Latest / ADHDtime On Air / ADHDtime on Air with Daniella Karidi
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- Daniella Karidi, PhD: Hi everyone. This is part two of ADHD Time On Air with Daniella Caridi because in true ADHD style, of the recording did not work. So ⁓ is me re-recording part of the conversation. If you are listening, thank you so much. If you're watching on YouTube, ⁓ might see some minor changes. And were talking about... Hi, thank you for joining me at ADHD Time On Air. Today, I have a special episode because today I'm interviewing me, Daniella Caridi, an ADHD coach, a memory researcher, and an avid reader. Last year, I've ⁓ read 122 books and a few of them were about ADHD. I also want to point out that I have dyslexia. me about Daniela Caridi and how I succeeded last year to read 122 books even though I have ADHD and dyslexia. And one of the questions I get asked is about the comorbidity, the combination of having ADHD and dyslexia. So I want to emphasize that these are separate conditions, but they can come together. You can have both of them. And actually studies have shown that 25 % and ADHD, so I'm a member of the tribe. Today, we're gonna take this opportunity to get to know me a little bit and to learn about what brought me to ADHD Time On Air. and how I succeed to read so many books, even though I am severely dyslectic. So let's start with what is dyslectia. Dyslectia is a reading disorder, a learning disability that is that I cannot make the connection between phonemes, the smallest bricks of our language to graphic ⁓ So when you take the word dog and you break it down into little, ⁓ parts, that what we're talking about. to 40 % of individuals with ADHD have a learning disability. And if you look at the statistics the opposite way, it also works. If you look at individuals with learning disabilities, 25 to 40 % of them have ADHD. So it's very comorbid. So I'm not special or unique. Well, I am, but I'm not in the fact that I have both dyslexia and ADHD. And if you wanna learn more about In English, there are about 5,000 small bricks that build the language. Other languages might have different numbers. For instance, Hebrew has only 333 of those small bricks that build the written language. So there are languages that are harder to learn for dyslexics individuals. Dyslexia cannot be outgrown, even though I am now an avid reader. It required a lot of accommodations, a lot of using of audiobooks. ADHD or dyslexia. You can go to my two favorite nonprofits in this world of ADHD and dyslexia are CHAD, Children and Adults with ADHD or LDA, the Learning Disability Association. And I will put both those links in the show notes. So if you want to learn more about the comorbidity of those two conditions and exactly what's the difference and why should we really care about knowing if you have ADHD or dyslexia, can look at both those websites. and a lot of learning and receiving accommodations. And I had received several remedial instructions for years. And still, reading is more challenging for me. And what I do many times is I read the whole ⁓ how it looks, and break it into small structures. So then it's harder to read a new word. It is also slower. If you think about acquiring the language of reading English, Another common questions I get asked about is about my focus on ADHD book club and what is that? That is the book club I started several years ago when I was really overwhelmed with purchasing all these books and making my to-be read pile really large to the level it almost fell on me next to my bed but not getting myself able to like start the reading. I was really struggling with reading the professional books that I cared about, that I bought, that I really were motivated to read. So I decided to not only talk the talk, but also walk the walk and create a group that would cause accountability. So this group meets once a month on Zoom and I will put the link, but if you Google it, you can find focus on ADHD books at bookclubs.com. And we... ⁓ It is expected to take several years when we go to school, but then at some point you become a proficient reader. And then when you are introduced to a new word, you might kind of stop and slow down and have to break it down and build it up. But in general, ⁓ reading comes automatic if you are challenges, if you learned it in school, if you were taught how to do it. For me, even these days, ⁓ reading will require more effort and more time. read a book that I choose that is related to the world of ADHD. It is a free book club. We meet once a month and we discuss the book. By doing that, it caused me highly motivation because I knew there are to be people on the other side of the screen that are going to be waiting for me to read the book. I read them and it really started me back on the wagon of reading professional books. So, ⁓ I do use a lot of audio books to overcome that. And my favorite combo is reading while listening. So when I can see the words, so I can practice building those new structures in my brain and then I can hear the sounds. I still cannot spell to save my life because spelling is taking that backwards and reversing that skill. So now I have to take the word and break it down to the smallest sounds and then put it in the representative graphic representation. An accountability group is another strategy to get yourself into reading. So not only that I created a group of people that expected me to read, that they were on the other side of the screens, it also made me kind of look at what I purchased and what's out there and create a list. And it helped me get back into reading professional books. So you're welcome to join if you want, it's a free book club. We meet once a month. We do not record our meetings because we want to keep them private. So thank God I use dictation software a lot to be able to send you texts or emails. So if you ever get a message from me and it has spelling mistakes, that is my gift to you in my entertainment. But when we speak ⁓ about English, ⁓ many times ⁓ our reading skills and our writing skills are matched. In my case, I did a lot of remediation and my reading has improved significantly, but my writing skills have not. but you're welcome to join and you can look at the, what are the books we have been reading and discussing. Another thing that has helped me rent, ⁓ can't even tell you how much in the ability to read books was the support my family gave me all my life. So when I was younger, my parents read to me ⁓ lot. And even though I was struggling with reading, they continued to create the love of reading within me. We had, caught up and have not been remediated as much. And I still struggle a lot with that. when we talk about other languages, it might be different. ⁓ The ratio of your ability to read versus write might be affected differently. So is a bit about dyslexia. So the second question is, OK, so now we're even more curious how succeed to read so many books. tons of books in the house. We had amounts of children books and my parents consistently gave me opportunities to be exposed auditorily to books. So books on tape, they ⁓ had ⁓ books on records, but ⁓ we had a lot of exposure to books and it created in me the love of reading and the love of books. In addition to that, So ⁓ my ADHD brain doesn't like the quiet and it does not like to run errands like folding laundry or doing dishes or preparing food, being bored. So I listen to books while I am doing those things, especially books that do not require a lot of my focus and attention. So books that are more for pleasure than for work. I remember as a child discussions on books, a lot of them. So even if I didn't have the opportunity to read a book, I would hear people talking about books all the time. I ⁓ those books I listen you in my earbuds while I'm doing other things, there's been a bunch of studies out there that have shown that multitasking is impossible. So really what I'm doing is I am switching between these tasks and I'm listening I'm loading the dishwasher at the same time. those are tasks that don't require a lot of my executive attention. So those are tasks that are not. So not only that I was motivated to overcome my reading challenges because I wanted to acquire knowledge, I was motivated by a very supporting family and a very positive attitude towards reading and towards books. So that's another component. If you have a child that is struggling with reading or because of their ADHD or because of their reading disorder or because of both. demanding if I now suddenly had to fix the dishwasher while I'm listening to the audiobook, I might be losing my ability to do those too. So I might be shutting down the audiobook because there's no ability to do a new task while I'm listening to the book, or I might be missing some of the information in the book. If this is a book that I want to read to be able to share it with you guys, to be able to have a conversation about it, then I usually try to do it by my desk while I'm holding a pencil or a pen. creating the love of books, still showing them the importance of book. If you are a reader you're doing it on a technology, your kid doesn't know if you're reading or if you're like working or playing So verbalize, tell them, ⁓ my God, I read this book, I'm reading this book. If you're ⁓ using ⁓ Kindle read or listening to an audio book and your kid is bothering you and you have to stop and you can say things out loud, like, wait, I'm going to pause where I am on my book. telling my brain that this is focus time, I will be or listening and reading, which is my best combo, my favorite, or just reading, then I would be definitely also taking notes and highlighting, making sure that my brain understands that this is learning, focusing time, and that information needs to be catalogued, restored, so it can later be retrieved. So that's answering a bit about the questions about how I succeeded to read 122 books while being dyslectic and have ADHD. This year, I'm hoping to read the same amount more or less, but I don't read for collecting the numbers. I do use ⁓ good to help me keep track of the books because if I'm listening to a book while doing things, sometimes I don't even remember that I read the book. So I like to keep track that I read the book. That is demonstrating to your children that you are reading. Let's say you're not a reader, but you wanna raise a reader or you have ADHD and dyslexia, but you want to still create love of reading in your kids. So I think it's really important to have conversations around books, even if you are struggling to read books. So ask them about the books they read. Go on. on AI and get a summary of that book that they're reading for school so you can be part of the conversation. hide your challenges. Say to your kids things like, I'm struggling with reading, but I really, really enjoyed listening to this book, or I really enjoyed our conversation about the book. Thank you for sharing with me, even though I didn't have a chance to read the book. Create the love of reading if possible. And if you can't do it, give them opportunities with other people. Expose them to... Because if I go to listen to it again, I will have parts that are familiar and then I get bored and then I don't enjoy listening to it. So I do it for my own sake. And then for the professional books, I also like to be able to keep track when the first time I read it because I do like to reread professional books because every time I'm reading them again, it's like new me with new knowledge and I might grab different points and different information from the book. TV shows that are about book, audio books, podcasts, share with the others in your family that you really want to create love of reading in your kids, even if you're struggling and maybe they can support. So remember that even something that you're struggling with could be something that your could could excel with. It doesn't mean that they might have the same struggles. So give them opportunities to enjoy reading even if you don't. If you have any questions about If you guys have recommendations of books I should be reading that are not on my shelf or just your favorite ADHD-related book, please put it in the comments so I can grow my library and also to know that I'm not the only one that enjoy those specific books. So help me stay motivated in my reading progress and let me know what you guys read and what you think I should be reading. I do get asked a lot about my bookshelf. So... ⁓ motivating reading, don't forget to put them in the comments. If you have other ways that you think that we can encourage reading in young ones, please share. That could also ⁓ others. And then my last thing that I want to like emphasize, this is not happened in one day. I did not start with 122 books in like one day. ⁓ I into this as a process. There were years that I read two books. There are years that I read You see part of my bookshelf behind me. I promise I will do a bookshelf tour in the future. But as people notice, I like to organize my bookshelf by colors because that is one of my ways of my brain to be sorted. So our memory puts information in our brain in different ways. All of us have different strategies. Some of us are very good in remembering names. Other of us are remembering pictures. ⁓ I a lot of color in my life. four books, it built up. And there'll be years that I will read only 20 because other things are happening in my life. This number is not goal. The goal is the enjoying the reading and getting the knowledge and having the fun. And really want anyone that's watching this or listening to this kind of saying, ⁓ my God, ⁓ I can't this because I don't want to spend 122 books and I don't have that time or because and in the way I store information. So instead of going against that, I am going with that. And I color coded my ⁓ library. I also color coded a lot of things in my life and with my kids' life. So we each have a color in our family. I'm purple, not surprised, I'm a purple girly. And that means that if there's something around the house that is purple, there is a high likelihood that if you bring it back into my room or put it in my office, you're putting it in the right spot. because what your number might be very, very different. what I wanna do is motivate you to pursue reading and pursue acquiring knowledge. And if you're doing it for your ears or for your eyes, it matter. Or if you're listening to podcasts about books, it really, what is important is that people worked really hard to create these novels, these mysteries, these biographies, these... And that helps a bit of organizing. So any purple notebook you'd see around the house is definitely mine. We also use that for other stuff. So when you travel, for instance, if you have more than one passport or if you're a parent and you're holding the whole family's passports, we put a sticker on the outside of the passport on the back, small circle, mine is not surprisingly purple. And my kid, my son, for instance, was always yellow, so his will be a yellow circle. So if I'm going through the pile of the passports and I need to give his passport, I don't have to open it and check for his picture. It has a yellow circle on outside, then I know it's his. When the kids were younger, we also color coded, for instance, the cups, the people, and the plates, and even the plastic silverware we bought on Ikea. We kind of divided and made sure that it's clear who has what. When we don't have purple, I take the black or the green for me. about ADHD and they're out there for you to consume. So find a way, find an amount and enjoy acquiring the new knowledge. Thank you for joining me for part two that I just added after part one and subscribe to ADHD Time on Air. Thank you. But the idea is that this is kind of reducing the memory load. So one of the strategies that I love teaching my clients and I love using myself is reducing memory load. And to reduce that memory load, if we can code things in a specific color or in a specific shape or in a specific way, it kind of helps our brain sort it. I will want to say this out loud. If you have a kid or you are color blind, please make sure to choose colors you can see. I say that because I do have a child that is colorblind, and that's one of the reasons he has yellow as his color, because he could see that in most environments, in most situations, and therefore it is a good color. If we would have chosen ⁓ purple for him, sometimes purple looks pink, sometimes it looks red, sometimes it looks blue, ⁓ it might not be such a good fit. One of my favorite questions to ask people on my podcast is what do you think people are getting wrong about ADHD? And I would love to answer that question. think there are several things people are getting extremely wrong about ADHD. And we're going to start with the most obvious one for me is that the term is wrong. ADHD. is not the representation of truly of what I'm experiencing and what other people with ADHD are experiencing because this is not only a deficit of attention. This is a deficit in a struggle in regulation. This is a frontal lobe challenge not only an attention challenge. So their name is wrong. Okay. We can choose another name. I hope that at some point we do, but I think that ADHD is not only an attention problem, it is a self-regulation problem. The other thing I wish people will understand is that we don't have an under-diagnosed problem. We're not over-diagnosing ADHD, actually the opposite. There are minorities that are under-diagnosed. Individuals above 65, women, minorities of culture and race are being under-diagnosed. So this is not a problem of over diagnosing ADHD, but opposite. These days we are under diagnosing individuals in different groups. And I go crazy when I get asked, so what do you think about the over diagnosis of ADHD? There is no over diagnosing of ADHD. It's kind of like when they found the telescope and suddenly we saw stars, is the telescope over diagnosing stars? when... ⁓ glasses were started to be affordable and we started giving them to people. There was a whole article about people getting over use of glasses. I think that that is part of the problem. We're developing tools and understanding and we're using those tools and people are saying, oh, that's overuse, where it's actually we're underusing these tools. So if you're out there and you are thinking, oh, you know, I don't have ADHD, this is an overdiagnosed problem, it's not real, it is real, go get the diagnosis if you think you have ADHD. I will add that sometimes people don't have ADHD, but have symptoms of ADHD, and there is no other label to give them, because unfortunately don't have something that's called temporary ADHD. So if, for instance, if you had brain cancer, or other severe chronic conditions, you might show symptoms of ADHD that are acquired late in life, then for you don't fit the criteria for ADHD because ADHD has to happen. Symptoms have to start before age 12. in those cases, I clearly say that you have temporary or your symptomatic symptoms that are similar to ADHD, you can benefit from some of the ADHD. research, you can benefit maybe from coaching and from therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, but ⁓ you don't fit the criteria for ADHD. And the third thing that bothers me, like rubs me the wrong way when people think it's too late to get diagnosed or to receive treatment. If you're a parent or an older adult and you're like, what's the use, or even if you were young and you think like, I'm coping, so I don't need this label. The purpose of diagnosing ADHD is not for the label. It is for understanding better. And you know what? I'm going to go back and I'm going say, yes, getting the label could help. But I want to emphasize that the purpose is for the ability to feel part of something, to be able to receive treatment, to get accommodations in the workplace if you need it, to also understand your life story. So your life story might be looked in a different lens if you understand that you have ADHD. Another question that I like asking my guests is, what would you tell young self now that you know about ADHD or now that you know about memory, now that you know about learning or any other topic we've been talking about, what will you tell young self? So from my top age of 50 something, I will tell my top self first put on sunscreen. Young needs to know that ⁓ this It is highly correlated to skin cancer and she should wear sunscreen. But on a more serious note, will tell myself that hard work that you're doing on researching and learning and becoming an expert in ADHD, but also in working hard to learn to be a reader, it's gonna pay back. You ⁓ are going be able to read books. You are going to be able to help others. You are without a doubt. be able to share this knowledge with the world and it's going to help others. And then what would I tell older me? What future me? I think I will tell future me, go girl, keep on doing this. You are amazing. And then as ADHDer, I think mantras really help. So one of the mantras I found myself walking around the house and saying, as I am doing stuff that might be more boring or more challenging, you're doing your fucking best. And that's all you need to do. You're doing your fucking best and that's all you need to do. So I am going to repeat that mantra to self. Keep on your fucking best because that's all we can do. So this is my short episode for ⁓ this Thursday. If enjoyed learning about me, learning about how I succeed to read, please subscribe. Please write comments. Please support this podcast. Do this as my birthday gift. It is my birthday month. So ⁓ support me, this podcast with others. And if you have recommendations of mysteries I should be reading, if you have recommendations or listening to, if you want to be accurate. ADHD related books or guests you think that should be on this PASGAS, please put them in the comments. Love hear your thoughts ⁓