceptional people. Rare, rare human beings. And so many
• 2:09:37
  Speaker 1: of them. We're so rich in our associations with so
• 2:09:41
  Speaker 1: many completely unusual people.
• 2:09:44
  Speaker 2: There's one more Gilbert story. One time we were roasting
• 2:09:49
  Speaker 2: Joan Rivers. I was producing it, and I booked Gilbert.
• 2:09:53
  Speaker 2: And I'm on the phone. I'm smoking a joint. And
• 2:09:55
  Speaker 2: I go, I got one joke I like, but I
• 2:09:57
  Speaker 2: can't do it. He goes, what is it? I go, well,
• 2:10:00
  Speaker 2: you know, like, Kanye West's mom had recently died during
• 2:10:05
  Speaker 2: a plastic surgery procedure. It was the background. And I go,
• 2:10:11
  Speaker 2: Joan Rivers, Gilbert, you know, Joan Rivers, Kanye's mom has
• 2:10:15
  Speaker 2: a better plastic surgeon than you. And I go, but
• 2:10:19
  Speaker 2: I can't do that. And Gilbert goes, I'll do it.
• 2:10:24
  Speaker 2: And that's when I realized I was being a pussy
• 2:10:25
  Speaker 2: and I had to do it. So I did it.
• 2:10:28
  Speaker 2: So he pushed me.
• 2:10:29
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. That's awesome.
• 2:10:32
  Speaker 2: He's a really special, special guy.
• 2:10:34
  Speaker 1: We're lucky dudes, Jeff. We really are. We're lucky. And
• 2:10:38
  Speaker 1: especially now that we know all these people that we
• 2:10:39
  Speaker 1: just talked about that were amazing and are gone. We're
• 2:10:42
  Speaker 1: lucky we're still here.
• 2:10:42
  Speaker 2: Being a comedian is like a backstage pass to the world.
• 2:10:46
  Speaker 2: You get to see things you never would see as
• 2:10:49
  Speaker 2: a civilian.
• 2:10:50
  Speaker 1: It's true.
• 2:10:51
  Speaker 2: I just went to Qatar, Djibouti, Africa.
• 2:10:56
  Speaker 1: You went to Djibouti?
• 2:10:57
  Speaker 2: What were you doing in Djibouti?
• 2:10:58
  Speaker 1: You did stand-up there?
• 2:10:59
  Speaker 2: For the troops. Christmas with the vice chairman of the
• 2:11:02
  Speaker 2: Joint Chiefs. Saw the Patriot missiles that they're using now.
• 2:11:06
  Speaker 2: I was at two of the bases that just got
• 2:11:08
  Speaker 2: hit just a few months ago.
• 2:11:11
  Speaker 1: Wow. That's nuts.
• 2:11:14
  Speaker 2: You get to see. And when you're with the vice chairman,
• 2:11:17
  Speaker 2: sometimes you're on. FOBs, they call them, Forward Operating Bases.
• 2:11:21
  Speaker 2: They don't even tell you where you are exactly.
• 2:11:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 2:11:24
  Speaker 2: You're like 80 miles from the Iranian border somewhere in
• 2:11:28
  Speaker 2: Kuwait or Qatar or Jordan. It's so cool.
• 2:11:32
  Speaker 1: Wild. You've always done a lot of stuff with the troops.
• 2:11:36
  Speaker 1: You've been doing that from way back, from like the
• 2:11:39
  Speaker 1: early 2000s. 2003, my first trip to Iraq.
• 2:11:44
  Speaker 2: With Drew Carey.
• 2:11:45
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 2:11:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he took me in 2003. Saddam was still alive.
• 2:11:49
  Speaker 2: I went back in 05. I've done probably 100 of
• 2:11:53
  Speaker 2: those shows all over the world. Wow. It's the best, man.
• 2:11:57
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm a comedian. That's the best feeling. That's
• 2:12:01
  Speaker 2: the best feeling. They say, oh, thanks for coming. And
• 2:12:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, thank you, man. Just forget that I'm, like, entertaining.
• 2:12:08
  Speaker 2: You know, you're doing a show for people who are
• 2:12:10
  Speaker 2: a star for entertainment. It fills me up.
• 2:12:12
  Speaker 1: Like, it....
• 2:12:14
  Speaker 2: It invigorates me. It's just, they're not drinking. They're the
• 2:12:19
  Speaker 2: best crowds.
• 2:12:20
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 2:12:22
  Speaker 2: I highly recommend it.
• 2:12:23
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. All right, dude. Your special, is it out yet? Tonight. Tonight.
• 2:12:30
  Speaker 1: Look at you. A Netflix comedy special. Longest special Netflix
• 2:12:35
  Speaker 1: ever did. You got the Bobby Brown microphone on?
• 2:12:40
  Speaker 2: I sing. I sing a song in the show.
• 2:12:42
  Speaker 1: A perfect salty, sweet, sour mix. Look at that outfit.
• 2:12:46
  Speaker 2: It's a suit of armor, this guy. This guy, poor guy,
• 2:12:51
  Speaker 2: lost his hands in an explosion.
• 2:12:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, jeez.
• 2:12:54
  Speaker 2: I asked him why his wife never got finger banged.
• 2:12:59
  Speaker 1: Jesus.
• 2:13:00
  Speaker 2: It's a multimedia show about my family, about resilience, about
• 2:13:04
  Speaker 2: bouncing back.
• 2:13:06
  Speaker 1: Are those screens on the back wall, a bunch of
• 2:13:08
  Speaker 1: different screens? Yeah. And they show different things on them?
• 2:13:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the dogs.
• 2:13:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's cool.
• 2:13:13
  Speaker 2: You're going to love this show.
• 2:13:14
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I'll love it.
• 2:13:15
  Speaker 2: It's about some of the stuff we were talking about,
• 2:13:17
  Speaker 2: like when you take a hit, getting back up.
• 2:13:21
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. And what's it called again?
• 2:13:23
  Speaker 2: It's called Take a Banana for the Ride. When I
• 2:13:25
  Speaker 2: was an open mic-er, I would take my grandfather to
• 2:13:28
  Speaker 2: his doctor appointments, and then at night I would go
• 2:13:32
  Speaker 2: in New York and try to get on stage at
• 2:13:34
  Speaker 2: the open mics, and my grandfather would give me a
• 2:13:36
  Speaker 2: few dollars for the bus and tolls and a banana.
• 2:13:39
  Speaker 2: Take a banana for the ride. Kind of his way
• 2:13:42
  Speaker 2: of saying, I can't go with you, but I'm there
• 2:13:44
  Speaker 2: with you on the ride. I just tattooed a banana
• 2:13:46
  Speaker 2: with my mom's, would write I love you or I
• 2:13:51
  Speaker 2: miss you and put them in my school lunches. So
• 2:13:53
  Speaker 2: I found an old letter with her handwriting and made
• 2:13:56
  Speaker 2: a tattoo. So now I always have a banana. This
• 2:14:01
  Speaker 2: one Eddie Vedder drew. It says born to roast.
• 2:14:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's cool. All right. It's out now. Ladies and gentlemen,
• 2:14:09
  Speaker 1: go watch it. Jeff Ross, I love you, buddy. Love you, Rob.
• 2:14:12
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Good to see you. Bye, everybody.