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Social Emotional Wellness For Women · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and ideas to inspire positive change.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Divas that Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: To find out more about the movement, visit DivasThatCarecom after the show.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Good evening everyone.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I am Sheba, a part of Sheba Shares, which is affiliated with the Divas that Care Network.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: I have the awesome privilege and honor to have Mrs Keyshawn in front of me to host our event, our interview as it relates to social wellness for women.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, my tongue is getting tied.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, we're here for each other here, which is, I mean, I think, that this is definitely timely, right?
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: It's appropriate, it's needed, it's needed, it's needed.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: So this is a perfect platform to share this space, just to share.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: You know, this is what we're here for to share your expertise, to share your tips, your guidance, your advice, so forth and so on.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: And so, ms Keyshawn, tell us you know a little bit about yourself.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Well, my name is Keyshawn and first of all I want to say thank you for having me here today.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: This is a great space and I feel the energy and I can't wait to share and talk with you about all kinds of things.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: So we're going to try to stick to social, emotional health of women.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: But I was born and raised in Brooklyn, new York.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I'm a Brooklyn girl and Brooklyn girls Woohoo, brooklyn girls.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: And, yeah, I truly grew up in a diverse neighborhood and currently, by profession, I'm a leadership coach, trainer and mental wellness advocate, and you know, I have my beautiful family, my children and my husband, and we are just moving along especially in this time, trying to be there for each other in any way that we can, right?
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: So you mentioned what your current you know business and profession is, and so would you say that the cause that's near and dear is social, mental wellness.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Yes, I would definitely say that I have really fell in love with mental wellness, particularly in women and women of color, I think.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: First, let me define what I mean by social, emotional health.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: They manage those emotions, especially in stressful times like we're living in right now.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: How they communicate, how they feel about themselves and just how they're able to manage from day to day.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: I know we were talking a little bit earlier about just managing and dealing with our own lives earlier, about just managing and dealing with our own lives.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: But mental health, mental wellness, doesn't just mean those buzzwords like self-care and lighting candles Although we do that, although we take the bubble baths because we need them Okay, we need them, we need them, all right.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: So we don't exclude those kinds of things but really taking care of our insides so that we can just be healthier, have healthier self-esteem, have confidence, just be able to say this is how I'm feeling and even if the other person doesn't acknowledge it, I'm still able to say it, I'm still able to be heard and I'm still able to move forward, regardless of what other people do, and I just think well mothers, well women support, well children, right.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: So if we're not well, if, if we're not filling ourselves up with the things that we need.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: We can't do that for other people and I, I'm, I'm an education, so you know children are near and dear to me.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: Experience and see their parents going through certain things are going to experience, or more likely to experience, the same things and handle them the same way.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: So once we are well, we can just support our communities in a better way.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's so critical because, you know, especially, it seems like there's.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: We go through these phases right of fads where, like you said, these buzzwords, oh, self-care, and you know I put my incense or, like you said, bubble baths and things like that but what you're alluding to is that there's a deeper meaning behind.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: You know, some of these practices.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: If that, if that, so to speak, right, and there's like a there's a deeper impact and a deeper need.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Honestly, you know it's so beyond just, you know, self-care is so beyond just like this surface.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: And also, if I could say it's beyond this fad, right, yeah it's not trending right it's not trending this is almost like a lifestyle.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: It's a lifestyle, um, so that, wow, that's amazing.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: And of course, you know we're both in education.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: So children, you do see these.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: In some cases they say like these uh, generational, you know things that you have generations, and if you pay, attention to these things, because if you're not paying attention to it, it can almost catch you by surprise.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: Yes, when you say generational things.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: When they do studies and children are provided services in therapy or in school and for, maybe, anxiousness or anxiety, they usually uncover that the parents are experiencing the same things, and nine times out of 10, it's the women in their lives, their mothers, who are experiencing it.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: And so when we look at our mental health and we look at our families and then extend that into our communities, how we manage things, how we handle things as women, really echoes right.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: It reaches further than we can touch and we want to make sure that doesn't mean we don't, you know, get upset about things.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: It doesn't mean we don't have problems.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: It doesn't mean we walk around like you know the flower girl who has the flowers in the basket, throwing them as we're walking right.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: It doesn't mean any of that.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: It just means we've learned how to healthily manage it right.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: We don't suppress it.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: You had a bad day.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: You had a bad day, right, but what do I do with that energy?
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: How do I build myself up after having so much on my shoulder all day long?
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: You know that's.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: It's so funny that you mentioned that, because I'm going to tell you a quick story.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: My mother, she has this.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: It's beyond fair.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Whatever is it, phobia is beyond fair of water water.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Like you know.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: And so when I have a, my oldest sister, one time, you know, our children, they're ready to go head first, like, let's go there's, you know, there's no, there's no fear, doesn't even exist with them.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: We, you know, you know, like you said, kind of put those feelings onto them.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: So she's ready to, you know, dive head first and having a great time.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately, you know, she was about to drown, right.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: And so, from that point forward, my mother made a decision that none of her children would ever go near water out of this fear of them drowning.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: You know, to date, none of us, like I mean I, have a fear of water and don't even know why, like until I had to say wait, wait, hold on.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Like this is, this is something that was given to me.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I didn't, you know, accept it with a big red bow, like you said, but it was, it was literally just given to me.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Um, and I remember when I was in Costa Rica, we were doing ziplining and I, literally, I literally saw my life flash, because not only is she afraid of water, she's afraid of heights, you know and so.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking, I mean I'm telling.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: It took them at least 15 minutes to convince me.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: You know what broke.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Honestly, what broke this fear was when just as you said, I thought about my son and I was like, okay, even though he's not here with me present, but that is something about this energy, like he doesn't have to be with me present, because if I'm like, like you said before, if it's going to be a lifestyle, it's not these isolated moments.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, when he sees me, let me act like you know, lights, camera, action.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: No, it's just the idea of him, even if he never knows.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: You know like mommy was able to face this fear, and I swear they looked at me like what just happened.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: It's a tone to a different person.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm zipping and the zip line, it was 11.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: So they said now you're really crazy, but I'm zipping like Tarzan on, you know, and it was the funniest.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: But it was a wonderful experience, so much so that when I went to Haiti, I did it with no thought, no hesitation, no hesitation Buckle me up.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's pretty in Haiti because you're over the water, anyway, but that's besides the point.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I was just, you know, but I was just using it as an example because it's so true, it's so.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: I wholeheartedly believe that children have no concept of fear.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: It's something that we it's almost like we force onto them, you know and in some ways, it becomes limiting.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, you know, we create this blueprint, right.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: We create this pathway to all the things that we have inside of us.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Even after we give birth, there's still these pathways, these connections that we have with them on a daily basis.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: And I'm so excited that you were able to say, look, I need to show and practice something different so that my son doesn't have these same weights.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: His blueprint is now going to change towards certain behaviors.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: Right, because you're now.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: You still may get a tingle inside, but you've made the decision to say I've had enough and I'm moving on.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: Right, and that's what he's now going to see and practice.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: And that's what's amazing.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: We always have the option to change our minds and the option to reflect that.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: That reflection, right.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: As a coach, I always tell people humans reflect.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: You know, get quiet, take that time, and you're going to notice so many things, just like you know.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: You're making the connections here as we're talking, and you're going to notice so many things, just like you know, you're making the connections here as we're talking.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: You're like, look, yeah, I had to make that decision yeah, you know, two of the things that come to mind as we're having this conversation is mindfulness and emotional intelligence.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know, share your thoughts about how that connects to social and emotional wellness.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: So one of the practices that we discuss and use when it comes to social emotional development is coping and managing, and we practice those things like mindfulness to help us just develop our own sense of confidence and strength when it comes to calming ourselves down or becoming more self-aware, or really taking time to think about a situation before reacting.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: Reacting it's about really saying to yourself let me take care of myself, let me take care of my thoughts, because we always think taking care of ourselves is, you know, physical, but when it comes to really we think something, then we react.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: Right, so that thinking part really has to be nurtured and you really have to think about ways to just connect the mind and the body so they're in sync, so that you know, even when you're thinking certain thoughts, you can respond differently.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Right, so it's just using those mindfulness strategies, but connecting your mind and your body so that your actions aren't just need your reactions to situations or to what people say and do towards you, and really just helping yourself develop a sense of self.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: Right, you learn so much about yourself when you learn new behaviors.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: You respond and you go.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: I didn't even know I had it in me to do that, right, but that all, yeah, you, you want.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: You're like, oh, that was good, but it takes practice, you know.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: And, um, I have a, a friend of mine who says she's a therapist and she always says, you know, I don't say practice makes perfect, I say practice makes improvement.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: And if you're always thinking about improvement, then you're not trying to reach a destination with whatever you're doing, you're just trying to constantly revisit what you're doing to make sure that it's right for you.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: You know, that reminds me of something that I always mention in my coaching sessions as it relates to classroom teachers, especially as I know, like you said, listen, we're talking about social, emotional wellness.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I would always remind them right as far as early.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: It's about the process, like you said, it's not about that product.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: You know, and that's the society that we lived in is this product, product, product and people overlook, underestimate, you know, sometimes disregard this whole process of evolving, you know, to self, greater self, better self, improved self.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: And this is not English, listeners, this is not English, but I'm going to make this up.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, go for it, because, oh, and now it just slipped my mind, oh, wellness, self.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Grab that back.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: I was like I don't know what that word means, but no, but seriously, you know, it's that, it's, it's this process, um, and not necessarily the product.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: And every time that I've mentioned that in the sessions, it's like this light bulb, it's like you know what you're right, um, you know, cause it's almost like you're putting this, this, um, false expectation, right, you know, um, your ex and it's, and it's great to have expectation of people by all means, but you know it has to be appropriate, right, you know it has to be appropriate.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: So that was very, very powerful.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: You know what you said.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: So, just mentioning, you know, as far as coaching, so tell me, expound more of what do you do, what services you know, what do you do?
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: So tell me, expound more of what do you do, what services you know, what do you do?
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: Share with me.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: So, through the educational leadership and coaching part of my business, I really work with a lot of educational organizations school districts, principals, directors of programs, other organizations who support our educational system and I really help them to think about ways to improve how they work with adults right and thinking about how their systems work together to not only improve performance but relationships, because relationships are the foundation of everything.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: If we don't know how to get along, if we don't know how to talk to each other, if we don't even recognize when it's not okay to knock on the office door or go into the classroom or we have to be able to just build relationships that are strong amongst the adults wherever we work right, even in our own homes.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Building those relationships are fundamental because without them I don't really know you, I don't really know what to expect and every day feels like I'm walking on eggshells.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: But if we have an understanding right, we just met but we have this know, you know something about her that will help me in this situation that we're in now.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: So we really start.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: No matter who it is a leader, a teacher, the school support services, whoever it is we really work on building relationships.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: Whoever it is, we really work on building relationships and once we have that down or you know, we're ready to move on.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: I don't know if we ever get it down, but the great thing is that we try to go further and understand everyone's needs, because if we don't know what's needed, everyone has different needs.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: So we try to support them by looking at the individual needs or the different pockets in the organization that really need support and work on the things that they want to work on.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: That's the beauty of coaching you really get to lead your process.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: There's not many spaces where you're the owner of your learning or your process.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: You talked a lot about process.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: So if I'm the owner of my process, then that really changes my trajectory right.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: I don't have that person saying you didn't do this or you didn't reach this level or you didn't attain that goal.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: No matter what you do, you're going to be successful because you're going to go through the process.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: So that really encompasses everything that I do with educational leadership and coaching and for mental wellness.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: It's really about helping.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: This part of me really wanted to give back to my community.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: I really wanted to support in a different way women and children in a different way and I wanted to support them so that it would be sustainable.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: And the elements of that is education.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: I have to know what mental health is.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: I have to know how I can get it right.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: I got to know how I can get it.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: I really got to know how to get it, and that's what a lot of people that keeps them from moving forward, because I get all this understanding, this information, but what's the next like?
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: What's holding me back right?
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: What are the barriers?
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: And usually with mental health, there's a stigma, especially in communities of color, amongst African-American people.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: There are certain stigmas that we have about getting help and we only we say, ok, I have my faith, I have my spirituality, that's going to get me through.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: But they lack the understanding of what the root cause of their emotions are or their situations.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: So it's hard to take that next step and that's what we do in our monthly forum calls.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: We really think about how we connect the understanding to the steps and giving really practical strategies on how to do that.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Woo I know that is a lot to unpack.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, mental wellness is yeah, even as it relates to, you know, I was, cause I was, I was really reflecting on something that you said just over the course of a few weeks now.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Just mental health health, sorry, mental wellness, rather in faith based settings, right, you know, like and like you said, is there's certain topics that I mean honest.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: I consider myself to be a church girl, to be honest with you.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, my mother started going to church, you know, I mean when I was two.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: You know, so this is, and like again, just this, you know this influence, if I can say, for the lack of a better word, just this is all you know.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: If your mother only ate corn, chances are no, seriously, you're going to love corn.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: You don't want to try broccoli?
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: No, I don't like it, but it's not the fact that you don't like it, you've never, been exposed to it, you know, and so the same thing holds true to this, this, this idea, or this topic, um, as it relates to mental health and faith-based or churches, you know, faith-based um organizations and settings, um, it's almost like the elephant in the room, to be honest with you because, like you said, well, pray, pray, pray, you know, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, Um, but this, this, there's a practicality you know that many people, um overlook, Right, and so that that that's, that's great, that's yeah.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just like I said, it just was it triggered something, because I don't say trigger in a bad way, it literally was something I was thinking.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: I was just thinking about this because I know a lot of people, especially now, and it's, I mean, multiplied since 2020.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Exactly, you know it's like there was there was something that I've heard many years ago that has changed my life.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, and I always repeat it in certain spaces and I, for some reason, I feel like I should repeat it now what I've heard is that purpose, right, is not like this boom bang shang, you know, it's not like this outward explosive event that happens, right.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: What I heard is that purpose is fulfilling a need.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: No, I swear to.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, wait, what I've never heard that before in my life, right, and so, tying it back to you know, the pandemic, as we all know, I mean, this is the world.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: It's like an epidemic that the world is, you know, faced so many people tapped into their purpose because this was a need, you know, like, even in relationships, like you mentioned before, relationships, marriage, you know, partnerships, you know, a lot of times people were not used to Talking.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Being in the same room, being in the same room.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Just, you know, sharing literally, even though you know we we have this thing here, right, but just sharing the same space for more than five minutes.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: Listen, I'm brushing exactly, I'll see you later, you know.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: so it forced to talk, share space.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: You know, um, um.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Look at some of the things that you've overlooked in this, this passing, this living, you know this living, and so I've seen a lot of I'm serious I've seen a lot of people you know step into that uncharted territory and, in some cases, really taking this healthy risk, because some people are not comfortable having that conversation either.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Right, you know.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: so it is just, yeah, it's very, very challenging to have that, that conversation, because, especially as you mentioned before, in you know African-American homes and families, you, there's no such thing as weakness, sister, Exactly.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: There's no such thing as what are you talking about?
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: You have anxiety.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: As what are you talking about?
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: You have anxiety.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Or what are you talking about?
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: You know you hear many young boys right, boys don't cry.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: Or you know not to say that it doesn't happen in other cultures and things you know.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: But the truth of the matter is that and and it's just as they say, the proof is in the pudding the proof is in the pudding is that it happens more in these populations.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean, and so, as I mentioned before, if you don't have an outlet, then what?
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: If you don't have first, if you were never taught right, if it's not in your proximity, if it's not something that you see every day, you don't know.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Just like you said, if I'm only giving corn, don't veer from what I know and then expect me to embrace it right away.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: People go oh, you always saying time to reflect, time to reflect.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, because reflection allows us to become still and really think about.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: Right, we're in this space and you start reflecting about yeah, why am I afraid of water?
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, but now I need to make that connection.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Why don't I do this in church?
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: Or they don't do this in church?
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: It gives us an opportunity to have a different perspective, right, and it gives us a chance for thinking about things differently.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: When you reflect, it's not about just thinking about how am I going to change?
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: People think change is often taking away.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: Change can be adding to right Adding value.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Taking away Change can be adding to right Adding value.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: You don't have to take away when you're thinking about what to do next.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: It's what can I add?
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: What will make me feel better?
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: What would get me to the place where I feel I need to be?
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: And if I don't know where that place is.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: How do I begin to explore?
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: You talk about purpose and one of the things that came to me during this pandemic was what did I need?
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: Right, because it changes, it does.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: It's not constant.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: Right, it changes and that's okay.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: It's supposed to right Once I got that concept down.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, change, you know once I got that down
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: but it's constant and it's inevitable.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: So what did I need?
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: And I?
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: I needed a space where I could share my fears right, where I can express how I felt, where I wouldn't feel, um, even reluctant to go full effect with it, right, even just just to say.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: It's so hard sometimes for women to say, you know, I'm I, I need a moment to breathe, right, I need a moment for it to be quiet.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: We're so busy and just trying to keep things together, to hold it all together, that we are doing that, we are moving, and it takes a toll on not only our mental health but our physical health, and I needed a space right, and out of that space came a purpose.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: Space right, and out of that space came a purpose.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: Yes, we have lots of platforms and I love it and I engage in all of them as many as I can anyway, because it helps me right, and we get to talk.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: The more you suppress and keep things in, you don't find out what you need to find out about yourself.
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: So out of that need came this purpose to create a safe space for women and women of color to just be themselves, to say it's hard.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: This has happened to me.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: I don't want to be like this anymore.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: I need help.
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: I need support and and that may mean spiritual help that I might need to find God right.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: I may need to just think about all of those things that are holding me back, and I may need someone to do that lovingly right, and then I may need someone to say, uh-uh, this is what's happening.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: And I may not be able to help you here, but here are the resources and I can get you to that next step if you want to go.
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: So that word purpose is really powerful, because it wasn't a place that I needed to go, it wasn't a destination I needed to have, it wasn't just a word.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: So it's really important.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's amazing.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: That's amazing.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: As you know, coaches, basically in our right, of course, as you mentioned before, goal setting right.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Especially, a lot of people do this at the beginning of the year and you're not talking about that right now, right, but as it relates to goal setting and I wanted to make sure that I, you know, ask this question.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: So, when discussing setting goals surrounding mental wellness or mental health, right, what are the five keys you want women or women of color right To get?
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: What is the takeaway?
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: I want to say, listeners, you should be sitting down.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: Sit down.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: This is where you pull out your pen or your tablet or your iPhone, and you know, this is, this is the punchline, so this is what we want to make sure that you get right.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: So, what are the five?
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: What are the five keys?
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: Yes, so fasten your seatbelts, let's go on this ride Right.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: And I I just want to emphasize that.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: So during I wrote a coaching workbook, a 10-day self-coaching guide workbook surrounding wellness, and we started with self-love, because you don't need anyone or anything to help you with that goal but yourself.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: And I emphasize in that workbook the five keys that you need to reaching any goal right.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: And the first one is to get grace, and that's to really allow yourself to be yourself, not to have any pressure from anyone or anybody, and to become more aware about the things that you want.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: We talked about that getting still, but really embracing yourself and thinking about your own possibilities what makes me unique, wonderful and writing it down right, so you can really see it on paper.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: And the next key is to get growth.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: I can think I'm awesome.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: I can say I want to do all these wonderful things, but I need to do something to help myself grow.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: Right, I need, I've accepted myself by giving myself grace.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: I've done all the things that I needed to do, but do I need to take a class?
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: Do I need to get more education?
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: You know everybody always saying you know, just go for it, just do it, but there has to be some preparation in your process, right.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: It just doesn't happen overnight.
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: And then we, after you get growth, you got the graveyard right.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: Les Brown says the most wonderful ideas are in the graveyard.
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, there go, les Brown, there.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: So, just having movement right, whatever that looks like to you.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and and I'm not talking about you got to go fast or go slow.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: If you ever heard the story of the tortoise in the hair, he, you know the hair went to sleep.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: He was, so, you know, full of himself like, oh, I can get there, I'll do it, and I'll wake up.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: And then it'll happen.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: And then, when it doesn't go your way, you realize you need to go back.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: And the tortoise was all about the process.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: The tortoise said I'm going to stay focused, I don't care what people say, I don't care what they do, I'm going to run my race and it is going to be a finish line.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: And I just want you to set a target.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: Don't worry about overachieving or underachieving.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: We set a target and we learn and we go through the process.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: So I know we always talk about work hard, you'll get there, you'll do this.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: But you know you got to build some self-confidence, so you got to get glad, right, you got to build your self-confidence, so I set my target.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: If I didn't achieve it or I didn't hit the target, I still got going.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: I still had some growth.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: I had some movement towards the things that are really valuable to me.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: And I say to myself and I learned to celebrate myself and I keep doing that, that practice, that practice.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: And once you do that you say you know I'm ready to celebrate, I'm ready to revel in all of my accomplishments.
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: Tamron Hall, the daytime talk show host, she was like when I was pitching my show, I decided that I'm going to boast, I'm going to tell people about who I am and what I did, and not in a way that puts anyone else down, but not worry about other people's opinions of me and not downplay myself, because it makes others feel good, and just giving and getting glory.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: You didn't do this alone, right?
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: I don't care who you are, what you are, always, always revel and celebrate.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: Boast if you want to, but humble yourself.
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: You know give and get glory.
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: Let someone know, uh, show homage right to your ancestors.
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: You're standing on somebody's back, someone who came before you.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: Acknowledge and recognize those things and those people and with that I'm sure you'll reach and do all the things that you want to do in your life.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's absolutely positively.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: Wait, super califragilisticexpialidocious.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: I was going there too, I said let's go, let's go, let's go.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: No, I'm kidding, I missed my opportunity on the spelling bee.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: No, I'm kidding.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I missed my opportunity on the spelling bee.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking, wow.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: Well, this, oh my goodness.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Talk about wealth, right?
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: People think about wealth and money and riches and houses, but this is wealth, right, because it is generational, generational, wow, wow.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: I'm just like this was amazing.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: Amazing, and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: So I feel like we have to come back.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I would love to come back.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: I would love it.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: You would have to come back.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: You have to seriously, we'll have to set up time and we'll do a part two for sure.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: Definitely.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: Mrs Keisha, just tell us where can we find you, please?
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: I'm kidding.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: You can find me on Instagram at Keystone Training.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: You can find me on Facebook at keystonetrainingeducation.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: You can find me on my website at yourkeystonetrainingcom, and you can go to yourkeystonetrainingcom slash wellness to download the 10 day self coaching guide that will support you initially with setting a goal surrounding self-love, but also any goal you want to reach and attain.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Wow, that is so amazing.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you, we're going to wrap it up, but you have to come back, listen.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: I would love to I came back, but definitely, I mean it would have you on every host, but no, but it was such a privilege to share this time.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for all the work that you're doing.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: As I said before, and.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: I'm going to reiterate purpose is fulfilling a need.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: So, every single day that you, you know you can provide a solution, right or an answer.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: You fulfill purpose, and so I'm hoping, out of many of the things that were shared, you've gained many tips and tools aha moments in some cases, but then also just understanding you know purpose, right and just how that can happen every single day.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: So thank you so much again.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: So the listeners please listen.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: You have to come back and listen to.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: I will.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: I will share is my pleasure.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: So just make sure that you share the links and so that other people can gain this wealth.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: So to all our listeners, until next time.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in, bye, bye.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: This show was brought to you by Divas that Care.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram and, of course, on divasthatcarecom, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.