Latest / Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50 / ENCORE EPISODE: MEAN GIRLS REVISITED POST "THE WHITE LOTUS"

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ENCORE EPISODE: MEAN GIRLS REVISITED POST "THE WHITE LOTUS" · Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50

• 1:55
  Hi, everyone. It's Eden.
• 1:57
  Christine and I are sharing an encore episode with you this
• 2:00
  week and then we'll have all new episodes starting next week.
• 2:04
  And the subjects we will cover include not always being in such
• 2:09
  a rush to get things done. We're also going to talk about
• 2:11
  that Oprah menopause special. And we have a special guest to
• 2:14
  talk about all of the fun things that affect our feet as we get
• 2:18
  older. But the reason I chose this
• 2:22
  particular episode to play back as an encore is that I just
• 2:27
  wrapped up watching The White Lotus Season 3.
• 2:31
  Now if you watch that show, and even if you didn't, it features
• 2:36
  3 characters that are on a girls trip, Jacqueline, Laurie and
• 2:41
  Kate. And they have a complex dynamic
• 2:45
  during the course of many conversations, they start out
• 2:48
  building each other up. And then there's always a little
• 2:50
  twist of the knife. And there's just a lot to it.
• 2:53
  I don't want to give away any spoilers, but my husband asked
• 2:56
  me a couple of times, is this what it's like when three women
• 3:00
  travel together? So I thought, hey, that makes me
• 3:04
  want to re listen to our Mean Girls episode.
• 3:07
  So with no further ado, here you go.
• 3:10
  Remember, we're back next week with all new episodes.
• 3:14
  Welcome to Uncluttered and Unfiltered, the podcast urging
• 3:18
  you to let it go and don't look back.
• 3:21
  We've nationally acclaimed professional organizer Christine
• 3:24
  Stone and self-proclaimed hot damn mess radio and TV
• 3:29
  personality Eden Kendall. Welcome everybody to Uncluttered
• 3:33
  and Unfiltered the podcast for women over 50 Mean Girls
• 3:37
  episode. I'm Eden.
• 3:39
  And I'm Christine. Well, you took your vessel.
• 3:41
  I took. It's freezing in Florida.
• 3:44
  It's really cold in Florida, which is something that.
• 3:47
  We're not unusual. And I'm still in my hoodie.
• 3:50
  I just couldn't even bring myself to you're, but you're
• 3:52
  cold. Because I'm cold, I'm cold.
• 3:54
  And I realized there are people listening where it is snowing,
• 3:58
  right? Really cold, right?
• 4:00
  So you do not sympathize with us.
• 4:02
  I'm just saying if you're watching videos from this
• 4:05
  episode, we are. I'm snuggled up and you are
• 4:08
  cold. I'm and I'm cold.
• 4:10
  We're going to talk about Mean Girls today, but first of all,
• 4:13
  this is our first time back together after Thanksgiving.
• 4:15
  So tell me how it was you were with your your daughter that
• 4:19
  lives in Nashville and you were visiting with your grandson?
• 4:23
  With my grandson who's getting so big now and his my in laws,
• 4:30
  my son in law's family was there as well.
• 4:33
  And so we had a big group and my brother also lives there and his
• 4:37
  wife and family. So it was a big group and we
• 4:40
  brought my 85 year old mother with us.
• 4:42
  OK. Let's talk about.
• 4:44
  That I love you, mom, because I know she listens.
• 4:46
  I we all love her and I have no doubt in my mind that that was
• 4:52
  so special and memories were made and photos were taken and
• 4:56
  it was the best thing ever, but it could not have been easy.
• 5:00
  Well. In fairness.
• 5:02
  Yeah, no travelling with anyone during a holiday.
• 5:06
  Never easy. Add stress because of different
• 5:09
  personnel. Right, right.
• 5:11
  And also, you know, you always see your own mother as someone
• 5:16
  who's young. Do you know, no matter what,
• 5:19
  sure, you see them as your mom. And so when they get to a
• 5:23
  certain age, that shifts. And it's a normal shift.
• 5:27
  It's not like you know, but I think, you know, it was
• 5:32
  definitely a different trip seeing the help she needed to
• 5:38
  get around and that type of stuff.
• 5:40
  So that was different and. She's coming off of a medical
• 5:43
  situation, yes. So that's why I was asking.
• 5:46
  If that was a little more difficult, I'm sure worth every.
• 5:48
  Worth every penny. And hey, she still cooked all
• 5:50
  her best dishes so that yes, she sure did.
• 5:53
  Did she? Do a lot of.
• 5:55
  Different she She baked and she made her famous rice that we all
• 5:59
  love. And so, yeah, I mean, it's just
• 6:04
  it's difficult traveling during a holiday weekend anyway.
• 6:07
  So just having someone who needs special attention and you have
• 6:13
  to worry. You know, my big thing right now
• 6:15
  is the tripping, you know, watch where you're going.
• 6:18
  Look ahead because you fall at 85 is different than when you
• 6:23
  fall it 55. So sure anyway, but it it was
• 6:27
  fun. It was, it was definitely so
• 6:29
  much fun to see my grandson who's getting older and now
• 6:32
  talking, which it just is so cute.
• 6:35
  He's saying. CC CC and.
• 6:37
  What is What is your mom's nickname?
• 6:41
  Oh, Sidhu, which is she's Lebanese, So that's Lebanese for
• 6:45
  Sidhu. Yes, Sidhu.
• 6:46
  Love that. Yeah.
• 6:47
  You've maintained that cultural, yes.
• 6:50
  Yes. Her background that's that's
• 6:52
  fantastic. We don't talk about that very
• 6:54
  often. No, we really don't.
• 6:55
  Yeah, yeah. One day, talk about our
• 6:57
  cultural. Right, right.
• 6:59
  Because I was raised in a Jewish Home, Yes.
• 7:02
  And you were raised. I'm Greek, Greek, Greek and
• 7:05
  Lebanese. Okay, yeah, so I got really
• 7:08
  great food. Yeah, I imagine.
• 7:11
  Really great food. Our food wasn't terrific.
• 7:14
  Nobody in my family, immediate family is an amazing cook.
• 7:17
  So we went to Buca di Beppo in South Florida, which is an.
• 7:20
  Italian. Restaurant, but they serve a
• 7:21
  traditional Thanksgiving and it was It was pretty good.
• 7:25
  There is something to be said, especially being married to a
• 7:27
  Midwesterner where his mom makes for Christmas and Thanksgiving.
• 7:33
  Fried Turkey. Like you would fry a chicken.
• 7:35
  Not the drunk it into the deep fryer but cut it up, bread it,
• 7:40
  fry it. Wow.
• 7:41
  Gravy. That actually sounds good,
• 7:43
  though. It's.
• 7:44
  Delicious really good a little spoiled when it comes to a
• 7:47
  holiday meal because of her so and she's probably listening
• 7:51
  right now too. So to aspirations to cook like
• 7:54
  Sharon one day. Yeah, the the person on my trip
• 7:57
  that brought a little bit of stress instead of packing her
• 8:02
  shoes, her medicine that she needs every day and her contact
• 8:10
  lenses. Oh my God.
• 8:12
  She packed a bunch of potatoes. In other words, handing me
• 8:15
  potatoes to carry for if you don't know what that means.
• 8:18
  That's you have to go back. Yeah, you have to go back to our
• 8:20
  other episode. It's it from another episode,
• 8:22
  It's when someone hands you their issues and they become
• 8:24
  your issue, right? So we had to find Acvs to.
• 8:28
  How'd you get the contacts? We didn't.
• 8:31
  She had to wear glasses. She had to.
• 8:33
  No, she did not. Bring her glasses.
• 8:35
  She had to to coast on the same pair of reusable contacts for
• 8:38
  the whole time, which is not ideal, and then no shoes.
• 8:44
  None. No shoes other than the boots
• 8:47
  she was going to wear to dinner because we went straight from
• 8:49
  here to the restaurant. So in the car she handed her
• 8:52
  boots. So we were in Coconut Grove
• 8:55
  walking. Away.
• 8:56
  From the hotel, the first thing we had to do is go buy her a
• 8:59
  pair of shoes because on Thanksgiving when we were
• 9:02
  driving down, you couldn't stop anywhere because nothing was
• 9:05
  open. So it was great.
• 9:06
  And she's 24, by the way. So this is not as you're
• 9:09
  listening and thinking, oh, the 12 year old forgot her shoes,
• 9:13
  no. Well, if I travel with my kids
• 9:16
  who are all grown adults now, but if we're going on a fan to a
• 9:19
  family thing, I always bring 2 razors, 2 toothbrushes, 2 face
• 9:24
  washes because they always forget those type of things.
• 9:28
  And now I'm used to it. So I just packed 2 of
• 9:30
  everything. So I'm almost used to it now.
• 9:34
  I mean, you know. Oh my.
• 9:36
  Well, this my little apple doesn't far fall.
• 9:40
  Right. Clearly, clearly.
• 9:42
  All right, let's get into our topic right now.
• 9:44
  Mean Girls. Now, is Mean Girls still an
• 9:48
  issue when you are a woman over 50?
• 9:51
  I believe. It is, I totally believe it is.
• 9:54
  And I hear it even from women who live in those over 55
• 9:59
  communities who live in the, you know, assisted living areas.
• 10:05
  Always I hear stories about either they're always after the
• 10:09
  same man because they're mostly widowed and so they're all
• 10:13
  fighting over the same couple of guys, or they'll fight with each
• 10:18
  other like you know, you're not, you're cheating at Bridge.
• 10:21
  You know you're not my mom. My mom, let me tell you, if you
• 10:25
  can get yourself kicked out of a mahjong game, right?
• 10:27
  It's happened to my mom's not the mean girl.
• 10:30
  She's, but there are definite Mean Girls at the place she
• 10:35
  lives. Yeah, the assisted living.
• 10:36
  It's not assisted brother, but it's the net.
• 10:39
  It's one of those, right? Over 50?
• 10:41
  Yeah, Over 55. And they have all kinds of
• 10:43
  things and, and group cruises, right?
• 10:46
  There's a lot of so and so was going to room with me and now
• 10:49
  she's rooming with her or we don't want her at our mahjong.
• 10:52
  Right. Yes, absolutely.
• 10:55
  So I don't think it ends just because you're over 50, I mean
• 11:00
  at all. I think sometimes it could
• 11:02
  almost be a little bit worse because as you age you might not
• 11:07
  feel as good about yourself anymore.
• 11:09
  You don't look the same you've whatever the situation is.
• 11:13
  So there's a lot of jealousy. I feel Mean Girls, whether
• 11:17
  you're young or old is a lot to do with jealousy.
• 11:19
  A. Lot to do with insecurity and
• 11:21
  jealousy and tearing someone's building down instead of
• 11:26
  building yours higher. Yes.
• 11:28
  And I what I told you this before we started this episode,
• 11:32
  I live in fear that I'm a secret mean girl, not on the outside
• 11:37
  and not to someone's face. But I tend to think I
• 11:41
  overanalyze this a lot. You and I have talked quite a
• 11:43
  bit about what I call is my imposter syndrome, and we could
• 11:46
  do a whole episode, but I really question my motive.
• 11:50
  Sometimes I'll do something really nice for somebody.
• 11:53
  And then I asked myself, now did I do that because in my mind I
• 11:57
  saw a need and I wanted to fill it?
• 11:59
  Or did I do that because I saw an opportunity for me to be a
• 12:01
  good guy? And I know that ultimately what
• 12:06
  matters is the end result. But there's still that piece of
• 12:08
  me that wants to tear myself down and say, well, you're mean,
• 12:12
  girl. You don't do things, you're not
• 12:14
  so nice. You've got everyone fooled.
• 12:16
  See, and I think first of all, I would have never in a million
• 12:20
  years thought that you were a mean girl because I've been
• 12:23
  around you so much now and you bend over backwards for, for
• 12:29
  people around you and you never say no to anything ever.
• 12:33
  And so I was saying to you, why do you think that?
• 12:38
  Because someone who's constantly busy and going, going, going and
• 12:43
  doesn't have time to even probably go to the bathroom, to
• 12:47
  me, that's just someone who's busy, not mean.
• 12:50
  And I think it could be taken as standoffish or whatever, but
• 12:54
  you're just always having to go from one place to another to
• 12:57
  another. You'd love to stop and chat, but
• 12:59
  you just really can't because you'll be late to the next place
• 13:02
  you're going. So I never saw that I mean
• 13:07
  personally me but I I think you can get mean girl mixed up with
• 13:14
  wanting to be noticed. OK.
• 13:18
  Do you know what I mean? Like, interesting.
• 13:20
  Yes, yes. I interesting or wanting to be
• 13:24
  thought of in a certain way, or wanting somebody to say.
• 13:27
  Validate you or make you say God?
• 13:29
  She's so nice or she would never say anything like that, you know
• 13:33
  what I mean? So here's something I let me
• 13:36
  give you a great example of the difference between you and I
• 13:40
  there. There is something that you and
• 13:43
  your family have done for many, many, many years.
• 13:45
  On Christmas morning, you get up and you go to the homeless
• 13:47
  shelter and you celebrate with the kids.
• 13:49
  Yes. Well, we haven't done it in the
• 13:51
  past couple years since I had my own grandson, but we used to,
• 13:54
  yes, every single year for a long time.
• 13:57
  It's like. Pulling teeth to get you to tell
• 13:58
  people that. And the director of the homeless
• 14:01
  shelter, I had an opportunity to sit and have a meal with fairly
• 14:04
  recently and she was ready on it.
• 14:06
  And I'm like, this is not something she talks about.
• 14:08
  She just does it. If it were me, I am afraid to
• 14:12
  say that probably I would be. What do they call that term when
• 14:16
  you're doing these things socially so that everyone sees
• 14:18
  posturing or it's just meant to be like a good look.
• 14:22
  And I always question my motivation.
• 14:26
  Did I do it for the right reasons?
• 14:28
  Sure. I felt good after the fact, but
• 14:30
  did I, Did I do it so I could say I did it?
• 14:32
  I don't know, I I I get super hyper.
• 14:35
  I think that you're getting that mixed up, though, because I
• 14:38
  don't see that as a mean girl. I see wanting to be recognized.
• 14:45
  Wanting somebody to say that was such a sweet, thoughtful thing,
• 14:49
  whereas a mean girl is. So you and I are sitting with a
• 14:52
  group of women for lunch. OK.
• 14:55
  You get up to go to the bathroom and they start tearing you
• 14:58
  apart. Did you see those pants she was
• 15:00
  wearing? Look at those eyelashes.
• 15:03
  What did she do to her hair? Oh my God.
• 15:06
  Did she stop working out or, or the opposite?
• 15:10
  She's gotten so thin. She must be anorexic.
• 15:13
  You know what I mean? Like or she.
• 15:16
  Yeah, she must be on Ozempic or whatever.
• 15:18
  To me, that gives me anxiety, major anxiety, because I don't
• 15:23
  like when people say mean things about other people.
• 15:27
  And I do think, hi, it's Eden. To your point that I've only
• 17:36
  recently realized that in my line of work, being a DJ on the
• 17:41
  radio, doing a morning show, being on social media and doing
• 17:44
  all of these things, it's so a joke at someone's expense or a
• 17:49
  comment where somebody has done or said something that you could
• 17:54
  make fun of. It's such an easy, quick laugh,
• 17:57
  and I'm trying to get away from that.
• 18:00
  Right. So for, for example, there was a
• 18:04
  young country artist on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
• 18:07
  named Dasha. And the big story this morning
• 18:10
  was that she had lipstick all over her face.
• 18:14
  Well, here's her big moment. And she put the microphone too
• 18:17
  close. It was wet.
• 18:17
  It was raining. It was.
• 18:19
  Pouring. And she smeared her lipstick was
• 18:21
  smeared all over her chin. And the first part of me would
• 18:25
  want it say, like, oh, that's such an easy, fun story to tell.
• 18:28
  Oh my gosh, She had the lipstick all over her face.
• 18:30
  Did you see that? But instead, the really cute
• 18:32
  thing is all of the other women that came out to say, hey, girl,
• 18:37
  it happens to the best of us. Lesson learned.
• 18:40
  Next year, you'll know. And that kind of thing.
• 18:42
  People were really sweet about it, saying, you know, if this
• 18:45
  happens, it's, you know, you should still be really excited
• 18:48
  and proud that you were in this parade.
• 18:50
  And I just think that there's this part of me that instantly
• 18:53
  is like, oh, I got to talk about that.
• 18:55
  Somebody else had a misstep. Somebody else had an unfortunate
• 18:58
  incident or something looked silly on them.
• 19:02
  And I want to be the one to point it out really.
• 19:04
  Yeah, I just, I guess because I've never seen that side of you
• 19:08
  ever, ever, not even once ever seen that side.
• 19:12
  I. Think I'm just putting a lot of
• 19:13
  thought lately, thoughts that are going on inside my head.
• 19:18
  I don't think I do them on the outside, but I think they go on
• 19:20
  inside my head to the point where I'm constantly saying
• 19:24
  don't be a mean girl, don't be a mean girl.
• 19:25
  And I think that it worries me. Like do I have this in me?
• 19:28
  No, I don't think so. No, I like I said, I feel with
• 19:33
  social media now that there are so many Mean Girls out there and
• 19:38
  it's mainly everyone who is sitting home or, you know, not
• 19:45
  working or in their parents basement or whatever.
• 19:48
  You they, they say now where they're just criticizing people
• 19:52
  to criticize them. And I see it worse on TikTok
• 19:56
  than I do Instagram. And I think that I would not
• 20:02
  have the strength. To be able to take that type of
• 20:06
  criticism, I think you have to be a very strong, strong, strong
• 20:10
  person to have everything about you torn apart.
• 20:14
  And to me, that's a mean girl. That's somebody who can't say
• 20:19
  like whether you have an imperfection on your even a zit.
• 20:23
  I mean, people, did you see that zit on her face or oh, I don't
• 20:27
  like the way she colored her hair or what was she thinking
• 20:31
  when she wore that top? Now don't get be wrong if you're
• 20:35
  sitting around with your family, like meaning your husband, your
• 20:38
  kids, and you say something like, oh wow, look at that trip.
• 20:41
  I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when you are a
• 20:45
  with a group of other women. I always wonder when I see stuff
• 20:50
  like that, like in the comments on social media.
• 20:53
  Like what would make someone want to sit down and write a
• 20:57
  mean comment about someone else? I do I.
• 21:01
  Understand. Don't get it.
• 21:02
  I don't know if it's because I'm over 50, I don't know what it
• 21:06
  is, but I find that not just a mean girl, I find it incredibly
• 21:11
  disturbing. You know where it is, the wild,
• 21:14
  Wild West for that. And we are on all of the social
• 21:17
  medias mostly. Yeah, there's probably something
• 21:19
  new that we don't know about because we're over, right?
• 21:23
  YouTube is the wild Wild West. Of Oh yeah, I agree with that
• 21:27
  too. People are so mean.
• 21:28
  We've had people make fun of us, you and I, right?
• 21:32
  And you know, some podcasts enjoy sitting and reading the
• 21:34
  main comments. They're they're spread out so I
• 21:38
  don't even want to spend the time collecting.
• 21:40
  Right, I don't pay attention to anything like that.
• 21:43
  But people will say it's funny, I'll post the exact same video
• 21:48
  on every different format, and then on YouTube someone comes
• 21:51
  along and says something very nasty.
• 21:53
  Yeah. I just don't know what kind of
• 21:55
  unhappiness you have to be enduring.
• 21:56
  Well, and here's the thing, if you turn comments off, then the
• 22:00
  algorithms or something like that, they punish you for it
• 22:03
  because you've turned off all your comments.
• 22:07
  But you know, I think at my age, I don't care all, you know, if
• 22:11
  if I were to see that, I would just turn the comments off.
• 22:15
  But I just think that it everything right now has become
• 22:19
  a very Mean Girls kind of society, especially for women
• 22:24
  under 40 especially. That.
• 22:27
  Is rough because there's Instagram, the way your life
• 22:32
  appears on Instagram and the way your life is in real life.
• 22:37
  And people think that the Instagram life is the real life.
• 22:42
  And even if you really know the person, you know what's really
• 22:45
  going on in their life. And so I think what happens is
• 22:49
  people get jealous of the Instagram life, not knowing that
• 22:53
  this person may have a health issue or had a miscarriage or
• 22:58
  whatever it may be. There's real things going on in
• 23:01
  their life. And so I think it's just gotten
• 23:04
  so bad. I mean, so bad.
• 23:06
  And you know, part of me, I, I think that's where I have become
• 23:12
  more of a homebody. Like, yes, I have a very close
• 23:15
  group of friends that I'll go out and see and stuff, but I
• 23:17
  don't have time in my life to sit around and watch people talk
• 23:22
  about other people. The minute I see that, I just
• 23:25
  close off and I don't want to be around it.
• 23:29
  I have better things to do. I have, I would rather be around
• 23:32
  people who make me laugh. And I think life is too short
• 23:36
  now that I'm older to sit around and just listen to people pick
• 23:39
  people apart. So I think there's a reason
• 23:42
  sometimes why people isolate more if they're not picking nice
• 23:47
  friends and they're not picking girls or not girls, women to
• 23:52
  hang out with who are genuinely nice people, which I see you as
• 23:57
  a generally nice person. I think for you, I think it's
• 24:01
  not about being a mean girl. It's now.
• 24:02
  That you say it. Yeah.
• 24:04
  I feel a little bit better about that.
• 24:05
  I do still wish that every single thing I do that makes
• 24:09
  people say you're a nice person was coming from the purest of
• 24:12
  all pure places. I don't think anyone, I, I think
• 24:15
  everybody has a little bit of that in him.
• 24:17
  Like, so for instance, if I went and did something humongous for
• 24:23
  somebody and I mean, I didn't even get a thank you or an
• 24:26
  acknowledgement in any, I mean, I don't think that's a mean girl
• 24:30
  wanting to be acknowledged for something you've done nice for
• 24:34
  somebody. I mean, if they didn't ask you
• 24:36
  to do it, maybe you know, you, they, I didn't ask you to do it.
• 24:40
  But I think as you get older, you have to live and learn.
• 24:43
  Like if you do something nice for somebody and they're not
• 24:46
  acknowledging it, then I guess you won't be doing something
• 24:49
  nice for them next time. You know what I mean?
• 24:51
  Like that's it. Mel Robbins, who has a podcast
• 24:55
  that we love. Robbins.
• 24:57
  There's something else that she recently posted, and I have to
• 25:00
  tell you about this in an upcoming episode.
• 25:01
  Remind me now to tell and Google this.
• 25:04
  Everyone slithering. That's a Mel Robbins thing.
• 25:06
  We'll get to that. But she did a video the other
• 25:08
  day talking to young women and young women were saying, I want
• 25:13
  to talk to all my. It starts with a girl saying,
• 25:15
  I'm in my 20s. Why is it so hard to make
• 25:17
  friends? And Mel Robbins comes on and
• 25:20
  says, let me tell you why. Because when you are in school,
• 25:24
  friendships are are a big thing surrounded, but it becomes an
• 25:29
  individual sport when you're an adult, you have to make effort
• 25:32
  and you have to forgive more and you have to be patient and be
• 25:35
  willing to not see each other as much.
• 25:37
  And you have to be willing to meet people where they live and
• 25:39
  understand adult things that are happening in their life.
• 25:42
  It's not like school where they're they're going to be
• 25:44
  there the next day. One one way or the other, it's
• 25:47
  completely different. And my best friends are ones
• 25:49
  that I can go months and catch up with it.
• 25:53
  It's like no time has has passed.
• 25:56
  But having said that, there are still friendship circles where
• 26:01
  there is jealousy over who's spending more time with who.
• 26:05
  Oh, I thought she was so busy with her kids.
• 26:07
  And now I see she's at the talent center or the shopping
• 26:11
  center with so and so. So I think yeah, you.
• 26:13
  See, I don't get any of that. Right.
• 26:15
  You have to be willing as an adult to not care about those
• 26:17
  things because people's time is managed differently.
• 26:20
  Sometimes something's more convenient.
• 26:21
  It doesn't mean someone likes you less than the other person.
• 26:24
  There's that jealousy. Yeah, I don't.
• 26:26
  I don't have to deal with any of that because I first of all, I
• 26:30
  work, but second of all, I couldn't even stay.
• 26:34
  Like, that to me is like nails on a chalkboard.
• 26:36
  Like why I thought she had to do this.
• 26:38
  Why is why she's spending time with so and so I cannot, I mean
• 26:42
  it maybe it's something leftover from high school that gives me
• 26:47
  anxiety or middle school or whatever.
• 26:50
  I just, I, I just don't want to be around that anymore.
• 26:53
  I think that everybody at a certain age has to wake up one
• 26:57
  day and realize like the other day I realized this.
• 27:00
  I'm 62. If I'm lucky, I would live to
• 27:03
  what, 82? But after that, I mean, you're,
• 27:08
  you know what I'm saying, you really have to think about how
• 27:11
  many summers you have left on this earth.
• 27:14
  How many Christmases do you have left on this earth?
• 27:18
  And do you want to spend it being like, she did this and
• 27:22
  then I said I was going to go, but she said no.
• 27:24
  And then, yeah, I just, I can't. We have that in the running
• 27:29
  community a little bit because there are some group team relay
• 27:32
  type events. And I've had my feelings hurt a
• 27:35
  couple of times not being on a list, not being on the team,
• 27:39
  being on the extra person's team, like the run over team and
• 27:43
  you know, not being anyone's first choice.
• 27:44
  And sometimes I'll think to myself, actually, I feel like
• 27:47
  I'm not anyone's top of mind. I feel like I'm everybody's
• 27:50
  friend but nobody's top of mind when that's probably not the
• 27:53
  case at all. But I'm sitting here worrying
• 27:55
  about are you thinking about me every day?
• 27:57
  Like who's picking me for their team and nobody needs?
• 28:01
  To but that's because you're competitive.
• 28:04
  Let's see, I'm not competitive at all, but.
• 28:07
  It's not even about that because it really even when it's a non
• 28:10
  competitive thing, it's more about just who who would you
• 28:14
  pick when you were putting together?
• 28:16
  It's just a weird it's. Well, that reminds me of like
• 28:18
  middle school when you were being picked in PE for a team
• 28:22
  and if you were the last one to be picked, which by the way, was
• 28:26
  always me because I'm not athletic at all.
• 28:29
  I mean, nobody wanted me on their team because I'm not an
• 28:32
  athlete. And so I think, I think a lot of
• 28:36
  it does stem back from like your childhood.
• 28:39
  You always say. Which I say about everything and
• 28:42
  I'm not saying dwell on it and sit around and go God, when I,
• 28:46
  you know, I'm saying you do have to sometimes look at your own
• 28:50
  behavior. Like why do I care so much what
• 28:53
  they think? Why do I care that I wasn't
• 28:55
  picked for this relay team or whatever?
• 28:58
  Because really that's what it's about.
• 29:01
  It's always something that stems back to something else and in,
• 29:07
  you know, being a homebody probably stems back to something
• 29:11
  else. Do you know what I mean?
• 29:12
  Like not loving going out all the time and being a social
• 29:16
  butterfly and you know what I mean?
• 29:18
  I I think everything stems back to something else.
• 29:23
  Surely it does. I feel like we could just go on
• 29:26
  and on and. It's a great topic.
• 29:29
  It really, really is. Yeah.
• 29:30
  So if I mean even though you're over 50, yeah, I mean.
• 29:35
  That's the thing. So just remember this now,
• 29:37
  whether your perception of a mean girl is somebody who
• 29:40
  literally says something to your face and makes you feel worse,
• 29:43
  or you just get that vibe, or you're maybe around somebody who
• 29:47
  is always talking about. Other people, right?
• 29:49
  Look at that. Look at that.
• 29:51
  And wonder what it is about them.
• 29:53
  Maybe they need a little more boosting up, right?
• 29:55
  Maybe that's what it is. Either way, just remember this
• 29:59
  when you were over 50. Instead of worrying what the
• 30:03
  Mean Girls think about you, you can let it go.
• 30:06
  And don't look back. Thank you so much for joining us
• 30:09
  for this episode and before we wrap up, here are a couple of
• 30:12
  ways you can support us and stay connected.
• 30:14
  First, we invite you to join our free Facebook group called
• 30:17
  Uncluttered and Unfiltered Ladies Only.
• 30:20
  It's a great space to connect with like minded women and share
• 30:24
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• 30:27
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• 30:31
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• 30:40
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• 30:48
  these things in our show notes. Thank you for your support.
• 30:51
  Women over 50, we see you and we love you.