Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / COLD CUTS: The Cursed Beans
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: The Wold Aking Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzy.
- 0:04Speaker 1: Tune in week days at four on Radio Holdarkey.
- 0:07Speaker 2: Yes, indeed, Jane's addiction there on the radio hold Akey
- 0:09Speaker 2: Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is four forty
- 0:13Speaker 2: five and Chelly what Fellows? The phone lines are going crazy.
- 0:16Speaker 3: Listen in the yards because we're just in a new
- 0:18Speaker 3: competition where if you hear this sound effect, Yeah, during
- 0:22Speaker 3: a song, you call on Hodaki and if you get
- 0:25Speaker 3: through fifty dollars reburg about your super simple a fellas.
- 0:27Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, great, So let's go to Matt online sex gooday.
- 0:32Speaker 4: Matt, Gooday?
- 0:34Speaker 1: How are you guys?
- 0:36Speaker 4: Okay?
- 0:37Speaker 5: No, no, Jase, yeah, just say you're good? I mean,
- 0:40Speaker 5: why are you saying?
- 0:41Speaker 4: Well?
- 0:42Speaker 3: I mean, fellows, I'm interested. I want to learn more
- 0:46Speaker 3: about you.
- 0:47Speaker 5: Okay, to get to know him. Is it okay if
- 0:49Speaker 5: I ask a question? Jake?
- 0:50Speaker 4: Yeah?
- 0:50Speaker 5: Sure, Okay, Hey, have you got any thoughts on this
- 0:52Speaker 5: razor situation? Mat?
- 0:55Speaker 3: Look, they're good scooters, So Jason, you just do what
- 1:02Speaker 3: you'd usually do here.
- 1:03Speaker 5: Okay, it's not that hard. Jay's. All you're going to
- 1:09Speaker 5: do is just I've never.
- 1:09Speaker 4: Met Matt, for god, I don't know anything about Matt.
- 1:12Speaker 5: Ask him what he does for a crust, Matt.
- 1:16Speaker 4: What do you do for a crust? Mate?
- 1:19Speaker 5: I volunteer as a football coach.
- 1:21Speaker 3: But I'm young enough that I'm still going to UNI,
- 1:23Speaker 3: so I'm working. I'm studying as an anatomy student.
- 1:25Speaker 4: Wrote So Jack, Yeah, that's pretty boring.
- 1:28Speaker 5: You don't. The key is not to abuse the winner.
- 1:31Speaker 4: I'm not abusing. I'm just saying that's tedious.
- 1:33Speaker 5: No, that's kind.
- 1:34Speaker 4: I mean, who does volunteer work? For a start? They
- 1:36Speaker 4: don't pay, ye, what's the point of it? The experience, mate,
- 1:39Speaker 4: the experience?
- 1:40Speaker 5: Yeah, true that Matt. Do you want to give him
- 1:42Speaker 5: a voucher now?
- 1:42Speaker 4: Or I want to know that I do?
- 1:43Speaker 3: Actually, he's literally it's a bread It's the first avenue
- 1:47Speaker 3: competition and you're kind of ruining it. So Matt, congratulations, mate,
- 1:51Speaker 3: you've got yourself a fifty old Reburg about you. Well,
- 1:55Speaker 3: so you just hold the line there and old Pugsill
- 1:57Speaker 3: saw you out, all right? Thank you so appreciate it.
- 1:59Speaker 4: No ways, So that was that was it.
- 2:03Speaker 5: That's yes, that's how radio competitions work. Jason. I've changed
- 2:06Speaker 5: my mind, man, don't into that one. Into the Radio Awards,
- 2:09Speaker 5: all right, yeah, and maybe tomorrow it'll grow as we
- 2:12Speaker 5: go along. I think, yeah, I think the key is
- 2:14Speaker 5: not to quit on day one get no matter how
- 2:18Speaker 5: tid it might be.
- 2:19Speaker 2: I just feel like it's the worst radio I've ever done.
- 2:22Speaker 2: And I I just I don't know that I'm into this, Fellas.
- 2:26Speaker 4: Pugs, can you not give that to Matt Please?
- 2:29Speaker 3: No, it's too late, he's already giving it to him. Pugs,
- 2:31Speaker 3: give it to him, Piggy, pardon what.
- 2:34Speaker 1: The Hurdarchy Big Show week days from four on Radio
- 2:38Speaker 1: hod Iky.
- 2:38Speaker 2: The Pixie's here on the Radio Hodarchy Big Show this
- 2:41Speaker 2: Tuesday evening, Fellas, I didn't tell you this.
- 2:44Speaker 4: I'm going to tell you now.
- 2:49Speaker 2: Last night going to bed, right, and I was sitting
- 2:53Speaker 2: on the edge of the bed there and I took
- 2:55Speaker 2: my shoes off, and I actually had my shoes already off.
- 2:57Speaker 4: I just have my socks on.
- 3:00Speaker 5: Your wife's because you had a habit of wearing your
- 3:01Speaker 5: wife socks.
- 3:02Speaker 4: Yes, they were actually good, the prawns.
- 3:05Speaker 5: What was your wife wearing socks?
- 3:07Speaker 4: Wise, she'd taken hers off. She was already in bed.
- 3:11Speaker 4: And the nigla she.
- 3:13Speaker 5: Got a negli j Yeah, she does what is an
- 3:16Speaker 5: I have heard that before? Is that like a ninety
- 3:18Speaker 5: years off to the Sasin or a silk sort of thing,
- 3:20Speaker 5: or a Jason's case. It's ray On.
- 3:25Speaker 4: And so what's so?
- 3:27Speaker 2: I took my socks off and then I took my
- 3:30Speaker 2: pants off, and I was sitting there.
- 3:32Speaker 3: And of course that's smart because you don't want to
- 3:33Speaker 3: take your pants off and then get the socks caught
- 3:35Speaker 3: in there.
- 3:35Speaker 4: Yeah, totally man.
- 3:36Speaker 2: And of course you guys will recall that I was
- 3:39Speaker 2: wearing my boat shirt yesterday.
- 3:41Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right, and I un did a button.
- 3:44Speaker 5: Wait you take your pants off first, yeah?
- 3:46Speaker 4: Yeah, God, so for a bit there.
- 3:48Speaker 5: You're donald ducking You've just got the shirt on.
- 3:50Speaker 2: I undid my button and I was pulling it over
- 3:52Speaker 2: the top of my head.
- 3:53Speaker 5: Hang on a minute, this is a shirt. Yes, it's
- 3:55Speaker 5: a shirt, buttons all the way down. Yeah. Yeah, you
- 3:58Speaker 5: take one off and then take it over the top, Yes.
- 4:04Speaker 4: Disgusted on Mogi's head.
- 4:07Speaker 3: Keep in mind he's got nothing on the bottom of Well,
- 4:10Speaker 3: I got yes.
- 4:10Speaker 4: On, Keezy.
- 4:13Speaker 2: So I'm pulling it over the top the in Mogi,
- 4:15Speaker 2: and what should happen?
- 4:17Speaker 5: You tripped over?
- 4:20Speaker 2: There was a rap and I was like, oh my god,
- 4:22Speaker 2: and my wife said, all that didn't sound good, and
- 4:24Speaker 2: this is my boat shoot we're talking about. So I
- 4:27Speaker 2: took it off and I looked at and there was
- 4:28Speaker 2: a little tear in the shoulder there. And I said
- 4:31Speaker 2: to my wife, because she can, she sews, she's a
- 4:35Speaker 2: couple of sewing machines. She's into his sewing.
- 4:37Speaker 5: Oh yeah, you see you throw it in her face
- 4:38Speaker 5: and said sort that out, will you tell? Get out
- 4:41Speaker 5: of bed?
- 4:41Speaker 4: Sort of what I said to him.
- 4:43Speaker 2: What I said to her was you'll be able to
- 4:46Speaker 2: fix that, won't you. And to my horror and my shock,
- 4:49Speaker 2: she went, oh, no, I don't think so, it's probably
- 4:53Speaker 2: had it.
- 4:54Speaker 5: And I was like, and it's only it was only
- 4:56Speaker 5: about what's happening, can't you?
- 4:59Speaker 4: Was it on a scene, It was in a seament.
- 5:02Speaker 4: It was only about two centimeters, very fixable.
- 5:04Speaker 2: And I went, well, what do you mean it's probably
- 5:07Speaker 2: time to toss it and she said, ah, it's probably
- 5:10Speaker 2: got quite worn and thin there. That's actually why it rapped,
- 5:12Speaker 2: so it's probably not worth actually fixing. It.
- 5:14Speaker 5: Doesn't feel like she thinks that the boat shirt's probably
- 5:17Speaker 5: not anymore. It needs to go, especially when you've been
- 5:19Speaker 5: wearing it with prawn socks.
- 5:21Speaker 4: Well, I hate to think that.
- 5:23Speaker 5: Did you have your fishing rod under his line?
- 5:25Speaker 2: I would hate to think that of my wife, Mogi.
- 5:28Speaker 2: But that was the vibe I god, was that she
- 5:31Speaker 2: was in a very convoluted way saying the boat shirt
- 5:37Speaker 2: needs to go.
- 5:38Speaker 4: Yeah, and I was gutted. Do you think your wife
- 5:40Speaker 4: would fix it easy? She's pretty handy with that sort
- 5:44Speaker 4: of stuff, isn't she.
- 5:45Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 5:46Speaker 3: Yeah, it's pretty fiddly work though, because it's so tiny. Yeah,
- 5:49Speaker 3: it's like trying to patch up like a little shirt
- 5:51Speaker 3: and a Teddy beer or an action man.
- 5:54Speaker 5: It's pretty specialized stuff. Jason. Why do you automatically assume
- 5:57Speaker 5: that another woman will know.
- 5:58Speaker 4: How to do it? That's my quick Yeah. That was
- 6:01Speaker 4: pretty bad of me, wasn't it. Well? I mean, can
- 6:04Speaker 4: you can you? Can you patch something up?
- 6:06Speaker 5: Mogi?
- 6:09Speaker 1: Yeah?
- 6:09Speaker 4: Patch your upper.
- 6:10Speaker 5: I'll be honest with you. I just throw things out. Look,
- 6:13Speaker 5: I hate to go back to the thing about you.
- 6:15Speaker 5: I'mdoing one button and then taking the shoot off over
- 6:17Speaker 5: your head. That's the issue, that's the reason, that's the
- 6:20Speaker 5: real problem here. That's I find out you're doing that
- 6:22Speaker 5: with your lemon shit.
- 6:24Speaker 4: Well, look, there's so much Edmund, there's like eight buttons
- 6:27Speaker 4: on the basket.
- 6:28Speaker 5: I just don't have enough time with the I.
- 6:30Speaker 2: Mean it's not a sexual you know, hey baby, and
- 6:33Speaker 2: slowly it's just I'm going to bed and even get
- 6:35Speaker 2: my top off.
- 6:36Speaker 4: Yeah, so just undo the top up there.
- 6:39Speaker 1: And the hurd Archy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Keyzy.
- 6:46Speaker 1: Tune in week days at four on Radio Hodarchy.
- 6:49Speaker 2: Timple of the Dog there on the Radio Hodarchy Big
- 6:51Speaker 2: Show this Wednesday afternoon. Now, Fellers, you know, we have
- 6:56Speaker 2: just come back from holidays, and as you mentioned yesterday,
- 6:59Speaker 2: I think, you know, being together with family and friends
- 7:02Speaker 2: sometimes can be a bit stressful. So I'm thinking there
- 7:05Speaker 2: might be a few folk out there that are a
- 7:06Speaker 2: bit stressed out and need a bit of advice.
- 7:15Speaker 3: At gmail dot com get in touch with the failers.
- 7:19Speaker 3: It's a really email address. Meet Patti Nips sixty nine
- 7:23Speaker 3: at gmail dot com. If you need advice on anything,
- 7:24Speaker 3: it's one hundred percent anonymous. We'll read it on the show,
- 7:26Speaker 3: and if we do, you're get a fifty dollars Reburg
- 7:29Speaker 3: about chip.
- 7:30Speaker 5: This one comes from anonymous Fellers.
- 7:31Speaker 3: Oh good, a feelers Anonymous here I recently inherited a cat,
- 7:37Speaker 3: Mini from my ex partner. Every day Mini finds one
- 7:42Speaker 3: or two skinks in the garden and brings them inside
- 7:45Speaker 3: the house. Sometimes I don't find them for days. When
- 7:47Speaker 3: I eventually do find the skinks, they're usually heavily injured,
- 7:51Speaker 3: if not already dead, so when I released them, I
- 7:53Speaker 3: don't have high hopes for their survival.
- 7:55Speaker 4: No.
- 7:56Speaker 3: I have recently discovered that this particular species of skink
- 7:59Speaker 3: is native to New Zealand and protected under the Wildlife
- 8:02Speaker 3: Act nineteen fifty three. I am worried I am now
- 8:06Speaker 3: in violation of the law by allowing her to continue
- 8:08Speaker 3: her rampage. She's a tough little bastard and is pretty
- 8:12Speaker 3: unfazed when I yell at her to try get the
- 8:14Speaker 3: message across.
- 8:15Speaker 5: What should I do?
- 8:15Speaker 4: Fellas Fellers, can I tell you a true story?
- 8:19Speaker 2: Fell first and foremost, Jizz is a murdering machine on
- 8:25Speaker 2: the skinks.
- 8:25Speaker 4: So your new cat, our new cat.
- 8:27Speaker 2: There are thousands of the bastards around our house, but
- 8:31Speaker 2: this is this is a tear and we generally I
- 8:33Speaker 2: am able to catch them and set them free again.
- 8:36Speaker 4: And she just sort of stares at me.
- 8:38Speaker 2: But the other day my wife and I lifted up
- 8:42Speaker 2: a rug in our lounge and can I say there
- 8:47Speaker 2: were three completely flattened dead.
- 8:52Speaker 4: Skinks under our rug?
- 8:54Speaker 5: How long would they have been there?
- 8:55Speaker 4: I have no idea.
- 8:56Speaker 2: So maybe they were injured and just you know, scuttled
- 9:00Speaker 2: under the nearest rug. I think so, and then we
- 9:02Speaker 2: just trample all over, but not knowing they're they're They
- 9:05Speaker 2: were literally you know how you used to drive flowers
- 9:07Speaker 2: in a book or something like that.
- 9:08Speaker 4: They were like that. They were pancake thin, and it
- 9:11Speaker 4: was like, how groady is that?
- 9:14Speaker 5: Did they have blood around the moon?
- 9:15Speaker 4: No, there was no gats.
- 9:16Speaker 2: It would completely dehydrated gats and pools probably just absorbed
- 9:21Speaker 2: into a rug.
- 9:22Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, how good is that?
- 9:23Speaker 4: That's so good man?
- 9:25Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean it's tricky as I mean a skink.
- 9:27Speaker 5: Speaking of the Wildlife Fact nineteen fifty three, everything, all animals,
- 9:31Speaker 5: Flora and fluda are protected automatically, so it's not specific
- 9:35Speaker 5: to the skink. I think if you had to go
- 9:37Speaker 5: through the Act and individually select animals that would be
- 9:41Speaker 5: protected animals, a skink wouldn't be protected.
- 9:43Speaker 4: There.
- 9:44Speaker 5: You know, there's thousands of the back, there's billions of
- 9:46Speaker 5: the now they're growing underneath Jasu's rugg and as weund
- 9:50Speaker 5: for God's sake. I mean, that's how many of them
- 9:52Speaker 5: there are?
- 9:52Speaker 2: Can I just tell you I want to get your
- 9:54Speaker 2: guys view on this actually, because my girls are over
- 9:56Speaker 2: in Melbourne now and they're saying that there's do you
- 10:00Speaker 2: call it when you shut?
- 10:02Speaker 4: Cats aren't allowed out after five o thank you?
- 10:08Speaker 2: They genuinely have a curfew and animals are not allowed
- 10:11Speaker 2: out after five o'clock.
- 10:12Speaker 4: How do we feel about.
- 10:13Speaker 5: Because they're out there killing all the birds, et cetera,
- 10:15Speaker 5: et cetera. Exactly, it's tricky, isn't it, because but it's
- 10:17Speaker 5: love killing But sorry, cats love killing birds and other animals.
- 10:21Speaker 5: And how we just stand in their way?
- 10:23Speaker 4: Exactly?
- 10:25Speaker 5: Yes, tricky because it's it's God's will. The cats will
- 10:28Speaker 5: as God's will. Essentially, God is acting through the cat.
- 10:31Speaker 5: And if the cat feels like killing Ty's care skinks.
- 10:36Speaker 5: Who are we to stand in God's way? Can I
- 10:38Speaker 5: say law of the jungle? You can say law of
- 10:41Speaker 5: the jungle.
- 10:41Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying?
- 10:42Speaker 5: Living in the jungle? Man, Wow, you should come to
- 10:45Speaker 5: buy house. The cat is the cats in the jungle.
- 10:47Speaker 5: The cats in the jungle, and I think bringing in
- 10:49Speaker 5: the skinks. It's they're bringing in prizes, aren't they. It's
- 10:52Speaker 5: a gift, thank you, they're showing off. Look how smart
- 10:55Speaker 5: I am and when you you know, I'm not surprised
- 10:59Speaker 5: that the hat is looking at this guy and saying,
- 11:02Speaker 5: what the F's going on here?
- 11:03Speaker 4: Man?
- 11:03Speaker 1: Yeah?
- 11:04Speaker 5: Like, can you imagine if your wife brought you home
- 11:06Speaker 5: a present and then you grabbed the present, threw it
- 11:09Speaker 5: over the balcony, and then shouted at your wife. I mean,
- 11:13Speaker 5: your wife would be filthy about that point.
- 11:16Speaker 3: You took the present and then you put it under
- 11:18Speaker 3: your rug and then stomped on, trampled it flat, and
- 11:21Speaker 3: left it there for like a decade.
- 11:24Speaker 5: So I hope that helps. Yeah, I mean, what's the
- 11:26Speaker 5: advice here? I think you're going to have to have
- 11:29Speaker 5: the cat put down? Ah, well, you know, you you
- 11:33Speaker 5: got a decision to make. If you don't like a
- 11:34Speaker 5: cat being a cat, you're going to be continuously disappointed
- 11:38Speaker 5: because cats have a habit.
- 11:40Speaker 4: Like cat.
- 11:41Speaker 5: So get the cat put down. Jeez, that's shocking from you.
- 11:44Speaker 4: I'm just rephrasing the.
- 11:47Speaker 1: Hold a Big Show with Mike and Kes. Tune in
- 11:50Speaker 1: week days and four on radio.
- 11:52Speaker 2: Hold, I indeed push this Thursday evening, now Fellers. Something
- 11:58Speaker 2: happened to me yesterday morning that disgusted me profoundly. You'll recall,
- 12:04Speaker 2: I think it was a couple of days ago I
- 12:06Speaker 2: was talking about we were talking about baked beans, baked beans,
- 12:08Speaker 2: and I told you what I like to do with
- 12:10Speaker 2: my baked beans.
- 12:11Speaker 4: Cut up some rashes of bacon.
- 12:13Speaker 3: So you've got the rashes there and you make little
- 12:15Speaker 3: yeah like, I dice them up, keeps right, okay.
- 12:17Speaker 4: And then I fry them off from my little pop there.
- 12:20Speaker 2: I put in my baked beans and then I get
- 12:23Speaker 2: it like a half a tablespoon to a sper tablespo
- 12:26Speaker 2: or not tablespoon teaspoon of hot chili oil and sort
- 12:29Speaker 2: of chili grit.
- 12:31Speaker 4: Flakes flakes chili, and I shoved that.
- 12:34Speaker 2: In there and I swirl it around a bit of
- 12:36Speaker 2: crack pepper, two pieces of white bread, too much butter.
- 12:41Speaker 4: And I just pour those over there.
- 12:43Speaker 3: How good is bread, butter and baked beans mixed together?
- 12:48Speaker 3: So good, sodalious.
- 12:49Speaker 4: It's the bomb. And so I yesterday morning, I was like,
- 12:52Speaker 4: I've got to eat. I'm starving.
- 12:53Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'll do my baked bean special, and
- 12:57Speaker 2: I go into the pantry there and I pull out
- 12:59Speaker 2: the baked beans, and to my utter disgust, my wife,
- 13:04Speaker 2: randomly and for no reason whatsoever, had bought Pii Piiri
- 13:09Speaker 2: baked beans.
- 13:11Speaker 5: Yu disgusting. Do you like Pieri pierry stuff? No?
- 13:15Speaker 4: I don't.
- 13:16Speaker 2: And you know, what are we doing tattooing around with
- 13:20Speaker 2: iconic things like your waddies baked beans?
- 13:23Speaker 4: It was a step too far.
- 13:26Speaker 2: So I was so disgusted that I flagged breakfast and
- 13:30Speaker 2: when I'm not eating that crap.
- 13:32Speaker 4: Then we had Nacho's for dinner.
- 13:33Speaker 2: Last night, and you know, I texted my wife and went,
- 13:36Speaker 2: what the hell's this really nice stuff?
- 13:39Speaker 4: Was human?
- 13:40Speaker 5: Asked human? Because she does all the shopping. Ah, that's
- 13:45Speaker 5: one of your rules. That's one of your rules.
- 13:48Speaker 4: And so I texted her and I was human.
- 13:52Speaker 2: And then we had Nacho's last night, and to my
- 13:55Speaker 2: utter disgust, she put the Pieri Piri baked beans in
- 13:59Speaker 2: with for mints.
- 14:01Speaker 5: That sounds delicious and.
- 14:02Speaker 4: It was foul. It was disgusting.
- 14:08Speaker 5: Had you not made it clear?
- 14:10Speaker 2: Well, I've actually pointed out to her. I said, re
- 14:13Speaker 2: the nachos tonight. There's some chili beans in the pantry,
- 14:18Speaker 2: and she took the chili beans to mean the peery
- 14:20Speaker 2: Piri baked beans, and it was so disgusting, not even
- 14:25Speaker 2: she could eat it.
- 14:25Speaker 5: Really she and she's got a massive appetite.
- 14:29Speaker 4: Oh look she is. She loves your food. Make she
- 14:33Speaker 4: cleans her plate every time.
- 14:34Speaker 2: Doesn't I'll give her a massive bowl of delicious Hoidy
- 14:37Speaker 2: j pasta and she's, oh, that's way too much.
- 14:41Speaker 4: She just does it. But what are we doing tattooing
- 14:45Speaker 4: around with iconic brands?
- 14:46Speaker 5: I think they're trying to combine two iconic things, aren't there,
- 14:49Speaker 5: the baked beans with the peery Piri? Two icons there?
- 14:52Speaker 2: Yeah, but I would argue that peery Pierri is a
- 14:54Speaker 2: new phenomenon. I know it's around in the world, but
- 14:58Speaker 2: in New Zealand it's.
- 14:59Speaker 3: Only so you don't like sort of outside stuff coming
- 15:03Speaker 3: into New Zealand and changing our stuff.
- 15:04Speaker 5: Yeah, that's right. It's like you want to keep New
- 15:09Speaker 5: Zealand great. Is that what you're saying?
- 15:11Speaker 2: Man?
- 15:14Speaker 5: Is that what you're saying, Jason, It's like, don't bring
- 15:16Speaker 5: your foreign mark in here, that's what you're saying. He's
- 15:20Speaker 5: with my beans?
- 15:21Speaker 4: Yeah, man, That's what I'm saying.
- 15:23Speaker 1: The hold Aching Big Show with Jason, Mike and Kyzy
- 15:26Speaker 1: Tune in week days at four on Radio hold A
- 15:29Speaker 1: Chi