Latest / IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective / Raising Teens in the Age of AI: Friend or Foe?

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Raising Teens in the Age of AI: Friend or Foe? · IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

• 0:00
  Ben: I'm Ben Pugh and you're listening to IMPACT! Parenting with Perspective.
• 0:06
  Ben: This podcast is all about helping parents manage the mental and emotional drama that comes with parenting teens so they can focus on what's most important.
• 0:17
  Ben: Building rock solid relationships and having a powerful impact on their teen's life.
• 0:22
  Ben: Join me each week as I dive into real tools to help you and your teen turn struggles into strengths.
• 0:32
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Hello everyone.
• 0:33
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Welcome back to the podcast.
• 0:37
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Cortni is back alongside I love having you here.
• 0:40
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Those of you that this is your first time listening, thank you for listening.
• 0:44
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: This is kind of your go-to podcast where we talk about all things parenting, teens.
• 0:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I just did an episode specifically about AI and how we need to teach our teens how to use it responsibly.
• 1:01
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Effectively and safely.
• 1:03
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And leading up to today's conversation, Cortni and I have been talking about AI again, and I think we're gonna get a slightly different view today.
• 1:12
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So guys, buckle up.
• 1:15
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: We're talking about AI and you and your teen and everything in between.
• 1:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Okay?
• 1:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Maybe not that, but hey, I'm trying to come up with something catchy.
• 1:25
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Cortni?
• 1:25
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Okay.
• 1:26
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Great.
• 1:27
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Cortni, I'm curious.
• 1:29
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I.
• 1:30
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: How would you describe my stance on AI versus your stance on ai?
• 1:36
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I mean, I don't think they're too far off.
• 1:38
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I think you just, you utilize it more or differently than I do.
• 1:44
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: but I don't think it's wrong.
• 1:47
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I don't know.
• 1:47
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: How do you feel?
• 1:49
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: You must think there's a difference.
• 1:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: A slight difference.
• 1:53
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Only because every time I mention about going to Chad GPT, you laugh, you snicker, you ask if I've given Chad GPT its own name yet, like Howard, or oh, what?
• 2:11
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Wait, what is Tony Starks?
• 2:15
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Ai.
• 2:15
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: First one is Jarvis.
• 2:18
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Okay, that's Tony Starks.
• 2:20
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: What is Spider-Man's AI in the new movie or the newest Spider-Man with Tom Holland?
• 2:29
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I can't remember.
• 2:32
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Let me ask ai.
• 2:33
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Hold on.
• 2:34
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Oh, wow.
• 2:36
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: wait.
• 2:37
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: The most well known AI associated with Spider-Man is Karen.
• 2:40
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Oh, Terran.
• 2:41
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Oh.
• 2:41
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: built into suit, into the suit, designed for Peter Parker by Tony Stark.
• 2:46
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Karen.
• 2:47
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Karen.
• 2:47
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah, which can I just say that I feel bad for all the Karens out there that like, seriously legitimately, I don't think you should ever use someone's name as like a put down because there's decent people with the name of Karen out there that.
• 3:09
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I have to deal with being called a Karen, and I think that's really unfortunate.
• 3:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So if your name is Karen, I feel for you and I think you're awesome.
• 3:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I don't judge you based on some dumb stereotype based on some person's name.
• 3:28
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: But are they using a Karen as a noun?
• 3:31
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Right?
• 3:31
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Isn't a noun or descriptive'cause a verb is an action, or is it the other way around?
• 3:35
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Adjective is the descriptive thing.
• 3:38
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So now it would be like a girl saying, yeah, but she's a Karen.
• 3:43
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Oh geez.
• 3:44
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I can all be that.
• 3:45
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I know it's been a long time since I taught English.
• 3:50
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: The other difference though, between you and I and ai, I feel like it's like one of my first go-tos.
• 3:59
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I wouldn't guess that it's one of your first go-tos for answers.
• 4:06
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: No.
• 4:08
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like just yesterday, my wife and I were talking about gardening and my mother-in-law has a bunch of raspberries and I'm like, and so raspberries spread underneath the ground and she has some raspberries growing under their trampoline.
• 4:25
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That is.
• 4:26
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Dug into a hole.
• 4:27
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So the trampoline is level with the ground.
• 4:30
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like no one's gonna go down there and pick the raspberries.
• 4:32
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I'm like, why don't we dig those up and plant'em at our house?
• 4:36
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And Deb was like, well.
• 4:40
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Can we?
• 4:41
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Or like, is it too, I don't know what she asked.
• 4:43
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So I just asked AI and AI's like, yeah, mid-June isn't too late to transplant raspberry, so probably wanna do it in the morning or in the evening because it's super hot.
• 4:56
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And it's like, would you like a step by step guide on how to do that?
• 4:59
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I was like, AI is like the most helpful thing.
• 5:03
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Everything or ever.
• 5:05
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So.
• 5:06
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Do you always go to chat GBT?
• 5:07
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Because I Google a lot of things and I think Google kind of, it breaks it down.
• 5:11
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: It pulls from AI first, but I ask a lot of questions on Google.
• 5:15
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I.
• 5:15
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah, I think people that are reluctant to ai, a lot of them don't realize that Google has been a form of AI for a long time, and Google and AI work hand in hand.
• 5:30
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: The thing I like about chat, GPT is the more conversation style.
• 5:35
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Whereas Google, I type in a question and it's like, here's a bunch of broad information.
• 5:42
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 5:43
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Here's how cool chat GPT is in this raspberry conversation.
• 5:50
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Part of the reason.
• 5:53
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That it knew how to answer me, is that it?
• 5:56
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I've talked about plants in the past, and so it is talking about mid-June transplanting, and at one point it's like, well, here's the zone that you're in and being in that part of Utah this time of year, here's what the temperature, so it's a better tool than Google.
• 6:15
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Because it knows more and is giving you more specific answers tailored to you.
• 6:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Does that make sense?
• 6:22
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Whatcha grinning about?
• 6:23
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: make sense.
• 6:24
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I'm just smiling, listening to you educate.
• 6:27
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I'm not, don't take offense to my smile.
• 6:30
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And here's the thing, guys.
• 6:31
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I'm not even like super techie or nerdy.
• 6:34
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That's usually my wife.
• 6:36
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I feel like AI is helping me level the playing field
• 6:41
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Hmm.
• 6:42
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: so I can hang with all the nerdy people Now.
• 6:47
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: All right.
• 6:49
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So let's go this route.
• 6:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I have concerns about ai, like people will hear me talk about AI and they think Ben is drunk for Kool-Aid.
• 6:59
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: He's all in.
• 7:00
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I do have concerns.
• 7:01
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I'm curious, what are some of your concerns when it comes to ai?
• 7:07
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Honestly, I haven't really given it much thought.
• 7:08
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I'm not.
• 7:09
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Concerned.
• 7:10
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Like I said before we started reporting.
• 7:12
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I think there's a lot of other things we should be concerned about before we should be worried about ai.
• 7:17
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: think there's, I don't know,
• 7:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: At one point,
• 7:22
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: sound kind of kooky, but I feel like it's, our phones and devices are already listening.
• 7:26
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: They know I feel like based on conversations I've had, the next thing I know, like there's ads that are popping up with like a school I was just talking about, or I feel like it's always listening anyway, so.
• 7:37
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: actually, you're supposed to wear a tinfoil hat to prevent that.
• 7:40
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Oh, okay.
• 7:42
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That I wear out in public?
• 7:43
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: No, just trying.
• 7:44
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Send me a picture of what yours looks like.
• 7:47
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: here you said though, maybe you said it was AI and social media is taking away people's ability to critically think.
• 7:58
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Yeah, people jump to, I mean, I, just aren't good at problem solving anymore.
• 8:04
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: And critical thinking skills have just kind of gone out the window.
• 8:07
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: And imagination.
• 8:09
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: telling my oldest yesterday, like when you were younger, you played by yourself.
• 8:13
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Like it was nothing.
• 8:14
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Like you were a great little kid, you had an imagination.
• 8:17
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: His siblings like, they need interaction, they can't play by themselves.
• 8:22
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: You know, their imagination isn't as great.
• 8:24
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: And they were born into a, the time where iPads were already a thing, William.
• 8:31
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: They, he didn't have devices until he was probably like eight, and then it was a iPod touch.
• 8:37
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah.
• 8:38
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah, that's a good point.
• 8:40
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I, I think that lack of creativity is real.
• 8:45
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 8:45
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: One of the concepts that I teach often is this idea of resources versus resourcefulness, and I feel like most people.
• 8:59
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Overly focus on the resources, like how much money do I have?
• 9:04
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: What assets do I have?
• 9:05
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: What tools do I have at my disposal?
• 9:08
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Whereas resourcefulness, I don't know, this'll kinda date me a little bit.
• 9:13
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Do you remember MacGyver?
• 9:16
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Yes, I do.
• 9:17
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: MacGyver was freaking awesome.
• 9:19
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 9:20
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: was the most resourceful person ever.
• 9:23
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It didn't matter what he had, like he has a verb.
• 9:28
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Now that we're getting into parts of speech again named after him, like, oh, I can MacGyver that.
• 9:34
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like that was resourcefulness.
• 9:38
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I think resourcefulness and creativity go hand in hand.
• 9:42
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 9:43
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I think that we live in a generation where we have more resources than any other generation at any point.
• 9:54
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: In our known history, like we have more resources, chat, GPT, iPads, iPhones, whatever.
• 10:03
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: They are all resources.
• 10:05
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And my concern is that our over focus on the resources at our disposal is taking away from our skill of being resourceful and creative.
• 10:18
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I think that's kinda the same path that you're going down.
• 10:21
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Yeah, absolutely.
• 10:23
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I'd say also the modern day MacGyver is Marty Rainey.
• 10:26
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Do you know who that is?
• 10:28
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: No.
• 10:28
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Who's Marty?
• 10:29
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: goodness.
• 10:31
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Rescue is his show.
• 10:33
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: He's a older guy.
• 10:34
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: He always wears his white shirt halfway unbuttoned.
• 10:36
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: He has Misty and Matt has two kids, but they go to all these homesteads and they help these struggling homesteads it's just amazing the things that this man thinks of and can accomplish.
• 10:48
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Just he's resourceful, like he just is amazing.
• 10:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I am gonna have to
• 10:52
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: was off track, but
• 10:53
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: No, that's perfect.
• 10:55
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: One of my kids' favorite YouTube channels to watch.
• 10:59
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I think it was called The Outdoor Boys.
• 11:02
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Have you ever seen that?
• 11:03
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I haven't.
• 11:04
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: The guy just paused it, but it's this guy who, he'll go live in the outdoors for a few days and he'll show how he builds like, like he'll go to Alaska in the middle of the winter and build a hot and like, it's really cool.
• 11:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: The problem is.
• 11:23
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like even that Marty Rainey and this Outdoor Boys, it's an example of people losing their creativity and their resourcefulness because they're seeking out the entertainment and focusing on that resource.
• 11:38
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And that's where before Cortni and I hit record, like I was talking about, I think it could be good for us as a nation to have something.
• 11:52
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I, people aren't gonna push back on this, but like y'all remember COVID, when we all had to stay home with our families, not go out, I felt like that was actually really good for my family and for a lot of the families that I worked with.
• 12:06
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: They, they were able to reset their focus and focus on the family.
• 12:10
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Again, I think it was extremely inconvenient.
• 12:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And painful, and I don't wanna be insensitive.
• 12:19
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I know people died from COVID, but there were still opportunities for growth and connection that we had been missing previously.
• 12:31
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I feel like post c.
• 12:35
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It is kind of this battle, like how do we keep hanging onto the family time and the priority when the world's trying to get back to normal?
• 12:44
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And it would be easy to just slip right back into the overbooked, overscheduled, run, run, run, busy mode.
• 12:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I would actually love for something to happen, and this would be terribly bad for business, but if something would happen technology wise.
• 13:02
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That kind of helped us reevaluate our priorities and reset and move forward more intentionally.
• 13:12
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I don't know what that would be, but that'd be cool.
• 13:16
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Yeah, or it could be a conscious choice that we make.
• 13:19
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Like I was telling you, I personally try to not spend much time on social media.
• 13:24
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah.
• 13:25
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: once a week I'll get on, like I probably spend no more than 30 minutes on social media a week just because it is a rabbit hole and it knows what I like to watch or what I think is funny and I don't have that time to waste.
• 13:38
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Maybe we can intentionally and consciously choose to not.
• 13:42
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Be on devices or like I was saying, have a conversation with Deb instead of you're Karen or something.
• 13:48
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: You know, like we can choose to engage and I feel like us being the example for our kids, I don't know, then maybe we'd invite them to come play a board game instead of, you know, everyone just going their separate ways and,
• 14:01
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: On their separate devices.
• 14:03
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: yeah,
• 14:04
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah, that's a good point.
• 14:07
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: This Sunday we are going up into the mountains and, For me, part of the fun is cell phones are not gonna work up there, and there's gonna be me, my parents, my siblings, a bunch of the nieces and nephews will be there.
• 14:28
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I, I feel like we need to be more intentional in creating time and space for those type of things where at that point.
• 14:40
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: You have to disconnect.
• 14:42
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like you can have your phone up there, but you're not gonna have data.
• 14:47
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: You're not gonna have access to Facebook or Instagram or any of that.
• 14:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And it's funny, my kids are reluctant to going because they don't want to detach from those things,
• 14:59
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 14:59
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: as a dad, I'm like, well, that's one of the reasons I like to take my kids river rafting.
• 15:05
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It's like you can bring your phone.
• 15:09
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: But it'll probably get ruined and I'm not gonna buy you a new one.
• 15:12
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So they're making the choice on their own.
• 15:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Well, I'm not gonna bring my phone.
• 15:18
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And that's empowering.
• 15:20
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So one of the things that I would say, so if you guys have been listening to me for very long, you know that I enjoy ai.
• 15:29
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I.
• 15:31
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Maybe less of a fan of social media than I am ai.
• 15:35
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I see the real value of ai, like it can help you do things.
• 15:41
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Just the other day, it helped me fix my son's Jeep where we could not find a specific YouTube video addressing the specific make model and part that we needed help with.
• 15:54
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: There were videos for newer models.
• 15:57
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And none of it was exactly right and chat GPT, I've already deleted this conversation or outside like show you the real conversation.
• 16:05
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: But basically it was like, oh yeah, that is a hard year because there's not much information on it.
• 16:11
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Here's what you need to know.
• 16:14
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I was like, dang, that was awesome.
• 16:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I feel like social media is specifically designed to move you from a conscious state to a subconscious.
• 16:27
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It's almost like you're hypnotized and scrolling and just allowing all of this information.
• 16:36
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: To go straight to your subconscious, which is what they want, so that they can feed you advertisements that are hit.
• 16:45
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like guys, I'm in advertising, like I have to be good at advertising.
• 16:50
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I know the value of speaking straight to someone's subconscious, but the problem with social media.
• 16:58
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: You're basically putting yourself into a hypnotic trance, which we have studies to prove that when you watch tv, your brain levels go into a hypnotic trance.
• 17:11
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Social media is the same thing, but it's more heavily ad-driven than even TV is.
• 17:18
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So that's one of my.
• 17:20
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: sorry.
• 17:21
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I feel like on my Facebook feed'cause I'm old and I like Facebook over Instagram and all that other stuff it's more ads than it is even my personal friends, like their information, their posts, whatever, it's all reels and stuff.
• 17:35
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah.
• 17:36
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yep.
• 17:36
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: It used to be our friends' posts.
• 17:39
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: We'd see what was going on in their life.
• 17:40
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Now you almost have to like go to their page and see what's going on.
• 17:43
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah, I notice that during graduation I'm trying to be on social media less so I.
• 17:53
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I don't even think I really posted much about my son graduating or anything, but it was interesting.
• 17:58
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I knew when graduation was, and I happened to hop on social media like a week and a half later, and then I'm seeing these people's posts and I'm like, he.
• 18:12
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I dunno.
• 18:12
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It just felt like, oh, I didn't see those the week of graduation.
• 18:18
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Why am I seeing'em late?
• 18:19
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Because they have so much content they're trying to give you intermixed with your friends that you don't see it in real time.
• 18:26
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 18:27
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So, Cortni, I wanna ask you this.
• 18:30
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: What can we do as parents?
• 18:32
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Our kids are being raised in a generation that has AI and it has social media.
• 18:39
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: What could we do as parents to help support our teens?
• 18:44
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Be the change we want to I don't know.
• 18:47
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I think lead by example, if we can disconnect from, from our devices once in a while, I.
• 18:54
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: It would be beneficial.
• 18:55
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: It's hard because like I was thinking a few days ago when we used to have to do a report or a paper for school, we'd have to go to the library and flip through the card catalog and we'd have to keep a list of our references.
• 19:06
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Like I remember, I, it's, I kind of enjoyed that, like doing the research and doing the work.
• 19:12
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Now everything is so readily accessible.
• 19:15
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: And so they just don't have to work as hard, I'd say.
• 19:20
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I don't know.
• 19:23
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I don't know.
• 19:24
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Okay.
• 19:24
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Two things.
• 19:25
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Number one, I can get on board with being the change.
• 19:29
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: One of the things that I hear from teens all the time.
• 19:33
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Parents all the time want me to coach teens on their cell phone usage and their screen time.
• 19:39
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I can't tell you how many times a teen has told me my parents are on their phone twice as much as I am
• 19:46
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 19:47
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: have you can be the change.
• 19:49
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I've been guilty of this before, like I got after my, one of my sons for bringing the phone into the bathroom.
• 19:57
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: He is like, bruh.
• 19:59
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: You do the same thing.
• 20:01
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I'm like, yeah, but I'm an adult.
• 20:03
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I clean my phone, I wash my hand like, and he is like, I'll quit bringing my phone to the bathroom if you do.
• 20:11
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And that's hard to remember sometimes.
• 20:13
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 20:15
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: be the change.
• 20:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: One of the things that I think is important about that, if you try being more aware and intentional when it comes to your screen time.
• 20:26
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: You're gonna realize it's harder than you thought it would be.
• 20:29
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like screens have become a part of our life so much that we no longer consciously think about it.
• 20:37
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like how many times have you just opened your phone and you're like on Facebook now, and you're like, wait, that's not why I opened my phone.
• 20:43
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like what was I doing?
• 20:44
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It just has become a subconscious pattern, and if you attempt to be the change.
• 20:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It will help you better appreciate when your teen struggles to make that same change.
• 20:57
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And any awareness is gonna help you better position you to help your teen gain some awareness and really just be the change that you want to see in your teenager.
• 21:09
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: The second point though, you're talking about like studying and resour searching.
• 21:15
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That was all the crap that I hate.
• 21:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I love that chat gpt can do that for me.
• 21:20
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: But that's the resourcefulness.
• 21:21
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: You were talking about resources versus resourcefulness.
• 21:24
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: That's being resourceful.
• 21:26
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I like that.
• 21:28
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Okay.
• 21:29
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: What if I were to tell you, like I let AI help me research things?
• 21:36
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So I'll give you an example.
• 21:37
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: My son was writing a paper about transgender and sports.
• 21:45
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: He's big time into athletics.
• 21:48
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: He is trying to find like articles and things to cite and trying to use Google, and I'm like, dude, just use chat.
• 21:56
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: GPT.
• 21:56
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Say, Hey, can you give me a list of articles and a summary of each of them?
• 22:03
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That way I can read the summary and decide which articles are in line with what I'm working on.
• 22:11
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That way he's not reading a whole article just to be like, what?
• 22:14
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That doesn't even help.
• 22:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah, that's being resourceful.
• 22:17
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Now you're working more effectively.
• 22:20
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like chat.
• 22:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: GPT could be like, oh, based on what you're trying to write, here's 20 articles with 20 summaries.
• 22:29
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Read through'em and there's a link to each of'em.
• 22:33
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It just makes your life so much faster.
• 22:36
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: yes, exactly faster.
• 22:37
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Because you're using your resources, you're using it wisely.
• 22:41
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I agree.
• 22:42
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: But yes, I still don't know if that's resourcefulness.
• 22:47
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Now as a writer, like I can spend more time on doing what I'm good at, which is writing rather than spending time doing the thing that I hate, which is researching.
• 23:01
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Okay.
• 23:02
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: See if you and I would've been a duo, the dynamic duo like that, Batman and Robin, if we'd have been like this in high school.
• 23:10
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Which you probably would not have wanted to hang out with me at all in high school.
• 23:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I was lame anyways.
• 23:20
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I would've done the writing part.
• 23:22
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I was a pretty darn good writer.
• 23:24
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: You could have gone to the library, done all the boring like, like do you remember having to use like the three by five cards that you'd have to like write down the title where you found it in the library?
• 23:37
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: references and the card catalog, that's what I'm talking about.
• 23:40
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah, I want nothing to do with that.
• 23:44
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: See, that's your zone of genius.
• 23:45
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: My zone of genius is like, oh, I'll read those two or three good articles and I can write something based on that.
• 23:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: But I don't wanna sift through a thousand articles just to find three.
• 23:55
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Okay.
• 23:56
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Maybe a thousand is a little exaggerator, but, but
• 23:59
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Yeah, maybe a little.
• 24:02
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: well.
• 24:04
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Out curiosity, and we don't have a lot of time.
• 24:07
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I did this to protect you.
• 24:09
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: What are some of the things that you think that we should be more concerned about over AI and social media?
• 24:18
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I know it's a trap.
• 24:20
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It is a trap.
• 24:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Sorry, we're not gonna have time to talk about all of'em.
• 24:26
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I'm just curious what your thoughts are.
• 24:29
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I mean, one thing that I'm concerned about, and it goes along with like social media and the algorithms, is once you start liking things, it's gonna continue to feed.
• 24:39
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: You things that are similar.
• 24:43
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: and so then you just kind of stay on this one track path.
• 24:46
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: And that's what I, another thing I'm talking about, like we don't use our critical thinking skills.
• 24:51
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Like, well, we were told this, so it couldn't possibly be the other way.
• 24:56
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I don't know.
• 24:57
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I just, I don't know.
• 24:59
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I could see that being a really big problem in like politics, specifically, like having a newsfeed that only shows you one view.
• 25:11
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I.
• 25:11
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Rather than kind of a broader, well, here's how one side perceives it, here's how the other I'll tell you.
• 25:18
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So I feel like currently I'm curating my social media and I am trying to purge it of most things.
• 25:28
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Politics.
• 25:30
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 25:31
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I have a few friends that are on like their third or fourth, 30 day s.
• 25:37
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I know when that 30 day snooze is over because there they are back of my feed talking about politics and I'm like, I don't care.
• 25:46
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And it is like one side or the other, but here's how I'm trying to curate my social media.
• 25:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: There are good resources when it comes to spirituality and the weird woo stuff that I'm into, like I love.
• 26:01
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Getting a little video on my feed.
• 26:03
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That's like talking about the law of attraction or your emotional state and raising your vibration, like I love that type of stuff.
• 26:13
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Also, Steve Harvey is taking over my newsfeed.
• 26:17
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: He does these little inspirational talks after his shows.
• 26:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I love those things and there's like people in the background like sweeping up and cleaning up the show, and he is still talking to the audience about business, about mental and emotional health, about faith, and so I feel like I'm working on being more intentional with how much time I spend, but I'm also being more intentional about what I will allow.
• 26:47
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: To take up my attention.
• 26:50
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 26:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: so when things like, if you, if you want social media to be your source for like political news, great.
• 27:00
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That's awesome for you.
• 27:01
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I happen to want it to be the thing that connects me with other people who are doing work on.
• 27:08
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Spirituality at a deep level who love life coaching and motivation and business.
• 27:15
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And so I feel like I like the algorithms that are able to be like, oh, Ben is this weird combination of liking football, the woo business and motivation.
• 27:28
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Let's show'em that stuff.
• 27:30
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And then it's up to me to be intentional with my time.
• 27:34
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like, you know what?
• 27:35
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I've got 15 minutes here.
• 27:37
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I don't mind scrolling.
• 27:38
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I'm going to see things that are going to inspire me to be a better dad or a better business person.
• 27:45
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I feel like most people, what they're doing on social media is comparing themselves with other people and getting into drama that leaves them feeling fearful, angry.
• 28:00
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And you have the power to curate your social media to be more of what you want and it's gonna take a little while.
• 28:07
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like some, I have a friend that I talked to the talked about this to recently and he's like, man, Ben, I tried to do what you said.
• 28:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I unfriended a few people and I disliked some videos and like some new videos.
• 28:20
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I'm like, yeah, but how long have you been on Facebook?
• 28:23
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It's been gathering data for 15 years and for me, I've been on this journey for five or so years.
• 28:34
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like it's pretty good.
• 28:36
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: At the only time it shows me political garbage is when some of my friends get into political stuff.
• 28:42
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And it's funny, I have a really good mix of friends, like I feel like I've got people that are extreme on both ends and then in the middle.
• 28:50
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And yet still it's like, oh, Ben, did you see what's happening across the world?
• 28:54
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I'm like, don't want to see that.
• 28:58
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I don't like, I still pay attention to some extent about like social issues, but I don't really want Facebook to provide that in my life.
• 29:08
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I have other resources that do that for me, but.
• 29:13
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Yeah, I mean, well, not just political, but even relationship advice.
• 29:17
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Like everybody has an opinion, right?
• 29:19
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: And there are so many people that are giving their own advice about relationships, like videos of people, YouTubers or social media influencers, like it can just lead you down a path of destruction or set unrealistic expectations for relationships or like, there's.
• 29:36
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: are so many things.
• 29:37
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: That's what I'm saying.
• 29:38
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: We have to use our critical thinking skills.
• 29:40
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: We might be able to pull some good things from some of those things, but you don't.
• 29:46
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: You can pull some good things, but use your critical thinking.
• 29:48
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Be like, well, that may not apply to me, or I might not agree with that.
• 29:52
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Like, don't just absorb everything that you hear, and then that's what you stick to.
• 29:56
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Yeah, and here's how I would say it and maybe put it into my own terms, but like you have inner wisdom and most people are in the habit of looking for external.
• 30:12
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Validation.
• 30:13
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: or external validation, or they're waiting for Superman to come save the day and save them like I liked knowing that I have inner wisdom.
• 30:26
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I like the connections that can happen through social media, like I'm connected with people across the world.
• 30:35
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I like that, but also I have to remind myself like I'm not looking for something externally to come save me.
• 30:43
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I want to deeper connect my inner wisdom, so when I see something, I want to process it on my own and explore how do I feel about that?
• 30:53
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Like even AI and Chat GPT, I feel like I use that as a tool to help me be more me, but I don't ever want that to replace.
• 31:04
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: My inner wisdom and what I teach, like it is fine to tell me how to plant raspberries because I don't really want to tap into my inner wisdom to be like, oh, wait, when should I plant these raspberries?
• 31:17
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: No, AI can just do that for me, and it frees up my brain so that I can tap into my inner wisdom when it comes to things that are more important, like parenting teens, and how do I help more moms get along better with their teens?
• 31:31
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: I
• 31:32
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So.
• 31:32
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: do think AI has a place it.
• 31:36
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Your a ai ha asks you questions like you have conversations, so it can I.
• 31:44
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Cause you to think like it'll ask you a question and you have to think about, well, hmm, yeah, maybe or no, or why one reason over the other.
• 31:51
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: So I do like that about ai.
• 31:53
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: It's not just giving you factual information, it's asking you follow up questions and then going from there.
• 31:59
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I wasn't gonna share this, and I'll be quick because.
• 32:02
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: This episode is getting kinda long.
• 32:05
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I've been reading a book called The Big Leap.
• 32:07
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I talked to Cortni about this earlier and I was afraid to share this with you because I don't want you to replace me with ai, but if you do, it makes sense.
• 32:17
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Anyways, I'm reading this book, it's called The Big Leap.
• 32:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It is super good.
• 32:23
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I read it in less than a week and I was like, man, I wanna read that again.
• 32:29
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: There's questions that they ask in the book and there's invitations that he gives you.
• 32:34
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And I came home and I was telling Deb, I was like, I wish there was a workbook to go with this.
• 32:41
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: There are a couple workbooks that someone has written, I'm sure they used ai and they're just like help me write a workbook and I'll publish it.
• 32:48
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Can all publish it.
• 32:49
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Anyways, I went to AI and I had already asked it a few questions'cause there were things from the book that I couldn't remember and anyways.
• 32:58
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: At one point I was like, Hey, could you put together a workbook based on this?
• 33:04
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: It's like, yeah, definitely.
• 33:06
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And then I was like, can you ask me these certain questions to help me work through the concepts in the book?
• 33:12
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And AI has been a tool to help me go back to things that were in the book, that I'm listening to it while I'm driving.
• 33:22
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I'm not like highlighting an actual book.
• 33:24
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And AI is kind of helping me do that.
• 33:26
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And then coaching me through.
• 33:28
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So, yeah, like everything, it's more important how you use it and like I don't wanna be a teenager that's using AI to hopefully get me out of all possible work.
• 33:44
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I want to use AI to help me tap into me and be the best version of myself.
• 33:50
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: So anyways, anything else you want to add before we sign off?
• 33:58
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: No, that's about it.
• 34:00
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: All right guys, that is our take on AI and social media.
• 34:06
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I really like Cortni's advice.
• 34:07
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: There be the change you wanna see If you're one of those parents that's like, oh, my kid is on their screen time all the time.
• 34:15
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Mm-hmm.
• 34:16
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Look at your screen time data.
• 34:18
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: How long have you been on there?
• 34:19
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And if you want your teen to be on less, start with you start being the change you wanna see and.
• 34:27
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: I always advocate for ai.
• 34:29
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Kids are gonna use it anyways.
• 34:32
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Teach them how to use it responsibly.
• 34:35
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Teach them how to be efficient with it and teach'em how to be safe with ai.
• 34:41
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: And a lot of parents don't even know how to do that, and yet they're afraid of their teens getting in trouble with ai.
• 34:51
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Get like it is part of our world now.
• 34:54
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Understand it.
• 34:55
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Understand how to be safe, be effective, and it can be a tool to help you be more resourceful and otherwise it's going.
• 35:07
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: You're gonna get used by the tool and always tell Chad GPT, thank you.
• 35:12
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: That way when the robots take over, they're nice to us.
• 35:16
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Hmm.
• 35:17
  cortni_1_06-13-2025_113333: Yes.
• 35:18
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Okay, we will see you guys next week.
• 35:21
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Thank you for being here.
• 35:23
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: As always, feel free to text me using text Ben.
• 35:26
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Also if this episode has been helpful, feel free to leave us a review.
• 35:32
  ben_3_06-13-2025_103331: Talk to you guys later.