Latest / Reclaiming Consciousness / Don't Let Them with Robyn & Alyse - Why we named this series Don't Let Them and Making Fun of LinkedIn

Transcript

Don't Let Them with Robyn & Alyse - Why we named this series Don't Let Them and Making Fun of LinkedIn · Reclaiming Consciousness

0:00
SPEAKER_01: I know this industry.
0:01
SPEAKER_01: I know these books.
0:02
SPEAKER_01: And there was a time, probably about five years or so ago, that I started reading this next generation of like the Hay House authors and stuff like that.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: And it's all friggin' recycled bullshit from 20 years ago.
0:14
SPEAKER_01: Like they just take other people's ideas.
0:16
SPEAKER_01: They don't credit the originators' ideas and they just co-op them and make them their own and put them in a book to sell copies and build an audience.
0:25
SPEAKER_01: That I think is the major vibe over on LinkedIn right now, especially among the spiritual entrepreneurs.
0:31
SPEAKER_01: It's like they come into our inboxes, they drop their groups in there, come and join my thing.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: And then nothing ever happens there.
0:38
SPEAKER_01: It's like mysteriously, we just hang out there.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: And it almost felt to me like there was this energy of wanting just to absorb me as another number in her massive following.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: Because it happens on Facebook too, where, you know, maybe you'll accept somebody's friend request or whatever, or maybe not.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: And then you just like receive a DM from somebody.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: And even if they are saying, like, oh, how are you?
1:02
SPEAKER_00: Or they say something like, How's your week going?
1:05
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, why the fuck would I tell you how my week is going?
1:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't know you.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, why are you reaching out to me?
1:11
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is not how we build relationships.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: And the fact that people are like teaching other people to do this, I'm just like, what is happening right now?
1:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, why are we so disconnected from what it actually takes to connect with people?
1:27
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm Elise Bacine, trauma and breathwork expert and creator of the Metamorphosis Method, the only methodology bridging the gap between spiritual healing and clinical trauma work.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: In this podcast, you'll discover my unique perspective on trauma healing and how it is the gateway to fully reclaiming your consciousness.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: You'll hear stories and teachings that expand your mind as you discover how every relationship challenge, business block, or limiting pattern is an invitation to reclaim the parts of your consciousness you unknowingly gave away.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: Get ready to go deep.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
2:19
SPEAKER_00: So this week we have our second episode of Don't Let Them, the monthly series with me and Robin.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: And I love this episode.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: Actually, I'm trying to remember everything that we talked about.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: I know one of them is making fun of LinkedIn, which I have, which I had a lot of fun with.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: And I just love the series because it's just a chance for Robin and I to just talk and be authentic.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of just like a window into the conversations that we have while she's driving to the gym and I'm walking the dog or whatever we're doing.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: And I just love the authenticity, the realness, the not plannedness.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: So I think you're really gonna love this episode.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: And I would love to hear your thoughts if you send me a message on Instagram or send me an email, infoteleasebreeze.com.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear your thoughts on this new series with me and Robin.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: And another quick announcement about the podcast.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: So for the summer, I'm going to be pulling back a little bit just to give myself some breathing room.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: I have a lot of travel happening in July.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: So for July and August, I'm gonna be releasing episodes every other week.
3:33
SPEAKER_00: So just two episodes in July and two episodes in August, just because I have a lot of stuff going on.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm actually leaving for Spain today.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: And then I will be getting back mid next week.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: And then I am traveling a little bit to the Jersey Shore, one of my favorite things to do in the summer.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: I have to be at the beach as much as possible in the summer.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: And then I'm also gonna be teaching at my friend's retreat in Mexico at the end of July.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: So I will be gone last week of July-ish.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: So, and I'm really excited for that.
4:12
SPEAKER_00: So I just wanted to give everyone a heads up around that, that you should just be expecting two episodes in July and two in August, one of which will be Don't Let Them with Elise and Robin.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: So if you have not yet signed up for the private podcast, The Cord Wound Solution, I highly recommend doing so because it really is a great portal into my work.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: If you are just dipping your toe in or just finding me, or still have just been listening to the podcast, yet you're curious about working with me or what my work looks like, the Cordwood Solution is a great place to start.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: And then also obviously the mini morphosis, which is only$33.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: And it gives you the entire process of my inner child healing process, which is the crux of my work.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: And it really is the simplest solution, in my opinion, to moving through trauma and creating real, sustainable, permanent change in your life.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: And the whole basis of it is that you're really just only recreating one pattern in every area of your life.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: And once you're able to see that, it simplifies everything and it teaches you how to navigate through that so that you can create the changes you desire that you've been trying to create for so long much more quickly and easily.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: So if you have any questions about any of that, please reach out to me.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: If you're curious about my work and the best way to start working with me, please reach out.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to chat with you about that on a call.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Also, I'm now enrolling for the next round of the Metamorphosis Method certification, which will start in the fall.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm just blown away at how well the ladies are doing in this round and just some of the wins that they've had and the feedback that they've gotten from the way that they're already able to work with clients.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: We're a little over three months in.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: So a little over halfway done the certification.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: And the ladies are just killing it.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: One of them had her first client session, and she said she was like, wow, I am blown away at the level of expertise that I have only after three months, you know, and I don't know anywhere else where you're going to find a certification program where you're going to be able to feel that way after three months.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: And I think what's really different about my process is I'm not just teaching you information that you have to memorize.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: I guide you through doing your own work and going through your own process so that you are an embodiment of the work and you're able to hold space for clients and you're able to take clients through a transformation that's incredibly deep and meaningful and guide them towards a really powerful and permanent result through breath work, obviously, but also the trauma tools that I teach you and how I teach you how to really hold space as a practitioner.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: I truly believe that in this online coaching space, there's a lot of people who are working with clients, who are, you know, taking people through processes and some of it is good.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: But I think a lot of people just really don't have the training and skillfulness of how to be a practitioner and hold space for clients.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: And that's something that I feel truly passionate about.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: Cause I feel like when you're able to hold a clean and clear, safe space for a client, then you really have that skill.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people don't, no offense to anyone, but it is a skill that's when people are able to open up and get results.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: And I just did a post on this about the space that you hold for a client is actually one of the biggest determining factors in whether or not they'll get a result is the relationship that you create, that you're capable of creating, and the space that you hold and the presence that you hold.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: And that's a skill that people don't just know.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: You have to learn that skill.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: And that is one of the primary things you learn in the certification.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: And that's why my clients have been able to get such powerful results in working with their own clients very quickly.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: Another one of my clients had a recent group ref work session at her house, and she only had 10 spaces available and she actually oversold it.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: She's crushing it.
8:53
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's all part of just the confidence that they have, their level of expertise and authority as practitioners from being in the certification.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: So if that's something that you're interested in, then please reach out to me and we can set up a call to chat about it.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: I will leave it there.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to rate and review the show.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: Send me a screenshot and I will send you a$250 credit to apply to joining anything new in my world.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: Have an amazing weekend.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm sending you all lots of love and please enjoy the episode with me and Robin.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to our second episode of Don't Let Them.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: Don't let them.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: Don't do it.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: Don't let them, Robin.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: Don't.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: So we were kind of going back and forth with some stuff we want to talk about today.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: And we have a few things.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna see how far we get, and then we'll continue the next time because there's so much here.
9:54
SPEAKER_00: But my first thing that I brought up yesterday to Robin was I wanted to address the title of the podcast, right?
10:04
SPEAKER_00: And how we kind of came up with that.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: So for those of you who don't know, which I'm sure everyone kind of gets it at this point, but the title of this new podcast monthly series that we're doing is Don't Let Them.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: And it is a what do you call that?
10:18
SPEAKER_00: Sarcasm?
10:19
SPEAKER_00: What do you call that?
10:21
SPEAKER_00: So sarcasm?
10:22
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: Um making fun of the book Let Them by Mel Robbins.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's like kind of the perfect thing because one of the things that we are doing here is giving our hot takes on some of these like big spiritual things that have become really popular and why we may or may not agree with them.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: And that book was like a big popular thing.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: And I thought don't let them was funny.
10:53
SPEAKER_00: I mean, don't you think it's funny?
10:56
SPEAKER_01: I still would vote for this is why we can't have nice things, however.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it could be a spinoff that we do at some point, but I actually like this.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: And you know, here's the thing for me is that, and I think we were talking about this last time, is that when somebody on the world stage comes out with something like Mel Robbins coming out with her stupid five-second rule or the don't let them theory.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh, the let them theory, not don't let them.
11:27
SPEAKER_01: The let them next her next book is gonna be don't let them.
11:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's gonna copy off of us.
11:35
SPEAKER_01: And that's how we know for sure.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: And take credit for it.
11:39
SPEAKER_01: 100%.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's what she actually did with this book, apparently, too, is that there was a poem originally written by somebody who never got credit for from Mel anyway.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so I think that this is great to start with because for me, as I ramble, but for me, when somebody comes out with a book like this and it's a hot thing and it's all over the media and everything, and I'm like, WTF, like I don't get it.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: Like, I literally don't get it.
12:02
SPEAKER_01: I didn't buy the book, I give it a big eye roll because the energetic frequency of it feels so distorted to me.
12:11
SPEAKER_01: And that's just my initial read on it.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: It used to be, remember, I said this, I used to think I just wasn't cool enough, but as it turns out, I am I am a hundred percent one of the cool kids.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: You're one of the cool kids, Robin, even though you're from South Dakota.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: That has nothing to do with it.
12:28
SPEAKER_01: All the cool kids are from South Dakota, didn't you know that?
12:31
SPEAKER_01: Ask your husband.
12:33
unknown: Yeah.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's an inside joke.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, you guys.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: I would say the inside joke, but I don't want Matt to be mad at me, so I'm not gonna say it in his privacy.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: No, I agree.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: I agree.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: Maybe we can have him on and disclose the inside joke.
12:49
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that was how he and I connected is our South Dakota connections.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, as we're talking, I'm scrolling through trying to find the reviews of the Don't Let Them book, which has mysteriously disappeared.
13:01
SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Well, while you're looking for that, I just want to give a little context for this.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: I think one of the problems I have with um, you know, some of like these bigger like pop culture, like spiritual teachings, what ends up happening is we take like one aspect or one perspective or one thing that in the right situation and with the right person could be incredibly helpful, right?
13:31
SPEAKER_00: But then we like evangelize it or something and make it into this thing of like, this is the answer to everything.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: And it's not that simple ever, even with like Eckhart Tole and stuff, which you know, I had a moment where I liked him, although I do find his voice very annoying.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: You did?
13:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like back in like 2001 or 2002.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: Well, okay, I'll give that to you because that like 2001, 2002, like that was when Oprah was really hot and like all of this new stuff was coming out, and Abraham Hicks and Abraham Hicks, yeah.
14:07
SPEAKER_01: And you and I were like rising at the same time.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: We came alive in our gifts and what was going on in our lives at the same time, which is why we're here today.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so I get that from that perspective.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: And I suppose if I were to really be honest, I was a little bit compelled by him too, but I never got it.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: I remember somebody was reading that book, and I'm like, why?
14:28
SPEAKER_00: I mean, his voice always annoyed me.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: But again, I kind of thought it was that I didn't get it too, like, because I was like, oh, well, maybe I'm just not evolved enough or something.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: And I think that that can be a trick.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: Although I do think it's helpful for some people.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: And I will say, too, with that kind of thing and the Abraham Hicks stuff, I actually feel like those things were a reflection of the consciousness of that time, also.
14:55
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like there's that element to it too, where like now it feels a little bit light or something.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: But I think at the time, if we look back on like the conscious human consciousness, you know, the way it's evolved in the last 25 years, I think that whatever you get what I'm saying.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: So I think so.
15:14
SPEAKER_01: And the other thing too, I think that at least for me, when I was reading those guys, whether it was, and I did try to read Eckhart and I just couldn't, or Doreen Virtue, or my teacher for many years was Sonia Choquette.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: I would read their books and learned a lot from them.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: But for me, it was more like, oh, I'm like them.
15:33
SPEAKER_01: This is what I am supposed to be doing, this is what I am meant to do.
15:37
SPEAKER_01: And so they were sort of my avatars, I would say, at the time, to understand myself.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
15:43
SPEAKER_01: I think that there is some wisdom there.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: But this kind of thing that comes out, let's see, when did let them come out?
15:51
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: So let me finish what I was saying though, while you're finding that.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, yeah.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: So with something like this, I think it can actually be another way that people could like gaslight themselves.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Because if like she's coming out and saying, like, oh, all you have to do is let them, meaning like all you have to do is like not care what people think or not try to control other people or not try to control everything.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: To me, I'm like, if people could do that, don't you think they would have fucking tried that already?
16:21
SPEAKER_00: There's a reason why people can't do that.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: It's not that easy to just like snap your fingers.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing that I always talk about with something like people pleasing.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: It's a coping mechanism.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: It's not something that people want to do.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: It's a behavior that they learn to do in order to survive or get their needs met.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: So when someone is overly controlling or overly focused on what other people are doing, that's because they don't feel safe.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: And there's a deep reason why.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: And for her to come out and just say, oh, just let them, it's like then people feel like there's something wrong with them if they can't do that.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: And that's the problem I have with it.
17:00
SPEAKER_01: I am in complete agreement with you on that.
17:04
SPEAKER_01: And I think about people who score high on agreeableness on the Neo, we always let them.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: Right.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's kind of the whole thing.
17:11
SPEAKER_01: Like, fucking like that's the problem is that we always let them.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, whatever that is.
17:17
SPEAKER_01: And I also think that here's the problem with those on the world stage who are creating messages like this, like the let them message, is that to your point, it's oversimplified.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: First, two is there's this energy of if I can do it, you can do it.
17:36
SPEAKER_01: But as we know, we talked about this during the Bewitched series, that they always keep something back.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: There's always something that they're holding back.
17:45
SPEAKER_01: So they'll give you some of it, but they're not going to give you the whole story ever.
17:49
SPEAKER_01: And so I think what you and I are doing today is really giving the whole story.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: Which is it, it's not that simple because when you've got somebody who's smart, who's highly capable, who's accomplished, and I can't do this, let them, there's something must be wrong with me.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: And it's not exactly.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: There's not something wrong with you.
18:08
SPEAKER_01: You're actually human.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: That's the problem I have with the whole Brene Brown, like vulnerability thing.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: It's like, why do you think people aren't vulnerable?
18:16
SPEAKER_00: It's not because they don't want to be.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's the thing where it's like, oh, this is the answer.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: When it's just like, yeah, that's part of it and it is important, but it's not the whole picture.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: And we need to look at why do people have trouble with being vulnerable?
18:31
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's because they're traumatized.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's because they don't feel safe.
18:35
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's because they live in a world where they never got their needs met and they were always feeling threatened or feeling like there was something terrible was gonna happen.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: Like that's why they can't be vulnerable.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: Like it's not because there's something wrong with them.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: And also, I've already said this, but I will continue to beat the drum of the word vulnerability, I believe is being misused.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: When we look at the neo-personality profile, vulnerability is a nervous system response, first of all.
19:05
SPEAKER_01: It's brain-based.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: It answers the question how sensitive are you to stress?
19:10
SPEAKER_01: When somebody is highly vulnerable, their nervous system is red hot and they are very, very sensitive to or vulnerable to stress.
19:19
SPEAKER_01: And so that in itself, to me, that's the burr I always have under my saddle on the vulnerability stuff, anyway.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: I think it's misused and misunderstood.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: And I think that your take on it dovetails into my nervous system and personality perspective, which is that if we want to be transparent, if we want to be effective as leaders who are real, then we do have to take care of our nervous system and we do have to look at what is the trauma behind it and where do we not feel safe.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: I think that there's so many different levels of like what people are wanting or ready for when it comes to their own journey, you know, with personal growth or healing or self-help or whatever you want to call it.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: And I think that like there's a point on the journey where some of this stuff is very helpful and eye-opening, right?
20:14
SPEAKER_00: But then I think that it gets to the point where it's like, okay, well, there's really no backup.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, well, how do I really do this?
20:22
SPEAKER_00: And again, I didn't read the book, so I don't know if she gave ways to do this, which I'm guessing maybe she did or didn't.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: I don't think that's the point of it.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: But I think that it does, like you said, oversimplify something that is, in essence, incredibly complicated.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, and there's probably so many reasons why people get themselves in the situations.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: And I just wanted to expand on what you said about like, well, if I can, you can.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: And that I think, again, is very damaging because it's like, well, yeah, you can, but you have all of these resources.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: And again, this is not being victim-y at all.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: It's just saying, like, everybody's in a very different situation, right?
21:04
SPEAKER_00: Even people who are seemingly the same, you know, maybe similar socioeconomic backgrounds, race, ethnicity, ways they were raised, values, whatever, still could have very different energetic makeups when it comes to trauma, growth and development, all of these things, right?
21:25
SPEAKER_00: I've seen this, and I'm sure you've seen it too after working with so many people.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: Everybody's coming in with a different set of cars that they're dealt.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: And so it's not just as simple as to say, if I can do it, you can do it too, type of a thing.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: Cause I don't think that.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: And I often think for myself I don't think so either.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: And I often think for myself too, like even with my business, it's like, okay, well, what are the factors that allowed me to create success?
21:54
SPEAKER_00: Right.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: Not that I have to go so deep into this, but I always think about that because it's like, what are the things?
22:00
SPEAKER_00: That came together to create for me to create what I created when other people didn't.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's important to look at because not everybody is coming from equal footing.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: That's just the reality of it.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: But does that mean that anyone is like a victim or anything?
22:17
SPEAKER_00: No, it just means that like we all have different things going on in our lives that we have to walk through in order to get to where we want to go.
22:25
SPEAKER_01: All right.
22:25
SPEAKER_01: So here's my summary of what you just said is that Mel Robbins thinks she hit a triple when she was born on third base.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: Did Chat GPT give you that, Robin?
22:38
SPEAKER_00: Hell no.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: That's my multicultural counseling background, right?
22:45
SPEAKER_01: That this is grad school.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: So like this is like uh distance from privilege, is what we're actually talking about here.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: Is the closer you are to the center of privilege, the easier it is for you to do everything.
22:57
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
22:58
SPEAKER_01: Listen, if you're a mediocre white dude who happens to be Christian and Republican and live in America, the chances are pretty darn good that you're gonna do pretty well in your life.
23:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:09
SPEAKER_01: And if you happen to be a woman of color who was raised in poverty and has these beautiful gifts, they're gonna be way more danger zones for you.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: And it's gonna be way more difficult to achieve what's a mediocre white dude easily achieves simply because of this unearned privilege and power that they have.
23:31
SPEAKER_01: So I wanted to read a couple of these.
23:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm on Amazon.
23:35
SPEAKER_01: Like 72% of the people who reviewed, and there's over 14,000 reviews of this book, were positive, like the four and five stars.
23:43
SPEAKER_01: But I always love to go down into the one and two stars.
23:46
SPEAKER_01: Those are my favorite places to hang out because they're the truth tellers.
23:49
SPEAKER_01: They're like the ones like Yeah, I mean, of course.
23:52
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, I want to read a couple of these.
23:53
SPEAKER_01: This first one, Nettie J gives it a one star, bloated with repetitive content of potentially dangerous advice.
24:01
SPEAKER_01: Nettie J says at the end of her review, one final thought.
24:04
SPEAKER_01: Mel Robbins is writing from a place of great privilege.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: Her net worth is in the low eight figures.
24:09
SPEAKER_01: So she has a lot more freedom to let them than her average reader.
24:13
SPEAKER_01: Some of us will lose careers, necessary relationships, and allow others to hurt themselves simply for the sake of letting them do what they want and not taking it personally.
24:22
SPEAKER_01: Advice like this shows that she's losing touch with her audience.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: She will likely have very few negative consequences to her own philosophy.
24:29
SPEAKER_01: That's not true for others.
24:31
SPEAKER_01: And then this other one, this is just a consumer advocate, not just, but that's the name of the review.
24:38
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: Very redundant and evidently plagiarized.
24:42
SPEAKER_01: So she says, she or he says, Well, I admire Mel Robbins, really.
24:48
SPEAKER_01: That was nice.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: Consumer advocate.
24:51
SPEAKER_01: I found the Let Them theory book overly repetitive and tedious.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: Each chapter was a struggle to get through, and the book would benefit from some concise editing.
25:00
SPEAKER_01: Robin's strength seemed to shine more in her sparkling engagements.
25:04
SPEAKER_01: This has been the general consensus out there from readers.
25:07
SPEAKER_01: Also, very disappointing from another review here.
25:10
SPEAKER_01: Mel, like so many enterprising and entrepreneurial advice givers, decided to profit from the work of someone else.
25:17
SPEAKER_01: In this case, the real author of the idea of Let Them was Cassie Phillips.
25:21
SPEAKER_01: And then she lists or she gives her original poem free of charge as she intended.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I did hear that.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you never know exactly what was true.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: To kind of go further on that front, I think you listened to that episode of the Imagination podcast of the woman who wrote that like poem.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: I forget the poem, but it ended up being stolen from her, and someone else created like a book about it.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, no, Coldplay.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: Coldplay stole the whole lyrics.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: Is that the one you're talking about?
25:51
SPEAKER_00: No, it was.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: I think somebody stole it and made it into like a book or something like that.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: Some bigger author, I'm pretty sure.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: Cause I think she was like, it was called like Dear Human or something.
26:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
26:04
SPEAKER_01: That one.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: And there was also Coldplay did actually steal lyrics from somebody as well.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, I didn't even know that.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: But this woman is like kind of the same situation where she wrote this poem or something.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: She called it a meme, but I think it was actually more of like a poem, and it went viral.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: And then I guess she had some sort of talks with like a publisher to do a book or something.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: And then it like kind of went south.
26:27
SPEAKER_00: And then someone else took the idea and wrote a book.
26:31
SPEAKER_00: And it might even have been like a well-known person, I don't know.
26:34
SPEAKER_00: But that was like her whole story.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: Things like that do happen.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: Again, I'm not saying that whatever, because you don't know the exact truth, but that was this very almost the exact same story.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: And I also think, you know, with stuff like that, if that woman wrote this as a poem, I feel like that's what it was intended for to be like a like a moment of inspiration for somebody who needs to hear that because they're at this like particular place in their life.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: And that poem like inspires them to go with that or something.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: It's not something that needs to be made into a whole soundbite marketable.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, or like a whole thing of like this is how you live your life.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: It's just like a moment, you know, where you might need to hear that.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: It's not like now you're gonna apply this to every situation in your life.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: I think that was the point of that.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: This let them poem.
27:28
SPEAKER_01: Let me just read the last couple of lines because this is, I think, the author's point, Cassie Phillips.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: Let them have a safe place in you.
27:36
SPEAKER_01: Let them see the heart in you that didn't harden.
27:38
SPEAKER_01: Let them love you.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that lovely, meaningful, and in a moment.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:45
SPEAKER_01: In a moment.
27:46
SPEAKER_01: And I think it gets also to this bigger issue of plagiarism in the personal development space.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: Listen, I've been studying self-help books for 25 years.
27:57
SPEAKER_01: You know, we were talking about Eckhart and Abraham Ham.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: I've been studying this stuff because, you know, I've got my publishing house, we've got our books coming out.
28:06
SPEAKER_01: I know this industry, I know these books.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: And there was a time, probably about five years or so ago, that I started reading this next generation of like the Hay House authors and stuff like that.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: And it's all frigging recycled bullshit from 20 years ago.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: Like they just take other people's ideas.
28:23
SPEAKER_01: They don't credit the originators' ideas and they just co-opt them and make them their own and put them in a book to sell copies and build an audience.
28:31
SPEAKER_01: I just, I know you got you can hear the irritation in my voice about it, but I think it goes to the bigger issue too of being an integrity as leaders in this space and citing our sources, just doing something as simple as that.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: Cite your source and let's create some new ideas rather than I think also what Hay House has kind of become too is like it's a very specific thing of like what is going to sell and be marketable at this point.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: I think it it started out as like these thought leaders, you know, like Louise Hay, obviously, and you know, everyone in that camp.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: I think it started out as they were thought leaders in the space.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: Wayne Dyer was a Hay House author.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: Sonia is still a Hay House author.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: Like there are some who really do have original thoughts and everything.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, Hay House to me has become sort of a money-making people gathering thing.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: Right.
29:28
SPEAKER_00: It has to be a specific thing.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: It can't go too far in any direction.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: It has to kind of follow a certain way, like worldview, right?
29:40
SPEAKER_00: It has to follow a certain worldview.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: And it's very formulaic too.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: So I think that that is just what it's become.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I don't remember the last time I read a book by a hay house author.
29:53
SPEAKER_00: Not to say anybody's bad or good.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: I just, it's not where my interest lies at this point.
29:58
SPEAKER_01: I'll say if they're bad or good.
30:01
SPEAKER_01: No, I have I want to say something too.
30:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to say the author, but I discovered recently through my own kind of back channel connections that one author who I really, I really like her Oracle cards.
30:15
SPEAKER_01: Well, it turns out the reason that I like them so much is because she took all of one of my teachers' ideas and packaged them and didn't give her credit.
30:25
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: How did you find that out?
30:27
SPEAKER_01: I have a back channel who's connected with Hay House, and she's got like boots on the ground, like finger on the pulse of things in terms of what's going on behind the scenes there.
30:38
SPEAKER_01: And especially with this one author.
30:40
SPEAKER_01: And the interesting thing is talking about being able to discern like what books are off and what books are aligned for me, is I tried to read this one author's book that came out before her Oracle cards, and I didn't like it.
30:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I don't even like what even is this?
30:58
SPEAKER_01: And then the Oracle cards came out, and I'm like, oh my God, I love these so much.
31:01
SPEAKER_01: What is that?
31:02
SPEAKER_01: And then I found out what was going on, which was that she took all of my teachers' ideas and wow, put them on the page.
31:10
SPEAKER_01: And obviously, this is like what happens.
31:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, but well, it's what has happened in the past.
31:16
SPEAKER_01: And I know you and I and Elizabeth and our, you know, bewitched crew are making that shift.
31:22
SPEAKER_01: And I think that today, especially with this, you know, the don't let them title and then talking about Mel Robin's work as an example, but just so that we know it's rampant.
31:34
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's a call for us to be super discerning about what we're reading and to understand that if you don't understand something, it's not because you're not cool enough.
31:44
SPEAKER_01: There's something off in the frequency.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's hard for me at this point to like there's not a whole lot of stuff I'm drawn to, you know, as far as you know, people's like theories about life, you know, that's not where I'm at.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: I I want to hear people's experiences, right?
32:04
SPEAKER_00: So I can make my own theories.
32:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think that that's a milestone, don't you too?
32:10
SPEAKER_01: Because I remember when I first started this process 25 years ago, like you, I was a voracious, like I was ordering everything.
32:17
SPEAKER_01: I had a Borders bookstore down the street from where I lived.
32:20
SPEAKER_01: I was there every single day in the self-help spiritual section, pulling books and reading.
32:26
SPEAKER_01: I was so hungry to understand myself.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: And they were the authors who were out there leading the way so that I could have some kind of bridge to understanding who I was.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: But I think that at some point we as leaders set aside other people's ideas and other people's perspectives and really ground into what we actually think and create our own, or yeah, I'll say create our own perspective and stand in that, whatever that signal is.
32:55
SPEAKER_01: So with you in the metamorphosis method, that is the your hallmark, your signal for all of this work that you have done over the last 25 years.
33:05
SPEAKER_01: And it's something that is original, yeah, and integrated and embodied.
33:10
SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's the difference between somebody who just grabs an idea and makes it marketable because they've got a huge following versus somebody like you who is grounded and ethical and in integrity with what you're doing based on what you know from all of your experience and credentials and so on.
33:29
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Robin.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
33:31
SPEAKER_00: I feel the same way about you.
33:33
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
33:34
SPEAKER_00: Right back at you.
33:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, that's the milestone.
33:38
SPEAKER_01: And when we look at what's coming next for, you know, the next generation of authors with Engelheim publishing my publishing division of my company, it's really looking at my teacher Cookie told me one time Cookie is Cookie C-U-K-Y.
33:52
SPEAKER_01: She's Sonia Choquette's big sister.
33:54
SPEAKER_01: And while I was working with Sonia, Sonia was teaching like universal law, and she was one of the first people I ever saw channel.
34:02
SPEAKER_01: She was magical, but always at a distance.
34:04
SPEAKER_01: Cookie was like my mom.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: And uh she lived not too far from me in Kansas City, and I was over at her house like regularly for her loamy loomis and everything.
34:13
SPEAKER_01: And she told me once a long time ago, as I was trying to figure out, like, I knew I was like Sonia or like Doreen or whoever, like that I knew that that was the best explanation for who I was.
34:26
SPEAKER_01: And I was laying on her massage table one day.
34:29
SPEAKER_01: She was doing loamy, which is the Hawaiian massage.
34:32
SPEAKER_01: And she said, you know, Robin, there's nothing new under the sun.
34:36
SPEAKER_01: There's only your perspective.
34:37
SPEAKER_01: So you can bring your perspective to any number of issues, but there's nothing new under the sun.
34:45
SPEAKER_01: Well, the first book that I published under my new imprint, Engelheim, was called Beyond the Sun, Messages from Beyond the Sun, because I really believe we've reached a point.
34:56
SPEAKER_01: Then, I mean, that was probably 20 years ago that Cookie told me that.
35:00
SPEAKER_01: And things have changed to your point.
35:02
SPEAKER_01: And now, you know, I've been saying for a while, we're channeling from beyond the sun, right?
35:06
SPEAKER_01: So we're bringing new things through, innovative things through that haven't been thought of before, that the world has never seen before.
35:15
SPEAKER_01: And that's what's in my mind coming, in my vision coming, is that this new wave of books that are coming forward and authors who are coming forward are the ones who literally are going beyond the sun and going back to zero point to original source and pulling things through and in, like you, like me, like Louisa and Elizabeth and Belgit.
35:37
SPEAKER_01: Did you hear Belgit's new tracks?
35:39
SPEAKER_00: I haven't listened to it yet.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, you guys.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: We need to put those in the show notes.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: She's got an EP that she just put out if Belgit was on Bewitched.
35:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we'll put it in the show notes.
35:49
SPEAKER_01: These tracks are my hips, were like moving.
35:52
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, who needs Shakira?
35:54
SPEAKER_00: We have Belgit.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: I know.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: Well, she's an intentional DJ for those of you that don't know.
36:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:01
SPEAKER_01: And if you don't know her, you need to, like today.
36:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:04
SPEAKER_01: Do you feel complete around let them?
36:09
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I do.
36:10
SPEAKER_01: Don't let them fool you into thinking that one liner is the answer.
36:15
SPEAKER_01: And don't let them fool you into thinking there's something wrong with you because there's not.
36:20
SPEAKER_01: And don't let them make you think that just because they can do it, you can do it.
36:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:25
SPEAKER_01: Bullshit.
36:27
SPEAKER_01: Not that you can't do it, but did I ever tell you the story of I did the Neo with somebody who was very successful in the spiritual entrepreneur space, like very successful.
36:38
SPEAKER_01: And her messaging at the time was, if I can do it, you can do it.
36:42
SPEAKER_01: And she came in for the Neo for some other reason.
36:45
SPEAKER_01: She got referred.
36:45
SPEAKER_01: And I was looking at her Neo profile.
36:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I said to her, I said, the reason you can do all that you can do is because your neo profile is so unusual.
36:54
SPEAKER_01: Not to mention that she was like 99.9 percentile on intelligence on IQ.
37:00
SPEAKER_01: Her IQ was probably like 150-ish.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: So smart.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: So fast processor.
37:05
SPEAKER_01: And then her neo profile was super unusual.
37:08
SPEAKER_01: Very high on openness, of course.
37:11
SPEAKER_01: Uh, very low on disagreeableness, which is necessary if you're going to be successful in this world, and highly conscientious.
37:19
SPEAKER_01: I love the Neo because it gives statistics.
37:22
SPEAKER_01: It tells us in a room of a hundred people, how unusual is your personality.
37:26
SPEAKER_01: Her in a room of like a thousand people, her personality was so unusual.
37:31
SPEAKER_01: And then when you add the intelligence on top of it, like she was one in 10,000, I'll say.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: And then also you have to think about too, like, we didn't even talk about like your astrology and your human design and like all of these things.
37:43
SPEAKER_00: Like everybody is so different.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for bringing in human design and astrology, because you know me, I'm the personality.
37:52
SPEAKER_01: It all goes back to personality, doesn't it, Elise?
37:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, it does in a lot of ways, but those things like inform it too.
37:59
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, for sure.
38:01
SPEAKER_01: The contributions of uh your astrology and your human design, not your Myers Briggs, not your disc.
38:08
SPEAKER_01: Jesus Christ.
38:09
SPEAKER_01: Excuse my language.
38:10
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, anyway, my point to her was the reason you can do all of this is because your personality is so unusual.
38:17
SPEAKER_01: And then I was so bold to say, as you probably shouldn't tell your clients this anymore because they don't have personalities like yours.
38:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh boy, she was not happy with me.
38:28
SPEAKER_01: She did not like it.
38:29
SPEAKER_01: In fact, she came out with she didn't name me, but she has been known to name names.
38:34
SPEAKER_01: And she named um in a different blog at the time she did, she named Danielle Laporte as somebody who was a has been basically and really went after her.
38:42
SPEAKER_01: She didn't ever name me, but she totally misinterpreted the Neo results and used them to her advantage and um spun it so it made it look like of course you can, because you know, I'm unusual and you're unusual, and so you can do it too.
38:55
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: So she really like stuck to her guns on that marketing.
39:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
39:00
SPEAKER_01: She well, and to no great surprise because she was so disagreeable.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: I should have known.
39:06
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's funny, like I would never, I guess I'm different than her, but if you were like, Oh, you probably shouldn't say that anymore or whatever, I wouldn't like double down on it.
39:16
SPEAKER_00: I would be like, Oh, let me like take the results and apply them.
39:21
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
39:22
SPEAKER_01: And we have a mutual colleague, and I chatted with our mutual colleague at one point, and she's like, Yeah, you really got under her skin.
39:30
SPEAKER_01: And I think maybe that's my biggest problem in visibility in this field is that I get under people's skin.
39:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
39:39
SPEAKER_01: And then I get put in time out.
39:41
SPEAKER_01: If I would just come up with a let them and just let them, I think that things would work.
39:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but we're not here for that, are we, as the disruptors?
39:49
SPEAKER_01: No.
39:50
SPEAKER_01: Hey, speaking of disruption, can we talk about LinkedIn for a second?
39:54
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
39:54
SPEAKER_00: You mean the most boring place on the internet?
40:00
SPEAKER_00: I like post on LinkedIn almost every day.
40:03
SPEAKER_00: So don't I'm not like I know, I see your stuff.
40:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm not, but it's still boring.
40:08
SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, this might make it a little less boring.
40:11
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
40:11
SPEAKER_01: Last week was my ninth wedding anniversary.
40:14
SPEAKER_01: Happy anniversary.
40:15
SPEAKER_01: That's so lovely.
40:17
SPEAKER_01: It's a miracle.
40:19
SPEAKER_01: Truly a miracle.
40:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:21
SPEAKER_01: And we got married at the four seasons up in North Scottsdale nine years ago, and that's where we spent our anniversary.
40:28
SPEAKER_01: It's lovely.
40:29
SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
40:30
SPEAKER_01: I love that for you guys.
40:32
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
40:32
SPEAKER_01: It was really, really good.
40:34
SPEAKER_01: So I, of course, I always bring my work with me.
40:38
SPEAKER_01: And I actually signed up a new client while I was there.
40:41
SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
40:42
SPEAKER_01: Love that.
40:43
SPEAKER_01: It happens.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, um, I was on LinkedIn and I've had this LinkedIn group for literally years.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: It started out as this kind of like corporate-y, like life outside the office kind of thing, and it's sort of shifted over time as I've shifted and I've tried to keep it vital and alive to no avail.
41:00
SPEAKER_01: Like it's just becomes this like this holding tank for people.
41:04
SPEAKER_01: And I had like 500 and some people in it.
41:07
SPEAKER_01: And every time I would try to get something moving, nobody does anything with it.
41:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
41:11
SPEAKER_00: Does anyone have a LinkedIn group that is like successful?
41:15
SPEAKER_00: Like, have you ever seen that happen?
41:18
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
41:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's this guy who has a positive psych group that has a lot of members in it, and I think he posts all the time.
41:26
SPEAKER_01: And they like him because he's like a rock star in positive psychology.
41:30
SPEAKER_01: And so somehow it works for him.
41:32
SPEAKER_01: But these smaller communities run by highly capable, accomplished people who don't have the big names, I think.
41:40
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
41:41
SPEAKER_01: I've never seen one.
41:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:43
SPEAKER_01: And what ends up happening, you get these invitations all the time to these groups, and you just, okay, I'm gonna click on that.
41:49
SPEAKER_01: And my thinking has always been, well, maybe this will be the one that, and it never happens.
41:54
SPEAKER_01: It just is like holding tank.
41:56
SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of a backstory.
41:58
SPEAKER_01: And also, I've been on LinkedIn since 2008, like right when it opened up.
42:03
SPEAKER_01: I was on my postdoc and somebody said, You should be on LinkedIn.
42:06
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay.
42:07
SPEAKER_01: So I started, I still have my like original, like Robin McKay one as my, you know, my LinkedIn, because that's what we did back in the in the aughts.
42:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
42:16
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so I was I was on there and I got a message from somebody who has a massive following or a connection invitation, massive following.
42:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, does something similar to what I'm doing in terms of doing premium coaching.
42:31
SPEAKER_01: We were at the same university at some point, like there were some connections there.
42:35
SPEAKER_01: She's a blondie, she identifies as an intuitive, like this whole thing.
42:39
SPEAKER_01: And she's got a huge following.
42:41
SPEAKER_01: And so my first response as I saw that connection is, oh, cool, that's cool.
42:46
SPEAKER_01: Because with the rise of Bewitched, there have been, I'm sure you've had this too, is that there are some people who have larger followings who are reaching out and connecting.
42:53
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, and so, like, if that happens on Instagram, that really is cool.
42:57
SPEAKER_01: On LinkedIn, as it turns out, I'll tell you what happened.
43:00
SPEAKER_01: So initially, I'm like, oh, cool, like I would on Instagram.
43:05
SPEAKER_01: So I accept her request.
43:07
SPEAKER_01: Next thing I know, she's in my DMs, hey goddess, with a you know, Barbie pink gif.
43:14
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, oh God, that will be enough.
43:17
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, no, it was hey, hey goddess, hey Robin.
43:20
SPEAKER_01: She didn't acknowledge my, you know, usually like listen, over on LinkedIn, people are more formal.
43:26
SPEAKER_01: And so they will, because they understand my credentials, they will address me as hey Dr.
43:30
SPEAKER_01: McKay or hey Dr.
43:31
SPEAKER_01: Robin.
43:32
SPEAKER_01: I don't require that people call me that, but in that environment, there is a decorum, right?
43:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
43:39
SPEAKER_01: But she starts out with hey Robin, like it's you and me talking, and I'm already I'm like, and then she calls me goddess and she's got a Barbie gif, and I'm like, okay, what's even happening here?
43:47
SPEAKER_01: So that would be enough to push me over the edge.
43:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, it did.
43:51
SPEAKER_01: And I decided rather than responding, which would have been my natural way of doing it, I didn't respond.
43:57
SPEAKER_01: And I just held, I held my signal.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: To see what would happen next.
44:01
SPEAKER_01: And next thing, like a day later, after I don't respond, hey, if it feels aligned, I'd love to invite you to join my LinkedIn group.
44:10
SPEAKER_01: So I click on the LinkedIn group.
44:11
SPEAKER_01: She's got probably 1,500 people in it.
44:14
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't look real active and the energy just feels like dead.
44:18
SPEAKER_01: And I was reflecting on that.
44:20
SPEAKER_01: I didn't join, obviously, and I didn't respond to her, but I was reflecting on that because what I was hoping would be a true invitation to connect ended up feeling like a spiritualized opt-in to a funnel.
44:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:36
SPEAKER_01: And that I think is the major vibe over on LinkedIn right now, especially among the spiritual entrepreneurs.
44:43
SPEAKER_01: It's like they come into our inboxes, they drop their groups in there, come and join my thing.
44:50
SPEAKER_01: And then nothing ever happens there.
44:51
SPEAKER_01: It's like mysteriously, we just hang out there.
44:55
SPEAKER_01: And it almost felt to me like there was this energy of wanting just to absorb me as another number in her massive following.
45:03
SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
45:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
45:05
SPEAKER_00: First of all, I think that there's been a lot of like misconception on the internet.
45:12
SPEAKER_00: And um, Jocelyn talks about this a lot that like a big following means that you make a lot of money or means that you're successful.
45:20
SPEAKER_00: And that's just not the case.
45:22
SPEAKER_00: Like it's not, it can be.
45:24
SPEAKER_00: Like obviously, Nicole, Nicole has been able to create a huge audience and she does make a lot of money, but like one does not equal the other.
45:34
SPEAKER_01: Well, and Nicole's the one who talks about stop chasing the vanity metrics and create a community of people who buy from you, who buy from your business.
45:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, totally.
45:44
SPEAKER_01: So there's two things.
45:46
SPEAKER_01: One is that one of the things I've shifted in my business is from a lead generation.
45:51
SPEAKER_01: We talk a lot about that.
45:52
SPEAKER_01: Like, here's a don't let them for everybody.
45:54
SPEAKER_01: Don't let them think that you have to have lead generation because all leads, that's a lead generation magnet.
46:00
SPEAKER_01: That thing that Barbie Oracle did over there.
46:04
SPEAKER_01: Oracle Barbie.
46:07
SPEAKER_01: She comes with her crystal ball.
46:09
SPEAKER_01: It's very interesting, like the word Oracle, too.
46:12
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh yeah.
46:13
SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, I look at her credentials, and she's not, she doesn't have a PhD in psychology.
46:18
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, she's got some decent credentials.
46:20
SPEAKER_01: And obviously, we studied at a similar university and everything, but a very, very different track.
46:26
SPEAKER_01: And teaching premium sales, that kind of thing was her supposedly her jam.
46:31
SPEAKER_01: Who knows how well she does?
46:32
SPEAKER_01: But at any rate, she didn't come into my inbox as a colleague with any kind of formal handshake.
46:40
SPEAKER_01: Let me introduce myself.
46:41
SPEAKER_01: She came in collecting me as one of her little minions in her community.
46:47
SPEAKER_00: Well, let's talk about this for a second, because I actually was thinking about this a lot the other day, which is like this whole thing around, and on Facebook too, like people just sending you messages, like trying to like sell you stuff or invite you into their groups or wanting you to do something.
47:06
SPEAKER_00: And also there's people that like have a whole business around like teaching people to do that, which to me is so strange.
47:14
SPEAKER_00: Like I don't understand how people make money doing that.
47:19
SPEAKER_00: And to me, it's like, okay, if we think about the just like the human experience, right?
47:26
SPEAKER_00: And like human connection.
47:28
SPEAKER_00: Because in order to really, especially in businesses like we have, or you know, any like kind of online business or coaching business or whatever, the person needs to feel connected to you in order to buy from you, right?
47:42
SPEAKER_01: They need a relationship with you.
47:43
SPEAKER_01: Is that what you're telling me?
47:44
SPEAKER_01: They need a relationship with you in order to buy.
47:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they don't just need a tripwire and like being stocked on the internet through ads to buy from you.
47:55
SPEAKER_01: That's fascinating.
47:56
SPEAKER_00: Well, and the the thing is, there's nothing wrong with ads either.
47:59
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think you can do it that way.
48:01
SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, when someone's just sending you, because I have this happen to me on LinkedIn constantly where someone sends a message being like, I just wanted to let you know what we have going on right now.
48:13
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, like, what makes you think that I would want to know what you have going on right now?
48:18
SPEAKER_00: Like, that is the worst way to reach out and to connect with someone.
48:22
SPEAKER_00: To me, if you're going to reach out to somebody, you should make it about them.
48:27
SPEAKER_00: Right.
48:28
SPEAKER_00: Say, like, hey, I was interested in your like what you do because of this.
48:34
SPEAKER_00: I really like this and I want to know more about it.
48:37
SPEAKER_00: So you're like getting them to feel like they would want to open up to you.
48:42
SPEAKER_00: But if someone is, it's literally like a door-to-door salesman.
48:45
SPEAKER_00: Like a cold DM is a door-to-door salesman of the millennium or whatever we're in right now.
48:51
SPEAKER_00: I have no idea what to call it.
48:53
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
48:54
SPEAKER_01: Did Chat GPT give you that?
48:59
SPEAKER_01: Or did you make that up in your head all year?
49:01
SPEAKER_00: I made that up on my own.
49:02
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, and it feels icky.
49:04
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just, I guess my point for sharing all this is I really wonder, first of all, why people are still doing that.
49:12
SPEAKER_00: And second, like, is there people that that actually works for?
49:15
SPEAKER_00: Because I don't understand that at all.
49:18
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it's very like violating to, and because it happens on Facebook too, where, you know, maybe you'll accept somebody's friend request or whatever, or maybe not.
49:28
SPEAKER_00: And then you just like receive a DM from somebody.
49:31
SPEAKER_00: And even if they are saying, like, oh, how are you?
49:34
SPEAKER_00: Or they say something like, What, how's your week going?
49:38
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, why the fuck would I tell you how my week is going?
49:41
SPEAKER_00: I don't know you.
49:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, why are you reaching out to me?
49:44
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is not how we build relationships.
49:47
SPEAKER_00: And the fact that like people are like teaching other people to do this, I'm just like, what is happening right now?
49:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, why are we so disconnected from like what it actually takes to connect with people?
50:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh my God.
50:01
SPEAKER_01: I hope that's a rhetorical question because I don't know the answer to that.
50:04
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm sure there's many answers, but I think it was actually a rhetorical question.
50:08
SPEAKER_01: But I think that so to your point, I don't know that it works for anybody.
50:12
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if it ever worked for anybody, but I do know for certain that the people that you and I are connected with are relationship driven and focused.
50:23
SPEAKER_01: And so whenever I come into anybody's inbox or anything like that, I have a process that I go through.
50:31
SPEAKER_01: Like I imagine connecting heart to heart and eye to eye to them.
50:34
SPEAKER_01: Like I'm at a networking event.
50:37
SPEAKER_01: Hi, how are you doing?
50:38
SPEAKER_01: Like it's nice to meet you.
50:40
SPEAKER_01: Or when somebody connects with me, I'll say, Welcome to my corner of the world.
50:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm so happy that you're here.
50:45
SPEAKER_01: Can't wait to learn more about you and your work.
50:47
SPEAKER_01: Those are simple gestures that I have in my work that bring relationship forward.
50:54
SPEAKER_01: Now, sometimes they don't respond.
50:55
SPEAKER_01: And maybe they say, WTF is she doing coming into my inbox?
50:59
SPEAKER_01: But she's the one who reached out to connect with me.
51:01
SPEAKER_01: So what am I gonna do?
51:02
SPEAKER_01: Just say, yeah, okay, accept your request and then what ignore you?
51:07
SPEAKER_01: I don't do that either.
51:08
SPEAKER_01: Right.
51:09
SPEAKER_01: So let me tell you how this all ended.
51:11
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, let's get back to that.
51:12
SPEAKER_01: LinkedIn.
51:13
SPEAKER_01: So I ignore Oracle Barbie, which is unfortunate.
51:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to give her that name because I actually like that for myself.
51:19
SPEAKER_00: If I were to Yeah, I feel like we could give you a better name than Oracle Barbie.
51:25
SPEAKER_00: I feel like you might be yeah, I'll think of something.
51:28
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
51:29
SPEAKER_00: You're a different Barbie.
51:30
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
51:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
51:31
SPEAKER_01: Yes, multidimensional something, something.
51:35
SPEAKER_01: Okay, anyway.
51:35
SPEAKER_01: So I ignore Oracle Barbie and instead I write a LinkedIn post, which interestingly has gotten quite a bit of traction about this whole conversation that you and I are having.
51:48
SPEAKER_01: And I can share that in the show notes if you guys want to see it.
51:51
SPEAKER_01: But basically, it was just everything that we talked about is how frustrating it is, and I'm just not up for it anymore.
51:58
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, the people who have responded have responded, thank you for saying this.
52:01
SPEAKER_01: I feel the same way.
52:03
SPEAKER_01: And my whole point to it was in my post was like, if you've been getting these messages and ignoring them or archiving them, there's a reason for that.
52:11
SPEAKER_01: And it goes back, I think, to what we talked about with the Mel Robbins thing is don't let them convince you that there's something wrong with you if you're ignoring their requests for their groups that mysteriously go nowhere.
52:23
SPEAKER_00: I have to say, I have responded to certain people.
52:27
SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you a couple.
52:29
SPEAKER_00: Well, there's one that's coming to mind.
52:30
SPEAKER_00: There's been a few that I've responded to, though.
52:32
SPEAKER_00: I told them this is probably not how you want to do things.
52:36
SPEAKER_00: So there was somebody that reached out to me on LinkedIn who I guess was like one of those podcast people that like connects you with podcasts.
52:44
SPEAKER_00: And her message to me, Robin, was Have you ever been a guest on a podcast?
52:51
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Are you fucking kidding me?
52:54
SPEAKER_00: All you'd have to do is like look at my profile.
52:57
SPEAKER_00: Like, let's just look at my LinkedIn profile.
52:59
SPEAKER_00: I've been on hundreds of podcasts and I have my own podcast that's been running almost four years.
53:04
SPEAKER_00: I've been on over a hundred podcasts, and that's what you're gonna come to me with.
53:09
SPEAKER_00: So I wrote back to her and I said, before you reach out to people, you might want to do a simple search to look at who they are and what they've done because I've been on hundreds of podcasts and I have my own well-established podcast.
53:24
SPEAKER_00: So I would in the future really do your research before you reach out to people.
53:29
SPEAKER_00: And she wrote, Thank you for the advice.
53:35
SPEAKER_01: That's so kind of you to do that, actually.
53:37
SPEAKER_01: I ignore them, but I have the same thoughts.
53:40
SPEAKER_01: And I often wonder to me, that's it's a distraction, it's distraction energy.
53:46
SPEAKER_01: And it keeps me out of my it's meant, at least from where I'm sitting, it's meant to kind of disrupt my own signal, which I just won't let it do anymore.
53:56
SPEAKER_01: So the other thing that happened, I want to keep going on my LinkedIn story because I'm not done.
54:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
54:01
SPEAKER_01: Keep going.
54:01
SPEAKER_01: So the other thing that happened was that in my PS on that post that I made, I said, Oh, and by the way, because I didn't want to be some jerk who like criticizes somebody else for having a group that goes nowhere while still having a group on LinkedIn that goes nowhere.
54:16
SPEAKER_01: So I made the announcement in my group and said, you know, thank you all for being here, for following me, for hanging out, whatever.
54:23
SPEAKER_01: We're closing this group.
54:25
SPEAKER_01: I think two people liked it to my point.
54:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
54:28
SPEAKER_01: So I put that in the PS of the of that post as well is that I'm closing this group.
54:34
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, my Facebook group, my House of Sheology Facebook group, is small but mighty, and there is interaction and there is stuff going on there, and it's fun.
54:43
SPEAKER_01: And that's so that's where we're gonna be hanging out from now on.
54:46
SPEAKER_01: And also, this is the other cool thing.
54:48
SPEAKER_01: Like yesterday, I saw another thing on LinkedIn.
54:52
SPEAKER_01: One of the things that I'm doing over there is I'm looking for, actively looking for posts that people make that I either have something to contribute to, not necessarily in the comments, but I have something to say about it, or that rub that burr under my saddle.
55:08
SPEAKER_01: And there was somebody who had written something about being a shapeshifter as a leader and how it was diluting their leadership.
55:14
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, first of all, it was written by a dude.
55:16
SPEAKER_01: And so I'm like, okay, well, I have something to say about that.
55:19
SPEAKER_01: So I ended up starting a new newsletter.
55:23
SPEAKER_01: Like yesterday, I put out two issues.
55:25
SPEAKER_01: I put out a welcome in the next one.
55:27
SPEAKER_01: And you know, I've got probably at this point a hundred people who have subscribed to it already.
55:32
SPEAKER_01: But it turns out over there, I have something to say.
55:37
SPEAKER_01: And this all goes to a couple of days ago as I got out of bed.
55:41
SPEAKER_01: My guides often talk to me when I get out of bed.
55:43
SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that came through this week is that I've reached a point in my career, in my work, where I have to be a thought leader.
55:51
SPEAKER_01: And I do think that LinkedIn is a place for thought leadership.
55:55
SPEAKER_01: And so that's how I'm going to be engaging over there from now on as a thought leader.
56:00
SPEAKER_01: And that's what the newsletter is intended for.
56:02
SPEAKER_01: So I would like to thank Oracle Barbie for her service and send her blessings.
56:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I like that.
56:12
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I have been consistently doing LinkedIn, even though I think it's boring and I always make that joke.
56:19
SPEAKER_00: But I do think there's like value in having a presence there for that very reason because of the thought leadership element.
56:25
SPEAKER_00: And I think it does have this different like professional vibe to it that I do think it's good to have a presence there.
56:34
SPEAKER_01: And I do think too, Elise, that you and I both work with this group of women who are very accomplished educationally and professionally, and also are like behind the scenes studying, you know, they're in your metamorphosis method, or they're they're studying astrology or Reiki or something like that.
56:53
SPEAKER_01: And they're trying to figure out how do I integrate this professional who I am with these gifts that I have.
57:00
SPEAKER_01: You and I mastered that a million years ago at this point.
57:04
SPEAKER_01: So I think that that's who we're there for.
57:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
57:07
SPEAKER_01: I'm speaking for both of us in this moment, but you know what I mean.
57:10
SPEAKER_01: Like I agree with you.
57:12
SPEAKER_01: And so when I look at like my corporate colleagues and my corporate clients, they are those people.
57:18
SPEAKER_01: And so really I'm talking to them.
57:21
SPEAKER_01: My um newsletter is called The Work After the Work.
57:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that.
57:25
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
57:26
SPEAKER_01: Did you subscribe yet?
57:27
SPEAKER_01: You should subscribe.
57:28
SPEAKER_00: I will subscribe.
57:29
SPEAKER_00: Did you subscribe to mine?
57:30
SPEAKER_01: Because I have a LinkedIn newsletter.
57:32
SPEAKER_01: No, I didn't know because you know why I love you.
57:35
SPEAKER_01: But if you've got a newsletter on LinkedIn and you think LinkedIn is boring, well, don't do the thing, don't let them tell you do the thing.
57:42
SPEAKER_00: I do the thing, Robin.
57:44
SPEAKER_00: I do a million things.
57:46
SPEAKER_00: Like I was thinking this morning, because you know, a manifesting generator.
57:50
SPEAKER_00: I literally, so I lay down to meditate because I went to yoga this morning at 7:30 and I was so tired afterwards.
57:56
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, let me just lay down.
57:57
SPEAKER_00: I'll like meditate for a little bit.
57:58
SPEAKER_00: And of course, I meditate for 10 minutes.
58:01
SPEAKER_00: I have like 55 ideas.
58:03
SPEAKER_00: I have to get up and like start executing.
58:07
SPEAKER_00: So this is how I operate.
58:08
SPEAKER_00: Like the LinkedIn newsletter is like a blit, it's like a blink for me.
58:12
SPEAKER_01: It's like nothing.
58:13
SPEAKER_01: I love you, and I want to read your newsletter.
58:15
SPEAKER_01: And so, like, don't just blink it.
58:18
unknown: Okay.
58:19
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's I usually repurpose content from other things.
58:22
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, for sure.
58:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
58:24
SPEAKER_01: But you can then energetically, I mean, I'm not saying you have to, and this is not just for you, it's for all of us.
58:29
SPEAKER_01: It's like we don't have to create new content necessarily, but at least give it a new frequency.
58:33
SPEAKER_00: I do.
58:34
SPEAKER_00: It's much, it's like a professional article frequency in my newsletter.
58:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
58:39
SPEAKER_01: All right.
58:40
SPEAKER_01: Well, I will follow your LinkedIn newsletter and you will follow mine.
58:44
SPEAKER_01: And our listeners are invited to do the same and comment and like and share.
58:49
SPEAKER_01: If we want LinkedIn to be some place different than the boringest place on the internet, I think that we can do something about it.
58:57
SPEAKER_00: We can.
58:58
SPEAKER_00: I still feel a little weird being a proponent of it because I feel like a dork, but I will anyway.
59:05
SPEAKER_01: But you know what?
59:05
SPEAKER_01: Here's the thing that we have to remember about LinkedIn is that as I said, the accomplished women who are over there who are working their asses off in their corporate positions and they're in their careers, but they haven't figured out the bridge to go into their callings.
59:22
SPEAKER_01: That's who's over there.
59:23
SPEAKER_00: I agree with you.
59:24
SPEAKER_00: I listen, I'm gonna do it, but I'm also gonna make fun of it.
59:28
SPEAKER_01: Okay, I want you to because that's what I do.
59:32
SPEAKER_01: It's funny.
59:32
SPEAKER_01: I'll bet your top clients over there, the ones who are kind of circling you, are over there thinking I feel like a big dork over here on LinkedIn.
59:41
SPEAKER_01: Thank God Elisa's there making fun of it.
59:44
SPEAKER_01: I think you should do like a LinkedIn like live once a week and make fun of it.
59:48
SPEAKER_00: Somebody should like make light of the situation over there.
59:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, there was like a there was like a really funny video, like like reel that somebody did, like making fun of LinkedIn of like how people post on LinkedIn.
1:00:02
SPEAKER_00: It was a while ago that I saw it, but it was so funny.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_00: Like it was about, I'm feeling great because I just got this like promotion or whatever.
1:00:11
SPEAKER_00: It was it was very funny.
1:00:12
SPEAKER_00: I can't remember what it was, but it was like exactly how people talk on LinkedIn.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_00: And it's just yeah, it just feels like all of the dworks that I don't know.
1:00:25
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
1:00:26
SPEAKER_01: They're my you know, they're my people.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_01: I'm one of them.
1:00:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:00:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I understand now when you said that I'm one of the cool kids, even if I'm from South Dakota.
1:00:35
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm one of the cool kids on LinkedIn, and you can hang out with me, and you will not feel like a dork.
1:00:43
SPEAKER_01: Wow, you will, but it'll be the coolest dork on the internet.
1:00:47
SPEAKER_00: LinkedIn cool again.
1:00:48
SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say again, but I don't think it was ever cool.
1:00:51
SPEAKER_01: I don't think it ever was.
1:00:52
SPEAKER_00: Make LinkedIn cool for the first time ever.
1:00:55
SPEAKER_01: For the first time.
1:00:56
SPEAKER_01: We could get hats instead of MAGA.
1:00:58
SPEAKER_01: Make LinkedIn cool for the first time.
1:01:02
SPEAKER_01: All right, I gotta go.
1:01:04
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I love you.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_00: Love you too.
1:01:06
SPEAKER_00: Bye.
1:01:07
SPEAKER_00: See you later.
1:01:09
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
1:01:11
SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to follow the show on Apple or Spotify.
1:01:14
SPEAKER_00: Leave a review and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
1:01:19
SPEAKER_00: When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit that you can apply to joining anything new in my world.
1:01:27
SPEAKER_00: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at elise underscore breeds.
1:01:32
SPEAKER_00: Make sure you download my Clear Trauma Cheat Sheet at elisebreeds.com.
1:01:36
SPEAKER_00: See you next time.