Latest / Just Us Sisters / Episode 32: Friendships After 50

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Episode 32: Friendships After 50 · Just Us Sisters

• speaker-0: Welcome to the Just Us Sisters podcast. Life doesn't come with a manual, so we made a podcast. speaker-1: Hello, I am Shelly and I am the host today. In a previous episode, we had childhood friends join us and discuss what that friendship looks like now. Today, we're talking about friendships after 50. Not necessarily that you met them in your 50s, but what it takes to maintain a friendship as we get older. First, I'd like to introduce my sisters, and then each of them will introduce their friend. Number one, Susan. Number two, Sheryl And number four, Stacey. Susan, why don't you introduce Melanie to us? speaker-2: Okay. My friend is Melanie. My friend is Alicia. And my friend is Christina. speaker-1: My friend Amy couldn't be with us tonight, but she graciously answered the questions so that I can share them with you in her absence. And I had to record them so no one can accuse me of making stuff up. Okay, so take us back. Where and how did you two actually meet? speaker-2: I know it was in nineteen eighty four because I think Tom and Susan moved to Houston in eighty four and my mother in law was Tom and Susan's realtor and she sold them the house that they bought. And so my mother in law told us, y y'all have got to go visit the church Tom had, Gulfway Baptist Church. So we did and from there we met and then I remember going to their house after that. I'm sure Susan invited us over for dinner or lunch or whatever after church. And that's really the first memory that I could come up with. speaker-1: Alicia, how about you and Sheryl speaker-2: It was my first job that I'd ever had. I think Sheryl it was your second year. Was you had our Yeah. It was my first job to teach and coach and I was so happy and just thrilled to be there, but probably walked around like a lost puppy, had no idea what I was doing. And of course, I know now anybody she meets feels like a friend the first time you meet her. So right away I mean, it we were just friends right away. And of course we coached together, so we spent a lot of time together. speaker-1: Christina, how about you and Stacey speaker-2: I do remember it was summertime. Every Sunday my husband and I would go to Hardtails Bar and Grill, kind of a Sunday fun day, and we would meet a couple of other friends there. And one Sunday Stacy and Casey came walking in on the back porch and our friend kinda yelled over to I guess he had already knew them and had them come sit at our table and then, you know, they showed up every Sunday after that for a couple of years, I think. And that's how we met speaker-1: And Amy's gonna tell you now how we met. speaker-2: So Shelly and I met when Cherokee and Dakota were about two and Sierra was about nine months old. We were in a Bible study together and I remember the leader talking about we should reach out to people outside of the study and so I felt the Lord prompting me to call Shelly over and over. And so I finally picked up the phone one day and called her and I was kind of having a hard time with motherhood at the time. And so she just came right over and our kids started playing. I had a breakdown. She assured me it was all gonna be okay. We prayed together and we laughed and it was at that moment that I realized I had a soul sister. And just her kind and caring heart I think is really just what drew me to her and I appreciate that so much. speaker-1: We're gonna start with Susan and I'm just speaker-2: And I am speaker-1: curious with this four decade friendship, what made you think okay, Melanie is a speaker-2: Melt deeper. I think that I saw the same values. We were going after the same things. We wanted a relationship with Jesus. We loved our families. She's a prayer warrior. She was on our worship team at church for years and led me into worship. I love worship and she had a beautiful voice and would lead worship. So I think that just all those combined, like she said, we've been through a lot and through it. all speaker-3: feel like. speaker-2: our our eyes stayed on the Lord, not not one another, but the Lord. And the Lord is the one who sustained our relationship in the in in the good times and in the bad. So I feel like she's definitely a keeper in that aspect because she's been committed, not just to me, but to the Lord. And that's what's kept us going all these decades. speaker-1: Well that's definitely a keeper in my book. Sheryl, how about you speaker-2: First and foremost, when I met A okay, I I'm gonna say AJ just this one time because that's what I met her as. She doesn't go by that anymore, so I just gotta interject that. First time I met her, I immediately knew that she knew Christ and that she wasn't afraid to talk about it. I loved that about her. I loved her competitive spirit because I didn't think there could be someone more competitive than me, but sh she way tops me on being competitive. No. And I'm talking about in in every sport, in every card game, in every board game. So I love that about her. I love that we were both raised in a very traditional Southern Baptist church. So we had some of the same raisings that were good and some that we, you know, had to break later in life. Break break a little bit. For some reason God always brings friends in my life that are very fashionable. And every one of them think they're gonna break me and they don't. I've been trying my whole life. speaker-3: But I'm speaker-2: I love that I always have fashionable friends 'cause I can just not worry about the way I dress, the way my hair looks, the way my non makeup looks. So that is a very funny thing that God does and I just I think it's funny. And She is so sure of herself. I was the experienced teacher there. I had that one year under my belt. So I was gonna kinda help her along. That girl, she knew more about sport basketball, track, and probably not volleyball, but than any person I ever knew. And just the way she carried herself and the all the girls loved her. I mean, she was such a great role model and she and Randy just they were just the perfect little couple. It's pretty humbling. Alicia speaker-1: That's one area you don't have to worry about eating girl speaker-2: About competing with short. speaker-1: in is fashion. No Stacy speaker-2: At what speaker-1: point did you know Christina was a keeper? speaker-2: my goodness. Probably immediately. We were a lot alike, but very different. Christina's very independent. Extremely independent. Or sh she was then, I think, more now. You're still independent, but you're enjoying homestead life more. Yes. And she's a lot younger than I am. Twenty plus years. So as much as we are alike, we are very different. We were brought up very different. But The things that stood out to me were her commitment to her husband, her commitment to helping her dad as he got older and until he passed away, her commitment to her family. And you know, we've talked about through the great times, Melanie, you brought it up, you know, the good times, the bad times. We've had some really great times, but she has shown up for me in the pri the worst times of my life when John Two passed away. They were here that night that we got home. They were here with others with food and and then one of my kids went to jail. She was there for me, you know, encouraging me that, hey, it's all right, it's okay. And he's gonna be okay. Just so as much as we are alike, we're very different. And I think that's what builds that bond that we have and helps me to get out of my comfort zone as well. Cause I have a very narrow comfort zone and she pushes me outside of that. well as Annie speaker-1: Amy said speaker-2: said we met speaker-1: in the midst of figuring out motherhood and speaker-2: I think speaker-1: because it was God orchestrated that she was in for the long haul. She's the friend I didn't know I knew and you know God directed it changes everything. Okay, speaker-2: I knew needed when it's God. So I speaker-1: Alicia, did you expect to make a new close fri in adulthood? speaker-2: Be honest. Friend is Okay. In all honesty, yes, because I'm an only child and so my life has depended on outside friendships. And it it's been my friends have been a big part of my life. So I probably am like a cling on, probably cling on to people really quickly. But I I didn't have an expectation not to meet friends. But of course you never know how those friendships are gonna play out. And of course, I feel really fortunate that ours have has lasted this long. So how about how speaker-1: What about you, Christina? speaker-2: I never saw it coming. I've always been kind of an independent person. And you know, the last friend I could think of before Stacy was probably middle school, high school. Other than that, I've always had a significant other boyfriend, something of that nature, and they were always my closest friends. So I absolutely didn't see it coming. I appreciate it so much that I have it, but no, I didn't see it coming. And Melanie? Well I've speaker-4: you know. speaker-2: known Susan so long that I almost feel like she was my childhood friend because we were kind of children when we met so many years ago. But I'd say we have a revived friendship. You know, we've always been friends for many, many years and and we've known each other, our kids knew each other, we were in the same church, we just ran with the same people, but about nine or ten years ago we started exercise it together early in the morning and walking and talking and we'd pray and we just reconnected after children were grown and we really reconnected and we have more of a bond now I think than we did in previous years. And I wanted to share something. It was funny because today I was reading some Bible reading this morning and it was about relationships. And it said that you have to have the right perspective and understanding that you can't Ask for a friend to do for you what only the savior can do because friends are not qualified to be your personal messiah. And you know, I think that's another thing with Susan is that I know that she's not gonna be my be all do all and and I'm not hers. And we just have a understanding. Mm-hmm. speaker-1: We're gonna hear from A if she expected to make a new close friend in adulthood. speaker-2: Adulthood. I definitely was not thinking of making new adult friendships that would last the rest of my life. I think as adults we kind of create our friendships around a certain time in your life, such as children or children's sports or Bible studies. And even though ours definitely started around our children in Bible study, our friendship has continued on So many different seasons and eventually even beyond our kids, now that they all have gone off to their adult worlds, somewhere along the way our friendship really grew into family. speaker-1: So how does this friendship compare to your relationships with your sisters? speaker-2: Mm. I'm not I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings. speaker-3: Yeah speaker-2: There's some things I can talk, Alicia, that, you know, you just don't want your blood relatives knowing and there's no judgment. And it's very similar though. I mean, she accepts me for who I am and I hope y'all do too. But I just feel like we need a friend outside of the the sister group to speaker-1: Because I don't speaker-2: talk about y'all that much, but like speaker-1: Bad speaker-2: But you still just need another person's opinion to make sure you're on the right track. Mm-hmm. And sometimes as sisters we can well, besides Susan, well and Shelly 'cause they're both black and white. They don't sugarcoat anything, but sometimes you need it sugarcoated a little bit. But yes, she's definitely a keeper. I think for me the idea of sisterhood with Melanie is I see her as one of my sisters. I I don't see her as a friend. I mean, we raised two kids together and then she went on and had another one and I said, I'm done. But I had an older one and she had a younger one. But because we went through things together, we've been through things that I haven't been with with y'all. And there's something about going through hardship and trials and tribulations that really can strengthen it it it is either gonna divide you or it's gonna bring you together. And I think for us, it brought us closer together. And so I feel like because of those trials and tribulations that we've been through that I haven't experienced with you guys, we've been able to continue our our sisterhood, our bond. speaker-1: Stacey, how about you? How does this friendship compare to the relationship with us? speaker-2: She's my soul sister. I mean, I'm like Susan. I look to her as a sister. The only difference is y'all have to show up for me and she doesn't. And she does anyways. And that means the world to me. But I truly look to her as my sister. My younger sister. I have a younger sister. The baby. The baby. speaker-1: Well, like Stacey and like Susan, this is a difficult question because I consider Amy one of my sisters. speaker-2: Amy speaker-1: Like Alicia is an only child and daughter's an only child and Amy has helped tremendously. speaker-2: And my daughter has helped her in dealing with not having an herself with there's no I believe and as as one of my own. Don't hang out on a regular hang out, take up left speaker-1: having siblings and learning to surround ourselves with sisters, not by blood. And I kind of absorbed her as due to schedules we don't on a regular basis, but when we do get to have where we speaker-2: off and I can always tell when I need speaker-1: an Amy fix and that's like Susan said, it's all about sisterhood and sometimes does speaker-2: That does speaker-1: not involve blood relation. Stacy, what do you get from Christina that you don't necessarily get from your family? speaker-2: family. I look to her as my family. So that's very hard to answer because she is my family. She's part of my family. And and Cheryl kinda brought it up too. There are things that I can talk to her about that I wouldn't talk to y'all about, but she's my family. So that's very hard to answer. speaker-1: What do you get from her family? speaker-2: Well mine would be time. I have I have unfeathered time. with her. I mean, we can go to lunch. We can pick up the we can pick up the c phone too and talk to each other. But it seems like I do talk to Melanie more often than I talk to y'all. We're going to their house for dinner Friday. So, you know, that's harder to do in a long distance relationship that like I have with you guys. I mean, Mel we're we're long distance now, but not as long distance. So but I would think just because of our distance being closer, that Time is something that that we have that I don't have with y'all. speaker-1: How this is different than speaker-2: family. Basically what Stacy said again, there's just some things like if something's bothering me that yeah, since I see you every day, you probably don't want to listen to me that I'll just, you know, ask A Alicia's opinion about it. And just our Christian connection to me is the biggest because she she when she goes through things, she can talk to me and and and she usually is talking to me about something I haven't been through. her mom i is has just been put in a memory care. And the way that she handled it with grace and I watched that and and it it did make me very emotional and then it also made me know that she did everything that she could before that decision. And I just know that she handled it right. Don't you love that even in friendship you're you're learning life lessons no matter how what age you're at, you're learning life lessons because Melanie lost her mom and I watched her go through that time leaving Friday after work or Thursday after work and skipping Friday to spend the weekend and help her dad and be there with her mom and what for three or four, five months that you did that. And I had not ever been in that situation before. It showed me, it taught me, you know, how to care for, how to be intentional, how to basically put your money where your mouth is and show up and be present for your parents. So that I'm still learning. I'm still learning from her. So all my sister provide speaker-1: Close to all sisters. But Amy can an outside perspective that helps me see things differently. Just the other day I got a text from her. It said, You for speaker-2: And you've been on my heart. speaker-1: a couple of days. Are you doing okay? And I couldn't even pinpoint what was going on speaker-2: Not in my own life. speaker-1: at the time, but she felt it in her spirit and she reacted. And that's true friendship right there. speaker-2: Melanie speaker-1: What was something about Susan that you did not expect to love? speaker-2: That was a hard question because what's not to love about her? I mean, you know, Susan but back to what I didn't expect to love. You know, Susan is very black and white. Did y'all know that? She's very black and white. It's this or that, you know? So I'd say I guess you don't have to guess what she's thinking, okay? So I can appreciate that. You know, I like someone to be honest. And you know, it doesn't always maybe it's not what you want to hear, but maybe it's what you need to hear, you know. So I guess that's she's not as she's not afraid to speak the truth and even if it's not pretty. And I like that about her. I love that about her. speaker-1: Liksha, curious to s hear your response to this question. speaker-2: can guarantee you it it's not that I'm black and white. speaker-3: Hahaha! speaker-2: No. It is funny how we have so much in common that on the inside, but on the outside we're very different. I just in fashion and just stupid stuff like that. But what I didn't expect to love about her, what I didn't know was coming, was that I loved her whole family. I didn't expect to get Susan as my kid's realtor, Shelly as a good friend. I'm getting to know Stacy more and more on these podcasts, which I've shared with Cheryl many times at I've really enjoyed getting to know her better, but I've gained a mom and dad that I love so much. I've gained a whole bunch of friends. I didn't expect to love all the people that Cheryl has brought into my life. And it's just enriched my life so much. Christina, how about you? I did not expect how hilarious Stacy actually is. She didn't let me in on it for a while. And she is so spunky and quirky, constantly makes me laugh. It is one of the things I love about her the most, but I think she was a little sneaky about it. 'cause she doesn't let you see that at the beginning. And I'm thankful for that because it matches my personality. But she is so funny. We are constantly laughing. A lot. Cheryl. That's a good friend. speaker-1: That's a good friend if they can if you can laugh with them. That that's awesome. speaker-2: Sometimes we're not at each other. With and at, yeah. speaker-1: So I didn't listen to Amy's answers because I thought I was gonna be playing. I speaker-2: But I'm speaker-1: am curious to hear what she had to say about something that she didn't expect to love about speaker-2: Me. speaker-1: but so this is where she gives her answer. speaker-2: was really an unexpected surprise was her beautiful family and the part that she played in it. Myself being an only child, it was so amazing to sit back and watch her be a sister and a daughter and a caregiver and the planner and just the overall keeper of family fun. Watching how much she keeps everyone connected together is amazing and to be included in that with her, it's the right of a life. We put out the question of whether about being speaker-1: Okay. What's different about building a friendship now versus when you but several have been friends including for years now. And speaker-2: were younger but been in Amy and I for and speaker-1: so I'm more curious how you speaker-2: You speaker-1: maintain this friendship. Several of us live in different cities and like Christina and Stacy get to see each other on a regular basis, but how in adulthood in this mature Less for you, Christina, than the rest of us, but this mature times how how do we maintain friendships like this? I I wanna hear from I think we're speaker-2: What's different now about building our friendship versus when we were younger is lack of hormones. We just really are authentic and honest with each other. And we give each other a hand up or a listening ear any time of night or day. We don't judge and we can't help but be authentic and vulnerable because quite frankly, we don't have the energy for anything else at this point. So that just leads to a lot of freedom within your friendship. So Shally, you mentioned that Christina and I live close together and and that's by design. In fact I would love for her to buy the house across the street from me and dig a little tunnel to buy house from it. I don't think it's gonna happen, but I still bring it up. I think it takes an effort. I think that you have to be there. for your friend. You have to check on them. They need to know that you love them. And and just like any relationship, you have to water it for it to grow. And we luckily her husband is one of my husband's best friends. He looks to him as a brother and is closer to him than he is to his own brother. But that helps a lot because we enjoy spending couple time together. And we still do Sunday fun day. I wanna say ninety percent of the time if we don't, one of us is out of town or sick or something. We try to get together every Sunday evening and have dinner together and just hang out. And I think that helps in that growth of our friendship. Mm-hmm. I wanna piggyback on that. I love the way you the analogy watering the friendship. I think it's so important. I really try to to reach out to my friends. I I'd like to say once a week, but I think at least once every two weeks by text or call. Now, whether they pick up the phone or not, that's on them. But I could probably get on people's nerves 'cause I like to talk going down the road. But you know, some people are a little more busy where they can't answer the phone and it's very important to communicate with our friends just to see if everything's going okay. And I love the watering of the friendship. I do too, Stacy. That was a good analogy. One of the challenges, and I I don't know if y'all have experienced this, but one of the challenges for Melanie and I, we were seeing each other Monday through Thursday, four, you know, four days a week, and then on Sundays at church. And when we move, we no longer work out together because it's so far, and we don't go to the same church. And so those are challenges. And I wondered how our friendship would fare. And honestly, it's it's been very good because she's good about calling. I'm I'm like, sure, I'll I'll give her a call while I'm driving. And so I think that challenge showed me how true this friendship was, you know? Yeah. You have to be intentional, you know. when you're young Yes. You have built in friends at school. And then when you're raising kids you have Kind of built in friends because you have your kids and you have their, you know, those relationships, but the your circle gets a little smaller the older you get. I mean, you still know a lot of people, but you're not really in touch with So I think you have to be very intentional. You know, you have to stop to make that phone call. You know, 'cause we're all busy and we're we've got this and that to do, but you know, you just have to make the time to do it, to make the call. Cheryl and I had kind of a unique friendship because we were ver spent a lot of time together the two years we worked together. And then we actually lost touch with each other. And I sometimes have just this sadness that I missed a time in her life when she could have really used some friends, really good friends. I know she had her sisters, which really helped her through a really hard time. And and then to me it was just a act of God that I just one day out of the blue saw John Mark on Facebook and I just said, if you are Cheryl's son, could you please get me in touch with her? And he was and he did. And you know where he is now Cheryl speaker-4: Can you help? speaker-2: find him. I'm just just kidding. But I don't know what year that was, but we've never lost touch since then. And Cheryl I feel like is a master teach touring friendship. I think she's one of the best examples of how to be a friend that there is out there. We don't live in the same place anymore. I've lived all over so she's really had to work to keep up with me. So she's come to see me in Colorado. She's come to see me in California. But she's always included me. She always calls and I think she knows if she calls and I don't answer for a long time, she knows something's wrong, something's not right. And she'll be the first one to show up for me. I wanna mention one thing about friendships later in life. To me, what I feel like what Melanie said, your circle's smaller. I have my good friends are a smaller number, but Probably more meaningful, but I would like to think of the women who are in my life now. We have more of a covenant friendship. And it's just so much deeper than an actual friendship. It's like a covenant. It is real, raw, encouraging. It's a spiritual bond. And it's like God knits you together with that person. And I just I feel that with Cheryl. I just feel like it's more it's a covenantal friendship. It's it's a promise and we don't talk every day. Sure, we don't even talk every month sometimes, but I feel closer to her than than ever. So I'd say I do my best to make Stacy a priority, like I do with the other important relationships in my life. I I keep her there. And you know, even if it's just a good morning text or something funny a couple of times a week, that's how I try to stay connected. But we are lucky that we are close and can see each other every Sunday. But There are times that, you know, it we may go a couple couple of months, two months and haven't seen each other at all 'cause both sides can get so busy. So yeah. I think that's it. Just make sure that she's a priority in my life. For Amy and I speaker-1: That's great. Gosh, fifteen years ago we've talked about speaker-2: This on other episodes. Cheryl and I began getting lunch on Thursdays at the restaurant right by her middle. speaker-1: Thursday at a restaurant right by middle school, another friend of coach joined us shortly after. speaker-2: And former colour, after that Amy came along and started eating speaker-1: with us and then Carrie, who was on our childhood friend episode, started joining us. And Didi ended up moving out of the city to a different part of Texas. So we call ourselves the OGs. And so that tradition of getting together on Thursdays has grown exponentially. Sometimes we have 20 women that get together. OGs make it a point at least once a month to get together. Because when you have 20 women sitting around a table There's not a lot of connecting going on. And speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-1: so we make it a point the four of us to get together for breakfast typically and just catch up online because just like all of them speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-1: all, you know, the pace is quick and and you just have to carve out and that's the bottom line. You have to carve speaker-2: Time out. speaker-1: because it would be very easy to let those fall to the side and that's the last thing that you want to do. So tell How this friendship changed how you show up for other people in your life. speaker-2: Well, I like I mentioned earlier, I feel like Cheryl is the master teacher of how to do that. Cheryl shows up for people. I I I witness her do it on a regular basis. So I would say she's taught me just how to continually give, how to show up for people no matter what. I could only hope to be as good a friend to others as she has been to me. And as I've watched it be to other people. She Cheryl just shows up. That's all there's to it. I mean She showed up for me last week. So at probably one of the worst times of my whole life. And and and Shelly, y y'all both came. When my dad passed away, y'all showed up. I mean, y'all she just taught me a lot about showing up for others. speaker-1: Christina, how has your friendship with Stacy changed how you show up for other people? speaker-2: Agree with Alicia. Stacy has shown me that you you show up, whether it is a phone call, you were there in person, you show up for your people. And she's done that our whole relationship and she's done that for everyone around her and people that don't even know her. So she has definitely taught me to show up and give your full heart to people, which is hard it's hard for people to do that, to to give their heart the way she does. But over the years she has taught me that it's okay. It's okay to do that. And she's definitely made me want to be a better daughter and a better sister. I think you all have. Seeing the way all you sisters are with your family and each other. So you've all taught me that in the years I've been around. I love that. Mm-hmm. Melody speaker-1: How has Susan changed your perspective? speaker-2: Well you know, forty years of of a relationship, that's a long time. You've been through a lot, you know, you've been through the highs and the lows. You know, you've been through, you know, you've been through deaths, you've been through just great things and terrible things, you know. Hurtful things, painful things, and wonderful things. But I think it is just remembering that we're all human. We're not Perfect. You know, Susan's not perfect. I'm not perfect. But we have to overlook the things. We have to love anyway, in the good and the bad, and the ugly. So even in our imperfection, we can choose to forgive and to accept and to love each other. And I think we've both done that along the way. You know, there's been a lot, a lot. And you know, it would have been easy to just walk away many, many times through the years. Not that we had these big knockdown dragons, just things in life, you know. So I think that in our imperfection that we can choose to forgive, love and accept and support and and show up regardless of if you agree or feel the same or whatever. You know, support what she's doing or what she's saying, even if they d don't agree with it. So Okay. speaker-1: So Amy, how has our friendship changed how you show up for other people in your life? speaker-2: it definitely has. Our friendship recenters me in ways that I can't even describe, which then frees me up to be a better person all around. And we go to breakfast pretty regularly. We can both kind of feel in our hearts when it's time to get together. But when we do go, I always feel so sorry for the places because we tie the table up for at least two hours. But we do leave a good tip. I think that time really helps us to figure out that we're not going crazy and nothing is off limits. Laughter, tears, prayer, venting. And who could ask for a more special time than that? The Lord has so blessed our socks off. And the last thing we always say to each other when we are walking out to our cars is love ya. And The cool thing about that is that we really do mean out. So at it moment speaker-1: Any moment is there a particular moment that sealed the friendship for you guys? Either friend or or sister? speaker-2: Well, I can honestly say I had gotten married to Johnny and Alicia and Randy and their family lived in California. And we said we're coming to visit them. And I don't think you'd met Johnny up until that point, had you? No. And so we come in there and she and Randy both accepted Johnny with open arms. I mean, he's an easy guy to accept, but you just don't ever know when, you know, she knew the other guy. We call him the other guy. the other guy. And so it was really neat that she accepted him the way she did and let me know that I made a good choice. This probably I would say honestly that just us both having a love for sports and a love for Jesus, that was of an instant connection. And this is such an odd thing. This is not what sealed us, but I'll never forget this. We had gone in to get in my car at Leander Junior High. And we were headed to the high school to get some our head coach wanted to see us. And we got in the car and the radio announcer just sounded like doom and gloom and and this I we we didn't know what was going on. We thought the world was ending. Like we truly thought this is it. And I remember we grabbed hands and it was when the space shuttle exploded. I don't even know what year the the challenger, I guess, is what it was. And it was just such a odd moment to be sitting with someone in just the two of us in the car and it just sounded like the world was ending and just I don't remember what we did. I don't know if we pray I don't know what we did. I don't remember but I just remember that moment with you. For me, Shelly, it was and I don't remember what year this was, but I had a grease fire in my kitchen and I had second and third degree burns on my right hand, which is my d dominating hand. I was having a real rough time doing anything. And one morning after I guess Melanie had dropped her kids off at school, she shows up at my house and she she said, I'm here to wash your hair, I'm here to f fold towels, I'm here to do whatever you need. And I thought, you know, any I don't even know if you remember that, Melanie, but anyone that's willing to wash someone's hair that hasn't had it washed in several days and just be The hands and feet to me, for me it was the hands and feet of Jesus. Just being there to meet needs. And we've talked about on on previous podcasts that love is meeting needs. And that sealed the deal for me. I knew that it wasn't just talk, it was in love in action. And I appreciated that so much. speaker-1: That's funny that you say that 'cause I just started a Bible study called Friends and Sisters and it talks about love and action. Action in tr in truth and not just in speech. And I I think that that's the testimony that you just gave with Melanie. speaker-2: Yes. As Melanie mentioned before, as we get older we have seasons, friends because of the sports that our kids are in. This friendship wasn't forced. It happened. It just happened. It wasn't something that had to happen. And and another thing, and this is big to me, she eats my cooking. Now her husband does have to bring his own knife to, you know, scrape the burnt parts up, but she just told me last night. That's okay, that's blackened. So it's a seasoning, not a burned, you know, that's big to me. I'm not a good cook, so they both do that. It was it's that I choose and she chooses every day to have that friendship and to be there for each other. So yes, it was one moment that said, Hey, she's a keeper, but it's also just like marriage, it is a a a choice that I think is made every day. Yeah. Well point speaker-1: at what point for a few years in addition to our friendship, Amy and I speaker-2: I speaker-1: had an employer employee relationship. And for some would have added range somehow speaker-2: That would have strained between speaker-1: we were able to make it work. And the friendship was already sealed, but we could re respect each other in other capacities, just that bond. Work relationship can be stressful in and of itself, but when it when it's with your best friend speaker-2: And you come outside of it stronger than you were. speaker-1: out on the other side. I think that that speaks volumes. The thing I wanna say at this point is, you know, I who each of my speaker-2: Eight. speaker-1: sisters were going to bring into this episode, but I think is so cool speaker-2: But what is speaker-1: each of us know each other. You speaker-2: And I think speaker-1: know, if if Stacy or or s or Susan had brought in a complete stranger, I I speaker-2: I don't know speaker-1: that would be concerning to me because I would feel like there's, you know, a disconnect from her friendships and her family. We we we know Christina life speaker-2: But we know Melanie. speaker-1: with them in in one capacity or another. And of course Alicia has has become speaker-2: Because speaker-1: like a a sister to all of us as well. So I I was very encouraged to see the friendships, the friends that each of my sisters have, knowing that, you know four walls and that's important as I forgot who said it, but that's important that you have friendships outside of your family reasons that y'all mentioned. speaker-2: Anyone speaker-1: Have anything else they want to say before we do some quick rapid fire questions to wrap up? speaker-2: wrap up. I want to say one thing about women who champion other women. I feel like I feel like Cheryl is always in my corner, always lifting me up. And when you're older, it it it's just when you have these friendships later in life, there's so many things that you've learned over time that don't matter are not super important. And so like the women who are in my circle now, I just feel like they're such champions of other women. They they want people to be successful and succeed and they wanna be there for them. And it's just women who choose to go the distance in life and after it gets messy and ugly and you've had the hurts and the pains and they hold that sorrow with confidence, like they hold it for you and with you. And it's just later life friendships really add a lot to your life. And I wanna say also that Alicia and I also do not like drama and that's one thing I like about her is that we don't nitpick people, we don't talk about other women. I mean, who has time for that? So that that's one big thing I love about her. Hey, mine is if I needed help, Christina's that person along with my sisters, that would say, Do I need to bring a shovel? So you know, you need that person in your life. It's Important. I would say too, as women, listen to that still small voice inside you because we had a p guest pastor preaching and he said something and immediately I knew that Melanie and I needed to be prayer walking for her daughter. Her daughter was going through a real rough time. And right after the service I went over to her and I said, We need to prayer walk. And we started prayer walking two or three days a week. We would walk. And pray, walk and pray. For Kristen, then our list got longer. Then it was someone else. And then it was my daughter. And then it was for health. And it was for our husbands and our church. And same when you're like when I'm driving along, if if she comes to my mind or someone else, just listening to that and following it up with a phone call or text is so important because I feel like God puts people on our hearts and it's our responsibility to be obedient and do what he's asking us to do. We would have never reached the depth of friendship that we went to had I not gone to her and said, We really need to do this. And then she said yes and God wrote the rest of the story. And we committed to it. I mean we committed for nine years. I mean, you know, we were committed to it. Not every single day, but almost every day. Yes. When you asked about the what sealed the friendship for you I was gonna say really our families, you know, my children and her children were raised together. My husband and Tom, I'm not ever willing to walk away from that, you know. And people do it, you know, they just say, then, you know, I'm not willing to do that. And I don't think they are either. So it's lasted a long time. speaker-1: Okay, let's do s just three quick rapid fire questions to keep it where we're not talking on top of each other. Just go in Susan, Melanie, Cheryl, Alicia, Dacey, Christina. Next speaker-2: And me. speaker-1: call or show up unannounced? speaker-5: Let's call Tex. speaker-2: Text. Probably text. speaker-1: Text How do you each maintain friendships? speaker-2: Time time spot to lunch. Go out to lunch, go out to dinner. Connection, speaker-1: Mm-hmm. speaker-2: conversation. Make sure to to make like we went to concerts together with the what? Connection speaker-1: One word. Not get the concept of rapid fire questions. speaker-2: I love you so much. Adventures. Big love. Dedication. And finally one thing about making speaker-1: Be intentional. What's one thing you wish someone had told you making friends in adulthood? Take the rest. speaker-2: Take a chance. I think they're more important than ever. That's a good one, Melanie. speaker-1: Sisters, does the friends of each of our sisters pass the sister test? speaker-2: Most definitely. Absolutely. speaker-1: Absa freaking lutly. speaker-3: You speaker-1: So listeners, did you meet a special friend in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, or beyond that sticks closer than a sister? We'd love to hear them in speaker-2: We're hear about a speaker-1: the comments. There are so many things you could be listening to, and you choose us. We truly appreciate that. I want to take this opportunity to Alicia, Christine, and Amy. speaker-2: Thank Melanie, Dina for speaker-1: For being a part of this special episode. Thank you very much. speaker-2: Thank Love y'all. speaker-5: Bye. speaker-1: Next week we won't be talking about our most embarrassing moments as planned as you've probably seen or heard about them speaker-2: The speaker-1: on previous episodes. But I can assure you that you won't want to miss episode thirty-three until speaker-2: Then remember that speaker-1: life is messy, meaningful, and better when shared. Thank you for listening. speaker-2: Forget to like us, share us, comment, subscribe. Bye. speaker-0: Bye.