Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Some narcissists like a challenge

Transcript

Some narcissists like a challenge · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on? Beautiful people.
• 0:02
  Today we are talking about how some narcissists like a
• 0:07
  challenge when it comes to dating and relationships and
• 0:09
  whatnot. Sometimes jobs and stuff too.
• 0:11
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:13
  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
• 0:15
  another episode of the Narcissist Code.
• 0:34
  Boom. Welcome back, Welcome back.
• 0:36
  Welcome back. Yes.
• 0:37
  Challenge. Challenge accepted.
• 0:40
  No, no, no. What's the The Lion King with
• 0:44
  with Mufasa and Scar at the beginning.
• 0:46
  When Scar says something smart, smart mouth to Mufasa and Mufasa
• 0:50
  said raw. Is that a challenge?
• 0:52
  It's always the what I think of when I hear the word challenge
• 0:56
  come up and whatnot. But yeah, y'all, yes, it's a lot
• 1:00
  of narcissistic people love, love, love a challenge.
• 1:05
  They just do. A lot of narcissists love a
• 1:07
  challenge. They like to be, they like to be
• 1:09
  challenged in some way, shape or form.
• 1:11
  That's the part of right there. This how it goes like they like
• 1:15
  to be challenged. They love, they they love to be
• 1:17
  challenged. Like in relationships.
• 1:20
  Like that's. This is one of the main reasons
• 1:23
  why you see a lot of narcissists go for people that they might
• 1:26
  not even really like. Like somebody.
• 1:29
  That's maybe the phrase a lot of people will use is somebody
• 1:34
  that's out of their league and things like that.
• 1:36
  Somebody that has different alternative views than they do,
• 1:41
  like different political views, different religious views,
• 1:44
  different, different, different anything.
• 1:46
  Narcissists like a challenge. They like to change people.
• 1:51
  They like to see if they can get people not and and a lot of
• 1:55
  times just being realistic is not because they actually want
• 1:58
  to be with that person for a long period of time.
• 2:00
  They just want to be challenged to see if they can do it.
• 2:03
  A lot of narcissists suffer from chronic boredom.
• 2:07
  Y'all, this is not me saying that you are a boring person.
• 2:13
  This is just me saying that a lot of narcissists suffer from
• 2:17
  being chronically bored and whatnot.
• 2:19
  They just do. This is part of it right here.
• 2:21
  This is part of how it goes. Like a lot of narcissists will
• 2:23
  suffer from this right here and in life.
• 2:27
  Especially if you reject them. Especially if you, you know, if
• 2:31
  you're playing hard to get, the harder to get, the better it is
• 2:35
  for some narcissistic people like Y'all might have different
• 2:39
  interests, but you know, they pretend to be what you want in
• 2:44
  order to get you to see if they can get you because they like to
• 2:47
  be challenged. They like it.
• 2:50
  Y'all they like when they can pull somebody down to their
• 2:53
  level. If you're up here, they love it
• 2:56
  when they get reached outside there and they get them there.
• 2:59
  Little relationship, little narcissistic relationship, tippy
• 3:02
  toes and reach up and pull you down to this level.
• 3:08
  Some of them love that, Some of them absolutely y'all.
• 3:13
  It's damn near an intoxicating feeling for a lot of
• 3:17
  narcissistic people in this space, right here in this
• 3:19
  position when they get you, when they probably shouldn't have
• 3:22
  you, you know? And that's the crazy thing about
• 3:25
  it is you would think, and I know how a non narcissistic
• 3:29
  person's mind works right here. You would think that if they
• 3:31
  work so hard to get you, why don't they just keep you?
• 3:34
  Try to. Why don't they work hard to keep
• 3:36
  you? Because they feel like they
• 3:37
  enough work to get you. I put in enough work, time,
• 3:41
  effort, energy in the beginning to I put in enough time, effort
• 3:46
  and energy in the beginning to get you now it's just like, OK
• 3:50
  now that I've done this why I need to put work in That's why
• 3:54
  they love bomb you. The love bombing in the
• 3:57
  beginning is the work, the love bombing.
• 3:59
  And like I said that's why I'm saying like the love bombing
• 4:02
  time period can be extended. It doesn't like, it doesn't just
• 4:05
  end, you know? I mean like there's no set
• 4:08
  timetable on when they will end. It does just end, but there's no
• 4:11
  set timetable on when the love bombing phase will come to an
• 4:15
  end. You see, like some Love bombing
• 4:18
  phases last a week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks and y'all live off that
• 4:22
  for years. You know, some of them last
• 4:23
  months, some of them like come damn near last a year or so.
• 4:26
  Y'all. It just really depends on how
• 4:28
  like you can you can do a slow drip love bomb.
• 4:32
  The love bomb can be set off in the it's a it's a chain reaction
• 4:36
  of bombs. It's not just one big bomb.
• 4:38
  It's one cumulative bomb. It's one.
• 4:39
  It's a little a lot of mini explosions that lead up to one
• 4:43
  big one big bomb. You see what I'm saying?
• 4:45
  But that happens. That's why I tell so many people
• 4:50
  when you're dealing with a narcissistic person, Y'all when
• 4:52
  you're dealing with somebody that you might think it's toxic
• 4:55
  or somebody that's you not. This is how do I say this.
• 5:00
  I need to say this in a in a very a way that it doesn't
• 5:03
  disrespect people, but y'all If you are not attracted to them
• 5:06
  initially. If you are not, this person is
• 5:10
  not within your whatever levels you set, whatever standards you
• 5:14
  have. If this person is not who you
• 5:16
  would like, if you have to force yourself to be attracted to this
• 5:21
  person or this person, you know really really messed up the
• 5:24
  first date and come back the second date.
• 5:25
  A completely different person. Y'all, just if you don't like
• 5:32
  the person at first, don't like, yeah, don't change it up.
• 5:34
  Y'all because narcissistic people hate rejection, right?
• 5:38
  They hate being rejected. They hate feeling like they are
• 5:41
  less than you, like you like you are more like you are greater
• 5:46
  than them. So they'd like to pull you down
• 5:48
  so that if you tell them no, some of them hate the word no,
• 5:51
  so they will keep. It's like, you know, they will
• 5:53
  keep trying and trying and trying until they get a damn
• 5:55
  yes. They hate the word no until they
• 5:58
  get a yes. You see what I'm saying?
• 5:59
  They hate, they hate it. They hate it.
• 6:01
  So they will keep trying to get you until you say yes, just to
• 6:04
  hurt you, just to hurt you, just to get you in a relationship, to
• 6:08
  treat you horribly. Because you said that first.
• 6:10
  No, because you hurt me at first.
• 6:13
  Now I'm going to be angry at you later on.
• 6:16
  Now I'm not going to let this go.
• 6:17
  That's how it goes right there. Y'all.
• 6:19
  That's a unique, that's a very unique space that so many people
• 6:22
  fall into. If you say no to them at first
• 6:25
  or you put them in the friend zone at first, or you just
• 6:27
  you're not interested in them at first, y'all stay uninterested
• 6:30
  in them. But I was just telling you,
• 6:32
  narcissistic people hold grudges.
• 6:33
  If you've rejected them in the past, they like a challenge to
• 6:36
  try to get you right now and they will treat you horribly
• 6:38
  because they feel like they are a second filter.
• 6:40
  They were not your first choice. So now I'm going to treat you
• 6:43
  horribly because you chose somebody else before me.
• 6:45
  When I show interest in you, that's the challenge that they
• 6:48
  like. If you make more money than
• 6:50
  them, that's the challenge that they like.
• 6:51
  If you are more physically or conventionally attractive than
• 6:54
  them, that's the challenge. That they like different
• 6:57
  religion. That's the challenge.
• 6:59
  They like different political affiliation.
• 7:00
  Y'all know, especially in America, how damn polarized
• 7:03
  politics. I hate election years.
• 7:07
  I just say like I hate election years because you see people's
• 7:10
  true colors come out. There's some, there's some vow,
• 7:13
  vow, vow people out here. But yes, that's how it goes.
• 7:18
  Y'all. That's really literally how it
• 7:20
  goes. They love a challenge.
• 7:23
  And this is like, it's not just to get you in a relationship.
• 7:25
  The type of challenge that they like, another type of challenge
• 7:28
  that they really, really enjoy is to get you back in a
• 7:32
  relationship. If they've done something
• 7:35
  horrible to you, they've cheated on you, They lied to you, they
• 7:38
  left, they left you for your friend.
• 7:41
  They've moved on like they've left you for one of your friends
• 7:44
  or family members. They've chose somebody else
• 7:46
  above you. They've treated, they're
• 7:48
  treated, you know, they're courting someone else.
• 7:50
  That's the old word, old Tommy word.
• 7:52
  Courting someone else. They've treated you horribly and
• 7:55
  you've broken up with them and or or they've left you and to to
• 7:59
  try to get you back is a challenge that they love.
• 8:03
  Y'all. If they successfully get you
• 8:06
  back after they've done something horrible and
• 8:09
  unforgivable to you, they feel like they're just like on top of
• 8:12
  the world. That's like that's damn, there's
• 8:13
  there's a drug right there that's a high, you know, You
• 8:17
  know, that's a high for them. Wow, you really got back with
• 8:20
  me. I thought I did this horrible
• 8:21
  stuff to you. Wow.
• 8:24
  I'm a really Be the man. Yes.
• 8:27
  I'm a really be the IT girl. Yes, I'm, you know I am.
• 8:31
  Damn, you know. You know they get into their
• 8:33
  space and their minds and their mentality.
• 8:36
  I really am that guy. You know, they feel good about
• 8:40
  treating you horribly and getting back with you.
• 8:42
  That's a challenge. Yo.
• 8:44
  When like I said again, the high, the challenge is in the is
• 8:49
  in the high. Who the hell is this?
• 8:51
  You know the challenge is right there in the high, right there.
• 8:55
  Y'all. That's the challenge they they
• 8:57
  face right there is getting you back.
• 9:00
  Yeah. And they might treat you good
• 9:01
  for a little while, but then they just go right back to
• 9:03
  treating you horribly. The challenge was to get you.
• 9:06
  And then they do it again and again and again and again until
• 9:08
  they probably get bored and just leave you alone for good.
• 9:11
  They exhaust you. The challenge isn't fun anymore.
• 9:14
  It's not a challenge anymore because they know it's going.
• 9:16
  It no longer becomes a challenge.
• 9:18
  The more times you take them back, the less of a challenge it
• 9:20
  is. You know?
• 9:22
  It's like now it's boring. Like, well, I've cheated on you
• 9:24
  15 times and you took me back, so now it's boring.
• 9:26
  I know you're going to take me back.
• 9:27
  And then they'll leave you alone.
• 9:29
  They'll leave you alone. They'll leave you high, dry and
• 9:31
  broken, and you'll be angry and sell it the world.
• 9:33
  That's what I'm just telling you.
• 9:35
  Some narcissists love a challenge.
• 9:37
  Just to treat you horribly, Just to make you feel bad about
• 9:41
  yourself, just to make you feel insignificant.
• 9:43
  Just to make you feel insecure. Just to.
• 9:45
  Just to. Yeah, just to jest.
• 9:47
  Just to jest. That's where it goes.
• 9:50
  So I want so many people out. This was my goal right here.
• 9:53
  Somebody asked me like why do you do what you do on social
• 9:56
  media? What's the what's the point of
• 9:57
  the YouTube, YouTube channel? So y'all, I want to help as many
• 10:00
  people as possible live a healthy, happy, authentic lives
• 10:04
  because that's what my goal is for myself.
• 10:08
  It just is. So I'm everybody who likes and
• 10:11
  comments and shares and watching my videos to the end.
• 10:13
  I truly, truly appreciate y'all, everybody who subscribes to my
• 10:16
  channel. I truly appreciate y'all,
• 10:17
  because my challenge right now is a challenge to help as many
• 10:21
  people as possible, people who didn't think they could be
• 10:23
  reached, people who didn't think that their minds could be
• 10:26
  changed. That's my challenge.
• 10:27
  You see what you're saying? That's I chased that high, and
• 10:28
  that's a high. There's there's plenty of people
• 10:31
  I can help. You know what I mean?
• 10:32
  Help rather than hurt. You know, I chase that right
• 10:35
  there until, until that narcissistic person in your life
• 10:39
  is chasing, you know, the ability to get people back and
• 10:42
  hurt people. They yeah, that's who they're
• 10:44
  going to be because that's where they get their high from.
• 10:47
  That's where they get their for their fulfillment from is by
• 10:50
  hurting people. You know what I mean?
• 10:52
  Literally by hurting people, this is what they do.
• 10:56
  This is the mindset. This is the the.
• 10:57
  I'm just telling y'all this is where it goes.
• 11:00
  This is how it happens. So you have to be as strong as
• 11:03
  you possibly can in order to live the life that you want.
• 11:06
  And you can live authentically because you have to choose you.
• 11:09
  What is your challenge? You have to challenge yourself
• 11:14
  to live a healthier life, to live a better life, to
• 11:16
  understand you don't need this person.
• 11:19
  You mean there's more time you take them back.
• 11:20
  The less of a challenge it is, the more bored they become with
• 11:23
  you and they will discard you and get rid of you.
• 11:25
  But just because they discard you and get rid of you does not
• 11:28
  mean that they will leave you alone.
• 11:29
  They will still make your life a living hell.
• 11:32
  The challenge for you is to live your life as healthy and
• 11:35
  authentic as possible. Self love is the greatest love.
• 11:39
  Y'all, But so I need to hop off this thing.
• 11:41
  Check out myself, Love Journal on Amazon.
• 11:43
  Y'all join my newsletter if you haven't.
• 11:45
  I'm releasing my first course this week.
• 11:47
  It's a seven day course. It's not y'all, it's an amazing
• 11:50
  course. It comes with a community as
• 11:52
  well. The link is in the description
• 11:53
  of every single video and podcast that I do.
• 11:56
  I'm so thankful for y'all. So grateful for y'all and to
• 11:59
  help this out. Peace.
• 12:01
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 12:03
  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
• 12:05
  for being here. If you haven't already, make
• 12:07
  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 12:10
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 12:12
  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 12:15
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 12:17
  fault on Amazon, so check that out.
• 12:19
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
• 12:21
  video. Peace.