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Why Do Some Youth Ministries Feel ALIVE & Others DEAD? · Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Today we're going to take a deep dive into answering the question why do some youth ministries feel alive and some feel dead?
0:18
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, the number one podcast to help you grow the size and health of your youth ministry.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: My name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: And today's episode was an idea from a listener brought to you by Luke Kimmel.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: Not just any listener.
0:36
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say he's not just is there just a listener?
0:40
SPEAKER_01: No.
0:41
SPEAKER_01: Just not.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: But Luke, we've known Luke for a while because he's in our YMGA course and he is kind of like our youth ministry friend.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
0:52
SPEAKER_01: So he emailed us a few ideas.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: And so I've I'm picking one of his ideas, but I'm turning it into a part two for another one of his ideas.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: So this is going to be a two-part thing because he had an idea.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: He said, Why do some youth groups feel alive and others feel dead?
1:11
SPEAKER_01: And I thought, okay, that's a really good part one.
1:15
SPEAKER_01: Because then his second, well, he had like five, but another one of his ideas.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: Jeez, Luke, was about vision.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: And I wanted to talk about vision in this episode.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: And then I started writing the content.
1:33
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, this is a whole episode.
1:35
SPEAKER_01: So otherwise, we're gonna be here for an hour and a half.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be like Joe Rogan, three hour kind of thing.
1:41
SPEAKER_01: So I don't want to do that.
1:42
SPEAKER_01: We're youth pastors, we got a lot to do.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: Like, tell us what we need to know.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: So today we're talking about why answering the question that Luke asked, why do some youth groups feel alive and others feel dead?
1:53
SPEAKER_01: I thought that was a really good question.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: And as we go into it, I'm gonna kind of rephrase it and put it through the lens, why do some youth groups have quote it, like the it factor?
2:08
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's what Luke's talking about.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: And the reason why I'm gonna put it through that lens is because this year I read such a great book.
2:16
SPEAKER_01: I think I may have mentioned it on the podcast before.
2:19
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
2:19
SPEAKER_01: We've done a lot of episodes, can't remember every single one, but Craig Rochelle, um, I love his leadership content.
2:26
SPEAKER_01: And he wrote a book called Lead Like It Matters.
2:30
SPEAKER_01: And he talks about how some churches have like an it factor and some don't.
2:36
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, what is it?
2:39
SPEAKER_01: You know, like you kind of know when you walk into a place or when you experience a church for the first time and you're just like, what is that it?
2:47
SPEAKER_01: And then you kind of know when it's not there.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: And so he tries to answer that question like, what is the it factor?
2:53
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not gonna go through all of his things.
2:56
SPEAKER_01: I highly recommend the book.
2:57
SPEAKER_01: Can you link it below, Jeff?
2:58
SPEAKER_00: I will and I will.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: I don't, this is the kind of book that you don't read, you study.
3:04
SPEAKER_01: And I finished it and I think I'm gonna start it all over again.
3:07
SPEAKER_01: I've been doing that lately, reading books over and over and over again because I want it to absorb.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: And this book is one of those.
3:14
SPEAKER_01: And so you'll hear me reference Craig and his book and his leadership quite often in this episode because as soon as Luke asked us that question, I'm like, this is this pairs really, really well with that.
3:27
SPEAKER_01: So, number one, why do youth groups some feel alive and have that it factor?
3:33
SPEAKER_01: I say this is because number one, they have a visible, emphasize visible way for students to serve.
3:41
SPEAKER_01: Now we know that serving, what does Jesus say?
3:46
SPEAKER_01: Don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing and all of that.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: So I don't mean visible in the sense of like we need students to get a lot of credit, but visible in the sense that people know that's available and it's a thing, and that we are allowing students to do ministry, and this isn't just adults doing ministry.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: So this is what happens when you allow students to serve in a very visible way.
4:12
SPEAKER_01: It creates a core that kind of anchors your youth group, and that core of students who are serving and involved and visible and in leadership, that core becomes a magnet.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: It's like this magnetic, buzzing, vibrating core.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: And it's a very, very it factor-ish.
4:35
SPEAKER_01: Um, because here's what I always tell my coaching clients when I'm helping them launch their student leadership team, I say when you have great leaders, like adult leaders, you're showing students here's what you can be in the future.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: And depending on how old your leaders are, that's a very distant future for some of them.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: It's like, wow, I want to be a dad like that or a mom like that, or a you know, college student like that.
5:03
SPEAKER_01: For an 11-year-old or 12-year-old, that's pretty far off.
5:07
SPEAKER_01: But when you have a student leadership team, what you're doing without knowing it is you're showing students this is what you can be tomorrow, today, right now, like six months from now.
5:20
SPEAKER_01: Like it's such an attainable goal that it's a highly motivating factor for students and their discipleship process of like, I see myself, my own counterpart appear in leadership, involved in the church, owning something, doing something, having a purpose, not just waiting around.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: Well, I wonder what my purpose is, but like being given like the keys in a sense to the church.
5:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
5:50
SPEAKER_01: And it is this highly motivating factor of if my peer can do that, so can I?
5:56
SPEAKER_01: Not, well, if me in 10 years can do it, by golly, I'll just stay on this path.
6:01
SPEAKER_01: So it creates this super magnetic core.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: So here's a question to consider for you and your youth group and the way you run things.
6:09
SPEAKER_01: On any given night or morning, Sunday morning, I always just think of youth group.
6:14
SPEAKER_01: On any given night, how many students are seen, seen in a leadership role?
6:20
SPEAKER_01: Because they have to see it.
6:21
SPEAKER_01: You can't just, well, this the kids might know that they set up the chairs.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: It's like, that's good.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: We need kids maybe setting up, but a visible role says something completely different than you got to come here early and set up chairs and nobody knew about it.
6:35
SPEAKER_01: Or do the kids only see adults in front, up on stage?
6:40
SPEAKER_01: And we've talked about different ways you can do that: worship, hand motions, musicians, singing, working at a snack shack, working in the cafe, helping set up and tear down a game in real time when everyone's there, not beforehand.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: But is there a way that students are seeing each other in the leadership role?
6:58
SPEAKER_01: There's a kid in the tech booth running, and you know, I don't know what is that for you.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: Um, we've done announcements with students, we pre-record it because you know.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: Um, and so it like they it has to be this visible role.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: So, and here's like the more spiritual aspect of it too is Craig Rochelle reminds us a lot of times we when we talk about salvation, we're always talking to people in terms of what are you saved from?
7:29
SPEAKER_01: You're saved from hell and judgment and a an eternity apart from Jesus.
7:35
SPEAKER_01: Like, wow, good that we need that.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: But we sometimes forget, what are you saved for?
7:43
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's not just I'm saved from sin, you are, but you're saved for something amazing.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: Like now that you're in the kingdom, now that you're in the family, you've been adopted in, God has a role for you.
7:57
SPEAKER_01: God, I mean, it's called participation now, and that's pretty exciting.
8:02
SPEAKER_01: Like, I wish I had gotten the opportunity to participate a lot earlier on, because I think ministry and getting involved in is what like for real saved me, you know, because I knew the truth I believed, but I had nothing to do.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: Like it was like sweet, like now what?
8:21
SPEAKER_01: And nobody took me to that now what.
8:24
SPEAKER_01: There was nowhere to go.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: I didn't really know how would one get more involved.
8:29
SPEAKER_01: I didn't see anyone my age in any kind of serving or leadership or doing purpose.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: And if I had, maybe a light bulb would have gone off of oh, when you're a young Christian, you don't just sit there, you now multiply, you um have like kingdom work to do, and it's so fulfilling.
8:50
SPEAKER_01: So we want to make sure students understand that.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: So put other students in visible leadership positions so that they see there is a spot for me, there's a next step for me, there's uh what I'm saved for waiting in front of me.
9:05
SPEAKER_01: And I think that is hugely powerful for youth groups that feel alive versus those that feel dead of just like people get bored.
9:13
SPEAKER_01: Why?
9:14
SPEAKER_01: Because they need a purpose, they need to be needed, people need to be needed, not just saved, but now needed for some like I think that's a God-given like itch, you know, because he wants to use us.
9:29
SPEAKER_01: It's our responsibility to put people in those positions.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: So gives them so much more of a sense of like, this is not just a youth group I go to, but this is my youth group.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm such a huge integral part of it, and I want you to be a part of it too.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: It's just yeah, it just changes that.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: I feel like um in their the way they perceive youth group, you know, the ownership of it is just huge.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and hopefully that permeates to church, not just youth group, you know.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, sorry, I meant that in both weekend services or because the service obviously is not just for youth group, it's a lot of your jobs are are Sunday mornings, yeah.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: We have Sunday morning jobs too, church.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: So, okay, number two what makes a youth group feel alive?
10:16
SPEAKER_01: Students are being challenged spiritually.
10:19
SPEAKER_01: We had a game-changing season when we got a worship leader who, speaking of you know, having kids in visible roles, she has students leading worship alongside her all the time.
10:34
SPEAKER_01: And I love that.
10:35
SPEAKER_01: But here's another secret sauce to that.
10:38
SPEAKER_01: A lot of times, churches, especially smaller churches, and we did this for a long time.
10:43
SPEAKER_01: So I did the same thing, and I understand, is they will they don't have any worship people for youth specifically.
10:50
SPEAKER_01: So what they'll do is they'll put youth in the worship service with the adults.
10:56
SPEAKER_01: Now, inherently that's not a horrible idea, but what can have the potential to happen, and I've seen this happen, is if the adults are not engaged visibly with worship, we are raising the same type of child.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: Like if they don't see adults full out and abandoned worship, they have nothing that will model that for them.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: And it becomes very stagnant.
11:27
SPEAKER_01: The other part of that is usually when you put adults and students together for worship, the song choice and the energy is always aimed at the adults, not the student.
11:39
SPEAKER_01: So worship is worship, and I understand that.
11:42
SPEAKER_01: However, when you connect with a song and a message and a tempo, and like music can be really open up your spiritual senses.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: And if you are not connecting, you equate well, then I just don't like worship or I don't know how to worship or I don't enjoy worship.
12:06
SPEAKER_01: But I promise you, given the right song and the right tempo and something like a switch goes on in your heart and mind, you do.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:16
SPEAKER_01: But I think growing up, I know for me, I went to a Baptist church with my parents, and we would all be together in the worship service, and it would be the classic open your book to number 260.
12:28
SPEAKER_01: Right.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: And the pastor would just kind of like sing.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, what are you doing?
12:34
SPEAKER_01: Like, even as a kid, I'm like, what are these burn him down a little bit?
12:39
SPEAKER_01: Is this a band?
12:40
SPEAKER_01: Is this just a guy in a suit singing really loud?
12:44
SPEAKER_01: And then I'd be like, What are these lyrics?
12:46
SPEAKER_00: I don't even understand what you guys think about ever to know top line, and then you jump down to the next top line.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, And now you go to the middle line, right?
12:55
SPEAKER_00: Why wouldn't they just go in order?
12:57
SPEAKER_00: And so I'd constantly be like, Oh shoot, I lost track, I don't know which one we're at.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, same.
13:01
SPEAKER_01: There was a song that still stuck in my head from it, and it was something like up from the grave, he arose.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: And that's how, like, the guy, something, something over his foes.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, What are we even doing?
13:15
SPEAKER_01: Asking an 11-year-old to connect with that and say, it's worship because it's it's like, are the words true?
13:23
SPEAKER_01: Of course.
13:25
SPEAKER_01: You gotta package it in a way I can understand that language, you know, and so I'm very sympathetic to students, like making sure we put worship in their language, not English, but in their language, so that it doesn't seem like, what is this?
13:45
SPEAKER_01: Right, like that's what it means to worship God.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Music I would never listen to any other time.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: It saying words that I would not not normally speak in that right way, you know, it just and there's so many forms of worship that why wouldn't you just give them a form that they gravitate towards?
14:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and if other people gravitate towards them, that's okay.
14:08
SPEAKER_01: Well, and here's the thing it's Craig Rochelle would argue you do anything to reach people.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: So if your mind goes to, hey, it's not about you, get on board with this type of music, which is for somebody at some point in time.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: Well, and it's also not about you, so get on board with this kind of music, or it's all a type of music.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: One isn't bad or good, it's just types.
14:34
SPEAKER_01: And so if we want people to fully engage in worship, then we can change the type, keep the truth, keep the message, but give them something that feels like this was written for someone just like me to be able to worship God right now.
14:50
SPEAKER_01: I can't like, you know, I was recording something the other day with Doug and Josh and from DYM, and Josh's like, oh, and at the end, say this.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: And I kept trying to say it, and I'm like, he's like, that doesn't feel natural.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, because it's not, that's your word.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: Like it felt so canned when I said it, but when Josh uh Griffin said it, it sounded perfect.
15:16
SPEAKER_01: Like because it came so natural.
15:17
SPEAKER_01: He's like, Yeah, I would say this, say that.
15:19
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, da-da-da.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: I can't I can't remember what the line was.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: He's like, no, I'm like, I can't say it as cool as you.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: So I had to come up with a similar sentiment, but in my own words, you know, to deliver it the right way.
15:34
SPEAKER_01: So I feel like putting on someone else's worship song is kind of just like clunky.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: In some ways, it's almost like speaking, it would be like saying worship in a different language.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: Where you're like, I know what the words mean, but this isn't the language I speak.
15:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
15:48
SPEAKER_01: So what I'm saying is I have noticed my students take an absolute unbelievable turn in their ability to worship, the kind that you imagine, like at camp, like last night of camp worship.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: That's happening every single Tuesday night.
16:06
SPEAKER_01: Why I've identified a few factors.
16:09
SPEAKER_01: We went full band as opposed to just one acoustic.
16:14
SPEAKER_01: We played songs that resonate with this generation that are not in any way compromising gospel truth, but feel like it's their language.
16:26
SPEAKER_01: We have students on stage every single week leading their peers through worship.
16:31
SPEAKER_01: They're not, I mean, we have an adult on stage too, but in I have been doing youth ministry for 22 years, and now this is the first time I have seen students on their knees at youth group, like not just one or two rogue students.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: Like it is becoming the norm.
16:51
SPEAKER_01: They're hands up.
16:52
SPEAKER_01: Now, could you be worshiping full out without that posture?
16:55
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
16:55
SPEAKER_01: But what it's showing me is we've turned the tide for them and they're being challenged spiritually because this all-encompassing music, it's so full-bodied with the full band, you're all-encompassed, you know, and she'll even play tracks with it, and it's just so immersive, where there's nothing wrong with one acoustic guitar, it's just not an immersive experience.
17:19
SPEAKER_01: And I know for some of you, you're like, Yeah, must be nice.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm doing the best I can.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: If all you can do is an acoustic guitar right now, do it.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: Or videos.
17:27
SPEAKER_01: But I think when we have the lights down, and the only thing you can hear in this room is the music from every corner of the room and kids' voices, and the lights are down so that you're just it's like we've created this worshipful, immersive experience that you can't escape.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: I can escape one guy on an acoustic guitar.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: I can't, but I cannot escape the decibels hitting 90 something, and like, and that's just my style.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: I like big, loud, overwhelming worship.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: I that's just me.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: I know some people like it more introspective, quiet, and that could be your youth ministry culture, but just you've got to figure out what is the sweet spot for your students because now we found it.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: I've been trying for years to find it, and we found it.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: They they're the songs that are being written right now just really resonate with them, and they're amazing.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: And I think they're finding their worship voice.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, also not just with worship, but challenging them spiritually with your messages as well.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: You know, Craig Rochelle says that people right now are the generation spiritual temperature, could be described as he calls it moral therapeutic deism.
18:55
SPEAKER_01: So meaning moral, obviously, be good, therapeutic.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: They're equating faith with feeling better about yourself and deism.
19:04
SPEAKER_01: Like there is a God, but he might not be involved in every single day personal things.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: And so he says, you know, now trying to move people and moral therapeutic deism closer to the classic of like sin, repentance, and holiness.
19:22
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, Jesus is teaching, you know, in the book of John described as like Jesus is always full of grace and truth.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: And so he toes his teaching toes this perfect line of like simultaneously being offered comfort and confrontation.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: And I think that is where uh we challenge our students spiritually.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: Where does comfort and confrontation intersect?
19:51
SPEAKER_01: Because that's where grace and truth intersect.
19:53
SPEAKER_01: That's good.
19:54
SPEAKER_01: And that's what's most challenging spiritually, not just like we all feel good because we believe in a higher power and it's God, and we all feel good about ourselves, and you know, but it's like, where does that comfort and conviction?
20:08
SPEAKER_01: Because Jesus is so comforting in a lot of his words.
20:11
SPEAKER_01: My yoke is easy, my burden is light, come and find rest, but also a message of hardcore repentance and always like turn from your sin, turn, turn, turn, leave it behind, gouge out your eye, cut off your arm if you have to.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: And so it's like, whoa, like one guy embodies both so well, you know, and it's his kindness ultimately that leads people to repentance, but like trying to find that tension in your own teaching of just where is the comfort and the conviction sinking up perfectly, you know, John 114, full of grace and truth.
20:52
SPEAKER_01: So I always say I like to teach slightly above age level just to keep them very challenged and engaged.
21:03
SPEAKER_01: To I hate when they think they can predict every single thing I'm gonna do or say.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: And the secret sauce for me for that is I'm always learning and growing myself.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: So, like when I'm listening to Tim Keller or reading Tim Keller or reading John Maxwell and like just consuming such large amounts of great thinkers and great preachers, and reading my Bible, meditating on scripture every single day, my teaching inevitably will become richer.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: My growth by extension is their growth.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: If you want a Holy Spirit filled youth ministry, be a Holy Spirit filled pastor.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: There's really no way around that.
21:49
SPEAKER_01: So that's being challenged spiritually.
21:52
SPEAKER_01: That's a youth group that's alive and has it.
21:55
SPEAKER_01: Number three leaders that are invested in.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: In our ministry and in our students, we talked about student leaders being the core, the other core is our adult leaders.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: So that's where discipleship happens.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: That's like where you know they say warmth is the new cool.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: Like students way would way rather have somebody who is real with them than relevant, right?
22:25
SPEAKER_01: I think the age of the super hyper cool youth pastor has now become a long-ago parody that's not even no one's even making that parody anymore because it's so old, you know.
22:38
SPEAKER_01: Super cool youth pastor, I think is highly unnecessary.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: They want someone who's real.
22:46
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they think they want super cool, you know, they still are suckers for, you know, the latest jeans and shoes and haircut, and they're like, oh, that guy's so like such a good leader because of his shoes.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: You know, they will fall for that.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: That's kind of like the classic, like, that's what's what might draw you initially, but it's not like what keeps you.
23:07
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
23:07
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
23:08
SPEAKER_01: Right.
23:09
SPEAKER_01: Craig Groschel says, we don't recruit volunteers, we release leaders.
23:15
SPEAKER_01: And so foster that's sort of your job as the youth leader to be fostering these and stewarding this leadership capacity for your volunteer leaders.
23:26
SPEAKER_01: Are they completely bought in?
23:29
SPEAKER_01: Are they completely enthusiastic?
23:31
SPEAKER_01: Their energy permeates the group.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: So if leaders are showing up bored, disengaged, late, not on board, finding any excuse not to come, that permeates.
23:44
SPEAKER_01: And that's the difference between, you know, Luke's question again what makes something alive or dead?
23:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, when you have, for me, what do I have?
23:53
SPEAKER_01: 20 something alive youth youth leaders that are excited and can't wait to see all their students and are, you know, one of my leaders always lets this kid on his shoulders during worship, and like they can't wait for a leader round to play the game, and they're like jumping and moshing and the fast songs for worship.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: I mean, come on, what 12-year-old is like you get to hang out with these awesome adults who are so fun, like dream come true, like that's it.
24:26
SPEAKER_01: Adults standing in the back on their phone or like coming in late and not talking to kids, dead, right?
24:35
SPEAKER_01: You know, pretty simple.
24:37
SPEAKER_01: So that one's short because we're gonna talk actually more about that in part number two next week because it we're gonna talk all about vision, and I think leadership and vision are gonna go together really well.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: So I'm not gonna say too much more about that.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: Hey, quick question for you.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever felt like you were working really hard in your youth ministry every week, but you don't know what the next step is or how to grow your youth ministry?
25:04
SPEAKER_01: Well, you are not alone.
25:05
SPEAKER_01: And that is exactly why we created our course and coaching program called Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: Inside the program, we're gonna walk you step by step through strategies, systems, leadership principles that help ministries grow, both in size and in health.
25:23
SPEAKER_01: This isn't just theory, it's the exact framework we've used and taught to youth pastors all over the country and even globally.
25:31
SPEAKER_01: In addition to the course and coaching, you will also have the opportunity to join a cohort community where you can meet with other youth leaders who are on the same journey to encourage each other, share ideas, and stay accountable as you put things into practice.
25:46
SPEAKER_01: So if you're looking for a clearer path to grow your ministry, head over to grow your youth ministry.com to see everything that's included.
25:54
SPEAKER_01: Once again, that's growyouryout ministry.com.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: All right, let's get back to the episode.
25:59
SPEAKER_01: Next, hearts that are this is what Craig Rochelle says, hearts focused outward.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: And so he talks about we've had this happen recently where, you know, just when people show up at youth group or church and everyone kind of does that record scratch, like, like, what are they doing here?
26:25
SPEAKER_01: And no matter what, like how spiritual or good of a Christian some of my students are, they'll be like, they're the last person I thought I'd see at church.
26:36
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, guys, remember what church is.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: Erwin McManus said, the church is not for us.
26:46
SPEAKER_01: We are the church and we exist for the world.
26:49
SPEAKER_01: So if you are constantly like running up against students who are very judgmental, or if it's this holy huddle, or it's like we don't want any outsiders here, that is a dead church because then you don't have a heart that's outward focused toward the point of the church, which it's not supposed to be a holy huddle, like the Christian club where we all come to congratulate ourselves on being Christians.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: But imagine a hospital that just says we can't take any more patients.
27:21
SPEAKER_01: Like that's what happened during COVID.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: We can't take your kind of uh illness.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: Like we don't treat that, right?
27:29
SPEAKER_01: You know, we want what did you want?
27:31
SPEAKER_01: A bunch of healthy, shiny people coming in here.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: Like if you look at the church as a hospital, then your mindset does change, you know, when the kid who is unchurched, and you can just tell sometimes by the way they dress or the way they carry themselves or the language they use, or there's just a vibe where you're like, uh, like this seems a little we're all uncomfortable here.
28:01
SPEAKER_01: Um, like, do we genuinely care for those that are far from God?
28:07
SPEAKER_01: Like, do we say we do, but then we're really not excited to have those kinds of people at our church because then I think we're missing the entire point.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: And we were doing like an assessment of our youth ministry the other day, me and my few staff, and I was saying how proud I am of our diversity.
28:26
SPEAKER_01: We have so many different types of kids that come and all are engaged and get fed and get cared for.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: We have like the very sheltered, grew up in a Christian home, maybe homeschool kid who's totally fully engaged, joining leadership on the worship team, loving life.
28:47
SPEAKER_01: And then we have the kid whose family has never gone to church.
28:52
SPEAKER_01: They walked there by themselves because their parents work at night and they wanted somewhere to go with candy and a game, and they found us and are getting fed as well.
29:03
SPEAKER_01: And there is everything in between.
29:07
SPEAKER_01: So I think we need to ask ourselves this question: Are you close to people who are far from God?
29:14
SPEAKER_01: If you're not close to people who are far from God, you're not as close to God as you think you are, because God's heart is always with people who are far from him.
29:23
SPEAKER_01: Um, that's a pastor named Vinced.
29:26
SPEAKER_01: Vinced.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm convinced.
29:30
SPEAKER_01: Vince Antonucci.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: You got Vinced.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: Get Vinced, get wrecked.
29:37
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, remember why Jesus came.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: Jesus came for the outsiders, and he made that very clear in his ministry.
29:45
SPEAKER_01: He didn't just say that, like he went after the outsiders, he went to dinner at Matthew's house, he called out Mary Magdalene, like he went for the others.
29:57
SPEAKER_01: Um, a lot of times, the woman caught in adultery, the woman at the well, he always pursued them, always had a place for them, always had time for them, the bleedy woman, you know, just all these people that society looked down upon or was unsure of or scared of or wary of, he pursued with no fear or hesitancy at all.
30:23
SPEAKER_01: And I think we have to remember that when that type of student comes through our doors.
30:29
SPEAKER_01: And I think the way we treat those people will let our students know instinctively whether or not this is a place they can invite people.
30:37
SPEAKER_01: I think they'll know, like, oh, like my church is not for that kind of person.
30:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, my church is for this kind of person.
30:45
SPEAKER_01: And they just can tell the difference of like who will do well in this environment based on what they wear, how they act, whatever it might be.
30:56
SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm not saying we tolerate disrespect and bad behavior, but I am saying we journey with people of where they're at, and we're patient with that, and we have a place for them and not like judgy.
31:13
SPEAKER_01: And I think student leadership is a great training ground for this.
31:17
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'll tell my student leaders all the time like this is how we treat like the new class when they come in.
31:25
SPEAKER_01: Don't you dare say something like, Why are they so little?
31:28
SPEAKER_01: Like, because they're 10.
31:31
SPEAKER_01: Like you were once 10.
31:33
SPEAKER_01: So chill.
31:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, never punish someone for the year they were born.
31:38
SPEAKER_01: They cannot help that.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: So don't ever if you say that, you're in a timeout.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: Or the I because I hate when they go like they get go snacks for you, they get smaller every year.
31:50
SPEAKER_01: Guess what?
31:50
SPEAKER_01: You get bigger every year.
31:52
SPEAKER_01: That's why.
31:52
SPEAKER_01: Chill out.
31:53
SPEAKER_01: I said, your job is to make them feel welcome.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: And so our daughter, this was a sweet moment.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: We were playing Twizzle last week, and one of the fifth grade girls was like coming out of her skin with excitement.
32:06
SPEAKER_01: Like she like couldn't contain herself, and she had the hockey stick and she's like freaking out.
32:11
SPEAKER_01: And all eyes are on them.
32:13
SPEAKER_01: Like, lights go down, spotlight on, like we're about to play.
32:17
SPEAKER_01: And our daughter leans over to this fifth grader and goes, You got this.
32:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, that's what I'm talking about.
32:24
SPEAKER_01: Way to go.
32:25
SPEAKER_00: And if you don't, we will all be spoo you.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: Don't lose this for us, 50.
32:32
SPEAKER_00: 50, 50 something.
32:36
unknown: 50.
32:38
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, just like training your students like, here's how we're radically kind to people.
32:44
SPEAKER_01: You don't make fun of them for their age, their height, their, you know, like when new people come, I always say, What are you gonna say to a new person when they come?
32:55
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna invite them to sit with you.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna show them where the snack shack is, you're gonna ask them what school they go to.
33:00
SPEAKER_01: You aren't gonna look at them and side-eye them and whisper about them and like be weird because your kindness is gonna make the difference of somebody coming and hearing the gospel.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: So if you're mean, they won't come back, no matter how good my message is, or how fun the game is or how great the worship was.
33:19
SPEAKER_01: If you guys are brats, like it's over.
33:22
SPEAKER_01: So don't stand in the way of that.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: There's something called like the restaurant rule, and I might butcher it, but basically it's saying, like, if you went go to a restaurant and you have amazing service, amazing food, you know, great ambiance or whatever, you're gonna come back, you're gonna want to tell friends about it, and you you you let's say you keep coming.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: If there's a time where you go and they're like, wow, the food actually was horrible this time, and maybe the service wasn't that great or whatever, because you had so many good experiences, you can overlook the one time that wasn't that bad.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: But if the first time you go, it's all bad, there's never a second time.
34:00
SPEAKER_01: 100%.
34:01
SPEAKER_00: And it's something called the restaurant rule or something like that.
34:04
SPEAKER_00: So basically, it's like if your youth group, if someone's coming, obviously you can get the analogy, but if they're coming, they feel accepted, they have a great time, people come up and talk to them, they feel welcome, accepted, they're gonna come again.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: And then maybe after a few weeks, there's one incident where like this kid was kind of mean to me.
34:18
SPEAKER_00: They're not probably gonna see that was a one-off.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: They're not gonna hinge that and be like, and now, because of that, I'm erasing all the past and I'm never coming again.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: But is that if that's the first time, right?
34:30
SPEAKER_00: Then yeah, they might be like, not for me.
34:32
SPEAKER_01: Well, and being the first time, you're extra vulnerable too.
34:36
SPEAKER_01: Like you're freaked out, like, oh, like I don't know anyone, I'm scared.
34:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm coming for the first time.
34:42
SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, and then really quick, lastly, don't be afraid to change things up.
34:47
SPEAKER_01: I think a youth group that is dead is afraid to try new things, does if if you have something that works, if it's not broken, don't fix it.
34:58
SPEAKER_01: However, be willing to get rid of things that no longer feel like we did an event recently, and I just kind of looked at my staff.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I think it's on its course.
35:08
SPEAKER_01: I think that was, I think we're done with that now.
35:11
SPEAKER_01: And let's dream up something new to replace it with.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: Let's not just get rid of the event.
35:16
SPEAKER_01: Let's say, what can we do instead?
35:18
SPEAKER_01: And they kind of agreed.
35:20
SPEAKER_01: They're like, Yeah, it didn't feel the same that it's been feeling.
35:22
SPEAKER_01: I think it's kind of like a little tired.
35:26
SPEAKER_01: Like, I was like, Yeah, yeah, I do too.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: So I think just being willing to constantly see, let's try this.
35:36
SPEAKER_01: I tried a few new things this year.
35:38
SPEAKER_01: Half of them I loved, half of them I don't.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna keep the ones I loved.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: But if we never try, and Craig Rochelle would be like, he would say, like, leaders who are afraid a failure will never have anything that grows because you need to have for every 10 failures, you get one win.
35:59
SPEAKER_01: So, like, you're never gonna find the wins if you just don't try and are willing to let something not work, you know, and then ditch it.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: It's like, ah, I didn't like that.
36:08
SPEAKER_01: Let's try this instead.
36:10
SPEAKER_01: Or, oh, I almost liked it.
36:11
SPEAKER_01: Let's change it to this, not that, and see if it's a 10 instead of an eight, whatever it might be.
36:18
SPEAKER_01: But just be like what if people are if it's starting to feel boring or stale, or people are getting complacent, and it's like we just do this again and again, and like it's just lost its oomph, replace it with something else that can re-engage people, and that's okay.
36:36
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't think in church, other than the gospel, uh Jesus, there should be no sacred cows, you know what I mean?
36:44
SPEAKER_01: Like, there should be no things that like, well, we this is what we do because this is what we do.
36:50
SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, unless it's worshiping Jesus, the gospel, Jesus Himself, communion, like stuff that it's like, of course, we're gonna never get rid of that.
37:00
SPEAKER_01: But if it's just an event, there's something holy about that.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: It's supposed to lead people to the goal.
37:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that was for a relationship.
37:08
SPEAKER_01: Well, this isn't building relationships, so what is or this was for new people, it's not serving its purpose.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: So what is?
37:14
SPEAKER_01: Uh, this was for parents, but it's no longer serving its purpose.
37:19
SPEAKER_01: So what would?
37:20
SPEAKER_01: I think you have to constantly be evaluating and asking those questions because you can very quickly get dead.
37:26
SPEAKER_00: Get dead, get dead, get fenced on the Ministry Coach podcast.
37:36
SPEAKER_01: I feel like American Gladiator vibes.
37:40
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should just stop talking about a lot of uh WWE documentary stuff, so I feel like that's coming out.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, Hulkan has a documentary out right now.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: I've been watching that.
37:50
SPEAKER_01: He was a Christian at the end, wasn't he?
37:53
SPEAKER_00: But did you see the whole thing?
37:54
SPEAKER_00: Don't spoil it.
37:55
SPEAKER_00: I haven't seen the whole thing.
37:56
SPEAKER_01: Well, everybody knows that, Jim.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't follow Hulkan close enough to know whether or not he is a Christian.
38:02
SPEAKER_01: Well, we'll talk about it later after you watch it.
38:05
SPEAKER_00: No spoiler alerts, everybody.
38:07
SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty sure he is.
38:09
SPEAKER_01: Was um okay, so wait, is he dead?
38:13
SPEAKER_01: Do you know nothing?
38:16
SPEAKER_01: Wow, I really I really spoiled it.
38:19
SPEAKER_01: Yes, he passed away.
38:21
SPEAKER_01: Recently?
38:22
SPEAKER_01: Jeff, I gotta go.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
38:25
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, everybody.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so next time we're talking about vision because that's a really big part of all of this.
38:35
SPEAKER_00: Or next time, there's a couple episodes for part two.
38:38
SPEAKER_00: There's a couple episodes you can watch.
38:40
SPEAKER_00: We did one all about um how to start a worship band.
38:43
SPEAKER_00: So no matter where you're at in that process, this will kind of help you get from point A to point wherever you need to go.
38:49
SPEAKER_00: And then B.
38:50
SPEAKER_01: Let's just do B first.
38:51
SPEAKER_00: From A to B.
38:52
SPEAKER_00: And then B.
38:53
SPEAKER_01: And then we'll talk.
38:54
SPEAKER_01: And then we'll see.
38:55
SPEAKER_00: Student leadership.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: If you don't have a student leadership program, we did one all about how to start a student leadership team.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: And then finally, we did one on oh, you were kind of mentioning sort of how to minister to the different types of students that come to your youth ministry.
39:08
SPEAKER_00: We have an episode all about that.
39:09
SPEAKER_00: So kind of like where they're at in their uh spiritual journey and a lot of resources.
39:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like almost 300 episodes.
39:18
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
39:18
SPEAKER_00: It's unreal.
39:19
SPEAKER_01: You're welcome.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, let's do a community comment of the day.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: This comes from the Siv Div, who said, I love this first year student pastor here.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: Our church has never, at least in the past four years, held a youth service during the summer.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: This year I decided to run it through the summer.
39:38
SPEAKER_00: I guess we'll see what happens.
39:39
SPEAKER_01: Report back.
39:40
SPEAKER_00: Report back, but I have a feeling about that.
39:43
SPEAKER_00: You'll be uh happy that you did it.
39:45
SPEAKER_01: You want to know what?
39:46
SPEAKER_01: I was talking to my friend Trav about this this week, and he said, Yeah, Kristen, it's youth ministries not in California that take the summer off because everyone's like wild about we finally have good weather, everyone get out of here and do something.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: That's all the more reason to meet and be able to play the games that you can play during the I guess.
40:08
SPEAKER_00: And oh, P.S.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: I feel like California is like the one place that never has churches that have like a big grass field.
40:15
SPEAKER_00: Right.
40:15
SPEAKER_00: It's a parking lot at best, and like all these other places have a huge grass field.
40:20
SPEAKER_01: Unless you're Heather Hublin.
40:21
SPEAKER_01: She has a great grass chip.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: She is blessed.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: And Clovis.
40:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: Hi, Heather.
40:27
SPEAKER_00: Just specifically Heather.
40:28
SPEAKER_00: Only Heather.
40:29
SPEAKER_00: That's her field.
40:30
SPEAKER_00: Uh thank you, this divdiv.
40:31
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Heather Hublin, for having a great grass field and letting us.
40:35
SPEAKER_00: Letting revisit.
40:36
SPEAKER_01: I'll see you in July.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: And we thank you guys for watching and listening.
40:38
SPEAKER_00: And we'll see you next time.
40:40
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast where every week we bring you.
40:43
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, no, no.
40:45
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast where every week we bring you actionable tep.
40:49
SPEAKER_00: Tep.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: So that wasn't funny that time.
40:54
SPEAKER_00: We'll get it this time.
40:56
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, the number one podcast.