Latest / In His Circle / When Life Feels Out of Control: Finding Peace Beyond Your Own Understanding | Ep 32

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When Life Feels Out of Control: Finding Peace Beyond Your Own Understanding | Ep 32 · In His Circle

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to In His Circle, where women gather to share life stories, discover authentic community, and grow in faith.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Tiffany Windsor.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm Heather Brigstock.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Heather, I cannot wait to hear what you want to talk about today.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: I am excited to be able to share it with you, Tiffany, because it's something that resurrects its head in our family all the time.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking about it this week because you had shared with me about different topics and you said, hey, if something comes up that is pertinent or you feel is applicable, then let's go ahead and talk about it.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I have three kids.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: They're 25, 22, and 18, and we run a multidimensional business.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: So this is a topic that comes up a lot of times around the dinner table or even when we're talking to customers, and they people don't usually verbalize it like this.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: They usually don't come up and say, my world feels out of control.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: It usually comes in the form of a rant, or they walk in in the morning and you can just see that there's been a series of sequences or days where things are just out of control.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Life is full of transition.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: We are in transition right now.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Most people are in transition.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's a funny thing.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: My kids will say, I don't know what I'm going to be when I grow up.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, nobody does.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: You just keep going to the next thing.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: You take the next logical step.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: But life is full of transition.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the challenges I think that people have, and I struggle with it myself.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: So this is going to be a good podcast, very apropos for right now.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: But one of the things that when we're in transition, people just feel like their world is crumbling.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: And when I hear those things, I can relate.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so maybe some of our listeners are feeling that way.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: They're feeling like the wheels are coming off.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe it's family or job or circumstances, living situations.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's whatever it could be, or maybe it's all of it.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is the cataclysmic epitome, right?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Of when you feel like your world is out of control.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's when it's not just one thing.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's when multiple things in your life are falling apart.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it's that lack of control.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know what to turn.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times people will just take their hands off the wheel and let the car go where it goes.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I was thinking about that.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, there is no perfect answer.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't give you absolute solutions to the issues that are pressing you right now.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I can tell you there's a few things that we have learned and the Lord has taught me that really help in times like these.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the first things that I'll tell my kids or someone that is struggling with this, I'll say, when things are falling all around you, when the bricks are falling, you don't know what to do, the first thing to do is control what you can.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it seems so trite and so simple, but controlling the things that you can gives you a semblance of order.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe controlling the things you can means that you set your alarm and you get up when your alarm goes off.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: And you can control what you're going to have for breakfast.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you can control when you're going to bed.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: Or for some of us, you can control how many calories you eat today.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: You can't, you can't fix the weight issue, but you can control how many calories I eat today.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: I can control what I'm listening to, the things that I put in my mind, whether it's through a screen or through your earbuds, through the television, those kind of things you can control.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I would say to you, not only taking control of those things, but once you've identified them, go ahead and structure your day around it.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: So what I would say, when things fall out of control, make sure that you're getting up early in the morning and that you're reading your Bible.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure that you're praying to the God of creation who knows your name, that can give you a wisdom guidance and is walking you through this.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure that you're eating regularly and you're like, oh, that's such a stupid thing.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure I'm eating regularly.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you can control that and you can control what goes in your mouth.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure that you're drinking water and lots of it.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Drink water.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure that you are surrounding yourself with the right kind of people.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like, well, you don't know who I work with.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, when you're at work, be intentional.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're not with a good crowd, try to be able to pull back or do things that help you adjust that so you're not immersed in a cycle of negativity.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure that you go to bed at a regular time.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure that you're getting some exercise, that you put your face to the sun for a few minutes.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Those are things that you can do that help you control yourself.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then the next day, do it again.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And what you'll find is that little by little, you'll start to get control back.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And that's essentially the problem that most people have when the world is falling out.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: They're out of control.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: They are newsflash.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: None of us are really in control anyway.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: The Lord is in control of our days, but we lose the semblance of control that we think that we have.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so by directing the things that we can, it helps.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's so funny.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: We were talking about the story, and I don't know that it fits in completely, but we've talked about it so many times in our family the last few days in Acts.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Peter is in prison.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's Acts 4, something like that.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Peter's in prison and it's not looking good for him.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: And the church is praying for him, but he's got lots of guards surrounding him.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: And an angel appears in the prison.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so interesting to me because the angel tells Peter, he kind of, as the Bible says, he kind of smacks him on the head, smacks him on the hip or something like that, and he says, Peter, put on your shoes.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then the angel opens the gate.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so the lesson that I take away from this is that Peter is supposed to do the obvious and simple things that he can do.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: The angel didn't put on Peter's shoes.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: He asked Peter to put on his shoes.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: But then the angel or God did the thing that Peter couldn't do.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we have to remember.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: God is going to do the impossible.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: We can't.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: But the practical and the things that are in our hands, that's what we can do today.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: In listening to you talk about this topic, what came to mind for me is your perspective was someone recognizing that they're out of control.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And my mind completely went to what happens when you observe someone who's going through a crash.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I had an experience through a family member this week.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: So usually I don't work with men.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So this has been an interesting time for me because he was crashing.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so I said, Hey, can I reach out to him?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: He's been on my heart.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I reached out to him and I said, Can you just start talking to me?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Just tell me what's going on right now.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on in your mind?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so awesome because it gave him an open door to simply start talking.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And we got to the point where he was finally able to articulate.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: He says, I am feeling spiritually empty.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: So then I knew what steps to start taking to try and help someone who was feeling out of control.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: So there's two perspectives of recognizing yourself or recognizing this in someone else.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is so good.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that is definitely one of your superpowers.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: I will say that, but you are so good at being able to get people to speak.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not surprised to hear that, Tiffany, because one of your superpowers is drawing, um, drawing the truth out of people.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: You're so good at being able to get people to speak and you ask the right questions and then you stop and listen at the right time.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: I've been the recipient.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen my family be the recipient of this so much.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: You're really, really good at that.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times for us, we find the root of a problem that we didn't even know it was.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: Through walking through that with you, you're able to identify the root like you did for this person that they probably were not expecting that to be the core root of their situation.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, they weren't.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And his partner would not have been able to pull that out of him.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so we developed an action plan.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I love where you talked about control what you can.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So that's exactly what I did with him is we started an action plan.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to get him connected with a local church and daily texts back and forth, making him accountable, but feeling supported.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: It was an interesting journey to go through and then have you talk about this was what was on your mind today to see how you can look at this from so many different perspectives.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think one thing that you said is absolutely critical, and I probably didn't hit it hard enough.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so glad that you did with the person that you're you're giving some counsel to is the number one thing when you feel out of control is go to the one that holds the world in his hands.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: I can't say that enough.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: When my world feels absolutely crazy and I finally hit bottom, you'll find me in my closet with a notebook in my Bible because that's ground zero.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: And if we go back to the one who knows how many hairs are on our head, who give in whose hand our breath is, that's where it starts.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: We have a back to the garden experience and we seek the Lord.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times people will say, Oh, the Lord is so far from me.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I can guarantee you the Lord hasn't moved you have, because the Bible says that if you seek the Lord, he will be found of you.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: That is a promise from God.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Seek me and I will turn to thee.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: And when you seek me with all of your heart.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: So seek after the Lord, hunger and thirst after righteousness.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Crave God's word.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: Just get into the Bible, spend some time thinking about Him, write down your thoughts and your frustrations.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: I promise you, the Lord is near to those who seek him.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: You'll find that by adding some structure to your life, but first and foremost, seeking the Lord, it will not be long before the ship starts to turn around.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: You will gain some traction, your shoulders will go back and you'll feel stronger.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: Your face will head towards the sun and you'll be stepping in the right way again soon.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for sharing all of your insights on this topic today.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't wait to see what feedback we have from our listeners on this because this affects everyone.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not that the other topics that we talk about don't affect everyone, but this is one that a lot of people can be afraid to try and tackle because it's easier to stay stuck in the chaos of your life than it is to try and put order and control the things you can.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: That is so true.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: That is so true.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: And God is a God of order.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: He is not a God of confusion, he is not a God of disorder, obviously.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: Look at creation.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: He's systematic.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Look at the human eye.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: He is a God of great intricate design, and he's designed that for our lives.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: Not militant, but he has a plan.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: And the chaos comes when we truly when we get take our eyes off Jesus and we start to look at the waves.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what it is, putting our eyes back on the Lord and not looking at the waves.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's so good.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Heather, thank you once again for taking time out of your very busy schedule here at Southwater Manor.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so appreciative that you are sharing with us.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's an absolute joy to be with you, Tiffany.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's a favorite part of my week.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: As a reminder, you can find Heather at Southwater Manor in Gallatin, Tennessee, where you will also find Bistro 562 and Coffee House, where you can enjoy breakfast and lunch, hold your special event, stay in the unique restored guest houses, or shop at the Artisan Marketplace.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you would like to connect with us, leave a comment, or share your own God moments, we'd love to see you over on Substack, in HisCircle.substack.com.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's where you'll find more articles, the In His Circle Podcast, and our growing community.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: You can join us for free or subscribe for expanded content.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Before we say goodbye, remember this.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: God sees you, he loves you, and he is faithfully leading your next step.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Keep reading his word, keep listening for his voice, and keep walking in faith.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're all learning to walk faithfully one step at a time.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, may God's peace be with you.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Tiffany Windsor.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us in His Circle.