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Sins of the Heart: Envy/Jealousy · Reformed Thinking

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Reformed thinking welcome. Today we're doing a deep dive
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into, well, one of the trickiest sins, I think.
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One that often hides in plain sight.
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That's right, we're talking about envy.
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Envy. It's one of those things we
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often brush off, don't we? Like, oh, I'm just a bit
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disappointed. Or maybe even try to spin it as
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healthy competition. Yeah, we give it respectable
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masks, but the goal today is to pull those masks off.
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Really, we want to use Scripture and our reformed confessions to
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see envy for what it is. Which is.
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Well, the sources are pretty clear.
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It's a kind of rebellion against God's Providence, theological
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treason, you could say. OK.
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Treason. That's strong language.
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It is but necessary, I think, to grasp the seriousness.
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And crucially, we also want to get to the cure, the gospel cure
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found in Christ. Right, so let's start with that
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diagnosis, calling it by its name.
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Not just sadness like you said, but rebellion.
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Exactly, it often feels private doesn't it?
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Like it only hurts the person feeling it, an internal thing.
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A mood. A bad mood.
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But the Bible, particularly when it uses the Greek term phonos,
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it paints a much darker picture. There's a core definition we
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really need to get hold. Of OK, what is that definition?
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Phonos envy is it's grief at another person's good.
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Grief. OK.
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Coupled with a desire and this could be hidden or out in the
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open, that they're good would actually be diminished.
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So it's not just wow, I wish I had their success or I wish I
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had that opportunity. No, it goes further.
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It's that not in your stomach, that resentment that they have
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it, It's actually wishing they didn't have it or had less of
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it. That's the subtraction minded
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part you mentioned. Precisely it wants to subtract
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from the neighbors well-being, maybe even pull them down a peg
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just to make you feel better or less bad.
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That's. Yeah, that's ugly when you put
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it like that. It is, and the wisdom
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literature, Proverbs especially, gives us this incredibly
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visceral image for it. Proverbs 14.3 says envy makes
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the bones rot. Rotting bones.
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That's wow. It speaks to something happening
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deep inside, doesn't it? Not just a surface action.
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Absolutely. It's an internal corrosion.
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It hollows you out from the inside, draining your joy,
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killing gratitude. It makes your whole inner life
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kind of unsound. Creates that factory of
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comparison we talked about before we started just churning
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out restless thoughts, this constant feeling of lack.
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Yeah, and it even poisons your prayers, doesn't it?
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You stop thanking God and start well, keeping score against your
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neighbor. OK.
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So if we take this bone rot image and bring it before the
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law, how does that connect? What's the reform diagnosis
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here? Well, it connects directly to
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the moral law, specifically the 10th Commandment.
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You shall not covet. Right.
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Exodus 20.17 forbids coveting your neighbor's house, spouse,
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servants, animals, anything that is your neighbors and our
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confections. Unpack this to include
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forbidding, envying, or grieving at the good of our neighbor.
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So envy is a specific nasty kind of covetousness.
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It's not just wanting something you don't have.
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It's wanting it and resenting that they have it.
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It's directed against the neighbor in a malicious way, and
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this is where it gets really serious theologically.
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Go on, what's the theological crime aspect?
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Why treason? Because it's fundamentally A
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quarrel with God, a quarrel with the divine apportioner, as some
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sources put it. The one who gives out the gifts,
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the blessings, the circumstances.
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Yes, God in his wisdom and goodness sovereignly distributes
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gifts, opportunities, challenges Providence, right Envy looks at
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God's distribution and says implicitly or explicitly, you
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got it wrong. You were too generous to them
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and not generous enough to me. Exactly.
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I would have distributed things differently, better.
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It calls God's wisdom and fairness into question.
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So that's why you called it practical atheism of the
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affections. Yeah, because in that moment in
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your heart, you're acting as if God isn't good, or isn't wise or
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isn't really in control. You're denying His character
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right where it counts and how you feel about His dealings with
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you and others. Wow.
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OK, that really elevates the seriousness beyond just feeling
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a bit down about someone else's promotion.
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It has to, yeah. And if we need more proof of how
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serious this is, look no further than the cross.
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Right. You mentioned this earlier, the
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cross as the ultimate exposure of envy.
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Think about it, Why was Jesus handed over to be crucified?
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The Gospels are surprisingly blunt about the motive of the
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religious leaders. Matthew 27.18 Mark 15.10 Pilot
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knew they handed him over out of envy.
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He knew it wasn't just political maneuvering, though that was
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involved. At the root, it was envy.
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They saw Jesus's popularity, his authority, the way people were
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drawn to him, and his teaching. His goodness, His grace, yes.
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And they couldn't stand it. Their status felt threatened,
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their control felt threatened. So this resentment, this thonos
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festered until it reached its absolute peak.
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The peak being the desire to eliminate the source of their
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envy. To crucify love itself.
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To crucify grace Incarnate. The cross is history's ultimate
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verdict on just how destructive envy can be when it's allowed to
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run its course. It's malice against grace.
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That's a chilling thought. It is, and Jesus himself
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illustrated this dynamic, didn't he?
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In the parable of the workers in the vineyard, Ah.
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Yes, Matthew 20. The ones who worked all day get
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paid the same as the ones who worked only an hour.
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And the first group grumbles. Now why do they grumble?
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Not because they were cheated. They got exactly what they
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agreed to. They grumbled because the others
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got the same, because the Master was generous to people they felt
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didn't deserve it as much as they did.
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Precisely. And the Masters question to them
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cuts right to the heart of envy. Is your eye evil because I am
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good? Yeah, your, your perspective,
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your attitude is twisted, is evil simply because I decided to
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be generous. It exposes envy as this
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fundamental refusal to rest in God's goodness, especially when
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that goodness is shown to someone else.
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It makes God's generosity feel like a personal affront.
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Which, when you think about it, is what happened with the
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leaders and Jesus. His goodness felt like an attack
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on them. And their response was to try
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and stamp it out. So the cross isn't just an
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example of Envy's effects, it's the ultimate display of his
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potential for malice. It's not some minor vice.
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OK, so that's the diagnosis. Severe rotting bones, Treason,
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malice against grace, leading even to the cross.
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Let's move into Part 2 then. The consequences, The bitter
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yield of this sin. It doesn't just stay inside,
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does it? Not at all.
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That internal bone rod inevitably spreads outward, but
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let's start with the internal damage first.
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The factory of comparison you mentioned, yeah.
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Envy fuels this constant restless comparison.
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It generates endless what ifs and if onlys.
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It leads to joyless prayers because, like we said, you're
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basically keeping score with God instead of resting in his care.
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And that chronic sense of lack, even if you have a lot envy,
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tells you it's not enough because someone else seems to
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have more, or something different.
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Right. Gratitude dies, Thanksgiving
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becomes Cali keeping, and your whole inner climate shifts to
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resentment, suspicion, maybe even self pity.
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Which sounds exhausting and spiritually weakening, like a
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constant state of spiritual anemia.
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It is weakening and it makes you hard to console because the very
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thing that should bring comfort, God's goodness, His sovereignty,
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is the thing you're envious heart is fighting against.
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And the end result can be isolation, right?
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Like the elder brother and the prodigal son story.
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That's the perfect picture, isn't it?
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Luke 15. The party's going on inside,
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celebrating the return of the lost son, celebrating grace.
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And where's the older brother? Sulking outside, angry,
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resentful. Why?
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Because the father was generous to his undeserving brother.
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He's so consumed by envy and self-righteous comparison that
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he chooses isolation over joining the feast.
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He exiles himself from joy. He'd rather nurse his grievance
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than share in the Father's delight.
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That's a powerful warning. It really is.
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And that bitterness doesn't stay politely outside the door.
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It barges into our relationships, our communities,
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our churches. How does it fracture things
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outwardly? Well, the New Testament links
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envy and jealousy directly to conflict.
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Paul writes in First Timothy 6 that envy leads to strife,
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dissension, slander, evil, suspicions.
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Basically all the ways we tear each other down.
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Exactly, If you're envious of someone, you're far more likely
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to speak I'll of them, to suspect their motives, to pick
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fights, to cause division. Peace is impossible where envy
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reigns. And James is even stronger,
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isn't he? He is James 3 warns that where
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you find bitter jealousy and selfish ambition, you will also
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find disorder and every vile practice.
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Disorder and every vile practice that's comprehensive.
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It suggests that envy is like a gateway sin.
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It opens the door to all sorts of other dysfunction and
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nastiness in communities, workplaces, even churches.
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It creates chaos. We see it in families too,
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sadly. Siblings competing endlessly,
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maybe spouses keeping score. Oh absolutely.
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It poisons intimacy, and in the church it's devastating.
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Paul talks about party spirit in First Corinthians 3.
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People aligning with different leaders out of rivalry.
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Competing factions instead of a unified body.
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And even mentioned some people preaching the gospel itself from
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envy and rivalry in Philippians. One imagine that using the good
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news as a weapon in your personal status competition.
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Instead of the ideal in First Corinthians 12, where if one
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member is honored, everyone rejoices together.
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Envy creates the opposite a celebration deficit.
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We struggle to celebrate God's work and others because it
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somehow feels like it diminishes us.
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That kills fellowship. And historically, this goes way
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back. The first murder.
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Cain and Abel Genesis 4 Why did Cain kill Abel?
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Because God accepted Abel's offering and not Cain's pure
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envy leading to violence. And King Ahab and Naboth's
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vineyard. First Kings 21 Ahab sulks
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because he can't have Naboth's land.
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That covetous grief fueled by Jezebel turns into false
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accusation and murder. Envy wasn't content until it
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possessed or destroyed. And culturally, Ecclesiastes 4.4
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makes that connection between envy and work.
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Yeah, the preacher observes that all toil and all skill and work
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come from a man's envy of his neighbor.
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Meaning a lot of what drives ambition and achievement isn't
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necessarily good stewardship or creativity, but just trying to
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keep up with or surpass the person next to us.
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It's that treadmill of achievement driven by
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comparison. You work yourself to the bone,
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not for joy or service, but just so you don't fall behind, or so
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you can finally show them it's futile.
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It never brings rest. So the yield is bitter indeed.
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Internal rot, external fracture, historical violence, futile
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striving. It's a destructive force.
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No doubt about it. Okay, but now we need to make a
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really important distinction because the Bible uses words
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like jealousy and zeal in ways that can be confusing.
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Not all zeal is bad, right? God himself is called jealous.
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That's crucial. We have to get the term
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straight, the Greek word. We've been focusing on Thanos,
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the subtraction minded grief. That's always sinful, no
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question. Phonos bad.
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Right. But then there's another
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keyword. Velos.
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This one is trickier. It can mean sinful jealousy,
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rivalry, the kind James warns about.
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But it can also mean something positive.
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Holy zeal. Exactly.
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Zealous is ambivalent. It depends entirely on the
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object and the motive. So what defines holy zealous
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when God is jealous? What does that mean?
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Holy zeal, or godly jealousy, is fundamentally about protecting a
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covenant relationship or upholding God's honor.
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It's a covenantal ardor, you could say.
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Like a husband's righteous anger if his wife was being
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unfaithful. Precisely.
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God's jealousy in the Old Testament is his passionate
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commitment to his covenant people, his refusal to share
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their devotion with idols. It's aimed entirely at his
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glory, his worship, his people's purity.
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It's never about his own insecurity or status.
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OK, that makes sense theologically, but how do we
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tell the difference in our own hearts?
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Because sinful zealot, sinful jealousy can easily disguise
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itself, can't it? Oh.
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Absolutely. It loves to wear pious masks.
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I'm just concerned about doctrinal purity.
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Or I'm just standing up for what's right when really
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underneath you're just mad that someone else has the platform
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you want. So we need some tests, some ways
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to diagnose our own zeal. We do.
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Our sources give us at least three good diagnostic tests.
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First, object and motive. What is the zeal aimed at?
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Is it fundamentally about protecting my status, my
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influence, my ministry's success?
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Is it competitive? That's likely sinful zealos.
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Or is it genuinely aimed at God's glory being obscured, His
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name being dishonored, his truth being compromised?
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Regardless of how it affects me personally, that's closer to
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holy zealos. The example you used earlier,
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Christ cleansing the temple, his motive was zeal for your house
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will consume me. It wasn't about building his
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brand. Contrast that with King Soul's
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Fury when the women saying Saul has slain his thousands and
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David is 10 thousands. That was pure status anxiety,
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sinful jealousy. OK, test one object and motive.
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What's test 2? Test 2 Norm and manner How does
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zeal operate? Holy zeal is always according to
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knowledge, meaning it's governed by God's Word.
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It plays by God's rules. Yes, and it reflects the wisdom
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James describes. Pure, peaceable, gentle, open to
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reason even when confronting sin.
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It aims for restoration, not just destruction.
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It operates with patience and hopefully kindness.
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So if someone claims to be zealous, but they're constantly
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abrasive, slanderous, causing division, refusing to listen,
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that fails the test. It certainly raises red flags.
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Sinful jealousy often makes up its own rules, is quick,
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temperate, thin skin, and rushes towards tearing down the
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perceived rival rather than building up the truth and love.
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Makes sense Norm and manner. What's the third test?
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This one might be the toughest. It's the counterfactual test, or
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what we could call the pulse of zeal.
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OK, what's the pulse? The pulse is measured by your
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readiness, your genuine readiness to celebrate when God
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advances His cause through someone else, even someone you
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don't particularly like or someone you think is less
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qualified than you. Ouch, that gets personal.
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Doesn't it? Can you truly rejoice if their
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ministry succeeds, if they get the recognition, as long as
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God's Kingdom is genuinely being furthered?
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The model here has to be John the Baptist, right?
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Absolutely. His disciples come to him
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worried. Rabbi, that man who was with you
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across the Jordan, everyone is going to him.
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They're basically saying he's stealing your followers.
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Comparison and potential envy right there.
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But John's response is incredible.
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He says actually, a person can only receive what has given them
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from heaven. He must increase, but I must
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decrease. Wow.
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No defensiveness, no rivalry, just acceptance of God's plan
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and joy in Christ's rising influence.
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That's the pulse of holy zeal. It cares more about the King's
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increase in glory than about who gets to carry the banner.
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If you can pass that test, your zeal is likely in a healthy
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place. If not, sinful jealousy might be
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lurking. Increase.
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Decrease. That's a challenging standard.
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These distinctions are vital. Finos is always bad.
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Zealous can be holy or sinful, and we need these tests to
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discern correct. Which brings us, thankfully, to
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Part 4. The cure.
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If envy is this deep seated bone rot, this quarrel with God
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rooted in status, hunger and a sense of scarcity, the cure has
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to be profound too. It has to go just as deep, and
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the Reformed understanding grounds the cure entirely in the
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person and work of Christ, starting with the great
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indicatives of the gospel, what God has already done for us.
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Before we even get to what we must do.
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Yes, the foundation is Christ himself.
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He modeled the opposite of envy, and he grasps, resents,
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subtracts. Christ surrendered, gave, became
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poor. Paul put it powerfully in 2nd
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Corinthians 8.9. For you know the grace of our
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Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake
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he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.
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His self giving answers are self grasping.
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It does, but how does that transport into doctrinal cure?
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First, justification. OK, how does justification by
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faith alone attack envy? Envy is constantly asking, am I
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good enough? Is my status secure?
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It lives in the courtroom of comparison.
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Justification slams the gavel down on that courtroom because
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our standing, our verdict, our righteousness is declared
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settled outside of us, based entirely on Christ's perfect
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righteousness imputed to us. The judge himself declares
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peace. My worth isn't based on my
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performance, my gifts, my recognition compared to others.
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It's based on Christ finished work.
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So if the ultimate verdict is already in righteous in Christ,
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then my neighbor success literally cannot change my
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standing before God. It loses its threat.
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Precisely. The ground for comparison is cut
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out from under it. Legally speaking, that's the
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foundation. Then comes adoption.
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How does adoption help? It addresses what you call the
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sibling rivalry of the soul. Envy often feels like scrabbling
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among siblings for limited parental favor or resources.
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Right, the scarcity mindset again.
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Adoption demolishes that. Through Christ we are brought
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into God's family sharing one father and one first born
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brother, Jesus himself. Romans 8.15 to 17 is key here.
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We're Co heirs with Christ. Not competitive, but coheirs
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sharing the inheritance. And the Father's love isn't a
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limited resource he has to divide up.
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It's infinite. His blessing on my brother or
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sister in Christ doesn't diminish his love for me.
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It actually displays the goodness of our Father, which
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should be a cause for shared family joy it.
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Reframes the neighbor's blessing as a family blessing.
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Exactly. And flowing from that is union
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with Christ. This might be the deepest blow
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to Envy's logic. Why Union?
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Because envy thrives on that economy of scarcity.
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The idea that if you gain I lose union with Christ flicks that
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entirely, because in union with Him, the believer already
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possesses every spiritual blessing in Christ.
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Ephesians 1.3 We are filled in Him.
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Colossians 2.10 We are connected to the infinite source, The
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Fountainhead of all grace and goodness.
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So if I'm connected to the ocean, it doesn't matter if my
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neighbor gets a cup of water or even a whole tanker truck full,
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right? Because you have the ocean, your
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supply isn't threatened by their portion.
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When your heart has Christ the fountain, another person's gift,
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another person's success, doesn't diminish your standing
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or your resources one bit. You are complete in Him.
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That abundance dismantles the scarcity mindset that fuels
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envy. Justification settles status.
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Adoption removes rivalry. Union provides abundance.
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That's a powerful foundation. It's the only foundation strong
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enough to cure something as deep as envy.
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That's the indicative what? I asked.
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True of us in Christ. But we still struggle, so the
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cure must also be progressive right through sanctification.
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Yes, the Holy Spirit applies these truths to our lives.
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This involves what the old writers called mortification and
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vivication, putting sin to death and bringing godly virtues to
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life. Let's start with mortification,
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killing the root. How do we actively kill envy?
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It starts with brutal honesty, specific repentance and
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confession. Envy loves vague apologies.
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Lord forgive me for being discontent.
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Not not specific enough. The source has really pressed
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this. You need to name the sin, name
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the person you resent, and name the Providence you're quarreling
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with. So, Lord, forgive me for being
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envious of Sarah's new house. Forgive me for questioning your
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goodness and giving it to her and not to me.
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That specific. Yes, agree with God about how
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ugly it is. Bone rot.
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Remember, Refuse the excuses, the euphemisms.
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Call it envy. Confess the malice and flee to
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Christ for pardon and cleansing. You have to drag it into the
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light. OK.
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Naming it, confessing it specifically?
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That's mortification. What about vivification?
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Bringing the opposite virtues to life.
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This is about cultivating of the contrary graces, primarily
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contentment. The direct antidote to
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comparison. Exactly.
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And Paul says in Philippians 4, contentment is learned.
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It's not passive. It's an active discipline of
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faith. How do we learn it?
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By actively choosing to feed on Christ and trust God's specific
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appointments for your life, resting in His wisdom for your
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portion, your path. It's a daily battle.
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But as contentment grows, comparison Withers.
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Contentment kills comparison. And part of learning contentment
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involves. Rehearsing Providence.
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Yes, instead of counting your neighbor's blessings, you
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consciously, intentionally practice counting God's mercies
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to you. Ask yourself, like Paul prompts
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the First Corinthians 4.7, what do you have that you did not
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receive? That's humbling.
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Everything is a gift. It fosters gratitude.
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It shifts your focus from what they have that you don't to the
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immense grace you've already received.
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Convert tally keeping into Thanksgiving.
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OK, so the Spirit works through confession, cultivating
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contentment, and rehearsing God's specific goodness to us.
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That's the internal work. Now, part 5.
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How does this translate into practical outward actions?
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Acts of contrary obedience. Right, because love, as First
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Corinthians 13 says, does not envy.
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So we fight envy by acting in love, even when our feelings lag
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behind. What does that look like
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specifically? If there's someone whose success
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grates on you, whose blessings spark envy in your heart, Romans
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12.10 says to outdo one another in showing honor.
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So you intentionally practice honoring that person.
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Find genuine things to affirm. Speak well of them, even when
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it's hard. Yes, and even harder.
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Pray for their flourishing. Matthew 5.44 isn't just about
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enemies. It applies here to actively ask
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God to bless the person you envy, to give them more success,
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more joy. That feels counterintuitive, but
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it directly attacks the subtraction mindedness, doesn't
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it? It does.
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It forces your heart to align with God's potential desire for
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their good. And of course, Romans 12.15,
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rejoice with those who rejoice. Practice celebrating their wins
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publicly and privately. Even if it feels forced at
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first. Especially if it feels forced.
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Obedience often precedes feeling.
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And there's another practical tool suggested secret
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generosity. Giving to the person you envy
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secretly, yes. Why?
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Because it completely breaks the internal calculus of comparison
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and rivalry. You're actively investing in
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their well-being with 0 expectation of personal gain,
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recognition, or return. It's pure grace, the opposite of
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envious subtraction. It could actually start to
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sweeten your feelings toward them.
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Wow. Honor, prayer for blessing,
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rejoicing, secret, generosity. Those are concrete.
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Actions. There are tools the Spirit uses,
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and he also uses the ordinary means of grace.
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Word, Sacraments. Prayer.
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Absolutely. Think of Asaph in Psalm 73.
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He was consumed with envy for the prosperity of the wicked.
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What changed his perspective? Until I went into the sanctuary
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of God. Then I discerned their end.
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Exactly. Worship reoriented him, seeing
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God's perspective, remembering ultimate realities,
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rediscovering God himself as his true portion.
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That cured his envy. The word preached in Sung does
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that. And the Lord's Table.
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Think about it, we all come as equals, as beggars needing
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grace. We receive the same Christ, the
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same forgiveness, the same promise.
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It's a communal meal of non rivalry reminding us we share 1
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Lord, 1. Faith, 1 Hope.
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It trains us out of comparison. That makes sense using all the
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means God gives us. But we have to address 1 more
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thing The modern world, especially the digital age.
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It feels like it's designed to fuel envy.
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It often is. You called it being catechized
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into any and that feels right. Social media platforms
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especially, are comparison machines.
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The curated feeds, the highlight reels, the metrics.
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Likes, followers, shares. It all becomes this public
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scorecard of worth and success. It constantly presents you with
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an edited, idealized version of your neighbor's good, making
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your own life feel lacking. It pours fuel on the fire of the
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evil eye. So we need intentional
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strategies here, a digital rule of life.
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I think so. Proverbs 4.23 says keep your
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heart with all vigilance for a From it flow the springs of
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life. We have to guard our hearts by
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guarding our inputs. What might that look like?
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Maybe setting strict limits on how often you check metrics or
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scroll through feeds that trigger comparison?
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Maybe taking regular sabbaths from social media altogether?
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And consciously replacing those inputs.
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Yes, fill that time and mental space with what Philippians 4.8
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commands. Whatever is true, honorable,
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just, pure, lovely, commendable. Read good books, listen to
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edifying teachings, spend time in nature, invest in real life
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relationships. Actively feed the contented
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spirit, not the comparing 1 and. Ultimately, we need Christ's own
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command to Peter ringing in our ears, don't we?
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The Perfect corrective John 21 Peter, right after being
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restored, looks over at John and asks, Jesus Lord, what about
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this man? Comparison creeping in again,
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even in that sacred moment. And Jesus response is so direct.
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What is that to you? You follow me.
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Focus on your own race, your own calling, your own obedience to
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me. Stop looking sideways.
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That has to be our daily redirection.
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My assignment comes from Christ. My sufficiency is in Christ what
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He gives my neighbor and how He uses them.
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If his business, my business is to follow Him faithfully with
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the portion He's given me. Amen.
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OK, let's try to wrap this up. To summarize this deep dive,
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envy isn't just a minor flaw or simple sadness.
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No, it's a serious sin. It's theological treason, a
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quarrel with God's wise and good Providence.
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We see its destructive potential most clearly at the Cross.
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But the very Christ who was handed over out of envy is the
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one who provides the comprehensive cure.
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Through his life, death, and resurrection, He secures our
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standing through justification, ends our rivalry through
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adoption, and provides infinite resources through union with
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Him. And the Holy Spirit applies this
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cure progressively, teaching us contentment through mortifying
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the sin specific confession and vivifying the opposite virtue.
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Cultivating contentment. Rehearsing Providence,
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racticing, contrary obedience, all working together to kill
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comparison. Until we arrive at that central
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creed of the cure. Where Christ is truly enough for
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you, the neighbor's game genuinely becomes your joy, not
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your grief. That freedom, that non rivalrous
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life, is where true unmixed joy is found.
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So a final thought for you, the listener, to take away from
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this. Since you already possess every
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spiritual blessing in Christ, your standing is secure.
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Your Father's love is infinite. What one specific practical step
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can you take this week, maybe even today, to intentionally,
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proactively celebrate the good of the person whose successor
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blessing you find hardest to rejoice in?
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How can you practice that contrary obedience?