Latest / Time Billionaires: Mindset and Time Management for Work & Life / How to Feel More Confident in Conversations and Presentations
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker A: Hey there billionaire. Yep, I'm talking to you. If you expect to live another 31 years, you're already a billionaire. Not in money, but in the real measure of wealth, time. That's because 31 years is roughly a billion seconds. But most of us waste time in ways we'd never waste money. The currency of time billionaires is micro moments, the 90 second to 15 minute gaps hidden between the structured parts of your day. This podcast is about reclaiming them with quick, research backed ideas to help you feel more creative, productive and alive. Welcome to Time Billionaires. Let's make your next micro moment count.
- 0:38Speaker B: There's this Haitian proverb that goes behind mountains, there are mountains, which means we're never going to exist in a reality that has no problems. So whatever challenge is in front of us, it's silly to think that this is the only problem we need to solve before all of our problems are easy. And it's kind of empowering because instead of assuming that the challenges in front of us are the biggest ones we'll face, which is pretty daunting and unrealistic, it's actually better to change our mindset of how we assume and approach them all together. Instead of assuming the challenges we're facing are the ones that we have to focus on and solve to get to some place that doesn't have any, we can assume there is a solution to whatever challenge is in front of me and I can either find it or create it. And that's fundamentally empowering, as opposed to just hoping and wishing that if we grind through whatever we're facing, we'll eventually not have any more problems.
- 1:29Speaker A: And.
- 1:30Speaker B: And I think it's interesting that this same philosophy of how our assumption shapes our reality also applies to people and how we interact with other people. Some people even say that all of our problems fundamentally come down to interpersonal problems. And I think this is kind of empowering too, because it means that if we go into any assumption, assuming that the people we're interacting with already like us and we're on the same side, we actually have a fundamentally different approach than assuming that our job is to win them over or convince them of something, whether we're in a job interview, you, or on a date, or even just talking with our parents, if we just assume that whoever we're meeting or talking to or working with already likes us and our goal isn't to win them over, but to build a meaningful connection, we can be more of ourselves. And the science actually backs up that things change biochemically in our body when we have a slight difference in this assumption in our perspective, if we assume that we need to win someone over, we're coming from a place of deficit and of a vertical relationship that doesn't place us as equals. So this hierarchy is actually an impediment to being ourselves and building the connection that we want. So instead of assuming that for your next speech or presentation or job interview or date or conversation with somebody you know, but have some tension with that, your job is to either convince them or win them over. If you just assume that they already like you, they're already on your side, we will see that your blood pressure should drop, your heart rate should slow, you should be more focused, and your mind should be more open and primed to creativity, which is the prerequisite for building good connection anyway. So you might even notice, too, that your shoulders may relax, your thinking may feel clear, your breathing may slow, and that shifts you out of this fight or flight of feeling like you're at a deficit to this very calm, natural, genuine state of thinking that you have something unique to offer, and your goal is to build connection with somebody who wants the same thing, which is probably true. So whether we're dealing with problems that are in front of us or interpersonal relationships that can feel challenging or sticky for any number of reasons, the assumption really matters, and it actually changes how we approach things. So if you think about either a challenge you're facing or a situation that either makes you nervous or you want to improve, think about your assumption to it. What if you were to assume the solution's right in front of me and I can find it, or this problem has a solution, or this person already likes me? How would that change how you approach it? And if that doesn't unlock it, you can ask yourself, what if I assumed there was a solution? What would I do then? That may be the start of several solutions you come up with to keep compounding your resilience in the face of obstacles, which we'll always face. There'll never be a reality that we don't have problems or we don't have some kind of interpersonal dynamic that we want to improve. And starting from a place of resilience and assuming the best, assuming the solution's in front of you, that the person already likes you, that there's already a good path forward, can help you find the very first step on that path. If you just go looking for it. Love to hear what you think if you give it a chance. And if that fails, you could always do the old tried and true protagonist test. If this challenge or dynamic was in front of somebody in a book, how would I want them to respond? Or what would I want them to do next? That might just reveal what you can do.
- 4:51Speaker A: Thanks for spending this micro moment with me. If you found it valuable, share it with a fellow time billionaire and give us a rating to help others discover the power of micro moments. For more ways to reclaim your time, check out timebillionaires.org and follow me. Rebecca Shattucks on LinkedIn. See you next time.