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Beating the Odds on Authentic Living with Roxanne · Authentic Living

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Welcome to authentic living with Roseanne from Global Voice Radio.
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Join understands in the past and thoughts about these conversations, catalysts live in your
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lives and wallets.
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So hi, everyone.
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It's, Ralph Sandor again, welcome again to authentic living with Roseanne.
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I've been having a lot of fun doing these shows, and I think this is about my 7th or 8th.
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So I've got a little bit more of the hang of it.
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And today, I have, a very, very special guest, Gary Barnes, and he's all the way out in
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Colorado and was, just so privileged.
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I met Gary a little while back not too long ago, and, I've spent a bit of time chatting
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with him, and as a business coach, just, you know, about some of the things about being in,
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the business world and, gates a lot of good things from him.
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So welcome, welcome, Gary.
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Well, thank you so much.
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It's a privilege being here.
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Awesome.
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So I'm gonna tell I'm gonna just tell the audience a little bit about you and, Gary's
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been a business coach, a business mastery coach for how long?
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How long, Edgar?
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Well, you know, I've combined it with what I had done to build my own businesses, but it's
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over 30 years.
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Wow.
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Goodness.
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And you have 8 best selling international Amazon books.
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Wow.
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But I did release number 9.
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You did?
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Yep.
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When did you do that?
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I had the boot camp last What was that?
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Last not this last weekend, but the weekend before it started.
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Wow.
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That's awesome.
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And you've, dealt with clients in about 7 countries.
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You've been on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, PBS, and and you did a TED Talk.
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And, you've done some fantastic, fun things too.
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You've done a forty foot fire walk.
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I'm scared of those, but that that sounds interesting.
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You've flown a World War 2 P 51 fighter.
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You've been in a derby, and you've done a bungee jump at 75, feet and climbed like
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really, really high mountains here by the sounds of things.
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So you've also had a lot of fun, across your career.
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And, you're known for your internationally acclaimed book, how would be received my life?
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And I think I wanna talk more about that.
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And Also your personal story, which I think is quite fascinating, where in 1988, you were
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diagnosed with, multiple sclerosis and you told you were told you actually use a wheelchair or,
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that you'd be dead in in 10 years, and we can see that that's not the case.
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You're very live and here with us, and you didn't accept the diagnosis.
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And you've kind of taken, those, life lessons and helped a lot of other people look at, you
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know, what is the worst day and how to captivate each and every moment.
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So thank you so much, and I'm looking forward to hearing all these fascinating things.
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I hadn't recognized the depth of some of the things that you've done in all fairness, so
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I'm, very happy to have you here today.
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Well, you're very welcome.
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You know, it's conversations is what, to me, it's all about.
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It's finding out and hearing other people's stories because the story is why it makes each
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of us unique, and none of us have the same exact story.
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And, unfortunately, a lot of people don't have permission to share that story.
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Absolutely.
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So, you know, I've had a lot of different people on.
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I think you're probably the 2nd business coach, but I will what I wanna talk to you about is
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kind of obviously, we you know, you've been through a lot and you've done some amazing
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things out there in in the world of coaching.
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But tell me when you when you started off, What what got you into this field and what what kind
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of kept you passionately connected to it to want to do these things that you've done?
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In the in the coaching arena?
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Yep.
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You know, it it's unique because I never planned on coaching.
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What was happening is that people were watching me, my clients, I owned 1 of the largest
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financial planning firms in the United States where in production, I was in the top 3% of the
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firms.
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And so my clients was they what they were doing is watching me, and they were seeing what I had
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been able to accomplish as a sole producer.
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I had 3 support staff, but I was the only person creating, really, the revenue.
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And so that kept asking me, will you teach me what you did?
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You know, and I started running out of time.
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And so I started just helping people.
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And finally, a couple of people that were referring clients to me for this, told me they
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weren't gonna send me any more clients.
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And I've gone, oh, gee.
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Did I do something wrong?
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You know, it's just like, I it hurt.
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And they go, yes.
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You're not charging them.
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And so I've worked, you know, I'm making them quite a bit of money.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I can do this since you might get back, and I don't know.
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If you're not charging them.
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They're not having any skin in the game, and they're not doing what you're giving them
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really great information and suggestions off.
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So I started out at, you know, the $50 and, you know, if you wanna buy me a hamburger or, you
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know, it was, and it's evolved.
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And I sold the practice 15 years ago, and after 33 years in in the financial planning world,
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and it's evolved.
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I mean, it's taken off.
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I teach everything that I teach around is what I've actually done.
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Some processes I've created So they're uniquely mine, and it's not out of a book.
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And so I deal with companies and industries across the board from home based businesses all
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the way up to manufacturing firms in the medical field across countries.
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Yes.
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I I I love working with people in other countries because the cultures are different
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than how we relate to our particular niches is different.
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And I think we're really becoming or won't be coming, actually.
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We have become a world society.
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And, as you grow your business, I mean, look at us.
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We're in 2 different countries, and we're communicating.
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We're understanding each other.
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We're touching lives, but building my my coaching practice was it really wasn't an
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accident.
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It was an opportunity, like, said yes, too.
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Wow.
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So you just kind of went out there and you were doing business and you were doing some good
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things and then by listening again.
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And, of course, my my show is all about listening to that authentic space within
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yourself.
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And, you know, I know oftentimes, most people struggle with that.
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Right?
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Like, you know, I think as children, you know, and I often use the analogy of, you know, when
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I think of looking at my son, how not when, you know, when you have a child or your
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grandchildren, because I know you have, several grandchildren that you it really reconnects you
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with what true being is, right, because they are so natural at following their instincts.
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But as we go along, you know, what happens is, you know, I my term is we get pricked and
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prodded and and, you know, and tarnished a bit, and then we get away from that authentic space.
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We started learning while we have been taught not to cluster sounds.
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You know, when we we have our one year old second granddaughter, just turned 1.
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And the biggest thing is walk and talk.
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And as soon as we walk and talk, we're told to shut up and sit down.
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Mhmm.
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And everybody else has what we should be doing, and we have learned not to trust that that
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inner voice that instinct what I call the the little genius.
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And when we do that, we're really, you know, we will go to everyone and ask them what we should
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do.
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But yet when it doesn't go right, the first thing we might say, what I hear from people is
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I knew I shouldn't have done that.
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Then my question would be, why did you?
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And the simple answer is that you didn't listen to yourself.
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So what kind of things?
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You know, like you said, you do sector.
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You do small.
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You do large.
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When you are working with people that come to you in whatever form, how do you get them to
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that space?
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Is an actual process or some steps that you can kinda share with with me.
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I'm interested, but I'm sure everyone listening might also to help people connect, right,
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because even, you know, I was talking to someone earlier this day.
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And then, you know, I said I was having this conversation.
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I made this decision, and then somebody kind of inflicted something.
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Not on what what you said unlike what you just said, and I went, oh, well, maybe maybe my
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instinct is not a 100%.
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Right?
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So I even that happened to me earlier on this morning.
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So tell me a bit about how you work through that to kind of ground.
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I see it as grounding people in that space to really listen.
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To what's good for their business?
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Well, anything new is based in fear.
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And the fear is either I call it god given or fear that we should pay, you know, that it's
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false fear.
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And what happens is that if it's something that we truly know that is not gonna be good for it,
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fear we need to pay attention to.
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But anything new produces fear because we've never borrowed or we've never been there
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before.
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And when we go into something brand new, I call it borrowed belief because someone has given us
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information.
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We've met it.
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We intuitively thought This is something we wanna do.
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So we're borrowing, believe, because we don't have an experience with the reality of a result
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from that action.
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And, really, it's about that.
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It is, I I before the call, we were talking, I said, it's launch and adjust.
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And the analogy that I use as an airplane.
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And so I have a question for you.
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I'm not wanting to put you on the spot.
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I I like that.
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It's okay.
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I could play along.
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Okay.
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So when is an airplane 100% on course?
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Once there is an auto autopilot.
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Now when?
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When it's on the ground?
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That is the only time when it's in the air on autopilot.
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In fact, I have a number of, commercial, captain.
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Pilots that are my client.
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And I asked this at my boot camp last weekend where my MC is a, I I'm not supposed to say the
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name of his airline, but he's a captain.
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And I asked him, I said, why how often is an airplane off horse using the autopilot?
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And it goes 99.9 percent of the time.
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Oh my goodness.
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Ira does.
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It does the little adjustments to bring it back onto court.
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Mhmm.
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But because of the wind and all of the variations, the weight, the the things that
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throws us off are natural and normal, but we have a tendency to think that when we make a
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good decision, everything's gonna be smooth.
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Mhmm.
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So I wish it was.
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It's not because we don't know what's ahead of us.
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And so that launch and adjust is allowing ourselves to put ourselves at risk.
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And when an airplane's on the ground, it's not fulfilling it's destined likewise for us.
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If we're not moving forward, I I remember a quote, oh, the Virgin Airline Guide, sir
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Richard Branson.
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Yes.
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But if you're not out there far enough and it doesn't scare you, you're not out there far
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enough.
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Okay.
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You you don't want to be out there so far that it paralyzes you.
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And we all know sometimes we will really bite out bite off more than we can do.
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The reality is is that we want to go about a 110, 120% probably than we think we can and
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then take the next natural step.
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For sure.
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Right?
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And I can think of my process, in starting my business.
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I make decisions and I think, oh, boy.
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Then I think, okay.
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What am I going through?
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Because it's maybe I'm stretching myself, and I'm stretching myself a bit more than maybe I
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was accustomed to, and then I go, you know, I have that bit of that goal.
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And then I try to think, you know, what is what is it really about that's happening for me?
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Like you said?
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Is it fear?
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Because I know I'm gonna really get hurt, or is it fear?
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Because I know it's, like I said, unknown territory, that I don't have those, you know,
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thought processes to kinda help me through it.
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Well, in reality, we're starting our businesses over every day.
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And we were not expanding.
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And then people, over the years, I've had a word every year that I've lived by.
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And last year, I stopped.
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And I have used one work that I'll use for the rest of my career.
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And that is a word expansion.
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What I'm doing is expanding what I have already built a foundation for.
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And when you're expanding, that doesn't mean you're doing the same things over and over
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again that you've done.
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It means that you're adding on and you're adjusting.
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You're always going into new territory.
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So the things that we're doing, it it I have little same feelings.
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Oh, and let me give you this.
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I I have a background in my early background with psychology and theology.
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Weird right now.
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Okay.
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And my hospital chaplaincy program, I had a mentor that gave me this this adage that I have
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you my career and with my coaching clients, and that is abnormal feelings and abnormal
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circumstances are normal.
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Abnormal feelings and abnormal circumstances are normal.
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And so when we get out of ourselves and get into an air that smell.
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We have all these feelings, and it's absolutely normal.
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It's not an indication to stop necessarily.
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So that's when we can stop, step back, and look at it, get perspective, have that input from
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trusted advisers Not a problem, but then making your decision because it's your journey.
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One of my garyisms is life is a solo journey traveled with many in the ad is our own path
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that we have to follow.
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So having advisors, but at the end of the day, recognizing that you have to go back to that
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internal space within yourself to really kind of think about what is it that I'm trying to
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create?
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What's my voice in the world?
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What what leg I often say is, what what legacy do I want to leave behind when I kind of think
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of my business?
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I think of that.
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And if it's kind of going off course, where it's not, you know, it's, it's, you know,
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almost, an opposite direction than I, than I, of course, correct.
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Sometimes though I veer off maybe a little bit further than I want to, but always coming back
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because then I I kind of start to feel I will call it the inkiness on the inside that says,
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oh, this doesn't feel so good.
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And then I, you know, try to make some change.
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Well, and here's a question that I've used forever for myself.
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And with my plans, pretty much anybody I've ever met, is that when you have an opportunity,
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because the more you're seeing, the more opportunity they're gonna come towards you, And
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the question is not whether this opportunity is right, wrong, good, or bad, but rather does it
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fit and does it match my ultimate vision?
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So does it take me towards or away from that ultimate vision that I've set for myself?
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Now the challenge is many people haven't figured out what that ultimate vision is, so
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they don't know.
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They're looking for someone else to determine what that ultimate vision is because they don't
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wanna be wrong.
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And, you know, wrong is in failure doesn't live in my world.
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It's just a result that I didn't want or a process that didn't quite give me the result
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that I wanted.
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So what could I adjust and move again?
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Absolutely.
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So tell us, tell us a bit about your, book, your original book and, how a beaver saved my
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life because I think that's an interesting story and kind of how you've, how you've used
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it in business and how have you just kind of used it in life, just to kind of live live
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through things?
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Well, you know, it's it's an interesting.
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Do I add you?
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It was a story that anybody would ever have an interest in hearing about.
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And when I don't tell it at times, people bring me back to in 88, I was it was just before
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Thanksgiving, and I was shoveling snow.
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And, basically, out of one of the shows, I had a pain in my right And by that evening, I had
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gone numb from when I, I lost all feelings for the neck down.
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And I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, but, went to my primary care doctor,
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and he said, you know, virtually, there was nothing he was gonna be able to do for me.
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I was gonna see the man upstairs.
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Kind of freaked me out because I wasn't ready to go, and they won't know you're going after
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the 2nd floor of disease and neurologist.
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And by your teeth, you know?
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And, but the neurologist gave me 3 choices.
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Either it was a brain tumor, a cancer, or multiple fluasis and had one of the very first
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MRIs here in the state of Colorado.
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It's in the back of an 18 wheeler tractor trailer.
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And midnight Thanksgiving weekend.
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Doctor calls me in Sunday night.
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I wanna see you in my office tomorrow morning.
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And go in and he takes an hour to tell me everything that it was.
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And he said, you know, finally, I just tell me what it is, doc.
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I can take it.
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And he said, well, you still have 3 choices.
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MSMS or MS.
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I've got fantastic.
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What can we do?
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Because you don't understand.
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There's nothing you can do.
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There's nothing in 88.
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And I said there's always something we can do.
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He goes, no.
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Go home.
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Enjoy your kids.
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My my sons were 8 and 9.
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And, you know, it was just one of those things that said, you know, just prepare.
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This is your faith.
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This is your future.
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And, and I did instinctively.
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I have never said I had something.
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I've always said I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis or MS, and I'm gonna lose someone
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else's opinion.
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Our brains are set up as a mutual Oregon, if you will.
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Whatever you tell it, it says, okay.
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If you say, you know, I'm having a bad day, it's gonna support that if you're saying you're
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having a good days during support that.
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And and even though I had no feelings, I lost the ability to write and walk.
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If I couldn't see my feet, it was an interesting process.
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So I knew some of the things that people had done visually in visualizations Norman Cousins
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used, the 3 stooges.
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He loved the lab therapies, put himself into remission.
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Other people use the old, video gig Pacman where, you know, they wouldn't let the cancer
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say.
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Right.
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And it didn't really make sense to me.
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And so laying in bed, I was thinking about what could I visually?
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And all of a sudden, an image of a bingo shows up.
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Now you better understand.
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My animal that I, the connected through my entire life or Eagles, or not where are.
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And, in fact, you can see one of my Eagles right there.
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Oh, wow.
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And, in the Eagle, in fact, I had, acquired that living before this diagnosis, and that
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title of that piece is above the storm.
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It's always quiet above the storm.
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You you so you we have choices.
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Where do we fall?
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And so I said a beeper, and he turned around and started patching up the nylon sheet.
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The part that dissolved around the the nerves that, you know, shorts out and gives you the
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blockage.
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Am I okay?
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Cool.
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And so next night, he shows up again.
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Next night, he shows up again.
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Now I gotta tell you, I'm the kind of guy that if one beaver's good, more is better.
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And then, you know, next, 30 days, I created a whole army approvals.
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I had 3 shifts of beavers working around the clock.
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I had 4 men work my payroll offices.
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Everything to set up this company of viewers that were totally dedicated to one thing
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patching up my birthday.
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And, then I felt a little guilty for only receiving so that I created and expanded the
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visualization for parts, rec centers, shopping centers, housing, you know, everything's gonna
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be.
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So we were in this symbiotic relationship, and I was paying 2 a half to 3 hours a night in
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this visualization.
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5 years later, I had a gentleman that worked for a very large insurance company and said, we
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don't have trouble.
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And I've always said, my wife's involved at Bailey.
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And, it's usually a cycle therapist.
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And the, I had a second MRI.
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What ended up happening is that the meteorologist, there was a, at the MS Center
22:10
here in Denver, and he had both I think that this is impossible because 98% believe them,
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they're no longer on your brain.
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Wow.
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And he goes, that's star tissue.
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Judge you, she doesn't go away.
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And by the way, you still have, and I wanna see you every 6 months.
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Well, I was in the middle of my financial planning call, I never told anybody about this
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because people, if they think a doctor has told you you're gonna be dead, they don't wanna give
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you money.
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So it was only after I sold the practice that it started to be done wrong.
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And, again, I didn't think anybody would really be interested in the school.
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And the first book was, independent how are at the end of the night, they wrote from adversity
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of credit, and it was good or whatever.
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And after I talked to a lady had purchased the book.
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And a few days later, I gave her a good box.
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It inside the box.
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It's a three foot beaver.
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And my coach at the time I called in, and I was like, you guys are believers.
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Don't want me to set me a beaver.
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And he got a third folder.
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He goes, when people start sending you a physical image, a physical manifestation of the
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station with your story, you got it with cancer.
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He says we're changing the title of the book.
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To how it'd be, or save my life.
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Once we did that, it took me to the 3 syndicated shows on PBS, all the major
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networks, Ted, let's call me to do the b report.
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I never applied.
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You never applied.
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And, so it the the book opened so many doors.
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Anyone watching the show with us today.
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1 if there's one thing I would tell them, like a book, get a book out there because it opens
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doors for but the whole of you who saved my life is not a semester.
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I made sure that I didn't want it to be just an investor I wanted it to be a adversity book.
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And so at the end of the chat, I wrote a action set of all the things I did for you that
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chapter.
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And so it can be applied to business, relationships, health, finances, you know,
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children, child raising, marital, you know, what So it has the the ability to change for
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whoever it is wanting to you know, embrace, dynamic, the the technique, if you will, of
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what I did for myself instinctively.
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And I just and this is going back to somebody who talked to a lawyer.
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I followed my back.
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I followed my intuition of what was right for me.
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Not what some of the most thing that you do.
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So it's that space within all of us.
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And I I often I mean, my book is, you know, really from that perspective too, that, the
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context about a lot of people get repelled in the past, right, based on what has happened, or
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they kinda get projected into the future, which is based off here.
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Right?
25:21
And often times, you know, we're spending so much time on either the left or the right side
25:25
that we're not completely here, which is where, where I I hear your story being in that you
25:31
took something that would have literally mentally and emotionally crippled most people.
25:38
And then you said, you may said something significant.
25:40
You said, you know, I have been given a diagnosis, which takes it outside of you
25:46
versus, I have MS, which means I am right, which is so, so significant to that concept of,
25:53
of self talk.
25:54
Because if I, like, to your point, you know, there's a bigger part of us listening all the
25:59
time and feeding and imprinting those messages over and over again.
26:04
And so in your dreams, you've got this vision, and then you just started to magnify more and
26:09
more that, that things were being repaired on deep down even on a cellular level, which is,
26:15
you know, amazing that you know, and how fascinating.
26:19
So when you when you coach people in business, do you use the concepts in the book, or is it a
26:26
different model altogether.
26:28
You know what?
26:29
I can't believe.
26:30
And the one thing I do wanna say about the the Verestory is that I don't see it as a magic
26:36
pill, a magic bean.
26:39
This is my story.
26:41
And I still have no feelings in my hands.
26:44
I still have very little feelings in my legs and my feet, but I go to, hotels when I speak,
26:50
they help me with my buttons.
26:53
So I've learned how to adjust, but it's so much better than what it was.
26:58
I had fallen off two stages.
26:59
I bumped into the wall, and I and and just like, okay.
27:03
But I'm still here.
27:05
Mhmm.
27:05
Mhmm.
27:05
And so, yes, I use pieces and parts, but you said something that's critically important in
27:12
my life.
27:13
When we first started our conversation today, and that is actively listening.
27:18
I'm actively listening, not only to myself, but to those that I'm with.
27:23
I'm listening to you to see what's important to you, not what's important to me.
27:28
And so we have a whole lot of tools and techniques and strategies in our, you know, bag
27:34
of tricks, if you will.
27:36
So which ones are gonna be applicable relevant to you now?
27:39
And that's really the important part.
27:41
I it's not about me.
27:42
It's about you.
27:44
And so when we're actively listening with someone that can follow us, whether it kill us
27:48
It's what I call Trio.
27:50
I wanna know where their pain points are.
27:53
If I go into my doctor and we have a brand new shiny machine in the corner and once all
27:58
excited about telling me about it.
28:00
And I'm going, but I'm bleeding in my shoulder.
28:02
Can you take me first?
28:04
I'd be more than happy to see what you're excited about.
28:07
But how much of a time do we get so passionate about what we do and, you know, the things that
28:12
we see that we never allow someone to walk through the door.
28:19
We're wanting to pull them through the door.
28:21
And I don't believe that is really our responsibility or even our right.
28:28
We have to be there to be able to support And to showcase whatever it is that you and I do,
28:35
for our perfect client to see us as their perfect solution, we're not selling.
28:41
It's another one of my carriers until we do not have a mandate too small, but it'll have an
28:46
obligation to share.
28:47
And those are clear in the timing.
28:51
Well, and maybe we plant seeds, and we never know where the harvest is, but the more care.
28:56
Do you know that there's a percentage of those individuals that will see us and want to
29:00
connect with us?
29:02
Absolutely.
29:02
And, you know, I've been doing some reading just on social media and business.
29:08
And, the one point, there's, book that I'm reading, and then she talks a little bit about
29:14
what's in it for them, not what it what's in it for me.
29:18
Because if I am truly, like you're saying, just cross pollinating and talking about
29:23
authenticity and being myself and whoever's in front of me, I'm captivated with whatever
29:29
they're bringing, hopefully I do make a difference in their lives and then eventually
29:34
people connect with you.
29:37
But a lot of times in business, and I, I'm sure you have a lot to say about social media is
29:41
that a lot of people, it's what's in it for me.
29:44
You know, how many likes, how many those types of things versus saying, what is it that people
29:49
out there wanted to hear of Gary Barnes, or Roxanne Derhodge, it's really we wanna know
29:55
what they need in order to be able to, help them out.
29:59
It's not about us in any way.
30:02
We become, I I think, collaborative, keeping their vision in mind and trying to figure out
30:09
step by step alongside them to be able to assist them to get what they need.
30:13
Yeah.
30:13
One of my, clients is a coach that he asked me a quite only a couple of ago.
30:19
And he goes, how do I convert higher numbers?
30:23
And I said, well, let me ask you a question.
30:26
A known for doing that.
30:27
That's a phrase that I think we all can really relate to.
30:31
I'm very pathetic.
30:32
I I want to ask questions So the person is answering their question, not my answer.
30:38
It's their answer.
30:39
But I I said, so what you're asking me is, how can you manipulate somebody to do what you want
30:45
them to do in your timing.
30:50
What response did you get then?
30:51
It was silent.
30:52
You know, o c r a d.
30:55
You know, I was like, This is a heart center.
30:59
He's a 7th degree black belt.
31:00
I mean, this guy is so vivid.
31:04
He had no reality of what he was asking, and it changed everything now.
31:09
And all of a sudden, business has exploded just into and that was a mental shift.
31:16
Because it isn't about us.
31:17
We don't have the right to, you know, the 7 tricks to convert somebody to get that mail
31:22
into a gas That's so cool to me.
31:27
We don't like it being done to us.
31:29
So why would we want to go to someone?
31:32
No.
31:32
And none of us like to be sold too.
31:35
If we like something and, eventually, you know, we may be kicking around for a bit but
31:41
eventually we'll come back to what we like and and make up our own decisions, but we want the
31:46
information.
31:47
And I think that's what the thing is, you know, It's about relationship, right?
31:51
If someone thinks that they're gonna be able to close someone, you know, based on the funnel,
31:56
you know, I'm supposed to boot, have a certain amount of people in a certain period of time,
32:00
then they're losing, track of what's important, which is eventually people will make that
32:07
decision, but if they feel no emotional connection in any way, then they're not gonna
32:11
even consider you as an option.
32:13
Well, he asked me, how can I get better numbers?
32:16
I said, share your story with more people.
32:19
Absolutely.
32:20
Absolutely.
32:20
I liked really the answer.
32:22
And so you're showcasing.
32:24
You're allowing the people it it could be the right thing for that person, but the long
32:28
timing, we don't know.
32:30
And so our job is to open the door.
32:33
Their job is they have a choice to walk through it.
32:36
And it's always open.
32:38
So now we make them aware of opportunity.
32:41
So for anybody out there that maybe is in a business or, you know, thinking about starting
32:47
a business or a coaching business or a practice or something like that.
32:53
And What would be some tips, some early tips that you would give people?
32:58
I I heard one you just said, you know, just build a relationship.
33:01
Obviously, what what else what are some things that people can should actually consider, as
33:06
they were kind of framing to, you, you know, begin, business of some sort.
33:10
Well, and that's a great question, Martin, because most people did dive in and having no
33:15
idea what, you know, they're really doing.
33:17
They have the concept.
33:18
Steven's gonna be really coined to start with the end in mind.
33:22
And really go out the 3, 5, 10 years depending upon how long you want to do that particular
33:29
business.
33:30
What do you want as a result for yourself?
33:33
Now that may sound contrary to what we were just talking about, but it isn't.
33:38
If you're not part of the equation, you're not part of the solution.
33:42
And so you have to make sure that that piece of it.
33:45
You're including yourself in the benefit of why you're doing what you're doing.
33:49
And so but at the moment that you have that, then you can walk it back and say, okay.
33:54
What does my perfect client look like?
33:56
Who's my tribe?
33:58
Where do they hang out?
34:00
When would what would social media is really critical.
34:03
It's about relationships, and it's not social selling.
34:08
One of my good friends is, we're actually at their colos, where it's indicated radio show
34:13
here.
34:14
And one of the things they do, it's it's they say, don't come on and say, buy my stuff.
34:20
But go by myself, buy my stock, and we're so inundated with that.
34:24
It's about looking at a process that allows someone to how can you showcase in a positive
34:31
way?
34:32
Another one of my garyisms is that I am not better than I am in different form.
34:37
So identify your unique talents, traits, your product, your service.
34:43
I think one of the, biggest challenges for us as, in any of business, and sometimes we even
34:50
fall into this as we become seasoned business owners.
34:54
Is that we fall into the trap of telling people what we do and how we do it.
34:59
They don't care.
35:00
Mhmm.
35:00
So really going beyond what is it that is relevant and what is their benefit?
35:06
And so here's something else that I I just put in to a talk last weekend.
35:11
And I and I came out of my coaching.
35:12
I went, that's pretty good.
35:15
The two two word things.
35:18
One is so what?
35:20
So when you're explaining yourself, you're showcasing yourself in somebody's lives, but so
35:26
well, it's a period.
35:28
If we transition and say, go back, it's a never ending plateau.
35:35
And so when we're writing we want people to say, well, if I do this so that I can do that
35:42
and I do that so I can do that.
35:45
So it's always about them.
35:47
How do they implement it?
35:48
It's not just a cool idea or a, it's so bad, what, for them?
35:53
So if we start asking ourselves, okay, I have this great book with this great product, this
35:58
great course, this great coaching, whatever it may be, so that.
36:04
Now showcase the show that.
36:06
That makes the usability.
36:07
We're not showing
36:11
them Yeah.
36:12
If I go into a a auto dealership, I'm an expensive driver.
36:17
What do you think that my first concern or my to talk to firms about by the call.
36:24
You want me to guess again?
36:25
Hopefully, I get it right this time.
36:28
I'm gonna see, comforts and, safety.
36:35
Okay.
36:36
It's closed.
36:36
I wanted to go faster, McCool.
36:40
Okay.
36:41
Okay.
36:42
Wow.
36:42
My my expresses.
36:43
So I am a convertible.
36:45
Okay.
36:45
You know, in the top down, more than people in real life.
36:49
Yeah.
36:49
I I want it to go faster and look cool.
36:52
Right.
36:53
If a salesperson brings me in and tells me all of the mechanics and the gas mileage and
36:58
whatever, I hear blah blah blah gas, blah blah blah engine.
37:02
I don't care.
37:03
I I'm they're not listening to who I am and what's important to me.
37:09
And so really doing this work for ourselves upfront with whatever the product or service is
37:15
that we wanna take to the community.
37:17
And do your due diligence with the, let's say, a home study first.
37:23
A a lot of people are looking at how to get into internet selling.
37:28
Shopping carts and doing making money while we're asleep.
37:31
I don't know anyone on the circuit that creates a total program and then releases it.
37:37
What we normally do is do 2 or 3 list lesson, release it and see if our community wants it.
37:44
Not that they need it, but do they want it?
37:47
And then we know what the rest of it is that we can complete in the, you know, the
37:52
dissemination of that practice.
37:55
But so much of the time, we go off from what people mean and what people want.
37:59
I mean, health care professionals that I work with, I ask them.
38:04
Do people want to be healthy in the United States?
38:08
And they go, oh, of course they do.
38:09
I go, then can I ask you a question?
38:12
Why is McDonald's the number one restaurant in the United States?
38:17
And I go, oh, I go, what do they really want?
38:20
They want it to taste good.
38:22
They want it fast, and they want it cheap.
38:24
Mhmm.
38:25
Mhmm.
38:25
I didn't help you in there at all.
38:28
Right.
38:28
Right.
38:29
Now some of these fast food places are health showcase and they have healthy alternate.
38:35
Right.
38:36
It was coming to the market.
38:38
But when we really look at it,
38:40
is it really healthy?
38:41
Is it healthier?
38:42
Right.
38:43
Right.
38:43
Right.
38:45
Not extremely healthy, but it kinda fits somewhere in the category.
38:49
So Liminate somebody else.
38:51
So what what I hear you saying, though, is for people is to also think where what do I want?
38:56
And then from that space, then go out and build or or track the business that you want that
39:02
could also fit in your life because oftentimes you'll hear a lot of people say, you know, I
39:07
value family, but then they're they built these businesses, and they're never with their
39:10
family, or they, you know, they value, you know, being at home at 5 o'clock, but they're
39:16
on a train plan or an automobile, because they've built this business.
39:19
So it's, again, we go back to that whole concept of connection and really kind of going
39:23
back to that space, as the beginning point so that when you do build something, you are
39:28
actually building it so it fits for your lifestyle, but also that you're, you're
39:32
listening to your customer you're understanding their needs and thinking about it.
39:38
And so that, that next step would be what can I do next to help them assist them along along
39:45
the way?
39:45
Does that make sense?
39:46
It does.
39:47
You know, it it virtually what I did with the coaching.
39:51
Because I listened to the customer, and I gave them what they were asking for.
39:55
So that's a good point.
39:57
Just listen.
39:58
And then once you listen, then that gives you more information.
40:01
About what your marketplace is asking for.
40:04
Many of my products and services now are because they have I continue to listen.
40:09
Right.
40:10
Right.
40:11
I I never planned on doing certain things.
40:14
It's all good.
40:15
So, Gary, this has been a fantastic talk.
40:18
I think we could probably talk for hours, by the way, we talk.
40:20
But, is there any last words that you would like to share, with with the listeners,
40:28
anything, that you'd like to kind of share before you go, along with letting them know
40:32
where they can, get ahold of you.
40:34
Oh, sure.
40:36
My biggest suggestion is if you are in touch with a mission, a vision for yourself, launch
40:42
it adjust.
40:44
Take the leap.
40:45
You'll be glad you did.
40:47
One of the things that I am many times with is your worst day is you is the day you meet the
40:53
man or woman.
40:54
You could have that.
40:56
Yeah.
40:56
Opportunities around us all the time.
40:59
It's okay.
41:00
You're going to have things that don't work out.
41:02
Don't have things I look at.
41:03
You never planned on having anything to look out.
41:06
And, you know, one of the things that I never dreamed on doing was the boot camp.
41:10
And now it's turned into a 3 day, you know, intensive content driven event.
41:16
I do twice a year.
41:17
We were talking about it earlier.
41:19
The program.
41:21
The next one here, you people can check it down at breakthroughbusinessmastery.com.
41:27
And, you know, the phenomena, we keep the investment to come ridiculously low, but I do
41:33
it in a investment to where money does not become a challenge for people to attend.
41:39
And I know that as I'm getting over, my job now is to plant seeds for trees that I will have it
41:46
sit on.
41:47
And that that part of it is exciting for me because we're enabling people to go out and
41:53
touch others.
41:55
When I was twenty, I wanted to be Dante, change the world.
41:59
I have my universe at judging your university.
42:02
When you reach out and ask if I'd be willing to do this program, will you, my immediate
42:07
response or those calls?
42:09
You know, and here's just sort of you.
42:11
I'm here to serve your clients for you.
42:14
You know, it's not not for me to judge, but to help you expand your tribe so you have a bigger
42:22
impact with people that I will never need.
42:25
Right.
42:25
Yeah.
42:26
If people wanna reach out to me, Gary, at garybarnesinternational.com, I have everything
42:32
really simple.
42:32
My website is Larry Barnes.
42:35
International dotcom.
42:37
Alright.
42:37
Sure.
42:38
So you're easy to find.
42:39
You're easy to find.
42:40
So garybarnsinternational.com.
42:44
And, this has been such a pleasure Gary.
42:46
From the day I'm I reached out to you, on LinkedIn.
42:49
You have been everything, you're such a giving, soul and, and some of the things that you
42:55
shared with me up.
42:56
I've implemented just by a conversation.
42:58
So, your, your gratefulness is, it, it far shines you.
43:02
I've never met in person, but I feel like I know you.
43:05
And you probably will see me in July.
43:08
So hopefully you've enjoyed this today.
43:11
Again, we talk about getting connected, being authentic, like, you know, my mission is in, in
43:17
the world with people.
43:18
So if you're liking what you from me, you can go, and to my website at roxanderbodge.com
43:25
forward slash sex.
43:26
So now this doesn't seem funny, but it's gonna help you get a 2, video series that will allow
43:32
you to get a lot more connected in your intimate relationships, something that I know
43:36
many people, are often, want to know up for.
43:40
So thank you so much again, Gary, and, hopefully we'll see you in Colorado soon.
43:45
And, for my listeners, we'll talk to you again next week.
43:48
Take care.
44:10
Showing authentic living with Roxanne.
44:13
Every Thursday, 11 AM turn on Global Boys Radio.