Latest / The Entrepreneur's Wife: Finding Purpose as the Helper of a Small Business Owner in a Feminist Obsessed World / I married an Entrepreneur... Here's what it's really like

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I married an Entrepreneur... Here's what it's really like · The Entrepreneur's Wife: Finding Purpose as the Helper of a Small Business Owner in a Feminist Obsessed World

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What is up, guys?
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of the Entrepreneur's Wife Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Carly Brains.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, this is a podcast where we talk about finding purpose as the helper to our small business owners in this feminist obsessed world.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: And for today's episode, we're going to be talking about what it's really like being an entrepreneur's wife.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I have some questions.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: I did a QA, had some people send in some questions, and then I have general questions that we will go over.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Number one is what surprises you most about being married, or what surprises you most about being married to an entrepreneur?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, probably there is a statistic about successful entrepreneurs, they're they have a very small gap between when they get an idea and when they execute that idea.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's a very, very small gap.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Most people, that gap is very large.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: They take time to think about it.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not bad to think about an idea, but what makes entrepreneurs successful is they think of an idea and then they just like figure it out and execute it.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: That probably has surprised me the most of like how quick Briston is to make decisions.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he like when he thinks of an idea, he's serious.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know a lot of people think of ideas and they're like, oh, like this would be cool, or we could do this, you know, right?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like you're fantasizing, but you're you're probably not being like legit.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, if he says an idea, he's like being legit.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: So that has surprised me the most.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, number two, how do you keep your marriage from becoming just another part of the business?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I will say so.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I no longer work in the business, I like help with some stuff, but I when I was a full-time employee and he worked full-time for the business, that was really hard.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like our life, I'm gonna I'm gonna state this.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: When I married Briston, I didn't realize I was also marrying Texas Outlaw, and that's something that if you if your husband's thinking about starting a business or if you're thinking about marrying an entrepreneur, you really have to consider that.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are marrying the person, you're also marrying the small business, and so um, this was really hard in the beginning when I was working full-time for it and he was working full-time for it because our life just revolved around the business.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: This was before we had kids, or our first daughter was a baby, and so there wasn't like much outside of the business that we really had to talk about.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And um now I will say, like, once you have kids, I'm no longer working full-time for the business.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: It does get a little easier.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have personal ambitions that I'm trying to pursue, like writing books, and there's other things that we like aspirations that we have.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think like the biggest advice that I would give for how to keep your marriage from becoming like just another part of the business is like have goals in your marriage outside of the business that has nothing to do with the business.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: So even though the business pays you, like we have goals that really doesn't have to do with the business.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we want to visit every national park as a family and camp.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's really important to us.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we eventually want to build a house and we just found some land that we're eventually wanting to purchase.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, have goals for your family and for your marriage that doesn't revolve on the business, and that's gonna help you keep it separate because you're always gonna go back to those goals.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Have there been times when the business took priority over your marriage?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: How did you handle it?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, of course, yes, there have been times where I felt like sorry, I have my six-month-old down here in her little chair.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna bounce her in her little bouncy chair.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Those are lifesavers, by the way.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is not sponsored, but if you're having a kid, get you a bouncy chair.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: It both of our girls loved them.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it calmed them down when they were fussy.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, have there been times when the business took priority of your marriage?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think in the beginning phase when we first got married.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, what you need to understand is like we did not necessarily build this business together.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it wasn't like we got married and then we decided to grow this business.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: This business already existed um before we got married.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like I met Briston the month that he started Texas Outlaw.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I've always known him and Texas Outlaw, but like at the same time frame, but we did not grow at the beginning, we did not grow the business together.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was something that I essentially married into.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was his everything.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So like this was his baby, this was, if you will, his first love.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this was everything.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And even though, yes, he loved me and and you know, it was hard, I think, for him to like put in boxes priorities.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I I just think us having kids has really helped, surprisingly, because he knows like he needs to show up as a father, he needs to show up as a husband.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like he has responsibilities in our marriage outside of just providing through this business.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I the biggest thing and the biggest advice I would give you is like you have to have a lot of grace for your entrepreneur because in order to be successful, they are going to have a grind season.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it would be immature of us and foolish of us not to expect there to be a grind season.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say a grind season, I mean a season where they're like in the thick of it, literally working like 24-7, there's barely any off time, they're working weekends, like they might take off to do a date night, but like they're answering emails in the evening, they're answering calls, like that was just something that I I didn't I I just knew like that came a part of the position that I was entering into.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and if if he wanted the success and he wanted the business to thrive and us to live off of it and me not have to work, I knew that was something that I was going to have to like sacrifice, if you will.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can't have the cake and eat it too.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: So there's not like a cookie cutter perfect world.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we are at a point now to where you know he doesn't work as much.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that was one of the questions we got sent in on Facebook was I'm just gonna kind of skip down to it.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: But the question was as Texas Outlaw grows, is Briston getting busy or is he finding or is he find or is he finding more stuff to keep busy?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, how does that affect you as a wife and a mom?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And to be honest, delegating and hiring employees has helped.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: So he doesn't do everything.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: He has team members who do a lot of stuff, and he still does a lot of stuff, but it's not near as hands-on as it used to be.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Used to be, he was doing everything.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: He was doing all the marketing, all the setup.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: We were actually physically going to races.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: He was starting the races, he was getting the volunteers and ordering the medals and doing everything that it takes to put on a successful event, you know, doing content and posting on social media and doing sending out orders, we'd send out merch orders, we were doing everything.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that was a very stressful time because everything, it was your responsibility and everything was hands-on.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: But now we're in a different position where we delegate that stuff.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's still as stressful.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: We we still are dealing with stressful scenarios, but it's it's different to where he doesn't have to be like at the race.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like we can trust our race directors and they go put on a race, and then we're at home for the weekend.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if like an emergency happens, they call him, and you know, as his wife, I have to be willing to say, okay, there's an event going on this weekend.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: So if an emergency happens and he gets a call from a race director, I as the wife can't be like, Well, you shouldn't answer the call, and no.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: No, I need to have an understanding perspective of like this is our livelihood.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, guys, our as the entrepreneur, like your reputation is on the line.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that you see time and time again.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: The founder and the owner and the entrepreneur, their name is on the line.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so, as the wife, you need to understand that that your name is on the line, whether or not you're the one putting on the race, like Haley or Asher or Braden or Sarah or any of our race directors can go put on a race.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: If something goes wrong, Briston's gonna get the blame for it.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, they messed up, we're gonna fix it, whatever.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: But you think about the iPhone, for instance.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: You have the iPhone.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody thinks about the guy in the warehouse who maybe shipped you the wrong iPhone, or maybe there was a glitch in the engineer putting the thing together.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody thinks about that guy, right?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna blame Steve Jobs because that's the founder and owner, that's the name that they can associate with the business.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's really important when we ask the question of you know, has the business taken priority?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but at the same time, I understand that my husband's reputation is on the line, and I understand that there is a grind season.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I I've heard from Nick Bear, who, you know, founded BPN, and I think Bristen is a lot like Nick Bear.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um he talked about like the first 10 years of that business of BPN, it was straight grind, and now he's in a position, you know, it's I don't know, 15 years.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: He started that business in 20 in 2012, so it's been uh yeah, 15 years, yeah.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so now he's in a position where it's different.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And his job as the owner and the founder is a little different than what it used to be.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I think it depends on the years that you've been in the business and if you have employees or not.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a solo entrepreneur, meaning your husband is the only one doing the task, if he doesn't show up to work, y'all don't get paid or the job's not gonna get done, if you're in that position, I think it's a little different because um you're he's he's the only guy to do the job, and that is stressful.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm personally I'm glad that we're not there anymore because that is a stressful position to be in.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because if he gets a call or if you know something happens, like he's the only person to do it.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think as the wife, you really should have the conversation.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was I was talking with a lady that I know um, and they have a construction business.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they're older, you know, and our age, we can only like do so much physical work until a certain point where we get up to our 60s and 70s and our bodies just aren't like they used to be.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, she was talking about how they're in their 50s and they got to start thinking about retirement and what they're gonna do when he gets to a point to where he can't build houses or he can't, you know, work physically in the job.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think as the wife, that is something that you need to keep in mind is like, okay, this is where we're at right now.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is our present time right now, but you need to help your husband understand that like, where do we want to be in 10 years?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's the goal 20 years down the road, 30 years down the road?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where do you where do you want to be and help them pave that path um to get there?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm gonna be honest, and and guys, this is just my experience.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying like I'm an expert and you should think it this way, and you should like frame your life this way.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what I'm saying.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying this is what has worked for Briston and I, and I would not regret it.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: I would not go back and change it.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is something that we love.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it's something that you are definitely called to, like finding purpose as the helper.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's definitely a calling, and I think it's something that you have to love to be an entrepreneur's wife and to do it successfully.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, this is our life and we love it.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: I do not, maybe this is bad, but I do not separate like the business and his dreams and his aspirations.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I don't separate them because all of Briston's dreams and aspirations revolve around some type of business, to be honest.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like he is an entrepreneur.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that is his personality, that is how he thinks.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: He thinks numbers, revenue, he thinks business ideas, he thinks solving problems, he thinks what's missing in the world, how can we make it more efficient?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: How can we make it better?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is how his mind thinks.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: If he sees something that's not being done or could be done better, he's like, Oh, that's a business idea.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: We could invest in that, we could do that, you know, whatever.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Literally last night we were laying in bed, it was 1 a.m.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And he got a business idea and he starts telling me about it at 1 a.m.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: and we're laying in bed.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, this is our life.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I wouldn't regret it, but I think, you know, ask yourself, okay, and talk to your husband.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, does my husband do his entrepreneur job because that's how he thinks, and like that's who he is, and that's his personality?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it kind of something that he fell into and it's just a job?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And like I I would just separate that, like have that conversation because that's gonna frame how you answer these questions.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because to be honest, you know, did the business take priority over your marriage?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we do this together, like we have fun with this together, and um, this is something, this is like a a project, if you will, or a goal, if you will, that we do together.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, is it taking priority over your marriage?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, sometimes, yeah, but to be honest, this this has honestly like grown our marriage.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, we've had to handle conflict and handle handle things that if we didn't have the business, I don't I don't know if our marriage would be where it is today in terms of growth and wisdom.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: So that was a long-winded answer, but um, what have you personally sacrificed because of the business?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I go back to Ecclesiastes 3 all the time, which talks about seasons, okay?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Ecclesiastes three is big of like there's a time for this, there's a time for this, there's a time for this.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I there's a point where I felt like the Lord wanted me to go full-time in the business.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, guys, I have personal dreams and aspirations.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be a full-time author, I want to be a best-selling author.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: I want to do a lot of stuff with my books.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt like the Lord was like, I want you to lay that stuff down.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to lay down writing, and I want you to go all in for the business.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt like the Lord said, if you go all in for Texas Outlaw, he talking about Briston, talking about my husband, he will go all in for you and your goals.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, okay, so humbly I did it.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to, but I did it.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what I've had to sacrifice.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've had to sacrifice time when I wanted to work on other things, but my husband needed me.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we are called to live a servant help, being a helper, servant life.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't mean that you're never gonna get what you want, you're never gonna get your aspirations.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: I just think it comes down to asking the Lord, like, what am I to do in the season that I'm in?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Am I to help my husband with his business?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Am I to do my own aspirations and goals?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Am I to, you know, what have a different job?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what season am I in?
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: And what are you calling me to do in this season?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's going to help you sacrifice and humble yourself because you're gonna be, as a Christian, you're gonna be like, okay, I'm in line with the Lord's will, rather than just forcing yourself to humble yourself, um, if that makes sense.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think it's important to be in the right season that the Lord wants you in.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, number five, what boundaries have you had to create around work and family?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, this is something that we really started doing when we started having kids, and especially when we bought our house.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I started staying home with our girls.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't see him as much.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, used to we'd go to work together every single day.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just our life.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we'd spend weekends at races.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was just it was our 24-7.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: And now, you know, he goes to work, and we pretty much have like our family time is like in the mornings before he goes to work, um, when he gets home from work in the evenings, and then on weekends.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that that's our family time.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if we take a week off for vacation, so you know, the boundaries are that he leaves or he tries as much as possible to leave the office around five.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: There have been times where he's still at the office until 6 or 6:30, and I'm calling him because I'm jealous because this is my personal time that we're supposed to be spending family time together.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can it not wait until tomorrow?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I think just having that conversation, like, you know, having, you know, asking, hey babe, like, is this an emergency?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Does it have to be done right now?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then, you know, telling him like how it makes you feel.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I literally had to tell him, like, I'm jealous because this is our personal time that we're supposed to be spending together.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I think what helps is I had a job before I started being a stay-at-home mom.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I actually worked full-time for our university that we attended, and he understood, okay, you go to work at eight, you get off at five.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: There were times where I had to work late, and he didn't necessarily like it.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: There were times that I had to go in earlier, work weekends or work events or whatever.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think him having that understanding of that experience of what it's like to be on the other side when your spouse is getting home late or has to go in early or has to work weekends when they're really not like technically supposed to, um, helps him when I come to him and I say, Hey, babe, like I want you to be home at 5:30, you know, because it takes you 30 minutes to drive from the office to home.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want you to be home as soon as possible in the evenings.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: I want weekends to be our time.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, it's kind of like a job where they're on call, where if we have a race, I understand if they call and he needs to take the call or they email and he needs to answer an email.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I just think having those conversations of like, this is what I expect, and this is what you know would make me feel loved, and what I want our marriage to look like in terms of boundaries for personal time versus work time.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, number six, what do you hope your children learn from watching their dad build something?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I loved this question.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: I want our girls to learn hard work, discipline, and in that hard work, consistency, and discipline pay off, especially enduring with the Lord.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like I want them to see our life.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want them to just see the success of the business.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: I want them to see mom and dad were really obedient and stewarded well what God gave them, and God blessed them for it.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: And there were hard times and they had complicated scenarios and they went to prayer or they stewarded their money wisely, or like just showing them to lean on the Lord within every decision that you make.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's like the biggest thing that I want to teach them.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: And owning a business is a great way to do that.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: You teach them how to be a leader that honors God and follows the Lord, how to manage people and how to deal with like hard conversations and and tough times and just all that like gaining wisdom of like mom and dad's hard work paid off, and it and if if they work hard, then they're going to reap a reward for that.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: But also the importance of I want to follow the Lord because I watched my parents follow the Lord, and I I saw the faithfulness of God and I saw their obedience, and I just saw the good fruits of it.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's the biggest thing.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: How they changed lives, how they use the business for God's glory.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's the biggest thing that I want them to learn from watching Briston build this.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um I also want to teach them that anything is possible.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: I want I want them to dream big, and I want to teach them that because I think so often people just we just make small goals um because of disappointment or past hurt, or maybe we just don't believe that we can do it.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but I I want to teach them like if you have a big dream, like if you want to be on dancing with the stars, or if you want to, I don't know, just run for president one day, or like whatever your dream is, like I want to teach them like anything is possible, and if you work hard and if it's the Lord's will, like you can do it, um, and show them like this is how you do it.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna get a drink real fast.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: How has entrepreneurship this is a good question, okay?
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: How has entrepreneurship changed your relationship with money?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Woo, y'all.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: So my relationship with money I would say started um in high school when I Took a Dave Ramsey class, and that was like the seed being planted for stewarding my finances wisely.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: I at this point watched my parents struggle financially.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: They just didn't, we were middle class, but they just like didn't spend their money the best.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so we weren't like thriving when it came to building wealth and just living a comfortable, financially free life.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: It was more so like living paycheck to paycheck.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if an emergency happened, like how are we gonna handle it?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: All this stuff.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't want that for my future.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so that Dave Ramsey course like really sparked that.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then in college, I just took I took personal finance my senior year of college.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: So that was like another um launch into stewarding your finances wisely.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then I the Lord led me to like develop a financial literacy program for the university, and that really like that put me deep into like I need to know what I'm talking about.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: I did a lot of research about personal finance.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then Briston and I got married.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would say like all of those small occurrences are really what led to like how we make financial decisions now.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And what is really cool is like Briston is heavily knowledgeable on like the investing side of money, whereas I'm I feel like I'm more heavily knowledgeable on like no debt and saving and things like that.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so we do complement one another really well.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: But entrepreneurship changed my relationship with money because number one, we have employees that we are like responsible for paying for.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so when it comes to spending money or deciding like how we're gonna use the business or what we're gonna pay ourselves or where our lifestyle is gonna be, um, we always think beyond just ourselves.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, if something happens to the economy, it's like, how are we gonna still maintain a thriving business?
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because we do not want to tank, whereas a lot of businesses are living paycheck to paycheck and we didn't want to repeat that cycle.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so just like stewardship for our employees is how entrepreneurship changes money.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then also, guys, I will say on the philanthropy side, entrepreneurship is a beautiful way to like give money to the Lord.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: And we have like helped a bunch of different causes, charities, ministries, um, people just through the generosity, like how much profit we get through Texas Outlaw, we've been able to give a lot to you know, organizations and causes and things that we value and support and we believe in.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I will say the knowledge of personal finance that I learned before marrying Bristen helps with giving because we don't have that, we we barely have any debt, so we limited our debt.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: We are very big into investing and saving.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so this allows us to be able to have the freedom to give when someone comes to us and says, Hey, like God's calling me to do this.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you want to sew into it?
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, Yeah, we want to do that, or you know, just like different scenarios like that.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: So entrepreneurship has opened my eyes.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Also, I would say this entrepreneurship has opened my eyes to just like politics, like lobbying, like lobbyists, like capitalism.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's just like I feel like I'm learning um, just you know, the difference between capitalism versus socialism, why employees would want socialism, like why they're leaning towards that, why business owners prefer capitalism, how the government, you know, is in the middle of all that, just a bunch of different stuff.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I so entrepreneurship has really um opened my eyes to a lot of that revolving around money.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: What do people misunderstand about the lifestyle that comes with a successful business?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a really good question.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think the biggest thing people misunderstand, and I actually listened to Nick Bear's podcast this morning, and he talked about like what he did in his 20s um to make such a successful business that he has now.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: So many people like want the results.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: They they want the successful business, they want the strong, skinny, fit body, they want to be able to run a marathon, they X, Y, Z, right?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like fill in the blank.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: They want to write a book and be a best-selling author.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't think a lot of us actually are willing to endure through what it requires to reach that goal.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the biggest misunderstanding is people see on social media like Outlast Booming, and you know, we just hit a new milestone in the business, and we're hiring new employees, and we just got a new office, and they're seeing all of these highlights, they're not seeing the stress of the weight of what comes with carrying a successful business.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're not seeing the hate comments that we get on social media, they're not seeing, you know, when mistakes happen and how we pivot and you know, fix those, or I don't know, they're just not seeing the full picture of it, which I feel like is a generic, simple answer.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: But um, the lifestyle of being an entrepreneur and owning a business is day in, day out.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like he does not have a boss, so it can be very tempting to slack off.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you are not a driven person who can motivate yourself, you will never be a successful entrepreneur.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: You might have clients up to a certain point and survive and barely get by, but I don't think you're going to grow a successful business.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: A successful business owner, a successful entrepreneur, whether that's a nonprofit or a for-profit business, you have to day in and day out give a hundred percent go all in.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean that you don't rest, like you still rest and you still have seasons of rest, and we're learning that.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: But guys, like Briston does what he says he's gonna do, and he does the boring tasks, those the legal tasks that you have to do to run a business.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like he he does the things that nobody wants to do, and because he does them, he is then successful.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, there was a Navy SEAL guy, and he said in a graduation speech, he said, make your bed, like get up and make your bed.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the biggest thing I'm gonna say is we are very strict when it comes to our routines and it comes to our boundaries, and it comes to our lifestyle, and it comes to our consistency and our discipline.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like we, those are priorities to us.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're sitting here and you're like, oh, I want to start a business, oh, I think my husband wants to start a business, before you ever start that business, the lifestyle of being a business owner is this.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: I wake up, I do it when I don't want to do it, I do it because I'm not looking at my present current feelings, I'm looking at what my long-term vision is.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking at the end result of what I want.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I stick to a plan, I'm consistent, I'm disciplined.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like the the these are things that have led us to success.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm wise in my decisions, in my financial decisions, in how I run things.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I would look at your life.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: I would look at the fruits of your habits.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Habits are are a big part of being a successful entrepreneur.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: I would look at your habits.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and habits point to mindsets.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I would look at your habits.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: I would look at what's my routine like?
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do I even have a routine?
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do I have am I disciplined?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do I follow through with something that I said I was gonna do?
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: If I said I was gonna lose 20 pounds, do I do it for a month and then it really didn't work?
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I give up and I don't do it anymore.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, what about a workout plan?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: I said I was gonna train for this race, or I said I was gonna run a 5K, do I stick to that?
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, eating healthy.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's like a whole list of stuff.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: Look at your life.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, look at your house.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is your house in order?
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be perfectly clean 24-7, but do I get up and make my bed?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Do I clean up my room?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do I clean up after myself?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: Do I these are gonna point to whether or not you can run a business or not?
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so talking about misunderstanding of the lifestyle, if you think this is the life that you want, I would first look at those parts of your life and then re-evaluate if you can handle the lifestyle or not, because odds are if your habits of your life don't match like what I said, consistency, discipline, and drive.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: If they if they don't match those things, you're like you can't do it.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna you're gonna burn out, you're gonna quit.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not gonna happen.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: So that's my encouragement.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever struggled with feeling like you're just the entrepreneur's wife?
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think that's ever gonna go away.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um I am very much an achieving person, like I naturally want to achieve things, and I feel like I'm a naturally ambitious person, so I can tend to default to my identity is what I do, not who I am.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: So if I'm just an entrepreneur's wife, I feel less valuable because I'm not achieving this big successful thing that's my own.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like in our world today, like we individualize so much stuff.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm doing this, oh, I'm doing this, oh, I'm doing this.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're all doing our own things.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, back in the day, like they had family farms or family compounds or family businesses.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: This wasn't like me, me, me, me, me, I'm doing my own thing.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, this was like we're doing it together.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I constantly have to keep that in mind of like I play an important part in this too.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: And what has helped is I look up to other entrepreneur wives that I admire.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like I look up to Stephanie Baer, who's Nick Baer's wife.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: She's raising little kids right now.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she's kind of hit living a hidden life, whereas he's very public about his lifestyle and things like that.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: I she inspires me because she's not over here trying to be like her husband.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: She's staying in her line, doing her own thing.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas I feel like for the longest time, I felt like, if you will, I was trying to compete with, oh, well, my husband's being successful in this business.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that means I gotta do something.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like I gotta start a business, I gotta be an entrepreneur, I gotta do this.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: No, like again, going back to seasons, what has God called you to do in the season that you're in?
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: I also look at Lisa Bevere.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: Lisa and John Bevere are very successful.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: They both have their own platforms, they're both very successful people in their own individual ways.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: But if you read their story, how they started out is John was the entrepreneur and she was staying home raising their four boys.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a season where that was her job, and she was just the pastor's wife or just the entrepreneur's wife.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, once their boys hit a certain age, she was able to step into her own platform.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's inspiring for me.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I think when you get discouraged of like, oh, I'm just a stay-at-home mom, I'm just an entrepreneur's wife, I'm just this.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think to help with that, number one, you need to go to the Lord and you need to remind yourself through scripture who you are, which is not based on what you do.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, I think you need to find other women, whether that's physically in your community locally, or online.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, we have technology, online where you can find women who are in similar scenarios as you who inspire you and are like, yes, if they're doing it, I can do this.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because both women that I named are on a completely different scale.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like Nick Beer has a million subscribers on YouTube.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: Lisa and John travel all they're known worldwide, all over the world.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're not there yet.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so if they can do it, I'm like, you can do this, Carly.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, let's see.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: We got a couple more.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I already answered that.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: All right, how do you discern whether you're supposed to say yes or no to opportunities?
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: So Bristol and I are very adamant about he comes to me like if an opportunity pops up, or like if a big decision is being made that is going to affect the business, we talk about it together.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: He will ask me, he he, it's so cool, guys, because he knows he's like, I know my wife hears from the Lord.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not to say that everything I say is just the Lord, right?
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thus says the Lord, but there's been confirmation of like my words can be trusted.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and he goes to prayer too.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: So he, when we are trying to make decisions, what we'll do is we'll talk about it.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have the practical side of it, of like, okay, practically, how's this gonna affect us?
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: But then you also have the human side, where is what are my fears with this decision?
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: What are the pros and cons?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what am I seeing that's good about this decision?
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: And what am I seeing that kind of makes me a little bit nervous and a little bit anxious about this decision?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then we go to prayer and we say, Okay, Lord, but what do you say?
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want us to do?
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a really cool scenario is hiring.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hiring, he always asks me.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: We always talk about the person when they're in the hiring process.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: He always asks me what I think.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, guys, I think as the wife, it's really important to remember that when your husband asks you a question that's affecting a lot of people, your response shouldn't be what you think.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think we should have a humble heart that says, I'm going to respond and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and I'm gonna respond with how I think the Lord wants him to go about this.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if I don't know, then I'm gonna say, I don't know, but maybe this is my opinion.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm always gonna clarify what I feel like the Lord wants to say to him versus what I want to say to him and what's my opinion.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, we have this example of we sit down, usually we're driving in the car, and Briston says, Okay, let's pray about it and let's see what the Lord hears right now.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so we'll pray about it, and then if we hear something, we'll tell one another, and then that's usually how we make a decision.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's important.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what would you tell another entrepreneur's wife who feels like she's constantly being stretched?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: I would tell you number one to hold on.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if your husband is, I I know a girl who goes to our church, her husband's an entrepreneur.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: He just got like a ton in the field that he's in, he got a ton more clients.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, he's posted about having to work weekends and like missing kids' events.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: And we went to, I think it was a birthday party, and you know, his wife and kids went, but he was mowing, well, I gave it away, he was mowing lawns, and you know, his wife was like, Oh, he'll be here later.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: He's doing, you know, his work and stuff.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, let's see.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: What I would tell another entrepreneur's wife who feels being stretched is this is only a season, hang in there.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_00: You should talk about, you know, where he's currently at and where you want to be by the end of the year or in a year or five years or whatever.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I think just being honest, and it's okay.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like those times that I felt stressed or discouraged or unseen, you know, those were opportunities for me to fall back on the Lord.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so funny because like anytime I am struggling with something, when I pray, like when I pray to the Lord about whatever it is, so some reason when I pray, then it it works out.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's like then the right answer comes, or like then I'm not fretting over it anymore.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I would just tell you to hang in there and this too shall pass, and um, that you're gonna be okay, and you need to surround yourself with voices that inspire and uplift you, not voices that talk bad about your husband because of how much he works, or he's if he's in the grinding season, like you you need voices of encouragement.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay, let's see what has entrepreneurship revealed about your husband that you didn't know before.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: So before we got married, um, we were dating, he was still working on the business, but it was like this such this small thing.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like entrepreneurship has revealed just how uh matter-of-fact my husband is.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like when he said he's gonna say what he thinks and he's not gonna like sugarcoat it.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: And like when we were dating, he was just so not like that.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like he was straightforward and told me how you know he felt and all the stuff, but I just feel like he was not so matter-of-fact like he is now.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um would you choose this life again?
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: Why or why not?
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I I would choose it.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: I I would choose it.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but guys, it's it's so worth it.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_00: Anything hard, you know.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think we should ask the Lord for an easy life.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think we should ask the Lord for wisdom and perseverance and endurance um as we go through this life.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna make us better people, and that's it's gonna make it more fun.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: So the last question that I'm going to say is ask is if another woman is watching this who just married an entrepreneur or whose husband is talking about starting a business, what do you wish someone had told you before you started this journey?
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um the biggest thing that I will say is that I wish I would have, or someone would have told me, like, you stepping in as the entrepreneur's wife is more important than you think.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I said earlier, like when I married Briston, I also married Texas Outlaw, and there's so much truth to that statement.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: I I wish someone would have told me, like, this is going to affect you and your entire life.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is going to affect how people see you and who you are, and just it's just going to affect you.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so, um, I say that in a good way of like, this is your life, like this is what your whole life makes up of.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_00: But it's good, it's rich, it's inspiring, and I wouldn't, I guess, I wouldn't trade it.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I I genuinely love this life.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you enjoyed this episode about what it's like to be an entrepreneur's wife.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you have any more questions, please comment those below.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to try to do QA once a month.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have any more questions, these spark some questions, just comment them below.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be looking at the comments for the next QA that we do.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I will see you guys on the next episode.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, before I leave, I just want to say our cover reveal for um the children's book Running with Faith is November 1st.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: But next week I actually get to see the finished cover before anybody else.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm so excited to see what it looks like.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't wait to show you guys.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: I will probably show y'all on here so you'll get exclusive content for that.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I hope you have a great day, and I will see y'all on the next episode.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: Comment what you think, what stood out, what spoke to you if you have any more questions.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: Love you guys.