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Why Your Backup Plan Might Be Your True Calling · Harder Than Life

• 0:07
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:23
  What is up, HDL Nation? Welcome back to the Heart of Life Podcast. I'm your host, Kelly Siegel. Let's get real raw and ready to transform. Today's episode is about something that we rarely admit but is often true. Sometimes our backup plan ends up being our best plan. This was a hard one to do because I always say when you have plan A and plan B, plan B is to make plan A work.
• 0:52
  But today we're going to debunk that. So I know it sounds a little bit counterintuitive because we're constantly told to focus on one thing. Pursue that goal relentlessly, tenaciously, like it's the only thing. And it is. But if your first plan, the one you've been gripping tightly, isn't the right plan, what if there's a bigger, better plan waiting for you?
• 1:15
  but you're so busy holding on to what you thought you wanted that you can't see what's truly possible. Hmm, this hits hard. I know you guys are, someone's listening to this, shaking their head right now going, I hear you, Kelly, I hear you. Trust me, I know what it's like. I cling to plan A so tightly that it's nearly crushed me. But when I finally surrendered, and you'll hear me say this over and over and over, let go, let God, I'm not trying to get all religious on you, but since I've been doing this over the last several years,
• 1:45
  Things just miraculously have a way of working out that really is plan A. Doesn't even matter if it's plan A, plan B. I finally surrendered. I embraced plan B. Everything changed. And that's exactly what I'm going to share with you today.
• 2:02
  We're going to dive in. But before we do that, I'm going to remind you guys, we're going to be making some changes and I'm going to be opening up the forum, the Heart of the Life Nation forum for you guys to give me lots of feedback about what you want these Thursday solo episodes for. Right now, you can message me on Instagram. I ask you guys all to please rate us on Spotify and iTunes.
• 2:25
  It helps with the algorithm and I'm going to be giving you guys a forum for you to submit what you'd like me to do podcast on. So we're listening as we're growing. So I'm committed to growing. I won't stop till I get what I came for. So plan A was writing a book and getting my life right.
• 2:47
  Plan B ended up being this massive podcast. So I'm sharing authentically and raw with you guys and hopefully it's helping. So without further ado, let's start by killing a myth. Backup plans aren't a sign of weakness. They're not an admission of defeat.
• 3:09
  Instead, they're signs of strength, adaptability, and resilience. There's this other myth about failure that I don't get what people, it's like failure is feedback, guys. If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough, or you're not extending yourself out there. So get over being worried about failure. And here's the other thing, it's only failure
• 3:35
  If you quit and give up and I see why most people do. But if you're listening to this podcast, there's no way.
• 3:42
  that you're gonna fail, and there's no way that you're gonna give up. So when I first started my business journey, I had one plan, oh God, plan A. It was IT technology cybersecurity. I actually, I started off in technology, but it was in phone, local long distance and internet, and then it morphed into cybersecurity, but that's what everybody knows me for because it's been 25 years. I poured everything into my business.
• 4:09
  Everybody hated being around me when I started this journey because it's all I ever talked about. And life as it often does had other plans for me. As you can tell with me being here in front of the camera talking to you guys. Challenges hit.
• 4:27
  Life happened, the pandemic happened, I've lost people around me, I've been betrayed by everybody known to man because I have to level up my standards of who had access to me. I lost major clients because of this, I had lawsuits happen, I lost temporary custody of my daughter, and I felt like my original dream was crashing down. The plan I had built wasn't unfolding how I had imagined.
• 4:54
  You know, if you build it, they will come. Yeah, if you start it, it will come. It sounds great on paper. I was forced to pivot, forced into plan B. Guess what? Plan B wasn't just a backup. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. So the funny thing that I do now, and I'm gonna share this, is whenever I'm sitting here with a decision, I sit quietly.
• 5:22
  Alone. So stillness, silence, and solitude. You're gonna hear me say this over and over and over again, but I do this, and I think of what my heart and soul is telling me to do, and I do the opposite. Seriously, because my heart and soul is what made me harder than life, but God and universal energy and surrendering
• 5:47
  makes me happier than life. Guys, it's uncomfortable as all get out. So really what I'm telling you about is plan B. So let me go back to my IT company, National Technology Management. It's an IT cybersecurity company. It wasn't even originally my main focus.
• 6:07
  Yet today, it's thriving more than ever, delivering unparalleled peace of mind. My backup plan became my best plan because I let go of control, stopped fighting the universe, and embraced the adaptability. Here's the truth.
• 6:24
  When you only have a plan A, you limit your potential. Life isn't linear. The greatest successes usually come from detours, pivots, and unexpected changes. And really truthfully for me, every massive win came after a major life-crenching, life-altering loss.
• 6:48
  And most people, some people, none of the people listening to this podcast would have folded. Not me, not anybody in the Heart of the Life Nation. So let's get real personal though, because that's how we connect and learn together. And you know me, I love to be vulnerable and I love to be authentic and genuine. I want to share three powerful stories from my own life where embracing my backup plan turned into massive breakthroughs.
• 7:18
  And it always starts how I started harder than life. My journey to sobriety. I hate calling it sobriety guys, so I'm just gonna call it my journey to be a non-drinker. Plan A for me, like so many entrepreneurs, with social drinking as a way to network, connect, and relax. And let my hair down and understand that this is what everybody does.
• 7:42
  But when the challenges of life piled up, alcohol wasn't a solution. It was gasoline on my fire. My so-called social tool became my biggest barrier. Sobriety was my plan B. I'd always thought about it. Since I was 30 years old, I'm like, I think there's gonna be a day that I'm not gonna drink.
• 8:04
  and then I would laugh and all my friends would laugh. So I thought it meant by not drinking, giving something up, losing something valuable, being boring, being lame, and getting made fun of. But it turned out it was the greatest gift. Not drinking amplified my mental clarity, my emotional strength, and my business acumen. It especially made me a better father, a better human, and just more calm.
• 8:32
  So plan B, not drinking, aka sobriety, transformed my life, relationships, and my leadership more than plan A ever could. And I'm very, very proud of it. It was not easy, but I'm telling you, if you're even socially drinking, this is the easiest way to scale to massive, massive wins.
• 8:58
  addition through subtraction second thing i as you've followed me at all i love to sell i love helping people and i love providing value so at ntm plan a for me was leading sales personally i was great at it my identity was deeply tied to it helping people
• 9:21
  But to scale, I had to give up control of sales and hire someone to run sales for me. It hurt my ego to step aside. I felt useless. I felt not needed. I felt like, what am I supposed to be doing? But once I embraced sales,
• 9:37
  plan B becoming the visionary leader instead of the frontline salesperson, our growth skyrocketed and we're only just beginning. I realized my true power wasn't in closing deals. It wasn't inspiring and empowering my team to attract greatness beyond what I could ever do alone. They say, if you want to go faster, go alone. You want to go further, go,
• 10:03
  Go with people. That's what I'm doing. It literally was my plan A. As a matter of fact, growing up, plan A for me was I didn't need anybody, anything. I was going to be okay because I'm harder than life and I'm tough. Boy, was I wrong. Now my plan B is working out so much better than plan A could have ever done. The third example of my personal life was the harder than life brand.
• 10:30
  My original career path was strictly business, cybersecurity, tech management. And in fact, I was a seller of local and long distance and now here I am, a cybersecurity leader, innovator. We're leading with AI and now I'm at a top podcast. We do speaking engagement. So as I started sharing my personal journey of adversity, transformation and discipline,
• 10:57
  During the pandemic, by the way, when we were in lockdown, a backup plan emerged. The speaking, the podcasting, the coaching, all through Heart of the Life. It lit me up. Sometimes you can try to avoid plan B and it's God's plan and there ain't nothing you can do about it. It's just going to happen. If you look back, the old vision hindsight's 2020, you can see the signs of
• 11:26
  where this was the path you probably should have taken anyway. So it's what's meant for you will find you. Remember, Heart of Life is more than a brand, it's a movement, it's a community where thousands come together, rewrite their legacy. Plan B doesn't just work out, it gave me purpose, passion, and the ability to impact countless lives, including yours.
• 11:50
  Thank you for tuning into this. Still more to come, guys. I'm only just getting started. Let's talk mindset. The hardest part about moving from plan A to plan B is letting go.
• 12:03
  Ooh, that's literally the hardest part about anything in life is just letting go what you thought to be true because we were raised on it. We've been beaten about it. Even the social media algorithms keep hounding us that those thoughts, which I call magical lies, are correct.
• 12:22
  But I'm telling you, it's human nature to resist change because it feels like failure. We want to use the least amount of effort to get from point A to point Z. But embracing your backup plan requires a crucial mindset shift from control to surrender. Here's what surrender isn't. It's not quitting. It's not giving up. It's not weakness. It's not even allowing, it's not even just sitting and hoping
• 12:53
  It's getting out of your own way. It's releasing the illusion of control. It's trusting that there might be a better plan unfolding for you. It's allowing yourself to be guided by something greater. Call it intuition. Call it God, the universe, whatever resonates with you. But we all know we're all made of energy.
• 13:14
  So just call it the energy. I had to let go of my ego, my pride, and identity to embrace my backup plan fully. So basically, I stripped everything down and leaned into plan B. And when I did, my entire life opened up. Now, I did not say it comes easy or naturally. That's why I play that little mind trick that I told you guys about earlier, which is,
• 13:43
  leaning is thinking of what your body's natural, your body, your soul, your mind, what your natural response to something is and doing the opposite. It is so uncomfortable. I wanna ask you right now, what are you holding onto that's preventing you from seeing a potential better plan? Let's make this real actionable. I'm gonna button it all up for you right now. If you're feeling stuck or if your plan A isn't working,
• 14:13
  or if you've never, ever, ever even initiated a plan B, here's exactly what you need to do to embrace and execute a backup plan. Number one, do a self-assessment. Write down your current plan A. Here's a pro tip. You can go to ChatGBT and talk it into it and ask, what would a plan B be?
• 14:37
  But here's what I really want you to do. That's just a try it. It's wild what that does. But ask yourself after you've written that down, is this plan bringing me joy, fulfillment, growth and success? And if you're even thinking about it, if you're even doing this, the answer is probably it's not. So step two.
• 15:00
  Identify the backup plan. And sometimes the backup plan is completely the other opposite of plan A. What would you pursue if your original plan wasn't an option? Write that down. Why does this backup plan resonate with you? Pro tip, again, do this in silence, being alone,
• 15:27
  And be still. Don't ask other people. They ain't on your journey. And everybody's, obviously, opinions are like buttholes. We all got them and they stink. This is for you. It's your life. Only you can make these decisions. Step three, small actions.
• 15:48
  Big momentum day in and day out. Take one small action towards your backup plan today, just one step, and then do it again tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. Build the consistency. Every small step creates massive change and massive confidence.
• 16:05
  Step four is accountability. This is something that we miss in this entire universe. For some reason, I don't know if it's our government and lack of accountability there, but it seems like being accountable is no longer cool. But I got a news flash for you. Radical accountability is where it's at. Take full responsibility and accountability for where you are in life. Tell someone your new plan, announce it publicly or privately.
• 16:35
  Write it down and share it with someone. Ask someone you trust to hold you accountable. Preferably someone that's either done what you're doing or fully embraces what you're going to do. When I'm doing business ventures, I go to someone who's an expert at business venture. I had coached by Dan Martell for a while. I would go to Dan for these things and he would...
• 17:00
  like a good coach would turn it around on me and ask me a bunch of questions. So don't go to somebody, you wouldn't ask relationship advice from somebody that's been divorced three times. You wouldn't go for fitness advice to someone who doesn't work out and you sure in the heck wouldn't go to, to business advice to someone who hasn't had a successful business or declared bankruptcy several times. So make sure that you go to the right people. And if you're listening to this, you're at the right place. You can DM me.
• 17:27
  Here's your wake up call, Heart of Life Nation. Your backup plan isn't your second best option. Often it's your best possible option. It might just be the pathway to the life you truly meant to live. Get out of your own way and embrace it. Once I embraced being a non-drinker, leadership, and the Heart of Life brand, my backup plans weren't just alternatives. They weren't pivots, they were upgrades.
• 17:54
  They were my true path to fulfillment and massive impact. Your challenge today is embrace that backup plan. Your detours are your destiny. I love that. Remember, your journey might look different than you had imagined, but different doesn't mean wrong. And remember, sometimes it has nothing to do with your parents think either. Your backup plan isn't a downgrade. It's your chance to live bigger, bolder, and more authentically than ever before.
• 18:25
  You need to take action because a goal without action is nothing more than a dream. So take action today. Choose one small step towards your backup plan. Share with me, tag me on social media, and I'll encourage you and inspire, and we can inspire each other. Don't forget, NTM always has your back. Keeping you secure and simplified in cybersecurity every single day. Visit trustntm.com for more.
• 18:53
  And until next time, Harder Life Nation, embrace your plan B and keep living harder than life. Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Seagull supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit trustntm.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.