Latest / Welcome to The Vineyard Podcast with Montoya Williams / “Wouldn’t It Be Nice to Finally Feel Emotionally Safe Instead of Emotionally Confused in Love?” | Christian Relationship Advice, Emotionally Unavailable Relationships & Healing Through Christ | Season 5 Ep 6

Transcript

“Wouldn’t It Be Nice to Finally Feel Emotionally Safe Instead of Emotionally Confused in Love?” | Christian Relationship Advice, Emotionally Unavailable Relationships & Healing Through Christ | Season 5 Ep 6 · Welcome to The Vineyard Podcast with Montoya Williams

• 0:00
  Welcome to the Vineyard Podcast, where hurt, identity in Christ becomes the foundation for a healthy Christ-centered relationship.
• 0:09
  Hi, love.
• 0:11
  If this is your first time here, I welcome you.
• 0:15
  And before we start, we always begin by inviting God into the conversation.
• 0:21
  So, Lord, thank you.
• 0:24
  Thank you for this day.
• 0:26
  Thank you for this opportunity to share a message from you.
• 0:30
  I ask that you will anoint my voice to speak what needs to be spoken.
• 0:39
  And then, Lord, I ask that you bless our ears to hear what needs to be heard.
• 0:47
  And Lord, I'm asking these prayers and these blessings in your name, Jesus Christ, amen.
• 0:55
  Ah.
• 0:57
  Hi, love.
• 0:59
  I am so grateful for the hearts that God has led here today.
• 1:03
  On last week inside the Vineyard, we talked about emotional exhaustion The kind of exhaustion that happens when women spend years emotionally carrying relationships.
• 1:19
  I'm talking about shrinking themselves, settling emotionally, silencing themselves, and surviving relationships that no longer feel safe And after last week's conversation, I really wanna go deeper into what causes women to become this emotionally exhausted in the first place Women have spent so much time trying to decode mixed signals.
• 2:04
  So they no longer recognize what healthy love is supposed to feel like I'm talking one day he's consistent The next day, he disappears emotionally One moment you feel chosen and the next moment you feel anxious Whoo, and now suddenly your peace depends on whether someone else emotionally shows up for you today And love that within itself sounds exhausting.
• 2:54
  I don't even wanna imagine how it feels.
• 2:59
  Because confusion was really never meant to be the foundation of love at all According to the Bible God is not the author of confusion But a peace.
• 3:23
  That's the word So if confusion keeps increasing, if anxiety keeps increasing, if emotional instability keeps increasing, maybe your spirit has been trying to reveal something, your emotions keep trying to survive And I know this conversation may be just a bit uncomfortable.
• 3:54
  Because many women are not emotionally attached to the relationship.
• 3:59
  They're emotionally attached to the hope of who the person could become who the person was or appeared to be at one time in their relationship.
• 4:14
  You know, when the relationships first start, oh, they start off so good.
• 4:21
  But as time progress, sometimes the relationship changes.
• 4:29
  But I feel that women Sometimes overthink, they analyze, they make excuses shrink and emotionally survive relationships that have never truly felt safe from the beginning And meanwhile, the spirit becomes exhausted year after year Honestly, love, some women have become so emotionally familiar with inconsistency that peace now feels totally unfamiliar So unfamiliar that when someone communicates clearly, shows up consistently, and creates emotional safety, it almost feels strange And it feels strange because the chaos has become normal But love, healthy love should not constantly leave you feeling confused about where you stand in the relationship Healthy love communicates.
• 6:13
  Healthy love brings consistency.
• 6:17
  Healthy love creates emotional safety.
• 6:20
  Healthy love does not require you to abandon your peace to keep the relationship alive And maybe that's why you've been exhausted Not because you're hard to love, but because you've been trying to build peace inside emotionally inconsistent situations And I want you to hear me clearly Wanting honesty, wanting consistency, wanting communication and emotional safety is not asking for too much.
• 7:14
  It's not.
• 7:16
  You may have simply been asking the wrong person So today, instead of asking,"Why can't I get them to love me correctly?" Maybe ask,"Why have I been settling for confusion that keeps disturbing my peace?" Because sometimes clarity begins the moment honesty does And sometimes, love, if I can be real honest with you Sometimes our partners react to the reactions within us So sometimes we need to change so that we can allow others room and space to change And sometimes change is just not The answer.
• 8:41
  And then we go back to maybe You just simply have been asking for honesty, consistency, communication, and emotional safety from the wrong person So with that being said, let's pray together Lord, thank you for every woman listening right now.
• 9:17
  Thank you for the places where you've been protecting her, even when she didn't fully understand what you were revealing.
• 9:28
  Help her stop normalizing confusion.
• 9:32
  Help her stop abandoning herself trying to keep the relationships alive, and help her to recognize the kind of love that reflects peace, clarity, honesty, and emotional safety, God.
• 9:51
  Lord, please remind her that healthy love should never require her to lose herself emotionally to keep the relationship alive And Lord, give us the strength to heal so we can show up better for ourselves and everyone else In Jesus' name I ask and pray these prayers.
• 10:26
  Amen.
• 10:28
  Love, if this episode spoke directly to your heart, stay close Because in the next episode, we're going deeper into what happens when women slowly abandon themselves emotionally trying to keep love.
• 10:49
  And once you recognize it, you'll begin to understand why so many women feel emotionally drained inside relationships.
• 11:01
  So until next time, I encourage you to stay anchored in Christ and covered in love, and we'll chat again soon