Latest / Thirsty For More - Movie Review / EP150 - Hudson Hawk

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EP150 - Hudson Hawk · Thirsty For More - Movie Review

0:00
M mother, I need the goal the goal man. Hello everybody, and
0:23
welcome to Planet Bruce. I. Of course I'm your host Malenko, and
0:27
I'm Alex of course. Of course I like Jimmy Hendrix, of course.
0:31
And this is nineteen ninety two's Hudson Hawk is it? Is it ninety two?
0:38
What year was this? With? Nine? Yeah? Directed by um
0:49
okay, So, like, let's start out with the cast first. It's
0:52
a pretty pretty cool cast. What do you want to list off some of
0:56
Daniello, Andy McDowell, James Cover, David Caruso, Sandra Bernhardt, Frank
1:02
Stallone, and Richard due Grant. Yeah. Like an amazing guest, pretty
1:06
amazing, pretty amazing. He did an amazing job for a movie that makes
1:11
no sense. Well, you know what? This movie reminded me of two
1:15
Stallone movies and a VANDAM movie. Oh, let me guess, okay,
1:21
okay, Oscar is one of them? Of course? Yes? Oh was
1:26
it the one where he has the clown? No? Not the one?
1:30
Yeah, guys, I'm a clown now look yeah what wait, there's another
1:41
there's another Stallone movie that reminds me of two which one? I think it's
1:46
Assassins. Yeah, totally, totally. It also makes no sense. Yeah,
1:52
and like, oh man, remember his essence? What a weird where
2:00
it didn't You're right, it doesn't remind, but it's not as outrageous.
2:04
Let me just talk about the director for a second, because he's directed some
2:07
good movies. And by good movies, I mean two good movies. Your
2:12
Heathers Okay, which is a good movie, and Airheads, which is a
2:15
good movie. Oh yeah, yeah, that's the one worth my dud my
2:20
deck. Yeah, that's right, that's right, with what Steve Bushey and
2:27
Brendon for zer. Oh yeah, I mean that movie is classic where he
2:30
wore a different kind of wig than he mostly wars. Then he wears now,
2:36
he doesn't wear now, it's now, it's just now. It was
2:39
just the floating hair pushes it up and then it's colored in between, like
2:46
mine, dude, my my die job. But what was this? What
2:53
was this movie? What? What I like? Okay, so we broke
2:58
our cardinal rule on the podcast and we watched this movie together. He's also
3:02
written written and as Your Wife. It was written by M. Daniel Waters,
3:09
who wrote Heathers and wrote Judge Dread Not Judge Read Demolition Man and wrote
3:15
Batman returns the best Batman. I mean, this one, this one has
3:21
echoes of those things. Let me just say that this movie. It feels
3:23
appropriate that for the one hundred and fiftieth episode of this podcast, you and
3:29
I would watch this movie together. I just wish we were covering a better
3:35
movie. We we kind of like skipped look who's talking to because we were
3:39
like we really shouldn't. Maybe we shouldn't have, but that would have prolonged
3:45
watching this movie. That's true. So I'm glad it's done. But yeah,
3:51
like you know, I don't know. I gotta say, Bruce Willis,
3:54
he writes, which is something you don't yeh. He wrote for this
3:59
movie. He didn't write for the hecame with the story for this movie.
4:01
I mean, but he had less creative input later on. Apparently cornecys fair
4:08
enough. I mean, like the weird thing, as I was watching the
4:11
movie, I felt like I felt like I wanted it either to be a
4:15
Tim Burton movie, or to be a Terry Gillian movie, or to be
4:20
there was somebody else that I was thinking of that or to be a Heathers
4:24
movie. Well, just like the problem with the movie wasn't any of the
4:29
actors. And it wasn't even actually the writing so much as like nobody really
4:33
has except for the villains of the movie. Nobody really has motivation at all
4:43
to do anything, Yeah, to do anything. It seemed like it was
4:46
a movie about two gay people wanting to destroy the economic market by flooding flooding
4:51
it with gold and Catholicism being the savior. Yeah. Yeah, and like
5:00
Bruce Willis kind of not really caring about the Catholicism, but because he's aligned
5:04
with it, it's like magically like he's gotten moral clarity. Yeah, kind
5:09
of, I don't know. Like Bruce Willis is like a cat burglar,
5:13
and in this world, like cat burglars are used by gay people to make
5:17
gay crimes happen. Yeah, like to ruin the world's markets, which seems
5:23
like they're like gay socialists, but they're like uber capitalists as well, which
5:28
like maybe isn't inaccurate. But yeah, I don't know. It was such
5:34
a such a weird setup. It's also such a like it's a cool it's
5:39
a cool movie. It is a cool movie. It is a cool movie,
5:43
but it's not a good movie. No, it's a very bad movie.
5:47
We can't talk about the movie like a popcorn around, right, I
5:51
mean popcorn around to what it's like anything where people characters go in at random
6:02
parts of the movie being like hey, Wallis, We've got a job for
6:06
you. He like leaves prison and immediately he's blackmailed by his parole officer who's
6:13
taking about of prison. It's like, no, that's not really how it
6:16
works, is it. And like the parole officer like kind of like facilitates
6:23
the plot, but then Net almost never comes back and gets murdered gets murdered.
6:29
Um, yeah, like so many Z eighty things happen, but like
6:32
none of the matters doesn't matter, and like, also it's hot about it
6:39
is that Like, well, let me just say that, I think I
6:43
don't think I've ever seen better on screen chemistry between any other person that we've
6:47
covered besides not electric the whole time, the whole time, and just like
6:58
oh yeah, this pair only makes sense. Yeah, it's just I wanted
7:01
them to. I wanted just that to be a movie just that being sexy
7:05
together. Yeah, And like Bruce Willis was really sexy in this movie,
7:10
and like he's very very charming, like the one of the only things that
7:15
made the movie bearable is outrageous. Faces were amazing, the singing was amazing.
7:23
Yeah, so like one giant statute. There's something that I did notice
7:31
that Bruce does in this and like Bruce brings charm to another level. Let's
7:36
be honest here, Like the charisma of Bruce, it's different than a Schwartzy.
7:42
It's different than a Stallone, It's different than a Van Damn. It's
7:46
it's a guy who seems like sorry, no, no, no please.
7:48
It's a guy who seems like he could charm at anybody, any literally,
7:53
anybody like literally, whereas like a Schwartzy all of the other ones. You
7:58
could totally get into my role bullshit me, Yeah totally. You You definitely
8:03
get an eye roll from everybody else, like where it's like from charm level
8:09
of like getting away with everybody. I feel like I feel like it would
8:13
probably go Bruce Stallone, Schwartzy, No Van Damn Schwartzy, Bruce. Still
8:20
wait, wait who has the most charm? Yeah, okay, run run
8:24
your stallone Van dam to be able to get away with it, Like I'm
8:31
talking like like it goes you think SCHWARTZI is the least amount of listen to
8:37
what I'm saying. Listen to what I'm saying, okay, because I'm not
8:39
explaining it right, Okay, Um, what I mean to say is people
8:45
who the charm would induce an eye roll for would be from most to least.
8:52
Actually probably Van dam Is most because I feel like he would try and
8:58
pull something and it's like, oh god, this guy. You know what
9:01
I mean. I'm not sure what you mean. Well, like, like,
9:05
okay, what I'm saying is Bruce Willis would never induce this kind of
9:11
reaction. Oh yeah, like I roll, Yeah, sure, yeah,
9:15
whereas Van dam would definitely induce an I roll because he would be a little
9:20
bit too provy about it, right and then and then schwartzy. He's like
9:26
a musty guy, so people wouldn't take him seriously enough. So like it's
9:31
like his is much less saying that you're saying. The everyman American Joe ism
9:35
of Bruce Willis, yeah makes him even more charming because he's just an every
9:39
man. Yeah, that's what you're saying. And again I got Harry leg
9:46
so like because the other guys have the like the flaw of being too much
9:50
themselves, too much whatever is what they are. You know what I mean.
9:54
Yeah, but like if if, if Bruce Willis is an American Joe
10:00
and everyman, he is the ultimate everyman. Yeah, Like he's like and
10:03
he's like, he's like his charm is in spades. He's eight, he
10:07
sings, he's a wig. It's filled in it, it's filled in something
10:15
is up Yeah right, yeah, because he's balder than this, because this
10:18
he's getting the die hard treatment. Yeah, definitely, definitely. I want
10:24
to see nineteen ninety one, this movie came out. Yeah, he was
10:28
You remember that movie where he's like the Vietnam bed and it's like his hair
10:33
is like combed back this one, this one is that's his real that at
10:37
that point it must be that's a reeler looking Maybe even that is a wig.
10:43
I don't know. It seems like too close up at the front.
10:46
Yeah, too at the front. I feel like it was way more like
10:52
me, to be honest. Yeah, yeah, definitely, because like that
10:56
is a way, that's a way it's a wig straight up anyway, my
11:00
my, I don't know. I like this movie, dude, I thought
11:03
it was no. I saw you fucking chuckling over over there, and I
11:07
was like so annoyed. I gotta say, like the movie is like you
11:13
hated it so much, and I ever like I knew that you hated it,
11:18
And like, I don't know why I like these kinds of movies.
11:22
They just make me such joy. I don't know why. Yeah, And
11:26
I don't know why you were sent to me for liking guy well because because
11:30
like because you're like, why is he enjoying something I don't I'm not enjoying,
11:35
Like I just I thought the fat stuff was Like I don't know,
11:39
Like I get it. I get it, Like we all want to make
11:43
fun of fat people. We all have that inner fat person that we hate.
11:46
No, listen, you and I that's that's a touchy issue for a
11:54
lot of people, dude, Like I think like you and I have have
11:56
a lot of we have. We have feelings about it too, we have
12:00
we were conditioning about it too, Like it just feels like, I don't
12:03
know, it's see seeing it in this movie like this, like where like
12:07
it kind of happened like a little too many times. It felt like it's
12:13
unnecessary, like you really like now it just seems like you're like being hateful,
12:18
you know what I mean, Like for no reason, like you're being
12:20
like, oh, you fucking fat fuck like just like the most value judgment.
12:28
Like it's I don't know, you know what I mean, Like I
12:30
feel like it would have been something that I would do it like years ago
12:33
for sure, but like now I'm like, man, like there's no reason
12:39
for that. It's like so sad. It's I don't know, yeah,
12:43
it felt it feels like there's like a real value judgment implicit in it.
12:48
And it really like like I know, I know I'm watching a movie like
12:54
a Snowflake or whatever, but like I'm like, it just felt weird.
12:58
It felt like incredibly obviously aggressive towards something in such a mean way, you
13:07
know, like and it felt like a writing thing, you know, Like
13:11
it felt like someone was like, oh yeah, another fat fucking joke,
13:15
you know what I mean. Yeah, I mean, but but like I
13:16
mean, in terms of the writing, I'll I won't I won't defend it,
13:20
but I'll defend the writer who did movies we liked. So it's like,
13:24
oh yeah, no, I like I don't you know, like yeah,
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of course I'm not. I'm not saying I'm not like dismissing it or
13:31
anything, like you know, I just found it. It stuck out to
13:33
me. Um. Another thing that stuck out to me was who is this
13:39
movie for? It's strange because it's like it's raided are Yeah, it's like
13:46
people violent, blown up swearing, but it's like a cartoon. But that
13:56
and I think that's what I liked about it. I just I kind of
14:00
wish a movie, a better version of this movie could exist. Yeah.
14:05
Yeah, and like there makes no sense. Well, there's movies that like
14:09
kind of existed, like the Mario movie, which they kept referring to Nintendo
14:13
and Mario Brothers in this movie so much because there's like bad guys named the
14:18
Mario Brothers, and like they keep being like, oh, let's play Nintendo
14:20
and like or and he doesn't, I don't know what Nintendo is. And
14:24
then later on he's like, why do we play some Nintendo? Slap on
14:28
on It's time to jail. You could tell that these this was either his
14:33
influence video game Bruce Willis stop on this Open up Agano, what bad feel
14:39
the burn kid. These guys need a little bit more lead in their die.
14:43
Yeah. Like he seems like he's like kind curious about video games for
14:46
sure. Um, I mean we'll talk about video games. Dude, slap
14:50
on on, It's time to ja man. Bruce willis so expressive with his
14:56
voice of this movie. So expressive with his voice, so expressive with his
14:58
face. It's such good face actor. It's like the weird like like he
15:05
I wish he did more of this. He's like a cartoon. This is
15:09
great. It's amazing. Yeah, but like also man, like such a
15:16
bold choice. I don't think Stallone would ever allow himself to be this vulnerable.
15:20
Dude. Yeah, like this vulnerable didn't get a cappuccino until the end
15:24
of the movie. Dude, thirsty for more? Dude, you you might
15:28
grow up to suck a dick. The song dude, Yeah, I love
15:35
the song. Um, but I like, yeah, I don't know if
15:39
I care about this movie and every day No, it's it's uh like for
15:50
all the amazing talent in it, it's like so bad. It's like it's
15:56
like a medi six, an actual three and like seven bruces. Yeah,
16:04
like it doesn't get that many bruces, even though even though he's really delivering
16:10
on the charm and he helps the movie so much because it's so mad and
16:18
you're judging his choices you're like, man, dude, maybe Slow's right.
16:22
He never would have done something like this, you would stop from And I
16:29
will say I'll say that, I will defend that movie. That movie's not
16:33
not as bad as everybody says. It's so funny, and I don't think
16:37
it's as bad as this. Stallone brings it and what's her name brings in
16:41
from? Yeah, Stale brings it. I think you're right. I think
16:45
this movie, I think the loan marga diaper dude, Stealthie Brucells would never
16:51
do. Yeah. Um, but Bruce Bruce, like, Okay, Bruce's
16:56
hair looked amazing in this movie. We we were analyzing the hair. We're
17:00
reanalyzing the hair on Mike, Like the hair is a mystery. Yeah,
17:06
because it's like the reasons I find peace the Yeah, the reason I find
17:11
it so strange is because what is two like three years later? You don't
17:17
bald this much in three years? Yeah, Like like pulp fiction is is
17:22
ninety four and he's very bald, and he's so bald, like bald in
17:27
in a way that's that is like yours. It's like a little tough at
17:30
the front with like like the hard ring. Yeah, and then maybe still
17:37
some like a lot of yeah, some stuff coverage, but but yeah,
17:41
but not island breaking. No thin, it was thin. It's not too
17:48
small, it's too thin exactly. Um, So he was like I think
17:53
he was maybe doing like a little bit of threading, you know, like
17:57
did that exist in the eighties. I don't, Oh maybe whatever it is,
18:02
it looks great. Like his hair looks better than the actual hair of
18:06
some of the other actors. It doesn't look like Stallone's aunt legs and then
18:12
and then it grows it out to two close upfront. Yeah, totally weird
18:18
unnatural hairlines. But but I will say, um, how much what's his
18:25
name? Frank Stallone looks like Trudeau in this movie speaking moistly. Dude.
18:30
That was insane. He looked so much like like kind of like a puffier
18:34
phase, you know, and he looked so much like Stallone. He looked
18:38
just so much like it's kind of like subsequently, like you know, Fidel
18:44
Castro Trudeau's dad. Okay, listen, I think that it's kind of like
18:49
when people see us and they're like, oh, you kind of look like
18:52
they kind of look like each other. Yeah, it's like, are you
18:56
twins? It's like Papa, and it's like looks like a slightly melted version.
19:06
And you see you're like, oh my god, oh my god,
19:11
I haven't seen I didn't seen that in a year. Is that him?
19:14
Oh no, my god, I'm just a costco picking up gas. There's
19:18
this I could just say, like, yeah, every time I've seen,
19:23
like when I saw him when died, like, he just gets more and
19:29
more looking like that, I know, but look like each other, I
19:32
know, and like and when when I saw him and like Bryan, I
19:37
was like and I was like, oh dude, whoa dude? Yeah,
19:45
because I had an emotional reaction. I was like, oh my god,
19:49
but also because I was like staring at him and I was like, who
19:55
is that? And I was kind of I did this? You did the
20:00
A move is like aggressively be mad. He doesn't understand ressively perceiving, confused
20:08
anger totally. And and oh man, when when I was trying to teach
20:21
that the like right click with the like mouse like with the mouse pal,
20:26
he was just like, I don't get out of do it. No,
20:29
I don't want to do this anymore. Is this fucking stupid? When did
20:32
you do that? Recently? Oh man? He's getting he's getting something because
20:36
I've shown him how to do that, like I know, but he does
20:40
this thing where he can't doesn't have the hand dexterity to do that kind of
20:45
click, so he like ends up like un clicking it and then he's like
20:48
I know, I know, And like he was just getting so aggressive and
20:52
totally totally so Hotson Hawk, dude, hotson Hawk. Um, Like can
21:00
we talk about the name. It's because he's a hawk. I don't even
21:03
care. It's so bad, Like there's those steaks and like there's no steaks,
21:11
which sucks because, like I said, like there's a really good cast.
21:15
It's a really good cat. They did like spectacularly, like actually there's
21:21
a budget, Like they're spectacular and you're just like whoa dude, Like what
21:26
is happening? How are these actors pulling this off at all? There's just
21:30
such a like there's a very weird tonal issue. It's so hot. There's
21:36
just like a weird Bruce Willis is so hot. Yeah, I was like,
21:40
whoa dude, Like no, he's not just regular like these dude's handsome,
21:45
like yeah yeah yeah, and he's like he's in shape. You know
21:48
what I mean like he's not cut or anything, but like he's he's in
21:52
shape. Yeah, oh you want something too, you know, like he's
21:56
he's in everything. He's an American Joe. Yeah on hairy legs. Dude,
22:02
let me show you what. Let me let me show you what what
22:04
Daniel Waters looks like? Please please, you asshole. That's this guy knows,
22:12
he knows, you know. Yeah, it's like a long strand of
22:18
comed over hair that is like forming ringy but like hold on, it's forming
22:25
the hairline for the rest of it to be balding in between. That's what
22:30
it is. And it's long on the sides. It's pretty cool. Actually,
22:34
it is pretty cool. Should I grow mine long? You should grow
22:37
a comb over, dude, Okay, you should do it. It's just
22:41
it's strange because Stephenie Disuza broke commando um and also co wrote this movie.
22:56
Yeah, but like it seems like there's a quality just Steven Edith Susa where
23:02
he's just like, let's turn him out, fellas. Let's just like it's
23:06
like an away like work shopping things, coked out around like a you know
23:11
what I mean, like like at like a diner, and he's just like
23:15
being like, yeah, so what's it. Yeah, totally, it's true.
23:19
I mean, but that's the crazy thing is that this this guy and
23:25
the direction was good too. It's just it was terribly written, not even
23:29
terribly written, just he had no focus on anything. Yeah, he was
23:33
like a but the movie, okay, let's sell. The movie is about
23:37
too rich people who want to steal some crystals that she invented but hid in
23:41
his like artworks so that nobody could find it, find it. And it
23:47
was like a mechanism by which he could turn regular metal into gold. Yeah,
23:52
and alchemy so so so so basically, um, he it was too
23:59
powerful things, so he hid the components in different artworks. And then like
24:04
there's a zany plan on the part of the CIA. Pay Joe Joe James
24:11
Coburn, who's great, but there's like zany evil people. There's way too
24:18
many evil people. There's way too many evils, and there's like then like
24:22
a kind of abolish sort of like um, I guess like insane billionaire plot
24:33
too. You know, there's this gay sibling duo who wants to like get
24:38
that welcome. They're not I thought they were brother and sister. No,
24:41
they're lovers. Oh yeah, okay, but they're but they're both gay.
24:48
I mean in real life. Sandra Bernhard is um Richard E Grant I'm pretty
24:52
sure is maybe. Well it was a very flamboyant performance on both of their
24:59
parts. The performed like so entertaining. And so I will say, Richard
25:03
E Grant has played gay people before, and he's like one of those guys
25:07
who's like, oh, yeah, this guy's for some reason, yeah,
25:11
a gay icon for some reason, I mean vaguely British enough, yeah,
25:17
exactly, Well he's British, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,
25:18
but like vaguely yeah, totally, And so that it's like, oh,
25:22
his gayness is unthreatening to me, exactly, there's anotherness to it. It's
25:26
a different culture. It's their culture, dude. And also like the sidekicks
25:33
of James Coburn, the like crew that were named after chocolate David Caruso,
25:41
a mullet bleach blonde guy yeah, with like a very spiky top, like
25:48
different layers of hair, yeah, and a long back missing a tooth,
25:53
the strong black lady. Yeah. And then there was also like, um
26:00
David Caruso who was kind of inconsequential, completely inconsequent and then the guy who
26:03
kept dressing up as the different characters and acting like them, but that never
26:10
came about either. I don't know what that was about. Yeah, I
26:14
mean, like I looking at the time, I just like resent can be
26:18
a good episode. Well, No, I resent having to talk about these
26:21
things because I'm just like I don't care. I'd like, can I ask
26:25
you? Like It's funny because like the effort and willingness to go through a
26:32
movie that you do, like with a fine toothcomb and like maybe things that
26:37
I disagree with, but like you analyze them in a particular kind of way.
26:41
But you seem to resent movies that like you just don't like as opposed
26:47
to like doing the work. What do you mean, like, actually you
26:49
want you want me to like treat I just don't feel like each movie is
26:55
worthy of the same treatment. No, absolutely, It's just like what I
26:59
mean to say is like, I mean, we do a show, right,
27:00
so it's like like I'm talking about it. I'm talking about it to
27:03
the to whatever degree. I feel like it's you know, like I'm not
27:07
trying to skip it over, but like I just don't know what else I'm
27:11
gonna say. Yeah for sure. But I just mean, like I guess
27:14
I do this anyway with all movies. So it doesn't like I can just
27:17
talk about any movie. Yeah, we are talking about it. Sorry,
27:23
my nervous system is regulating, you know, we are talking about it.
27:26
Like I think that this movie, UM had had some worthwhile parts, Like
27:32
I think there were some really interesting stuff like you like everything you mentioned,
27:37
but like I just yeah, I wouldn't know where much more to elaborate.
27:40
Not not that I'm trying to like no, totally totally kill the conversation,
27:42
No, totally totally. It's just like, but I know you can do
27:45
this with music that you don't like. Yeah, So it's like, you
27:49
know, like, well we are doing the work. I'm trying to lean
27:53
on you a bit more like I yeah, yeah, I mean it's it's
27:56
tough because like not going through it, because you can't go through this movie.
28:00
It's from the get go, just the wackiest thing in the world.
28:04
Um in kind of an annoying way, Like were you annoyed at a certain
28:10
point, I was just like, this is like so boring. How do
28:15
you feel about if this was more a parody would you feel do you think
28:22
you'd feel different about it. Maybe maybe if it was like hot Shots or
28:27
if it was like you know, Naked gunr. But like I would still
28:32
be wanting maybe a better story, like I don't like because those do have
28:37
better stories. And the reason they have better stories is that they take other
28:41
stories that are better and make them. Again. That's the thing funny things,
28:45
And that's why I was like, who is this movie for? Because
28:48
it seems like it's for kids. Like there's cool parts, like the part
28:52
when they're like on their skateboards okay, oh yeah, where they're like rolling
28:59
on their knees on the skateboards using the skateboards as like wheelie things. If
29:03
I saw that as a kid, I would have thought it was really cool.
29:07
Another thing that seems magical in the movie is the relationship between who who
29:11
is the like his sidekick Danny Aello? Who who is that guy? What
29:15
do I know him from? Because is he the guy from Ventura? No
29:21
Ventura is ding ding? Oh? No, no, not that guy.
29:27
What did you do not to you? I meant was to you? In
29:32
this there was some guy yeah, oh, that guy who was the priest
29:37
looked like Dio the egghead priest, not a smart priest, but literally a
29:41
guy who had an egghead. Um. I mean I remember him from Do
29:48
the Right Thing. He's in Godfather too. Oh yeah, um, once
29:56
upon a Time in America. Okay, so like I've seen him into Yeah.
30:00
Um it's always playing like priests, like kind of like rugged around the
30:06
edges breeze, Yeah, for sure. Um, I don't know, man,
30:11
Like it was so boring. It was so boring. Like sometimes what
30:17
I think what you sense is like there's a certain kind of like boringness.
30:22
I can't forgive a movie yeah, um, which is not a seventies kind
30:26
of boring, but a boring that's like, look, it's guys, oh
30:32
man, nineties kind of boring. It's a specific kind of not fun of
30:37
boring, like because it's like I mean, yeah, it seems like it
30:42
seems like what we kind of resent Marvel movies for doing, you know,
30:47
like that's totally being too zany, being like not even zany, just like
30:52
I don't know, like like I'll bring it back to some very transphobic movie,
30:59
uh, which was a Spenta Pet Detective, which is very zany,
31:03
but has a like narrative through line that that really really adds to each individual
31:11
scene as having to play out for a reason. What does that mean,
31:15
to play us out? I don't know what that means, to play us
31:18
out? What does that mean? I don't know what that means. Whereas
31:22
like so like you go consequence to this movie, buy you buy into the
31:26
reality of as Ventura because they create like a sort of they create a kind
31:32
of illusion of like illutions. Michael, you know what I'm saying, Like
31:37
a centuris sort of like creates an illusion of being a coherent like a kind
31:45
of like realistic rooted in reality. Because there's contrast too, he's the zany
31:51
one, and everybody knows that he's zany and heat they react to him as
31:56
if they were in a sitcom, either in a sitcom or in a way
32:00
that's like dismissive or rooted in some like oh who is this guy? But
32:06
I remember I always remember finding it weird when like something like like a transphobic
32:13
thing like this in Basementurepet Detective was like the butt of the joke. I
32:17
would always be like something like, it feels weird about this, you know
32:23
what I mean? Like I mean, I don't know, I think here
32:27
might be projecting a little bit onto your younger self. Maybe maybe because like
32:32
that is all we knew, but like but it did seem like when stuff
32:37
happened, it was like, oh is that what that means? You know
32:40
what I mean? Like you get like you get the message from it,
32:44
and you're just like you kind of like internalize it in this way where you're
32:47
like, oh, like is that how I'm supposed to feel about this?
32:53
You know what I mean? Maybe I don't know, Like I just I
32:57
didn't have the I don't I don't think I had the fact culties to think
33:00
about it in that way. Really, Yeah, just like like the question
33:07
is that what I'm supposed to feel like about this? Maybe I could remember
33:12
some sort of feelings about that, but I don't think I could have articulated
33:16
in that way. I don't even remember, Like, there's no way I
33:21
could remember like that. I'm I could only project my own personal feelings now
33:27
about it. Yeah that's true anyway. Yeah, this movie made me think
33:31
about being a kid, though, And that's what's I find it interesting that
33:37
you mentioned ace Ventura as kind of like a comparison point, because it did
33:40
like You're right, there is like the kind of it's where the Zaninist works
33:45
and doesn't work. And I really just think in this movie, the Zaninist
33:50
did not work. No, And the only thing selling it was people's reactions
33:55
to it, Yeah, which were kind of fun. Yeah, which were
34:00
fun and they seem like they were having a good time. Um. Which
34:05
I also think that something that's you might not like, which is when people
34:09
have fun in movies. People have fun in movies, but you're it's like,
34:14
this isn't me. I'm not having fun? Why are you? Why
34:16
do you get to have fun and I get to watch you have fun?
34:20
I feel that way. I feel that way a lot of times when I
34:22
talk about do you feel like movies ever invite you also to have fun?
34:27
Absolutely? I was just this movie just didn't do that. No, they
34:30
were just having fun and they thought our fun is gonna make them have fun.
34:35
Whereas like when I and I know this because like I love The Ocean's
34:38
eleven movies, all of them, um, but when I when I talk
34:44
to people about those movies, I instantly feel that thing of like, no,
34:49
I like that movie. And I know they don't know this, but
34:52
I know they they think that it's like, oh, man, like I
34:57
want to do cool stuff like this, Why I are you doing it?
35:00
They get kind of mean about it. I don't know. I've had a
35:02
lot of conversations where people don't like that movie? Which one? And what
35:08
do you think they think about it? They think that they think, like,
35:12
these people are having fun without me. Oh, but you don't feel
35:15
that way. So I am along for the ride. I was along for
35:20
the ride for this one too. Yeah. Well, the movies like this
35:22
really work on you, like I I you really like there's a kind of
35:27
like goofy silliness that like, I think you're like able to like just tap
35:30
into and have a good time with like, And I'm not trying to be
35:34
condescending about that. I just like I don't care. I'm like, I'm
35:37
like I was. I was really bored. Do you know what? What
35:43
would have made this movie work? Two things, A rewrite number one and
35:47
a different director, And both of them could have been done by um,
35:53
the Cohen brothers, and it would have worked because it feels like it wants
35:59
to edge at that that kind of zany a right Cohen Brothers, Bruce.
36:02
I feel like Bruce would have been such a great commu Willis is such Bruce
36:07
Willis is such a good Cohen Brothers actor that I get excited just thinking about
36:14
it, the same way I got excited when Wes Anderson cast him in a
36:17
movie, and I was like, oh man, that is amazing. We're
36:20
gonna get to talk about a Wes Anderson movie. That's true, mister Wes
36:24
Anderson. Um, I don't know. Do you want to, like just
36:28
go to the ratings of what we would do? Would you? I mean
36:30
you already gave my rating. What did you give it? I think three?
36:35
It's a realistic three. I would give it a six, and I
36:38
would give Bruce a seven. Okay, I I don't think i'd give it
36:43
a three. Like I enjoyed some things about it. Maybe I'll give it
36:46
a four point five. Sure it does. Stiltons is not more than I
36:51
have, more than average, but it's okay. Yeah, It's like I
36:55
don't hate it. Yeah, I don't hate it. I just don't love
37:00
it and I don't care about it. I will never revisit it, but
37:02
never. That's that's my biggest disappointment is that I would never ever revisit this
37:07
movie. Yeah, Like it's kind of a bummer because, like I really
37:12
like Bruce, and I'm really enjoying Bruce. But it's interesting how checkered Bruce's
37:17
career is in this regard because he was willing to take these kinds of chances.
37:23
And I do think that we'll see him swinging big takeoff. We're that's
37:29
we're gonna encounter that no matter what for Bruce, because Bruce is not unlike
37:32
all the other guys we've covered so far. Can I make a suggestion for
37:37
um for a potential su what's it called a Boner show episode for Fifth Element
37:49
Leon the Professional? Because that movie we could have on on it. It
37:54
would be It's so problematic and I have so many defenses of the not getting
38:01
but yeah, I think that would be sick. Yeah, I'd love to
38:05
just remember to remember to do that when we get there. Um, I
38:08
gotta say, I don't know, like I watch it, don't watch it.
38:13
Listen to our episode. Listen to our episode. Give us money on
38:15
Patreon, follow us and follow us at Thirsty for More, presents on Instagram
38:22
at more Thirsty on Twitter, and guys on Patreon. We're patreon dot com
38:28
slash Thirsty for More. Now if you're not on the Patreon what the hell
38:30
are you doing? Yeah, we're we're we're releasing these, you were,
38:34
These are already out to patrons. They will have already have listened to these
38:39
before you do. You know what sucks about the about this though, is
38:44
the fact that when we do release like the actual episodes, like, what
38:47
are we gonna do like for the Patriots. Oh, we'll just keep doing
38:52
We'll keep going forward. So they're just getting episodes early. Okay, so
38:55
that's the perk. Okay, yeah, well no, and I keep doing
39:00
Bonership Yeah, of course, of course. Yeah. And listen, dude,
39:05
I mean, Bruce is great. I'm very excited about Bruce. Didn't
39:08
love this movie? What what's the next movie? We but we should?
39:12
I do want to like elaborate a little bit on Bruce and his performance in
39:15
this. Can we do that? Yeah? I mean, I'll keep going.
39:21
Let's just do some posts talking about about Bruce rather than you know,
39:27
I just feel like we haven't really, you know, justified our Bruce as
39:32
yet. I mean it's hard. It's hard because we never watched them as
39:37
kids. Right. His voice is amazing, Yeah, yeah, his voice
39:44
is amazing, and like he's kind of like god. Yeah, yeah,
39:49
well I can't do. Man, there's something It's like in the back of
39:54
the throat, a little bit holds them down right right shit bricker tree.
40:02
Uh, it's it's he's really good. So next movie is Last Boy Scout?
40:08
What movie is that? That is a movie? Did I did I
40:15
see that movie? Um? Bruce Willis sucks? Did I see that movie?
40:22
Man? It's like when you watch shit. Oh no, this is
40:25
the Damon Wayne's movie. I've never seen this movie. Oh dude, wait,
40:37
is that the one where they're like handcuffed together. No, that's uh,
40:42
that's a different movie. That's the Adam Sandler Damon Waites movie. O.
40:45
Um. But this is an amazing This is amazing because it's Tony Scott,
40:51
Shane Black uh at Bruce Willis at David Wayne's. So that's a good
40:57
That's that's a good one. Well we'll do that. That's I'm very excited
41:00
for that. Um. Yeah. I think Bruce Willis has kind of a
41:06
checkered career because he didn't choose a lane. And I think that because he
41:14
chose Jerry instead, you know, but I was like Danniel No, No,
41:23
I think like because he like was able to sort of ride these different
41:29
lines. He was able to kind of reach heights that the other guys never
41:32
really did, and also like mainstream qualities that the other other guys never did.
41:38
Like mainstream, I think you mean like Normy more than mainstream. That's
41:44
right, because like nobody, none of the other guys would ever have been
41:47
in a caliber of movie such as like the Astronaut one what's the one called?
41:54
You know what I mean, But like none of them would be able
41:57
to be in a movie like um sixth sense either. That's the dynamicness of
42:04
him is that he's able to like transcend genres in a lot of ways,
42:08
in ways that like Stallone definitely couldn't Van dam potentially could well yeah, but
42:15
like only if like they actually someone took a chance on totally Schwartzy. I
42:21
don't think Schwartzy's got the rage. I mean Schwartzy he was in in the
42:25
the zombie movie, Um Maggie. Schwartzy has had elevated moments, I would
42:30
say, but I don't think Schwartzi's like now, seeing Schwartzy's acting compared to
42:36
Stallone's acting, Schwartzy's a clown like in comparison, I gotta say, compared
42:42
to me a quiet boy like Schwartzy is. Schwartzy is like amazing and has
42:47
gravitas and he will always be the goat. But like I gotta say,
42:52
my perception has changed, you know what I mean? Yeah, but part
42:55
of the perception the problem with again, this is a you applying your standard
43:04
now to a previous standard that you had, right, Yeah, so it's
43:07
really difficult because now he's like baggy floaty thought the body Schwartzy. So it's
43:15
hard to like like square those feelings. It's not about that though, because
43:20
it is it is. Well okay, yeah, so you're saying a lot
43:22
of the charm was in the body. No, I'm saying that a lot
43:28
of what you saw before is still real. It's just tainted by the fact
43:34
that, like we're watching these all in tandem. We're watching these two,
43:38
we're comparing them in ways that are like, oh yeah, like I mean,
43:44
like they were compared before, but nobody's ever going to do this with
43:46
them, you know what I mean. Okay, Okay, So so my
43:51
my thing is here, like and everyone's had a different sort of lot in
43:57
life. All of these guys, like you know, Vandam's still doing Okay,
44:01
Bruce will has lost his hearing and hasphaia and dementia. Yeah, and
44:07
like so like you know, he's kind of like going to have like a
44:09
pretty hard decline I think in in even in our like sort of like covering
44:15
of his movies, I know we're not doing all of them, and we're
44:17
decidedly not doing a lot of the like um yeah, um, I think
44:25
that. You know, Schwartzy just like legitimately feels like he's the only guy
44:35
in the cannon of all of those that we've covered so far that's had like
44:39
eras where he's been in decline and like consistently so never like never even a
44:45
van dam style redemption. Yeah, that's true. There or there was a
44:52
plateau and then a sink, a big sink, but then the plateau again
44:59
to just staying at that because like watching that goddamn trailer that was like food
45:05
bar with um uh what was her name again, Une Fortune Feaster. It's
45:15
like, oh wow, Fortune Reemster. So do you that, Oh wow,
45:30
do you remember when? Like can you find that for me in situ?
45:34
Yeah? Yeah, it's called uh wait, hold on, I like
45:45
Fortune Feamster. I'm excited for I'm excited for Fortune Feamster Swartzy like, I
45:52
want to give that the benefit of the doubt, you know what I mean,
45:58
even though I I'm in our listen, this is how much I wanted
46:01
to succeed in our bet that we've taken you and I that that the New
46:07
Schwartzy Show. So, guys, for those of you who haven't heard this
46:09
episode, Alex and I have, we're doing a bet that the New Schwartzy
46:17
Show food bar is. Alex is saying that it's going to be as good
46:24
as Van Dam's John Claude van Johnson, and I'm saying I'm betting that it's
46:30
going to be worse, and we're betting on a sixty dollars meal. I'll
46:35
have to buy Alex's sixty dollars meal at Mendi's if he wins, and if
46:40
I win, he has to buy me sixty dollars worth of groceries. That's
46:44
been our bet that we've set, and our rules are, will be honest,
46:50
will beat, will admit to each other, will prove to each other
46:54
our points, not just prove to each other, but the show, on
46:59
my end, has to be equally as good as a whole, as each
47:06
as a whole, as Bevan Johnson and within the episodes, it has to
47:09
be as good as as the show. Okay, Okay, I still I
47:14
still think I have a chance of winning. I don't, honestly, I
47:17
will say, because it's it's kind of party walking away from the fire Dovester.
47:22
It's like, yeah, dude, your career does look like that.
47:25
Yeah. Well, Like, I mean the thing is is that, like
47:30
they're probably gonna be different, but they're gonna be I feel like they're gonna
47:32
be similar enough. Maybe I'm all have shows too. Maybe I'm a little
47:37
resentful of Schwartzy because he wasn't he you think he had more potential? I
47:43
do. I'm disappointed in him. He didn't take enough chances. Schwartzy didn't
47:46
take enough chance. He had shit stacked against him so much, the most
47:52
than ever any yeah, like the ancient like just not knowing English in general.
48:00
He had He did everyone. Yeah, he exceeded everyone in a way.
48:05
In a way, he was more famous than any of them. Yeah,
48:08
and he was the governor. I mean I don't think that makes him
48:12
go to though, Like I feel like that makes him like whatever, like
48:15
Republican governor. I mean, yeah, he's got good policies. I'll say
48:21
that he's behind cool shit like like nature and stuff believes in climate change for
48:24
its man, thank god, not like not like you know my trees,
48:30
I got a water. Yeah, I believe in climate change. That's why
48:34
I gotta water those trees. You know, you know there's a drought.
48:37
I toy heard that there was a drug. You know. I don't believe
48:40
in COVID. I mean I do, I do, but you know I'm
48:47
in good shape. But I don't need to get the vaccinetally totally thinks he's
48:54
a good shape. But you know I'm in good shape. But I don't
48:58
what do I need this? I don't smoke it, drink us, don't
49:00
don't. Um Yeah, anyway, follow us that all that shit? Um
49:08
and you know what, if you can't, then write a review. Give
49:12
us five stars on your podcatcher of choice and write a review of this show
49:16
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