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The Most Dangerous Lie You Believe About Yourself · The Higher Pursuit Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: You were formed with a purpose.
0:03
SPEAKER_00: With a plan.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: You might have been an unplanned pregnancy from your parents, but you were not unplanned to God.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: He planned you before the foundations of the earth.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: Yes, Lisa says a divine design.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh, hallelujah.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: Ronaldo says a new subscriber because you're helping me a lot.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: Praise God.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: I am so glad for that.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: So glad.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's so easy for us as humans to root our identity on the shifting sand of opinions, of our experiences, our own logic.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: But my goal for this live stream is to help us turn on the light to see if maybe where we've allowed something other than the identity that God created for us to be governing our thoughts and our motivations.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: And we're going to learn some tools for how to repurpose our broken identity into the one that God designed for us.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: Hey there, friends, I'm Cecily LaChapelle, and this is the Higher Pursuit Podcast.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad that you're tuned into this podcast where we talk specifically about things that will encourage you and strengthen you in your pursuit of the Lord.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: For more content, check out our ministry website at HigherPursuit Ministries.com.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: You can also find me on YouTube at Cecily LaChapelle with Higher Pursuit Ministries.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: Okay, now let's dive into the podcast.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: My mother has a picture of me at about four years old, tanned from the Florida sun, dressed in a bright floral, probably Lily Pulitzer dress, and I'm dancing my feet off with my dad.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: I had been dancing so much, giving it my all, that my little blonde bangs are stuck to my forehead.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: I had no awareness, probably, that anyone was taking a picture.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: And I can tell you, I wouldn't have cared anyway.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: As a child, I was a confident little dynamo who loved to dance with her daddy.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: I would have danced all by myself, and I didn't care who watched.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was because I was an only child who lived in a neighborhood where there really weren't that many kids to play with.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: So I spent a lot of time by myself.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: And most of my time was with adults like my parents and my parents' friends, or maybe my parents just raised me in a really affirming way.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: But however it happened, I came out of my young childhood years with a very confident and happy view of myself.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't shy around anyone, adults or children.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: I was the child that would just walk up to another kid and say, Hi, you want to go play?
3:07
SPEAKER_00: But then came sixth grade and my first experience with you know what, mean girls and bullying.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: There were two girls in my class, and they decided that they hated me and that their whole goal for the year was to make my life miserable, humiliating me, embarrassing me, making me put back into a corner.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, I was like a caged animal at that point.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: I ended up by saying stupid things and doing stupid things.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: I just didn't know how to fight.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: I didn't know how to fight back.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: And my identity shattered into a million pieces.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: And as a result of that, my middle and high school years were filled with insecurity.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: I remember I had a full-length mirror in my bedroom.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: And I still remember looking in that mirror thinking I was fat, hating the way I looked, my hair was never good, I was hypercritical about everything I did, from my outfits to the way it performed in sports, academics, music, drama.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: And I would I remember feeling insanely self-aware around my peers.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't get out of my own head.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: So somewhere between that little girl dancing without a care in the world and the middle schooler questioning everything about herself, I learned something dangerous.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: I learned to let other people tell me who I was.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: And maybe if we're honest, that's not just my story.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: It's a human story.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: It might be your story.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: So hi everyone, and welcome to the Higher Pursuit live stream and podcast.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: In case you're just discovering us, this is a place where we bring prophetic clarity to the Word of God so you can apply it to your life, walk in freedom and be established in faith that works.
5:30
SPEAKER_00: So good to see you, Lisa.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for saying hi.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Tell me in the chat if you're here.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: Let me see.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: If again, like I said last week, if your handle is something like I love dogs 1958, if you could just say, hi, this is Sue or hi, this is Dan, that would be super helpful.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: So I don't have to call you I love dogs 1958.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: But tonight we are talking about repurposing a broken identity, not managing it, not coping with it, but letting God define us according to his eternal wisdom and plan for who he created me, created me and you to be.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: So you just heard one of my stories, but maybe you didn't experience bullying by your peers.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: All right, so I have Ronaldo.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: He's here joining us.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for the compliment, Ronaldo.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: Let's keep it completely appropriate.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: All right, so you just heard one of my stories, but maybe you didn't experience bullying, like I said, but maybe you lived through emotional abuse from parents, or a spouse, or maybe even your children.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you were in a relationship where you were rejected by somebody you thought was your ride or die.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you're in a situation where your boss is hypercritical and it has destroyed your confidence and is breaking your identity.
7:07
SPEAKER_00: When our identity breaks, what happens?
7:11
SPEAKER_00: We're left holding a thousand shards of what used to be a confident reflection of ourselves that we liked or at the very least tolerated.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: There's a new image staring back at us.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: And every time we see it, we say things about ourselves like, I'm not enough.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: Maybe something is wrong with me.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: I guess I just have to perform perfectly to be loved.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: Have you heard any of those?
7:46
SPEAKER_00: You got bullied.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: Wow, that is so hard.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: I know exactly how that feels.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm so sorry that that happened to you.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: For me, throughout middle school and high school, I tried to reconstruct that confident identity.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: I tried to grab it back.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: But what happened, what broke, broke on the inside.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: And I couldn't fix that.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: So I had to use things on the outside to try to fix my identity.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: So I tried things like relationships with boys or trying to have the perfect outfit, keeping up with the latest fashion, whatever.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Then I tried being in the popular crowd.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you know the harder you try that, the farther you get from the popular crowd.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: And then I moved on to substances and then rebellion.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: Tell me in the chat if you can identify with any of those things.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: And what did you try?
8:50
SPEAKER_00: How did you try to fix your broken identity?
8:53
SPEAKER_00: Was it through external things, other relationships, or substances, or trying to find maybe another religion or something that would ground you, that would speak to you, that would make you feel confident in who you were.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: When my identity broke, I didn't just feel rejected or betrayed by all the people in my class that I thought were my friends.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: I felt erased.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: Everything that I thought was true about me seemed to have been stolen during that sixth grade year.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: The loss of my confident and trusting, yes, Linda says all of them.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: I think those are those are the common things that we tend to do.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: We tend to grasp at those external things to try to bolster our identity or try to recreate an identity.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: So that, like I was saying, the loss of my confident and trusting identity, that that loss didn't happen overnight.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: The breaking happened, but my identity gradually seeped out of the emotional bullet holes left by bullying.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: So here's what we need to understand trauma, loss, and brokenness form our identity into something that God never intended.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: And then we begin to believe the lies that those events or the people, the relationships, the loss is telling us.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: For example, when I went through that bullying, I began to believe lies like that I was deficient, it was weird, that I wasn't good enough, that I had to hide the real me from people, or else I was gonna run the risk of rejection and mockery.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: So, like I told you in the beginning in that story, I was like dancing my feet off with my dad and just free, carefree dancing with him.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: I became the opposite of that.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: I became someone that didn't want to talk.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: I became someone that got anxiety when it was time to go to a school dance.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: I was someone who had massive anxiety.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: If I had to sing in front of people, if I had to play the piano, I would literally blank out.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: I would have that song down cold.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: And in a recital, I would go completely blank.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: And it was it was horrifying.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: It was because I did not believe in myself.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: I bel and I spent so much time wearing a mask.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: Have any of you ever put on a mask?
12:08
SPEAKER_00: Is that something you you have done or you still do in certain situations?
12:13
SPEAKER_00: Maybe in your work situation, you have to wear a mask because your identity is that you're not smart enough.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: If your boss or your colleagues really knew what you were like, you they would think, how did that how'd you get hired?
12:30
SPEAKER_00: I've had moments like that.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: Kate O'Neill says, yes.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe, you know, a common place people wear masks is the church.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: People think that people feel like if I'm the real me in church, then lightning's gonna strike and the whole building's gonna burn down.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: That couldn't be farther from the truth.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: But when our identity is rooted in lies that we are not worthy, we're not lovable, and we don't even know if we have a purpose, then it's so easy to just slip on that mask and try to be what everybody wants us to be, what we think everybody expects of us.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: So tell me in the chat, have you believed lies about your identity based on either what people have said or what what you have done, what what has happened to you, and what lies, what were some of those lies?
13:29
SPEAKER_00: Did you believe the lie maybe that you weren't worthy, or that you were weird, or that you're deficient?
13:40
SPEAKER_00: Respond in the chat if you if you can, just shoot out one word if you feel comfortable doing that.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: And so as you're typing, yeah, Ronaldo is the OG 17 says, Yes, I have.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: I I think I think we all have.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: So as we dive into this topic of repurposing our broken identity, let's define what identity is.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: Identity is the internal narrative we all have that answers these very important questions.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: Stephanie said unworthiness.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: I still struggle with this.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for sharing that, Stephanie.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: That is really key because a lot of us struggle with that.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: And I know that's gonna set a lot of people free hearing that they're not the only one struggling with unworthiness.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: We can struggle with unworthiness in a relationship where we feel like I'm not worthy of having a guy or a gal like this, or I'm not worthy of people at church thinking I'm a good person, or I'm not worthy of this job, I'm not really smart enough, I'm not really equipped enough.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: But but the worst unworthiness we can ever feel is feeling unworthy of the love of God, feeling unworthy of what the cross has done for us.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: So, identity is that internal narrative that answers the questions, who am I?
15:21
SPEAKER_00: Am I valuable?
15:22
SPEAKER_00: That goes to that whole worth thing.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: Do I belong?
15:28
SPEAKER_00: Scientists have shown that infants that are never touched, most of those infants will die.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: Even if they're fed, their their diapers are changed, they have to know, they have to feel loved, they have to know that they belong to someone.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: It only has to be one person, but we all have a need to belong, to be a part of something, and then identity also answers the question: do I matter?
16:02
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is really sad.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: It is really sad when babies are are allowed to just perish because they're not picked up, and what we all need to know is that God formed us intentionally, God actually wrote our days.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: Now, we have free will, but God wrote a purpose and a plan for us.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: He architected us, he designed our purpose before our performance.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: And guys, that better set us all free.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: It's just to prove it.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: Let me read Psalm 139, 13 to 16 for us.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go over here and I am gonna put these on the screen in Jesus' name.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so here is 139, 13, and 14.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: And then going down to 15.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: My frame was not hidden for you from you when I was being made in the secret, intimately woven in the depths of the earth, not in the depths of the mother, the depths of the earth.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: So we were created in the heart and mind of God before two cells of our parents ever came together.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: And then verse 16 your eyes saw my unformed substance.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: Pause.
17:40
SPEAKER_00: God's eyes saw what?
17:43
SPEAKER_00: Our unformed substance.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: How can God see our unformed substance?
17:51
SPEAKER_00: There's nothing to see.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh, but there is.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: Just the way an architect sees a completed house before there's ever a single line drawn on paper.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: That house existed in the mind of the architect.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: Every bathroom, every door, every window, everything existed in the mind of the architect before there was one single line drawn.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: And you existed in the mind of God before anything could ever be visible.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: And then the psalmist goes on to say, in your book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me, as when there was yet none of them.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: Crazy.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: That is so cool.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: So that now you can see that you were formed with a purpose, with a plan.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: You might have been an unplanned pregnancy from your parents, but you were not unplanned to God.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: He planned you before the foundations of the earth.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: Yes, Lisa says, a divine design.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: Oh, hallelujah.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: Ronaldo says, a new subscriber because you're helping me a lot.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: Praise God.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: I am so glad for that.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: So glad.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's so easy for us as humans to root our identity on the shifting sand of opinions, of our experiences, our own logic.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: But my goal for this live stream is to help us turn on the light to see if maybe where we've allowed something other than the identity that God created for us to be governing our thoughts and our motivations.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: And we're going to learn some tools for how to repurpose our broken identity into the one that God designed for us.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: So many of you might know I wrote a book.
19:47
SPEAKER_00: It's called Repurpose Your Pain.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: And hang on, I'll grab my chapter.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: There we go.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: There it is.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: So that's what the book looks like.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: Repurpose your pain.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: And in the first chapter called Repurpose Your Broken Identity, I use one of my favorite guys in the Bible, Joseph, as an example of what a solid, faith-filled identity looks like, even in the life of a young man who went through incredible trauma and rejection.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: So I'm not going to be able to go through the whole story.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: You can find Joseph's story in the Bible, in the Old Testament, in Genesis chapters 37 to 50.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: But essentially, in the story of Joseph, the parts that I brought out in the chapter were the fact that when Joseph was a young boy, his dad gave him what's called a coat of many colors.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: But we can say it's called a cloak because it came over him.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: He wore it over him, a cloak of many colors.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: Well, then later on, after he'd been sold into slavery in Egypt and he's working diligently for a man named Potiphar, Potiphar's wife starts hitting on him, and he is going to stay pure.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: He doesn't want to, you know, injure or betray Potiphar.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: So he says to the wife on many occasions, look, I am not going to touch you.
21:14
SPEAKER_00: You're my boss's wife.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: And so one day she grabs Joseph by the cloak he was then wearing, which was not the cloak of many colors, grabs that cloak, he runs out, and she's left holding it.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: So she holds up that cloak as an accusation, saying, He attacked me.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: So now that cloak becomes a lie against him.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: And then finally, as an adult, after spending a decade or more in an Egyptian prison and being honest and keeping his faith in God, he is brought before Pharaoh to interpret a couple dreams.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: And he interprets those dreams and gives him godly, wise strategy.
21:57
SPEAKER_00: So Pharaoh puts a ring on his finger and another.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Cloak, and this is a cloak that shows his position as second only to second in the kingdom only to Pharaoh.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: So here's a quote from the book.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: This is why I want to bring all that up.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: The cloak that Joseph received from his father represented the fact that he was loved and special and that his future would be tied to his father's favor.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: But as we know, he lost that cloak.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: Then years later, when Potiphar's wife accuses Joseph, she does it by holding up another cloak.
22:32
SPEAKER_00: This time, the cloak represented an identity that was a lie.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: Joseph was not a molester or an adulterer.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: But this cloak became false evidence that put him in an Egyptian prison for years with no hope of release.
22:47
SPEAKER_00: And lastly, we have the cloak of honor, the one that Pharaoh places on Joseph after more than a decade of slavery and imprisonment, after developing a character that would seek God and learn how to hear his voice, and after serving with integrity and excellence as both a slave and a prisoner.
23:07
SPEAKER_00: The first cloak didn't make Joseph a Hebrew who loved God any more than the second cloak made him an adulterer or the last one made him a hero.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: Clothing is external to us.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: True identity must come from within.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: Like Joseph, we can take the broken pieces of our lives and repurpose them into our identity as a child of God.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: So that's the end of the quote from my book.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about this for a second.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: Cloaks that other people put on us in real terms, what would that be in your life?
24:01
SPEAKER_00: What would that look like?
24:04
SPEAKER_00: It would be identities that other people try to put on you.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you were raised in a home where you it was not okay to be less than perfect.
24:15
SPEAKER_00: So that identity is an identity of perfectionism.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: You leave the home, but you still have that inner dialogue going on that I have to do everything right.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: I can't score anything less than 100.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: Every single thing has to be perfect.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you grew up in a household where things were out of control and it was mayhem.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: And so the identity that others unwittingly put on you was that you had to control everything.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: You grew up in an alcoholic home, that would surely be how you would come out of that.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you were criticized all the time.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: And so you, the identity that was put on you is that you're not good enough, you're not lovable, you're weird.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: But then there are cloaks we put on ourselves.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: Here's one I can raise my hand for is the imposter syndrome.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: Anybody ever dealt with that?
25:09
SPEAKER_00: People say, Oh, you know, you did such a great job with that.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: And you're you're like, oh no, no, it really wasn't that great.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: Now it was really no, oh no.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: I gosh, I did so many things wrong.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh no, you you can't mean that.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: Or somebody tells you that they love you and you think, well, you don't really know me yet.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: Wait till you get to know me, then you will love me.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: That's imposter syndrome.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: Or unworthiness, like Stephanie mentioned, or deficiency or brokenness, those are all identities or cloaks that we put on ourselves.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: So tell me in the chat, can you think of cloaks that people have put on you in order to identify you?
25:54
SPEAKER_00: Or what are some cloaks you have put on yourself in order to grasp at some sort of identity?
26:03
SPEAKER_00: You know what's sad?
26:05
SPEAKER_00: It's sometimes we'll grasp at a bad identity to at least have one.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: Because the last thing that we want is to be not important, not valuable, not worthy of breath.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: So in one word, what is a cloak that you've worn?
26:29
SPEAKER_00: Imposter?
26:30
SPEAKER_00: Performer?
26:32
SPEAKER_00: Failure?
26:34
SPEAKER_00: The strong one?
26:36
SPEAKER_00: Perfectionist?
26:39
SPEAKER_00: Type it in the chat.
26:41
SPEAKER_00: Let me know.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: I am excited to see your comments.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: What are those words?
26:49
SPEAKER_00: While you're typing, I just want to say this.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: When we establish our identity in the wrong thing, the ground underneath us is unstable.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: Protector.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: Oh yep.
27:05
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: That's big.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: That's big.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: Protector.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: Man, that's heavy.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: Because if you're everybody's protector, then you don't get to sleep.
27:19
SPEAKER_00: You don't get to rest.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: You've got to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: You've got to always be 10 steps, 20 steps ahead of everything that could possibly go wrong.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: That is so exhausting.
27:33
SPEAKER_00: I've been there.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: I have been there.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: I've walked that path.
27:39
SPEAKER_00: And when you are the parent of an addict, you live that life that became my identity.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: Until I realized I can't.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: I can't be their protector.
27:54
SPEAKER_00: God is their protector.
27:56
SPEAKER_00: But man, that was that was honest, Lisa.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for sharing that.
28:00
SPEAKER_00: So now let's turn our attention to some of the common signs that your identity is broken.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: Here's some anxiety about other people's opinions.
28:12
SPEAKER_00: You can feel really good about something, and some person says one negative thing.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: This just happened to me actually recently.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, I had a speaking engagement, and like immediately after I spoke, I got negative feedback.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: Like literally, I hadn't even sat down, taken a breath, sipped my water, and I got negative feedback.
28:33
SPEAKER_00: And it spun me out.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: I I literally felt like one of those people in NASCAR.
28:40
SPEAKER_00: I was like my adrenaline had been going all day long.
28:44
SPEAKER_00: And then I finally delivered this message.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: My adrenaline, I felt like I was this NASCAR, and then I was like, ooh, and man, other people's opinions can take us down fast and hard.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: But we can't let that be our identity, right?
29:00
SPEAKER_00: There's a difference between being reeled by somebody's opinion for a moment, but then letting that identify us.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: Those are two different things.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: Well, what about the identity?
29:12
SPEAKER_00: Um what about the attack of comparison?
29:15
SPEAKER_00: That's terrible.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: That's so big right now.
29:19
SPEAKER_00: And social media triggers, perfectionism, people pleasing, shame spirals, striving, feelings that your life has no purpose.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: For me, regarding the social media, I've actually gone through seasons where I realize that social media is trapping me back into a broken identity, sort of like uh like a rodeo, a cowboy with a lasso, and I'm like that little calf that's just trying to like run for my life from the drama and trauma that social media can create, the comparison and the striving and the perfectionism and the all of it that comes with social media.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: And so when I sense that happening, I put myself in a social media timeout because that beast of a of comparison is so subtle.
30:13
SPEAKER_00: And for me, it can be a real trap.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: What about you?
30:17
SPEAKER_00: Anyone struggle with social media or is that just me?
30:21
SPEAKER_00: Am I hanging out alone here?
30:23
SPEAKER_00: Be honest.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: Do you struggle more with comparison or people pleasing?
30:30
SPEAKER_00: Type a C if you feel like you struggle more with comparison.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: Type a P if you think you struggle more with people pleasing.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Linda says, me too.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: Yep, comparison can be, ooh, it's real.
30:46
SPEAKER_00: The struggle is real.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: And it's so important, guys, that we take an honest look at our identity because what we believe about ourselves, a P.
30:59
SPEAKER_00: Linda says she's a P.
31:00
SPEAKER_00: People please her.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: Lisa says it depends.
31:03
SPEAKER_00: Stephanie says C for comparison.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: I think I would put myself in the C category.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: I think that would be definitely the one that I struggle with the most.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: I used to be probably like a quadruple P in the people pleasing.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: But over the years, I think, and Kate says both.
31:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: We could, you can be both, that is for sure.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: So, like I said, what we believe about ourselves shapes every decision we make.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: So that's why we look at our identity.
31:41
SPEAKER_00: Let me say that again.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I just almost sneezed.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: What we believe about ourselves shapes every decision we make.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: And when the foundation of your identity is cracked, every choice you make will eventually reflect that fracture.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: That's why effort alone can never repair what was originally defined wrong.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: So in our church this year, our vision sentence for 2026 is restoring the foundations.
32:17
SPEAKER_00: We've been reminded by various teachers and messages so far this year that if our foundation is misaligned, or if it's sitting on sand, then everything we build on top of that is going to be misaligned or unstable, right?
32:35
SPEAKER_00: So when it comes to restoring the foundations of your identity in Christ, sometimes we have to go back to the beginning and get re-rooted in the truth of who Jesus is.
32:50
SPEAKER_00: We have to get re-rooted in the truth of how who Jesus is impacts us and who we are because of who he is.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: Broken identity isn't going to get healed by trying harder, it's only going to get healed by being defined by the one who designed us.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: So in my book, I share three keys that I used and still use to repurpose my broken identity into my identity in Christ.
33:25
SPEAKER_00: And when I say used and still use, it's because I don't think we ever completely arrive at having walking in the total fullness of who we are in Christ.
33:42
SPEAKER_00: I say that for a few reasons.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: I think that there is a fullness of our identity that we are not going to know until we see Jesus face to face.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: Because we live in the flesh, because we live in this natural realm, there is a slight limitation.
34:04
SPEAKER_00: We see through a glass dimly the total reality of the eternal person we've been created to be, in the same way that we see through a glass dimly the total reality of the risen Christ.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: But that doesn't mean that we can't walk more and more every day in new revelation.
34:31
SPEAKER_00: And if we think that repurposing our broken identity is a one and done, then I think we're going to fall short of all that God has for us.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: And so I continue to use these tools.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: How do I use these tools?
34:48
SPEAKER_00: Well, generally something will happen.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: For instance, that speaking engagement I was just talking about, when I started to feel like I was having a fiery spin out like a NASCAR car, I realized, okay, I just got triggered.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: Why did that sting so badly?
35:06
SPEAKER_00: Why is this rocking me so much?
35:09
SPEAKER_00: Why can't I stop thinking about this?
35:12
SPEAKER_00: Why am I willing to allow a comment which actually was meant to be beneficial and was beneficial?
35:22
SPEAKER_00: Why am I allowing this comment to make me feel like a complete failure?
35:27
SPEAKER_00: Is that really my identity?
35:29
SPEAKER_00: Am I a failure?
35:31
SPEAKER_00: No.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: So I had to go back to these keys and I had to go back to reminding myself who I am in Christ.
35:41
SPEAKER_00: So we're going to talk about those keys.
35:43
SPEAKER_00: But before I share them with you, I do want to press pause for just a couple tribe announcements.
35:49
SPEAKER_00: So, first of all, next week we will not have the live stream.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: Okay, just next week only.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: Then I'll be back because I'm going to be enjoying some RR with my hubby in sunny Florida.
36:02
SPEAKER_00: Hing clap emoji, hing clap emoji, palm tree emoji.
36:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
36:08
SPEAKER_00: But we'll be back the following week.
36:10
SPEAKER_00: So make sure to be looking for the Facebook event or the email in your inbox.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: And speaking of emails, I just joined Substack.
36:23
SPEAKER_00: And I want to just tell you a little bit about Substack so there's no confusion.
36:29
SPEAKER_00: So I don't really know all that Substack is and does, but essentially it is a platform for people who are writers, content creators, and now even more recently, podcasters like me.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: And so it's a wonderful place to build community.
36:48
SPEAKER_00: And I'm very excited to build community there.
36:52
SPEAKER_00: I can put courses up there.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: I could put guides and ebooks up there.
36:57
SPEAKER_00: I can um I've already uploaded my podcast there.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: So my podcast episodes are there for your listening pleasure if you don't know how to find me other places.
37:07
SPEAKER_00: And um, there's so much more that I can do.
37:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm just getting started.
37:11
SPEAKER_00: So I can write long form content like a blog, or I can do little short snippets of encouragement or something I was just thinking about, or I could post a crazy picture.
37:23
SPEAKER_00: There's just a whole bunch of things that Substack does.
37:26
SPEAKER_00: So if you go to my Substack and subscribe, you'll get notified every time that I'm doing something new.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: Also, I will get your email if you agree.
37:39
SPEAKER_00: If you check the box that I'm allowed to have your email, then I can add you to my email list and make sure that you don't miss the link for the YouTube live.
37:51
SPEAKER_00: So the YouTube live stream link will be delivered to your inbox so you don't have to go search for it.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: It'll be there a half hour at least before we start.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: So it's so important that you go to sub go to Substack.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: And let me see, let me get to my little thing here.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna put my Substack.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: There we go.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: So that is my um newsletter on Substack.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: So you can subscribe there and it's Cecily LaChapelle.substack.com.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: That's how you're going to get to it.
38:26
SPEAKER_00: And that's I would love it if you would just go there and subscribe.
38:31
SPEAKER_00: So Substack is free for you, the user, and you can manage how many emails you get in your settings.
38:39
SPEAKER_00: So if you feel like you're getting too many emails already, you don't want to get all those emails, you can choose that as well.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: So you can still subscribe and not get emails from me.
38:48
SPEAKER_00: You when you when you sign up, you'll see all of the different um the different things that you can check.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: You can toggle yes or toggle no.
38:59
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so enough about that.
39:02
SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about key number one for repurposing our broken identity.
39:08
SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna fly through these quickly.
39:10
SPEAKER_00: The first one is bring the loss to the Lord.
39:14
SPEAKER_00: And there's two parts to this first key.
39:16
SPEAKER_00: First of all, we ask the Holy Spirit to shine the light on any events that fractured our identity.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: And hold on one second.
39:26
SPEAKER_00: I want to get to my comments.
39:29
SPEAKER_00: And all right.
39:31
SPEAKER_00: Now, what I want to do is give us 15 seconds of silence.
39:37
SPEAKER_00: And I know this is probably gonna sound super awkward as a silent piece in a podcast, but I hope that everybody listening to this podcast version of the live stream are tracking right along with us.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: So, in this just quarter minute of silence, I want you to identify an event or a relationship from your past that contributed to the fracturing of your identity.
40:03
SPEAKER_00: So you can start thinking now and then without any details, just type done when you've identified an event in your heart.
40:12
SPEAKER_01: So 15 seconds starting now.
40:33
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
40:35
SPEAKER_01: anybody got an event?
40:39
SPEAKER_00: So the second part, after we identify that event and how it fractured our identity, we bring that loss to the Lord.
40:50
SPEAKER_00: All right, we got a few people saying done.
40:52
SPEAKER_00: Good.
40:52
SPEAKER_00: Linda, Stephanie, very good.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: So we bring that loss to the Lord, and then we repent for partnering with lies.
41:04
SPEAKER_00: Now, somebody might be thinking, Well, why am I repenting?
41:08
SPEAKER_00: They did something to me, they broke me.
41:11
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
41:12
SPEAKER_00: They sure did.
41:13
SPEAKER_00: So we're going to offer them forgiveness for what they did or what happened.
41:19
SPEAKER_00: But what are we repenting for?
41:21
SPEAKER_00: We are repenting for believing the lie that their behavior or that the trauma or that the experience told us.
41:30
SPEAKER_00: How do we know we believed the lie?
41:32
SPEAKER_00: Because you went back in 15 seconds and remembered an event.
41:37
SPEAKER_00: Why did you remember it?
41:38
SPEAKER_00: Because it impacted you.
41:41
SPEAKER_00: You remember how it broke you and how you have been fighting against those lies ever since.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: So we repent for partnering with lies.
41:52
SPEAKER_00: Key number two, search scripture for who Jesus is and who you are because of him.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: I want you to repeat this out loud where you are.
42:02
SPEAKER_00: Repeat this after me.
42:04
SPEAKER_00: Only the creator defines the creation.
42:09
SPEAKER_00: Say that out loud.
42:12
SPEAKER_00: Only the creator defines the creation.
42:16
SPEAKER_00: Guys, the God who created the sun and the moon and has positioned them at the perfect distance from our planet, that we have tides that keep the entire earth alive, that nourish the life of the entire earth, and we also aren't too close to the sun that we burn up, and who created every single star, all the galaxies, and our solar system.
42:42
SPEAKER_00: That God designed you.
42:46
SPEAKER_00: He created you with a purpose, not as an amoeba, but you as a human being to become one of his beloved children.
42:59
SPEAKER_00: So he is the only one who gets to define you.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: You know, whoever created the toaster, whoever built a toaster, designed it to do what?
43:12
SPEAKER_00: Toast bread.
43:14
SPEAKER_00: Thus, the little slots where you stick your bagel in or you stick your bread in.
43:20
SPEAKER_00: We don't try to drive a toaster because we understand that's not the purpose of that appliance.
43:26
SPEAKER_00: You don't try to blow dry your hair with the heat from the toaster because that's not the purpose.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: When someone creates something, they get to define it.
43:41
SPEAKER_00: So type in the chat God defines me.
43:46
SPEAKER_01: God defines me.
43:49
SPEAKER_01: Type that out for me.
43:52
SPEAKER_01: How will we know how God defines us?
43:56
SPEAKER_01: How will we know what his definition is?
44:00
SPEAKER_01: Well, you look at Jesus.
44:04
SPEAKER_00: Whatever you see in Jesus, Jesus says, that and greater can we do?
44:13
SPEAKER_01: God defines me.
44:15
SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
44:17
SPEAKER_00: So if Jesus is beloved of the Father, you are beloved of the Father.
44:22
SPEAKER_00: If Jesus conquered sin and death, he said, Don't worry, I've overcome the world.
44:28
SPEAKER_00: You will overcome the world.
44:31
SPEAKER_00: If Jesus walks around in strength and confidence, you can walk around in strength and confidence.
44:40
SPEAKER_00: So we look to see who Jesus is.
44:43
SPEAKER_00: And then we look to see what he has done for us and what that means about us.
44:49
SPEAKER_00: Jesus went to the cross for you.
44:54
SPEAKER_00: And that makes you of immeasurable worth.
44:59
SPEAKER_00: Who could put a value on the blood of the holy son of God?
45:03
SPEAKER_00: There's no value for that.
45:05
SPEAKER_00: That makes you invaluable.
45:08
SPEAKER_00: Kate says, God defines me.
45:10
SPEAKER_00: Lisa says, and refines me.
45:12
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
45:13
SPEAKER_00: Stephanie said, God defines me.
45:15
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: So one of the ways, in case you're ever curious, how you can know who you are in Christ is you can just use simple tools like Bible Gateway, Bible Hub, even Google.
45:28
SPEAKER_00: You can use apps to look up scriptures about who I am in Christ.
45:33
SPEAKER_00: And then you can make a list, write them out, and then pray about them.
45:38
SPEAKER_00: Meditate on the truth.
45:40
SPEAKER_00: I guarantee you, of a list of 20 scriptures on who you are in Christ, there will be two that absolutely jump out at you.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: There will be the ones that have your name written all over it.
45:52
SPEAKER_00: So then that takes us to key number three.
45:54
SPEAKER_00: Memorize truth to replace the lies.
45:58
SPEAKER_00: You can't remove lies.
45:59
SPEAKER_00: You can't pull them out.
46:00
SPEAKER_00: You can only push them out with truth.
46:04
SPEAKER_00: So Romans 12.2 says, Don't be conformed to this world.
46:09
SPEAKER_00: Let me show us that one.
46:12
SPEAKER_01: Romans 12 2, where are you?
46:18
SPEAKER_01: Here we go.
46:20
SPEAKER_00: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
46:33
SPEAKER_00: So we use the word so that we are not conformed to this world.
46:37
SPEAKER_00: So we're not conformed to an identity that doesn't belong to us.
46:41
SPEAKER_00: I love this one.
46:44
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: So we need to know exactly what that new creation is.
46:51
SPEAKER_00: Who are we?
46:52
SPEAKER_00: How do we act?
46:54
SPEAKER_00: What does the Lord think about us?
46:56
SPEAKER_00: The old has passed away.
46:58
SPEAKER_00: That old identity is in the trash.
47:01
SPEAKER_00: Behold, the new has come.
47:03
SPEAKER_00: And Romans 8.1.
47:04
SPEAKER_00: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: Wow, can somebody say amen?
47:12
SPEAKER_00: Praise God to that.
47:14
SPEAKER_00: So I'm just gonna wrap this up, wrap up this life live stream with a weekly call to action.
47:20
SPEAKER_00: I want to give you something practical to take away.
47:23
SPEAKER_00: So I want you to do three things.
47:26
SPEAKER_00: I want you to identify one broken identity cloak.
47:32
SPEAKER_00: Just one.
47:34
SPEAKER_00: One broken identity cloak.
47:38
SPEAKER_00: And then two, find scriptures about who you are in Christ and memorize one of them.
47:45
SPEAKER_00: One of those scriptures that connects back to that broken identity cloak.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: This week, covenant to spend just 10 minutes a day renewing your mind.
47:58
SPEAKER_00: You can do 10 minutes.
48:00
SPEAKER_00: Some of you have a 10-minute drive to the grocery store.
48:04
SPEAKER_00: I would prefer if you were solely focused on this so you can really meditate and really think about it.
48:12
SPEAKER_00: But if the only 10 minutes you get is maybe in the bathroom, in the shower, or in the car in the grocery on the way to the grocery store, whatever.
48:21
SPEAKER_00: Take those 10 minutes.
48:23
SPEAKER_00: And if you want to go deeper, I'd love for you to join me on Substack in my private community.
48:28
SPEAKER_00: So, like I said, you can find me at Cecily LaChapelle.substack.com.
48:34
SPEAKER_00: So share your insights, ask your questions.
48:37
SPEAKER_00: Let's walk this out together.
48:39
SPEAKER_00: All right, we're going to close us in prayer.
48:42
SPEAKER_00: Are you ready, guys?
48:43
SPEAKER_00: You ready to pray?
48:45
SPEAKER_00: Let's bring this really important topic to the Lord.
48:49
SPEAKER_00: Heavenly Father, we just come to you in the mighty name of Jesus.
48:53
SPEAKER_00: We thank you, Lord, so much for your word.
48:56
SPEAKER_00: We thank you, Lord, that in your word we see who we are, who we are now, who you've created us to be.
49:04
SPEAKER_00: But even more than that, we see who you are.
49:07
SPEAKER_00: We see that you love us.
49:08
SPEAKER_00: We see that your mercy is new every day.
49:12
SPEAKER_00: We see that we are redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, that we are clothed in the righteousness of Christ.
49:18
SPEAKER_00: We see that all things have been made new, that the old man is passed away, that we stand before you, before the throne of grace with confidence.
49:27
SPEAKER_00: And so right now, standing before that throne of grace, before you, judge of all the earth, we break agreement with every lie about our identity.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: Every lie that we have partnered with, we break agreement with that, Lord.
49:44
SPEAKER_00: And we ask for a divorce in the spirit realm from those lies.
49:50
SPEAKER_00: Father, I thank you that you heal our fractured identity, that you restore our soul.
49:56
SPEAKER_00: You bring back all the parts of our soul that have been lost, that have been forfeited, that have been stolen, but you don't bring them back the way they left.
50:06
SPEAKER_00: You bring them back in the perfection of who you have created us to be.
50:11
SPEAKER_00: We ask, Lord, that you would restore our purpose, our identity on the solid, eternal foundation of who you are and who we are because of your love and sacrifice.
50:25
SPEAKER_00: Give us courage to step out in faith and establish us, Lord, as beloved sons and daughters.
50:33
SPEAKER_00: We align our identity with the cornerstone of Jesus Christ.
50:38
SPEAKER_00: Jesus came to the world to seek and to save those who are lost.
50:43
SPEAKER_00: He came to make us children of God.
50:46
SPEAKER_00: He came to pour out his blood so that we could be made righteous.
50:50
SPEAKER_00: So we establish our identity on that cornerstone and we build from there.
50:56
SPEAKER_00: In Jesus' name.
50:58
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
50:59
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
51:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, guys, if this blessed you, please subscribe to my YouTube channel if you haven't already.
51:05
SPEAKER_00: Also leave a comment below the video and tell me what cloak you're laying down.
51:11
SPEAKER_00: Make sure to share this with someone who needs identity healing.
51:14
SPEAKER_00: And follow me and subscribe to my newsletter on Substack, Cecily LaChapelle.substack.com.
51:21
SPEAKER_00: I know I'm hammering that one tonight.
51:23
SPEAKER_00: All right, guys, you are not who the world says you are.
51:27
SPEAKER_00: You are who he says you are.
51:29
SPEAKER_00: So until next time, God bless.
51:32
SPEAKER_00: I love you guys.
51:33
SPEAKER_00: Have a great night.
51:36
SPEAKER_00: Hey family, I pray that you were blessed and encouraged by that episode and that you took away something you can use in your walk with the Lord starting today.
51:46
SPEAKER_00: Jesus tells us in Matthew 6 to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.
51:52
SPEAKER_00: So I thank you for making me a part of your pursuit.
51:56
SPEAKER_00: Until next time, abide in Him.