Latest / soulful biz guidance / people are possibility

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people are possibility · soulful biz guidance

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SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to a new episode of Whispers of Inner Power.
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SPEAKER_00: Today I'm joined by Rachel Andreoli.
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SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for joining us.
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SPEAKER_00: Rachel, can you tell us a bit more about you and what you do?
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SPEAKER_01: Hi, thank you for having me.
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SPEAKER_01: This is exciting.
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SPEAKER_01: This is my first one.
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SPEAKER_01: I own Andreoli Strategies.
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I do training and personal development in the area of
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relational intelligence.
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SPEAKER_01: So I help teams and organizations build social wealth and work on what is
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SPEAKER_01: traditionally known as soft skills,
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but is becoming more important in an era where machines can do
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a lot of what humans
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SPEAKER_01: can do,
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SPEAKER_01: except be human.
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SPEAKER_00: I love that.
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SPEAKER_00: I love what you just said.
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SPEAKER_00: There's so many people that are freaking out with AI replacing us.
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SPEAKER_00: And I love what you're saying that they cannot be human.
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SPEAKER_00: They can't do that.
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SPEAKER_00: So we need to be more human.
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SPEAKER_00: Yes.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
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SPEAKER_01: Multiple ways.
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SPEAKER_00: In multiple ways, yes.
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SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for joining us today.
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You've shared with us a beautiful written interview that if
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you're watching this
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SPEAKER_00: video,
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I'll link to it under the YouTube part so that you can have a
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look at it on
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SPEAKER_00: Substack.
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You told us in this interview that you were a stay-at-home mom
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for your son's whole life
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And then he approached graduation and that's when something
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shifted for you.
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SPEAKER_00: Can you take us back there?
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SPEAKER_01: Sure.
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SPEAKER_01: My son is now 21.
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SPEAKER_01: So this was three years ago, pushing four years ago.
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And I realized that at some point I was going to have to do
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something different,
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SPEAKER_01: become someone different.
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I've bumbled around a lot in the last couple of years trying to
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figure out who that
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would be but trying to figure out the through line from who I
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want to be to who I
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was and for me that through line happens to be connecting
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people and it took me
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SPEAKER_01: quite some time to figure that out a lot of searching and
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SPEAKER_01: Therapy and all the things,
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SPEAKER_01: but the main thing that I feel is my superpower is connecting people.
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SPEAKER_00: How did you discover that?
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SPEAKER_00: I mean, you said therapy, but how did that show up for you?
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SPEAKER_01: So this is going to sound a little weird, but bear with me.
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SPEAKER_01: I read a lot.
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SPEAKER_01: I read a lot, a lot.
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SPEAKER_01: And I came across this guy.
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SPEAKER_01: His name is Mike Foster.
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SPEAKER_01: He has the primal questions, seven primal questions.
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I don't know if you've ever heard of this,
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but his theory is that everyone is
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SPEAKER_01: Striving in their life to answer this one question.
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And there are seven of them that you didn't get answered when
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you were younger.
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SPEAKER_01: So they are, I don't know them all, but am I loved?
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SPEAKER_01: Am I wanted?
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SPEAKER_01: Am I safe?
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SPEAKER_01: Am I secure?
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SPEAKER_01: Do I have a purpose?
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SPEAKER_01: Like things like that.
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And so we are always trying to get other people to answer that
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question with a yes for us.
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And so depending on what your question is,
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is how things pop up in your life.
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SPEAKER_01: However,
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SPEAKER_01: The opposite side of every question is a like a strength, a superpower.
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SPEAKER_01: So mine is, am I wanted?
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SPEAKER_01: And that fits very well into my life story.
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SPEAKER_01: And so much so that I was like, oh, of course that's mine.
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But the the the flip side to am I wanted is you want everyone
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else to feel wanted.
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SPEAKER_01: So you're a connector.
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and so like the opposite of safe is you're a protector so like
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you also have a
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strength that answers that question the goal is to always
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answer that question with
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a yes for yourself that's what his work is um so I answer am I
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wanted with you know
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SPEAKER_01: within myself as a yes not looking for it you know externally and um
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so that was like one piece and as you know people always say
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things to me like I'm
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the mayor of my town or you're such a great you connect all the
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people you know
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everybody like they always say they always have said things
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like that to me and and
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you know when you have a string you don't really like that's
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just what I do I don't
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really you know you don't really pay attention to it but when I
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saw that and then I
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know you wanted to go into the other story my 27 people story
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but when that those
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SPEAKER_01: couple of things lined up it was just like a
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SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is what I do.
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SPEAKER_01: Okay, I see it now.
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SPEAKER_01: This is what I've always done.
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SPEAKER_01: I've always been the social director in the neighborhood,
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SPEAKER_01: the PTO mom,
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the person that's always bringing people together and creating
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events and hosting
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SPEAKER_01: gatherings and all of those things.
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SPEAKER_01: I've also been a barber for 23 years.
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SPEAKER_00: Wow.
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SPEAKER_01: Listening to my guys and standing behind a chair and learning how,
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SPEAKER_01: you know,
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SPEAKER_01: those kind of communication things and then my degrees in communications.
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SPEAKER_01: So like putting all of those things together,
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SPEAKER_01: it just,
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SPEAKER_01: it's just starting to kind of like click together for me.
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SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of the short story of that.
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SPEAKER_00: I love that.
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And I love how you frame it as a short story because I
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understand it takes years,
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decades.
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SPEAKER_00: It's years.
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I know I know it's really amazing I feel like this is really
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something that's
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starting to show up for me in my life as well and I'm 42 but
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I'm the kind of person
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who's changed a lot direction in my work and the work that I do
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and I think it's
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interesting because the people who are the closest to me for my
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husband for
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SPEAKER_00: instance is like
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SPEAKER_00: I never know what you do because it changes every time.
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SPEAKER_00: I don't know how to tell people what you do.
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SPEAKER_00: And it's like,
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SPEAKER_00: but because I don't know,
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I evolve and I and I discovered new skills and I discovered new
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interests and
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SPEAKER_00: curiosity.
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SPEAKER_00: And I, I go very fast in learning those things.
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SPEAKER_00: But I feel like it's really now that everything I've done in the past,
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makes it lining up yeah and even like what I studied and I
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studied languages uh
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literature uh I was a teacher for an English teacher in Belgium
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where that's where
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I'm from for I don't know like 10 years then I became a French
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teacher had my first
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business but even the little jobs you know like I worked for a
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company it was a
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SPEAKER_00: European cocoa company of Brussels and I was I was 18 or 19
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and it was just a couple of months and I remember thinking at
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the time what the
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heck am I doing here but I was given a lot of responsibility in
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making this summit
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of the cocoa industry happen in Berlin and I had to like they
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were like oh we need
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a prize we need to give a prize to the best speaker or
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something I was like
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19 years old how do I you know what I have to call company to
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create an object that
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we could give to people but like you know and now I'm like but
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yes because I now I
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work I work in marketing I help I help small company to in
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their marketing to to do
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PR to write to do to just do the marketing thing at a little
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level but I am I do
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the project managing things as well which at the time seems
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crazy and now I'm like
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SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard of linguistic intelligence?
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SPEAKER_01: Have you ever heard of this term?
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SPEAKER_00: I'm like,
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SPEAKER_00: no,
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SPEAKER_00: but yes,
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SPEAKER_00: I mean,
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SPEAKER_01: you intrinsically know what it is,
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SPEAKER_01: but like there's there's now people who teach this.
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So,
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you know,
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emotional intelligence was like a bigger thing a couple of
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years ago.
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Now we're moving into I say relational intelligence because
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people kind of kind of
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SPEAKER_01: know what that is.
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SPEAKER_01: But when I was looking into this,
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there are people who teach linguistic intelligence and it's the
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way to be able to.
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Communicate Something Because You Possess The Knowledge Of The
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Language So Well And
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I Bet That's Why Because You Speak So Many You Can Do The
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Copywriting And All The
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Marketing Because You Can Like Your Brain Just Like Understands
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It In Different
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Ways That's Really Cool Yeah Thank You For Saying That Yes And
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I See Like My Deep
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Attraction To Psychology For Instance Understanding People And
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I As A Highly
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Sensitive Person I You Know It's I Think It's A Wonderful Way
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To To Use Your Trauma
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You know how they say like empathy is like super empathy of
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being really empathetic
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SPEAKER_00: is part of how you coped as a child.
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SPEAKER_00: So that's the negative side of it.
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SPEAKER_00: But the positive side is like, I get you.
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SPEAKER_00: I really, really get you.
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SPEAKER_00: And so it's much easier to understand audiences,
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SPEAKER_00: what they want,
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SPEAKER_00: what they need to hear,
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SPEAKER_00: how to reassure them.
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SPEAKER_00: And I think it's really,
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SPEAKER_00: really interesting that for so long,
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SPEAKER_00: and I bet that was your experience as well,
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SPEAKER_00: for so long,
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SPEAKER_00: you're kind of wondering yourself,
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what you're doing where you're going you know you have skills
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there skills there
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skills there but really what is the what is the thing that ties
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everything together
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and then bam then you're like yeah well and then you're so busy
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being a mom
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that that overshadows all of it right like you you can't you
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can't pull that apart
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because you can't see past that and so then when that's someday
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you'll see but when
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that's gone when that you know you could say wait but however
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you want to say it
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but when those responsibilities are gone now you're like okay
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who am I now and you
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have a chance you have the space now to see it to feel it to
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figure it out where
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where you're at with a little one you don't have you don't have
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any space for
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I'm homeschooling so yeah you have zero space no space I mean I
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have free time in
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the afternoons we have a babysitter.com so I can work I have a
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little bit of space
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yes but at the same time if I had to wait like I counted the
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other day because my
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eldest she's 13 and my youngest son is five just turned five
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and I plan on
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homeschooling him until he's 18 which is 13 more years of my
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life I'll be 55 mm-hmm
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SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I cannot wait.
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SPEAKER_00: I cannot wait until I'm 55.
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SPEAKER_00: I want to do both,
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SPEAKER_00: but mindful,
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SPEAKER_00: you know,
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SPEAKER_00: being mindful of my energy and my time at the same time.
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SPEAKER_00: But yes, I get that.
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SPEAKER_00: I was a stay-at-home mom for two years and a half.
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it was really needed it was a pause for me that was like I was
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burnt out from my
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previous business and I was like you know what my son is too
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small he was two years
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old he needs me I'm gonna focus on my kids for now and that was
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really a period I
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think that was really healing really healing on many very hard
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very challenging I
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SPEAKER_00: was more tired than when I was working really healing in the sense of
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this can be enough for now and you know this purpose of raising
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children I think is
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not celebrated enough or valued enough but it is everything
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because to be able to
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SPEAKER_00: be present for them you also need to be present for yourself somehow not
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professionally but like in a sense of can I regulate my nervous
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system can I see
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SPEAKER_00: what I'm projecting onto them that I don't want to
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SPEAKER_00: Project onto them from the past or things like that.
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SPEAKER_00: I mean,
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SPEAKER_00: not everyone does that,
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SPEAKER_00: obviously,
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SPEAKER_00: but it's just,
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it felt to me like it was a moment to really stop associating
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my worth with how
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SPEAKER_00: much money I make or with what I bring to the world professionally,
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SPEAKER_00: but what I bring to the world through being present for my children,
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SPEAKER_00: if that makes sense.
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That's funny that you say that because I actually struggle with
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the opposite.
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SPEAKER_01: So because all I did was mom,
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I never made any money and I struggle now in my business
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believing that what the
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things that I've always done are now worth charging money for
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so I have the
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opposite problem that I I don't I don't have so I that's a work
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in progress that is
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something I I have uncovered is that oh for 20 years you know
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people say things to
12:16
me like well we won't put we won't put Rachel on the loan she
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doesn't make any
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SPEAKER_01: money
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SPEAKER_01: or things like that that are true and not meant to be worthful.
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But over time,
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you internalize that,
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well,
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what you do isn't worth to the world.
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SPEAKER_01: Never in my house.
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SPEAKER_01: I never felt that at home.
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SPEAKER_01: But always to the world, it feels like that.
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SPEAKER_01: And so now, trying to believe that is something.
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SPEAKER_01: So I have the opposite side of what you experienced.
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yeah it makes total sense and yes those things like you know
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especially when it's
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been part of your life for for so long it does stay in a part
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of you and that kind
12:58
of connects to something you've shared in the written interview
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you said that when
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you're building a business you're also building a new
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personality or identity yes I
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think that um building a business is the biggest personal
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development journey you
13:14
SPEAKER_01: could go
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SPEAKER_01: when you're building it on your own by yourself.
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SPEAKER_01: Yes,
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SPEAKER_01: I think,
13:19
SPEAKER_01: you know,
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SPEAKER_01: it's and this for me is a I don't want to say it's a passion project,
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SPEAKER_01: but this is me following my heart and my desires.
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So it's not necessarily driven by,
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you know,
13:34
a need to produce income or like so.
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SPEAKER_01: So this is it's a little different because it's heart.
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SPEAKER_01: It's more heart centered.
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SPEAKER_01: So I'm trying to find a way to build something that's successful
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SPEAKER_01: monetarily, but also reflects what I want to put out in the world.
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SPEAKER_01: And so through that,
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SPEAKER_01: the journey is figuring out,
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SPEAKER_01: OK,
13:55
who is that you want to put out in the world and being
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confident enough in that
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SPEAKER_01: before you can step outside and say,
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SPEAKER_01: here's what I am.
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SPEAKER_01: Here's what I do.
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SPEAKER_01: And that's that's been and I.
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SPEAKER_01: Work with a lot of small business owners.
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SPEAKER_01: I ran a column in the newspaper for small business owners.
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I did a lot of stuff with small business owners and I feel like
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that's a pretty
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SPEAKER_01: common journey for people.
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especially those in more like the helping spaces not
14:26
necessarily if you're like a
14:27
moving company like that's a little different but you know what
14:30
I mean but like the
14:31
people who are coaches or nutritionists or you know holistic
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healers like that kind
14:35
of because you're in it because your heart that's that's part
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of who you are your
14:38
heart and and then you're trying to put it a price on it a cost
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to it and that
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SPEAKER_01: sometimes I think um sends especially women on a little bit of a
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yeah and i think also because it's so close to who we are what
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we really want to do
14:55
what matters to us our values our identity you know i find it
15:00
so much harder
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sometimes to also deal like i've been an entrepreneur for 10
15:05
years and i completely
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SPEAKER_00: agree with you on the fact that it's self-development because you you
15:10
SPEAKER_00: Cannot keep doing it without.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: It's like a mirror.
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SPEAKER_00: It just puts this thing in your face.
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SPEAKER_00: You're like, hey, you haven't dealt with that.
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SPEAKER_00: You haven't dealt with rejection.
15:19
SPEAKER_00: You haven't dealt with abandonment.
15:20
How do you feel when a client who used to work with you now
15:23
doesn't want to work
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SPEAKER_00: with you anymore?
15:25
SPEAKER_00: And
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what about this thing that you put your heart in and not as
15:29
many people as you
15:30
thought bought it or want to to buy it how do you know it is
15:35
always something
15:36
there's so many I mean there are triggers in life because
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that's what it is you
15:40
cannot avoid the triggers I think this is part of being alive
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we can learn to
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cultivate safety inside of us but that comes with work really
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with with therapeutic
15:52
SPEAKER_00: healing work that it's um
15:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:57
SPEAKER_01: And it's beautiful.
15:58
SPEAKER_01: It's a lot of expanding your capacities,
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SPEAKER_01: like your capacity to hold things,
16:04
SPEAKER_01: to do more in less time,
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like all of the things you've got to expand what you thought
16:08
you were capable of
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SPEAKER_01: before to hold this new thing that's important to you.
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SPEAKER_01: You want it.
16:14
SPEAKER_01: You want to build it.
16:15
SPEAKER_01: And so you have to do, you know, this work to get there.
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SPEAKER_01: Or you can just not.
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SPEAKER_01: And a lot of people do.
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SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of moms try to try to
16:25
fashion a business around being a mom and allow for flexibility
16:28
and those kinds of things.
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SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't, it doesn't always work.
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SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I feel like I'm behind, like, oh my gosh, I'm 45.
16:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm just getting started.
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SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't have any of this knowledge that people have.
16:39
And then I think,
16:40
but I never,
16:41
I never had to leave my kid and go to work.
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SPEAKER_01: Like I never, so I didn't have like those kinds of issues.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: So now I just try to
16:50
SPEAKER_01: Just try to trust, we were trusting earlier, right?
16:52
SPEAKER_01: Just try to trust that,
16:53
SPEAKER_01: you know,
16:54
this is the right time for me and things will fall into place
16:57
as I need to learn
16:58
SPEAKER_01: them and those kind of things too.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
17:01
And I think it's interesting because I've spoken to a lot of
17:05
women entrepreneurs at
17:08
SPEAKER_00: a lot of different levels and different ages.
17:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: And they all say, I feel like I'm behind.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh, isn't that a commentary on something?
17:23
SPEAKER_00: It really is.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: And when I was starting,
17:26
SPEAKER_00: you know,
17:28
SPEAKER_00: it was 10 years ago,
17:28
SPEAKER_00: so I was 32,
17:30
but I felt I would always be behind because I could only do
17:33
this part time.
17:34
And so I was comparing myself to people who had started at the
17:37
same time as me or a
17:39
SPEAKER_00: couple of years before me,
17:40
SPEAKER_00: and they were so much far ahead.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: Yes,
17:43
SPEAKER_00: but they weren't homeschooling their kid,
17:45
SPEAKER_00: you know,
17:45
SPEAKER_00: and it's like,
17:45
SPEAKER_00: oh,
17:46
SPEAKER_00: he's like,
17:46
SPEAKER_00: oh,
17:46
but so I'll never make it because they have like the whole day
17:50
to work on their
17:51
SPEAKER_00: stuff and I have five hours.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: And you know what I discovered when my second child was born?
17:56
SPEAKER_00: I had a kind of,
17:59
SPEAKER_00: well,
17:59
SPEAKER_00: it's my show,
17:59
SPEAKER_00: I can say bad words,
18:00
SPEAKER_00: kind of a fuck it moment where I just realized I have so little time.
18:06
That somehow,
18:07
this time I have for my business,
18:09
first I have to make it count.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: It has to be for things that really matter.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: Not like social media, which we'll talk about in a moment.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: And I have no time for self-doubt.
18:21
I have no time the moment I'm writing this new blog post for
18:24
instance I cannot I
18:26
don't have the luxury of think this this is who am I to write
18:30
about this just write
18:32
it send the email do it and in a way that's an advantage it
18:37
forces the action yeah
18:38
yeah yeah I get you that makes sense I do I would say because I
18:42
have the luxury of
18:42
time right now I have the luxury of time I can spiral for like
18:47
a whole day I'm
18:48
SPEAKER_01: getting better at it but you can spend a day watching
18:51
you know clips of someone and and ways to hold and it's just
18:54
gone and yes so having
18:56
I can see how having constraints could help you put some some
19:01
rails on it yeah yeah
19:03
yeah exactly talking about spiraling by do we say spiraling or
19:08
spiraling spiraling
19:09
yeah spiraling talking about spiraling when we see content by
19:15
someone else this is
19:16
SPEAKER_00: definitely something that um
19:18
SPEAKER_00: was happening on the daily basis when I was on social media.
19:22
One of the reasons why I left and you shared with us that you
19:25
also quit social media.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: Can you tell us about what made you want to quit and what happened after?
19:32
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: So I've only quit Instagram.
19:35
SPEAKER_01: So here's my little theory.
19:37
SPEAKER_01: I feel like Facebook is like the yellow pages.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: Like you have to just have a presence, but I don't do a ton on Facebook.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: And then
19:46
SPEAKER_01: I find my strength is on LinkedIn because I feel like it's,
19:49
SPEAKER_01: you know,
19:50
SPEAKER_01: a more professional bent and I can read articles.
19:54
SPEAKER_01: There's not a whole lot of drama.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: There's not a lot, you know, there's not a lot of that.
20:00
So I do OK on LinkedIn and I've actually been using it as a
20:03
networking tool and
20:04
SPEAKER_01: just like cold DMing people and saying like,
20:07
SPEAKER_01: hey,
20:07
SPEAKER_01: how are you?
20:08
SPEAKER_01: And I've met some in real life and I've met,
20:11
SPEAKER_01: you know,
20:11
like it just and it's been to me when we talk about the nervous
20:15
system regulation.
20:16
even though I teach relational intelligence walking into a room
20:19
of 300 people at a
20:20
networking event still sends me like I still get really really
20:23
and I'll just talk
20:24
right like I was tucking um so for me it's more beneficial to
20:29
to to reach out like
20:31
that a one-on-one and a hey how are you doing I see you're
20:33
working on this I find
20:34
this really cool versus like here go in a room and make friends
20:40
you know so I use
20:41
SPEAKER_01: it like that but I um
20:43
SPEAKER_01: I decided to leave Instagram in November of last year.
20:47
SPEAKER_01: I decided to leave a couple of things in my life.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: Instagram was one of them.
20:51
SPEAKER_01: I never liked Instagram.
20:54
SPEAKER_01: My son says I'm not a visual storyteller.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: He does digital marketing.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: He does videography.
21:03
SPEAKER_01: He's on Instagram all the time.
21:06
SPEAKER_01: But that's not, I guess, maybe how my brain works.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm not really sure.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: But all I think is like,
21:13
I can't stop comparing myself this feels terrible I'm just
21:17
putting things in the
21:19
mill to keep the mill eating like I'm just feeding this machine
21:23
because that's what
21:24
it demands of me and then I was like you know what like I'm
21:27
actually the human I'm
21:29
actually in charge of this and I don't have I don't have to
21:31
participate so I
21:32
SPEAKER_01: deactivated my account and then they they make you wait for a month
21:36
SPEAKER_01: So do you know that?
21:37
SPEAKER_01: Like if you deactivate Instagram,
21:40
SPEAKER_01: they're like,
21:40
SPEAKER_01: OK,
21:40
SPEAKER_01: well,
21:41
SPEAKER_01: we won't delete it for a month just in case you change your mind.
21:43
So if you click on anything anybody sends you that's like an
21:46
Instagram reel or
21:47
SPEAKER_01: something,
21:48
SPEAKER_01: then you reopen it back up because it's,
21:51
SPEAKER_01: yeah.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: So you have to be really careful.
21:53
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so I made it through.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: I closed it down.
21:55
SPEAKER_01: And my life is a better place.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: Like I just don't even, I didn't think about it before.
21:59
SPEAKER_01: I don't think about it now.
22:01
I don't think for my particular business it really matters
22:03
that,
22:04
like I can see if you're a,
22:05
interior designer or you know you have a visual kind of job
22:10
where the things you
22:10
produce are need to be visually appealing okay I see that it's
22:16
just more than I
22:17
care to deal with so yeah my life is blissfully better and
22:22
that's the most
22:23
important thing and I think it's a permission slip that a lot
22:26
of people need to
22:27
SPEAKER_00: need to have yeah I feel I hear I'm onSubstack mainly um
22:34
it's not really a social media you know it's a platform I mean
22:39
if people are
22:39
watching this on Substack you know what Substack is but it's a
22:43
platform where you can
22:45
blog that's kind of a blog slash newsletter videos on it I
22:49
thought it was just a
22:49
writing you can put videos you can host your podcast you can go
22:54
live and there's
22:55
SPEAKER_00: like this feed where you can also post notes a bit like a
23:02
SPEAKER_00: X Twitter,
23:04
SPEAKER_00: but for people who are creative and intellectuals,
23:11
SPEAKER_00: basically,
23:11
SPEAKER_00: that's what a space is.
23:13
I never used the feed before because I really wanted out of
23:17
social media completely.
23:19
SPEAKER_00: I didn't want the thing of having to put out content that,
23:21
SPEAKER_00: you know,
23:22
but the beauty of that algorithm is that I can post something
23:26
today and it can
23:27
SPEAKER_00: still get visibility in six months.
23:31
Which is really something that is missing from places like
23:34
Instagram,
23:35
etc.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: So I started doing it now to just connect more with people.
23:39
That's the place where I play and have the relationship that
23:42
you were talking about.
23:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I have to check that out.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: I never really explored it at all.
23:47
SPEAKER_00: Well, be my guest.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: It's awesome.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: It's awesome.
23:53
SPEAKER_01: Reddit is a little bit like that.
23:55
SPEAKER_01: It's like more grassrootsy, homegrown.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:59
Less like an algorithm and more like people like asking
24:02
questions and answering and
24:03
SPEAKER_01: helping each other out.
24:04
SPEAKER_01: It can get weird,
24:05
SPEAKER_01: like there's obviously weird rabbit holes,
24:07
SPEAKER_01: but that one has a little bit more of a non-corporate kind of feel.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I feel that, I feel that.
24:18
I was on Instagram before so I started my first account it was
24:21
2016 or 17 for my
24:24
first business I was a teaching business I was teaching French
24:27
and it worked
24:29
beautifully honestly at the time so I had 5,000 6,000 followers
24:35
and I was doing
24:36
videos before the reels were a thing so before 2020 it was very
24:42
creative for me to
24:43
SPEAKER_00: be on there and I had a lot of clients from there as well
24:47
SPEAKER_00: I feel that 2020 was the big shift.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: First of all, I became tired of it.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: That's the first thing.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: The algorithm completely changed completely.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: I went from posting a video having 500, 600 views to having five views.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: I didn't change overnight.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: It was the same kind of content, but people wouldn't see it.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: You don't want these numbers to
25:15
to weigh on you but it does because it's discouraging you know
25:21
so that was one
25:21
thing that was a problem and then the other problem was just
25:25
like you know you can
25:26
I kept telling myself I'm gonna post and I'm gonna be out and
25:30
that's it I won't
25:31
spend more time I can never do that because I think that the
25:35
place really became
25:36
toxic for me it became a place of you know all these people in
25:41
the similar
25:42
SPEAKER_00: industries as you but then
25:45
with maybe a marketing team or maybe you know a bigger whatever
25:49
not a bigger
25:50
following but also a messaging that is very that was very
25:53
triggering for me that's
25:54
like I have a secret you don't know it you want it buy my stuff
25:58
what's I work in
25:59
the same industry as you what secret do you have that I don't
26:02
have you know like
26:03
there's no secret like what do you mean secret what you know
26:08
and I was like
26:08
triggered into self-doubt and I would spend then you know two
26:13
three hours per day
26:15
trying to regulate myself so I could go back to actually
26:18
producing something that
26:19
would that would last and I was just discussing this before I
26:22
was in a coaching
26:22
session before with a client I was telling her you know I quit
26:26
in February 2024 so
26:28
it's about two years my life is so much better just like I feel
26:31
like you know I
26:32
SPEAKER_00: live in a
26:33
in a bubble of I like to say to build a business like a home
26:37
you know I feel like
26:38
it's it's all it's comfy and I write and I connect with people
26:42
and I have my cup of
26:43
tea I do things I love to do and and that's it you know yeah
26:48
that's that's it I
26:49
still you know of course I I read the news sometimes I read my
26:53
emails I'm I'm in
26:54
SPEAKER_00: connection with people in this way uh
26:57
SPEAKER_00: But there's no external factor telling me you're not enough.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: I have a better life.
27:02
SPEAKER_00: I have better knowledge.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: I have, you know, this is, I don't need to know.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: Or also giving you things to worry about.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: Like, I feel like that's what happens a lot.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: You know,
27:12
SPEAKER_01: people,
27:13
things you never would have known of otherwise are now huge and
27:17
in your world and
27:18
you're worried about something going on in a place that has
27:21
nothing to do with you
27:22
SPEAKER_01: and you can't make a change there.
27:24
SPEAKER_01: So the removal of agency from those kinds of things,
27:29
SPEAKER_01: the lack of being able to do anything but still getting spun up about it,
27:35
SPEAKER_01: it's not good for us.
27:37
SPEAKER_01: I don't care what anyone says.
27:39
SPEAKER_01: It can't be good for us.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: That's just that powerlessness feeling.
27:43
SPEAKER_01: I think that's what's fomenting some of the rage.
27:47
SPEAKER_01: We all feel like everything's terrible and we can't do anything about it.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: That's...
27:53
that can't be good for us yeah absolutely but so for me I quit
27:58
everything I'm not
27:58
on Facebook I'm not on Instagram I'm not on LinkedIn I mean you
28:02
can see my accounts
28:03
on LinkedIn so you can see what I do yeah I plan on making like
28:07
three posts where
28:08
you have a direction of the things I do for you that's it okay
28:11
um I tried to
28:13
interact there a little bit in the beginning of this uh this
28:16
version of my business
28:18
SPEAKER_00: I also felt like I don't know
28:20
SPEAKER_00: I felt like I was in a networking room.
28:23
SPEAKER_01: I felt like everyone was like, I do this, I do this.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I don't want to do anything.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: I just have a great day, guys.
28:31
Well now it's all especially for you like now it's all AI like
28:35
you can just tell
28:36
everybody just put it in chat GPT and it's like I'm not why do
28:39
I waste my time on
28:40
this like I'm not even reading this so exactly there's that
28:43
piece of it too I do
28:45
exactly exactly so for me my way of networking is what we're
28:48
doing now is just I
28:50
SPEAKER_00: you know people recommend other people I have this interview series I
28:54
SPEAKER_00: I connect with people in through email so I check up on people we've had
28:58
conversations before if I see a newsletter that touches me in
29:02
some way I answer
29:03
back but it's really it's part of my routine I do answer back
29:08
and then we have
29:09
relationships that emerge naturally or they don't and it's fine
29:14
and this is really
29:14
my way of growing my community around what I do yeah you have
29:21
to be really
29:22
SPEAKER_01: intentional
29:23
SPEAKER_01: to do it that way.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: And I think the other part is social media.
29:26
SPEAKER_01: It's easy.
29:26
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't ask anything of you this, right?
29:29
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't ask anything.
29:30
It doesn't have you keeping track or making like,
29:35
oh,
29:35
this person would love this newsletter.
29:37
SPEAKER_01: Let me send it to them.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: Like that takes something, you know, and I don't know.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: A lot of people don't want to.
29:43
SPEAKER_01: So what do they say?
29:44
SPEAKER_01: The extra mile is always very empty.
29:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's why there's not a lot of competition there.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: Being human and doing the thing that not a lot of people do.
29:56
See?
29:56
SPEAKER_00: Strategy here.
29:58
SPEAKER_00: Who does that?
29:59
SPEAKER_00: Answering to a newsletter or recommending a newsletter to someone else?
30:03
SPEAKER_00: Me.
30:03
SPEAKER_00: I do that.
30:04
Talking about bringing people together is the last thing I
30:10
wanted to discuss with
30:11
SPEAKER_00: you,
30:11
SPEAKER_00: but it's so powerful.
30:13
SPEAKER_00: You shared with us this beautiful moment in your story where you received
30:18
SPEAKER_00: a photo of 27 neighbors at a trivia night that you helped create.
30:25
SPEAKER_00: And you weren't even there.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: Talk about bringing people together.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: Tell us more about that, please.
30:32
So on my bucket list for last year was to start a community
30:37
group where the only
30:38
SPEAKER_01: point was to meet your neighbors.
30:40
SPEAKER_01: That's the only mission of my group.
30:42
And so I started it last...
30:44
Actually,
30:45
our anniversary one year is this weekend.
30:48
and I had this feeling you know everybody says we're so lonely
30:53
we're so isolated
30:54
nobody wants to leave their house nobody wants to put down
30:57
their phones like all of
30:57
this talk is is like going in the in the ether right like it's
31:01
all you hear all
31:02
these things and I kept thinking like this can't actually be
31:05
true like I don't
31:06
actually believe that I think that people want to know other
31:09
people I really do so
31:11
I'm going to run this experiment so I started this it's a face
31:14
it is Facebook it's
31:15
SPEAKER_01: a Facebook group and um
31:18
it is I think we have like 400 members now and we live in a
31:21
tiny little town like
31:23
it's a tiny little town and the only rule is that you have to
31:28
live in the zip code
31:30
you have to live here so which I get some pushback about
31:33
sometimes but whatever so
31:35
SPEAKER_01: We have had over 100 events.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: We do the trivia nights.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: We do game nights.
31:40
SPEAKER_01: We just hang out at people's houses.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: We started a college of knowledge where people are sharing their skills.
31:48
It has just been the most remarkable testament to how much
31:54
people are craving
31:55
SPEAKER_01: connection from the people who are around them.
31:58
That when I got that picture,
32:00
so that I think was like July I got that picture.
32:05
27 people who didn't know each other three months before that
32:09
were sitting together
32:10
at a local restaurant because we try to support local
32:13
businesses like and having
32:15
trivia night and sending me pictures like that just it made my
32:20
it still makes my
32:21
heart you can tell it still makes my heart feel like I have
32:25
tears coming in my eyes
32:26
SPEAKER_01: like it is just I don't believe that we can't
32:32
We can't be friends with people who are on different sides of a
32:36
political spectrum or whatever.
32:39
A million different reasons why we think that somebody else is
32:42
not like us.
32:44
SPEAKER_01: I don't believe it.
32:45
SPEAKER_01: It is not my lived experience.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: It's not that I've never seen discrimination.
32:48
SPEAKER_01: It's not that I've never had somebody say something insensitive to me.
32:54
SPEAKER_01: It's not that I'm living in a fantasy world.
32:57
It's just that I don't believe that that's the way we really
32:59
want to live.
33:02
While I have 400 members,
33:03
like probably maybe 10 to 20% regularly show up at things.
33:07
SPEAKER_01: I mean,
33:07
SPEAKER_01: there's book clubs,
33:08
we go on like adventures and we try new things and go new
33:12
places together.
33:13
What the most surprising thing was to me that is it is mostly
33:17
empty nesters.
33:20
SPEAKER_01: So that I didn't see coming.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: But it is all these people who, you know,
33:26
SPEAKER_01: Jessica Techenkis,
33:27
SPEAKER_01: Ph.D.:
33:27
Live in live in a place where their kids are grown and you know
33:29
their their jobs
33:30
are established and and they're lonely and and they needed just
33:34
a place they just
33:35
needed a platform and somebody to say here here's other people
33:38
who want the same
33:39
SPEAKER_01: thing.
33:39
SPEAKER_01: Jessica Techenkis,
33:40
SPEAKER_01: Ph.D.:
33:40
And now it has turned into it has grown into people will post
33:43
on there like hey you
33:44
SPEAKER_01: guys want to go to breakfast and then like a little group will go to.
33:47
SPEAKER_01: and I'm not in it anymore.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
33:50
SPEAKER_01: I still do main events,
33:52
but now they're making friends and they see each other at the
33:56
post office and the
33:56
SPEAKER_01: grocery store and they'd snap pictures and send them to me of them.
33:59
They run into each other at the restaurant up the street and
34:01
look who I saw.
34:04
SPEAKER_01: We're humans.
34:04
SPEAKER_01: We need that.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: I won't be
34:07
SPEAKER_01: I will stand on my soapbox all day for that.
34:10
SPEAKER_01: But it has just been,
34:11
SPEAKER_01: so that was the capstone to me realizing,
34:14
SPEAKER_01: oh,
34:14
SPEAKER_01: not only am I really good at this,
34:17
SPEAKER_01: people want it,
34:17
SPEAKER_01: people need it.
34:19
And now I just need to figure out the best way to translate
34:21
that into a business,
34:22
SPEAKER_01: which is,
34:23
SPEAKER_01: you know,
34:23
SPEAKER_01: kind of where I am at the moment.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: It's so beautiful.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: And thank you so much for sharing the whole story of how it came to be.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to
34:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, move away from this because I think it's a beautiful way.
34:38
I want to end with these very positive feelings that you gave
34:41
us by sharing the story.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: What I feel is hope, really.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: It's really hope.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: The story is a story of hope because I think we forget that.
34:51
SPEAKER_00: And especially when you work online.
34:53
it's very isolating and we are in a world that is very
34:57
individualistic that's what
34:58
we say that's the image we have where everyone is there for you
35:02
know fighting for
35:03
themselves and and very you know self-centered but then you're
35:07
showing us a
35:08
completely different story and that it's not that hard it's not
35:12
that hard that's
35:13
what that's like my biggest takeaway is that everybody feels
35:17
this way just say hi
35:20
SPEAKER_01: Just say hello.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: Just put your hand out or hand up, however it's easiest for you.
35:26
And if somebody rebuffs you or they're nervous and they can't
35:29
look at you,
35:30
SPEAKER_01: whatever,
35:30
SPEAKER_01: it's not your fault.
35:31
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
35:32
SPEAKER_01: Like, do it again.
35:34
SPEAKER_01: Keep doing it again.
35:36
SPEAKER_01: Because like, we're all creating this.
35:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, I refuse.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: I refuse to
35:42
Honestly like I this has just been it happened so fast and so
35:47
many people in our
35:48
tiny little town that I just I just really think that we all we
35:53
all need this and
35:54
the most important lesson is just go first just just go first
35:59
say hello be a human
36:00
SPEAKER_01: and
36:03
I think people are possibility so you never know where your
36:06
next friend your next
36:07
opportunity your next cool idea your next adventure you never
36:11
know but they're all
36:12
they're all housed in other people so to to expand your life I
36:16
feel like that's
36:18
that's how but anyway sorry thank you thank you so much thank
36:22
you so much for for
36:24
SPEAKER_00: your experience for sharing that for your stories for your time
36:28
SPEAKER_00: It is really, really, really valuable.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: I know some people,
36:32
I know for sure that are going to watch this and how much is
36:35
going to land for
36:36
SPEAKER_00: them.
36:37
SPEAKER_00: I know it's how it's landing in me.
36:39
SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
36:42
SPEAKER_00: I will add below links to your websites, anything you want to share.
36:49
SPEAKER_00: We put it in there so people can find you and enter your world as well.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: And until next time.