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The 'Traditional Woman' Does Not Exist · The imuRgency Room

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The traditional woman does not exist and contrary to whatever
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red pill slop you may see on the Internet, this actually is a
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good thing. Hey guys, what's up?
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Some urgency and welcome. Welcome back to my channel.
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And I just have to disclaim before we get into this that,
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yes, gay man and woman's business.
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So take what I say with whatever size grain of salt you think it
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deserves and let it be known that this is not coming
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unprovoked. And in fact, I made a whole
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video talking about the exact same thing except about
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traditional men. And y'all ask for this, so here
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we are. But yeah, very similar to my
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video about about traditional men and why traditional men no
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longer exist and should not exist.
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The same can be said for the traditional woman.
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And I think this conversation is very interesting because we see
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so much content and so much discourse around the traditional
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woman or the traditional wife. And I feel like what's
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interesting about this kind of content and this whole
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discussion is that this push towards traditionalism is coming
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from both sides, both from men and women, but kind of talking
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about two very separate but similar things.
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And in this video I want to talk about why both of these things
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are kind of getting the whole something wrong and why this
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push towards traditionalism for women or being a trad woman or a
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trad wife does not exist anymore and should not exist anymore for
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the good of pretty much everyone.
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So to get started with this conversation we do need to talk
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about what does it mean to be traditional and specifically
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getting into what does it mean to be a traditional woman.
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And shocker, it does not look great for women.
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According to the peer reviewed article Social media is
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Dangerous Fantasy. How the trad wife movement Fuels
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Inequality and gender based violence by Antonio Wolf and
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others. Trad wife is short and for
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traditional wife, which is a lifestyle that has gained online
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traction over the last decade through different social media
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platforms. Trad wives differ from
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housewives though. Through their ideology, trad
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wives hold strict archetypal gender roles.
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They support the patriarchy and submit to their husbands.
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They commodify far right politics and disseminate sexist
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and racist rhetoric veiled by images of romantic domestic
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life. Which is a fancy way of saying
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that trad wives and traditional womanhood is the modern day
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yasified version of just submitting to the patriarchy in
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doing what red pilled men or traditional men have been
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expecting and wanting from women since before the women's rights
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movement. Because the key part here is
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that it's the ossified to make it seem like it's a thing of
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control and relinquishing control.
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And don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with wanting to
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relinquish control to your partner or be more submissive in
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your relationship. But I think there is a
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difference when it comes to wanting to fall back into
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traditional values and like fall back into patriarchal norms and
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call that revolutionary or something new or like a a novel,
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because that's anything but. In fact, that quite literally is
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the status quo, if not is taking a few steps back.
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I don't understand how this isn't every woman's dream.
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I mean, you get to stay home all day and just do whatever you
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want, like cook and clean and maybe cook and clean and then
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cook and then clean. And the best part is you don't
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even have to see anybody. You don't have to talk to
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anybody. It's just you and the baby.
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And one thing to note is that when we're talking about these
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roles, love itself is never in the equation really.
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And if it is, it's about the woman loving the man
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unconditionally. It's so funny that some of these
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trad wives are just like, you know what isn't working for me
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anymore? Having full rights and autonomy.
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So I'll just run a play that's. Straight up from the 18.
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Hundreds, because ultimately, the AD wife movement is just the
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cult of true womanhood all over again.
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And the man reaping the benefits of a woman's labor, whether that
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be emotional, physical or mental.
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Either that or a man reaping the benefit of what the woman
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symbolizes to him, that being a good modest woman, like a true
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pillar to being a trad wife, is being subservient to a man.
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And it really doesn't get more male centered than that.
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So I think that when women embody like the traditional
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roles of a marriage, they kind of end up sacrificing and giving
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up their whole life for their husband.
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The way I view it is everything you do as a woman is to progress
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your husband's life. And there are just real glaring
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reasons as to why traditionalism does not work in the modern day
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for women or for anyone to be real.
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But, you know, for the sake of this video.
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Because, for one, when it comes to distribution of Labor and
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like, who is leading the household, the notion of being a
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trad wife, at least the way that trad wives are right now, kind
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of still makes you the leader of the household.
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You're just not getting credit for it.
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Women get exhausted in traditional partnerships because
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they are the leaders of their households.
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It's not the opposite. It's not because they're being
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so overlooked and because they're so of course, like that
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narrative exists to some extent, but it's actually because women
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in traditional, the trad wife, that whole traditional framework
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are the leaders by every conceivable metric.
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They're the ones that are taking care of the space.
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They're the ones that deciding what the home looks like.
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They're the ones that are deciding how the kids are going
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to spend their time. They're the ones spending how
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the family unit as a whole is going to be spending their time.
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They're the ones that decide for the for the most part, how the
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family money is going to be spent.
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They're the ones deciding if a child is going to be brought
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into that family, if they're going to get pregnant.
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They they make virtually every single meaningful decision about
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the house, about the family, about them as a unit, as a
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couple. Like, women call the shots in
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literally every single way and. An important thing to note when
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it comes to the conversation around being a tried wife or
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being a traditional woman is that like the essence of being
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traditional as a woman does not center yourself or your needs.
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In fact, to be a traditional woman in like the textbook form
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means that you are centering a man and a man is always
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involved. And I personally hate that
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because the traditional life and traditionalism centers and has
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always centered men, men's needs, men's wants, and men's
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lives. To be a traditional woman in the
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way that has been traditional means to reduce yourself to an
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accessory to an accomplishment, a quest for a man, because that
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is how things were traditionally done.
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And I hate that. I don't think that should be the
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norm because in a way, it's kind of stripping away someone's
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personhood to be considered an accessory to someone as opposed
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to someone's partner or someone's equal.
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But hey, everyone has a choice and I'm going to respect
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people's choices if you're choosing to pursue that
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lifestyle and that is something that you are actually seeking.
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But I think the greater conversation here is that I
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think that a lot of people are subscribing to this whole
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aesthetic in this whole vibe because there is an appeal to
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letting someone else lead, make decisions for you and take care
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of you financially, especially now when times are so uncertain
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and things are so expensive. But I think we're not thinking
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all the way through what that means and what you give up for
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that. And as we talked about in the
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previous video, in this traditional saga around
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traditional men, it really just isn't feasible to even attempt
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to be traditional in today's world because generally our
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milestones in life have shifted and are not what they used to
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be. Like finding a man, especially a
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Gen. Z man, to be a sole provider is
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realistically going to be tough because inflation's up, wages
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are down, and gas is $7.00 in California.
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Lots of Gen. Z men are not.
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They are not going to chase you like they want to be chased.
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Like they will not even do a woman the service of asking her
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out and planning the date. They want the woman to plan the
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date. They want the woman to text
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first. They want the woman to initiate
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things physically. It's like it is completely
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backwards from a traditional standpoint.
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So I don't really know where the people that are writing these
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articles are getting this information from because it
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certainly cannot be Gen. Z women.
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And you know, disclaimer police, this isn't me saying that like
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you're never going to find anyone that's going to treat you
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right. Like I, that's not what I'm
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saying. And please don't take it that
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way. I'm speaking generally across
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the board for everybody. Not many people in general in
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our generation are able to sustain a family off of 1 wage.
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But speaking specifically about women, there are more choices
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than ever as women are able to work, make their own money,
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pursue whatever educational endeavors and don't have to play
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the 15 roles that go into being a Hillmaker.
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And that's really me speaking to the choir because studies show
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that like, yeah, the girlies does this.
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Women have an outperforming men in the classroom and in the
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workplace for a minute now, like the girlies are up.
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But social media, regular media and just general content will
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have you thinking that like, that's a bad thing.
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And to do that work and be really successful and be really
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good at your job is to be in your masculine and that it's
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more feminine to just be at home, take care of the kids, get
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into baking and sourdough starter talk, work on your
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modesty, your aesthetic, be a clean girl and be mindful that
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you show up in the section. Do y'all remember that?
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Y'all remember that trend? That was a deep pull.
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But it like even then to point out the hypocrisy.
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Like the traditionally feminine roles like home making or just
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being a mother have been historically downplayed because
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of patriarchy. To be like these softer more
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feminine roles when they also are very hard work because those
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aren't jobs that you can just clock out of.
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And like not to be a Reddit truther, but like this post kind
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of hits the nail on the head. And if we really want to wake it
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up and go down the extreme path, I point you no further to the
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tred wives that are influencers because that might friends is
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one of the biggest contradictions.
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Because I can assure you that those Tri wipe influencers are
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making a lot more money than whatever their man is doing.
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And I don't know about you, but that does not sound very
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providerly of that man. But as I alluded to earlier in
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the video, there is something to be said about how this rise in
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like traditionalism in like trad wipery is just pinkwash
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misogyny. a TikTok like this is something
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that you see all over the for you page and at surface level
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can be seen as pretty innocuous and pretty harmless.
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None But content like this is honestly some of the most
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sinister. Not necessarily because of the
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creator themselves, but more so because of the messaging.
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Because it's using modern day frustrations to basically tout
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gender bio essentialism and looks back on the struggles of
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women back in the day and kind of goes maybe that wasn't so
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bad. They actually had it kind of
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good back then. Like girl, no, like the reason
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why we're even able to see it that way is because we have the
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privilege of perspective and the very privileged position of
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choice. Like there's a reason why whole
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generations of people fought for us to be where we are now, even
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though right now isn't amazing. There are generations of people
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that fought for the rights that we have now.
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And again, this isn't to say like, if that's the life you
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want to live, then don't live it because again, the root of
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everything is choice and more specifically your own choice.
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But I think the problem we get into with a lot of the content
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that's online right now is that it influences the choices that
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you do make with information that might not be the best or
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the most accurate or telling the whole story.
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Well, you're busy, right? Your nervous system.
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He's regulating laws and infrastructure to enforce on
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your body. And that's ultimately what all
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this feminine energy content is about.
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It's a compensation package for the patriarchy, A coping
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mechanism for misogyny, A digitally administered SSRI.
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Gender maxing is just as much of A content genre for women as it
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is for men. It's all about manufacturing
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sexual dimorphism and these femininity coaches because they
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don't really have very much to say though.
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Instead, they resort to pseudophysics with vibes,
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energy, frequency, electromagnetism, gender
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addition, masculine and feminine polarity.
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Because surprise, triwef content isn't the only kind of content
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with this kind of messaging around bio essentialism, gender
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roles and gender Larping. Because a lot of seemingly
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spiritual content, like think of the vein of like divine feminine
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content, still pushes this bio essentialist rhetoric saying
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that like, oh, this thing in this action feminine, this thing
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in this action masculine, the twain shall not mix.
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If you are girl you shall be feminine and if you are a boy
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you shall be masculine and never, never swap those
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energies, which is just not how the world works and is
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problematic on multiple levels. The conversation around what
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makes a traditional woman or what traditional men or just men
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in general want from a traditional woman and where that
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desirability comes from is definitely problematic if you
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want to examine it because a lot of it, and bear with me, can
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stem back to things like how do I say this without getting
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demonetized? PDF Phillic.
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Centuries of conditioning is a hell of a thing to overcome, but
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just to say it because somebody needs to say it.
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When you diminish your womanhood so that the man next to you can
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feel like a bigger man, you're playing into like fantasies.
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There's a reason why Palia is so normalized in so many cultures
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around the world and it's because y'all romanticize that
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shit and you think it's kinky and cute and quirky and funny
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and it's not. Like if you really think about
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it, what other group of people need to always be taken care of,
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need to be provided for, have their decisions made for them,
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are youthful looking, are expected to be quiet and are
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expected to speak only when spoken to, and are generally
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expected to be hairless children.
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And not saying that being a trad wife or wanting a trad wife
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means that you are one of those types of people, but it's
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important to understand where a lot of these values and
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interests are rooted in. And a lot of it unfortunately is
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rooted in that sort of stuff. Because being a trad wife, you
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are submissive, you dress very frilly and youthful, but then
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are also expected to be like a mother to everyone in this
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situation, even your man, While also at the same time making
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yourself smaller and subservient to your husband, man, or
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whatever. Regardless of if you are both
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working or if one of you is working.
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And personally that doesn't sit right with me because like for
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one, that just doesn't make sense.
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And two, that's not a true and equal division of Labor because
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those things aren't valued the same, unfortunately.
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Modesty does not exist. Being of the opinion that women
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should cover themselves head to toe to Coleman's desires is the
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same as being of the opinion that women should go out fully
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naked to excitement. In both, the woman's body is
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made solely the object of desire, and yet it has made her
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responsibility to either facilitate this desire or impede
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it. And then a whole side point of
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this conversation is around the concept of modesty, because I
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think one of the core pillars to like traditionalism and being
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traditional is to be modest and to dress modestly.
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And I think that there is like an interesting conversation to
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be had around the concept of modesty because who are you
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being modest for? Is it for how you perceive
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yourself and how you want to dress?
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Or is the modesty for other people and how they are
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perceiving you? I think there is this big
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modesty push, like almost scoring brownie points for being
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modest. Like who could be the most
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modest? Because that somehow translates
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to like your value as a person, which again, in my opinion could
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be kind of male centered because like, who are you being modest
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for? Like why are we translating how
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people dress and like the way that they dress with someone's
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inherent value? Because the real problem here
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revolves around like the ability to choose what you dress.
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Because at the end of the day, the fault isn't like dressing a
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certain way. It's being told how you should
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dress, especially because the conversation is catered to
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centering men. And I do think that sometimes
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immodesty is presented as always being more authentic, as always
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being more stylish, as always being this kind of like a few to
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the world, a few to people policing your body.
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It's like this, this narrative of like, I'm going to allow my
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body to exist and I'm going to allow my body to be out there.
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And I'm not going to allow, you know, these crazy Christian
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religious people to tell me that I need to be modest and cover up
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and whatever. And like, that's absolutely
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true. And there's definitely a time
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and place for that. But I think like that just ends
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up becoming its own form of pressuring women on how they
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should act, how they should dress.
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Like telling women if you're confident in your body, if you
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love your body, if you're truly progressive, then you'll be OK
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showing more skin. Like I always hated growing up
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and like going to different family functions and seeing how
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family members would talk about girls and like how they would
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dress. So the detail is all this time
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being like, oh, make sure you're not dressing a certain way
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around certain family members, Which again, goes back to the
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point we're talking about before about those PDF files.
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But even generally with how people would speak about women's
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dress, like you'd always see the old heads dredging the hot flag
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girl that would be dressed to the nines, not necessarily
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modestly, but like the alpha would eat.
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And they call her all types of fast, easy and all these other
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derogatory terms. And growing up, I always thought
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that was like an old head thing and like something that like we
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would replace as we grow up. But now we're circling back.
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We're becoming the old heads pushing this modesty and pushing
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these projections of what we believe these people are like
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because they don't dress modest. Because the answer to all of
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this is to dress however you feel comfortable and however you
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feel confident. But when it comes to this whole
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conversation around like traditional modesty, the root of
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it is never actually about how women dress, but rather how men
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are thinking about what a woman is wearing.
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You don't sexualize it, you don't suppress it, you just let
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the perception exist. Admiration without ownership,
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that's what I'm saying. Curiosity without entitle.
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Me, that is discipline. That takes discipline.
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And across the room, she feels something too.
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The quiet awareness. The quiet awareness of being
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seen now. Male center modesty would have
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told her what to do next. That's what I'm about to say.
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Look down, adjust the dress. Shrink the moment.
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Because the system says if men and men react badly, you should
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have predicted it. That's what it teaches women
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every day. But self anchor modesty looks
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different, right? Right.
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Self self anchor modesty does not mean revealing everything.
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It means your choices come from alignment instead of prediction.
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You don't hide because men might react, and you don't perform
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because men might approve. You simply exist in a way that
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feels right to exist. Because that's how it was
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traditionally. And now we have like fresh and
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thick kind of man, the man that nobody really wants, by the way,
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telling women how to dress and telling men how women should
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dress to be high value. Like this is regression before
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our very eyes. And my final point in this
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conversation has to do with what we talked about before is
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specifically getting into why traditionalism and why being a
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tried wife or a traditional woman is so in right now.
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Getting into what the appeal really is, but also why this
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isn't the answer. Because like I was saying
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before, the girlys are up. Women at large are more
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successful and are able to provide for themselves.
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Women excel in academia, they excel in the workplace and
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generally have very fulfilling social lives.
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And in comparison to how modern men are doing, the girlys really
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are up. And it's just interesting to
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note that like, because of the patriarchy and because of like,
17:07
the dying breath of like the old world order where men have
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historically been at the top, it feels like this last wave of
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psychological warfare are trying to convince women at large to
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dampen their own lives and to mute their own success to be
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able to meet men where they are generally and to be subservient
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and traditional to them. Which is crazy to me because,
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for one, we talked about this in like the traditional man video.
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If you truly want a traditional body, you need to be traditional
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yourself. And in this current world,
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that's not very realistic. But like, if you want it to be
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real for you, you got to be really pushing it because the
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competition is stiff. Like the pendulum has fully
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swung from like the 2010's girl boss life to the 2020 Strad
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wife. And that's crazy to me.
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But that also kind of makes sense.
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The trad wife trend is a response to the failed girl boss
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movement of the 2010 S, but maybe not in the way you think.
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The girl boss era was marketed hard to millennial women was
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this entire culture built around.
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You can have it all if you just hustle harder and get like a she
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EO mug. But at its core, girl boss
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feminism pretty much just said, look, white women can patriarchy
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too, while doing nothing to address the systemic barriers
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that prevent women from she EO unpaid labor, a lack of paid
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leave, unaffordable childcare, wage gaps, white supremacy,
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misogynoir, capitalism. So when women inevitably burned
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out, the same system said let's try to sell Gen.
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Z women on the trad wife. Because no shade, I get it.
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Like this current dating pool is so bad I would also turn to
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religious psychosis. But I promise you idealizing the
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nuclear family in the days of times past is not the answer
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because contrary to popular online belief, having a husband,
18:32
a nuclear family and rage and gender roles are not going to
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solve the issue and are not going to save you.
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Like y'all don't want to hear it.
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But all this is directly in line with the make America great
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again sentiments. Like yes, let's go back to a
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time to before when women had choices legally, culturally or
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socially. Like what?
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What are we what are we talking about?
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And speaking generally, this whole conversation around like
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being a traditional man, being a traditional woman is just so sad
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to me because I feel like these conversations really trap people
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in such a binary. And this is where as a queer
18:59
person, a, it's so interesting to witness from an outside
19:02
perspective. Like of course the queer
19:03
community has its own issues when it comes to gender
19:05
expression and gender roles, but like for this traditional push,
19:09
this is mostly a straight person conversation.
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I had, like, a borderline homophobic conversation this
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weekend with these two straight guys who kept trying to, like,
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pry for tragedy. They were like, was it just,
19:19
like, so hard growing up? And I was like, I mean, yeah, my
19:21
parents were conservative, but like, I don't really give a
19:22
fuck. I was like doing what I wanted
19:24
to do by 50. Like no, he was like, is it just
19:27
is it really hard to like find to date?
19:29
And I was like, no, like I get to hook up with people without
19:33
having to take them to dinner. No, it's I have a great time.
19:37
And he was like, but like stability, like can you find?
19:39
And I was. Like, yes, we're talking.
19:41
About human beings, like people want to date, people want to be
19:44
in a relationship. Like it's we're not, we're not a
19:46
different species. Like there are similarities,
19:49
There are differences. And he was like, but does it
19:50
feel like you guys can like, can find a path?
19:52
And I was like, yeah, I was like, I would actually flip it
19:55
and say that like, it's harder for straight people because
19:57
sometimes you guys are on this road and on this track that you
20:00
didn't consent to. There's like a quintessential
20:03
stereotypical American bingo card of like, go to college, but
20:06
get find a partner, get a mortgage, have a baby.
20:08
Like, And then that's why I think so many of these like
20:10
midlife crises happen because these people wake up at 40 and
20:12
they're like, I actually didn't want any of this.
20:14
I just felt compelled to do that.
20:15
And I think this one TikTok does a great job of like explaining
20:18
what I'm kind of talking about here, where it's just like
20:21
really sad to see so many people in times of uncertainty and
20:24
unrest, push so hard for this, like gender Larping, like really
20:29
wanting to play out your gender, being trapped in that binary of
20:32
being like, oh, if I'm a girl, I have to be like this type.
20:34
Or if I'm a guy, I have to be like this, like, free yourself
20:36
from your shackles. People.
20:38
Like everybody needs to get gayer right now.
20:40
Like Jude is almost here. This is your chance.
20:42
Get gayer now computer. Make this one gayer right in
20:47
meow. But in all seriousness, the
20:49
general conversation around traditionalism and around these
20:52
heteronormative ideals for the type of person you should be to
20:56
attract a partner or to have a good quality of life are
20:58
incredibly outdated. And again, I understand why it
21:01
feels like we need to regress in order to meet the times that
21:05
we're living in now, but that's just not the answer.
21:07
Like traditionalism has not saved anyone ever because even
21:11
in those traditional lifestyles, no one generally was happy.
21:15
I mean, maybe the white men were, but nobody else in the
21:18
traditional landscape was truly happy and or had any type of
21:22
autonomy. So while I'm not gonna tell you
21:24
what to do with your life because hey, it's your life, I
21:27
would just advise to take a deeper look into what exactly it
21:30
is that you're looking for in life, why you want what you
21:32
want, and whether or not being a trap, whatever is going to solve
21:36
that for you. Because it's most certainly not
21:38
for me.