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Living and Leaving Well | Pr Dr Victor Wong · Generations Church

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Hey there, you're listening to the Generation's Church podcast. We pray that the
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word of God today will challenge, change and channel you into your God given
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destiny. Now let's get started the topic of my servant. It's called actual,
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it's called a living funeral. I call it living and living well.
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So to do that. To do that, I would like to request help
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from all of you in a role here, and I'm going to restructure the
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whole stage a little bit. As I told you, discerment will be a
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little bit different from the normal. I will need more more help. I
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will like you to put this picture somewhere Pacifictor why do you do a living
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funeral? What is a living funeral? What's interesting is that when I turn
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fifty, I want to do my living funeral, and there's no church that
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will allow me to bring my coffin in except every nation, Puccho. So
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pass the teams say, yeah, why not? You just do your living
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funeral here. So I did the living funeral, which I'm going to go
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through later, but I'm not going to replicate. I can't aplicate the living
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funeral here, but I would give you the context of what I did.
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So that was two zero one seven, and on the same stage was also
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the place where I have to say goodbye to my good friend past the team.
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It's very surreal because at my living funeral he gave the eulogy. At
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his real funeral, I gave the eulogy. So if you think about it,
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both of us attended each other's funeral, and in the sense it's meaningful.
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That's what Joel say. Just now, will the grief? How do
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you manage grief? Will the grief ever go away? I don't know you
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can go through I think different one of us. Even I am going through
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counseling right now. We can imagine for Joel and the mom how is it
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like? How is it grief? Like? Yo? We know there are
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five stages. We know Okay, we've gone through it. I'm a pastor.
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We have done counseling, and sometimes the hardest people to counsel ah the
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pastest because they know Lord right, so they know what's going through. And
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so I told myself, I'm not going to overanalyze neither am I going to
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underestimate how grief it's like. So I'm still going through it. I can't
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say it's getting better. I hope it is, you cannot see the effect
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of it. I look very normal on stature, But I like what the
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late German geologian and pastor ditrich Upon Halfer say in one of his statements,
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in one of Love. He's saying this. He says that nothing can make
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up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it will be wrong.
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It would be wrong to try to find a substitute. We must simply
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hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but
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at the same time it is a great consolation for the gap as long as
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it remains unfiel. I repeat, the gap, as long as it remains
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unfiled, reserve the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God
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feels the get You say that it's nonsense to say that God will feel the
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gap. God doesn't feel it, but on the contrary, keeps it empty.
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So helps us to keep us alive our former communion with each other,
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even at the course of pain. And I thought it was very beautiful written
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by Riship Vonoffer, that the grief that we go through, whether it's a
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passing away with somebody or whatever grief, sometimes the gap will be there for
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a long time because you love the person and that gap cannot be feeled.
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The pain will be more bearable, but the gap will always be dead.
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The thing about living funeral is this, there is not enough time to die.
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What I'm going to do is I'm just gonna read you different snippets from
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my book called Unspoken Words, UH to illustrate the whole thing. What do
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I mean by not enough time to die? I think that there are two
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ways people die, suddenly or gradually. Either way, either way it is
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of the times of the essence. In a case of sudden death, both
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the disease and the next of kin will be reactive towards its sudden like what
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positive actually went true. There is not enough time to think. Decisions will
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have to be made. In a case of a gradual death, by already
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is a main perspective. The remaining days that you have will become very important.
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Well, decisions will also have to be made, but you'll be more
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like learning to say no to the good things so that you will say yes
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to the best thing. Thinking about that is not a preoccupation of death.
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It's not. It does not need to be morbid. In fact, the
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more you learn to talk about death. The more you are in touch with
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your mortality. That brings a certain balanced perspective of life. From my experiences
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in life in persform, restreet death is a race against time, simply because
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we tend to postpone important things right to the end if time is kind enough
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to us in the case of a gradual death. Most people use their remaining
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time to appreciate love, ones seek forgiveness, distribute their assets to draw up
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their will, visit special places, do memorable things. But time is usually
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shorter than their bucket is. And the set truth is when you want to
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use your pressures time to do the important things, those around you will not
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be able to reciprocate in time. So but what if we space out?
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What if we live life with the end in mind even though we cannot predict
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when we die. What if we live each day appreciating the precious moments and
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doing the important things. I love the romantic comedy about Time. I love
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this romantic comedy. I'm not sure if you've seen that or not, but
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I make my pre metal counseling watch this movie. It is about the special
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ability of a young man by the name of Tim. His name is called
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Tiam, who is able to travel back into time anytime he wants. He
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can travel back in time, and the profound lesson at the end of this
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movie is this team learns to live each day twice. First time he lived
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normally with all the apps and downs, but the second time he lived again,
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but this time he noticed all the beauty in between without changing anything.
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We cannot time travel, but we can take time to appreciate them now and
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the most important time of our life now. See most of us, we
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don't have enough time to die. Which album in is book Tuesday with Maury
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inspire me to do the living funeral, and he says this that when you
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learn how to die, when you learn how to die, you learn how
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to live. So why a living funeral? Why do a living funeral?
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Let me tell you why I've been thinking. I've been thinking, actually hard,
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how to celebrate my fiftieth day, How to make it meaningful, how
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to make it memorable. So I told myself, Okay, there will be
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fifty things that I'm going to do for my fiftieth birth day. I want
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readrow all fifty. I just came through some Number one a fishing trip with
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my father. Number two I will complete my doctorate. Dese is number three.
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My mother will attend my convocation because I realized that when I got my
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first degree, my second degree, you know, I didn't want a convocation,
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just felt was very unnecessary. I forgot that it matters a lot to
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my mother. So I say, on my fiftieth day, I will graduate
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and my mom will attend that. And she did that. And one of
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the things I want to do is I'm going to do a musical watch of
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musical together with my wife. You know, Kelly, and one of my
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goddaughters have always loved to go clubbing, and she don't dare to go.
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So I went with her clubbing, father and daughter just doing clubbing together.
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And then one of the things I wanted to do is to conduct the funeral,
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the real funeral my cousin Dorothy. And then I want to coordinate a
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young Pastor's academy. And then I want to do a theological study on the
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subject of the anger of God, God getting angry and me getting angry at
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God. And I told myself I'm going to preach a sermon series in every
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nation church Malaysia entitled the Journey of Transition. One more thing I want to
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do is I want to design and conduct systematic theology for the next generation.
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So I put myself into the test. I put all the teenage there,
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and I teach theology. If they sleep, feel, if they get excited.
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You know. I passed, you know. So I did that,
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and then I wanted to produce a corporate video for my company. The review
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story I put out here, I want to double it with positimity and risa.
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One more thing, I'm gonna play football and score. I must spake
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sure I score when I turn fifty. You oh, I don't like Duran.
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And for the three things I want to do with this, I'm gonna
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eat a whole Duran I myself, you know. And then I'm gonna have
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a jubilee dinner with my closest friend. Number forty eight, I want to
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catch Spider and watch them fine. Forty nine, I'm gonna rewrite my book
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Unspoken Words. And the fiftieth thing the fifty things I want to do is
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this, I want to do my living funeral. So why my living funeral?
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Why not you think about it? Since most of you will not be
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at my real funeral. My living funeral, I invite as many people as
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I can. Let me tell you why I did my living funeral. Number
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one, I get to see those who can make it to my funeral.
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Number two, I get to thank and appreciate the people while I'm still alive.
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Number three, I get to hear songs and eulogy and I can actually
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correct them right or wrong. I can design my own funeral program and debreathe
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with my wife. Later. I get to see my own coffin, and
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yes, I wanted a white coffin. Another reason, it is cheaper.
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You don't need to buy any risks for my funeral. Number eight. You
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do not need to visit me in the event that I'm in a hospital.
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Please do not visit me if I'm lying in a hospital. Number nine.
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My parents and siblings get to see my funeral and hear my appreciation for them.
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Number ten. You do not need to look solemn. You can still
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cry, but it will be tears of graditu Number eleven. Now they've done
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my living funeral, you have a lifetime to appreciate me and take me out
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for a nice meal. Number twelve. Invariably it will cause you to think
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of your own funeral. And Number fifteen. Now that I've learned to die,
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I can say that the best of me is yet to come. Aw
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Tosa. In this book Whatever Happens to Worship, he says this. He
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says that the average person in the world today, without faith, without God,
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without hope, is engaged in a desperate personal search throughout his lifetime.
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He does not really know where he has been. The average person, he
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does not really know what he's doing here, and now he does not know
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where he is going. The said commentary is that he's doing all on borrowed
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time, borrowed money, borrowed strength, and he already knows that in the
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end he will surely die. It boils down to the bewildered confession of many
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that we have lost God. Somewhere along the way, Men made more like
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God than any creature, has become less like God than any other creature.
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Men created to reflect the glory of God, he has retreated suddenly in his
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cave, reflecting only in his own sinfulness. Certainly, it is a tragedy
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above all tragedies that men meet with a soul to worship and praise and sing
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God's glory now sucks silently in his own cave. Love has gone from his
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heart, light has gone from his mind. Having lost God, he blindly
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stumbles on through this dark world, only to find grief at the end.
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And my prayer is that I would not lose God along the way. I
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would like to always say the best of me is yet to come. And
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that's why I did mine living funeral. It took me two years to plan
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for it, and I have got malaives coming. I've got all sorts of
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people coming. I have a lot of Chinese superstitis who come because they scolded
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their children and says Sola, this person didn't diet. Going to a living
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funeral, you know, and most of my young Adul says, that's precisely
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why we need to hear you, Pacifictor. And after the event, it
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was amazing how family turned around. And my living funeral we collect an offering
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for cancer survivor and family is being restored and detain me and say, Pasi
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Victor, your living funeral actually helped me to manage my parents' funeral. Whenever
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we talk to my parents about funeral, they will school us. It's a
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taboo subject for Chinese. But we get to blame you because when you do
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it, my parents are angry, and actually that's exactly what we need them
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to be angry at first, but in their anger they begin to talk about
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their life. They are will their lives and dislikee and inaviatably, we were
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ready to say goodbye to my parents. So that was why I did my
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living funeral. And also in my living funeral, it's four funeral in one.
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It is also to honor my wife. Both my parents also get to
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see how their funeral will be alive. So tomorrow both my parents are still
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alive, and if they pass away tomorrow, we will know what to do.
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And they have seen the gratitude that we have done for them. So
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eventually it was not about me. We'renna pointed back to the God. So
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really, now if I really die, if I really die today, you
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know, how will my real funeral be? Will first of all my in
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every funeral, I notice the wife. Ah, you will see that in
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most funerals there's a lot of activities going on. My poor wife, if
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she survived me, will have a lot of thanking and hosting to do.
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She will have a lot of decisions to make, she will have a lot
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of directing to do, and she's probably gonna hear countless testimony of what a
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blessing I have been to those in attendence. She will have no time to
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grieve. She will keep saying thank you for coming, thank you for coming,
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that you're coming, thank God. She would have had a lot of
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people, and that's not wrong. That's what I've seen in every funeral,
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and that's precisely what I don't want my wife to actually go through. In
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short, my funeral allowed them to be a family, a space to be
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family without a constrain of time. There's no pressure to perform, no obligation
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to take care of guests and make heaty financial contribution. They can be themselves,
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enjoy familiness. It takes a funeral to be a family again, and
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we will cherish that for a long time. And so in the event that
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I am sick, please do not visit me in the hospital, all right,
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because if you do visit me in the hospital, it's very stressful for
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my family members. They have to entertain you. You think about it,
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if this is a hospital bit, if I am blind on the hospital bit,
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and if past the andes here the doctor citizen about twenty minutes of sharing
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that right, definitely past and DNJ will pray for me, right, I
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still pray for being here in Jesus name Amen. Just after before I fall
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asleep, Joelo will come. Oh you know that would. Oh and I'm
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very sure Joelo out of bread deal will be praying for me. Right.
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Oh. Can you imagine how many more people will be doing this? And
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you are robbing myself time with my wife. Not that you're not important,
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You're very important. I know you love me. You can just text,
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send me a video something you know like that because as a pastor, I
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found that some of the most beautiful moments before people pass it pass away is
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the last moment at this side. Please call my son from us. I'm
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so sorry, pasta. I want to say sorry to my son a video,
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tip it and be wait for the sun to act, will come back
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and if you are there. Actually, the truth is, I know you
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love the person, but you're distracting the family time. And then that's when
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I say, don't need to visit me in hospital unless I call you to
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actually come. So if you think about it, when you learn to do
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your living fun way, begin to think about your own funeral. You think
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with the end in mind, you will leave a better person. But I'm
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not saying you must do your living funeral. Now. The interesting thing is
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this conversation I have had many times with Faster the team. We laugh about
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it, we joke about it, but the truth is, you know,
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you know by concept, you know really. But the funny thing is when
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asking Tim in your termtime, I say, I ask simple, a very
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simple person. Just keep it simple. I'm very simple man. You know,
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no ne la, whatever you wanna do, they do. So.
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During my friend's funeral, I was there, of use, I was crying.
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You know. I'll tell myself Tim when I get to heaven, I
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need to discuss with you again. Why didn't you give me more instruction what
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you actually want to do. You're simple to be simple at all. But
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of course the beautiful thing about what's the team's you know, is this in
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one death, when one life was taken away, many more roles, many
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more leaders came up to me and say, passiving, I will be a
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better leader. Passiving, I will be the better husband. Passively. I
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will now come for prayer meeting Pacific. Now I will be a cell leader.
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You know, I'm not sure it's it out of guilt or what but
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I look at a coffeine and the team and say, well, mine is
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going to be private. Yours is very public. But in one death you
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actually achieved so much. No wonder it would of God says, you know,
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when the colonel which falls and die many more or bad fruits and my
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dear friend team leave his legacy. But for me it would be like that.
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For me it will be private because I love my wife, I love
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the people around me, and I wanted my cultural all to be around.
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So if you're not there, it's really helpful. Let them learn to be
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family. But one year later, ah, it's a different story. One
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year later, two years later, one month later, I'm very sure one
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of my godson or goddaughter will want to do something public, and then it's
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okay. Then you can actually go ahead and do it. And if I
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mean a lot to you, you will be there. If not, it's
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okay not to be there. The Book of Some Study, chapter nine,
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verse four to seven has this to say. It says say that show me,
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oh God, my life's d and a number of my days. In
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others it's very bribical to tell God, God, show me, show me
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God, how long do while I live. Sometimes God will tell you,
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sometimes you would. I don't know, but something says, show me you
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know the number of my days, and let me know how fleeting my life
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is. You have made my days a mere hand breadth, and the span
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of my years. There's nothing before you. Each man's life is. But
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yeah, a breath. That's all we are. Men is a mere phantom.
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He goes to and fro. He buzzes about, but play in vain.
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He heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it. But now,
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Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you?
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You all read thirty say that my hope, oh God, is in you.
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I need to close this time by sharing with you a soul check question
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that I do for most of my members. If I would ask you,
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how would you read the quality of your life? One to ten? How
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would you read it? How to say in a Pacific tar, very subjective?
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Okay, it doesn't matter. How would you read the quality of your
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life? You'll be interesting if you read one. It will also be very
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interesting if you read ten. Who would you read the quality of your life?
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Number two? Who is one person you really need to appreciate? Oh?
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Many many people? Yes, But who is one person now that you
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really want to appreciate? Next question, is there someone you need to make
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peace with? You? In your life? There will always be room for
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bitterness. I think there will be some room for and forgiveness for a start,
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because it's always a process. But the longer you read, the bitter
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it gets. Is there somebody you really need to make peace with? Next
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question? Have you settled all your financial and private affairs? The set truth
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about many funerals will be this. After the father, mother, or the
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loved one pass away, you leave behind a huge amount of debt and answerved
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methods for the loved ones to actually manage. Next question, what is the
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best way to appreciate your family? The next question what is the most precious
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possession you are living behind? Was the final question? Have you accepted the
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Lord Jesus Christ and as your personal Lord and savior? This is some questions
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Sorison I like to leave with you now. Some of you are a lot
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more younger. You're not thinking about death, which is totally okay, But
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remember what I say. There are two ways to die. Die suddenly die
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gradually. If you are young, you think yours will be a gradual death.
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Thing again. If you are old, you may think you will die.
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Suddenly, think again. The statistics of death is very amazing. One
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out of one will die. It's amazing, one out of one will die.
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I've done a powerful study of this subject. One out of one will
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die. How would you want to live this mortal life? And that is
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why I did my living funeral? All right, So on the close,
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because we know we have a Q and A and I give you enough time
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for that to actually happen. But again on behalf of uh pastitive team,
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but the triassa and every nation church, we want to thank you to be
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the church that He preaches, last sermon the main thing, keep the mainting,
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the maintaing honor God, make disciples a powerful servant that He preaches.
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And today's my honor to stand at the same stage to share my story with
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all of you. I'm sure there'll be money more days that we can share
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more, but like to keep this serman simple by sharing about my living Throughnerald.
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Thank you for listening to the Generation's Church podcast. We hope you have
25:41
been blessed by the word of God today. Remember to stay tuned by subscribing
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