Latest / The Trauma Therapist / Living A Creative Life with Dr. Eric Maisel
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Trauma Thepist Podcast Plus listeners can listen to episodes early
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- 0:07Speaker 1: going to Apple Podcasts searching for the Trauma Thepist podcast
- 0:11Speaker 1: and signing up today. Welcome to the Trauma Nevers Podcast,
- 0:18Speaker 1: a show about the incredible people dedicated to helping those
- 0:21Speaker 1: who experienced trauma. My name is Got macpherson, and my
- 0:24Speaker 1: mission is to raise awareness of trauma and to inspire
- 0:27Speaker 1: each of us to help those around us. All right, Eric,
- 0:32Speaker 1: you ready to yep? All right?
- 0:37Speaker 2: Here we go.
- 0:38Speaker 1: So five four, three, two and one, our folks, welcome
- 0:42Speaker 1: back to the podcast. Very excited to have as my
- 0:44Speaker 1: guest today, Doctor Eric Mazel. Eric, welcome, great to be here.
- 0:50Speaker 1: Appreciate it so. Eric is the author of more than
- 0:52Speaker 1: fifty books. His interests include creativity, the creative life, and
- 0:57Speaker 1: the profession of Creativity Coaching, which he found issues of life,
- 1:01Speaker 1: purpose and meaning, Mental health and critical psychology also known
- 1:05Speaker 1: as critical psychiatry and anti psychiatry and parenting in a quote,
- 1:10Speaker 1: mental disorder age. Doctor Mazel's most recent book is called
- 1:15Speaker 1: Redesign Your Mind, The Breakthrough Program for Real Cognitive Change.
- 1:20Speaker 1: Doctor Mazel writes the Rethinking Mental health blog for Psychology Today,
- 1:24Speaker 1: and is a regular contributor to mad in America, where
- 1:27Speaker 1: he founded and edited its parent resources section. Eric. Welcome
- 1:31Speaker 1: to the podcast.
- 1:32Speaker 2: Wohem, thanks for having me you welcome. I got tired
- 1:36Speaker 2: of listening to that, So.
- 1:38Speaker 1: Before we go in here, share with the listeners where
- 1:40Speaker 1: you're from originally and where you are currently.
- 1:44Speaker 2: I was born in the Bronx. I grew up in Brooklyn,
- 1:47Speaker 2: went to high school in Manhattan, to a math and
- 1:49Speaker 2: science high school called Stuiversant thought I was a math
- 1:52Speaker 2: and science boy. Went to college too young at sixteen,
- 1:56Speaker 2: flunked out by eighteen, joined the army in nineteen sixteen,
- 2:00Speaker 2: et cetera, et cetera, ended up in California. That's where
- 2:03Speaker 2: I am now, near San Francisco, and I've been here
- 2:06Speaker 2: for a long time now. But you can't take the
- 2:09Speaker 2: New Yorker out of you can't take New York out
- 2:11Speaker 2: of the New Yorker. So I'm a Brooklyn boy.
- 2:13Speaker 1: Well as a New Yorker myself, I thoroughly agreed. Now
- 2:18Speaker 1: let me just pause a second. Can you lift your
- 2:20Speaker 1: screen up so your heads not being yet perfect perfect?
- 2:24Speaker 1: All right, so super interesting? How now correct me if
- 2:28Speaker 1: I'm wrong Stuyvesant, is it don't do I specialize in math.
- 2:33Speaker 2: Absolutely. I thought I was a mad find's boy. I
- 2:36Speaker 2: thought I was going to be a physicist or and astronomer.
- 2:39Speaker 2: At the same time, I was reading existential fiction and
- 2:42Speaker 2: existential literature as a kid, and that was actually more
- 2:45Speaker 2: interesting to me than physics and chemistry and all of that.
- 2:50Speaker 2: So I didn't know that I was shifting into the
- 2:53Speaker 2: existential world as a kid, I just was lost. But
- 2:57Speaker 2: by the time I started college, I had lost interest
- 3:00Speaker 2: in science. When I got out of the army, I
- 3:03Speaker 2: got my first degree in that thing you do when
- 3:05Speaker 2: you don't know what you're doing. I got a degree
- 3:07Speaker 2: in philosophy and started writing books at about the age
- 3:10Speaker 2: of twenty four, and I've been doing that for fifty
- 3:13Speaker 2: years or so. That's been my main thing, writing books.
- 3:17Speaker 1: You know, reading your bio obviously, creativity just jumps out.
- 3:24Speaker 1: How did that begin to manifest in you? This?
- 3:29Speaker 2: Yeah, when I started training, Well, of course I was
- 3:31Speaker 2: being a creative person. In my twenties. I had a
- 3:34Speaker 2: postwriting career, was writing fiction. But at some point we
- 3:40Speaker 2: had young kids. I wasn't making enough money. It didn't
- 3:42Speaker 2: seem honorable to keep writing, so I retooled and became
- 3:45Speaker 2: a California licensed therapist, and as a therapist, I began
- 3:50Speaker 2: to notice that artists weren't a particularly serve population. I
- 3:54Speaker 2: was just curious about who was working with artists, and
- 3:57Speaker 2: I wasn't really finding anybody who was. So I decided
- 4:03Speaker 2: to work with artists primarily almost immediately as a therapist,
- 4:06Speaker 2: actually with artist couples, which is about as a bit
- 4:09Speaker 2: of work as you can do, having two artists in
- 4:11Speaker 2: the room together. But it was quite rewarding, except I
- 4:16Speaker 2: stopped believing in the pseudo medical model of therapy, so
- 4:19Speaker 2: I had to make a shift to what I first
- 4:22Speaker 2: called creativity consulting and then creativity coaching, and that's what
- 4:27Speaker 2: I've been doing for the last many, many years, thirty
- 4:29Speaker 2: five years working as a creativity coach with creative performing artists.
- 4:34Speaker 1: Now this is really resonating with me because I started
- 4:43Speaker 1: out as a musician. I went to what was Philadelphia
- 4:47Speaker 1: College of Art at the time for a year, dropped out,
- 4:50Speaker 1: played more music, and have been creative all my life
- 4:55Speaker 1: and kind of did the opposite to you. I kind
- 4:59Speaker 1: of moved out of that and I've been struggling yep,
- 5:05Speaker 1: and part of me wants to say help, but.
- 5:09Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it. Let's do a coaching session. Absolutely,
- 5:12Speaker 2: Oh my god, let's get the band together.
- 5:15Speaker 1: It's been so it's it's let me let me rephrase
- 5:21Speaker 1: my question here, what do you find? So you hear
- 5:24Speaker 1: what I just said, And I'm sure a lot of
- 5:25Speaker 1: people come to you with what are you finding? What
- 5:28Speaker 1: are you hearing from people who are struggling in this
- 5:31Speaker 1: in this way.
- 5:34Speaker 2: Lots of different things. One is getting the work done.
- 5:36Speaker 2: That's one of the primary problems that creative folks come
- 5:40Speaker 2: in to me to chat about, that they're not getting
- 5:43Speaker 2: their writing done, or they're rehearsing done, or this or that.
- 5:46Speaker 2: So it's just getting the work done is probably the
- 5:48Speaker 2: number one issue making money from it. The career issues
- 5:52Speaker 2: is so much competition and so much difficulty. There the
- 5:57Speaker 2: special sadness, I don't want to use the depression word.
- 6:00Speaker 2: The special sadness, the existential despair that comes with our life,
- 6:06Speaker 2: Wondering if what we're doing really matters, having meaning leak
- 6:10Speaker 2: out of the enterprise, wondering if the world needs another
- 6:13Speaker 2: song or another photograph or another poem, the kind of
- 6:16Speaker 2: understand why the world needs bread or medicine, but another
- 6:19Speaker 2: poem doesn't really need it. So there's that existential questions
- 6:23Speaker 2: about mattering special anxiety issues. Most creative folks don't understand
- 6:28Speaker 2: the extent to which they've been silenced by anxiety. Just
- 6:31Speaker 2: tendrills of anxiety. Don't mean big panic attack stuff, but
- 6:35Speaker 2: just the anxiety that comes with For instance, choosing the
- 6:38Speaker 2: creative process is one choice after another. Put there red hair,
- 6:41Speaker 2: put the blue there, one choice after another, and choosing
- 6:44Speaker 2: provokes anxiety. So creative folks don't quite realize that they
- 6:48Speaker 2: need anxiety special anxiety management skills in order to persist
- 6:53Speaker 2: in their life. So those are some of the sorts
- 6:55Speaker 2: of things that folks come to me with. There are
- 6:58Speaker 2: all kinds of other issues, Choosing among loves, showing up
- 7:03Speaker 2: each day, dealing in relationship ways with the person who
- 7:07Speaker 2: maybe is making the money in the household and not
- 7:10Speaker 2: feeling like a parasite or not feeling like you're not
- 7:13Speaker 2: contributing to the household income. Bazillion issues that you know
- 7:17Speaker 2: are all nameable. It's not really mysterious. They just teased
- 7:21Speaker 2: the part and together they make the creative life.
- 7:26Speaker 1: Well let's me if we could. Can you give us
- 7:32Speaker 1: kind of a case, how do you deal with this?
- 7:33Speaker 1: Someone walks in, maybe you have someone in your mind
- 7:36Speaker 1: right now, how do you And again with the understanding
- 7:40Speaker 1: that each person is different, this situation is different.
- 7:43Speaker 2: But I have lots of talking points, so I think
- 7:46Speaker 2: I can begin to address the question you're asking. One
- 7:50Speaker 2: is I invite a pair of paradigm shifts to all clients.
- 7:53Speaker 2: One is the movement from the idea that life has
- 7:56Speaker 2: one purpose to the idea of life purposes of life
- 8:00Speaker 2: purpose choosing. It sounds simple, but it's a big shift
- 8:03Speaker 2: when a creative person realizes that maybe many things are
- 8:06Speaker 2: important to her. Creativity is one of them, but family, relationships, activism, career, service,
- 8:13Speaker 2: many other things may be important. So kind of puts
- 8:16Speaker 2: creativity in perspective for them, so they don't have to
- 8:20Speaker 2: feel like they're putting all of their eggs in one basket,
- 8:22Speaker 2: so you feel like they have a life. So that
- 8:25Speaker 2: one shift from the idea of there's only one purpose
- 8:28Speaker 2: to life to the idea of multiple life purposes matters.
- 8:31Speaker 1: Why does that help that that particular paradigm shift, because
- 8:37Speaker 1: how does it help?
- 8:38Speaker 2: I think it takes a bit of the importance or
- 8:42Speaker 2: investment out of creativity. There's this dance of attachment and
- 8:46Speaker 2: detachment that every creative person has to do. You invest
- 8:50Speaker 2: in it, you attach to let's say the symphony you're writing.
- 8:53Speaker 2: Let's just pick something you attach to the symphony you're writing.
- 8:56Speaker 2: But then of course you have to let it go
- 8:58Speaker 2: when you put it out into the world. You have
- 8:59Speaker 2: to let the world decide whether it's wanted in all
- 9:02Speaker 2: of that. And so that kind of investing can make
- 9:06Speaker 2: a person anxious and also sad if nothing's happening for
- 9:10Speaker 2: the work or to the work. So this gives them
- 9:14Speaker 2: other things to feel good about, or other things to
- 9:17Speaker 2: be doing. To say it, simply, other things to be
- 9:19Speaker 2: doing that also count. I think it's so, to use
- 9:22Speaker 2: a cliche, it's a more balanced life to imagine that
- 9:25Speaker 2: many things are important to you than to put all
- 9:28Speaker 2: of your eggs in the creativity basket. That just overburdens
- 9:31Speaker 2: that basket.
- 9:33Speaker 1: And if you're not being quote unquote creative at that.
- 9:36Speaker 2: Time, then why are you even alive?
- 9:38Speaker 1: Right? Right?
- 9:40Speaker 2: So that's right. Folks need to understand that there are
- 9:43Speaker 2: other things they could be enjoying that hour in the
- 9:46Speaker 2: park with their kids. Rather than pining for the novel
- 9:49Speaker 2: they're not writing at that moment, they could be enjoying
- 9:51Speaker 2: life in other ways and keeping keeping the existential underpinning
- 9:57Speaker 2: of their life going by virtue of this s in
- 10:00Speaker 2: thinking to many things being important. Similarly, there's a shift
- 10:05Speaker 2: from seeking meaning, which is a two thousand year old
- 10:08Speaker 2: metaphor that everybody's kind of stuck with. The meaning's out
- 10:10Speaker 2: there somewhere, you know, the famous book man Search for Meaning,
- 10:14Speaker 2: Victor Frankel's book, The idea that got to go find it.
- 10:18Speaker 2: So I sell the paradigm shift to the idea of
- 10:20Speaker 2: making meaning rather than go looking for meaning. My idea
- 10:25Speaker 2: is that meaning is actually just a feeling. We each
- 10:29Speaker 2: have our psychological subjective, psychological experiences, and some feel meaningful
- 10:33Speaker 2: and some don't, and that's all it is. And when
- 10:36Speaker 2: you get that idea that it's just a feeling, then
- 10:40Speaker 2: it makes sense that it will come and go. Meaning
- 10:42Speaker 2: comes and goes. This is really helpful to creative people
- 10:46Speaker 2: who maybe, let's say they spend three hundred days writing
- 10:49Speaker 2: a novel, and two hundred and sixty three of those
- 10:52Speaker 2: days it doesn't feel very meaningful to be sitting there
- 10:54Speaker 2: because the novel's sloggy and not working and drumpy and
- 10:59Speaker 2: all of that. When they get this idea this there's
- 11:02Speaker 2: no reason why it should feel meaning. If there's no
- 11:04Speaker 2: reason why it should feel meaningful, then they can relax
- 11:07Speaker 2: and not be so hungry for meaning once you get
- 11:10Speaker 2: the idea of the means. But my analogy is joy.
- 11:12Speaker 2: You would not expect every moment of your life to
- 11:14Speaker 2: be joyful. That would be a little strange to experience
- 11:17Speaker 2: to expect that. But if you believe, you begin to
- 11:20Speaker 2: understand that joy comes and goes, and you can sort
- 11:23Speaker 2: of coax it into existence. You can try things that
- 11:26Speaker 2: might bring you more joy. Meaning is just like that.
- 11:29Speaker 2: You can try things that will bring you more meaning.
- 11:32Speaker 2: And I invite clients to try things that will bring
- 11:35Speaker 2: them more meaning. But it doesn't matter if it doesn't work.
- 11:39Speaker 2: It doesn't matter if the meaning doesn't come. As long
- 11:41Speaker 2: as you're living your life purposes, then your living life
- 11:44Speaker 2: as you should.
- 11:46Speaker 1: There's so many cliches around this topic of you know,
- 11:51Speaker 1: the artists struggling, and for me, I found myself. I mean,
- 11:57Speaker 1: I'm relating a lot to what you're saying. I found
- 12:00Speaker 1: myself devaluing my creativity and my love of creativity and
- 12:08Speaker 1: feeling like I needed to satisfy my father and you know,
- 12:13Speaker 1: get into more business stuff.
- 12:15Speaker 2: And that's why that first year of college is actually
- 12:19Speaker 2: the last year of high school, and the first year
- 12:21Speaker 2: of college is so hard on my students because all
- 12:23Speaker 2: along parents have been supporting their creativity. They go to
- 12:26Speaker 2: the concerts, they put their little drawings up on the refrigerator.
- 12:30Speaker 1: All that.
- 12:30Speaker 2: Suddenly suddenly the conversation happens and the senior year of
- 12:33Speaker 2: high school where the kid says, I want to go
- 12:35Speaker 2: to art school and the parents say, what are you
- 12:37Speaker 2: talking about? That's that's we're not paying for that. That's
- 12:41Speaker 2: absolutely not okay. So this shift happens right around the
- 12:45Speaker 2: junior and senior year of high school. It's very demoralizing
- 12:49Speaker 2: and very disrupt and then when you have to pick
- 12:52Speaker 2: your major in college. That's why that first year of
- 12:55Speaker 2: college we use the cliche of adjustment disorder or so
- 12:58Speaker 2: many kids have an adjustment to in that year, but
- 13:01Speaker 2: they're really struggling to make sense of this conflict that
- 13:04Speaker 2: you just described. Some go for the art direction and
- 13:11Speaker 2: have fights with their family and all of that. Others
- 13:14Speaker 2: please their parents and take up accounting, or maybe take
- 13:18Speaker 2: up graphic art rather than fine art, to make this
- 13:21Speaker 2: sort of compromise somewhere somewhere forty six percent in the
- 13:24Speaker 2: middle of it all, somehow, this is what goes on.
- 13:28Speaker 2: And that's why college is so hard. It may be
- 13:31Speaker 2: easy and easier at MIT for math student, but they
- 13:35Speaker 2: know they're doing math. But for a humanity student, for
- 13:38Speaker 2: an art student, I think college is really very hard
- 13:41Speaker 2: because they're struggling with this precise conflict of do I
- 13:45Speaker 2: get to manifest my creativity or should I do something sensible?
- 13:49Speaker 1: And it truly is and can be calm for a
- 13:53Speaker 1: lot of us from an existential crisis because you feel
- 13:58Speaker 1: like you're not being who you are? Right, I mean,
- 14:02Speaker 1: do you feel like you're not valuing who you are?
- 14:05Speaker 1: There's a constant questioning about your worth and the insidiousness
- 14:13Speaker 1: can be so subconscious and demoralizing. Right, how did you
- 14:20Speaker 1: get to a point where you felt you could address
- 14:24Speaker 1: this and work with people in this context?
- 14:28Speaker 2: Well, of course I had the lived experience of many,
- 14:31Speaker 2: many years of living a creative life. I also loved
- 14:35Speaker 2: reading interview books with artists. Well, there are all kinds
- 14:39Speaker 2: of interesting interview books out there. I found them, found
- 14:42Speaker 2: them better than sort of theoretical books about creativity. I
- 14:46Speaker 2: don't find theoretical books about creativity that rich, but interviews
- 14:50Speaker 2: with actual working artists about what they've There's an interesting
- 14:54Speaker 2: book called Musings from Chaos and Ash first strange title,
- 14:58Speaker 2: but it's about it's interviews with visual artists who recently
- 15:03Speaker 2: have received an HIV positive docsis and how that changes,
- 15:08Speaker 2: how that changes their lives, how that changes the subject
- 15:10Speaker 2: matter of their paintings, even etc. So this is what
- 15:14Speaker 2: informed me is really being interested in the real lives
- 15:18Speaker 2: of artists and so doing it now for thirty or
- 15:23Speaker 2: forty years, kind of seen everything in that world.
- 15:28Speaker 1: What do you say to people who just are struggling
- 15:33Speaker 1: with not feeling as though their creativity matters. I mean,
- 15:43Speaker 1: it feels like such an exidential question to me. And
- 15:45Speaker 1: then let's segue to get into your course.
- 15:49Speaker 2: Sure, I have lots of different sorts of things to say.
- 15:53Speaker 2: One is I invite them to remember what it felt
- 15:57Speaker 2: like at the age of five or six or seven
- 16:00Speaker 2: sit in the corner of a room reading a book,
- 16:02Speaker 2: and just that the way they were in love with
- 16:05Speaker 2: that experience. Nobody had to tell them to love that book,
- 16:09Speaker 2: or love that song, or love that move. So I'm
- 16:11Speaker 2: trying to reconnect them to love and all the synonyms
- 16:14Speaker 2: of love, curiosity, enthusiasm, passion, all of those words, trying
- 16:20Speaker 2: to reconnect them to that. Then I share with them
- 16:24Speaker 2: the idea of what the avant garde artists of the
- 16:26Speaker 2: turn of the twentieth century would say, namely that they
- 16:28Speaker 2: were looking for an audience of one that if they
- 16:31Speaker 2: could move one other person, that that was valuable to them. Now,
- 16:35Speaker 2: of course they really wanted an audience of billions. They
- 16:37Speaker 2: were narcissists, like we know they were, but still they
- 16:42Speaker 2: used that phrase to communicate to themselves, to keep themselves,
- 16:49Speaker 2: to keep their own passion afloat for their work while
- 16:52Speaker 2: they were doing Cubism and what have you. So that
- 16:55Speaker 2: resonates for my clients the idea that they don't have
- 16:59Speaker 2: to worry about doing this thing which feels so hard,
- 17:02Speaker 2: getting a huge audience. Maybe if they just move one
- 17:05Speaker 2: other person, that would be sufficient. There are so many
- 17:10Speaker 2: different kinds of talking points, but they swirl around existential
- 17:16Speaker 2: support them reminding themselves or maybe saying for the first
- 17:20Speaker 2: time that they and their efforts really matter. They have
- 17:24Speaker 2: to decide to don that mantle of feeling like their
- 17:27Speaker 2: efforts matter and finding that place of love again. And
- 17:32Speaker 2: then tactics, the main tactic being to be with the
- 17:37Speaker 2: work every single day. What I say to them, and
- 17:41Speaker 2: they realize this is true. They know that if they
- 17:43Speaker 2: miss three or four days of practicing or writing or painting,
- 17:47Speaker 2: months go by, they just vanish. Because as soon as
- 17:51Speaker 2: we're out of touch with that work, the rest of
- 17:54Speaker 2: life just infiltrates that time. And so that's not a
- 17:59Speaker 2: good thing to lose months and years. So on the
- 18:02Speaker 2: tactical level, we talk about daily practice. I talk about
- 18:05Speaker 2: the idea of morning practice so that you can receive
- 18:11Speaker 2: the benefits of sleep thinking, which is a particular idea
- 18:13Speaker 2: the way we think while we sleep, and how that
- 18:16Speaker 2: can increase our creativity by making use of that. So
- 18:20Speaker 2: there's the existential stuff, but then there's just a tactical
- 18:22Speaker 2: stuff of when to create, how often to create, what
- 18:27Speaker 2: kind of commitment you want to make with me the coach.
- 18:30Speaker 2: Do you want to check in with me every day?
- 18:33Speaker 2: I'm happy to do that. I don't mind check ins.
- 18:36Speaker 2: What's the amount of time you want to try for
- 18:39Speaker 2: Most new clients will say, I want to spend twenty
- 18:41Speaker 2: minutes on X on my novel. So they don't want
- 18:44Speaker 2: to disappoint themselves again by making too big a promise,
- 18:48Speaker 2: so the promise has to be calibrated. So these are
- 18:51Speaker 2: all the sort of the tactics and techniques one learns
- 18:54Speaker 2: over time in working with great and performing artists.
- 18:58Speaker 1: So let's talk about your your course, your workshop laid
- 19:02Speaker 1: out for us. What's it called?
- 19:03Speaker 2: First off, Yeah, there's a big new thing coming that
- 19:07Speaker 2: I'm running called an Existential Wellness Coach Certificate program, which
- 19:12Speaker 2: is a mouthful. Happens in the spring of this year,
- 19:17Speaker 2: and it's a program that I'm running in conjunction with
- 19:20Speaker 2: an organization called Noble Manhattan Coaching out of the UK,
- 19:24Speaker 2: and it trains you to become an existential wellness coach,
- 19:28Speaker 2: which is a new creature under the sun. They are
- 19:30Speaker 2: existential coaches already, and there are wellness coaches already. I'm
- 19:33Speaker 2: trying to marry those two ideas. It's not. An existential
- 19:38Speaker 2: coach typically talks about certain kinds of ideas, like we've
- 19:41Speaker 2: been talking about life, purpose and meaning and those sorts
- 19:44Speaker 2: of things, and a wellness coach typically talks about what
- 19:48Speaker 2: wellness looks like to that coach, whether it's focusing on
- 19:52Speaker 2: health or some other aspect of wellness, emotional wellness. I'm
- 19:57Speaker 2: trying to combine those two ideas and use a new
- 20:00Speaker 2: helper who can who can find the different pillars of
- 20:05Speaker 2: wellness in a person's life, the existential pillars, the psychological pillners,
- 20:09Speaker 2: the physical pillers, all of that and support a person
- 20:12Speaker 2: in every aspect of their life. So I think it's
- 20:15Speaker 2: an interesting program. I'm running a dozen free Existential Wellness
- 20:20Speaker 2: Coach webinars during the during the spring, so folks are
- 20:24Speaker 2: interested in that, they can just visit my website, Ericmasell
- 20:28Speaker 2: dot com and learn about that. There are a lot
- 20:30Speaker 2: of free offerings, So that's that's a good way to
- 20:32Speaker 2: be introduced to this idea.
- 20:34Speaker 1: Okay, And who is this workshop worse for?
- 20:39Speaker 2: It's for general coaches who have a general practice, general
- 20:44Speaker 2: life coaches who want this niche or this extra understanding.
- 20:48Speaker 2: And it's also for folks and be for therapists, existential therapists,
- 20:53Speaker 2: or just any any therapist who's interested in either adding
- 20:58Speaker 2: coaching to their life or move from the medical model
- 21:02Speaker 2: of therapy to the helping model of coaching or someone
- 21:07Speaker 2: who's in the arts or some place where they need
- 21:11Speaker 2: an extra revenue stream. You know, the great informed artists
- 21:15Speaker 2: have to cobble an income together from various sources. Typically
- 21:20Speaker 2: their art is not making them enough money. So this
- 21:22Speaker 2: can be the sort of thing that an artist might
- 21:26Speaker 2: do as an addition to their artwork, is to become
- 21:29Speaker 2: this kind of coach and help people with their existential issues.
- 21:34Speaker 1: The topic of social media, I think, is a big one.
- 21:41Speaker 1: I think it can obviously be beneficial and help to
- 21:46Speaker 1: highlight people's art people's art, but I feel it also
- 21:50Speaker 1: can be hindrance for a lot of us. What are
- 21:53Speaker 1: your thoughts on this?
- 21:55Speaker 2: Exactly what you just said that both are true. The
- 21:59Speaker 2: way I frame it to creative and performing artists clients
- 22:02Speaker 2: is the following way. The rule is that artists won't
- 22:06Speaker 2: make it. That's the rule. That's just the fact of
- 22:09Speaker 2: the matter. That's the fact of the matter. So that
- 22:12Speaker 2: means you, my client, you're going to have to prove
- 22:14Speaker 2: the exception. This is my language. You're going to have
- 22:16Speaker 2: to prove the exception. You don't want to be the
- 22:18Speaker 2: rule here, someone who doesn't make it. You're going to
- 22:20Speaker 2: have to prove the exception if you intend to make it,
- 22:23Speaker 2: and that means you have to do some exceptional things.
- 22:26Speaker 2: And what does that mean to you? For one person,
- 22:28Speaker 2: that might mean I'm just I'm really going to pour
- 22:30Speaker 2: myself into Instagram more than the next person and get
- 22:34Speaker 2: three million followers on what have you? For another person
- 22:36Speaker 2: who may be completely staying away from social media and
- 22:39Speaker 2: doing something else. So I invite clients to think for
- 22:42Speaker 2: themselves what this phrase proving the exception is going to
- 22:45Speaker 2: mean to them. And I keep subtly hammering this idea
- 22:50Speaker 2: across that they can't just do what other artists are doing,
- 22:52Speaker 2: because other artists are not making it. They have to
- 22:55Speaker 2: do something a little different, a little savvier, a little
- 22:58Speaker 2: more strategic, maybe a little more exhausting. Maybe they want
- 23:02Speaker 2: to exhaust themselves in the surface of their art rather
- 23:05Speaker 2: than standing behind this word balance, which is an interesting word,
- 23:10Speaker 2: which can mean I don't I'm not going to do
- 23:11Speaker 2: too much, et cetera. So I don't have a short
- 23:15Speaker 2: answer about social media. It has to be you know,
- 23:18Speaker 2: the client's direction as to what they think about it.
- 23:21Speaker 2: But what I do want to strongly suggest to them
- 23:25Speaker 2: is they have to figure some of these things out
- 23:27Speaker 2: for themselves and then throw themselves into it.
- 23:32Speaker 1: You know, as you speak, Eric, a part of me
- 23:35Speaker 1: is thinking. At some point you you one has to
- 23:42Speaker 1: just shut up and get to work, right. You've got
- 23:44Speaker 1: to if you feel you're an artist, if you feel
- 23:49Speaker 1: you're creative, you've gotta You've got to do the work
- 23:52Speaker 1: you've got to. You can't just too much thinking oftentimes
- 23:55Speaker 1: goes into this process.
- 23:58Speaker 2: Yeah, that's where book that you mentioned, with the outset
- 24:01Speaker 2: that's come out recently redesigned your mind. They need to
- 24:06Speaker 2: be thinking thoughts that serve them in order to do
- 24:09Speaker 2: the thing you just said. To show up. They need
- 24:11Speaker 2: some anxiety management techniques in order to do the things
- 24:13Speaker 2: they just said. They need often a better understanding of
- 24:17Speaker 2: how addiction works in the creative personality, and why they
- 24:20Speaker 2: have to be watchful for their risk factors and their
- 24:23Speaker 2: triggers and what have you. There are many things to
- 24:25Speaker 2: think about, but what you said is the truth. The
- 24:27Speaker 2: bottom line is that all of that notwithstanding, they have
- 24:31Speaker 2: to show up in a daily way. And I really
- 24:33Speaker 2: mean a daily way, because as I said to you
- 24:34Speaker 2: a moment ago, it can't be every fourth day or
- 24:37Speaker 2: every seventh day. It doesn't work. Tchaikowsky has a quote
- 24:41Speaker 2: I like, which is I'm inspired every fifth day, but
- 24:43Speaker 2: I only get that fifth day if I show up
- 24:45Speaker 2: the other four. And so I believe in inspiration, but
- 24:49Speaker 2: I don't believe you can wait on it. We do
- 24:51Speaker 2: have to show up to the work, and then we
- 24:54Speaker 2: get the fruits of that showing up in the form
- 24:56Speaker 2: of inspiration.
- 24:58Speaker 1: Well, you seem to be someone who's really garnered and
- 25:05Speaker 1: taken from a lot of what you've teached. I mean,
- 25:08Speaker 1: you're creative, You've written crazy amount of books, and you're
- 25:12Speaker 1: also out there helping other people. Was this a challenge
- 25:16Speaker 1: for you to create a business around this? How did
- 25:20Speaker 1: you come about it?
- 25:21Speaker 2: The first the first challenge, this will sound funny, perhaps
- 25:24Speaker 2: the first challenge was to care about other people at all.
- 25:29Speaker 2: I think in my twenties, I was that typical cafe
- 25:32Speaker 2: going late night, arrogant, narcissistic, grandiose guy. I was that guy.
- 25:41Speaker 2: The first sort of introductory course therapy course, the course
- 25:46Speaker 2: you took before you actually started the program, was a
- 25:49Speaker 2: simple listening course. Listening skills like how to listen to
- 25:53Speaker 2: another person or how to find the willingness to listen
- 25:56Speaker 2: to another person. That was life changing for me because
- 25:59Speaker 2: I'm not try ever listen to anybody else except to
- 26:02Speaker 2: fight about some opinion or something or to argue, but
- 26:05Speaker 2: to listen in the sense of which a therapist listens.
- 26:08Speaker 2: That was new to me, and that was life changing.
- 26:10Speaker 2: So that was a big deal transformation. But I'd always
- 26:15Speaker 2: wanted to help. I'd never thought that creativity for its
- 26:19Speaker 2: own sake was what matters. I was born right after
- 26:23Speaker 2: World War Two nineteen forty seven. The idea of being
- 26:27Speaker 2: a resistance fighter was in the air still, and something
- 26:30Speaker 2: about that infiltrated my being that I was going to
- 26:33Speaker 2: resist and that I was going to be helpful in
- 26:36Speaker 2: the same way that a resistance fighter is helpful to
- 26:40Speaker 2: his society or his culture. And so I've had that
- 26:46Speaker 2: thing going all of this time, this helping part along
- 26:50Speaker 2: with the creativity part. So that wasn't new to me.
- 26:53Speaker 2: The new part was caring about other people. That was
- 26:56Speaker 2: new to me. I probably having children had something to
- 26:58Speaker 2: do with that too, where you have objects of affection,
- 27:03Speaker 2: kids to love. Those were transformative things. Kids and that
- 27:08Speaker 2: listening course, those two things together awesome.
- 27:11Speaker 1: All right, Eric, what's the best way for people to
- 27:14Speaker 1: get in contact with you.
- 27:17Speaker 2: They can drop me an email to Ericmazel at hotmail
- 27:20Speaker 2: dot com and that's the R I C and A
- 27:22Speaker 2: I S E L at hotmail or my site, Ericmayzel
- 27:26Speaker 2: dot com. Love to have people visit.
- 27:29Speaker 1: Okay, we'll have those linked up. Also have the link
- 27:31Speaker 1: for your new course coming up to Eric. Awesome talking
- 27:36Speaker 1: to you man, really inspiring. Appreciate you taking the time.
- 27:39Speaker 2: Great, thanks so much for having me all right, thank you,
- 28:04Speaker 2: Doc