Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #595 From the Doctor's Desk

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#595 From the Doctor's Desk · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the
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  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, teenagers who have stronger social networks are far less
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  Speaker 2: likely to experienced anxiety and depression. The quality of friendships,
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  Speaker 2: the quality of relationships is absolutely essential. It's just critical.
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  Speaker 3: It doesn't it really does.
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  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, My Mum
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  Speaker 1: and Dad.
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  Speaker 2: Now the most requested episode that we ever get from
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  Speaker 2: one person on the Happy Families podcast. This is the
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  Speaker 2: one that everyone looks forward to every month.
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  Speaker 3: I thought it was book club.
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  Speaker 2: It's the doctor's Desk. Today we're going to dive into
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  Speaker 2: some parenting science. Now have a look at what we
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  Speaker 2: can do to help your family be happier. I'm doctor
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  Speaker 2: Justin Colson here with Kylie, my wife, among our six kids,
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  Speaker 2: and we have got three studies that primarily focus on
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  Speaker 2: little kids. Today we're talking about preschoolers. We're going to
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  Speaker 2: have a conversation as well about helping babies to sleep more.
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  Speaker 2: And there's a conversation to be had some new science
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  Speaker 2: around how mothers calm their distressed infants with soothing signals
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  Speaker 2: and how postpartum depression disrupts the process so, Kylie, which
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  Speaker 2: one would you like to start with today? Where should
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  Speaker 2: we go?
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  Speaker 3: You ask me this every week.
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  Speaker 2: I've just started the top. Well, i've lost the top.
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  Speaker 2: Where's the top?
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  Speaker 3: Preschool play with friends?
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  Speaker 2: Okay, this is a really fun one. So essentially, at
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  Speaker 2: the University of Cambridge, some researcher has got a whole
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  Speaker 2: lot of data from almost seventeen hundred children at ages
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  Speaker 2: three and seven. So we've got a nice longitudinal study,
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  Speaker 2: really great design, heaps and heaps of kids in there.
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  Speaker 2: And what we've got here is the first clear evidence
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  Speaker 2: that the ability to play with peers has a protective
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  Speaker 2: effect on mental health. We're talking specifically about the play process,
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  Speaker 2: not just having friends, but the ability to play. Connection
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  Speaker 2: is at the heart of our well being. But this
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  Speaker 2: research shows that it starts even in those preschool years
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  Speaker 2: and extends into childhood. So basically, those with better peer
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  Speaker 2: playability at the age of three consistently showed fewer signs
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  Speaker 2: of poor mental health four years later, And the research
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  Speaker 2: says significantly this protective link between peer play and mental
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  Speaker 2: health held true even for subgroups of children who were
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  Speaker 2: particularly at risk of mental health problems. So, in essence,
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  Speaker 2: what the findings seem to suggest is that when we
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  Speaker 2: give young kids who might be vulnerable to mental health
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  Speaker 2: issues access to well supporter opportunities to play with their peers,
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  Speaker 2: like at playgroups or down at the park, or with
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  Speaker 2: the neighbors or the preschool, whatever it could be, it
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  Speaker 2: can be a really, really empirically valid way to help
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  Speaker 2: them to have longer term better mental health.
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  Speaker 3: It's interesting we're talking about a longeritudinal study of three
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  Speaker 3: and seven year olds. It breaks my heart to think
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  Speaker 3: that we're having conversations about mental health challenges in our
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  Speaker 3: seven year olds.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it really brings at home how serious this stuff is.
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  Speaker 2: I mentioned that it was the University of Cambridge study,
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  Speaker 2: but it's actually based on Australian data, the Growing Up
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  Speaker 2: in Australia Study. It looks at these kids born between
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  Speaker 2: March two thousand and three and February two thousand and four, so,
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  Speaker 2: like I said, just under seventeen hundred Australian kids, and
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  Speaker 2: looking at the different types of peer plays, simple games,
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  Speaker 2: imagine if pretend play gold directed activities like building a
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  Speaker 2: tower from blocks, collaborative games like hide and seek, all
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  Speaker 2: that sort of stuff. And basically the more they were play,
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  Speaker 2: for the better they did, the less likely it was
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  Speaker 2: that they would experience mental health problems like hyperactivity, conduct disorder,
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  Speaker 2: emotional problems, peer problems. At age seven, they just did better.
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  Speaker 2: Even the ones that were highly reactive when they were young,
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  Speaker 2: they did better when they were seven because they were
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  Speaker 2: able to have that high quality play with their peers.
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  Speaker 3: The research just keeps coming back so strong that play
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  Speaker 3: is such an important part about children's progression and development,
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  Speaker 3: and yet we still haven't got the message, have we.
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  Speaker 2: What I think is really curious here as well, though,
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  Speaker 2: is the standard instruction to parents who have got young
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  Speaker 2: kids that are structing is, well, we've got to get
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  Speaker 2: parents into a parenting course. And there's certainly value in
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  Speaker 2: helping parents to upskill themselves and become better parents. But
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  Speaker 2: what's curious to me is if we can help the
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  Speaker 2: kids to get access to having their needs met through
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  Speaker 2: peer play and through physical activity and through things that
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  Speaker 2: we know burst well being, that we might actually move
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  Speaker 2: the needle further and faster. We might do more to help.
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  Speaker 2: Because there are so many risk factors that jeopardized children's
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  Speaker 2: mental health, and so many of those are beyond parental control.
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  Speaker 2: But when the kids have got strong social networks and
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  Speaker 2: strong play opportunities, it makes an enormous difference for their
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  Speaker 2: well being.
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  Speaker 3: For a split second there, I had a mental memory
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  Speaker 3: of one of our children, and as a three year old,
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  Speaker 3: I used to take her and a best friend to
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  Speaker 3: the shops, and without fail, I would have these old
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  Speaker 3: ladies who would follow me around the supermarket as I
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  Speaker 3: did the groceries, and they would inevitably end up stopping
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  Speaker 3: me and said, we've been following you now for the
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  Speaker 3: last five minutes. And those two three year olds have
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  Speaker 3: not stopped talking. They're worse than two old ladies nittering.
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  Speaker 3: And I just even today, we don't have little ones
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  Speaker 3: around us anymore. But whenever I see young children engaged
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  Speaker 3: in play, I just have to stop. I love it.
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  Speaker 3: I love seeing the way their faces are animated and
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  Speaker 3: they light up, and the little conversations they have.
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  Speaker 2: This research, while it's looking at these kids from age
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  Speaker 2: three through seven, it's applicable at every age. Teenagers who
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  Speaker 2: have stronger social networks are far less likely to experience
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  Speaker 2: anxiety and depression, Adults who have strong social networks far
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  Speaker 2: less likely to experience anxiety and depression, and any other
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  Speaker 2: range of mental health challenges. The quality of friendships, the
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  Speaker 2: quality of relationships is absolutely essential. It's just critical.
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  Speaker 3: It really matters, doesn't it.
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  Speaker 2: It really does.
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  Speaker 3: So Number two, we're talking about how mothers calm their
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  Speaker 3: children with soothing signals, and postpartum depression actually interrupts or
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  Speaker 3: severs those signals.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so most parents know it, even if they can't
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  Speaker 2: prove it. When a baby becomes distressed, mum seems to
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  Speaker 2: have this magical, unique power to soothe and calm that
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  Speaker 2: little baby with gentle, tough and you.
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  Speaker 3: Often mums don't even need to say anything in the room.
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  Speaker 3: That's it, and your child instantly calms down. Just that
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  Speaker 3: visual of mum is often enough.
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  Speaker 2: But that doesn't seem to happen so much with new
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  Speaker 2: mums who are experiencing postpartum depression. It seems to affect well. Statistically,
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  Speaker 2: about twenty percent of mums who give birth will then
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  Speaker 2: experience PPD and their ability to engage with and suit
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  Speaker 2: their baby is significantly diminished. So a handful of researchers
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  Speaker 2: got together and at York University in the UK, they
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  Speaker 2: did a really interesting study with parents who are dealing
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  Speaker 2: with distressed infants trying to help them to soothe, to
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  Speaker 2: help their babies to soothe. And essentially what they did
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  Speaker 2: was they monitored mum and then monitored bub during a
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  Speaker 2: distress scenario. So minor distress, nothing that's going to cause
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  Speaker 2: any long term damage to the baby. But essentially mums
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  Speaker 2: and babies went through three different phases of interaction. In
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  Speaker 2: the play phase, mums played with their infants like they
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  Speaker 2: normally would. They sang and they talked and they touched.
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  Speaker 2: Then there was what they called the still face phase,
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  Speaker 2: where mums were told, you don't touch the baby, you
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  Speaker 2: don't speak to the baby. You maintain eye contact, but
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  Speaker 2: you have an expressionless poker face. So the infant becomes
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  Speaker 2: distressed and agitated because they're making a bid for connection
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  Speaker 2: and mums not really responding. There's eye contact, but there's
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  Speaker 2: no other indication of response. And then the final reunion
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  Speaker 2: phase is this is the folkus of the study. Mums
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  Speaker 2: are now permitted to re engage with the distressed infant
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  Speaker 2: just like they did in phase one, soothing and touching
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  Speaker 2: and singing and talking and that kind of thing. And
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  Speaker 2: the mums and the babies were monitored. Their heart rates
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  Speaker 2: will monitor looking at how their emotional state is. And essentially,
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  Speaker 2: when mums were able to be nice and calm, the
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  Speaker 2: baby calmed down really quickly and soothed really quickly, Whereas
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  Speaker 2: when mums stayed distressed, when her heart rate remained elevated,
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  Speaker 2: when she was still kind of agitated about her baby's distress,
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  Speaker 2: it took a lot longer for the baby to calm down.
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  Speaker 2: Just highlights how important it is for parents to and
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  Speaker 2: it's so hard, so hard, especially if they're experiencing depression
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  Speaker 2: or if they're experiencing a lack of support, but the
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  Speaker 2: importance of them being in an environment where they can
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  Speaker 2: be calm, where they can feel like they've got some
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  Speaker 2: self efficacy, they can feel like they're in control. Because
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  Speaker 2: when parents have got that, when mums have got that
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  Speaker 2: sense of I've got this, their heart rate stays low,
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  Speaker 2: the baby seems to feed off that there's reciprocal loop
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  Speaker 2: going and they do better. So I thought that was
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  Speaker 2: a fascinating study. I'm on worth sharing having actually.
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  Speaker 3: Gone through this process with one of our children in
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  Speaker 3: quite a significant way. You know, as you were talking,
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  Speaker 3: the thought occurred to me that regardless of what people
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  Speaker 3: are seeing on the outside, when you're struggling in that
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  Speaker 3: deep dark place. There is such an internal turmoil going on. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: and you can't calm anyone when you're not calm.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because emotion is contagious. And then you become
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  Speaker 2: aware that you're not calm, and you start to get
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  Speaker 2: even more anxious that you're not calm, which only exacerbates
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  Speaker 2: the wall.
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  Speaker 3: And then the guilt sets in because you should be
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  Speaker 3: able to calm your baby, but you can't even you
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  Speaker 3: just can't.
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  Speaker 2: So important to have the support that's necessary and so
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  Speaker 2: important to be able to just breathe, relax and pull
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  Speaker 2: it together. Hard research to hear about, but important if
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  Speaker 2: we want to be able to help mums, particularly during
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  Speaker 2: that postpartum period.
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  Speaker 3: So after the break, let's talk about the last study
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  Speaker 3: in relation to baby sleep.
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  Speaker 2: And I can't help myself. I'm going to check forth
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  Speaker 2: one in because I just love talking about this stuff.
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  Speaker 2: We're going to throw it because this has all been
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  Speaker 2: about little kids. We're going to throw on in for
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  Speaker 2: the parents of big kids as well. This one is
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  Speaker 2: about mother and father connectedness and involvement during early adolescence.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: The twenty first century is a tricky time to be
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: a teen. Girl, alcohol, drugs, mental health concerns, body image issues, technology, sex.
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  Speaker 2: Our daughters face all these and more. The Happy Families
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Misconnection Summit brings together the best modern day experts on
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: teen girls to show you how to stay connected with
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: your daughter and help her face these challenges head on,
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: available online via video at the Happy Families webshop.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time
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  Speaker 3: poor parent who just wants answers now and you've done
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  Speaker 3: it now, there's two more studies, so.
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  Speaker 2: We got to go fast because I just love talking
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  Speaker 2: about the science.
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  Speaker 3: All right, So the next study is on baby sleep.
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  Speaker 2: Yep comes out.
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  Speaker 3: What have they found?
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  Speaker 2: Comes out of Penn State. Researchers have basically trained new
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  Speaker 2: mums in skills that help newborns to sleep more during
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  Speaker 2: the night, and the research shows that second kids and
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  Speaker 2: those families also slept longer. Every parent wants to know
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  Speaker 2: how in the world do we do this? And what
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  Speaker 2: the basic findings have been is that if parents can
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  Speaker 2: do a handful of things, the kids do a whole
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  Speaker 2: lot better. So we will link to the details of
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  Speaker 2: this in the show notes, but here's what the research
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  Speaker 2: has found. So basically, the study trained mothers to at
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  Speaker 2: bedtime be responsive to their kids. Responsiveness that's the key
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  Speaker 2: word here, being involved, being responsive, being aware. They asked
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  Speaker 2: them to establish healthy routines to respond to their children
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  Speaker 2: according to their development and their needs. Did I get
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  Speaker 2: my pronunciation of development a little bit strange there? I
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  Speaker 2: meant to say development and needs and teaching children to
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  Speaker 2: soothe themselves as much as possible. Now, this isn't sleep training,
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  Speaker 2: This isn't leaving the child to quote unquote soothe themselves
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  Speaker 2: while they screen themselves to sleep. Instead, it's this really beautiful,
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  Speaker 2: responsive way of helping children. So basically, what the research
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  Speaker 2: showed was that once a regular bedtimes established, consistent bedtime
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  Speaker 2: routines are going to promote longer sleep. The routine should
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  Speaker 2: be soothing, include things like a bath and reading, avoiding
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  Speaker 2: overly stimulating activities like round play.
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  Speaker 3: Oh like kicked out off the bed?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and help kids to prepare for sleep.
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  Speaker 3: Where was that fifteen years ago?
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  Speaker 2: To help children soothe themselves to sleep, the researchers said,
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  Speaker 2: parents are encouraged to put their children to bed while
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  Speaker 2: they're drowsy but still awake. Self soothing is a valuable skill,
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  Speaker 2: and the sooner children learn it, the better they and
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  Speaker 2: their parents will sleep. So that self soothing meaning I've
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  Speaker 2: been popped into the bed and now I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: go to sleep, and everything's calm and soothing and safe.
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  Speaker 2: It's not saying the child's screaming their head off and
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  Speaker 2: they've got to learn how to soothe themselves. That's not
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  Speaker 2: what they're saying. And what they're also highlighted is that
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  Speaker 2: because night waking is inevitable, especially with little kids, newborns, infants,
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  Speaker 2: they're hungry, they're wet, whatever it might be. Parents, rather
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  Speaker 2: than expecting that the child has to be fed every
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  Speaker 2: single time, might just use a light of touch soothing
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  Speaker 2: method like holding or rocking and feeding, but only when
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  Speaker 2: there's proper distress. Sometimes they're just disturbed and they need
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  Speaker 2: a little pat they need a little song, and they
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  Speaker 2: go back off. So it's really just a gentle response
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  Speaker 2: to kids who are waking up. It's all kind of
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  Speaker 2: common sense, and yet there are so many books out
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  Speaker 2: there from so many so called experts who teach exactly
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  Speaker 2: the opposite, and there are so many myths out there
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  Speaker 2: about what kids need at that time of night. So
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  Speaker 2: I just thought it was a really nice study that
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  Speaker 2: reinforced all the stuff that we know that seems to
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  Speaker 2: work best.
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  Speaker 3: One of the things that I recognized pretty early on
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  Speaker 3: was when I would get up in the middle of
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  Speaker 3: the night, I just left all the lights off, kept
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  Speaker 3: everything low and quiet, and that definitely helped in most
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  Speaker 3: cases to resettle the kids before I was able to
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  Speaker 3: go back to sleep.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, So the last study that I want to talk about,
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  Speaker 2: just for only one minute because our time is up,
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  Speaker 2: is the importance of connectedness and involvement during early adolescents.
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  Speaker 2: We've talked about little kids all the way through this podcast,
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  Speaker 2: but this is one for the parents of the bigger kids.
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  Speaker 2: So this particular study looked at how mother's and father's
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: connectedness and involvement, both at an individual level and a
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  Speaker 2: collective level, influenced the lives of their kids. So the
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  Speaker 2: researchers asked mums and dads about their connectedness and the
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  Speaker 2: degree to which they're involved in their kids, and how
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  Speaker 2: to look at the children's problem behaviors. So we're talking
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  Speaker 2: about externalizing acting out, and we're talking about internalizing that's
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  Speaker 2: anxiety and depression sort of things, and also the positive outcomes,
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  Speaker 2: like how pro social the kids were and how hopeful
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  Speaker 2: they were. We spoke about hope just recently on the podcast.
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  Speaker 2: Looking at early adolescents, so we've got the average age
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  Speaker 2: of the child being around about eleven twelve years of age,
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  Speaker 2: And what the research showed, even after controlling for the
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  Speaker 2: child's age and gender and their ability to self regulate,
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  Speaker 2: is that mums and dads actually make different contributions, primarily
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  Speaker 2: as a function of the child's outcomes. So dad, but
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  Speaker 2: not mum, connectedness and involvement were negatively related to adolescents
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  Speaker 2: internalizing and externalizing behavior. In other words, the more that
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  Speaker 2: dad is connected and involved, the less likely it is
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  Speaker 2: that early adolescents are going to experience anxiety and depression
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  Speaker 2: or that they're going to act out in rebellious kinds
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  Speaker 2: of ways. For mum, what the research showed was that
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  Speaker 2: the more connected and involved she was, the more the
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  Speaker 2: kids were pro social and the more hope they exhibited.
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  Speaker 2: So really really curious to me that mums and dads
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  Speaker 2: have different roles in terms of the psychological well being
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  Speaker 2: of their kids. But when they work in a complementary way,
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  Speaker 2: the kids thrive. They're less likely to have problem behavior,
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  Speaker 2: they're less likely to have psychological difficulty, they're more likely
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: to behave in positive, pro social ways, and they're more
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: likely to be hopeful about the future. So that's everything
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: that we've got for today's podcast. You can see why
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  Speaker 2: this is people's favorite, right, all this great research, all
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  Speaker 2: this great stuff to talk about when it comes to parenting,
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  Speaker 2: so great. All right, tomorrow, it's all to do better.
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  Speaker 2: Tomorrow we'll talk about how we're doing as a family,
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  Speaker 2: what we can do better, or what we've really been
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: winning with this week they have found these podcast is
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  Speaker 2: produced by Justin Rowland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is
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  Speaker 2: our executive producer. For more info, you can find all
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: of these studies in our show notes, and if you'd
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  Speaker 2: like to know more about making your family happier, please
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: visit us at happy families dot com dot au.