Latest / Mathis Family Talks / Our Favorite Moments From the First 10 Episodes | Ep. 11

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Our Favorite Moments From the First 10 Episodes | Ep. 11 · Mathis Family Talks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I'm Judge Greg Mathis.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: And I am Linda Mathis.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Mathis Family.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Talks.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Hello, folks.
• 0:14
  Speaker 4: We made it through our first ten episodes. You learned
• 0:17
  Speaker 4: a lot about our family. So today, we're going to
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: go through some of our favorite moments. Some that we
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: wanted you to see, and some we completely forgot about.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Let's start with this one. Check it out. I have
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: a question.
• 0:31
  Speaker 5: Who had it the hardest growing up?
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: Me.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Me, for sure.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: Me.
• 0:37
  Speaker 5: Me.
• 0:39
  Speaker 6: Well, I had an easy breezy upbringing.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, you said upbringing.
• 0:45
  Speaker 5: We're talking about with him, with these crooks.
• 0:47
  Speaker 6: Oh, with these people?
• 0:49
  Speaker 7: I would say I had it the hardest, for sure.
• 0:51
  Speaker 7: I became a mom at the age of two years old.
• 0:54
  Speaker 7: How would you feel if you had.
• 0:56
  Speaker 6: To raise two bad boys?
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: No, she had to raise y'all.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Taking care of you guys.
• 1:03
  Speaker 6: She took that upon herself.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: No, it was my responsibility. I agree with you. I
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: agree with you, Bobby. She took it upon herself.
• 1:12
  Speaker 6: Because mom was there.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: I know, but she didn't get at an inside scoop.
• 1:16
  Speaker 7: I used to hear the stuff and I had to
• 1:18
  Speaker 7: go follow y'all around and make sure y'all were safe.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: And I had to go tell on y'all if y'all weren't.
• 1:21
  Speaker 7: It was just.
• 1:22
  Speaker 8: Really?
• 1:23
  Speaker 6: It's more to the point.
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: Can you imagine growing up with a mom and then
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: a wannabe mom that told on you and tried to
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: tell you what to do?
• 1:35
  Speaker 7: Can you imagine how many times I saved your life
• 1:37
  Speaker 7: and how responsible I've gone?
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: Come on now, y'all got to tell me some of this.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: What did you protect them from?
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: That's all right. I let it stay in the past.
• 1:49
  Speaker 5: That was our first episode. And as you see, everybody
• 1:52
  Speaker 5: thought they had it the hardest in the family growing up.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Who do you think had it the hardest growing up?
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Who do I think had it the hardest growing up?
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: Hmm.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: They all had it pretty easy to me.
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's go to the next clip.
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: This has been my approach. One, family and close friends.
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: I'll give you half of what you asked for. And
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: don't y'all ask me for $ 1, 000 thinking that you're going
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: to get $ 500.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: So I need $ 2, 000. So I'm going to ask you
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: for $ 4, 000.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: To borrow $ 4, 000.
• 2:27
  Speaker 5: Yes, I'm going.
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: To ask you to borrow $ 4, 000. I'll get my $ 2, 000.
• 2:32
  Speaker 5: You didn't gave.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Away your money.
• 2:33
  Speaker 6: I know, you gave away all your tactics on this podcast.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: So everybody knows now what to look for with you.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: He give everybody money.
• 2:40
  Speaker 6: That's true.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: But I only give him $ 50, 000. $ 50, 000 gets $ 25, 000. And
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: it's always a gift.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: That's a good thing.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Always a gift, right? Uh-huh. Don't have to pay it back.
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: In fact, that's what I'm going to do.
• 2:54
  Speaker 6: He said he's going to pay it. I'm not paying
• 2:56
  Speaker 6: my mortgage.
• 2:57
  Speaker 9: I'm going to say I got three months back.
• 2:59
  Speaker 6: You help me with this mortgage before my house gets
• 3:02
  Speaker 6: worked over.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: He always help his children.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Y'all got it made.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: All you got to do is ask for more. Ask
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: for double what you need.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I can go on that trip after all.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Now that everybody knows your strategy, have you changed it?
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Now what's your new strategy?
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: Tell everybody I spent up all the money. We don't
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: have any money no more.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: That means you're just going to say no. No is
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: the answer.
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: He has no money, and no is the answer.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Well, we saw how you loan money.
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: So let's check out and see how Kamara with low
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: money without shaming somebody.
• 3:41
  Speaker 7: Saying no should still feel like love. It can still
• 3:44
  Speaker 7: come from a loving place. You don't have to say
• 3:46
  Speaker 7: it in a demeaning way or a judgmental way. It
• 3:51
  Speaker 7: can come with no, but I have these other options.
• 3:53
  Speaker 7: I can help you this way. Let's figure out some skills.
• 3:56
  Speaker 7: I can help you Try to make some money. I
• 3:58
  Speaker 7: can give you some ideas. I can review some agreements
• 4:01
  Speaker 7: for you. I can help you in other ways. But
• 4:04
  Speaker 7: I still love you. Can't give you any money, though.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: You always called her a money grubber, didn't you?
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: That's right. She's a money grubber.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: She said, I can give you a lot of things,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: but it's not going to be money.
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: And now that I'm not giving out money, I don't
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: have any more money to give out. I'm going to
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: borrow her philosophy. And that's just the other ways I
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: can help you.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: Well, we know now that's just your strategy. Yeah, I
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: think my strategy was the best. I'm going to give
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: them what I can. And no, they don't have to
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: have it.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to take it back.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: You can't take it back. You just use the word give.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: And as a lawyer, I have.
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: To tell you that give and loan are two different things.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: I'm going to give them the loan. Give them the loan.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: And so when it's time to repay and they say, hey, Linda,
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: here's your money, I'm going to be that nice person
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: to say, just keep it.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Keep it.
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: Let me think then. I've got to figure that out legally.
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: If you already intend to tell them to keep it,
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: Why is it a loan in the first place?
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Because when it matured, I dismissed the loan.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: You're a good finance company. Can I borrow a few thousand?
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Yes, you may.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Go dismiss it.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: But you know what?
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: I only give people money when they have paid back
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: or attempted to pay back everything I have given them
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: in the past.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: You know what you did to me when I loaned
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: you that money.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, we were 19. I was 19, 20 years old.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: So you're trying to say loans are dismissed?
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: If you don't file your claim in time, yes. Let's
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: check out what she talking about. My best friend's parents
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: who worked at the factory gave me a card. I
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: remember that. And no one else gave me a dime
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: in college my entire life.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: He forgot about that loan. He forgot about that loan
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I gave you.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: You and I don't exchange loans.
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: You were my boyfriend then.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: He forgot about that.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: I think he remembers. Maybe that's why all this is
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: here now. How about that time? It was about $ 1, 200.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: I want to know what this loan was for. That
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: was a lot. Yeah, whoa.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: That is a lot of money. I don't believe that.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I don't believe that. You cleared out your savings. What
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: did I need it for?
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: What did I need it for? I can't see it
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: on camera. I got to go. I'm off the camera.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: I got to go.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I forgot that.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: You definitely got that back.
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: I tripled my money.
• 6:33
  Speaker 10: What?
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Let's move right along.
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: So you pretended like you forgot about that long.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: No, I didn't forget. I just didn't want to discuss it.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: I want to tell everybody that was my summer savings
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: when I was a college student.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Don't tell them the purpose, please.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Booty shots, baby. That what you needed?
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: I think we didn't give her booty shots in the 80s.
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: I mean, when we first met, hey, I hustled you.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: No, you didn't hustle me. Let's check out the clip
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: and see who you hustled. So you went down into
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: the student union, and we proceeded to come down there
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: after you were down there, and you had already gathered
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: some people around, playing this three-card molly, or you were
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: trying to, and he walked up, oh, I'm going to play,
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: I'm going to play.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: And, of course, he did what?
• 7:28
  Speaker 6: Win.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: That was part of the con. He was winning.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: But my friend that I was with was from Flint, Michigan.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: And she was, you are cheating.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: You guys know each other. And she flipped over the card.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: And you weren't too nice to her afterwards. Yep, yep.
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: And that's what really began our friendship, relationship, love, and marriage.
• 7:55
  Speaker 11: You know, I got to hop in. What was your
• 7:57
  Speaker 11: first impression of each other when you first met?
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: My first impression wasn't too good. I said, you telling this,
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: telling my friend off?
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: And he got really upset.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: I said, I don't know what he's doing up here.
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: I'm sure he's not a college student.
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: And you should have respected the fact that I was
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: a thug lookalike.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, I look like a thug.
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: It was acting like a thug and a hustler.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: And I'm in college.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: But you didn't know I was in college at that time.
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: It wasn't until you found out I attended there.
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: I assume that any student up there or any person
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: up there walking around on the campus was in school.
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: But come to find out, you were a student.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: So what point did you realize that I was hustling
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: them people?
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: Oh, when I saw your friend and that you two
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: knew each other.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes.
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: How did you tell we knew each other?
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: That game was going all wrong.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: Everybody knows when people walk up and they start to win,
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: and then your.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Boy was winning. That's what it was. Your boy was winning.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: Then he stepped back and let other people, and that's
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: when they started to lose.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Hustle, hustle, hustle.
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: I just mean they got bad luck.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Not hustled.
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: Well, both.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: They got bad luck and got hustled.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: Like I said, I'm just glad I didn't participate.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Check out this next clip.
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: This is where I talk about I got a little
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: emotional to really the episode. I was I was talking
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: about how I really didn't give you what you need
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: and still working on that throughout our marriage. I mean,
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: I didn't learn much about how to treat a woman.
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: And how to serve a woman's needs, not having a dad,
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: not having a sister, not seeing dads, etc. Every excuse
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: in the world, but I should have known by now.
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: Let's check it out. I looked at marriage less of
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: let's stay connected, but more of let's move forward. This
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: is all about a family unit moving forward and raising
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: a great family and providing and counseling and those things
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: and disciplining. And instead of saying I spent less time saying,
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: focus it on our marriage. That's what I think that
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: I failed to deliver on. I don't think I gave
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: you what you needed.
• 10:35
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: Was it harder for you to say that then on
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: tape or is it harder for you to watch it now?
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: No, it was much harder to say it on tape
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: in front of my children.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: Because that kind of says that you shortchanged my mom.
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: So that was a hard admission. Still is. Just got
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: to keep working.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so glad you got it together, though.
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Or we got it together.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's important.
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: I'm still working on opening the doors to the car
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: on time. I asked somebody the other day, I said,
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: so what if the woman, I swear to God, I said,
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: so what if the woman realized walk is ahead of
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: you and is about to get to the door do
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: you run and open it or if she beats you
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: to the door what do you do I say and
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: then how about when you're going in the restaurant if
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: you're walking if they're walking first and they grab the
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: door do you rush up and grab the door and
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: pull it while they already have what do you do
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: when they make it to the place.
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: First we all appreciate intention All right. So intention means, hey,
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: let me get that for you.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, all right. Run up and get the door.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: I did not know.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: Let me get that.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: See, I didn't know that. So intention is good. Okay,
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: run up and do it. Okay.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Then, you know, I'll think, my man wants to open
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: the door for me.
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: Let's go to our next episode where we had a guest,
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: LaTosha Gillespie, with us.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: And she talked about code switching.
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: And she talked about her experience as being portrayed as
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: the angry black woman in the corporate world.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: And then at Amazon, code switched early on in my career.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: And I remember the pivotal moment when I stopped. It
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: was a moment where I was having to have a
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: hard conversation with a leader, my leader, my boss. And
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: it was one of those conversations where I was like,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: this is going to be hard. But it's one of
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: those opportunities where I was like, I have to speak
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: truth to power.
• 12:36
  Speaker 12: Right.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: And so I want to be graceful about it. I
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: want to be respectful about it. I've practiced it. You know,
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: I've thought about the tone. I've thought about the words.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: I've thought about the volume. So I'm in the office
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: having the conversation and it's a tough conversation and the
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: leader is not really accepting of it.
• 12:50
  Speaker 12: Right.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: And, but, but I'm standing on my truth, very respectful, again,
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: very mindful of all of these things. You know, I
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: know I have colleagues outside the door, so I'm even
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: keeping the volume down and, you know, and the meeting
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: is starting to run over. And I remember her saying, well,
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: you know, I'm really, yeah, well, that's not what I meant.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: And I said, respectfully, I understand that was not your intention,
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: but I need you to understand that it was the impact, right?
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: And I said, I want to be respectful of my
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: colleagues because I know they've been waiting outside the door.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: They have a meeting with you, so we can pick
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: it back up later.
• 13:21
  Speaker 6: And I leave.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Later on, I guess she came looking for me, and
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: I had already left for the day. And she sends
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: me an email. She's like, I was thinking about our conversation,
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: and I wanted to pick it up after you stormed
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: out of my office.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: I can't tell you what the rest of the email
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: said because I stopped and stormed out of my house.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Stormed. And so much self-control that you probably had when
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: you were there. You're like, you haven't seen stormed. You
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: know what I mean?
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: But it clicked for me in that moment that this person,
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: I had been placating. I had been soft shoeing. I
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: hadn't been holding them accountable for the things that, you know,
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: in the position I was in, I was trying to
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: get them to come along and be a better advocate for,
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: you know, And I wasn't really holding their feet to
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: the fire like I really should have.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Just trying to build a relationship.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: And slowly bring them in. But I realized in that moment,
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: it doesn't matter what I do. This person's always going
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: to see me as an angry black woman unless I
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: agree with everything they say and do. And I said,
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: now I'm mad at them for not being able to
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: see me.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: And I'm mad at me.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: I'm mad at me for being something that wasn't authentic
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: to who I was. Placating you all this time. I said,
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: I know what's going to happen from here on out.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be mad at one of us and
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: it ain't going to be me. And from that moment,
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: that changed everything. And when I tell you, one of
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: my coworkers laughs at me because I walked out. Look,
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: after that incident, when they saw me in the office again,
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: I had crochets in my hair.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Listen, I'm done. I'm done.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: But when I tell you I had the Super Bowl
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: in my career after that, I mean, Super Bowl of
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: my career. I wrote the first strategy doc for Amazon
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: that Jeff Bezos blessed. We hosted this conference at Amazon
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: called Core Conversations on Race and Ethnicity. This was right
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: after Philando Castile and.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: Sandra Bland had got killed and we had this amazing
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: two-day conference.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, it was awesome.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: It was like thing after thing was happening at the
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: highest level of excellence. And I realized how much energy
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: I had been putting into code switching or trying to
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: be pleasing to someone else. And that's energy I could
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: have been putting towards solving real problems, figuring out how
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: we were going to win over more customers. How do
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: we make this business run smoother? And that's the thing
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: people don't understand, the difference between doing it to build
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: bridges and doing it when it's a trauma response.
• 15:48
  Speaker 12: Right?
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: Because one is depleting you of energy that could be
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: used for better purposes.
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: And that's what you felt.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: That's very interesting.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: That was a powerful moment.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: You think people can be strategic at work without shrinking themselves?
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: I would hope so.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: A lot of times we have to do that, but
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I guess I just make them laugh.
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: So it's not about you shrinking yourself.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: You come alive.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: In order to bring them in.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Good way to say it.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: Excellent way to say that.
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: Let's check out this moment about Amir. It's a moment
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: we never knew about.
• 16:23
  Speaker 11: Because we moved from a 99% black school in Detroit.
• 16:28
  Speaker 11: And when I was in fifth grade, Greg was in sixth.
• 16:30
  Speaker 11: So middle school was a little bit more diverse. I
• 16:32
  Speaker 11: was the only black child in my entire elementary school.
• 16:36
  Speaker 11: And I remember the first day of school, I told
• 16:38
  Speaker 11: this girl, I won't say her name, let's say LS.
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: She knows who she might be.
• 16:42
  Speaker 11: But it's fifth grade. It's one of those moments that
• 16:44
  Speaker 11: stick with you. And she said, oh, where do you live?
• 16:48
  Speaker 11: And I said, oh, I live... I told her where
• 16:50
  Speaker 11: we live. We had a really prominent home on the hill.
• 16:54
  Speaker 11: And she said, you don't live there.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah, I do.
• 16:57
  Speaker 11: And she said, no, there's no way you could live there.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 17:01
  Speaker 11: And I thought about it. And I was like, oh,
• 17:04
  Speaker 11: she's saying that because I'm different. I didn't quantify it down,
• 17:09
  Speaker 11: but I'm different. Because I look around, everyone's white and
• 17:12
  Speaker 11: Jewish and things like that. And so I remember that's
• 17:15
  Speaker 11: when my code switching kind of started. because in my
• 17:19
  Speaker 11: mind I said, well, what I'm going to do is
• 17:23
  Speaker 11: I'm going to make it so I'm not as different
• 17:28
  Speaker 11: anywhere that I go. I don't want to be different
• 17:31
  Speaker 11: anymore because that didn't make me feel good. But you
• 17:34
  Speaker 11: all did a great job because then you adapted.
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: I'm still shocked and I was sad to hear that
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: because I just never knew.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy the.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: Show brings out things that we didn't realize happened, you know, because.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: It can help other people that are watching.
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: I've been trying to tell y'all about these racist white folks. No,
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: I'm just kidding. A lot of it is socioeconomic that's
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: tied in the race. And in this case, I think
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: that most white folks don't know haven't seen many black
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: folks with two nickels to put together. So when they
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: see it, it's kind of surprising. And then when your
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: house is bigger than everybody's in the community, it's unbelievable.
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: It's no longer just surprising. It's unbelievable. That's what I
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: think happened. Let's check out this other clip of Amir
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: where we also learn something new.
• 18:24
  Speaker 11: I remember you always say, like, don't subside by peer pressure.
• 18:28
  Speaker 11: And I always laugh at that because... I always wanted
• 18:31
  Speaker 11: to be like, I am the pressure.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I'm serious. I never felt peer pressure.
• 18:37
  Speaker 11: I was always in control of what I did and
• 18:42
  Speaker 11: who I hung out with. Because people offered an opportunity
• 18:46
  Speaker 11: and I made a decision to do it. I never
• 18:48
  Speaker 11: felt like, oh, my friends won't like me if I
• 18:51
  Speaker 11: don't do that. It was more so like, if you
• 18:55
  Speaker 11: guys went out of town, I wanted to throw a party.
• 18:58
  Speaker 11: But I'm not saying at that party I wanted to
• 19:00
  Speaker 11: do drugs because I made those decisions not to do
• 19:03
  Speaker 11: those things.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: But it was more so like... And tell me if
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I'm wrong because I may, you know.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: You were the life of the party.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: And so that's a dangerous thing when you always feel
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: you have to be the life of the party. And
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: that's what scared me about you. You always had to
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: be the life of the party. You didn't want to
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: miss out on anything. If it was no party, you
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: were going to make a party. So therefore, every time
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: we left, you were making a party. It was all
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: about your friends and entertaining your friends. And that's what
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: scared me the most.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: Because that's where I felt pressure came in.
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: Did you realize that he was leading the crowd and
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: wasn't just following the crowd? He was leading like his daddy?
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: Well, if you knew Amir back then, and still to
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: this day, he's the life of the party.
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: That's right.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: And he's the leader now, telling everybody. what to do.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: Including you and including me.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: He sure is.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: Also in this episode, Greg brought up the elevator theory,
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: which I thought was so wise about how you choose
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: your friends.
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: I don't remember that.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Check it out.
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: Let me see.
• 20:07
  Speaker 9: When I first moved out to Los Angeles from D.C.,
• 20:11
  Speaker 9: working in politics, entertainment, I had a good friend out
• 20:14
  Speaker 9: here because I was having trouble figuring out who I
• 20:16
  Speaker 9: could trust, who I could work with and feel safe with.
• 20:19
  Speaker 9: And he told me, look, Greg, at the end of
• 20:21
  Speaker 9: the day, he gave me the concept of elevators. And
• 20:23
  Speaker 9: what he said is that you got your friends, you
• 20:26
  Speaker 9: got your associates. Picture yourself as a building. And on
• 20:30
  Speaker 9: the ground floor, you got a lobby. Most people can
• 20:33
  Speaker 9: come in, almost everybody. Say you got 10 floors. Start
• 20:37
  Speaker 9: marking where those people are on those floors. That 10th
• 20:39
  Speaker 9: floor of the penthouse is your very cherished, your most
• 20:44
  Speaker 9: cherished assets. Only your best, closest friends get that. And
• 20:48
  Speaker 9: you got all these levels below that. that certain people
• 20:52
  Speaker 9: can access and you determine where those people are on
• 20:54
  Speaker 9: those levels to keep yourself safe.
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: After 10 episodes, has anybody moved up or down on
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: your elevator?
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Always.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: I'm in the basement where I'm in the basement now.
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: On this next clip, we see Jade giving us advice
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: on how to check in on her because every family
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: needs a check-in and hers is pretty unique Check it out.
• 21:22
  Speaker 10: No, if you need anything. And a lot of times people,
• 21:25
  Speaker 10: you can tell that it's time or they're in a
• 21:27
  Speaker 10: space where maybe therapy may be the best option for them,
• 21:30
  Speaker 10: but they don't know where to start. Because if you're
• 21:32
  Speaker 10: already feeling pretty low and you already only have this
• 21:35
  Speaker 10: much energy to get you through a full day, the
• 21:37
  Speaker 10: last thing you have energy to do is go online
• 21:39
  Speaker 10: and look online for someone to help you. So I've
• 21:41
  Speaker 10: done that with several friends. You know, I'll say, give
• 21:44
  Speaker 10: me your insurance information. I'll go online and find you
• 21:46
  Speaker 10: a therapist and book an appointment. So all you have
• 21:48
  Speaker 10: to do is show up. I'll take that type of initiative.
• 21:51
  Speaker 10: But letting them kind of come to you and tell
• 21:53
  Speaker 10: you when they're not well or just dropping food. I
• 21:56
  Speaker 10: tell people, too, all my all my close friends know,
• 21:58
  Speaker 10: don't you keep calling me. Don't you knock on that
• 22:00
  Speaker 10: door because the phone is probably turned off. Don't come
• 22:02
  Speaker 10: but leave some food outside. And then you text me
• 22:04
  Speaker 10: afterwards and tell me it is some food outside. And
• 22:07
  Speaker 10: I will snatch my food in like the movies. And
• 22:09
  Speaker 10: I would just, you know, basking whatever I'm feeling at
• 22:12
  Speaker 10: that point. But I think best is leaving people alone
• 22:14
  Speaker 10: because you still want them to feel human and not abnormal,
• 22:17
  Speaker 10: you know, while they're going through what they're going through.
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: You know, that's a good way to approach Jade because
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: we know how she's always been. And as she said,
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: if she don't pick up, don't keep calling me. Just
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: send me some food and be quiet. And that's understandable.
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: Everybody has their own. approach to that.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: What do they call it now? Seeking their peace?
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: And seeking my peace occurs when y'all put me out
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: of the room. So that's how you check on me.
• 22:47
  Speaker 5: You put me out and say, now, are you all right?
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: Well, this is a funny episode about raising kids during
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: the era of AI and the crazy thing that Amir did.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Let's check it out.
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: Adult son, Amir so much so, he and I took
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: a picture.
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: With Hillary Clinton together. And the picture was fine. He, myself,
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: and Hillary in the middle, like people take pictures. But
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: next thing I know, that same picture where we were
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: just standing there posing, he has her turn her face
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: to me and looks up and we talked kiss.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I put- Hey, let's say he kissed you on the cheek.
• 23:29
  Speaker 6: Let's say he kissed you on the cheek.
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: No, you was making it appear to this as if
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: she was looking up and kissing me and we met lips,
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: we kissed.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: And you thought that you actually did it. No, I
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: didn't think- You said, when did that happen?
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: That's exactly what he said.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: My mom wouldn't talk to him no more. Bill sent
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: the strike squad to the house. It was terrible. That
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: was funny. I got to figure this AI stuff out.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: This is interesting.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: I'm still trying to figure out whether that was a
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: true episode.
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: You're right.
• 24:04
  Speaker 8: That was AI all together.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: I seen the lean in, so I'm not so sure.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: I'm going to learn me some AI because I'm going
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: to get my enemies. And that's an easy way to
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: both get your enemies get sued and or go to jail.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: So I won't do that.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: You might get all three.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: I won't be doing that. So I won't be doing
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: that and neither should you all. You know, with all
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: the stuff that's going around, AI, fraud, everything else, there's
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: some things we discussed about how to prepare your family
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: for fraud. Let's look and see. Families and parents, we
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: have a code. We have a family code that if
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: someone calls with some emergency that involves money, then we say,
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: what's the code? So how can you instruct families and
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: others to avoid being defrauded?
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: I think that's a great idea right there.
• 24:53
  Speaker 12: I think that is the number one thing that you
• 24:54
  Speaker 12: can do. Now, keep in mind, like I said, they
• 24:57
  Speaker 12: are watching. Somebody could find out that code, crack it,
• 25:01
  Speaker 12: But switch it up, keep it fresh, you know, like
• 25:04
  Speaker 12: maybe change it every three months and have like a
• 25:07
  Speaker 12: family meeting. Like this is our new phrase. This is
• 25:09
  Speaker 12: our new code. Or, you know, ask me about a
• 25:12
  Speaker 12: certain topic and then I will know if it's really you.
• 25:15
  Speaker 12: So I think that's a great idea.
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: Like our guest Erin said, it might be time for
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: us to update that family code.
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: I agree totally. And I say it should be 6284.
• 25:25
  Speaker 5: That's the family code.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let everybody know. That's right.
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: I forgot. Now I want to see the clip that
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: we had of the episode with Val Young, Lady D
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: from Mary Jane Girls.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: I really want to see what she... What did she say?
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Something about Rick James.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: That was the interesting part.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: She told us some fun things about him.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's see what she said.
• 25:47
  Speaker 6: Rick James.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: I met Rick.
• 25:48
  Speaker 8: James at the Mid-South Coliseum in Memphis, Tennessee. I kept
• 25:53
  Speaker 8: hearing about this guy, you and I, Mary Jane.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: So.
• 25:58
  Speaker 8: I'm determined with my fast self.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I said, I'm going to see who Rick James.
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: Is.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: The security at first wouldn't let me see him. I said,
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: I'm here to see Rick James. I was sharp.
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: I own a black hat. I own a cat suit.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: I know that's right.
• 26:16
  Speaker 6: Oh, yeah.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Got to get your back.
• 26:17
  Speaker 6: I said, I'm ready to see Rick James.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: And they wouldn't let me.
• 26:20
  Speaker 8: They was like, no, you're not going to. And I
• 26:22
  Speaker 8: stood right there. I didn't go anywhere. Rick stuck his
• 26:26
  Speaker 8: head out the door. And when he stuck his head
• 26:29
  Speaker 8: out the door, I said, you. I said, I'm here
• 26:31
  Speaker 8: to see you. He said, why aren't you in here?
• 26:34
  Speaker 8: I said, your security won't let me near you. He
• 26:37
  Speaker 8: told security, let her in here.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Did she say he was wearing a catsuit?
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: Yes, she said it. But hey, both of them are lively,
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: colorful people. Rick was a mess. in a good way.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: One of my favorites.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: And Val is the.
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: Most colorful, loud-talking person you know.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: That's Detroit.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: And that's why she's our dear friend.
• 26:58
  Speaker 12: Yes.
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: And she also said that the man liked feet, that
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: he liked his toes such.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, she did say that.
• 27:06
  Speaker 8: Oh, my goodness.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: And then we tried to pin it down, and.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: That's because she didn't know. No, she didn't get her sucked,
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: but she... Somebody did.
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: Oh, Rick James. Ain't no telling. Hey, those were the
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: least of his freaky things.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: No, I'm just kidding. God bless you, Rick.
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: But you know, you like to have you some fun.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Let's check it out.
• 27:27
  Speaker 11: Said that her and her friends used to suck Rick
• 27:30
  Speaker 11: James toes.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: Not me. What was the story? I said he asked
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: my friend.
• 27:35
  Speaker 8: Y'all going up too far now.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: That was a private conversation. Was it meant for Eric?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: He's got it confused. My friend, he asked her. She's
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: sitting over there.
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: He asked her.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Did she set the tone? She said... She cursed him.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: She said, hell no. Who does that?
• 27:58
  Speaker 6: Oh, there's a market for that.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: That's a thing.
• 27:59
  Speaker 6: Oh, hell no. People, oh my goodness, there's a fetish
• 28:04
  Speaker 6: for it.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: There is a fetish about that. That was the moment
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: I knew we had lost control of the show.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Talking about feet, sucking toes and all that.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: Time to rewind now. On our last episode, we had Delise.
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: She used to be the vice president of Mathis Productions
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: with Teller Pictures, Warner Brothers. And she talked about, remember
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: how there's a black tax that our community has to
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: pay in our dealings out here in Hollywood, meaning we
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: got to work harder and work more to get an
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: equal opportunity. But let's see what she was saying.
• 28:43
  Speaker 13: Also, just add to that, like when I first started,
• 28:46
  Speaker 13: at HBO, CBS, and Fox. I was the first one in,
• 28:51
  Speaker 13: the last one out. I was answering emails at midnight
• 28:53
  Speaker 13: and 1 a.m. Because it's like, you're trying to, and especially, right,
• 28:57
  Speaker 13: it's the black tax. You have to stand out and
• 29:00
  Speaker 13: be excellent and be better and more available than everybody else.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: And so that was my motto.
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: Unfortunately, those were some powerful words, but that's our reality.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is.
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: That's why it's always good to stay in the struggle
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: for equity and justice and equal opportunity. Always.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: Constant fight.
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: Because trying to get that black tax off our back,
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: because that's racism in and of itself. A black tax
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: means we have to do more to be equal to
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: those who do less. That's the point of that. And
• 29:33
  Speaker 5: she hit it right on the head when it comes
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: to Hollywood and most industries, that is the case.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: But that's all right.
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: Just make.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: us better make you work a little harder that's.
• 29:42
  Speaker 5: Right when you take us through that fire and you
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: put that pressure on us when we come out on
• 29:47
  Speaker 5: the other end we're glistening gold and diamonds and so
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: let us go on through the fire that's alright y'all
• 29:54
  Speaker 5: keep the pressure.
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: On looking back at these first 10 episodes What I
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: did learn is that you guys don't have a problem
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: telling my business.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: What about my business?
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: Hey, and I tell all of our business every day
• 30:07
  Speaker 5: on Judge Matthews' show.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: I was getting ready to say your business is already
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: out there.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: There's nothing new. I tell yours, too.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: But as a family, had a great time doing it.
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: What I like about this show is that we can laugh,
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: we can talk about each other, tell stories from the past,
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: and just have a nice family fun time. And at
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: the end of the day, we're still family.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Still family.
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: And hopefully, some of these conversations will make you think
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: about your own family, and it might be some conversations
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: that you've been putting off that you might want to
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: have now.
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: Don't be scared. We're only 10 episodes in, and we
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: got a whole lot more to talk about.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Apparently.
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: A lot more of my business you want to expose.
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: We'll see. Thank you all for spending this first 10
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: episodes with us.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: From our couch to yours, thank you, thank you, thank you.
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: See you next time on the Mathis Table Talks. See
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: you next time on Mathis Family Talks. So we hope
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: you guys have enjoyed these episodes and we'd like for
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: you to push like and subscribe so that we can
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: expand this bandwidth and others can join you and find
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: out what they're missing.